Pakikiramay at paglalamay bilang pagpapala

Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-24 ng Mayo 2023

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Jesuit Cemetery sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 Marso 2023.*

Bago pa man ako naging pari ay madalas ko nang naririnig ang tanong ng karamihan na bakit nga ba tayo nagkikita-kita lamang kung mayroong namamatay? Bakit nga ba hindi tayo magkita-kita ng madalas habang buhay pa upang ipahayag ating pagmamahal sa kaibigan o kamag-anak kesa yung sila ay patay na?

Bakas sa mga katanungang ito ang malungkot na katotohanan ng buhay lalo na sa mga nagkaka-edad tulad ko. Minsan naroon din ang panghihinayang at pagiging-guilty na kung bakit nga ba hindi tayo nagsasama-sama habang malakas at buhay pa mga yumaong mahal natin sa buhay?

Pero ang nakakatawa sa ganitong mga usapan ay ang katotohanan na pagkaraan ng ilang buwan o taon, magkikita-kita muli tayo pa ring magkakamag-anak at magkakaibigan sa susunod na lamayan nang hindi pa rin nagkasama-sama habang mga buhay pa!

Ano nangyari? Hindi na nga ba tayo natuto sa aral ng mga naunang yumao, na magsama-sama habang buhay at malakas?

Sa aking palagay ay hindi naman sa hindi na tayo natuto kungdi ang totoo, higit pa ring mainam ang magkita-kita sa lamayan kesa saan pa mang pagtitipon dahil sa ilang mas malalim na kadahilanan.

“Kaunting panahon na lamang at hindi na ako makikita ng sanlibutan. Ngunit ako’y makikita ninyo; sapagkat mabubuhay ako, at mabubuhay rin kayo. Malalaman ninyo sa araw na yaon na ako’y sumasa-Ama, kayo’y sumasaakin, at ako’y sumasainyo.”
Juan 14:19-20

Una, sa ating pakikiramay buhay ang pinararangalan at hindi ang kamatayan. Nakikiramay tayo upang ipagdiwang mabuting pamumuhay at magandang pakikisama ng yumao. Wika nga sa amin sa Bulacan, ang lamay lang ang hindi ipinag-iimbita. Ito ang sukatan ng kabutihan ng isang tao na siya ay parangalan hanggang magkapuyatan. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit paulit-ulit sinabi ni Jesus sa kanyang mga alagad na maging handa palagi dahil hindi natin alam ang oras ng ating pagpanaw. Alalaong-baga, mamuhay tayo sa kabutihan.

Isa sa mga paborito kong pelikula ay ang The Last Samurai ni Tom Cruise. Sa huling bahagi ng pelikula bago siya bumalik ng Amerika, namaalam siya sa batang emperador ng Hapon na nagsabi sa kanya, “Tell me how did my samurai die.” Sumagot si Tom Cruise, “I will not tell you how he died but I will tell you how he lived.”

Kaya nga sa lamayan hindi naman pinag-uusapan kung ano at paanong namatay kungdi paanong namuhay ang mahal nating pumanaw. Narito ang malaking kaibahan ng mga pagtitipon ng buhay gaya ng mga handaan at party na nauuwi lamang sa kainan, inuman, at tawanan o kantahan hanggang magkalasingan at di matunawan sa kabusugan. Minsan nauuwi pa sa away mga ito.

Ang ibig ko lang sabihin ay ito: sa patay mayroon ding kainan at inuman kung minsan pero iba ang lalim ng usapan at kuwentuhan. Lalong higit ng pagsasalo-salo – walang nagbabalot! – kasi iba ang level ng pagtitipon sa lamayan. Mayroong rubdob. Nahirapan lang ako sa isang bagay na sadyang makabago at hirap pa rin akong tanggapin. Ang pagpapakuha ng litrato sa mga lamayan. Mula pagkabata kasi aking nagisnan ay seryoso ang lamayan at dahil noon ay wala pang mga camera phone kaya asiwa ako na pumorma o mag-pose sabay ngiti kasama mga naulila sa tabi ng mga labi ng giliw na pumanaw. Maliban doon, ito ang unang kagandahan at biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay – ito ay pagdiriwang ng buhay hindi ng kamatayan.

Ikalawang biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay sa patay ay ang pagpapahayag ng patuloy nating pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga sa ating ugnayan hindi lamang sa pumanaw kungdi pati sa kanyang mga naulila. Hindi lamang tayo nakikibahagi sa kanilang dalamhati na siyang kahulugan ng pakikiramay o pagdamay, kungdi higit sa lahat ay ang ating pagtitiyak sa kanila na kahit wala na ang giliw nating pumanaw, nananatili pa rin tayong kamag-anak at kaibigan.

Pinakamasakit na bahagi ng pagmamahal ang paghihiwalay, pansamantala man o pang-magpakailanman tulad ng kamatayan. Isa itong katotohanang ating naranasang lahat dahil walang permanente sa buhay na ito. Darating at darating ang sandali na tayo ay mahihiwalay sa ating minamahal kapag ang mga anak ay nagsipag-kolehiyo o kapag sila ay nagsipag-asawa upang bumuo ng sariling pamilya. At ang pinaka-masakit sa lahat ng paghihiwalay, ang pagpanaw ng mahal sa buhay.

