Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday, Memorial of Mary, Mother of the Church, 25 May 2026 Acts 1:12-14 ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> John 19:25-34
Icon of Mary “Mater Ecclesiae” (Mother of the Church) in St. Peter’s Square from opusdei.org.
Praise and glory to you, God our loving Father in bringing us this far: it is almost June, half-way through 2026 as we begin Ordinary Time with the closing of Easter Season yesterday, Pentecost Sunday; thank you most of all to Jesus Your Son now seated at Your right in heaven in giving us His Mother the Blessed Virgin Mary whom we honor this Monday as Mother of the Church.
From the very beginning, from His birth to His public ministry until His Crucifixion, Mary has always been with Jesus so that when He sent the Holy Spirit as He had promised on that Pentecost Sunday in Jerusalem, Mary was present with the disciples praying in the Upper Room: "All these devoted themselves with one accord to prayer, together with some women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers" (Acts 1:12).
What a beautiful image of the church on its very first day, as Your Body, O Lord Jesus, gathered in prayer with Mary Your Mother whom You have entrusted to Your beloved disciple at the cross: "When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, 'Woman, behold your son.' Then he said to the disciple, 'Behold, your mother'" (John 19:26-27).
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, March 2024.
As we resume today Ordinary Time, may we imitate Mary Your Mother, O Lord Jesus, in being a faithful disciple, open to welcome and accept You, saying "Yes" to Your will like at the Annunciation; let our faith in You be firm like hers at the wedding at Cana when she told You immediately how the newly-weds have ran out of wine, instructing the servants to do whatever "he tells you"; most of all, like Mary, let us remain intimate with You, Jesus in prayers, her most important trait as Your faithful and model disciple.
Teach us, dear Jesus, to be like Mary Your Mother, deeply absorbed in You in prayers; her standing at the Cross was not a result of a spur in the moment but the fruit of her long, vibrant prayer life centered in You her Son; unlike us, we come and pray to You only when we are going through trials and difficulties but when everything is going well in life, we hardly remember You, Lord, nor pray at all.
All her life, Mary lived in prayer, in communion and oneness in You, Jesus that is why when the Church was born on Pentecost, Mary was there. She has always been with us as our Mother and companion in mission, appearing many times like in Fatima, Portugal in 1917 to remind us to return to you, Lord Jesus Christ; let us be like Mary in her discipleship that is essentially a prayer life. Amen.
From cbcpnews.net, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 13 October 2022.
Lord My Chef Sunday Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Sixth Sunday of Easter, Cycle A, 10 May 2026 Acts 8:5-8, 14-17 ><}}}*> 1 Peter 3:15-18 ><}}}*> John 14:15-21
Photo by author, Bucharest, Romania, November 2025.
Jesus wraps up this Sunday his Last Supper discourse into its very meaning of love as basis of our relationships in him who is both our “gate” as the Good shepherd (April 26) and our “home” (May 3). It was at his Last Supper when Jesus gave his new commandment of love that is why Holy Thursday is also known as Maundy Thursday from the Latin mandatum for “command.”
Jesus said to his disciples: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments… In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him, and reveal myself to him” (John14:15, 19-21)
See how Jesus mentioned the word “love” five times in our short gospel this Sunday.
Love is the basis of every relationship; without love, any relationship will not last, will not grow, will not mature and deepen into what it is meant to be.
This is most true in our relationship as disciples of Christ wherein love is more than a feeling but a decision, a choice we make daily in favor of Jesus through the persons around us like your spouse and children, our parents, and fellow disciples. And mothers!
Photo by author, June 2024.
Happy Mothers’ Day to every mom especially those in their sick bed, those widowed, and those who gone ahead of us to eternity.
Mothers are the best examples of the love Jesus is speaking of in the gospel today.
It is the love we affirm despite the pains and hurts of misunderstanding from people we love; it is the love calling us to remain faithful even if others are not; it is the love that remembers and never forgets; it is the love that forgives, that cares and understands without asking anything in return.
