Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-09 ng Hulyo, 2020
Larawan kuha ni G. Jay Javier, 2020.
Kapansin-pansin
mula nang dumating sa atin
itong COVID-19:
pairalin at palaganapin ba naman
kabobohan at katangahan
kaya't karahasan at kasamaan
unang naranasan at nasaksihan
ng mga mamamayan
kesa ang karamdaman.
Alalahanin paanong maliitin
ng mga upisyal banta ng COVID-19:
nahiyang patigilin pagdating
ng mga dayuhan sa atin
patriotism daw ang pairalin
uminom ng maraming vitamin,
resistensiya palakasin,
nagbanta pa ang magaling
kanya raw itong sasampalin?
Nang ang virus ay kumalat
sumambulat kapabayaan at kawalan
ng ano mang plano nitong pamahalaan
datos ng mga bilang ng nahawahan
hanggang ngayon walang kaliwanagan;
halos walang pinatunguhan mahabang lockdown
ekonomiyang pinahahalagahan
pilit binubuksan habang sarado naman
mga isipan ng mga hunghang, mamamayan nahirapan.
Social distancing pinagdiriinan
sa atin na parang alipin
hindi nila alintana ang kaba
ng mawalan ng kikitain at pagkain;
kay hirap bang isipin
face mask ay hubarin
kung ika'y kakain o mayroong iinumin?
Wala silang ibang gustong gawain
kungdi sisihin ng sisihin pati na rin mga dolphin!
Napakaraming pinahihirapan, pinagmamalupitan
hanggang humantong sa kamatayan ng ilan
pagdiriinan ng mga patakaran
gayong silang nasa kapangyarihan
ang palaging lumalabag
walang kahihiyang nangangatuwiran
upang pagtakpan kanilang kapalaluan
kaya hindi maramdaman kanilang slogan
"we heal as one" na malayo sa katotohanan.
Itong kabobohan at katangahan
uri ng kasamaan, pinagmumulan ng kasalanan
parang isang sakit na asymptomatic:
hindi alam o ayaw malaman
na mayroong karamdaman kaya nagkakahawahan;
at ang masaklap na katotohanan
akala ng mga sunud-sunurang karamihan
karunungan, kahusayan kanilang nasasaksihan
gayong pare-pareho lang silang walang nalalaman!
Magkaiba ang tanga
at mahina ang isipan;
nahahasa, napapatalim
mapurol na isip ngunit ang katangahan
ay kalagayan na kung saan
biyaya ng isipan ay sinasayang, pinababayaan
dahil sa katamaran at kasakiman
sariling kaluguran at kapakanan lang pinahahalagahan
walang pakialam kung mayroong masaktan o mahirapan.
Kung ating pagninilayan
ang mga santo at santa ang mga tunay
na marurunong dahil sa kanilang kaisipan
walang nanaig kungdi kabutihan;
wala sa pinag-aralan ang karunungan
kungdi sa busilak ng kalooban
kaya naman huwag nang pagtakhan
itong mga puno ng kasamaan
ay puro katangahan at kahangalan!
Mga larawan kasama na yaong sa itaas ay mga kuha ni G. Raffy Tima ng GMA-7 News, Abril 2020.
The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Week XIV, Year II in Ordinary Time, 09 July 2020
Hosea 11:1-4, 8-9 >><}}}*> >><}}}*> >><}}}*> Matthew 10:7-15
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019 in Carigara, Leyte.
This is the fourth straight day, O God when you have come to me in the most touching and personal manner through your prophet Hosea. It is so comforting to dwell on the tenderness of your love for me but at the same time so embarrassing too at what I have given back to you.
Thus says the Lord: When Israel was a child I loved him, out of Egypt I called my son. The more I called them, the farther they were from me, sacrificing to the Baals and burning incense to idols. Yet it was I who thought Ephraim to walk, who took them in my arms. I drew them with human cords, with bands of love; I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks. Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know I was their healer.
Hosea 11:1-7
These expressions are so true and so lovely, O God! I could feel your personal closeness to me as my Father, feeling all your love and concern for me, teaching me how to walk, taking me into your arms. And most especially that part of being fostered and raised like an infant to a father’s cheeks.
That’s how close you have been to me in many instances but sadly, it is true that the more you called me to stay closer to you, the more I drifted apart from you in sin and evil.
Forgive me, dearest God our Father, in taking you for granted in the same manner we I disregard the love and affection of those closest to me.
