Pakikiramay at paglalamay bilang pagpapala

Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-24 ng Mayo 2023

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Jesuit Cemetery sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 Marso 2023.*

Bago pa man ako naging pari ay madalas ko nang naririnig ang tanong ng karamihan na bakit nga ba tayo nagkikita-kita lamang kung mayroong namamatay? Bakit nga ba hindi tayo magkita-kita ng madalas habang buhay pa upang ipahayag ating pagmamahal sa kaibigan o kamag-anak kesa yung sila ay patay na?

Bakas sa mga katanungang ito ang malungkot na katotohanan ng buhay lalo na sa mga nagkaka-edad tulad ko. Minsan naroon din ang panghihinayang at pagiging-guilty na kung bakit nga ba hindi tayo nagsasama-sama habang malakas at buhay pa mga yumaong mahal natin sa buhay?

Pero ang nakakatawa sa ganitong mga usapan ay ang katotohanan na pagkaraan ng ilang buwan o taon, magkikita-kita muli tayo pa ring magkakamag-anak at magkakaibigan sa susunod na lamayan nang hindi pa rin nagkasama-sama habang mga buhay pa!

Ano nangyari? Hindi na nga ba tayo natuto sa aral ng mga naunang yumao, na magsama-sama habang buhay at malakas?

Sa aking palagay ay hindi naman sa hindi na tayo natuto kungdi ang totoo, higit pa ring mainam ang magkita-kita sa lamayan kesa saan pa mang pagtitipon dahil sa ilang mas malalim na kadahilanan.

“Kaunting panahon na lamang at hindi na ako makikita ng sanlibutan. Ngunit ako’y makikita ninyo; sapagkat mabubuhay ako, at mabubuhay rin kayo. Malalaman ninyo sa araw na yaon na ako’y sumasa-Ama, kayo’y sumasaakin, at ako’y sumasainyo.”
Juan 14:19-20

Una, sa ating pakikiramay buhay ang pinararangalan at hindi ang kamatayan. Nakikiramay tayo upang ipagdiwang mabuting pamumuhay at magandang pakikisama ng yumao. Wika nga sa amin sa Bulacan, ang lamay lang ang hindi ipinag-iimbita. Ito ang sukatan ng kabutihan ng isang tao na siya ay parangalan hanggang magkapuyatan. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit paulit-ulit sinabi ni Jesus sa kanyang mga alagad na maging handa palagi dahil hindi natin alam ang oras ng ating pagpanaw. Alalaong-baga, mamuhay tayo sa kabutihan.

Isa sa mga paborito kong pelikula ay ang The Last Samurai ni Tom Cruise. Sa huling bahagi ng pelikula bago siya bumalik ng Amerika, namaalam siya sa batang emperador ng Hapon na nagsabi sa kanya, “Tell me how did my samurai die.” Sumagot si Tom Cruise, “I will not tell you how he died but I will tell you how he lived.”

Kaya nga sa lamayan hindi naman pinag-uusapan kung ano at paanong namatay kungdi paanong namuhay ang mahal nating pumanaw. Narito ang malaking kaibahan ng mga pagtitipon ng buhay gaya ng mga handaan at party na nauuwi lamang sa kainan, inuman, at tawanan o kantahan hanggang magkalasingan at di matunawan sa kabusugan. Minsan nauuwi pa sa away mga ito.

Ang ibig ko lang sabihin ay ito: sa patay mayroon ding kainan at inuman kung minsan pero iba ang lalim ng usapan at kuwentuhan. Lalong higit ng pagsasalo-salo – walang nagbabalot! – kasi iba ang level ng pagtitipon sa lamayan. Mayroong rubdob. Nahirapan lang ako sa isang bagay na sadyang makabago at hirap pa rin akong tanggapin. Ang pagpapakuha ng litrato sa mga lamayan. Mula pagkabata kasi aking nagisnan ay seryoso ang lamayan at dahil noon ay wala pang mga camera phone kaya asiwa ako na pumorma o mag-pose sabay ngiti kasama mga naulila sa tabi ng mga labi ng giliw na pumanaw. Maliban doon, ito ang unang kagandahan at biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay – ito ay pagdiriwang ng buhay hindi ng kamatayan.

Ikalawang biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay sa patay ay ang pagpapahayag ng patuloy nating pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga sa ating ugnayan hindi lamang sa pumanaw kungdi pati sa kanyang mga naulila. Hindi lamang tayo nakikibahagi sa kanilang dalamhati na siyang kahulugan ng pakikiramay o pagdamay, kungdi higit sa lahat ay ang ating pagtitiyak sa kanila na kahit wala na ang giliw nating pumanaw, nananatili pa rin tayong kamag-anak at kaibigan.

