Pakikiramay at paglalamay bilang pagpapala

Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-24 ng Mayo 2023

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Jesuit Cemetery sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 Marso 2023.*

Bago pa man ako naging pari ay madalas ko nang naririnig ang tanong ng karamihan na bakit nga ba tayo nagkikita-kita lamang kung mayroong namamatay? Bakit nga ba hindi tayo magkita-kita ng madalas habang buhay pa upang ipahayag ating pagmamahal sa kaibigan o kamag-anak kesa yung sila ay patay na?

Bakas sa mga katanungang ito ang malungkot na katotohanan ng buhay lalo na sa mga nagkaka-edad tulad ko. Minsan naroon din ang panghihinayang at pagiging-guilty na kung bakit nga ba hindi tayo nagsasama-sama habang malakas at buhay pa mga yumaong mahal natin sa buhay?

Pero ang nakakatawa sa ganitong mga usapan ay ang katotohanan na pagkaraan ng ilang buwan o taon, magkikita-kita muli tayo pa ring magkakamag-anak at magkakaibigan sa susunod na lamayan nang hindi pa rin nagkasama-sama habang mga buhay pa!

Ano nangyari? Hindi na nga ba tayo natuto sa aral ng mga naunang yumao, na magsama-sama habang buhay at malakas?

Sa aking palagay ay hindi naman sa hindi na tayo natuto kungdi ang totoo, higit pa ring mainam ang magkita-kita sa lamayan kesa saan pa mang pagtitipon dahil sa ilang mas malalim na kadahilanan.

“Kaunting panahon na lamang at hindi na ako makikita ng sanlibutan. Ngunit ako’y makikita ninyo; sapagkat mabubuhay ako, at mabubuhay rin kayo. Malalaman ninyo sa araw na yaon na ako’y sumasa-Ama, kayo’y sumasaakin, at ako’y sumasainyo.”
Juan 14:19-20

Una, sa ating pakikiramay buhay ang pinararangalan at hindi ang kamatayan. Nakikiramay tayo upang ipagdiwang mabuting pamumuhay at magandang pakikisama ng yumao. Wika nga sa amin sa Bulacan, ang lamay lang ang hindi ipinag-iimbita. Ito ang sukatan ng kabutihan ng isang tao na siya ay parangalan hanggang magkapuyatan. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit paulit-ulit sinabi ni Jesus sa kanyang mga alagad na maging handa palagi dahil hindi natin alam ang oras ng ating pagpanaw. Alalaong-baga, mamuhay tayo sa kabutihan.

Isa sa mga paborito kong pelikula ay ang The Last Samurai ni Tom Cruise. Sa huling bahagi ng pelikula bago siya bumalik ng Amerika, namaalam siya sa batang emperador ng Hapon na nagsabi sa kanya, “Tell me how did my samurai die.” Sumagot si Tom Cruise, “I will not tell you how he died but I will tell you how he lived.”

Kaya nga sa lamayan hindi naman pinag-uusapan kung ano at paanong namatay kungdi paanong namuhay ang mahal nating pumanaw. Narito ang malaking kaibahan ng mga pagtitipon ng buhay gaya ng mga handaan at party na nauuwi lamang sa kainan, inuman, at tawanan o kantahan hanggang magkalasingan at di matunawan sa kabusugan. Minsan nauuwi pa sa away mga ito.

Ang ibig ko lang sabihin ay ito: sa patay mayroon ding kainan at inuman kung minsan pero iba ang lalim ng usapan at kuwentuhan. Lalong higit ng pagsasalo-salo – walang nagbabalot! – kasi iba ang level ng pagtitipon sa lamayan. Mayroong rubdob. Nahirapan lang ako sa isang bagay na sadyang makabago at hirap pa rin akong tanggapin. Ang pagpapakuha ng litrato sa mga lamayan. Mula pagkabata kasi aking nagisnan ay seryoso ang lamayan at dahil noon ay wala pang mga camera phone kaya asiwa ako na pumorma o mag-pose sabay ngiti kasama mga naulila sa tabi ng mga labi ng giliw na pumanaw. Maliban doon, ito ang unang kagandahan at biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay – ito ay pagdiriwang ng buhay hindi ng kamatayan.

Ikalawang biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay sa patay ay ang pagpapahayag ng patuloy nating pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga sa ating ugnayan hindi lamang sa pumanaw kungdi pati sa kanyang mga naulila. Hindi lamang tayo nakikibahagi sa kanilang dalamhati na siyang kahulugan ng pakikiramay o pagdamay, kungdi higit sa lahat ay ang ating pagtitiyak sa kanila na kahit wala na ang giliw nating pumanaw, nananatili pa rin tayong kamag-anak at kaibigan.