It is a love that unfolds, like a process going through stages that calls us to be patient as St. Paul described it in one of his letters. That is why Jesus promised to send the Holy Spirit later to his disciples to understand better his lessons and mission for them.
See how in the first reading we have a glimpse of the kind of love of Jesus calling us – the conversion of the people of Samaria: first was Philip coming to them like preparing the ground for the gospel in them and when they seem to be ready, Peter and John arrived to pray over them to receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit. More than to show us how the Holy Spirit works, the story is all about the love that bound the early Church together especially when the persecution begun.
I prefer the word “unfolding” in describing love wherein slowly there is the sort of “unveiling” of the cover of the face because love is more than a concept and thought or experience: love is a person as John wrote in his first letter, Deus caritas est, God is love (1Jn.4:8).
It is the title of the first encyclical by Pope Benedict XVI who wrote that true love involves transformation wherein the lover seeks to become like his beloved, moving from selfish desires known as eros into the self-sacrificial and other-centered love called agape, the Greek word used by John in writing his account of the Last Supper.
Photo by author, March 2018.
The love that Jesus is calling us is that love of his on the Cross we make present in the Eucharist, that even though we repeat it over and over daily, we never get fed up because something is happening in us, there is something changing, making us better, more matured, more loving that we keep coming back to the Holy Mass to listen to his words and receive him Body and Blood under the signs of the bread and wine.
Every true love is always a person. This is the reason why those who love persevere and forge into every obstacle, fight for their love, bear all pains because we find our fulfillment in being with our beloved, whether physically or spiritually. The mode does not really matter because true love touches our very personhood always.
Here lies the beauty of Albert Camus’ 1947 novel The Plague that had a sort of rediscovery during the 2020 COVID pandemic where he wrote that “A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one’s work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart.”
Our Lady of Fatima University-GawadKalinga in Bagac, Bataan.
Without love, humanity will go extinct.
Because of love, every tragedy, every suffering and problem we go through leads to happy ending primarily because we discover something in ourselves and in someone beyond far more important than any situation or plight we may be into.
And that is the joy of the love of Jesus Christ when God is revealed in us in his love when we love like him. It is Jesus Christ whom we “sanctify as Lord in our hearts” (1Pt.3:15) is the one we imitate and follow, the one we see and, most of all, the only one we must share when we love, when we serve.
I know, these are easier said than done.
Specially when we who love are not loved by those we love. Or taken for granted, even forgotten.
Again, let us return to that love of mothers that is most closest to the love of Jesus Christ, a love so willing to give up one’s self in spite and despite of everything.
One of the hardest things many of us go through like priests and nuns, the eldest in the family and the newly widowed or anyone looked up to as someone without a problem: very often people forget us or take us for granted including those supposed to be closest to us, thinking we are fine or doing great without any hint of the sufferings we are going through.
But, it is a source of constant deep joy while suffering in silence, God’s grace is always overflowing because Jesus is within each one of us who believes in him and tries hard to keep his commandments.
We just have to do our part, to keep on believing in Jesus, loving Jesus, and most of all, keeping his commandments because Jesus is the “explanation to anyone who asks us for a reason for our hope” (1Pt.3:15).
We are about to close the Easter Season in two weeks: next Sunday will be the Solemnity of the Lord’s Ascension and after that the Pentecost Sunday. This Last Supper scene perfectly captures the very kind of love Jesus is asking us – a love so personal like his, a love that unfolds and grows deeper as we love more despite the pains and sufferings, and a love that often looks absurd to others and even to us because it is not physical. And beyond logic.
Jesus invites us to continue to be his loving presence in this selfish world, where everyone demands of deserving so many perks in life. Let us do away with that expression “dasurv ko” this or that. Let us pray for more love to conquer all. Don’t forget to hug or remember your mom this Mothers’ Day. Have a blessed Sunday and keep cool and hydrated too! Amen.
Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul, 19 November 2025 Wednesday in the Thirty-Third Week of Ordinary Time, Year I 2 Maccabees 7:1, 20-31 ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*> Luke 19:11-28
Lady of Sorrows from a triptych by the Master of the Stauffenberg Altarpiece, Alsace c. 1455; photo from fraangelicoinstitute.com.
What a lovely phrase, dear Jesus for today for us all especially mothers and all women: "womanly heart, manly courage."
At this time when a wayward daughter and sister viciously attacks her own brother in total disregard of our family values and tradition, not to mention the need for decency and respect as well as a little sanity too, here comes out in the open the nobility of many women and mothers as well as men still intact; in this time like during the Maccabean Revolt when many sold their souls to evil for the price of comfort and ease, there are still more like that mother who dare to go against the tide of insanity and folly, indecency and disrespect, most of all, of idolatrous worship through religious leaders of the many sects and cults who use God's name in vain and shameful profit too.
Keep us strong inside, Jesus, to be not afraid in venturing into finding ways of serving you most than being idle in keeping your gifts and talents; teach us anew the virtue of obedience, of docility to authority whether at home and family or in the society in general and in other civil institutions.
Lastly, we pray dear Jesus for all mothers crying in silence these days for the many pains they bear inside their hearts especially those who have lost a child, those betrayed by their own husband or children, those separated from their families due to work and employment, those nursing a sick loved one, those forgotten even by families and societies; grant them a "womanly heart" filled with faith in God and a "manly courage" trusting in you alone. Amen.
Now more than ever, we are proven right: the past administration is the most decadent in our history with its utter lack of respect for life and for women; that its war on drugs was totally a lie. May they “who have contrived every kind of affliction not escape the hands of God” (2 Maccabees 7:31).
Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul, 27 August 2025 Wednesday, Memorial of St. Monica, Married Woman 1 Thessalonians 2:9-13 <*[[[[>< + ><]]]]*> Matthew 23:27-32
Image of St. Monica from grunge.com
Praise and glory to you, Lord Jesus Christ for another set of beautiful words from your great Apostle Paul of being like a "father", a parent to the Thessalonians like St. Monica whose feast we celebrate today in her diligence and patience to her son St. Augustine whose feast comes tomorrow.
As you know, we treated each one of you as a father treats his children, exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory (1Thessalonians 2:11-12).
In this time of great trial and crisis in our country when we are literally deep in floods of evil and sin, a deluge of apocalyptic proportion that have submerged all three branches of government - the executive, legislative and judiciary that have severely dampened and loosened the morals of our society, teach us Jesus to be like the mother of St. Augustine, the ever patient and prayerful St. Monica to exhort and encourage everyone to still walk in a manner worthy of God who calls us to be fair and just, tenacious with our faith and hope in you and your gospel minus the trappings of the Pharisees and scribes of your time who were like "whitewashed tombs who appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men's bones and every kind of filth" (Matthew 23:27); may the prayers of St. Monica with her tears cleanse us of everything wrong in our selves. Amen.
Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Our Lady of Fatima University Valenzuela City (lordmychef@gmail.com)
Lord My Chef Daily Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday, Feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of the Church, 09 June 2025 Acts 1:12-14 <*{{{{>< <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> ><}}}}*> John 19:25-27
Painting by El Greco, “Pentecostes” (1597) from commons.wikimedia.org.
Praise and glory to you, Lord Jesus in inspiring the Church in its most recent celebration of the Feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of the Church every Monday after Pentecost when we resume Ordinary Time; it is so right and fitting that after your return to heaven, you send us to the world to continue your work of salvation by being rooted in you in prayer, not just by ourselves but with Mary your Mother, your first disciple, the first doer of your word, the first to receive you, Jesus the Christ.
Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet…Peter and John and James and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James son of Alphaeus, and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. All these devoted themselves with one accord to prayer, together with some women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers (Acts 1:12, 13-14).