Pinakamasakit na bahagi ng pagmamahal ang paghihiwalay, pansamantala man o pang-magpakailanman tulad ng kamatayan. Isa itong katotohanang ating naranasang lahat dahil walang permanente sa buhay na ito. Darating at darating ang sandali na tayo ay mahihiwalay sa ating minamahal kapag ang mga anak ay nagsipag-kolehiyo o kapag sila ay nagsipag-asawa upang bumuo ng sariling pamilya. At ang pinaka-masakit sa lahat ng paghihiwalay, ang pagpanaw ng mahal sa buhay.

Gayon pa man, naroon sa kamatayan ang pinakamatinding hamon ng pagmamahal na ating ipinahahayag at ipinadarama sa pakikiramay. Alalaong-baga kapag tayo pumupunta sa lamayan, ating pinagtitibay sa kanilang naulila ang ating ugnayan, na tayo ay magkakamag-anak pa rin, magkakaibigan pa rin. Kahit mawala ang isang kamag-anak o pamilya at kaibigan, hindi mawawala ating ugnayan. Sama-sama pa rin tayo hanggang sa kabilang buhay kung saan magiging ganap at lubos ating mga ugnayan sa Diyos kay Kristo Jesus.

Kitang-kita ang ugnayang ito na hindi kayang putulin ng kamatayan sa paraan ng ating pagpapaalam. Walang nagsasabing “aalis na ako” o “lalayas na ako” maliban kung siya ay galit. Kapag tayo nagpapaalam saan man, ating sinasabi palagi ay “mauuna na po ako” gayong wala namang susunod sa ating pag-alis. Atin ding sinasabi bilang pamamaalam ang “tutuloy na po ako” e lumalabas nga ang isang nagpapaalam paanong tutuloy?!

Ang mga ito ay tanda ng pagtimo sa ating katauhan ng katotohanan ng kamatayan at buhay na walang hanggan. Sinasabi nating mauuna na ako dahil batid natin lahat ang katotohanan na una-una lang sa kamatayan. Gayon din ang pagsasabi ng tutuloy na ako tuwing nagpapaalam kasi isa lang ating hahantungang lahat, ang buhay na walang hanggan sa piling ng Diyos sa kalangitan.

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Bolinao, Pangasinan, 19 Abril 2022.*

Kaya hindi rin kataka-taka minsan kung kailan pumanaw at nawala na ang isang mahal sa buhay saka lumalalim ating ugnayan. Iyan ang ikatlong biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay, ang pananatili ng pag-ibig. Higit nating nadarama lalim ng ating pagmamahal kanino man kapag siya ay pumanaw na. Ito yung hiwaga ng aral ni Jesus sa bundok, “Mapapalad ang mga nahahapis, sapagkat aaliwin sila ng Diyos” (Mt.5:4).

Mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil una, sila ay nagmamahal. Sabi ni San Agustin, kaya tayo umiiyak kapag namatay ang isang mahal sa buhay kasi tayo ay nagmamahal. Masakit ang mawalan at hindi na makita ang isang minamahal.

Higit sa lahat, mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil silay ay minahal. Iyon ang pinaka-masakit sa pagmamahal. Matapos maranasan ikaw ay mahalin, saka naman siya mawawala sa piling. Ngunit iyon din ang pagpapala. Kaya masakit mamamatayn kasi nga tayo ay minahal. Sabi ng isang makata, “kung ikaw ay mayroong pagmamahal, ikaw ay pinagpala; kung ikaw ay minahal, ikaw ay hinipo ng Diyos.” Tuwing tayo ay nakikiramay, naglalamay, ating ipinahahayag ating pagmamahal gayun din ang biyaya na tayo ay minahal ng pumanaw.

Tama si San Pablo na sa kahuli-hulihan, lahat ay maglalaho at tanging pag-ibig lang ang mananatili (1Cor. 13:13). Gayon din ang inawit ni Bb. Cookie Chua sa Paglisan.

Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan
Itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan
At sa iyong paglisan, ang tanging pabaon ko
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig

Manatili sa pag-ibig ni Kristo! Amen. Salamuch po.

Blessing our goodbyes

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday in the Seventh Week of Easter, 24 May 2023
Acts 20:28-38 ><]]]'> + ><]]]'> + ><]]]'> John 17:11-19

*Photo by author, sunset at Tagaytay Vista Hotel, 07 February 2023*.