Pinakamasakit na bahagi ng pagmamahal ang paghihiwalay, pansamantala man o pang-magpakailanman tulad ng kamatayan. Isa itong katotohanang ating naranasang lahat dahil walang permanente sa buhay na ito. Darating at darating ang sandali na tayo ay mahihiwalay sa ating minamahal kapag ang mga anak ay nagsipag-kolehiyo o kapag sila ay nagsipag-asawa upang bumuo ng sariling pamilya. At ang pinaka-masakit sa lahat ng paghihiwalay, ang pagpanaw ng mahal sa buhay.

Gayon pa man, naroon sa kamatayan ang pinakamatinding hamon ng pagmamahal na ating ipinahahayag at ipinadarama sa pakikiramay. Alalaong-baga kapag tayo pumupunta sa lamayan, ating pinagtitibay sa kanilang naulila ang ating ugnayan, na tayo ay magkakamag-anak pa rin, magkakaibigan pa rin. Kahit mawala ang isang kamag-anak o pamilya at kaibigan, hindi mawawala ating ugnayan. Sama-sama pa rin tayo hanggang sa kabilang buhay kung saan magiging ganap at lubos ating mga ugnayan sa Diyos kay Kristo Jesus.

Kitang-kita ang ugnayang ito na hindi kayang putulin ng kamatayan sa paraan ng ating pagpapaalam. Walang nagsasabing “aalis na ako” o “lalayas na ako” maliban kung siya ay galit. Kapag tayo nagpapaalam saan man, ating sinasabi palagi ay “mauuna na po ako” gayong wala namang susunod sa ating pag-alis. Atin ding sinasabi bilang pamamaalam ang “tutuloy na po ako” e lumalabas nga ang isang nagpapaalam paanong tutuloy?!

Ang mga ito ay tanda ng pagtimo sa ating katauhan ng katotohanan ng kamatayan at buhay na walang hanggan. Sinasabi nating mauuna na ako dahil batid natin lahat ang katotohanan na una-una lang sa kamatayan. Gayon din ang pagsasabi ng tutuloy na ako tuwing nagpapaalam kasi isa lang ating hahantungang lahat, ang buhay na walang hanggan sa piling ng Diyos sa kalangitan.

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Bolinao, Pangasinan, 19 Abril 2022.*

Kaya hindi rin kataka-taka minsan kung kailan pumanaw at nawala na ang isang mahal sa buhay saka lumalalim ating ugnayan. Iyan ang ikatlong biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay, ang pananatili ng pag-ibig. Higit nating nadarama lalim ng ating pagmamahal kanino man kapag siya ay pumanaw na. Ito yung hiwaga ng aral ni Jesus sa bundok, “Mapapalad ang mga nahahapis, sapagkat aaliwin sila ng Diyos” (Mt.5:4).

Mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil una, sila ay nagmamahal. Sabi ni San Agustin, kaya tayo umiiyak kapag namatay ang isang mahal sa buhay kasi tayo ay nagmamahal. Masakit ang mawalan at hindi na makita ang isang minamahal.

Higit sa lahat, mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil silay ay minahal. Iyon ang pinaka-masakit sa pagmamahal. Matapos maranasan ikaw ay mahalin, saka naman siya mawawala sa piling. Ngunit iyon din ang pagpapala. Kaya masakit mamamatayn kasi nga tayo ay minahal. Sabi ng isang makata, “kung ikaw ay mayroong pagmamahal, ikaw ay pinagpala; kung ikaw ay minahal, ikaw ay hinipo ng Diyos.” Tuwing tayo ay nakikiramay, naglalamay, ating ipinahahayag ating pagmamahal gayun din ang biyaya na tayo ay minahal ng pumanaw.

Tama si San Pablo na sa kahuli-hulihan, lahat ay maglalaho at tanging pag-ibig lang ang mananatili (1Cor. 13:13). Gayon din ang inawit ni Bb. Cookie Chua sa Paglisan.

Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan
Itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan
At sa iyong paglisan, ang tanging pabaon ko
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig

Manatili sa pag-ibig ni Kristo! Amen. Salamuch po.

The joy of Easter: Jesus comes in our weeping

*Photo by author, morning sun at Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.*

One with the Psalmist today, 
O dear Jesus Christ, 
I also proclaim that indeed
"The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord"
(Psalm 33:5)
because even in our sadness,
right in our weeping and in
our crying, 
that is where and when you come!

Jesus said to Magdalene, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.
John 20:15-16

Like Magdalene,
there are times we are overtaken
by our grief and sadness over our
many disappointments and failures,
losses and defeats like deaths 
that we could not see 
your loving presence,
your consoling comfort
O Lord Jesus Christ.

Like the listeners of Peter on that
day of Pentecost, "cut us to the heart"
(Acts 2:37), lay bare before us this
glaring truth of your Resurrection, Jesus,
of your victory over death and darkness,
over sin and sickness
that we may be more open to accept and
embrace your loving presence
with us and in us during the most
trying times of life like death of a loved one
or a sudden shift in our lives.
Amen.