Gayon pa man, naroon sa kamatayan ang pinakamatinding hamon ng pagmamahal na ating ipinahahayag at ipinadarama sa pakikiramay. Alalaong-baga kapag tayo pumupunta sa lamayan, ating pinagtitibay sa kanilang naulila ang ating ugnayan, na tayo ay magkakamag-anak pa rin, magkakaibigan pa rin. Kahit mawala ang isang kamag-anak o pamilya at kaibigan, hindi mawawala ating ugnayan. Sama-sama pa rin tayo hanggang sa kabilang buhay kung saan magiging ganap at lubos ating mga ugnayan sa Diyos kay Kristo Jesus.

Kitang-kita ang ugnayang ito na hindi kayang putulin ng kamatayan sa paraan ng ating pagpapaalam. Walang nagsasabing “aalis na ako” o “lalayas na ako” maliban kung siya ay galit. Kapag tayo nagpapaalam saan man, ating sinasabi palagi ay “mauuna na po ako” gayong wala namang susunod sa ating pag-alis. Atin ding sinasabi bilang pamamaalam ang “tutuloy na po ako” e lumalabas nga ang isang nagpapaalam paanong tutuloy?!

Ang mga ito ay tanda ng pagtimo sa ating katauhan ng katotohanan ng kamatayan at buhay na walang hanggan. Sinasabi nating mauuna na ako dahil batid natin lahat ang katotohanan na una-una lang sa kamatayan. Gayon din ang pagsasabi ng tutuloy na ako tuwing nagpapaalam kasi isa lang ating hahantungang lahat, ang buhay na walang hanggan sa piling ng Diyos sa kalangitan.

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Bolinao, Pangasinan, 19 Abril 2022.*

Kaya hindi rin kataka-taka minsan kung kailan pumanaw at nawala na ang isang mahal sa buhay saka lumalalim ating ugnayan. Iyan ang ikatlong biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay, ang pananatili ng pag-ibig. Higit nating nadarama lalim ng ating pagmamahal kanino man kapag siya ay pumanaw na. Ito yung hiwaga ng aral ni Jesus sa bundok, “Mapapalad ang mga nahahapis, sapagkat aaliwin sila ng Diyos” (Mt.5:4).

Mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil una, sila ay nagmamahal. Sabi ni San Agustin, kaya tayo umiiyak kapag namatay ang isang mahal sa buhay kasi tayo ay nagmamahal. Masakit ang mawalan at hindi na makita ang isang minamahal.

Higit sa lahat, mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil silay ay minahal. Iyon ang pinaka-masakit sa pagmamahal. Matapos maranasan ikaw ay mahalin, saka naman siya mawawala sa piling. Ngunit iyon din ang pagpapala. Kaya masakit mamamatayn kasi nga tayo ay minahal. Sabi ng isang makata, “kung ikaw ay mayroong pagmamahal, ikaw ay pinagpala; kung ikaw ay minahal, ikaw ay hinipo ng Diyos.” Tuwing tayo ay nakikiramay, naglalamay, ating ipinahahayag ating pagmamahal gayun din ang biyaya na tayo ay minahal ng pumanaw.

Tama si San Pablo na sa kahuli-hulihan, lahat ay maglalaho at tanging pag-ibig lang ang mananatili (1Cor. 13:13). Gayon din ang inawit ni Bb. Cookie Chua sa Paglisan.

Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan
Itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan
At sa iyong paglisan, ang tanging pabaon ko
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig

Manatili sa pag-ibig ni Kristo! Amen. Salamuch po.

Roots

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 10 April 2023
A photo-reflection of our rootedness in God while at the Sacred Heart Novitiate last March 20-22, 2023.

In the lush rolling hills of Novaliches
that is now fast disappearing are
23 hectares of pastureland and mini forests 
inside the Sacred Heart Novitiate
of the Society of Jesus.

Thank God it had opened
anew its doors to retreatants like me
wishing to have a "vacare Deo"
or vacation in the Lord.

A retreat
or a vacare Deo
is a return to our roots,
God.

While preparing for the formal
start of my retreat last March 20,
I felt the roots of the many trees
speaking to me
 in this Bethel of mine
where like Jacob in
Genesis 28:10-19,
I met God.
Sometimes,
I wrestled with Him
like Jacob too
in Peniel/Penuel
(Gen. 32:23-33).

How interesting
the words "true" and "truth"
along with its cousin "trust"
came from the old English
"treowe"
for tree.

According to experts,
the Anglo-Saxons worshipped trees
they called "treowe"
because they evoked firmness
and solidness;
the more rooted is the tree,
the more firm does it stand.
Like truth.

Whatever that is true, firmly standing
like a tree or treowe always has extensive 
network of roots, creating linkages
and interconnections from which came
that image of the 
"family tree".

When there are interconnections,
linkages,
there are relationships.
People with the most
wonderful relationships
are also the truthful ones
because they are trustworthy.
Reliable.
Like God.
Our root.
Our rootedness
who connects us with
everyone.

When we are rooted
and grounded in God,
nothing can ever disturb us
like a big, big, tree.
We can withstand all storm,
bear the sun's heat
remaining firm
and aglow
 with God's majesty
in daytime and in darkness.

Lovelier than the tree,
thank God
for creating me.
Hallelujah!

A model disciple, a beloved disciple

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 03 April 2023

*Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.*

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.
John 19:25-27

What a lovely scene we have at the foot of the Cross with our Lord Jesus Christ during His final moments, His Mother Mary, our “model disciple” and John, His “beloved disciple”. Both disciples standing for us all, Mary signifying the Mother Church, the Body of Christ, with us her children, each a beloved disciple of the Lord.

