Nalimot ko na bilang
ng mga araw at buwan
mula nang simulan
lockdown upang mapigilan
pagkalat ng pandemyang COVID-19.
Madaling tanggapin
mahirap pasanin mga tiisin
ngunit ngayon pakiwari ko
hindi na maaring palampasin
kadilimang bumabalot sa atin.
Kay hirap isipin
sa napakaraming alalahanin
at mga suliranin hinaharap natin
bakit sa panahong ito mayroon pa rin
mga tao lihis ang mga isipan at damdamin?
Dahil sa COVID-19 nabuking ugali natin
panlalamang sa kapwa gawi pa rin
karahasan pinaiiral nang ang ilan ay
makatangan ng kaunting kapangyarihan
hirap na taumbayan, pinagmamalupitan.
Batid namin Panginoon
marami naming kasalanan
noon magpasahanggang ngayon
kami'y baon na baon
tila hindi na makakaahon.
Kagagawan namin ang lahat ng ito
mga lilo na pulitiko binoboto
sa halaga ng ilang daang piso
habang wala namang ibang tumakbo
na matino at mabuting pagkatao.
Marami sa amin
nahirati na sa dilim
ngunit mas marami ang ibig ay dilim
dahil doon kanilang naililihim
mga gawa nilang marumi at karimarimarim.
Hanggang kailan kami, Panginoon
magkikimkim nitong aming damdamin
saloobin nami'y nasasaktan
sa mga patuloy nilang kabuktutan
pati iyong Dakilang Ngalan nilalapastangan!
Larawan mula sa Reddit.com
Buksan mo Panginoon
aming mga paningin
huwag nang hayaang bulagin
ng mga sinungaling
mayroong mga dilang matatalim.
Dinggin mo Panginoon
aming panaghoy
para kaming tuyong kahoy
naluoy,
binaboy at tinaboy.
Ibangon kami, O Panginoon
manindigan para sa katotohanan
ipaglaban kahalagahan ng buhay
malayang makapaghayag
saloobin tulad ng sa nililiyag.
Sa amin ika'y mahabag
Panginoong Diyos naming butihin
itong aming hapis at pait
iyo sanang patamisin
upang ika'y aming hanapin at sundin!
Our lamentations continue, O Lord, as our nation is plunged into deeper and disturbing darkness. How can all kinds of darkness fall upon us in this administration? First, they found death as solution to many problems. And then came all their lies and fake news.
Not to mention their diplomatic ties with a godless government that has been dishonest from the very beginning regarding this pandemic.
They themselves have chosen to be in darkness at the very start of the COVID-19 pandemic who would rather pass blame and wash hands for every confusion in implementing the quarantine.
And, now comes their most serious attack to light, in shutting down a beacon of light of news and information.
The more we cry out to you, O dear Jesus, please come to us now. Quickly. And save us!
Jesus cried out and said, “Whoever believes in me believes not only in me but also in the one who sent me, and whoever sees me sees the one who sent me. I came into the world as light, so that everyone who believes in me might not remain in darkness.”
John 12:44-46
We pray for those in government, in this administration who’s leader had blasphemed your Most Holy Name not only once or twice for the grace of enlightenment and decency from the Holy Spirit.
We pray like your early church for the Holy Spirit to set aside just one or two good souls in this government – if there are still any – to be sent to bring enlightenment to this administration who thrives on lies and malice along with their minions and supporters.
Have mercy on us, Lord, have mercy.
Hear our cries and our pleas, O Lord of justice.
Show us your path of holiness amid this time of darkness and evil. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 03 May 2020
Photo by author, Parokya ni San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista, Bagbaguin, Santa Maria, Bulacan. April 2020.
Against the advice of good friends, I went out to distribute Holy Communion in the streets to some parishioners who have participated in our Sunday Mass early this morning at Facebook Live.
I know the risks involved despite our best efforts in having all the precautionary measures but, what convinced me to go on with it is a beautiful Psalm so appropriate during this quarantine period.
As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.
My being thirsts for God, the living God. When can I go and see the face of God?
And when our quarantine period was extended for the second time before the end of Holy Week last month, I began praying again Psalm 42 every night for that is when I truly long for God so much, most of the time lamenting to him our situation, my condition of being alone in my rectory.
This is the first time I felt like this, so different from those so-called “desolation” or “dryness” because I could feel God present in my prayers but… he is not “fresh”.
Like the deer longing for streams of water, my soul longs for God too.
Not just like the water we buy from a filling station but exactly what the deer yearns for — fresh water that is refreshingly cool not only on your face but deep into your body when sipped amid the burbling sounds of the spring, babbling through rocks and branches of trees with the loamy aroma of earth adding a dash of freshness in you.
Admittedly, sometimes I wonder if I still know how to pray or if I still pray at all!
I can feel God present but he is like someone stacked there in my mind, in my memory, in my ideas shaped by my years of learning and praying.
What I am longing for is a God so alive, so true not only in me but also in another person.