*Photo by author, Jesuit Cemetery, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.*

Dying well is living well

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 07 April 2023

*Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.*

It was now about noon and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon because of an eclipse of the sun. Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle. Jesus cried our in a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”; and when he had said this he breathed his last.
Luke 23:44-46

Do you have a “bucket list”, of things to do before turning a certain age or before dying? Very often we read in social media articles of sample “bucket lists”, of things to do, things to see, food to eat before one dies as if these are the ultimate things or cities or food in the world!

I am sorry I do not believe in such “bucket list” no matter how good is that movie of the same title. It is all non-sense! Why spend so much time and energies of things to do before dying or turning 50 or 60 or whatever age when we should be making the most out of every present moment because we could die any time!

We will all die one day for sure. But, will we die well? Our death is our most wonderful and lasting gift to our loved ones if we die for them and for others, if we lived a fruitful life we can leave for them. The question we should be asking is “how do we live our lives meaningfully now in the present so that when we die, our lives would continue to bear fruit in the generations that will follow us?” Stop wondering or asking about what we can do in the future or the years we have left to live because that is highly hypothetical. It has not happened yet and might not even happen at all if we die soon enough. Get real by living fully in the present! Coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life. The moment we realize we shall die one day, that is when we start living authentically. And joyfully.

Jesus died so well on that Good Friday because he was able to surrender everything to the Father and for us all because he lived fully that is why he was able to surrender or give or commend his spirit. How about us? How sad that many times our loved ones left us with much pain and regrets because we never fully lived with them nor enjoy precious moments with them while still alive. Live fully in love and joy, forgiveness and mercy. Celebrate life daily. Life is too short to spend it in dramas and wishful thinking.

At the hour of our death like Jesus on that Good Friday, can we also give others and God our spirit of love and mercy, our spirit of joy and kindness? Or, we are still busy thinking what else we can do in this life? What if we are called back to God now, at this very moment?

Let us pray.

Lord Jesus Christ,
grant me the grace to live 
my life in you,
with you,
and through you
to the fullest in every here and now
so that if ever I should die any moment,
I am able to commend to the Father 
my spirit back to him
without regrets,
without pains,
without sin
but only with joy and gratitude
that my loved ones would 
feel and nurture
until we all meet again
in your kingdom in heaven.
Amen.

Thank you for following our reflections on the Seven Last Words of Jesus on the Cross. May you have a meaningful Holy Week and a joyful Easter! God bless you!

Lent is for delaying.

40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Fifth Sunday in Lent-A, 26 March 2023
Ezekiel 37:12-14 + Romans 8:8-11 + John 11:3-7, 17, 20-27, 33-45

*Photo by author, 22 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City.*

We conclude this Sunday the three Johannine readings during this Lenten season with the story of the raising of Lazarus from the dead. More powerful than the healing of the man born blind last Sunday, St. John shows in this raising of Lazarus who had been dead for four days that Jesus is truly the Christ, the awaited Messiah. Most of all, it is in this raising of Lazarus that Jesus also made his greatest “I AM” statement of all, “I am the resurrection and the life”.

Like the two previous long stories from St. John, let us focus on the opening paragraph of this long narrative that right away gives us a hint of something very striking, of why Jesus delayed his coming to Lazarus supposed to be his friend, someone so dear to him.

The sisters of Lazarus sent word to Jesus, saying, “Master, the one you love is ill.” When Jesus heard this he said, “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was. Then after this he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
John 11:3-7

*An icon of Jesus visiting his friends, the siblings Sts. Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Photo from crossroadsinitiative.com.*

Don’t you find it striking that after asserting that “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus”, then, “he remained for two days in the place where he was” (vv.5-6)? How could Jesus loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus yet delayed his coming in visiting them, especially Lazarus who was sick? His love for Lazarus as his friend should have made him proceeded to visit him right away and had he gone soon enough, Lazarus would have not died at all!

Many times we are also baffled with God who claims to love us so much but too often, delays his coming to us, in answering our prayers, and even seems to allow us to suffer so much before finally coming to our rescue!

The key, my dear friends, is found in verse 4 when Jesus said “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Like in the healing of the man born blind last Sunday when Jesus told his disciples that “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him” (Jn.9:3), St. John is reminding us in this raising of Lazarus from the dead that the love of Jesus Christ for us is manifested in works that show the glory of God by which we his disciples come to deeper faith.

When bad things happen to us making us feel in dire need of help and deliverance from God immediately, we tend to focus on what’s wrong, what’s broken and what needs help, expecting God to do something quick about it. But Jesus is teaching us this Sunday to approach situations of tragedy and deep crises like when somebody is too sick, even death by first seeking means how we can be an instrument who manifest God’s glory in this moment of great danger and need. Jesus is governed by something greater than human affection and expectations but by the Father’s will.

See at a very young age after Jesus was lost and then found in the temple when he clarified to his parents that he had to be in his Father’s home?! As he matured and later with his disciples, he would always insist on the need to seek, follow, and stand by the truths of the Father for he does and says nothing not known by the Father. When it seems to take time so long in receiving God’s assistance, never think he loves us less. In fact, he loves us so much that he finds something else so beautiful in such situations that he opts to delay in answering our prayer requests immediately.