Lord Jesus Christ,
help us to pray and say
our goodbyes
just like you
and St. Paul 
in today's readings.
How lovely to keep in mind
that the word "goodbye"
is from "God-be-with-you"!

Leaving and separation,
whether temporary or permanent
like death is the most painful part
of living and loving;
like you on that last supper
and St. Paul as he departed from Ephesus,
may we also pray for our loved ones
to be left behind; let us be realistic too
in our goodbyes so that they we leave
behind are not just warned of the
coming dangers but most of all,
be equipped in you.

“I know that after my departure savage wolves will come among you, and they will not spare the flock. And from your own group, men will come forward perverting the truth to draw the disciples away after them.”
Acts of the Apostles 20:29-30

Whenever we leave home,
whenever we leave a gathering,
may we leave the people with the
beautiful experience of your loving 
presence in our giving than receiving,
 in standing by your truth, rejecting 
 lies and dishonesty,
in relying more on you than in ourselves.
When we leave,
may they remember you more
than us.
Amen.

“Never, Never Love” by Simply Red (1996)

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 May 2023

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.*

It’s the Lord’s Ascension this Sunday with our readings showing us again that inevitable reality in every love experience, that of leaving, of departures. Last Sunday we reflected that leaving is the most painful hurt in every experience of love.

This Sunday we are reminded that despite that pain, leaving can be the source of joy when every departure is because of love, and for the sake of love because there is the relationship that persists (https://lordmychef.com/2023/05/20/the-joy-of-leaving/).

And that is why we have chosen Simply Red’s 1996 hit single Never, Never Love from their album Life. Written by frontman Mick Hucknall, Never, Never Love is a modern soulful ballad of a love lost. We describe it as modern ballad because of Hucknall’s so refreshing approach by giving it with touches of jazz and electronic pop with smooth dashes of disco making it so cool and danceable especially the intro’s breezy lalalala. Notice also the thought-provoking query “what are we gonna do with it” that can be piercing at times.

So now we've got our independence, uh, uh, uh, uh
What are we gonna do with it
Learning to play different games
Already using different names
'Cause now our love bears no resemblance, uh, uh, uh, uh
To what we had before

The song, especially the video, for many would surely not instantly remind us of Jesus and his gospel or much less his Ascension but Never, Never Love teaches us a lot about the joy of leaving and separation. We really can’t say that any love is lost at all in a relationship. Remember the saying “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”? In this Simply Red song, we find the separation giving rise to a different kind of relationship and most of all to a more meaningful life and existence for the man.

Never never love, can never be enough
Never be enough, just ain't good enough (oh, oh) yeah
Never never love, can never be enough now
Never be enough, oh no

So now we've got our independence, uh, uh, uh, uh
What are we gonna do with it
Building the houses, claiming back the land
Burning the bridges, cleaning up your hands
'Cause now our love bears no resemblance, uh, uh, uh, uh
To what we had before

Now our love has something for the future
Now our love will grow the seeds to sow this real revolution
This good revolution baby
Where you're not below me anymore, oh, oh

There are many interpretations to what Hucknall meant in saying “building the houses, claiming back the land” and the following lines due to his political affiliations when he was younger but that last stanza sounds like the gospel, “Now our love has something for the future… will grow the seed to sow this real revolution… where you’re not below me anymore.”

Here we find a higher level of relationships borne out of their separation that has become more promising than before. Many times we are afraid of separations, of leaving whether temporary or permanent like death because of not knowing what would happen next. The disciples of Jesus felt the same way at Christ’s Ascension when they worshipped him and doubted themselves if they could keep up to the Lord’s commission. It is here in this aspect that we find Never, Never Love is related with the gospel and our feast of the Ascension: we grow and mature in life even after separations when we continue, when we boldly step forward to forge on in life, still believing, still hoping, and most of all, still loving!

Enjoy one of Simply Red’s early hits, Never, Never Love and try reflecting on your own relationships, of how you could level up to higher or deeper love for each other.

We have no intentions of infringing into the copyrights of this music and its uploader except to share the song’s beauty and listening pleasure.

The joy of leaving

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Solemnity of the Lord's Ascension-A, 21 May 2023
Acts 1:1-11 ><}}}*> Ephesians 1:17-23 ><}}}*> Matthew 28:16-20

*Photo by author, sunset in the city from OLFU-QC, Hilltop Campus, January 2023.*

Last Sunday we reflected that leaving is the most painful part of loving. Every separation hurts us, whether it is temporary or permanent like death. However, leaving can also be the source of our deepest joy when every departure is because of love, for love.