And that is when I realized, most likely, my parishioners must be longing for God too in the same way — the God we all come to meet and celebrate with every Sunday in our little parish, among the people present who are so alive, so vibrant, so true, so touching.
Our empty church since March due to COVID-19.
Psalm 42 is believed to have been sang by David when he was prevented from coming to the tent of God either during the reign of King Saul who plotted to kill him or during the revolt of his own son Absalom when he was already the king of Israel.
Like David or the psalmist, I miss celebrating Mass with my parishioners.
And maybe it is safe to assume that two or three of my parishioners are also feeling the same way with me and David, saying these to the Lord:
My tears have been my food day and night, as they ask daily, “Where is your God?”
Those times I recall as I pour out my soul,
When I went in procession with the crowd, I went with them to the house of God,
Amid loud cries of thanksgiving, with the multitude keeping festival.
Psalm 42:4-5
If there is one very essential thing this pandemic has brought back to us in our very busy lives, it is most certainly God. And if ever this is one thing people need most in this time of corona virus, it is spiritual guidance and nourishment from God through his priests.
Of course, people can pray and talk to God straight as the Pope had reminded us before Holy Week.
But, human as we are, we always experience God and his love, his kindness, his mercy, his presence among other people who guide us and join us in our spiritual journey. They are special people like friends or relatives or pastors with whom they can be themselves, let off some steam, get some rays of light of hope and encouragement.
And that this is why I try to keep in touch with my parishioners in various ways in this time of corona: even I myself can feel so low and dark despite my prayers and very condition of living right here in the house of God who can still feel alone and desolate, even depressed.
If I – a priest – go through all these uncertainties and doubts this in this time of quarantine, how much more are the people, the beloved sheep of Jesus the Good Shepherd?
Why are you downcast, my soul; why do you groan within me?
Wait for God, whom I shall praise again, my savior and my God.
Psalm 42:6
Photo by Ms. Ria De Vera, 10 April 2020.
After our Mass this morning when we set out to distribute the Holy Communion, there was a little drizzle. It did not last long that I just wore a hat and left my umbrella in the rectory.
There were about 30 people who waited for us to receive Holy Communion, most of them along the main highway that stretched to about 2 kilometers. Some families gathered with a little altar at their front gate while a waited a couple waited in a gas station along our route.
In less than 20 minutes, we have completed our mission and as we headed back to the parish, the rains fell again, this time stronger than before.
My driver commented, “The weather cooperated with us, Father”1
I just nodded my head to him inside his tricycle but deep inside me, I felt joy because God answered my prayer, my lamentations for he was crying too, – for me and his people.
May this lamentation be an answer to your lamentations during this pandemic of COVID-19.
Continue with your lamentations to God our Father for this very act of crying out to him is the working of the Holy Spirit he had sent us through our Lord Christ Jesus. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe, Easter Week III-A, 26 April 2020
Acts of the Apostles 2:14.22-33 ><)))*> 1 Peter 1:17-21 ><)))*> Luke 24:13-35
Photo by author, sunset at Laguna de Bay (Los Banõs), February 2020.
I am sure all of us can identify with the two disciples going home to Emmaus on that evening of Easter. And surely, as we accept with a heavy heart the extension of this enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) until May 15, we pray like them, saying, “Stay with us, Lord.”
As they approached the village to which they were going, he (Jesus) gave the impression that he was going on farther. But they urged him, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening and the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them. And it happened that, while he was with them at table, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them. With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, “Were not our hearts were burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?”
Jesus always walking with us, without us recognizing him
Once again we see the presence of darkness in this story of Easter found only in St. Luke’s gospel. And that is the beauty of Easter – like Christmas – showing us the immense love of God for us that he sent us his Son Jesus Christ in the darkest moments of our lives to lead us to light and life.
And it always happens when we least expect it like that Easter evening when Cleopas and his companion were on their way to Emmaus.
Jesus comes to us as a stranger and most of all, joins us in the “wrong direction” to bring us back to the right path we must take especially when things go against our plans and expectations.
Until now, we cannot still believe how these things are happening to us: the lockdown, the sufferings and uncertainty of life when everything is on a “wait-and-see” situation especially in business and education while houses of worship remain closed and mass gatherings prohibited to control the spread of COVID-19.
But, if we look back and see how we are today, do we not also feel our “hearts burning within” that despite all the sickness and deaths almost everywhere, we are still here, alive, forging on in darkness, and most of all, somehow being led by Jesus even though we do not recognize him right away to be always on our side?
Yes, we worry, we ache deep inside but, more than these, we hope, we love, we live because we firmly believe in the Risen Lord present in us, present among us.
Deep in our hearts we experience Jesus with us, feeling with us, listening to our cries and worries just like that Easter evening to Emmaus. As we would say in Filipino, “ah basta!” that means without doubt, we are certain of someone or something from deep within not visibly seen.
“Supper at Emmaus” by renowned painter Caravaggio. See the emotion depicted by Caravaggio with his trademark of masterful play of light and shadows. At the center is the Risen Lord blessing the bread that caught the two disciples who are seated in disbelief, one outstretching his arms and the others pushing back in his chair. The third character in the painting is the innkeeper unaware of the significance of the gesture of Jesus. It was at this instance that the two disciples recognized Christ as the travelling man with them to Emmaus.
