Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 08 August 2022
Photo by Ka Ruben, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 24 June 2022.
My dearest brothers and sisters in Christ:
Thank you very much for your greetings and prayers last August 04, the feast of our patron saint, John Marie Vianney.
Thank you for showing us and sharing with us Jesus Christ our Lord and High Priest.
Thank you for your trust, for your friendship and support to us your priests.
Thank you for your many gifts and for providing for our needs.
Thank you for journeying with us.
So often, you ask us your priests for prayers.
Today, please allow me to share with you some prayerful requests for us priests to remain holy like Jesus Christ and most especially, for us "to smell like you his flock" as Pope Francis had told us priests during the first few months of his pontificate.
It is not enough that you pray for us to become good and holy priests; give us also the chance to be one.
First of all, give us the time to pray.
Yes, we priests have to be with you the flock but please keep in mind, we must first spend more time with our Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ.
Before you came and all the other ministries and activities we have to attend to, Jesus Christ came first to us. He called us first to be with him. Allow Jesus to have more of our time and attention in real prayer.
We do not have a night life like you; once in a while, we may join you for dinner and get together but please be conscious of time when inviting us in the evening. We should be home in Jesus at night, praying and preparing for the Mass early the following day. We are not supposed to get drunk with beer and alcohol or coffee nor attend your ballroom dancing. Most of all, we are not supposed to be recreating late in the night especially with lay people, young and old alike, regardless of your social status. Buhay po namin ang pagdarasal.
Second, give us the chance to do something good.
Our life is a life of service, of doing good. We are happy receiving all kinds of gifts from you. But please, believe us when we refuse to receive especially money or anything for a service rendered to you. It is purely out of love. We feel sad, even insulted, when every thing we do is given with financial remunerations.
We are poor but the same poverty is our gift to you. When we visit you to anoint your sick family member or simply to see how you are doing, that's true! We just miss you because we love you and care for you. Huwag ninyong bigyan ng ano mang kapalit ang mga paglilingkod namin sa inyo. Bahal ang Diyos sa amin.
Third, do not be sad and insulted when we give or share with others your gifts to us.
Rejoice and thank God when priests share with others your gifts because that means God had used you as his instruments in helping the poor and needy. Most of all, when we priests give your gifts to others, that means we are not selfish; be afraid, be concerned when priests hoard goods and other gifts from parishioners. Baka may pamilya na siyang binubuhay!
Fourth, help us to remain celibate.
Celibacy is the most beautiful gift of priesthood to priests and to people alike: in renouncing marriage and choosing to remain single for God, celibacy enables us priests to proclaim our faith in the strongest terms as witnesses of the goodness of God, the reality of heaven, and the truth that love and sacrifice are one.
You find us "abnormal" for renouncing sex and marriage? Fine.
Celibacy is a state of life that is most unusual only God understands. Iba po talaga kami. Hindi po kami normal kaya huwag ninyo kaming hanapan o asahang nakababad sa social media gaya ng Facebook at Messenger. Hindi namin buhay iyon. Huwag kayong magagalit kung madalas kaming mag-seen zone, marami kaming ibang mas mahalagang gawain at gampanin. Kung nararamdaman ninyong feeling close kami masyado sa inyo, kayo na lumayo sa amin. Tulungan ninyo kaming manatiling malinis sa harap ng Diyos at ninyong mga tao.
Lastly, do not "spoil" us your priests.
Hindi po binebeybi ang pari pero huwag naman ninyo kaming patayin.
Remember we priests are also human like you - weak and sinful. We get tempted in everything just like you. Many times as we age, we become forgetful too as our memory bank becomes full or sometimes bugged.
We get hurt too with words and gestures. Alalahanin, mas maramdamin kami sa inyo kasi nga mag-isa kami sa buhay, walang napaghihingahan ng sama ng loob o nararamdaman.
In short, always give us some room, some space to keep us apart from you, separated from you not for anything else but for Jesus Christ and his Church, our spouse and beloved. Amen.
In Christ Jesus,
fr. nick
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 26 July 2022
My dad at his office, Bureau of Forestry (now Forest Development), 1972 in his typical shirt-jacket, wearing his wedding ring.
Today is supposed to be a day for grandparents being the Memorial of St. Joachim and St. Anna, the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary – therefore, the lolo and lola of Jesus Christ. When my father Wilfredo was still alive, he would always tell as that if he had been a girl, he would have surely been named Anna because in 1932, it was only St. Anne who was celebrated with a feast in the Church.
Now you know, today is my dad’s 90th birthday but now that he is in heaven, I am sure they are no longer celebrating any birthdays at all for they are in eternity, forever happy and joyful, no more sufferings and pain.
According to my mom, my dad’s first crush was Dorothy Jones or Nida Blanca, his classmate at Adamson High School; he would just smile when we would ask him it it were true as we look at his annual that was lost to flood.
It is us who are left behind who celebrate their birthdays here because despite the 22 years that have passed since his sudden death, the pain and emptiness have remained. That is the saddest and most difficult part in the death of a loved one: I cannot say we just get used to “it” because though he is absent, deep in my heart I could feel him present in me and with me.