When we truly love, we only wish the best for our beloved. And sometimes that happens when our beloved leaves like when Jesus told his disciples at the last supper that it is better for him to leave so that the Holy Spirit would come (Jn. 16:7).

Moreover, when a loved one leaves, we are certain he/she is coming to somewhere better, someone better. That is why we have said last week that every leaving is also a coming like our coming together as a relationship no longer bounded by time and space but happening in spirit and truth.

That is the joy of leaving – it is a coming into a deeper or higher level of relationship that no longer depends in time and space.

That is the meaning of the Lord’s Ascension we celebrate today.

That is why the Ascension is not to be seen as Jesus “floating” on air going up to heaven which is not just a place but more of a relationship with God who is everywhere. Ascension is Jesus Christ’s entry into another level of intimacy and glory with the Father he shares with us his disciples as a result of his Passion, Death, and Resurrection.

The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them. When they saw him, they worshipped, but they doubted. Then Jesus approached and said to them, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:16-20

*Photo by author, Chapel of the Ascension at the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, May 2017.*

It is in this context of a relationship, an intimate one, where we can understand fully what Matthew meant when he wrote how on the Ascension of Jesus, the disciples “worshipped, but they doubted him.” How could anyone worship but at the same time doubt?

Doubt here does not mean skepticism about the person of Jesus Christ. It has been 40 days since Easter and surely, the disciples have been convinced it was the Lord. The disciples’ doubt referred to their hesitancy to make a commitment to Jesus. No problem with Jesus. Problem was with the disciples. Just like us!

*Photo by author, inside the Chapel of the Ascension on the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, 2017.*

We recently celebrated our silver anniversary in the priesthood. All six of us classmates unanimously agree on the tremendous grace of still being priests after 25 years despite our many flaws. Most of all, amid our doubts and hesitancy 25 years ago if we could really be that faithful and good as priests of Jesus Christ. That was the doubt of the disciples. “Makaya ko kaya yung ipinag-utos ni Lord?” must be the question nagging them that moment.

Or, that doubt of the disciples may be likened with the doubts of a man and a woman getting married, both so afraid with the vows and commitments they would make if they could really be faithful and loving to each other, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.”

Remember that the Resurrection of Jesus did not instantly lead to a perfect faith for his followers who experienced it. They were still grappling with everything but have already embraced Jesus. There is no doubt with their love in Jesus. They were afraid for themselves they might fail, they might not measure up to Jesus whom they have failed on Holy Thursday and Good Friday. They were still wavering in their understanding and commitment to the Lord.

That is the good news of the Ascension – that amid all those doubts and hesitancies of his disciples, Jesus still believed in them, entrusting his mission to them, including us today. Imagine how everyday when we wake up, Jesus reminds us to “ascend” in him and with him to a higher level of relationship with the Father through one another in the exercise of our duties and responsibilities, in fulfilling our vows to God, to the Church, or to the country, to your wife, to your husband, to your office.

Like his disciples on that Ascension day, Jesus continues to entrust to us his Church his mission to the world because he believes in us even though he knows very well our imperfect faith.

Of course, it is difficult to make a complete and irrevocable commitment especially when there is the slightest doubt within us; but, most often what we do is to still make that bold step forward to grow deeper in that faith in God and with others than reduce or remove that little faith we have. This is most true as we have experienced in our relationships, that is why we celebrate anniversaries.

*Photo by author, pilgrims waiting entrance into the Chapel of Ascension, May 2019.*

Have you noticed how these past ten years young lovers celebrate “monthsaries” that sometimes look so cheesy and baduy? It was only recently have a realized how our young people are really serious with their relationships, with things of the heart like faith, hope and love. Their celebrations of their “monthsaries” indicate how the young generation desires long term relationships, celebrating each month of triumph over their initial doubts of keeping their love alive.

Even parents these days post pictures of the “monthsaries” of their babies to show how they have grown since birth which also indicate how the parents themselves have grown and matured despite so many odds and doubts within them in nursing, nurturing the life of another person, of their offspring.

These are all indications of our imperfect faith that gets perfected, gets deeper and stronger in the passing of each day every time we assert it. Not when we discard it. Try recalling those instances when you doubted your abilities in fulfilling a mission or assignment, in keeping a relationship and see how far you have gone now in life.