Remember how the Israelites spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness before entering the Promised Land after their exodus from Egypt when they could have accomplished that in less than a month maybe or even a year. But in their wandering in the desert for 40 years, they were purified and bonded as a nation. It was during those years they developed their language and culture and most especially, the composition of the first five books of the bible! Many times, God delays his coming to us so as to make us stronger and deeper in our faith like Martha and Mary. Just because God does not act quickly to our needs does not mean he loves us less that we begin doubting his love for us.

*“The Raising of Lazarus”, 1311 painting by Duccio de Buoninsegna. Photo by commons.wikimedia.org*

The love of Jesus for everyone, especially his friends, Lazarus, Martha and Mary is best expressed in giving glory to the Father by helping them come into deeper faith. That is the greatest gift we can also give our family and friends – deepened faith through a life that points to God and not us.

There are times we feel like being grounded and even pulverized by God – dinudurog – not because he does not love us but primarily to transform us into better persons. In the first reading, God assured Ezekiel which was fulfilled in Christ that he would make us rise not only at the end of time but even in our little deaths daily in life by breathing into us his Spirt. This is the goal of every Lenten journey that leads to Easter, that amid all the sufferings and pains, even deaths we experience in life, we always emerge better, living more in the Spirit of God (second reading) than in flesh.

Hindi lang tayo mahal ng Diyos. Mahal na mahal na mahal tayo ng Diyos kay Jesus!

After each darkness in life, there is always new life in each new day with Jesus calling us to “come out” like Lazarus as a better disciple. Amen. Have a blessed week!

Deaths in Lent

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 27 February 2023

Lent is my favorite season in our Church calendar: partly because of my melancholic tendencies and mostly, its closeness with the realities of life, of its daily “passovers” and exodus that eventually lead to Easter. That is why for me, life is a daily lent.

This became truest to me yesterday afternoon, the First Sunday of Lent when one of our elderly priests, Msgr. Vicente “Teng” Manlapig died past 3:00 PM at the Fatima University Medical Center in Valenzuela City where I serve as chaplain.

I am still in the process of gathering the many insights and realizations I have had these past three weeks when Mons. Teng was confined with the final five days in the ICU. What is so remarkable for me which dawned upon me yesterday is the fact that Mons. Teng is the second priest I had taken cared and died in the season of Lent. The first was the late Msgr. Macario Manahan in March 16, 2014, the Second Sunday of Lent at that time.

Yes, another monsignor I took care and died in the season of Lent. I was then assigned in San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista Parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan when Mons Macario retired in an apartment with his adopted family in the next barrio to my parish. Like Mons. Teng, I gave him daily communion and anointing of the sick during his final stretch of about two or three weeks before death. The only difference is that Mons. Macario passed away in my presence that Sunday afternoon; I visited Mons. Teng Sunday morning before he expired in the afternoon.

I have been wondering what must be God’s message for me in making me directly involved with two elderly priests dying in the season of Lent.

It seems to me for now that Lent is the best time for us priests to die because it leads to Easter. It would be a great extra bonus perhaps for us priests to die on Easter Sunday like the Jesuit Father Teilhard de Chardin or on Divine Mercy Sunday of the Easter Octave like the great St. John Paul II or at New Year’s eve like Pope Benedict XVI recently.

In my 24 years in priesthood, I have found our life, and death, follow a certain pattern. That is another topic I intend to develop further but for the moment, here is God showing me a pattern in priestly deaths in Lent which is the season characterized by prayer, fasting, alms-giving and penance.

Thursday night, Mons. Teng he asked to me listen to his “story” which turned out to be a confession, his final one. And what a tremendous grace from God for it was a triumph against his final temptations by the devil. How wonderful that he died yesterday, the First Sunday of Lent when the gospel from Matthew was the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness. The hospital ICU is the modern wilderness of temptations where there is the macabre atmosphere of gloom and dead-seriousness, cold and lifeless with just the eerie beeps and whirring or humming of various machines accompanying patients in separate cubicles along with doctors and nurses garbed in overalls and masks like in those movie scenes of invasion by aliens or zombies.

I must confess that after witnessing another death of a senior priest this season of Lent with my ministry this past year being in the hospital, I actually feel more afraid than ever of getting old, of getting sick.

It seems to me for now 
that Lent is the best time for us priests 
to die because it leads to Easter.

I cannot say I am ready. No. The more I see myself afraid and so unprepared. It would be a big lie no fool would ever believe to claim I am ready to get sick and die. And even if I felt so tired and sleepy watching over Mons. Teng these past weeks, I could not pray in silence to God and ask him that he spare me those sufferings. Yes, the sense of entitlement crossed my mind many times like the thought “siguro naman, pwede na ako ma exempt, Lord” but no! I could not ask God. I feel so ashamed. It felt so bad on the taste-buds. Whenever such thoughts crossed my mind, there was always something or someone inside me preventing me from asking God for that privilege. Or grace? Because our suffering in sickness is precisely the very gift and grace of being one with Jesus Christ in the wilderness, fighting the devil’s temptations.