And that is where I feel most your personal love for me — when despite my sinfulness and turning away from you, you prefer not to give vent to your “blazing anger” to me because you are God, not human.
In fact, when your Son Jesus Christ came, his first order to his disciples was to cure the sick among us, raise the dead, cleanse lepers and exorcise those possessed by evil spirits. You only have our good always in your mind that we always fail to see or even refuse to accept and believe.
Today, Lord, we ask you for the grace to bask in your goodness and grace! Amen.
Photo by author, Church of the Our Father outside Jerusalem where Jesus taught his disciples the Lord’s Prayer.
The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Week XIV, Year II in Ordinary Time, 07 July 2020
Hosea 8:4-7, 11-13 >><)))*> <*(((><< Matthew 9:32-38
Photo by author, 2019.
Forgive us, O Lord, for the many times we have played gods, knowing too much when in fact we know nothing at all. So often, we never consult you and rely more in our limited understanding and perception of things that in the end lead to more woes and problems for us.
Thus says the Lord: They make kings in Israel, but not by my authority; they established princes, but without my approval. With their silver and gold they made idols for themselves, to their own destruction. Cast away your calf, O Samaria! my wrath is kindled against them. How long will they be unable to attain innocence in Israel? The work of an artisan no god at all; destined for the flames — such is the calf of Samaria! When they sow the wind, they shall reap the whirlwind; the stalk of grain that forms no ear can yield no flour; even if it could, strangers would swallow it.
Hosea 8:4-7
When will we ever learn, Lord?
We always have our own golden calf to worship, turning away from you, the only true God, fount of all life and meaning, grace and fulfillment. We keep doing things according to our plans, each of us desiring to outdo each other, turning away from you.
How sad that whenever you try to intervene and save us or bring us back into the right course of life, we see you more as coming from the devil. Forgive us, Lord, in making it so difficult even for you to be in the right place in our lives for we are so full of ourselves.
And that is really how it is with us: we always feel so troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd but would never admit it, replacing persons with material things not realizing that life is meant to be lived with people not with things.
Create in us an awareness of your presence, of your love so we may be more attuned with you and the people around us. Amen.
Photo by author of plants growing on rocks at the Holy Land, 2019.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music by Fr. Nick F. Lalog II, 05 July 2020
At that time Jesus exclaimed: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
If there is anything we all wish this first Sunday of July 2020, it must be rest from all the worries and burdens in this time of the corona. We all want something that would be lighter in this second half of the heaviest year we have ever had in decades or even a generation.
Being light does not mean being worry-free, no problems nor sufferings. Dr. M. Scott Peck insists in his book Road Less Travelled that “life is difficult” – the sooner we realize and accept this, the better for us (see our homily, https://lordmychef.com/2020/07/04/we-are-disciples-of-a-meek-and-humble-lord/).
Being light is having a companion to share with our burdens and woes in life because having these all by ourselves is so difficult and impossible. Most of the time, our problems need not be solved at all but simply be accepted and shared with someone who loves us, cares for us, and believes in us.
Jesus Christ is that only companion par excellence we can have for he is meek and humble of heart.
Van Morrison’s lovely ballad Someone Like You released in 1987 captures this essential desire among us all to seek and forge many relationships.
I've been searching a long time
Someone exactly like you
I've been traveling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through
Someone like you makes it all worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied
Someone exactly like you
Though the song has become a staple in many weddings and in many romantic movies covered by various artists, Someone Like You sounds more like a spiritual song longing for God through our loved ones for he is always faithful and loving to us despite our many weaknesses and sins.
I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you makes it all worth while
Someone like you keeps me satisfied
Someone…
May Van Morrison’s song bring you closer to God through your loved ones as we continue to hurdle the many obstacles and trials ahead in this time of COVID-19.
One reason I have this blog on trying to link secular music with the Sunday gospel is the firm belief that God continues to speak to us through modern means of communications like music and films. Sometimes I feel that if Jesus were with us today, he might be instructing us priests to “feed my geeks” than “feed my sheep”.…..
For this Sunday we have the dynamic duo of Daryl Hall and John Oates — my most favorite group standing side by side with the late Walker Becker and Donald Fagen of Steely Dan.
Released in 1984 from their “Big Bam Boom” album, Possession Obsession is one of a kind in their long list of superb music with John Oates taking the front seat in this song unlike in their previous hits where it would always be Daryl taking the lead.
I have listened maybe a hundred times to Possession Obsession but it was only yesterday after preparing my Sunday homily that I have tried to internalize its lyrics, including the music video directed by Bob Giraldi who did Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”.