*Photo by author, part of the site believed where Jesus stepped on his Ascension inside the Chapel of the Ascension, Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, May 2017.*

Nobody is perfect. Everyone, including the most accomplished and successful people among us have our strengths and weaknesses. We all have our different areas of doubts we still struggle up to this time but that does not diminish the faith we possess. In fact, that is how our faith have grown deeper, our love perfected while our relationships leveled up higher than before.

This Sunday, Jesus does not only command us to fulfill his mission entrusted to us more than 2000 years ago through his eye-witnesses who made up the first community of disciples.

We who comprise this community of disciples today are likewise assured of Christ’s grace for us to grow in our faith and commitment to him.

Like in the first reading, we are reminded by the angels not to be idle nor complacent but instead to go out to fulfill Christ’s mission of proclaiming his gospel in words and in deeds.

Every Sunday we proclaim our faith in Christ’s death and resurrection until he comes again. That second coming belongs to our time. St. Paul is encouraging us in the second reading “to enlighten the eyes of our hearts” (Eph. 1:18) to realize how God had done everything and continues to do everything in Christ for us to mature in our faith, helping us in every step of our journey as disciples of Jesus. We cannot see the whole path of the journey but each step forward is enough for us to progress in our faith expressed in our loving service to one another.

This is the gist of the Pope’s Message for this Sunday’s World Communication Day, of “Speaking with the heart” which means to communicate in love and in truth, not with lies and fake news. To speak with the heart is to have a heart opened to love in strengthening our relationships not in destroying them like what is happening in the world with so much divisions and polarizations. Speaking with the heart means leaving behind our mistrust and doubts for one another in order to make that bold step toward peace by recognizing each one as a brother and sister in Christ. Amen. Have a blessed week ahead!

Everytime You Go Away (1980) by Hall & Oates

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 May 2023

*Photo by author, Jesuit Cemetery at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 March 2023.*

Hello dear friends! After almost a year of absence, we are back with our featured music we find related with our Sunday Mass gospel yesterday when Jesus told his disciples to keep his commandment of love as he prepared them for his approaching Passion, Death, and Resurrection leading to his Ascension.

In our homily, we have reflected that loving entails suffering.

And the most painful suffering in loving is when our beloved leaves us, whether temporarily or permanently like in death (https://lordmychef.com/2023/05/14/loving-living-leaving/) or infidelity of a partner in any relationship.

The song “Everytime You Go Away” captures that pain of leaving, of being left behind by a beloved because every leaving tears him apart as she takes a piece of him.

And everytime you go away
You take a piece of me with you
And everytime you go away
You take a piece of me with you, you

Sharing with you that part of our homily yeterday:

“Leaving is the most painful part of loving because every time a beloved leaves us, he/she takes a part of us, leaving us hollowed for the rest of our lives. The pain remains, leaving a hole in us. We merely transcend and move on but that hole remains. This is where loving and living become most challenging, most beautiful as they lead us to more amazing revelations as Christ had promised: “And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him” (Jn.14:21).

When we continue to love and live despite our loved ones leaving us, we soon realize that life is actually more of a series of coming than of leaving. When children leave home to go to college, they come to new sage in their lives; when they get married and leave home, they come to form their own family too! When a beloved leaves us in death, he/she comes to eternal life.

Meanwhile, we who are left behind live on, loving amid the pains of a beloved’s leaving, risking and hoping in love. That is when new things open up for us as we slowly discover many other things that do not necessarily replace the one we love and left us but actually make them more present in their absence. That is because we sooner or later find out that we have become like the ones we love who have left us! We are slowly transformed by their physical absence because their leaving had pushed us to love more that in the process, we have become like them. Is it not that is the reason of love, that we become like the one we love, be it God or another person?”

Everytime You Go Away was composed by Daryl Hall in 1980 that was included in their studio album Voices with John Oates. It was covered by Paul Young in 1985 and became an instant hit worldwide.

We prefer the Hall & Oates original not only because we are a big fan of the dynamic duo ever since the 80’s but we find Paul Young’s version so pop and light, even cheesy. Daryl Hall’s version is still the best, so heart-felt rendition as you could feel his soul in his impressive vocals that are so powerful yet, so lovingly muy simpatico! Here is a man truly in love despite the pains and hurts by his girlfriend’s leaving and infidelity. Worth mentioning too are the great instrumentations so characteristic of every Hall & Oates music that are mostly considered now as classics.

Hear now and listen to Hall & Oates’ Everytime You Go Away… fall in love again despite the loss.