Icon of Mary “Mater Ecclesiae” (Mother of the Church) in St. Peter’s Square from opusdei.org.
Since the very start of the Church, you have always been with her, truly her Mother being the Body of Christ your Son; all your life, you have devoted yourself into prayer as a communion in Jesus Christ which is essentially what discipleship is - prayer!
As we resume the Ordinary Time, teach us Mother Mary to remain in union with Jesus in prayer:
let us be one with Jesus your Son to make our joy complete not only in listening and receiving his word but most especially in doing his words;
let us be one with Jesus your Son for us to persevere in our sorrows by finding him always in every suffering by embracing his Cross;
let us be one with Jesus your Son so that glory and victory may not inflate our ego, realizing everything is for God's greater glory;
let us be one with Jesus your Son for us to remain in his light of the Holy Spirit in this time we are engulfed in darkness of sin and materialism, pride and power, vanity and self-centeredness.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2025.
O most Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of the Church, Mother of Christ and our Mother too, be our companion in this long journey in Ordinary Time, knowing Jesus, loving Jesus, following Jesus, always leading and pointing others to Jesus to be like Jesus. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Simbang Gabi-8 Homily, 23 December 2024 Malachi 3:1-4, 23-24 <'[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Luke 1:57-66
Photo by author, Church of St. John the Baptist, the Holy Land, May 2019.
We are now in our penultimate day of our Simbang Gabi. I love that word “penultimate” so often found in the sports page that means second to the last of the series.
From the Latin prefix pen- meaning “almost” + ultimatum for “last”, penultimate literally means “almost last” which gives a sense of fulfillment and of completion – exactly how we feel this eighth day of Simbang Gabi that is almost over with everything already fulfilled in our readings and prayers for Christmas.
When the time arrived for Elizabeth to have her child she gave birth to a son. Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown his great mercy toward her, and they rejoiced with her. When they came on the eighth day to circumcise the child, they were going to call him Zechariah after his father, but his mother said in reply, “No. He will be called John.” But they answered her, “There is no one among your relatives who has this name.” So they made signs, asking his father… He asked for a tablet and wrote, “John is his name.” Immediately, his mouth was opened, his tongue freed, and he spoke blessing God. All who heard these things took them to heart, saying, “What, then, will this child be?” For surely the hand of the Lord was with him (Luke 1:57-62, 63-64, 66).
Painting of “Saint Luke Drawing the Virgin” by Flemish painter Roger van der Weyden (1400-1464); photo from en.wikipedia.org.
See again the artistry and advocacy of Luke as an evangelist and a journalist. We can imagine the scene, experience the joy and excitement of the event in the tight-knit community with all the wonderful elements of a drama in real life.
Leading the scene is Elizabeth, the priest’s wife barren for years and beyond hope now gives birth to a son, creating excitement and gossip among the many Marites. Then Zechariah the priest who was silenced for nine months due to his doubts with the good news announced to him by the angel finally spoke praising God, filled with gratitude and wonder. And of course, the uzis (usiseros), the neighbors who shared in the joy and for a good reason and intentions wanted the baby named after his father.
That’s when Luke showed his skillful mastery of weaving together a wonderful piece of tapestry clearly designed by God that surprised everyone, including us today. “When they came on the eighth day to circumcise the child, they were going to call him Zechariah after his father, but his mother said in reply, “No. He will be called John.” But they answered her, “There is no one among your relatives who has this name.” So they made signs, asking his father… He asked for a tablet and wrote, “John is his name.” Immediately, his mouth was opened, his tongue freed, and he spoke blessing God.“
Again, notice another minute detail mentioned by Luke when he called Elizabeth “his mother”.
Photo by author, Church of St. John the Baptist, the Holy Land, May 2019.
Of the four evangelists, Luke is the one who gave a lot of emphasis on the role of women in the society, especially the ancient Jewish one that was strongly patriarchal.