Our inner recognition of Christ in the breaking of bread
Notice that in all resurrection stories, the followers of Jesus did not recognize him immediately. There is always that feeling within them, like what we feel when we see somebody and we try to recall where we have met him/her, trying to dig into our memories when and how did we get to know the seemingly not “stranger” before us.
It is a funny feeling that is finally resolved with a very simple memory of an instance long ago or a small detail that leads into an “inner recognition” of the person before us.
This is how the disciples of Jesus recognized him — not through his external appearances but more from within like when Cleopas and his companion invited him into their home in Emmaus or when the seven apostles led by Simon Peter met him by the shore of the lake when no one would dare ask who he is because deep within, they knew it was the Lord (Jn.21;12-14).
And this happens always in the context of a meal, a table fellowship when Jesus instituted the Sacrament of the Eucharist on Holy Thursday evening before he was arrested to be crucified.
Here we find the mystery of this sign left to us by Jesus to be his very presence among us in his Body and Blood under the perceptible signs of bread and wine as well as the Sacred Scriptures proclaimed in every liturgical gathering: the more we do not see his outward appearances, the more we recognize Jesus!
Every time we celebrate the Mass and listen to the scriptures proclaimed, we realize within us like the people of Jerusalem in the first reading that this Jesus of Nazareth is a true person present in our lives fulfilling his works of salvation despite our sinfulness.
Like some people we meet, we recognize Jesus Christ not with the outward appearances but from within, from what we have experienced beyond explanations that gives us always a sense of awe because as St. Peter tells us in the second reading, “he had ransomed us from our futile conduct with his most precious blood” (1 Pt. 1:18-19) which is affirmed to us in every celebration of the Holy Eucharist.
The Easter mystery of recognizing Jesus when he vanishes
Every Sunday afternoon since this lockdown began due to COVID-19, we have been bringing the Blessed Sacrament around our Parish to remind the people of Christ’s presence among us.
And every Sunday, I am amazed at the faith of the people who would kneel on the side of the road, totally believing that it is Jesus himself who visits them in the Blessed Sacrament.
The sight is so moving with people from all walks of life bowing their heads or raising their hands, recognizing Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament as they pray in silence with others crying. The few motorists passing by stop at the side of the road to see Jesus and be blessed while others get near our truck for a blessing.
Here lies the great mystery of Easter: Jesus need not appear to us in person because as he vanishes in the Blessed Sacrament, that is when we recognize him!
In the most simple gestures of the Mass under the most simple signs of bread and wine, Jesus vanishes from our outward view and through this vanishing our interior or inner recognition opens up that we “see” him in the many instances he had touched us especially in our “heart-breaking” experiences in the past.
We know with certainty that “it is the Lord” – Dominus est – present in every breaking of bread because part of the Easter mystery tells us deep within that it is only in his vanishing that he truly becomes recognizable to us.
What a shame and a tragedy especially in these days of live television or internet Mass when priests do all the gimmicks and antics to wow the people as if they are audience in a show than faithful in a sacred gathering.
May we not forget this mystery of Easter that, the more Jesus vanishes, the more we recognize him because Jesus is more than enough than anybody or anything else especially in the Mass. And when we pray “Stay with us, Lord”, we actually ask for more faith to believe in him to see him in his vanishing. Amen.
A blessed week ahead to everyone! Stay safe, stay in the Lord.
The Lord Is My Chef Recipe in the Octave of Easter, also Divine Mercy Sunday, 19 April 2020
Acts 2:42-47 ><)))*> 0 <*(((>< 1 Peter 1:3-9 ><)))*> 0 <*(((>< John 20:19-31
Carrying around our parish the Blessed Sacrament every Sunday afternoon since lockdown began.
I have almost forgotten – and it is only now amid this extended lockdown – that I have realized the first Easter happened in darkness! We are in the same situation with the Apostles when Jesus rose from the dead.
What we need is to “quarantine” ourselves more, our heart and soul within to see and recognize our Risen Lord among us like during that first Easter.
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”
John 20:19-23
Stained glass at the back of our parish church depicting the appearance of the Risen Jesus with Thomas, aka, Didymus. Photo by author, 02 April 2020.
Jesus always comes in darkness to bring light of peace
In our reflection last Holy Wednesday, we have mentioned how Jesus was born during the darkest night of the year to bring us that light of hope and salvation. The same is true with Easter when he resurrected in the darkest part of the day just before dawn.
Jesus indeed is the light that bursts and pierces through the darkest darkness of the world and of our very lives, our sinfulness. This is the reason we also celebrate this Sunday the Feast of the Divine Mercy of God in Jesus Christ.
Through his Passion, Death and Resurrection, Jesus is the only one who can penetrate through whatever blockages and imprisonment we have or we are into like sin and evil, pains and hurts in the past that filled us with so much guilt.