We have no intentions of infringing into the copyrights of this music and its uploader except to share its beauty and listening pleasure.

Loving, living, leaving

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Sixth Sunday in Easter-A, 14 May 2023
Acts 8:5-8, 14-17 ><}}}*> 1 Peter 3:15-18 ><}}}*> John 14:15-21

*Photo by author, sunrise at Katmon Nature Sanctuary & Beach Resort, Infanta, Quezon, 04 March 2023.*

Jesus continues with his final teachings at their last supper on that Holy Thursday evening. This Sunday we hear him giving an aspect of his most important lesson of all which is to love: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments… In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him” (Jn.14:15,19-21).

Today is the last installment of the important lessons Jesus gave during their last supper because next Sunday will be his Ascension. That is why our gospel today is so compact and so rich we could summarize into three words – loving, living, and leaving.

Loving is more than a feeling that may sometimes be high, sometimes low. Or even zero. Love is a decision, a choice we make everyday which we affirm with our actions, not just with mere words nor intentions. And the truest sign that we love is when we are able to love another person more than our self.

Love is having less of “I” and “me”, and more of “others”. If we put it in an equation, when the word “live” is replaced with an “o”, it becomes love. That is, to live is to love. When we love truly like Jesus Christ, that is when we are living meaningfully.

There comes a time in our lives that material things, even fame and name, honor and titles would no longer satisfy us. There comes a time in our lives when despite everything we have we still feel empty inside because no one is an island. No one lives by himself nor for himself alone. We live for others. We can never find our life’s meaning simply in ourselves. All our careers, passion, and dedication are propelled by our finding meaning in others that is why we serve, we sacrifice, we share and give ourselves to others.

It is difficult but that is the way it is with love. Love is always outward bound in movement, never inward. It is never private but always expressed with others. That is why Thomas Merton wrote that “Love is not only a special way of being alive, it is the perfection of life. He who loves is more alive and more real than he was when he did not love.”

The other Sunday we have reflected that when we love, there is the movement of getting nearer with the one we love which leads to oneness and unity so that his/her joy becomes your joy, his/her pain becomes your pain too. Hence, true love always entails suffering especially when more than being near, we become obedient to show and prove how far can our love go for our beloved. (See https://lordmychef.com/2023/04/29/jesus-the-good-shepherd-our-gate/)

That is why Jesus asked his disciples including us today to obey his commandments which is all about loving God through others.

Most of all, inasmuch as loving leads to living, deeper loving is found in every leaving. If we truly love Jesus, we must be willing to suffer too like him. And always, a greater part of that suffering in every loving and living is in leaving.

Love entails suffering. Like life. From the very start we all came into this world in pain and suffering – kicking and crying from our mother’s womb to be alive. That is why it is proper the world has designated every third Sunday of May as mothers’ day because they know very well that love entails suffering. And the greatest suffering we go through in life, in love is leaving or separation.

In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live.

Simple words yet so mysterious. Literally speaking, Jesus was telling his disciples about his coming Passion, Death, Resurrection and Ascension. He is leaving them soon physically yet would remain with them, living with them so they would live fully. Leaving may be painful but it is also a prelude to a deeper relationship. As they say, absence makes the heart fonder.

Leaving is the most painful part of loving because every time a beloved leaves us, he/she takes a part of us, leaving us hollowed for the rest of our lives. The pain remains, leaving a hole in us. We merely transcend and move on but that hole remains. This is where loving and living become most challenging, most beautiful as they lead us to more amazing revelations as Christ had promised: “And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him” (Jn.14:21).

Lately as I age, every morning as I looked at the mirror, the more I see my beloved late dad. Old relatives. especially his siblings and cousins always tell me whenever we would meet that I am a carbon-copy of my late dad.

That is how the gospel spread as we heard in the first reading: after the Pentecost, the disciples went on to love and live as Jesus had taught them. Many of them were like us who have never seen Jesus physically yet have kept on loving and living in him, being transformed somehow like him that caused many others to be added and kept in the fold of the Church.

Surely one of them who have mastered this art and grace of loving and living amid the many leaving are the mothers who made us experienced being touched and loved by God.

May we heed St. Peter’s call in the second reading to “Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope” (1Pt.3:15) making the Lord really present among us in little acts of kindness and goodness in this world filled with so many sins and evil that many wonder where God is. Our little steps of loving and living are like little candles in the dark; we may not see the whole path ahead but when we look back, we find we have advanced greatly, almost nearing our destination. Amen. Have a blessed week ahead!