The gospel said it so well yesterday that after Jesus triumphed over his temptations, “the devil left him and, behold, angels came and ministered to him” (Mt.4:11). See that it was Thursday when I heard Mons. Teng’s final confession, Friday night was the last time he received the viaticum because Saturday morning he could no longer speak, could not eat that I had to consent into the insertion of an NGT for his feeding Saturday night until he slowly deteriorated Sunday morning after I had anointed him again with oil and died around the hour of the great Mercy of God at 3PM.

The same thing is true with Mons. Macario. For about two weeks, I would rush to his apartment mostly at night and midnight to anoint him, pray for him, and give him the viaticum. Once I even celebrated Mass for a peaceful death around midnight when we thought he was about to expire which eventually came a few days after he had met and presumably reconciled with a family member. It was the Second Sunday of Lent, March 16, 2014 when he died. The gospel was the Transfiguration of Jesus. If there is anyone who would truly experience the Cross of Christ on the way to transfiguration, it is surely us, his priests.

A few years ago a friend commented to me that he thought priests were exempted from sickness and other sufferings. He could not believe that we priests get cancer, suffer stroke and other debilitating sickness. In fact, I told him that suffering is our life. One of the priests with tremendous impact on me was our formator in high school seminary, Rev. Fr. Leopoldo Nazareno we called “Fr. Naz” who spent maybe 40 years of his life with Parkinson’s disease that was so rare at that time in the 80’s.

Am I afraid of getting sick, of dying? Yes. Very much! But, what can I do? Like Jesus in the the garden of Gethsemane, even if I pray that God would take away this cup, it is still his will not mine.

Maybe for a good reason, to suffer unto death is the ultimate gift of priesthood. Even in old age for us priests, there is still the essence of victimhood, of offering. It is when out deathbed becomes our eucharistic table and altar where we finally offer ourselves to God in union with Jesus our Eternal High Priest, no longer the bread and wine because we could not celebrate the Mass nor even receive Holy Communion. It would be very sad for a priest to die not a martyr, a witness of Christ on the Cross, loved and forgiven like the “good thief”.

That is what I have seen in these two deaths of priests in the season of Lent: the immense and immeasurable mercy and love of God for us all, especially us priests. Yes, we are sinners, even more miserable than others. But, still loved and forgiven by God. May we strive more to be holy priests, thinking more of the people than ourselves. Pray for us your priests, and help us fix our eyes unto God more clearly through you, the people, the sheep of his flock. May we your priests find that life is a daily Lent, a daily passover, a daily carrying of the Cross and Crucifixion in Christ that leads to Easter. Amen.

Lent is choosing God

40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday after Ash Wednesday, 23 February 2023
Deuteronomy 30:15-20   ><000'> + ><000'> + ><000'>   Luke 9:22-25

Everyday you bless us,
O God, with that great power
to choose freely what we desire
best for us; but, many times, we make
the wrong choices that often lead us
to more pains and emptiness,
sadness and that feeling of being
lost.

Most of all,
we choose sin,
we choose evil,
than choosing good,
than choosing you, O God.

Moses said to the people: “I call heaven and earth today to witness against you: I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him. For that will mean life for you, a long life for you to live on the land that the Lord swore he would give to your fathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”
Deuteronomy 30:19-20

So many times
we make the wrong choices
when we insist on what we like
without really knowing what it is;
we make wrong choices
when we choose to disregard
you and your ways, Lord;
worst, we make the wrong choices
because we reject our very selves!

What a tragedy
when we ourselves refuse
to believe in ourselves,
in our worth,
in our possibilities
because we have lost all hope
in life, in you, and in others
due to failures or disappointments
or frustrations in life;
we choose wrongly when we
avoid pains and sufferings,
when we refuse to choose
the Cross not realizing
it is the one that truly leads
to life and prosperity
because every suffering,
every pain
leads to maturity
that make us better
and more open to
life and prosperity.

These 40 days of Lent,
let us choose you, Jesus
including your Cross;
let us choose people and
things outside of ourselves
because you have chosen to
care us and all our needs;
let us trust you 
so we may always choose you
because the times we choose
wrongly in life,
when we choose people
and things that are seemingly
favorable to us,
that is when 
we do doubt you,
when we do not 
trust you.
Amen.

Jesus,
King of Mercy,
we trust in you!

Advent is being small again

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the First Week of Advent, 29 November 2022
Isaiah 11:1-10 ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*> Luke 10:21-24

God our loving Father:

Thank you for this gift of Advent,
especially for the gift of our guide,
your prophet Isaiah who was the first 
to announce from afar 
the coming of the Christ,
your Son Jesus.

And today he speaks your words
that are so beautiful and lovely
but, so radical and contrary 
to what we believe,
to what we always hold on to.