In the Visitation story yesterday, it was only Luke who had written a scene in the whole Bible with two women together conversing and in very positive mood. Women were so rarely put together in one scene especially in the Old Testament, a sort of what we may call as “gender bias” because women were always at odds with each other, even quarreling. Except for the Book of Ruth where we find two women not only in a single scene but a whole book and yet very pronounced there how it was Naomi the mother-in-law always portrayed in control or leading, always speaking while Ruth was silent, giving an impression of being so lovely yet very soft even submissive to elders and men.
Luke wrote the Visitation scene to clarify all these gender bias of their world then that persists even to our own time. Luke made a loud and clear statement in putting together Elizabeth and Mary in this one scene, an old, barren woman and a virgin, unmarried maiden both so blessed by God with infants in their wombs. Not only men are called by God to a special mission but most especially women who give birth. Elizabeth and Mary represent all the women of the world to remind everyone for all time that they are created in the image and likeness of God, with same dignity as men who must be respected at all times as indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
Notice how throughout the scene from the annunciation to Zechariah and the Visitation, the wife of Zechariah was referred to by her name Elizabeth but, when controversy arose about the name to give her son, Luke emphatically wrote “his mother” to show that she has every right over her son, reaching its climax when Zechariah affirmed the mother as he wrote “John is his name.”
Think of those moments in your life when there are reversal of roles and suddenly God threw you – catapulted you – to a major role in life you only entertained in your wishful thinking and daydreaming because you have given them up, you have surrendered it due to a very long time of being disappointed like Elizabeth or Zechariah?
Think of those times when you realized, when you felt being at the center of attention for a good reason because you are good, you are so blessed, you did the right thing? How do you feel of the grace of God?
Think of those times when you did something so good that prompted others to “prepare the way of the Lord” like John the Baptist, when people around you were wondering what else you would achieve because clearly, God is with you?
On this penultimate day to Christmas, take time to speak God from your heart as you prepare for the fulfillment of His promise to you. I tell you, claim it now whatever you are asking God for Christmas. Remember what the angel told Mary at the annunciation, “nothing will be impossible for God.” Dare to open yourself to God, create a space within you for Him alone and let Him lead you like Zechariah whose name means “God remembers”, Elizabeth which means “God has promised” and John, “God is gracious.”
On this penultimate day to Christmas, we are assured God is gracious because God remembers His promise always. Amen. Have a blessed week ahead.
Photo by author, birthplace of St. John the Baptist underneath the Church of St. John the Baptist, the Holy Land, May 2019.
I have been searching the internet since last night of images of the widow of Nain whose only son was raised to life by Jesus in today’s gospel. After reading and praying over this scene found only in Luke’s gospel, it struck me differently last night, touching something so deep within me unlike before that I wanted to see how artists portrayed her.
Unfortunately despite the many paintings based on this story by Luke, only a few artists took time to paint with focus and emphasis on the widow of Nain. Despite Luke’s detail in saying that Jesus was moved with pity with her than with the young dead son, artists seemed to have looked more into the whole scene than the persons involved.
Jesus journeyed to a city called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd accompanied him. As he drew near to the gate of the city, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. A large crowd from the city was with her. When the Lord saw her, he was moved with pity for her and said to her, “Do not weep” (Luke 7:11-13).
What a sorrowful sight it must have been with the widow of Nain burying her only child and son after losing her husband because she had practically lost everything in life!
The widow of Nain could have been a most wonderful subject for any painter or artist as she had melted the heart of Jesus who was prompted to raise to life her dead young son. In fact, this was the only third time Jesus had raised the dead to life in all four gospel accounts as He felt the enormous loss of the widow of Nain which remains so true to every widow these days.
In this brief and lovely story, Jesus reminds us of the special care we must have for widows and widowers who have lost everything in life while at the same time bares to us too the more disheartening aspect about death, of losing a beloved. Especially when it concerns a mother.
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2018.
The most striking truth I have realized until now since my mother died in May is how she meant everything to me and my siblings that I always say, “iisa lang siyang nawala sa amin pero lahat nawala.”