Maybe that is what they call as healing – when we learn to live, find meaning in life, and most of all “mature in life” as we age hoping someday we would finally meet in eternity when we shall all be totally complete again, literally and figuratively speaking.
Lately as I age, I notice a marked change in me in remembering my dad when I see myself more in him and likewise see him more with me. Somehow, every day I have slowly realized that old age indeed is the final stage of human maturity with all of God’s bountiful blessings while it subtly reminds us of our own twilight too.
Maybe that is the reason why we mellow and become more spiritual as we get older. Our departed loved ones, especially with those we are closest with, continue to teach and guide us just like when we were kids. And stupid.
The more I look at my face every morning and see those wrinkles and lines topped with white hair, I get more convinced I look like my dad.
Anak nga ako ng tatay ko! – whatever that means.
My parents’ wedding at St. Rita Parish in Philam, QC, 26 April 1964, reception was at the Aristocrat Cubao; my mom kept the receipt but again we lost to flood.
Perhaps, like in the experience of St. Mary Magdalene, we learn to relate with our departed loved ones on a higher level, no longer physical but something spiritual and more personal.
Basta! It is difficult to explain but we move on with life, still limping and complete without them on our side yet we feel more intensely them with us at the “other side” looking at us, laughing or smiling at us, sometimes irritated or covering their face because of shame, but always loving us, believing in us.
And that is why for me, especially as a priest trying my very best to live my celibacy as faithfully as my dad had been as a husband to my mom, he has always been my inspiration in everything. In fact, he is always the one I think as my audience every time I write these blogs. Every Sunday, I imagine him one of those seated on the pew celebrating with me in our Mass, imagining how he would be bored or delighted with my homilies. And I am very sure of him, whether he liked or not my blogs and homilies, he would never tell me and just keep it to himself but would surely call his brother Arturo or sister Neneng or nieces Toots and Joji how he liked my stories and preaching.
A few years ago when I started blogging by relating a secular music with the Sunday gospel, I learned that David Gates of The Bread actually had his departed father – not his girlfriend at that time as inspiration in composing “Make It With You” in 1970.
During an interview at the peak of their success, Gates was asked of one more thing he would wish in life as they were so famous. He told the interviewer that he wished his dad were alive to experience his joys in having a successful career. And that was when he explained it was actually his father he was referring to in every line of their greatest song that was repackaged as a love song addressing it to a girl.
Hey, have you ever tried Really reaching out for the other side? I may be climbing on rainbows But baby, here goes
Dreams, they’re for those who sleep Life is for us to keep And if you’re wondering what this song is leading to I want to make it with you I really think that we could make it, girl
Like Gates, that is one thing I have always wished for since my dad passed away 22 years ago: how I wished he had heard me for 16 years having regular programs at Radio Veritas to which he had always been glued to since the time of the late Fr. Ben Carreon; how I wished he could have visited me in my own parish when I finally became a parish priest; and now, how I wish he could see our beautiful University where I am the chaplain.
It is a grace to get old most especially when you have old folks to look up to, those who have gone ahead of us to eternity as we now approach its threshold too.
Life can be short or long Love can be right or wrong And if I chose the one I’d like to help me through I’d like to make it with you I really think that we could make it, girl.
By the way, my dad died on my mom’s birthday on June 17, 2000. I always say that’s a proof of how much my dad loved my mom so much, his birth into eternal life was my mom’s birthday. But, that is easier said than done because the reality is it was doubly hard for us losing our dad on my mom’s birthday. Especially for Mommy who had never been happy in life. And that fact makes his death more painful and even difficult for us.
My father loved my mother so much. Since childhood until I became a priest, he never ate without my mother with him at the table. He does her coffee and did all the cooking at home. Every Sunday was a feast with his pochero, chili con carne, mechado. Bulalo was our simplest fare that is why we all have gout too!
My mom and dad always together even in parties.
On the first two years since his death, I would ask him whenever I would visit his grave why did he die on mom’s birthday? Why that date when there are 364 other days?
After two years, I felt his answer: me and my mom had some LQ at that time and I did not go home for a month but I would still visit his grave when I felt him telling me, “Nick, I died on your mom’s birthday so you would also love her as I have loved her.”
And that is what I have always tried to fulfill until now. Like what the late Luther Vandross expressed in his 2003 hit “Dance With My Father”.
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door And I’d hear how my mother cried for him I pray for her even more than me I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much But could you send back the only man she loved? I know you don’t do it usually But dear Lord she’s dying to dance with my father again Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
My father never asked me to become a priest but it was him who unconsciously planted the seeds of my vocation when I would always see him praying before our altar before leaving for work and upon arriving home in the evening. It was from him I have learned and realized what true love is and most of all, that indeed, God is love. He loved us so much and even though it has been 22 years since he died, I can still feel his love.
How I wish his grandchildren have all met him too.
Thank you in taking time to bear with me, in listening me bare my heart out.
God bless to all the grandparents! And moms and dads too!
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