On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom.
Isaiah 11:1

How wonderful, 
that when Jesus finally came, 
he called us to be small again,
to be weak and insignificant
like children even to the point
of being nothing, of losing and 
dying in one's self.

A day
a shoot sprouting
and a stump.
Then, a bud
shall blossom.

Empty me, O God,
of myself and everything
that fills me so that you
may fill me with your spirit
and form me into your
desired being;
keep me rooted in you
through Christ who had come,
would come again and
comes always.

If I have to be reduced
even to a mere stump,
let it be, Lord;
grant me patience to await
the sprouting of a shoot
until the bud comes
forth to bloom
and make us experience
Isaiah's prophecy:
"Then the wolf shall be a guest
of the lamb, the leopard shall
lie down with the kid;
the calf and young lion shall
browse together with a little child
to guide them. 
The cow and the bear shall be
neighbors, together their young
shall rest while the lion eat hay
like the ox.
The baby shall play by the cobra's den,
and the child lay his hand on the
adder's lair" (cf. Is. 11:6-9).

Keep us awake, Jesus
as we await and work
for your peaceful presence
here and now.  Amen.

Yakapin pagwawakas, salubungin pagsisimula

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-22 ng Nobyembre 2022

*Larawan kuha ng may akda, 16 Nobyembre 2022 sa Pulilan, Bulacan.*

Nakakatawang isipin
na palagi nating nararanasan
mga pagwawakas at katapusan
nguni't bakit lagi nating kinatatakutan?

Sa dapithapon naroon ang takipsilim,
ang lahat mababalot ng dilim
na kinasasabikan natin dahil
tapos na rin mga gawain at aralin;
batid natin, ano mang kuwento
maski Ang Probinsiyano
magwawakas din;
mahirap isipin, maski tanggapin
kapag mayroong mga gusali na gigibain
lalo't higit mga ugnayan at kapatiran
na puputulin at papatirin
dahil sa alitan at, kamatayan.

Mismo ang Panginoong Hesus
tumiyak sa atin lahat ay magwawakas
hindi upang tapusin kungdi
muling buuin buhay at mundo natin
na mas mainam kaysa dati.

Kaya huwag isandig sarili natin 
sa mga bagay ng daigdig na maglalaho rin
katulad ng dapithapon at takipsilim
bagkus ay ating yakapin 
bawat wakas na tiyak darating
upang salubungin pagbubukang-liwayway
ng bagong araw ng buhay, pag-asa
at pagpapanibago kay Hesu-Kristo
na sariling buhay man ay nagwakas din 
doon sa Krus upang muling mabuhay
at mabuksan Paraiso para sa atin --
ang tunay na katiyakang nakalaan sa atin!

*Larawan kuha ni Bb. Danna Hazel de Castro, Sagada, Mt. Province, 2017.*

Silence: the sound of the end, the sound of new beginning

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thirty-Third Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle C, 13 November 2022
Malachi 3:19-20 ><}}}}'> 2 Thessalonians 3:7-12 ><}}}}'> Luke 21:5-19

*Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte in Atok, Benguet, 01 September 2019.*

Silence is perhaps the most rare thing in this life that everybody is avoiding. See how that ubiquitous cell phone and ear phone/ear plugs on everyone, always speaking/texting to somebody or listening to something by one’s self.

Nobody appreciates the beautiful sound of silence anymore especially in the privacy of our homes with 24-hour television and unlimited streaming of movies. We are so at home with noise, from our talking gadgets to talking cars and talking elevators. Even jeepneys in my province speak Japanese when it stops!

But, no matter how hard we try to avoid silence, it imposes itself on us silently, telling us so many things for a more meaningful living like the need for us to slow down because the end is near.

In fact, it is right in silence when the end is already happening inasmuch as every beginning happens too!

Our readings today invite us to put some order in our lives because the end of everything is so real which happens not in the future but right in our present moment, in every here and now.

St. Paul in the second reading used the word “disorderly” twice to describe the kind of disorderly living some Thessalonians at that time were leading: “In fact, when we were with you, we instructed you that if anyone was unwilling to work, neither should that one eat. We hear that some are conducting themselves among you in a disorderly way, by not keeping busy but minding the business of others” (2 Thess. 3:10-11).

So relevant to our time too!

Let us be wary of the devil’s greatest temptation to everyone, that there is still time – there is enough time to change, to be better, to say “I am sorry”, to say “I love you”, to be kind, to be loving and forgiving.

There is not enough time because when we waste time, it is us who pass by not time! We could not bring back time and most of all, everything ends. Period.

While some people were speaking about how the temple was adorned with costly stones and votive offerings, Jesus said, “All that you see here — the days will come when there will not be left a stone upon another stone that will not be thrown down.”
Luke 21:5-6

Everything ends to begin anew

Jesus is still in the temple area of Jerusalem giving his final teachings to his disciples and the crowd. And what a great topic he had chosen before his life ends on Good Friday outside Jerusalem in order to rise again on Easter – the destruction of the Jerusalem temple!