That’s the pain I feel most hurting inside me. I really could not picture our house without her every morning sweeping its front or watering her orchids or combing her dog. More painful was looking inside our home now so empty without her as I imagined those days she used to feed her aquarium fish named “pitimini” and “fetunia” and other flowers I did not know at all or simply bantering with her myna bird. Whenever I would come home, I still could not look long into her room now occupied by my brother because she’s all I see and feel inside.
The story of Jesus being moved with pity at the widow of Nain proclaims how every woman is a gospel herself, especially mothers who from the very start a part of us. See how the author of Genesis rightly narrated when God decided to create the woman, He said “Let us create a suitable partner for him” (2:18).
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2018.
Every woman is apart-ner of every man, especially mothers. Our umbilical cords are never cut off from our mom even after birth for our link with her continues even long after she – or us – is gone.
That’s because every woman is everything for each one of us as the Bee Gees sang it so well in one of the scenes in Saturday Night Fever, “more than a woman to me” because
Here in your arms I found my paradise My only chance for happiness And if I lose you now, I think I would die Oh, say you'll always be my baby, we can make it shine We can take forever, just a minute at a time
More than a woman More than a woman to me...
During our Mass this morning, I chose to celebrate the Memorial of St. Hildegard von Bingen, a German Benedictine nun who lived over 1000 years ago. She was a mystic and a prolific writer, thinker and spiritual master who was beatified in 1326 but was only canonized in 2012 by Pope Benedict XVI who declared her a Doctor of the Church.
Like the other German woman saint, Teresa Benedicta of the Cross or Edith Stein, St. Hildegard’s writings are so deeply true but tenderly expressed that one could feel the woman touch of God. One of her quotes I used in reflecting on the widow of Nain says, “The mystery of God hugs you in its all-encompassing mystery.”
That’s what mothers do best, they hug us with God’s mystery as they themselves are a mystery to us that John Lennon rightly called woman as “the other half of the sky”.
Make a widow, a mother smile today for that would surely go a long, long way to heaven. God bless all the women of the world!
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 27 August 2024
Photo of St. Monica from the cover of the book “St. Monica Club: How to Wait, Hope and Pray For Your Fallen-away Loved Ones by Maggie Green, Sophia Institute Press, 2019.
Today we celebrate the Memorial of St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine. She has always been associated with her son Augustine who is considered as one of the great saints of the Church with so much impact in our theology and almost every Catholic teaching. It was through the prayers and many sacrifices by St. Monica that St. Augustine was converted to Christianity who eventually became a priest then later as Bishop and Doctor of the Church. That is why during the Vatican II reforms of the liturgy, her memorial celebration was moved from May 4 to August 27, a day before St. Augustine’s memorial too.
Next to the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. Monica is perhaps the best example of motherhood beyond compare. Patron saint not only of wives and mothers, St. Monica is also the Patroness of those seeking patience and victims of abuse.
Most probably, stories about her suffering in silence in being married to an abusive and philandering pagan husband named Patricius were “overextended” to the extent we Filipinos got a very wrong impression of a “martyr” as being a wife who willingly bears without complaints the abuses by her husband.
St. Monica was very far from that kind of “martyr” but was in fact a “martyr” to the truest sense of its meaning from the Greek word martyria that means to witness Jesus Christ. Witnessing for Christ by bearing sufferings does not mean allowing one’s self to be abused freely by anyone; witnessing for Christ is primarily living a life centered on Jesus in prayers that flow into good works and holiness. Martyrdom is overcoming evil with goodness that is why many times, it ends with death – but, it is not as a defeat but as a triumph that leads to conversion of sinners and unbelievers, exactly how Christianity spread before and until now wherever Christians are persecuted.