In his Divine Mercy, Jesus had come to give us our life back complete with the gift of freedom that we have all lost to sin and evil.
And that is why on Easter, Jesus gave us his greatest gift of all which is peace or shalom in Hebrew that means wholeness or holiness. To be whole literally is to have a good relationship with one’s self, with others, and with God.
Vatican II asserts in its Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World:
Peace is more than the absence of war: it cannot be reduced to the maintenance of a balance of power between opposing force not does it arise out of despotic dominion, but it is appropriately called “the effect of righteousness” (Is.32:17). It is the fruit of that right ordering of things…
Gaudium et Spes, no. 78
Righteousness in the bible means justice that is also equivalent to holiness which is, to be filled with God, not necessarily to be sinless. That is why after greeting them with peace the second time, Jesus breathed on them the Holy Spirit, an imagery that reminds us of the story of creation when God breathed on the first humans to have life.
At Easter, we were breathed on again by the Risen Lord to renew our lives, to fill us again with God and be closest to him in our breath and thus enabling us to be free again from sin and evil, free for God and for others.
What a joy to read these days due to lockdowns worldwide that the Sierra Madres and Mt. Samat can be seen again from the metropolis or the Himalayas from India after 30 years due to clearer skies with less pollution. Or, the lions in Africa’s wildlife parks lazily sleeping without being disturbed by humans.
These are proofs that there is life indeed amid the darkness of this pandemic when Jesus restores life and balance, making everything new and alive again!
From Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News
From Esquire Philippines
From malaymail.com
From BBC news
Peace and mercy, unity and mission
At his Supper before his arrest, Jesus prayed to God our Father that we may all be one – ut unum sint – like him and Father (John 17:21) are one. This would be partly fulfilled on Easter and eventually at the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost when the Church is eventually launched.
It is in our faith that we enter into communion with the Father in Jesus Christ and with one another as a community, as a church.
That is why it was a beautiful imagery of Thomas eventually joining them the following Sunday not because he lacked faith; he had faith that is why he came to see and experience Jesus. And that faith bloomed upon encountering Jesus again that according to tradition, Thomas preached the good news to India where he died a martyr by being skinned alive.
We have always said in our previous reflections that whenever and wherever there is faith, there is always union and unity with God and others.
Eventually, from every unity and community, there is always mission.
In our first reading today we have heard how the early Christians were one in their faith, always praying, that is, celebrating the Eucharist from which flowed out their mission.
All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each one’s need.
Acts 2:44-45
Easter in our Parish amid COVID-19.
In his entire life, we have seen that Jesus had always been clear in his being sent, that the words he had spoken and things he had done were not all his but from and by the Father.
Watch closely John’s narration of after the Lord’s Resurrection:
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
John 20:19-21
After giving them the gift of peace and filling them with his breath of life to signify they have been forgiven for their sins and failures when they left him on Good Friday, Jesus is now drawing them into his great mission: As the Father has sent me, so I send you.
This is the defining and definitive characteristic of the Church, of any community of disciples in every age, most especially in this time of the corona virus pandemic.
Our mission continues in the darkness of COVID-19
Churches may be closed, public Masses are banned but the mission of proclaiming in words and in deeds the good news of the Risen Lord continues very loud and clear.
Detractors would always malign us, would spend for trolls just to ask “where is the Church in this time of crisis” but the people know best that we have never been remiss nor even flinched a single second whenever disasters strike anywhere in the world.
In the darkest moments of history in the past up to the present, the Church as a community of disciples of Jesus has always shine so brightly in Christ standing up for the poor and oppressed, the marginalized and forgotten, the sick and the hungry, those suffering in the most far-flung areas with its extensive networks of parishes and BEC’s.
This is also the reason why people always malign us in the Church about what we are doing amid the poverty and sufferings of the world: we work in silence because we are merely being sent by Jesus Christ. Like him our Lord and Master, whatever we say and do are not ours but the One who sent us, the Father in heaven.
We merely represent Jesus Christ who represents the Father and guided by the Holy Spirit, together we forge onto the darkness of this pandemic despite the many sufferings we go through, “tested by fire so that we may prove to be for the praise, glory, and honor of revealing Jesus Christ” (cf. 1 Peter 1:6-7).
This is who we are, disciples of Jesus sent to proclaim his love and mercy especially in the midst of all darkness.
This Sunday amid the darkness and threats of COVID-19, let us join the psalmist in his song, “Give thank to the Lord for he is good, his love is everlasting” (Responsorial Psalm , Ocatve of Easter).
A blessed week to everyone. Stay safe but keep working for the Lord! Amen.
Easter Vigil in our Parish, 12 April 2020.
Photos in the collage clockwise: Malolos Diocese Social Action Center, Inc. with Caritas Manila spearheading relief operations in Bulacan; Sisters from the Daughters of St. Anne walking through fields and mountains to reach out to our poorest of the poor; trays of thousands of eggs to be given away to fisherfolks in Binuangan, Obando by Fr. Ramon Garcia III; last two photos, beneficiaries of the 10-m Php worth of Gift Certificates given throughout Bulacan before Holy Week that included everyone even those from other faith and beliefs.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 April 2020
Photo by Mr. Chester Ocampo, Immaculate Conception Seminary chapel, 2014.
