Father, into your hands I commend my spirit

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 April 2020

It was three in the morning
my day was earlier than usual calling
while kneeling I began praying
I could not believe the words coming
for they are meant before sleeping:
"Father, into your hands, I commend my spirit."

Since the beginning
of this quarantine
there is this feeling
seeping within, asking
what is happening
but scared when answering.

It is reality now biting
reminding me of one thing
that is so intimidating
haunting me ever since
not just of dying
but of being alone.

I know it is the Easter season
but there must be a reason
why this is going on:
I have never felt alone
until I have grown old
when there is nobody home.

When Jesus died on the cross
he was alone but never abandoned
for when he implored 
the Psalm for his farewell song
he added the word "Father" that will lead us on.

Father, into your hands I commend my spirit!
Such was the loneliness of the Lord
but in one word expressed his oneness
and closeness amid the great darkness
a love so immense, so intense
where every life and spirit here on earth commenced.

What a unique invitation
from Jesus to follow him on the Cross
into his Resurrection  
by being lonely and abandoned
so we may pray in his filial way
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit!

It is in calling God our Father
when we are far and lost
that we can truly have that intimacy
with our Maker who breathed into thee
the very spirit that keep us alive
here and in eternity.