According to St. Augustine’s own account in his book Confessions, although domestic abuse was prevalent during their time, their ill-tempered father never beat their mother. Her daily prayers especially her frequent going to the Mass with so many acts of charities to the poor irritated their father Patricius and yet led him to respect St. Monica. Eventually, her prayer life that found expressions in her almsgiving and kindness to everyone won the heart of Patricius, calmed his violent tendencies until he finally converted to Christianity before his death.
Before calming and converting her husband, St. Monica first won over her equally difficult to deal with mother-in-law! So, for those having problems with in-laws, St. Monica is the go-to saint for you!
But it is not that easy at all. We need to do the efforts, to cultivate a prayer life and allow God to work in us in order to grow in faith, hope, and love as well as the virtues especially patience. All these aspects of her faith flowed in her remaining so sweet and gentle despite her problematic husband and three children (whom Patricius refused to be baptized as Christians) that she was able to exercise a good influence over abused wives and suffering mothers who were so moved by St. Monica’s example.
Now here is the funny thing that most likely mothers and wives today would surely laugh at – St. Monica’s advise: “If you can master your tongue, not only do you run less risk of being beaten, but perhaps you may even, one day, make your husband better.”
Huwag daw po kuda nang kuda, mga Nanay at mga Misis…
Having spent most of my 26 years as a priest ministering to students and young people (exactly 17 years and counting), I used to tell them how often our mothers’ nagging is actually their love language; they may be saying a lot even without thinking at all but that’s because they love us, they care for us. That is why I find it amazing, so prophetic when Filipino mothers speak the same thing when children come home, hurt and beaten after not listening to their words of caution: “Sinasabi ko na nga ba…!”
Photo from shutterstock.com
Many times, mothers are prophetic; listen to whatever they may be saying because so often, they tell the truth. About us or of then people we go out with.
One thing I miss these days after my mom’s death in May are her words of love and wisdom as well as her nagging with accompanying threats (tatamaan ka sa akin or lalayasan ko kayo). Psychologists say that is wrong for parents to threaten their kids. I don’t really know but from my own experience those were perfectly examples of tough love that made us strong.
Now Mommy or Mamu as we called her since becoming a grandma is gone, no one reminds us or nags us anymore. And the worst part of that is, you have no one to make sumbong. We have lost somebody willing listen to all of our kuda.
That I think makes every mother to suffer a lot because they keep so many of her children’s pains and hurts, including anger and complaints in their hearts: many times they explain but we refuse to listen, accusing her of bias and favoritism. There are times she would say “hayaan mo na lang anak”… she would be talking and talking again of many things.
Every Nanay is a Sta. Monica, suffering in silence because she has always been loving us in silence. Truly, when a mother dies, our links are never cut off from her as if the umbilical cord remains intact. And wireless up to heaven. How funny that we complain often our our mother’s nagging and endless talking but when she becomes silent, we miss her. Now because we are sure she loves us so much.
Sharing with you this most beautiful tribute of four brothers to their Nanay I found last night in the internet now with 4M views. Pray for all mothers today, thank God for their great gift of life.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-14 ng Agosto 2024
Larawan kuha ng may akda sa kanyang silid, 14 Agosto 2024.
*Salamuch sa Orange and Lemons.
Umuwi ka na Mommy: yan lang mithi ko palagi hindi lang masabi nitong aking mga labi dangan kasi hindi mangyayari; akala ko noong dati makakaya ko ang pighati ng iyong pagpanaw ngunit aking akala pala ay mali tunay na damdamin namnamin, ilahad at aminin sa sarili huwag ikubli huwag magkunwari tiyak madadali sa huli.
Umuwi ka na Mommy: kailanma'y hindi namin iyan nasabi dangan nga kasi ikaw palagi nasa tahanan at tindahan naghihintay sa amin at pagsapit ng takipsilim tulad ng mga alaga mong inahin isa-isa kaming iyong hahanapin parang mga sisiw bubusugin sa halimhim ng iyong mga pangangaral at dalangin saka ipaghahain ng masarap at mainit na pagkain mahirap limutin.