It was three in the morning
my day was earlier than usual calling
while kneeling I began praying
I could not believe the words coming
for they are meant before sleeping:
"Father, into your hands, I commend my spirit."
Since the beginning
of this quarantine
there is this feeling
seeping within, asking
what is happening
but scared when answering.
It is reality now biting
reminding me of one thing
that is so intimidating
haunting me ever since
not just of dying
but of being alone.
I know it is the Easter season
but there must be a reason
why this is going on:
I have never felt alone
until I have grown old
when there is nobody home.
When Jesus died on the cross
he was alone but never abandoned
for when he implored
the Psalm for his farewell song
he added the word "Father" that will lead us on.
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit!
Such was the loneliness of the Lord
but in one word expressed his oneness
and closeness amid the great darkness
a love so immense, so intense
where every life and spirit here on earth commenced.
What a unique invitation
from Jesus to follow him on the Cross
into his Resurrection
by being lonely and abandoned
so we may pray in his filial way
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit!
It is in calling God our Father
when we are far and lost
that we can truly have that intimacy
with our Maker who breathed into thee
the very spirit that keep us alive
here and in eternity.
The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul, Wednesday in the Octave of Easter, 15 April 2020
Acts of the Apostles 3:1-10 <*(((>< +++ ><)))*> Luke 24:13-35
Dearest Jesus Christ:
It is the Easter Season but the way things are happening in our country today calls us to express our lamentations to you, O Lord.
Come to us, Lord Jesus in this darkest hours of our lives when we feel like joining the two disciples returning to Emmaus to leave everything and go back to our previous life.
Nobody seems to care at all: children are in the streets, adults in massive gatherings, everybody complaining, and worst of all, our leaders cramming at how to address this crisis without any definite plans as they have been lying to us since the beginning.
The only glimmer of hope we find these days are from our frontliners who strive to serve everyone despite the fact they have been taken for granted for so long.
Send us more new leaders – not recycled liars – who can be like Peter and John willing to be your instruments to raise us up again and set us free to stand again for what is true.
Open also our eyes, Lord, to see more of the possibilities available in the midst of the confusions around and within us.
Give us the Spirit of wisdom and encouragement for others losing hope and directions.
Help us to persevere more along with others who have seen and experienced you especially in the breaking of bread. Amen.
Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News, March 2020. Used with permission.
Tonight is “Spy Wednesday” – the night traitors and betrayers are put on the spotlight because it was on this night after Palm Sunday when Judas Iscariot struck a deal with the chief priests to hand them over Jesus for 30 pieces of silver (Mt. 26:14-16).
The “Tenebrae” is celebrated in some churches when candles are gradually extinguished with the beating of drums and sounding of matraca to evoke silence and some fear among people as they leave in total darkness to signal the temporary victory of evil in the world for tomorrow we enter the Paschal Triduum of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Vigil of the Lord.
From Google.
Darkness generally evokes evil and sin, uncertainties and sufferings. But, at the same time, darkness preludes light!
That is why Jesus Christ was born during the darkest night of the year to bring us light of salvation.
Beginning tonight, especially tomorrow at his agony in the garden, we shall see Christ entering through darkness reaching its climax on Friday when he dies on the cross with the whole earth covered in darkness, rising on Easter in all his glory and majesty.
Our present situation in an extended Luzon-wide lockdown offers us this unique experience of darkness within and without where we can learn some important lessons from the Lord’s dark hours beginning tomorrow evening of his Last Supper.
St. John gives us a glimpse into how we must deal with life’s darkness that plagues us almost daily with his unique story of the Lord’s washing of his disciples’ feet on the night he was betrayed.
Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper… he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and dry them with the towel around his waist. He came to Simon Peter…
John 13:1-2, 4-6
Photo from aleteia.org.
It is very interesting to reflect how Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter dealt with their own inner darkness on that night of Holy Thursday when Jesus was arrested.
Though Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter are poles apart in their personalities, they both give us some traits that are so characteristic also of our very selves when we are in darkness. In the end, we shall see how Jesus turned the darkness of Holy Thursday into becoming the very light of Easter.
Getting lost in darkness like Judas Iscariot
Right after explaining the meaning of his washing of their feet and exhorting them to do the same to one another, Jesus begins to speak of Judas Iscariot as his betrayer.
When he had said this, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me …It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I had dipped it.” So he dipped the morsel and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. After he took the morsel, Satan entered him… and left at once. And it was night.
John 13:21, 26-27, 30
Photo from desiringgod.org
The scene is very dramatic.
Imagine the darkness outside the streets of Jerusalem in the stillness of the night and the darkness inside the Upper Room where they were staying.
More darker than that was the darkness among the Apostles not understanding what Jesus was saying about his betrayer because they thought when Judas left, he was being told to buy more wine or give money to the poor!