These words spoken by Jesus as He hung upon the Cross continue to be fulfilled in our own days in many concrete ways. These words are constantly repeated to both Mother and disciple, and each one of us today are called to relive them in our own life.

Every day we the disciples are called to take Mary as an individual and as the Church into our own home to carry out the Lord’s instructions by imitating her as a companion in the mission. Mary is actually the first disciple of the Lord because she was the first to welcome and receive Him at the Annunciation of His birth. Mary is also the first to truly believe in Jesus Christ when she “immediately” told Him how the newly-wed couple at Cana had ran out of wine. At the foot of the Cross, Mary is the first to remain in Christ, teaching us the most important aspect of discipleship which is intimacy in Jesus and with Jesus in prayer.

While preparing for this series, I wondered what was Mary really doing at the foot of the Cross of Jesus Christ? What were the thoughts running through her mind? What were the feelings and emotions forming, massing in her heart?

Notice the dignity of Mary in the face of extreme sorrow and suffering. She was standing firm, not seated, freaking out like crazy at the sight of her crucified Son. More than the tears and sorrow on her face as portrayed in arts, one can see this dignity of a woman and a disciples so absorbed in prayer, so united and close to Jesus our Lord!

How sad that many of us have forgotten this crucial aspect of discipleship Mary had shown us not only there at the Cross but from the very beginning until called to give birth to our Savior – a life centered on prayer which is more than reciting prayers but residing, dwelling, and communing in Jesus Christ.

Let us learn to be like Mary, to truly take her like the disciple whom Jesus loved by being intimate with Jesus and the Father in prayers. Keep in mind that her standing there at the foot of the Cross did not simply happen at the spur of the moment but a result, a fruit of her long periods of time spent in prayers, of communing with Jesus and in Jesus as the Mysteries of Light try to show us. Unlike most of us, we come only to Jesus at the Cross when we are in trials and difficulties but when everything is going on smoothly in life, we hardly prayed at all.

All her life, Mary lived in prayer. At the Pentecost, Mary was praying with the Lord’s disciples at the Upper Room in Jerusalem awaiting the coming of the Holy Spirit. Mary is the most beautiful reminder next to Jesus that discipleship is essentially prayer, that whatever we do is borne out of prayer.

Let us pray with the Blessed Mother Mary:

Our Lady of Sorrows,
pray for us your children,
especially your priests
who are supposed to be 
the Lord's beloved disciples
to immerse ourselves in prayer
above all
because before all else came,
there was Jesus Christ who came first
calling us, sending us on a mission
to proclaim His Good News 
of salvation to everyone.
Amen.

*“Mater Dolorosa” also known as “Blue Madonna” (1616) by Carlo Dolci. Photo from Wikimedia Commons.*

On turning 58

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 March 2023

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, 20 March 2023, Novaliches, QC.*

Thank you for your birthday greetings. I have been on a silent retreat since Monday until Wednesday, my 58th birthday, at the Jesuits’ Sacred Heart Novitiate (SHN) in Quezon City. I usually go on retreats in June when my loads were lighter, when I feel so tired and exhausted, even burned out. Or when I have to make a major decision that I have to discern well.

For the first time, I went on this personal retreat not out of dire needs or even expediencies except that I miss God so much. This is the first time I went on a retreat without problems or issues to resolve. Most of all, without any complaints to God as I told my spiritual director, Fr. Danny Gozar, one of the Jesuits who facilitated our 30-Day Retreat in Cebu in 1995.

Sharing with you some of God’s consolations to me since Monday.

*Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.*

It was the feast of St. Joseph last Monday because March 19 fell on the Fourth Sunday in Lent. Right away, God consoled me upon arrival here when the daily Mass was starting. The priest, the Australian novice master of the Jesuits said in his homily that St. Joseph’s mission to give the name “Jesus” to the Child to be born by the Blessed Virgin Mary is also our first task in life which is to witness that “God saves” which is the meaning of the name “Jesus”.

That is when I realized the silence of St. Joseph which is not just being quiet by shutting out all the noise; silence is fulness, trying to listen and discern the sounds within, the sounds that speak of love and kindness, of mercy and forgiveness, of the voice of God also the softest and faintest, telling us to trust him alone and not be bothered with what would happen next.

To be silent like St. Joseph is ultimately to be silent like Jesus on the Cross, wholly trusting the Father, loving us until the end.

After lunch, I caught sight of the beautiful statue of Our Lady of Banneux (Our Lady of the Poor) at the side garden. It is one of my favorite prayer spots in this 23-hectare spirituality center in Quezon City. It was a nice spot to think of the many things I am thankful for since 2020 in preparation for my actual prayer blocks later that afternoon. And I had so many things to thank God since the pandemic started. First is the gift of life, that I have survived COVID-19!

The beauty of prayer is how it opens us to so many things about us we were totally unaware of like the gifts God has given us, the blessings he has showered us, the immense love he has for us. I discovered 20 things to be thankful for which I never thought I had and had never even thanked God for them!

That is the giftedness also of the Blessed Virgin Mary as she sang her Magnificat that while all generations shall call her blessed, she remains God’s lowly handmaid (Lk.1:48), remaining poor, an anawim who relies only in the Lord.

Being poor like Mary is being simple and empty for God. May we always be poor in need of God!