The song perfectly echoes the Sunday teaching today of Jesus Christ who said that
“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:39
Possession Obsession echoes Christ’s teaching this Sunday on life’s paradox wherein the more we give, the more we actually receive, that life is not about possession and having but about love, of giving and of sharing with others.
You know there's something you need
Right here and now
To fill the space inside of yourself
Money love or power
When you want to have the number one first run anyone
You're crazy 'til you own them
You ought to know better than that
The more that you buy the less you get back
It's a case of possession obsession
Gimme Gimme
The compulsion to count the percentage of time
Spent between two lovers
Can turn an hour into a crime
And all the good times suffer
Though you know it's only jealousy
You can't help but be
Haunted by your passion
Don't you know it's a matter of fact
The more that you take the less you give back
Just a taste of possession obsession
Brings a case of possession obsession
Gimme Gimme
Watch closely too this music video set inside a cab with John Oates as driver, taking different passengers in all the different forms of “love” understood these days, far from the truth witnessed to us by Jesus Christ.
In fact, it is one of the first music video to present two men holding hands as lovers at the back of John’s cab with one of the men looking like the late David Bowie (?).
At the last sequence of the music video is a beautiful presentation of giving and loving when Hall and Oates were in their usual attires in a cafe, competing in “possessing” the sugar dispenser. Hall prevailed and right before putting sugar into his coffee, he changed his mind and slid the sugar dispenser to Oates at the other end of the bar table.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
XIIIth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year A, 28 June 2020
2 Kings 4:8-11, 14-16 >><)))*>Romans 6:3-4, 8-11 >><)))*> Matthew 10:37-42
Photo by author, Dome of the Chapel of Nativity at Shepherd’s Field, Bethlehem, the Holy Land, May 2019.
Jesus continues his lessons to us his disciples being sent to look for the “lost sheep of Israel”, to be not afraid for he is with us in this journey and mission. But, it is not enough that we have Jesus on our side and be present among us: we have to allow Jesus to take possession of us completely!
From having no fear because Jesus is here, Christ now deepens his presence by inviting us to be possessed by him, to be in communion with him.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Whoever loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:37-39
Photo by author, processional Cross at the altar, 2019.
The Mystery of the Cross
Discipleship in Jesus Christ is more than a total allegiance to him who is neither a demanding nor exacting Lord and Master for he does not arbitrarily impose himself upon us.
Nothing like that of subservience but something more lofty because it is wrapped in a mystery — a mystery of love freely given and shared to us by God even if we do not deserve it all. Remember the mystery of the Blessed Trinity four Sundays ago (June 07)?
Ever since, God has never imposed himself upon us, that we should love him back in return for he does not really need our love. He gave us the gift of freedom so that we may love him freely for he never imposes on us.
And here lies the beauty of discipleship, of this relationship we have with God that is based solely on love expressed to us in the most personal manner by giving us his Son Jesus Christ who suffered and died on the Cross but rose again on Easter. This we were reminded by the Solemnities of the Body and Blood of Jesus and of his Sacred Heart last June 14 and 19 respectively.
Now you see my dear readers the clearer picture of our liturgical celebrations expressing our concrete experiences of being loved by God in Jesus Christ most especially during times of trials and sufferings like in this COVID-19 pandemic.
It is Christ who made the initiative to be one with us in our pains and sufferings; God did not remove our crosses in life but made them holy in his Son Jesus Christ so that every time we go through life’s many difficulties, we share in the Lord’s Passion, Death, and Resurrection.
That is why, we are invited to take and carry our cross every day for it is through the Cross we are saved. It is not enough to simply believe in the person of Jesus but we need to accept and embrace his Cross because it is through which he had won our salvation by dying on it and rising again.
This is easier said than done. It is so difficult to love Jesus more than our loved ones like family and friends. And it is most difficult to love the Lord more than our selves, when we have to let go of our plans and agenda.
Letting go and letting God in itself is already crucifying — but that is when this mystery of Christ’s love and of his Cross deepens further when we lose ourselves in him!
Celebrating Mass without te congregation during the ECQ, March-April 2020.
Possessed by Christ
To be possessed by Jesus is to receive God and his gift of salvation through the mystery of Christ and his Cross. Like our Christian life, proclaiming the gospel carries with it the sign of the Cross of Christ.
We are not asked to reenact or reproduce his Crucifixion nor is Jesus asking us to be suicidal or go against our natural aspirations and dreams.