Most of all, imagine the darkness within Judas.
To betray means to hand over to suffering someone dear to you.
That’s one darkness we always have within, of betraying Jesus, betraying our loved ones because we have found somebody else to love more than them. Satan had taken over Judas. The same thing happens to us when we sin, when we love someone more than those who truly love us or those we have vowed to love always.
And the darkest darkness of all is after handing over our loved ones, after dumping them for something or somebody else, we realize deep within the beautiful light of truth and love imprinted in our hearts by our betrayed loved ones – then doubt it too!
The flickering light of truth and love within is short lived that we immediately extinguish it, plunging us into total darkness of destruction like Judas when he hanged himself.
See how Judas went back to the chief priests because “he had sinned”, giving them back the 30 pieces of silver to regain Jesus.
Here we find the glow of Jesus, of his teachings and friendship within Judas still etched in his heart — the light of truth and love flickering within.
Any person along with their kindness and goodness like Jesus, our family and true friends can never be removed from one’s heart and person. They will always be there, sometimes spurting out in our unguarded moments because they are very true.
That is the darkest darkness of Judas – and of some of us – who think we can never be forgiven by God, that we are doomed, that there is no more hope and any chance at all.
See how the evangelist said it: “Judas left at once. And it was night.”
And that is getting lost in darkness permanently, eaten up by darkness within us because we refuse to believe in the reality of a loving and forgiving God who had come to plunge into the darkness of death to be one with us so we can be one in him. What a loss.
Groping in the dark into the light like Peter
Photo by author, Church of Gallicantu, Jerusalem where the cock crowed after Peter denied Jesus the third time, May 2017.
Of the Twelve, it is perhaps with Simon Peter we always find ourselves identified with: the eager beaver, almost a “bolero” type who is so good in speaking but many times cannot walk his talk.
“Master, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.”
John 13:6-8
Here is Peter so typical of us: always assuming of knowing what is right, which is best, as if we have a monopoly of the light when in fact we are in darkness.
See how during the trial of Jesus before the priests, Peter denied him thrice, declaring he never knew Jesus while outside in the dark, completely in contrast with Jesus brilliantly answering every question and false accusation against him inside among his accusers!
Many times in our lives, it is so easy for us to speak on everything when we are in our comfort zones, safe and secured in our lives and career. But when left or thrown out into the harsh realities of life, we grope in the darkness of ignorance and incompetence, trials and difficulties.
How often we are like Peter refusing Jesus to wash our feet because we could not accept the Lord being so humble to do that simply because he is the Lord and Master who must never bow low before anyone.
And that is one darkness we refuse to let go now shaken and shattered by the pandemic lockdown! The people we used to look down upon are mostly now in the frontlines providing us with all the comforts we enjoy in this crisis like electricity, internet, security, food, and other basic services.
Bronze statue of the call of Peter by Jesus. Photo by author, May 2017.
We have always thought of the world, of peoples in hierarchy, in certain status where there are clear delineations and levels of importance, totally forgetting the lessons of Jesus of being like a child, of service and humility: “whoever wants to be great must be the least and servant of all.”
According to Matthew and Luke, Peter realized his sins – the darkness within him – of denying Jesus thrice after the cock crowed that he left the scene weeping bitterly, feeling so sorry. Eventually after Easter, Peter would meet Jesus again on the shores of the Lake of Tiberias, asking him thrice, “do you love me?”
Peter realized how dark his world has always been but in that instance when he declared his love that is so limited and weak did he finally see the light of Christ in his love and mercy!
Unlike Judas, Peter moved out of darkness and finally saw the light in the Risen Lord right in the very place where everything started when he was called to be a fisher of men, in his humanity as he was called by his original name, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?”.
Human love is always imperfect and Jesus knows this perfectly well!
The best way to step out of darkness within us is to be like Simon — simply be your imperfect self, accepting one’s sins and weakness for that is when we can truly love Jesus who is the only one who can love us perfectly.
Overcoming darkness in, Jesus, with Jesus, through Jesus
Though the fourth gospel and the synoptic gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke differ in providing us with the transition from the Upper Room of the Last Supper into the agony in the garden, the four evangelists provide us with one clear message at how Jesus faced darkness: with prayer, of being one in the Father.
Even on the cross of widespread darkness, Jesus spoke only to pray to the Father.
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to feel sorrow and distress.
Matthew 26:36-37
Photo by author, altar of the Church of All Nations beside the Garden of Gethsemane, May 2017. The church is always dimly lit to keep the sense of darkness during the Agony in the Garden of Jesus.
Before, darkness for man was seen more as a curse falling under the realm of evil and sin; but, with the coming of Jesus, darkness became a blessing, a prelude to the coming of light.
We have mentioned at the start of our reflection that Jesus was born during the darkest night of the year to show us he that is the light of the world, who had come to enlighten us in this widespread darkness, within us and outside us.
As the light of the world, Jesus was no stranger to darkness which he conquered and tamed in many instances like when they were caught in a storm at sea and in fact, when walked on water to join his disciples caught in another storm.