For the Jews, Jerusalem is not just their capital city but in fact the center of the world, even of the universe because that is where God is – signified by the temple. Imagine Jesus telling us Catholics how the Vatican City with the magnificent St. Peter’s Basilica being destroyed and reduced to rubbles like the wailing wall of Jerusalem? Of course, it will happen but we do not know when as we have seen with other great churches that have collapsed due to earthquakes and fires like the famed Notre Dame Cathedral in France last year. Very often, we find the end unthinkable especially when we think of great buildings and structures like the World Trade Center in New York that collapsed following a terrorist attack on 9/11.

On the other hand, we try as much as possible to preserve in time great moments in our lives that we wish would never end like our first kiss or the significant events of triumphs and achievements we have had.

Jesus assures us today that everything ends.

But, every ending is also a beginning.

While everything ends even his life and mission here on earth as we shall see next Sunday in Christ the King, Jesus tells us that endings are not bad at all especially when seen in his light and life.

Despite his own warnings of many upheavals like wars among nations, natural calamities and disasters, and most of all, of our persecutions even by our own family members and friends, Jesus assures us these would not immediately be the end. Yes, it means there would be longer time and periods of sufferings and pains from the trials that would come our way as individuals and as a nation, most of all as a community of believers but Jesus will give us all the grace and help we need in giving testimony to him as the Christ.

“You will even be handed over by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends, and they will put some of you to death. You will be hated by all because of my name, but not a hair on your head will be destroyed. By your perseverance you will secure your lives.”
Luke 21:16-19

Everything Jesus had foretold have come true, especially the fall of Jerusalem in the year 70 AD, including those wars and calamities as well as all kinds of disasters that continue to happen to our days.

But, hey! Here we are all, still alive and well. Recall how in March 2020 when we were placed under quarantine, worldwide!

The world seemed to have stood still due to the COVID-19 pandemic. At first, we thought it would only be momentary like a few days or weeks but it dragged onto weeks and months! Until now, there is still the pandemic but a lot of great things have happened to us since 2020, for better and for worst.

That is the meaning of our brief first reading from the prophet Malachi reminding us that while the day of the Lord is the “day of judgment”, it is also the “day of salvation, day of redemption”.

And here lies the good news and challenge of this Sunday: while the end is not really an end in itself much to be feared as it is also a new beginning of a better life both here and in eternity, we have to strive harder each day in being more responsible disciples of the Lord, giving testimony to his loving service and mercy to everyone especially those in the margins like the poor and the sick.

I love the words of St. Paul in the second reading “instructing and urging us in the Lord Jesus Christ to work quietly” (2 Thess.3:12).

What a lovely reminder from the great Apostle who tirelessly – and silently – worked proclaiming the gospel and being an example to his people.

His call for us to work “quietly” in the Lord is an invitation to rediscover the beauty of silence in this noisy world of ours.

It is said that modern man is afraid of silence because he is afraid of confronting the truth of himself, that is he is finite, that everything will end. When we practice silence especially in prayer and in life generally, we come to terms with our very selves, with our life, and with death. That is when we start living authentically.

When we become silent, we learn to trust, we become faithful. No wonder, saints (along with monks and every religious including us priests ideally) are connoisseurs of silence.

Because, the truth is, God works silently in human history. Then and now, we have seen and experienced God working in silence in our lives and in the world, ensuring that history would end according to his Divine plan, not just according to fate or freak accident or human folly.

In the silence of our hearts, we are certain of these things, of God never ceasing in his love and care for us. Even without the prophets proclaiming, right within each of us, we can be sure that every day is a day of the Lord, a day of his judgement and a day of his salvation. Amen. Have a blessed week ahead!

The Good Nurse: every one must be good

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 08 November 2022

Still streaming in Netflix is The Good Nurse that will surely make you feel good that despite all the evil going on in this world, there are still good people who make our planet a safer place to live. Truly, St. Paul’s words ring so true in this Netflix movie, “where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more” (Rom. 5:20).

Based on the 2013 true-crime book of the same title by investigative journalist Charles Graeber, The Good Nurse is about how a good nurse named Amy Loughren stood her ground to cooperate with two hardworking detectives in New Jersey to arrest and eventually put into jail her fellow nurse Charles Cullen who is considered as one of America’s most prolific serial killers. According to the movie, Cullen admitted to have killed 29 patients by administering harmful drugs in nine different hospitals he had worked as nurse in a span of 16 years although authorities believe he may have killed up to 400 patients!

The only reason I watched The Good Nurse – in three installments while watching Black Butterflies two weeks ago – is because I am assigned as a chaplain in a University offering BS Nursing with a Medical Center. I was hoping to learn some “talking points” for my Masses and spiritual conferences with them from the movie; however, what actually happened was they prepared me to appreciate deeply this kind of movie with my many interactions with them both in school and the hospital.