Fr. Danny directed me to just pray that afternoon until evening Psalm 139:1-18, asking for the specific grace of Mystery, of God himself. And God answered me! I felt his presence and generally, there was the feeling of joy within as I prayed before the Blessed Sacrament.

“You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret…
Psalm 139:13-15

God confirmed my earlier reflections, the things I am thankful to him since 2020.

God designed me personally, he had a purpose in creating me and creating me this way which for so long I have not totally appreciated and liked, wishing I were somebody else, or endowed with so many other talents I so admire in others.

God made each of us so specially, not mass-produced.

He made us so well, almost perfect to reflect his glory. And along this is the need to take care of ourselves.

How can I be a sign of God's glory and majesty even though I am sinner?

After supper, I felt longing for God that I went back to the chapel for another hour of prayer. I was a bit distracted, even restless at the start. Indeed, the most difficult prayer is always the most meritorious as I felt a deep intensity in the following passage:

Lord, you have probed me, you know me; you understand my thoughts from afar. My travels and my rest you mark; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, Lord, you know it all.
Psalm 139:1, 2-4

God knows everything about us! There is no hiding from him. But, even if he knows us so well, he does not impose himself on us. Many times, God allows us to open up to him in our own time. Not just in his time. Like when we go astray, when we turn away from him in sins.

"you understand my thoughts from afar."

Even if I am far from God in sin, he still loves me, he still relates with me, understanding me. Waiting for me. Because he knows too that even if we sin, we still long for him. No one among us is happy being in sin. God knows that we know he is our life, that we cannot stay far from him for long.

"My travels and my rest you mark."

Where are you leading me, Lord? Sometimes I wonder if I am the one following God or is it God following me, watching over me that I always find my way back to him?

I have realized in almost 25 years being a priest, priesthood is more of a direction than a destination. From the school in Malolos to UST and UP for sometime then to Radio Veritas and nine years in a parish, now I am a chaplain in a big university with six campuses and two hospitals. Really, we were not prepared for this, especially myself! But, you are always there, God, leading me, always surprising me that even if you ask me to go anywhere else, I would go even if I have to learn a new language or whatever.

Here I found one thing I have always been remiss with – the need for me to rest in the Lord. To stop like this retreat not only when I have problems or overburdened.

At the end of my first day, my main realizations were -in Filipino as they dawned on me – were, first,

"Mahal na mahal ako ng Diyos.
Hindi lang basta mahal.
Kungdi mahal na mahal."

Secondly, as I prepared to sleep that night with all the lights out, I realized

"Mas nakakatakot maniwala sa Diyos
kesa sa multo kase
ang Diyos ay totoo,
ang multo ay hindi totoo!"

Thank you for your bearing with me. May God touch you, bless you, and heal you! Amen.

Deaths in Lent

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 27 February 2023

Lent is my favorite season in our Church calendar: partly because of my melancholic tendencies and mostly, its closeness with the realities of life, of its daily “passovers” and exodus that eventually lead to Easter. That is why for me, life is a daily lent.

This became truest to me yesterday afternoon, the First Sunday of Lent when one of our elderly priests, Msgr. Vicente “Teng” Manlapig died past 3:00 PM at the Fatima University Medical Center in Valenzuela City where I serve as chaplain.

I am still in the process of gathering the many insights and realizations I have had these past three weeks when Mons. Teng was confined with the final five days in the ICU. What is so remarkable for me which dawned upon me yesterday is the fact that Mons. Teng is the second priest I had taken cared and died in the season of Lent. The first was the late Msgr. Macario Manahan in March 16, 2014, the Second Sunday of Lent at that time.

Yes, another monsignor I took care and died in the season of Lent. I was then assigned in San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista Parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan when Mons Macario retired in an apartment with his adopted family in the next barrio to my parish. Like Mons. Teng, I gave him daily communion and anointing of the sick during his final stretch of about two or three weeks before death. The only difference is that Mons. Macario passed away in my presence that Sunday afternoon; I visited Mons. Teng Sunday morning before he expired in the afternoon.

I have been wondering what must be God’s message for me in making me directly involved with two elderly priests dying in the season of Lent.

It seems to me for now that Lent is the best time for us priests to die because it leads to Easter. It would be a great extra bonus perhaps for us priests to die on Easter Sunday like the Jesuit Father Teilhard de Chardin or on Divine Mercy Sunday of the Easter Octave like the great St. John Paul II or at New Year’s eve like Pope Benedict XVI recently.

In my 24 years in priesthood, I have found our life, and death, follow a certain pattern. That is another topic I intend to develop further but for the moment, here is God showing me a pattern in priestly deaths in Lent which is the season characterized by prayer, fasting, alms-giving and penance.

Thursday night, Mons. Teng he asked to me listen to his “story” which turned out to be a confession, his final one. And what a tremendous grace from God for it was a triumph against his final temptations by the devil. How wonderful that he died yesterday, the First Sunday of Lent when the gospel from Matthew was the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness. The hospital ICU is the modern wilderness of temptations where there is the macabre atmosphere of gloom and dead-seriousness, cold and lifeless with just the eerie beeps and whirring or humming of various machines accompanying patients in separate cubicles along with doctors and nurses garbed in overalls and masks like in those movie scenes of invasion by aliens or zombies.

I must confess that after witnessing another death of a senior priest this season of Lent with my ministry this past year being in the hospital, I actually feel more afraid than ever of getting old, of getting sick.

It seems to me for now 
that Lent is the best time for us priests 
to die because it leads to Easter.