But most of all, Jesus had befriended darkness and made it a prelude to light.
How? By always praying during darkness. By prayer, it is more than reciting some prayers common during his time as a Jew but as a form of submission to the will of the Father. Jesus befriended darkness by setting aside, forgetting his very self to let the Father’s will be done.
Bass relief of agony in the garden on the wall of the Church of All Nations at Gethsemane. Photo by author, May 2019.
This he showed so well in two instances, first on Mount Tabor where he transfigured and second in Gethsemane before his arrest.
In both events, Jesus showed us the path to overcoming darkness is always through prayers, of being one in the Father.
It is in darkness when God is most closest to us because it is then when we get a glimpse of himself, of his love and mercy, of his own sufferings and pains, and of his glory.
This is something the three privileged disciples – Simon Peter, James and his brother John – did not realize while being with Jesus at both instances until after Easter. We are those three who always fall asleep, who could not keep with praying in Jesus, with Jesus, and through Jesus.
It was in the darkness of the night when Jesus spent most of his prayer periods, communing with the Father up in a mountain or a deserted place.
On Mount Tabor, Jesus showed his coming glory while in Gethsemane he showed his coming suffering and death. But whether in Gethsemane or on Mount Tabor, it is always Jesus we meet inviting us to share in his oneness with the Father, in his power in the Holy Spirit to overcome every darkness in life.
And the good news is he had already won for us!
Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News of Mt. Samat with the Memorial Cross across the Manila Bay following clear skies resulting from the lockdown imposed since March 17, 2020.
In these extended darker days of quarantine period, let us come to the Lord closer in prayer to. experience more of his Passion and Death, more of his darkness so we may see his coming glory when everything is finally cleared in this corona pandemic.
Prayer does not necessarily change things but primarily changes the person first. And that is when prayer changes everything when we become like Jesus in praying.
Jesus is asking us to leave everything behind, to forget one’s self anew to rediscover him in this darkness when we get out of our comfort zones to see the many sufferings he continues to endure with our brothers and sisters with lesser things in this life, with those in total darkness, with those groping in the dark.
Now more than ever, we have realized the beauty of poverty and simplicity, of persons than things.
And most especially of darkness itself becoming light for us in this tunnel.
May Jesus enlighten us and vanish all darkness in us so that soon, we shall celebrate together the joy of his coming again in this world darkened by sin. Amen.
Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, ika-07 ng Abril 2020
Minsan sa aking pananalangin sa takip-silim
hindi kaagad namalayan sa gitna ng dilim
nakamasid pala sa akin
si Kristong nakabitin nang
sa krus namatay para sa atin.
Nang siya ay aking tingalain
ako'y namangha sa tanawin
sa kanyang mga anino
sa akin ay nagpapaalala
huwag mangamba, kasama siya tuwina.
Noong mga bata pa tayo
itong ating mga anino
ang siyang lagi nating kalaro
dahil lagi tayong sinasabayan
kailanman hindi tayo iniwan.
Kaya naman nang aking pagmasdan
larawan nina San Juan at Birheng Mahal
sa magkabilang pagitan ng krus na pinagpakuan
ni Hesus na ating katubusan
kakaiba ang aking naramdaman:
Katiyakang hindi iiwanan
kapag ako'y laging nasa kanyang paanan
nananalangin, nananampalataya
handa na siya ay tularan at sundan
lahat ay iwanan alang-alang sa pagkakaibigan.
40 Shades of Lent, Sunday Week IV-A, 22 March 2020
1 Samuel 16:1, 6-7, 10-13 +++ Ephesians 5:8-14 +++ John 9:1-41
Photo by author, Laetare Sunday 2019, Parokya ni San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista, Bagbaguin, Santa Maria, Bulacan, Philippines.
Today is the Fourth Sunday of Lent known in its Latin verb form “Laetare Sunday” when the liturgy calls us to rejoice because Easter is fast approaching.
But how can we rejoice in the midst of an “enhanced community quarantine” or lockdown, when we cannot even come to church to celebrate the Sunday Mass together, when so many people are dying while millions of others face uncertainties with the widespread disruptions and problems in life caused by COVID-19 worldwide.
On this date is also my 55th birthday – but, no worries, the more I rejoice in the Lord almost alone. Thank you for all the greetings that have been pouring since yesterday. As I was telling you last Sunday, COVID-19 has brought some blessings or good news too for us.
Let us rejoice in the Lord today because he has not left us, the more we feel him present with us, thanks or no thanks to Corona virus.
As Jesus passed by he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”
John 9:1-3
Our “blaming game” vs. light of Christ
More than ever as we suffer through this pandemic of COVID-19, many of us have again resorted to that old myth that whenever something bad happens to us, especially sickness, it is always taken as a punishment from God.
It is totally untrue because nothing bad can come from God. Many times in our lives, we become artificially blind that despite our gift of sight we fail and even refuse to see the truth and realities in us and around us, even in front of us!
What happens is our tendency to blame others like in that question to Jesus, who sinned – the parents or the man himself that he was born blind?