To be possessed by Jesus means we continue to take care of ourselves without neglecting the needs of others.
To be possessed by Jesus means being generous to others in the same manner Jesus has always been generous to us.
To be possessed by Jesus means to realize that every act of self-giving is really an act of receiving!
Photo by author, Malagos Park, Davao City, 2018.
That is the paradox of the Cross, of discipleship in Christ: “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Mt.10:40).
And that is also where the mystery of Christ’s love deepens because whatever we give is not really ours but Christ’s.
Every time we give love, it is the love of Jesus.
When we are kind and generous with others, it is the kindness and generosity of Jesus we give and share.
When we are patient and understanding to others, it is still the patience and understanding of Jesus in us.
Even if we give and share material things like money, food, clothing… whatever good we share and give are all from Jesus not from us.
And the more we give, the more we receive!
Have you noticed especially during this pandemic how the generous among us are now more blessed?
Wonder no more because you have allowed yourself to be possessed by Jesus Christ!
This is what the woman at Shumen had realized after welcoming the Prophet Elisha into her home in our first reading. She even gave him a room to stay every time he comes for his mission while the Lord provided all her needs, even rewarded her with a son as promised by Elisha.
When we allow Jesus to take over us, when we enter into communion in him and with him in his very life, we become more free to love, we strengthen our relationships with others, we wander less and worry less in life; most of all, we feel lightened in our burdens with the presence of Jesus giving us fullness of life in him.
This is the grace I hope we have seen from this quarantine period, especially those two months of lockdown when were freed from our usual grind and busyness with more time to be silent and still, to pray and reflect on our relationships with God and with others. It was a difficult and very trying period that had given in return a lot of opportunities to others.
Photo by author, Marcos Highway, 2019.
Dead to sin, alive to God
Brothers and sisters: We know that Christ, raised from the dead, dies no more; death no longer has power over him. As to his death, he died to sin once and for all; as to his life, he lives for God. Consequently, you too must think of yourselves as dead to sin and living for God in Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:9-11
It has been four months since houses of worship were ordered closed to help stop the spread of the corona virus. Somehow, the lockdown had made us realize the importance of receiving the Sacraments especially the Holy Eucharist.
But, sacraments are not everything for we have the bigger roles of putting into practice its reality of being the saving presence of Jesus Christ.
Now that lowly life is beginning to go back to its usual grind especially the traffic, soon we might forget again the more important things in life like God and our relationships in our family and friends that it is hoped we have rediscovered during the quarantine period.
That is why I strongly feel the government must now allow Churches to open so the people may experience again God in the sacraments and in our rites and rituals lest they get busy again with so many things only to miss finding anew the meaning of our lives found in silence and stillness before the Cross of Christ.
It is my hope that in this quarantine period, may we find through the Cross of Jesus that when we learn to submit and surrender to him, that is when we truly become free; and, when we lose and give away our lives to him, that is when we gain fullness of life in him. Amen.
A blessed week and a more abundant July to everyone!
Photo by author, Our Lady of Lourdes Chapel, the Grotto, Baguio City, 2019.
God our loving Father, I have been praying to you for so long, in fact almost in my entire life. But as I prayed over your words for today, it just dawned upon me that every “existential question”: when do I really call on you?
The attitude of your King in Jerusalem struck me while praying, wondering if I have the same attitude of having you first of all when things are not going good in my life.
Hezekiah took the letter from the hand of the messengers and read it; then he went up to the temple of the Lord, and spreading it out before him, he prayed in the Lord’s presence: “O Lord, God of Israel, enthroned upon the cherubim! You alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth… Therefore, O Lord, our God, save us from the power of this man, that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone, O Lord, are God.”
2 Kings 19:14-15, 19
What a deep faith and intimate relationship with you, Lord, by Hezekiah! He went straight up to you, even presenting to you the letter of the Assyrian king threatening to conquer Jerusalem at that time. He did not mind at all the warnings about the strength and power of the Assyrians because he only had you, Lord, in his mind and in his heart.
So often, Lord, I only come to you after I have exhausted my mind thinking about my problems and situations in life; I come to you when I can no longer find solutions; worst, I come to you after I have tried everything and had failed.
Forgive me, Father, when I only think of you as a last resort — instead of being my first always!
Maybe, that is because before ever coming to you, calling on you, Lord, I try doing things first on my own that is always be easy and quick. I have no patience of waiting and of going through sufferings and inconvenience especially through paths and doors.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gae is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. All those who find it are few.”