I just have to warn you that the movie is too long, more than two hours. And very slow. But, it is well worth it especially in the last 50 minutes when tempo changes and shifts to high gear of action and suspense that you get so involved with the movie even if you are watching it alone on a laptop like me. There is that urge you actually talk to Amy not to fall in love with Charlie, especially in that part he was fired from their hospital and he suddenly spent the afternoon with her kids, sending their babysitter home as he prepared even their meal!

Yay…naku!!! I was really telling Amy to spit out that piece of meat Charlie had cooked as it may be laden with poison or insulin and digoxin!!! Hahaha!!!

Dramatic and suspenseful, most of all, feel good is what The Good Nurse is all about.

What I like most in the movie is the courage of Amy to secretly meet with the two detectives after realizing herself Charlie was not exactly true as himself – kind and diligent, silent and reserved. She eventually researched and discovered the many evidences that established Charlie’s culpability that finally put him behind bars serving 18 consecutive life sentences.

Most touching part was when Amy visited Charlie in the police headquarters after his arrest where the detectives have failed to extract any confession from him for the mysterious deaths of patients in their hospital. In one part of the interrogation it was revealed that Charlie had a deeply disturbed and dangerous personality similar with that kid in an old movie also streaming in Netflix, Primal Fear. He just kept shouting and shouting the answer “no” to every question given him, sounding like a deranged man with his face contorting and eyes so menacing.

Everything changed when Amy came inside the interrogation room. The detective warned her not to get near Charlie who was extremely dangerous. Despite that warning, Amy requested Charlie’s cuffs be removed as she sat near him at his side. When she noticed Charlie freezing inside the room, she took off her sweater and put it on him while the detective stood on guard, worried for any untoward incident to happen.

Charlie was at first cold toward Amy, refusing to look at her directly.

When Amy began speaking by apologizing to Charlie, telling him how she felt sorry that despite his being kind to her, despite their being friends, she had to tell everything to the cops. Actress Jessica Chastain who played the role of Amy was able to perfectly exude that kind of warmth and caring self despite the fears in being with a mysterious suspect that slowly, Charlie softened and confessed his crimes.

And that is where the high point of the movie is when Amy asked him to tell her the truth why he did it, Charlie simply said because “nobody stopped me”. He sobbed, covering his face.

Then, Amy asked him for names of his victims and Charlie readily identified them one by one with the next scene showing him being led down the hallway of the prison. The final scene showed Amy in bed with her two daughters, being awakened by the eldest daughter telling her it is a school day.

Amy told her, “today we stay in bed”, finally giving her daughters with the much needed quality time they sorely missed from her who had to work so hard for their needs. According to the notes after the movie, Amy now lives in Florida with her daughters and grandchildren. She eventually had her heart surgery.

The movie is very timely. In fact, I have been using it in my homilies. It is very Christian and Catholic as it presents our so-called universal call for holiness, of how each one of us must strive to be good or perfect and holy like our Father in heaven (Matt. 5:48), echoed by Vatican II’s Lumen Gentium over 50 years ago calling us all to strive in creating a more just and humane society in this imperfect world.

There was no mention of religion nor any scene from the church or of anyone praying but it is very clear in the movie about the need for us all to be good like the good nurse, Amy.

According to the movie based on Graeber’s book, Cullen went on a killing spree as a nurse for 16 years because none of the hospital where he used to work at acted decisively on his case despite their suspicions over the mysterious deaths of some patients. Ironically, according to the movie, those hospitals never bothered to take drastic steps and measures in solving the mysterious deaths of their patients amid the suspicions on Cullen because they were afraid of the legal cases that might be filed against them by the families of his victims that is now exactly happening as per the movie.

There is that quotation attributed routinely to Edmund Burke that says “the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing”.

The Good Nurse Amy Loughren did not let the evil of Charlie Cullen to triumph. Against all odds of losing her job as a nurse, of losing herself as she was afflicted with a heart ailment, Amy proved to be so good indeed that she did everything to stop Charlie who said it so well that he did all those killings “because nobody stopped me.”

Here comes the true relevance of this good movie that challenges us all in this time to be good as always, fighting and standing up against every form of evil, regardless of who is committing them. Of course, it is not enough to just speak and fight without any evidences and most especially efforts to personally confront the evil-doers like the good nurse.

Jesus himself reminded us that “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple” (Lk.14:26).

This is most challenging for us in the Church, most especially among bishops and priests who chose to be silent, to let evil triumph right inside our hallowed houses of worship and apostolate when all these sex scandals occurred even a long time ago and still continues these days. We in the clergy must be above all most good than others in stopping evil from happening among our ranks. It is so sad and deplorable, even shameful when we priests and bishops are so vocal in denouncing injustices in the society perpetrated by civil authorities and politicians when we would not even raise our voices against the evil happening in our own turfs, of clergy and religious breaking all vows of chastity and poverty completely selling their souls to the devil for sex, money, power and fame.

The Good Nurse is a call for us all to return to being good, of saying no to sin and evil, of being truly human who respects and cares for life always which is at the core of our Lord’s teachings and of our humanity too. Happy viewing everyone!