I cannot say I am ready. No. The more I see myself afraid and so unprepared. It would be a big lie no fool would ever believe to claim I am ready to get sick and die. And even if I felt so tired and sleepy watching over Mons. Teng these past weeks, I could not pray in silence to God and ask him that he spare me those sufferings. Yes, the sense of entitlement crossed my mind many times like the thought “siguro naman, pwede na ako ma exempt, Lord” but no! I could not ask God. I feel so ashamed. It felt so bad on the taste-buds. Whenever such thoughts crossed my mind, there was always something or someone inside me preventing me from asking God for that privilege. Or grace? Because our suffering in sickness is precisely the very gift and grace of being one with Jesus Christ in the wilderness, fighting the devil’s temptations.

The gospel said it so well yesterday that after Jesus triumphed over his temptations, “the devil left him and, behold, angels came and ministered to him” (Mt.4:11). See that it was Thursday when I heard Mons. Teng’s final confession, Friday night was the last time he received the viaticum because Saturday morning he could no longer speak, could not eat that I had to consent into the insertion of an NGT for his feeding Saturday night until he slowly deteriorated Sunday morning after I had anointed him again with oil and died around the hour of the great Mercy of God at 3PM.

The same thing is true with Mons. Macario. For about two weeks, I would rush to his apartment mostly at night and midnight to anoint him, pray for him, and give him the viaticum. Once I even celebrated Mass for a peaceful death around midnight when we thought he was about to expire which eventually came a few days after he had met and presumably reconciled with a family member. It was the Second Sunday of Lent, March 16, 2014 when he died. The gospel was the Transfiguration of Jesus. If there is anyone who would truly experience the Cross of Christ on the way to transfiguration, it is surely us, his priests.

A few years ago a friend commented to me that he thought priests were exempted from sickness and other sufferings. He could not believe that we priests get cancer, suffer stroke and other debilitating sickness. In fact, I told him that suffering is our life. One of the priests with tremendous impact on me was our formator in high school seminary, Rev. Fr. Leopoldo Nazareno we called “Fr. Naz” who spent maybe 40 years of his life with Parkinson’s disease that was so rare at that time in the 80’s.

Am I afraid of getting sick, of dying? Yes. Very much! But, what can I do? Like Jesus in the the garden of Gethsemane, even if I pray that God would take away this cup, it is still his will not mine.

Maybe for a good reason, to suffer unto death is the ultimate gift of priesthood. Even in old age for us priests, there is still the essence of victimhood, of offering. It is when out deathbed becomes our eucharistic table and altar where we finally offer ourselves to God in union with Jesus our Eternal High Priest, no longer the bread and wine because we could not celebrate the Mass nor even receive Holy Communion. It would be very sad for a priest to die not a martyr, a witness of Christ on the Cross, loved and forgiven like the “good thief”.

That is what I have seen in these two deaths of priests in the season of Lent: the immense and immeasurable mercy and love of God for us all, especially us priests. Yes, we are sinners, even more miserable than others. But, still loved and forgiven by God. May we strive more to be holy priests, thinking more of the people than ourselves. Pray for us your priests, and help us fix our eyes unto God more clearly through you, the people, the sheep of his flock. May we your priests find that life is a daily Lent, a daily passover, a daily carrying of the Cross and Crucifixion in Christ that leads to Easter. Amen.

Paloob ang Kuwaresma, hindi palabas

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-22 ng Pebrero 2023

Paloob ang Kuwaresma
hindi palabas.
Katulad nitong ating buhay
na papaloob at hindi palabas.
Pagmasdan mga tanda
at kilos nitong panahon
habang Panginoon ang tinutunton
hinuhubad ating kapalaluan
upang bihisan ng kababaan,
sinasaid ating kalabisan
upang punan ng Kanyang 
buhay at kabanalan.

Paloob ang Kuwaresma,
hindi palabas.
Simula ay Miercules de Ceniza 
mga noo'y pinapahiran ng
abong binasbasan
paalala ng kamatayan
tungo sa buhay na walang-hanggan
kaya kinakailangan 
taos-pusong pag-amin 
at pagsuko ng mga kasalanan
talikuran at labanan 
gawi ng kasamaan.

Paloob ang Kuwaresma
hindi palabas.
Huwag magpapansin
tuwing mananalangin
hayaan saloobin at hiling
isalamin ng buhay natin;
pag-aayuno ay higit pa sa
di pagkain ng karne
kungdi mawalan ng laman
ating tiyan, magkapuwang
sa Diyos at sino mang 
nagugutom at nahihirapan;
ano mang kaluguran ating
maipagpaliban ay ilalaan
sa nangangailangan
buong katahimikan maglimos
tanda ng kaisahan
kay Hesus nasa mukha
ng mga dukha
at kapus-palad.

Paloob ang Kuwaresma
hindi palabas.
Sa gitna nitong panahon
ng social media na lahat
ay ipinakikita at ibig makita,
lahat ay pabongga
puro palabas;
ipinapaalala ng Kuwaresma
ang mga pinakamahalaga
pinakamaganda
at makabuluhan
ay hindi nakikita
nitong mga mata
bagkus ay nadarama
dahil sa paningin ng Diyos
ang tunay na mahalaga
ay yaong natatago,
napapaloob katulad Niya
na nananahan
sa ating puso at kalooban.