Umuwi ka na Mommy: ikaw lang kasi sa akin ang walang atubili nakapagsasabi, nakakaramdam at nakababatid ng lahat dangan nga kasi ikaw ang sa akin nagsilang sa iyong sinapupunan hanggang libingan dama ko ating kaisahan pilit ko noon hinihiwalayan kaya ngayon aking ramdam kay laking kawalan kahit nag-iisa ka lang.
Larawan kuha ng may akda sa kanyang silid, 14 Agosto 2024.
I have reflected last Sunday that Pentecost is not just an event in the past but a daily coming of the Holy Spirit upon us, enlightening us of so many things in life we used to take for granted. Like the value of every person, especially when there is a death of a loved one.
In fact, death is a Pentecost when the Holy Spirit comes to remind us that we never – and can never – replace our departed loved ones. Every person is irreplaceable, especially family members. The sooner we realize this, the better for us to avoid those guilty feelings later that we should have been more loving and kind, that we should have said “I love you” more often because we never know for how long we can be with our loved ones. One thing is for sure: we do not replace our deceased loved ones but simply re-member them.
Photo by author, Bgy. Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite, 27 April 2024.
The word “remember” is very interesting.
It is from the root word “member” or “part”. When we put the prefix “re” which means “again”, “remember” means to make a part again of the present moment.
Every time we remember a person or an event, we make them part of our present moment. And they are most real, most present when our re-membering happens in the context of a family or a community. Re-membering someone by one’s self surely does happen a lot but very often, it is more of looking back to the past, recalling the days we used to be together. But when we remember somebody as a family or a community, the one we remember is indeed re-membered in our present, becomes real in everyone around celebrating his/her memory. Something concrete happens and the joy is more intense, leading to freedom from past, from pains and hurts of losing a loved one.
That is when death becomes a Pentecost. When the Holy Spirit came down upon the Apostles and the Blessed Virgin Mary in Jerusalem 50 days after Easter, the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity did not come to replace Jesus. The Holy Spirit is a distinct Person of the Trinity in whose power all the followers and believers of Christ have been empowered to make Him present until now in our collective re-membering of Him in the Church and the Sacraments. In the Holy Spirit who comes to us daily, we overcome and transcend every death we go through in life, enabling us to re-member our departed loved ones by being a member of those left behind.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 18 March 2024.
Since mommy’s death, I have gone home thrice already. How I loved to walk inside her room, trying so hard to get those feelings or vibes when she was still alive I miserably miss most as the days moved on.
One thing I have noticed, though, is that strange feeling of our home suddenly so empty as in “kakalog-kalog” as we say in Tagalog. Mommy ko lang nawala sa amin pero parang nawala ang lahat sa bahay?
Now I know better why the mother is the light of the family or “ilaw ng tahanan” because after she had died, her light in our home was turned off that seemed to have made our home so dark, so light and hollowed. However, when we gathered as siblings together with our nieces and nephew and relatives, the warmth of our home returns as if mommy is with us , still with us.
That is when the Holy Spirit comes amid the darkness of every death. A Pentecost when we are reminded of those still with us who must band closer together to make our departed more present in our collective re-membering. No wonder, it was also the final instruction of Jesus to His disciples at their Last Supper when He told them as He gave them the chalice to “Do this in memory of me” or “in remembrance of me”. In Greek, it is called anamnesis which is more than remembering or recalling but making present, making a reality.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
And the reality is this – every person is valuable beyond measure.
So fragile too! Because we can easily lose them in a snap.
We realize and feel this most true in death when we experience deeply “someone like me” whom I love, whom I care for is gone because in every death of a beloved, a part of us dies too. Even if he/she is an enemy or somebody we are not in good terms with, we feel a loss within because for better or worst, the deceased made us feel our humanity.
It is said that “one life is too many.” Very true. Today God gives us the gift and power to re-member those not with us by connecting with those still living with us. Make that connection now and soon you too shall see the face we sorely miss together. Have a blessed remaining half-week!
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