Matthew 7:13-14
Dearest Jesus Christ, you have come among us to bring us closest to the Father and yet we continue to remain far from him. Give us the grace today to be more intimate with God our Father so we may truly be centered on him in life, having him as our personal “default” in every situation, whether good or bad. Amen.
Lord My Chef Sunday Music by Fr. Nick F. Lalog II, 21 June 2020
A blessed happy Father’s Day to all the great dads of the world, especially those who have gone ahead of us and still watching us, guiding us, inspiring us.
Like David Gates who composed our Sunday Music today “Make It With You” in 1970, how I wish I could “make it to the other side climbing rainbows” to be with my dad even for a while to share him my joys and accomplishments, thanking him for all the love he had showered me with.
Hey have you ever tried
Really reaching out for the other side?
I may be climbing on rainbows
But, baby here goes
According to an interview I have read last year which I can no longer remember where, Gates had admitted that he wrote this song primarily for his late father, of how he wished his dad were still around to see him successful as a composer and a musician.
It was only during its recording when they fine-tuned his composition to make it a love song that eventually became the theme song of so many couples and lovers during the 70’s up to this time that the popular group Ben&Ben made a cover early this year for a movie or a series.
See how the song is not just a flight of fantasy or a dream but something so real within, something those of us who are so close with our dads that even if they are now in eternal rest, we can still feel their presence among us.
Dreams they're for those who sleep
Life is for us to keep
And if you're wond'ring
What this song is leading to
I want to make it with you
I really think that we can make it, girl
In our Sunday Gospel today, we find Jesus telling us not to be afraid in fulfilling our missions in life for he is always with us, ensuring that “we make it through” with him and in him.
That is what makes a dad so special: he is full of courage, facing every fear in life to ensure his family can make it through in this life.
And just maybe, dads are always the first to go to heaven because even in eternal life, they still see to it “we make it through” here on earth and to eternity, but not so soon.
Life can be short or long
Love can be right or wrong
And if I choose the one
I'd like to help me through
I'd like to make it with you
I really think that we can make it, girl
Cheers to all the dads who face all fears, both here and hereafter! Amen.
*Photos of my dad Wilfredo Sr. who died June 17, 2000, the 61st birthday of my mom. He is most happy with my mom with whom he is so faithful.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-19 ng Hunyo 2020
Napakahirap isipin
masakit tanggapin
sinapit maraming
kababayan natin
na hanggang ngayon
hindi pa rin nakakauwi
upang sariling pamilya'y
makapiling.
Pinakamasakit nilang
dinanas na sila'y ituring
kaiba sa atin; matagal na
hindi pinansin
walang nakabatid
sa kanilang mga hinaing
hanggang sa bumantad na lamang
sila sa ating paningin sa TV screen.
Matay ko mang isipin
sa panahon ito ng COVID-19
marami pa rin sa atin
hindi lang sumpungin
pag-uugali'y karimarimarim
salita'y matatalim
nakakasakit ng damdamin
wala na bang buting angkin?
Sa panahong ito ng pandemya
na ang banta ng kamatayan ay tunay na tunay
kabiyak o kapatid, kaibigan o kasamahan
o sino pa man ay tila nalilimutang
kapwa ring nahihirapan, nabibigatan
sa halip na tulungan, iniiwanan;
sa halip na kalooban ay pagaanin
ito'y sinasaktan pati na rin katawan.
Kapistahan ng Kamahal-Mahalang Puso ni Hesus; larawan kuha ni G. Gelo Nicolas Carpio, 19 Hunyo 2020.
Kaya aking dalangin
sana'y tupdin ng Panginoong Hesus
ating hiling gawin ang mga puso natin
katulad ng kanyang Puso,
maamo at mahabagin
puno ng kanyang pag-ibig
bawat tibok ay tigib
ng kabutihan Niyang angkin.
Mabuti pa ang puno ng saging
madalas na biro natin: may puso kesa atin!
Sana'y alisin Mo, Hesus, pusong bato namin
palitan ng pusong laman sa Iyo nakalaan
huwag naming panghinayangang kabutihan Mo'y ipamigay
huwag rin kaming maghintay ng Iyong sukling ibibigay
bagkus ay magmahal nang magmahal
hanggang kami'y mamatay at sa Iyong piling mahimlay.
*Mga larawan sa “collage” sa itaas ay mula kay G. Raffy Tima ng GMA News; ang nasa gitna na larawang ng imaheng bato ni Hesus ay mula Google.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 17 June 2020
Today is my mother’s 81st birthday and my father’s 20th year of death.