Christmas is “manifesting” Christ

The Lord Is My Chef Christmas Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord, 08 January 2023
Isaiah 60:1-6 ><}}}}*> Ephesians 3:2-3, 5-6 ><}}}}*> Matthew 2:1-12

Still, a blessed Christmas to everyone! As I have been telling you, let us continue greeting one another with a Merry Christmas for it is still the Christmas Season. Forget those happy new year greetings. Insist on Merry Christmas especially today when our celebration reminds us that Christmas is manifesting, showing Jesus Christ!

In fact, our celebration today is a high point of Christmas – even the Christmas in some parts of Europe, the US and even the Philippines. As a result, so much focus have been given on the magi that we forget the very essence of Epiphany is Jesus Christ – not the names of the magi nor their gifts nor their number.

From the Greek word epiphanes that means “manifestation”, the Epiphany of the Lord celebrates the discovery of Jesus by the foreigners known as magi from the East, learned men who were seeking the truth. In discovering Jesus, he was made known to all the world as the Savior and the King of Kings.

It is very interesting that what we have we heard proclaimed in the gospel today is the first conversation ever recorded by Matthew in his account that was uttered by the magi searching for Jesus:

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, in the days of King Herod, behold, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage.”
Matthew 2:1-2

That spoken question by the magi which stirred the whole of Jerusalem and bothered even King Herod – “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? – is a theme that resonates throughout Matthew’s gospel because in the Jewish thought, God is their only king. King for them is more than a political ruler but a manifestation or reflection of the face of God who alone is the king of the universe.

Matthew is teaching us something very important in recording the first conversation spoken in his gospel account was by the magi asking “where is the newborn king of the Jews” to remind us that every day, it is Jesus Christ whom we must seek first in our lives, in our prayers, especially in the scriptures.

Upon waking up in the morning, what is the very first thing you do – check on your cellphone for messages? turn on the radio or TV or laptop? What or who do you look for first thing in the morning? Do you at least light a candle on a little altar in your room to pray the Morning Offering or meditate on the scriptures of the day?

The person(s) or things that we immediately focus upon waking up indicate very much the persons or things that rule us daily. See how the magi from the east were seriously seeking Jesus Christ by daring to ask even King Herod about the newborn king of the Jews! Don’t you find that funny considering that the magi were regarded as men of wisdom but dared to inquire and trouble Herod with that question? Were they insulting Herod?

Definitely not. They were just sincerely searching for the true King of all!

That is the essential point in Matthew’s telling us of the magi searching for Jesus: the experts of Jerusalem knew where their newborn king was born based on the scriptures but they never bothered to look for him! Many times we are guilty like them when God is just in our head as an idea or a concept but not a reality in our life.

Next to assiduously seeking Christ, I love to reflect on that aspect of these wise men asking (with sarcasm?) King Herod where is the newborn king of the Jews: the magi must have noticed and felt King Herod was not a true king after all in the Jewish thought and tradition. They must have heard and personally proven upon meeting him that he was indeed ruthless and evil when he ordered the massacre of all boys two years old and below in Bethlehem and vicinity after they have left by going through a different route.

See how Matthew as well as the other gospel writers showed in their accounts the kindness and goodness of Jesus in healing the sick, forgiving the sinners, teaching and guiding the people who were so lost. When we pray the gospel accounts, what we find and experience is the immense love and mercy of God through Jesus Christ. He is rightly called the face of the unseen God – so gentle, so loving, so humble, so merciful. Because of Jesus, we were able to have a glimpse and experience of the great love of this God Jesus taught us to call as Father. That is why at his crucifixion we saw Jesus hailed as truly the “King of the Jews, truly the Son of God” (Mt. 27:37, 54) because he manifested God’s love and holiness, compassion and mercy, kindness and care.

This is the essence of the Epiphany. It was not just the discovery of Jesus by the magi nor his manifestation to all the nations but most of all, the making known of God’s goodness when like the magi who “departed for their country by another way” (Mt.2:12), we change our ways to become icons of Jesus Christ.

Don’t worry; it is a lifelong process. The magi saw Jesus as a child, not as an infant anymore because of their long journey. What matters is that like them, we never stop persevering in following and manifesting Jesus in our lives.

Perhaps this Sunday, we must examine ourselves in the way we deal with other people especially in our family and in our office or school, especially in our parish and community: do we reflect the Kingship of Jesus Christ or that of the world like Herod in our lives?

This Solemnity of the Epiphany is inviting us not just to seek Christ our King but most of all, to manifest Christ’s Kingship based on loving service to others. That is the best gift we can offer Jesus, our very gift of selves just like him. Let us pray:

Dearest Lord Jesus Christ:
let me search you always in my life,
in my prayers,
among the people I meet,
in the Sacraments;
most of all, 
let me manifest you Jesus
not only my words and thoughts
but most of all in my daily living,
in my actions
of loving service to others
especially the sick and lowly,
the marginalized and misunderstood;
let me be your light, O Lord,
to guide people in darkness of sin
and ignorance and indifference;
most of all, let me reveal like St. Paul
your mystery of love and salvation
to the many among us who have turned
away from you,
seeking to follow and imitate
King Herod in his ruthless ways
of control and too much pride.
Amen.

Imitating, praying with Mary in 2023

The Lord Is My Chef Christmas Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, Eighth Day in the Octave of Christmas, 01 January 2023
Numbers 6:22-27 ><}}}}*> Galatians 4:4-7 ><}}}}*> Luke 2:16-21

A blessed Merry Christmas everyone! Our Mass on this first day of 2023 is not for the new year but in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary as Mother of God because her Son Jesus Christ is true God and true Man. Of all human beings, she is therefore the best model for us to follow in welcoming every new year.