This is the problem with our “blaming game” : we are blinded from taking responsibilities for our acts that we would rather blame others even God for everything bad that happens to us. There are more times that there is no one to be blamed at all like our genes or Mother Nature; we just have to accept things as they are.
And that’s one lesson we must learn fast: there can be no rejoicing when there is no self-acceptance.
How funny and sad that less than a week since our Luzon-wide lockdown, many of us have been quarreling on-line on almost everything we see and hear on TV and the social media that has led to bashing and nasty exchanges of words, even breakdowns. Very funny, and tragic when we focus on non-essentials, almost forgetting COVID-19.
How tragic that some chose to hide facts and truths that have caused the lives of others, too. This is the dark reality of our blaming game – we never admit anything wrong about us.
See beyond external things. Try seeing also how God is working in our midst as Jesus offers us in this holy season of Lent the best way to deal with our present situation by returning to him, by believing in him.
Photo by author, Baliwag, Bulacan (25 February 2020).
Have you noticed the many little miracles happening in some families now together, praying together, staying together?
One reason for rejoicing this fourth Sunday of Lent is perhaps everyone’s hope that after this COVID-19 episode, we all start a new chapter of renewed relationships and bonds, of fresh outlooks after rediscovering the value of life and every person again.
Jesus spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva, and smeared the clay on his eyes, and said to him, “Go wash in the Pool of Siloam”- which means Sent. So he went and washed, and came back able to see.
John 9:6-7
Here again is the presence of water like in last Sunday’s story to remind us of the Sacrament of Baptism which is closely tied with the season of Lent. St. John had translated the meaning of Siloam as “Sent” to stress that Jesus is the Christ, the One sent to cleanse us and wash away our blindness caused by sins and evil.
Another reason to rejoice this Sunday! Most especially now many of us realize the value of the Holy Mass, especially the Sunday Eucharist we used to take for granted before. Every time we celebrate the Mass, we perfect the Baptism we have received when we are washed and refreshed anew in Jesus through his words and Body and Blood.
It is only when we stop blaming others when we begin to see our true selves, when changes finally begin to happen in us.
Like God, let us try to see things and persons beyond what is physical. In the first reading, God chose David over his elder and better brothers who would later defeat Goliath to become Israel’s greatest king from whose lineage came Jesus Christ.
Jesus on the Cross, our true joy
Photo by author, Lent 2019, Parokya ni San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista, Bagbaguin, Santa Maria, Bulacan, Phils.
The moment we remove Jesus in our lives, when we refuse to acknowledge him as our Lord and Savior, that is also when we are blinded by sin, especially by pride.
Do we not see this so true that led one way or the other to this pandemic?
We have totally turned away from God and his ways, following our greedy paths of power and wealth. We have long been distant from one another despite the great advances in modern communications that have also brought us farther away from God as we spend more time with our gadgets.
We can never rejoice for ourselves and for others when we are far from Jesus Christ. In his very unique manner of looking at things, St. John presents to us some funny contrasts in the story of the man born blind that we also see happening in this COVID-19 pandemic.
Our Tabernacle, Laetare 2019.
First is when the people doubted the man healed by Jesus was himself the one “who used to sit and beg”, despite his clear declaration of “I am”. We have experienced this so many times when others doubt we can rise and become better.
How sad these past days we have seen how some people have been so mean especially with younger and newer leaders who have risen against the threats of COVID-19, shooting down their efforts, even to the point of maligning and even threatening them. It is as if they are the only “anointed ones” with whom God can work with.
Second is the attitude of the parents of the man born blind: betrayers are the worst kind of artificially blind people. Like the parents of the man born blind, they refused to vouch for his identity and healing for fears of being banned from temple worship.
Ouch! for us in the church with our “holier-than-thou-attitude” especially with those closest with us like family members and friends. Like Judas Iscariot, sometimes those supposed to be dearest to us are blinded by money, power, and fame that they also betray and dump us.
Where has all the love gone for one another, for the country?
In the sacristy, Laetare 2019.
Lastly, there are those supposed to be learned ones but unfortunately blinded simply by lack of faith in God like those Pharisees who refused to believe the man born blind’s story of healing as well as to recognize Jesus as the Christ.
Observe the attitudes of the Pharisees who claimed to know “this man, Jesus, is a sinner” because he healed on a Sabbath while the man born blind retorted “I do not know (Jesus) but how come he had healed me?”
What a tragic comedy! It is the root of the mess we are into today of so many learned men and women pretending to know so much but totally incompetent and ignorant of the realities going on, who do not care at all with the plight of the masses!
Both the whole world and our country are in deep darkness today with so many blind leaders and followers alike. Let us heed St. Paul’s reminder not to be blinded, to stop blaming others and to start confronting ourselves in the light of Jesus Christ.
“Take no part in fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them, for it is shameful even to mention the things done by them in secret; but everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that becomes visible is light.”
Ephesians 5:11-14
Rejoice for an enlightened Sunday and new week for everyone despite COVID-19. Amen.
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