Since June 17, 2000, we have “stopped” celebrating my mother’s birthday as she ordered that date to be remembered more as my father’s birth into heaven.
So many things have happened in our lives as a family, most especially with me as a man and a priest being the eldest.
Yes, I always dread this date, feeling at a loss until now at how to behave or what to say when I come home. There is always a “drama” we have to go through when we get together, with a lot of “dead air” moments during Mass and later at the dinner table.
Though somehow they have lessened in these past 20 years, the sadness is still there.
I thought time heals.
True.
But the pain remains. And the more it gets painful.
Lalong bumabaon, as we say.
With her apos when still able to move freely; Sunday after Mass was always at my father’s gravesite.
Since her 61st birthday, Mamu as she preferred to be called when the apos came, she had “stopped” living because my dad was really her life. We believe her sorrow contributed to her stroke in December 2004.
Growing up until I have become a priest, I have always seen my father preparing coffee and breakfast daily for her. She had in fact forgotten how to cook or learn new dishes because my father was a superb cook — that is why we all have gout in the family.
Most of all, as I would always tell my students before, since childhood until I have become a priest, dad never ate his meals without Mamu at his side or at least to personally tell him to eat because she had gone to a party or some prayer meeting.
Every Sunday after my Masses in a nearby town, I would visit my father’s grave and surely find fresh flowers and candles earlier placed by my mom and sister’s family.
After praying and blessing his gravesite, I would talk to him, telling him, “Dad, there are 365 days in a year. Why did you die on June 17, 2000?”
It took my father more than a year before answering my question.
Yes, he spoke to me in his usual deep, whispering voice I heard from within as I looked down on his grave, “Nick, I died on your mother’s birthday so you would love her more like I have loved her.”
Tears swelled in my eyes and eventually rolled down my cheeks that I almost watered the grass on his gravesite!
It was a very tall order that until now, I really do not know if I have fulfilled.
Mothers are like God
God cannot be everywhere that is why He created mothers.
Jewish saying
Every Thursday I come home to visit Mamu on my day off, as well as during special occasions and gatherings like birthdays of my siblings and pamangkins.
Sometimes I ask myself if I have loved my mom that much as my dad had wanted me to.
This comes strongest to me when going to a sick mother in my parish to anoint with Holy Oil or when presiding at a funeral Mass of a deceased mother; I would listen intently to the “thank you speech” of a son or a daughter and marvel at how great his/her love for the deceased parent.
As a priest, I have always been with so many mothers but not so much with my own mom. But one thing I have experienced since my father died on my mother’s birthday 20 years ago is the life that continues to flow from her very self and presence which flows unto me and spills even up to my parish and community.
My mom as a teenager.
She’s from the “old school” who had taught me a lot about sacrifices, of keeping things in order like telling me after lunch that while resting, I should mop the floor and dust off the jalousies of our windows downstairs. Resting meant doing something worthwhile like removing cobwebs at ceilings; so, you can just imagine what is housecleaning for her!
Another thing I have learned from her is harimunan wherein you try to save little amounts of money with things you may forego like instead of taking tricycle, I walked for three kilometers or instead of buying soda, drink from the water fountain at school.
The only lesson that I have refused to learn from her which I now admit I should have taken into heart is the art of bargaining or asking “tawad” in the “palengke” (market). It is a gift from God I think reserved for mothers.
One important lesson I have learned from Mamu came via a picture I have found in a copy of a Reader’s Digest. I was five years old then while scanning the new copy of my dad’s magazine, I saw the picture of a baby crying so hard after being delivered.
I asked her why the baby was crying and her explanation had stuck into my mind since then that later as a priest I realized it so existentially true! According to her, when a baby is born crying, that means she/he is alive; if the baby does not cry, that means she/he is dead.
So simple yet so deep.
When we cry, we are alive.
And sometimes, to be alive, we have to cry. A lot.
And I believe that is why mothers continue to give life to us despite the passing away of their husband because they are the ones who cry a lot.
Mothers cry in silence, alone because they are the ones who can truly feel the flowing of life, the slipping away of life.
In a few hours I will be coming home and I could already visualize and feel my mother’s crying on her birthday.
As much as possible I hold my tears, praying that in God’s time, we would just be the ones crying so that finally, Mamu would no longer be crying.
But, that’s another thing I dread so very much…I hope not yet that soon because I really do not know how life will be for me and my siblings.
Thank God for all the Mothers who have given and nurtured our lives even in old age.
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