First thing we notice with Mary is her prayerful silence at the birth of Jesus Christ, the very new year in humanity when henceforth, time is reckoned in relation with his birth that is why we have those initials BC for “Before Christ” and AD for “Anno Domini” or “Year of the Lord”.

The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.
Luke 2:16-19

I come from the town of Bocaue in Bulacan known as the “fireworks capital” of the Philippines and I have never liked our manner of ushering every new year with a bang. Even the Chinese are ashamed at how we overdo our fireworks and firecrackers during the new year. What I hate most are the human lives lost every year because of pyrotechnics.

Life always begins in silence. Destruction comes in loud noises just like what we do every new year with fireworks and firecrackers. It is Jesus Christ who drives out the evil spirits from our lives and the world since he came to the world more than 2000 years ago and here we are, calling all the evil spirits back!

In my former parish, we used to have a Holy Hour after our Mass of the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God in the evening of December 31. Like Mary, we pray in silence to Jesus to thank him for all that have happened the past year, for everything, whether good or bad.

Let Jesus come and dwell in our hearts tonight and tomorrow. Pray with your family and loved ones. Pray by yourself.

Secondly, like Mary, let us treasure all our memories of the past year in our hearts, both the good and the bad ones especially the people who have touched us and hurt us too.

Silence is the door through which God enters our heart and soul, enabling us to have that meaningful awareness of Jesus in us and among us, helping us to see the larger picture of life with its many realities. One of my favorite writers, T.S. Eliot wrote in his very long Four Quartets that “tragedy occurs when we have the experience but miss the meaning”. Very true!

Most of all, it is in silence where we grow deeper in faith, hope and love of God because silence is the domain of trust. That is why saints and monks and every holy person of high level of spirituality are lovers of silence. Silent people are the most trusting ones to God and to others.

I have been dwelling this week on that scene when the shepherds came with all their noises and talks while Mary sat in silence along with St. Joseph, the patron saint of silence.

What was Mary thinking or praying? Was she asking for a better year in their lives after all the trials and difficulties she and Joseph have in having Jesus?

I don’t think she prayed for a better year ahead like many of us wishing in Facebook that 2023 would be better.

If we have Jesus Christ in us like Mary, every year, every day is always the best. If I may say so, every today becomes the least joyous days of our lives in Christ. Read and pray the gospel to see how the lives of Mary and all the other disciples went through the most wonderful and spectacular experiences in having Jesus.

Like Mary after giving birth to Jesus, she never prayed nor wished for a better year despite her being the Mother of God because nothing is better than living each day in Christ our Savior.

It is useless and futile to get all those lucky charms nor consult fortune tellers on what is in store for us this 2023. Mary knew nothing at all what was in store for her in giving birth to Jesus, much less in following him as his foremost disciple. All she was certain at that time time was the name to be given to her child, Jesus that means “God is my savior”.

Jesus is still and will always be our only certainty in life – day in, day out in every year. Let us not lose Jesus. Like Mary, let us treasure him in our hearts where he dwells. Let us pray with Mary:

Lord Jesus Christ,
on this passing of 2022
as 2023 comes, make me silent
in you, trusting you like your Mother
and our Mother too, 
the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Thank you for everything; 
despite the many disappointments
and failures, trials and sufferings, 
hurts and pains amidst the more 
joys and laughters I have had from
people you have given me this 2022,
teach me to trust you more that everything
in the past year indicates more better days are ahead!
I pray only for one thing this new year
as your disciple, Lord:
like Mary, let me love and trust you more,
never let me leave you,
keep me at your side even 
at your Cross.  Amen.

Advent is for soul-searching

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday in the Third Week of Advent, 15 December 2022
Isaiah 54:1-10 ><}}}*> + ><}}}*> + ><}}}*> Luke 7:24-30

Your questions today, O Lord Jesus,
are so disturbing, touching us to our very core:
"What did you go out to the desert to see ---
a reed swayed by the wind?
Then what did you go out to see?
Someone dressed in fine garments?
Then what did you go out to see?
A prophet?" (Luke 7:24, 25, 26)

What do we want to see this Christmas?
What are we expecting?
What aspect of life are we more
concerned with, the material or the spiritual?

Maybe, it is also about time
to examine ourselves and ask,
what do people see in us?
What do they expect from us,
especially us who are supposed to be
prayerful and religious?

I wonder, O Lord, when people see us,
will they rejoice like what Isaiah spoke of
in the first reading?
Do I reflect your presence,
your healing,
your salvation?

Lord Jesus,
empty me of my sins and pride,
fill me with your humility,
justice and love.
Amen.

From “dance” to “guidance”

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, 105th Year of Final Apparition at Fatima, Portugal, 13 October 2022
Ephesians 1:1-10 ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> Luke 11:27-28

Today we commemorate the 105th year of the final apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Fatima, Portugal where over 70,000 people witnessed the “Miracle of the Sun”.

It was raining the whole previous night until noon of October 13, 1917 when people made up of believers and unbelievers alike with skeptics and hecklers at the sides came to Cova Da Iria to await the Virgin Mary’s reported apparition to three young children, Lucia Santos and her two younger cousins Francisco and Jacinta Marto. The Blessed Virgin began appearing to the three children at the site on the 13th of May of that year and had promised to appear for the sixth and final time on that October 13, promising a great miracle to everyone. By noon, she finally appeared to the three children and after conversing with them, the sun “danced” or zigzagged the sky emitting radiant colors before careening down to Earth.

*Page from *Ilustração Portuguesa,* 29 October 1917, showing the people looking at the Sun during the Fátima apparitions attributed to the Virgin Mary. From en.wikipedia.org.*

Many people cried in fear, begging for mercy as the spectacular occurrence seemed like the end of the world that nothing of such kind was ever experienced nor recorded in history.

The dancing of the sun lasted for about ten minutes before it stood still, shining brightly with warmth that dried the people and nature soaked in rain the night before until that noon.

From then on, devotion to Our Lady of Fatima grew and spread worldwide until the Church recognized the apparition as authentic so that even its official feast was set on May 13, devotees have kept October 13 very special.

The eldest of the three children, Lucia became a Carmelite nun and provided so many useful information to later investigations and studies of the Fatima apparitions. She died on the 13th of February 2005, a few months ahead of the great St. John Paul II who had a very special devotion to Our Lady of Fatima after surviving an assassination attempt on the 13th of May 1981. Sr. Lucia’s younger cousins, as promised by the Lady to them in one of her apparitions, died earlier and have been canonized as saints recently.

Dance as expression of union

Lately I have been observing with great interest and appreciation how our young generation had been “borrowing” the music we grew up with from the 70’s to the 80’s into new level of dance steps via TikTok that are so coool and grooovy!

From the Bee Gees’ Staying Alive to EWF’s September and Groove Tonight to Patricia Rushen’s Forget Me Nots and Puff Daddy’s spin of Sting’s Every Breath You Take, generation gaps are being bridged, even closed with these endearing dance reels in social media.

Latest video I have been watching over and over these past two weeks is by a group of young Asians dancing to a James Brown 1973 funk song recorded by Fred Wesley & The J.B.’s. that is so funky and spunky. So fantastic! You may catch the fever and get the funky feel in both Instagram and YouTube in the link below.

The choreography is superbly modern and contemporary with dress and colors so 70’s yet as you watch the video, you do not feel lost or alienated because you feel a sense of belonging, of oneness unlike most modern music videos.

From YouTube.com.

Dance is a non-verbal communication that expresses our relationships and social interactions as a people, as a culture and as a society which we refer to as social intercourse. At the same time, dance is, generally speaking in the animal kingdom which includes us humans, the expression of gender roles in mating process or sexual intercourse. Notice how the many dance moves in the 70’s and 80’s expressed the promiscuity wrongly promoted by the so-called sex revolution.

Of course, sex is good, sex is holy.

But, it is more than an act or a part of the body! What the sex revolution of the 70’s until now missed greatly is the fact that sex is the totality of the person. Sex was created by God to bring humans into unity, into a communion and oneness with him and with others within his plan found in the sacrament of marriage. Not just according to human plans like same sex marriage nor union.

That noble union is the deeper meaning of a dance, of dancing – whether with a partner or by one’s self – it is always communicative of our higher aspirations of communion with God and others!

It is perhaps the reason why the sun “danced” on October 13, 1917 – it was God’s longstanding invitation for us mankind to dance with him, to follow his steps as taught to us by his Son Jesus Christ repeated by the Blessed Virgin Mary at Fatima. Notice how in our second reading, it was also the message of St. Paul to us through the Ephesians.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him. In love he destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ…
Ephesians 1:2-5

*Photo from vaticannews.va, 13 May 2017.*

Guidance: God + u and i dance in life!

Like during that time of 1917 in Fatima and the whole world, life was very difficult with the First World War still raging in Europe. People could not find meaning as they found the world so chaotic like today with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, wars in various parts of the world, rising costs of living and so many other difficulties and sufferings in life.

But, like St. Paul, the Blessed Mother at Fatima reminded us of an alternative vision of the world found in Jesus Christ, of the need to renew everything in Christ who had “bestowed on us every spiritual blessing” we need in this life. Despite our sinfulness, God still “chose us in Christ to be one in him” here in this life and in eternity, offering us salvation and fulfillment when we turn away from our sins and evil ways to follow Jesus.

If we reflect deeper into the miracle of the sun in Fatima 105 years ago, the great miracle was not really the sun dancing in the sky but how did the three little children so poor without higher form of learning believed in the promise of our Lady of the Rosary, that a great miracle would happen that day?

Clearly, the three children were guided by the Blessed Mother, most especially by the Holy Spirit! It was their faith that was so outstanding that like Mary, they believed the words spoken to them would be fulfilled as our gospel today told us (Lk.11:28) which were the same words spoken by Elizabeth to Mary at the Visitation (Lk.1:45)!

When we allow ourselves to be guided by the Blessed Mother and by the Holy Spirit, miracles happen in our lives: problems and sufferings are overcome, life becomes fruitful and fulfilling in God. And that is the meaning of the word GUIDANCE:

God
U and
I
D
A
N
C
E 
in life!

May we pray to imitate the three children’s faith in Fatima – that of Sr. Lucia, St. Francisco and St. Jacinta so we may follow the GUIDANCE of Jesus Christ with his Mother the Blessed Virgin Mary as we dance our ways into the many difficulties of this life like in 1917. May we dance with Jesus and Mary in prayers and faith, hope and love. Amen. Have a blessed Thursday!