The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Memorial of St. Pope Pius X, 21 August 2023
Judges 2:11-19 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> Matthew 19:16-22
Photo by author, La Trinidad, Benguet, 11 July 2023.
It is nice to be back here in Baguio City, this time with my brother priests for our annual clergy retreat at the St. Scholastica Spirituality Center. As usual, we started our brief “vacare Deo” with the Holy Mass and the gospel brought me to the start of my vocation history in elementary school as I found myself in that young man asking Jesus almost the same question:
a young man approached Jesus and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?” He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments… If you wish to be perfect, go sell, what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.
Matthew 19:16-17, 21-22
Photo by author, Sacristy of the Manila Cathedral, 07 July 2023.
Indeed, there is only One good, God himself. Him is what we all seek in life. St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross – St. Edith Stein – said anyone who seeks the truth seeks God, whether or not he realizes it.”
That is easier. In fact, it is God who seeks and finds us always. Not us. Our own seeking for him is a pure grace from him.
The problematique is seeking what is good.
Especially after finding God.
And that is priesthood, which is to constantly affirm and and say yes to God.
More than just obeying his commandments, doing what is good is saying yes to God every day, choosing him above all things and even person, even one’s self! Many times, I must admit, I have been like the Israelites in the first reading: after having God’s immense blessings in life, I turn away from him with my many other new gods.
What is really good who is God is contrary to what is good according to the world like wealth and power, pleasures and comforts, fame and honor, adulations and recognition, and so many other things that exaggerate our bloated ego especially in this age of instant fame and glory. They are not really good because they wane and dissipate like every wealth the world offers. Worst, when gone, we are left empty.
Photo by author, St. Scholastica Spirituality Center, Baguio City, 21 August 2023.
There is only One good, God himself whom we must only have as our only wealth, our only treasure, our only valuable. And to have him, we must divest ourselves of our worldly riches, of everything that massages and inflates our ego.
How lovely is that scene when Matthew noted “A young man approached Jesus”.
That is the beauty of every retreat, of every sabbath break. We become young again, we go back to our beginning when we were so simple in seeking what is good. How sad that after finding God in Jesus, we become old not in age but in our face, in our heart because we have become sad and saddled with our many possessions that possess us!
Lord Jesus Christ,
thank you for this retreat,
thank you for making me young again,
for making me go back
to those days of innocence,
of simplicity in seeking you,
in having you,
and being like you;
help me "divest" of myself,
empty me of my pride
and other "possessions"
to fill me with your humility,
justice and love.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Feast of St. John Marie Vianney, Patron of Priests, 04 August 2023
Leviticus 23:1, 4-11, 15-16, 27, 34-37 ><}}}*> + <*{{{>< Matthew 13:54-58
Photo by author, Manila Cathedral Sacristy, 07 July 2023.
Praise and glory to you,
God our Father for the gift of
St. John Marie Vianney,
our Patron Saint,
your priests!
Oh what a glorious day
is this day falling on a
First Friday,
a day special to the
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus,
our Eternal Priest.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you, Lord.
From the very start
as we have heard from
the Book of Leviticus
in the first reading,
you have set special
days of celebrations
to remember you and
your saving works;
at its service are
your priests.
Always.
But, no...
We are not the center
of your festivals, Lord,
but your mere servants;
how sad that since then
in the wilderness
down to your Temple
up to our own time
in these beautiful churches
we celebrate the Holy Mass,
we your priests have
consciously or unconsciously
turned attention and focus
onto ourselves.
Mea culpa, mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa!
Forgive us your priests
for playing God,
O merciful Father.
Help us to keep coming back
to Nazareth like your Son Jesus;
let us get lost in the hiddenness
and silence of Nazareth;
let us be at home with you
in the obscurity and nothingness
of Nazareth;
let us welcome too the
rejections of Nazareth
like Jesus our Eternal Priest.
In all these 25 years as a priest,
my prayer to you dear God
remains the same:
Lord, you have given me
with so much
and I have given you so little;
teach me to give more
of myself,
more of YOU.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A, 02 July 2023
2 Kings 4:8-11, 14-16 ><}}}}*> Romans 6:3-4, 8-11 ><}}}}*> Matthew 10:37-42
Photo by author, Our Lady of Fatima University-Quezon City with the La Mesa Dam Forest Reserve at the back, 01 July 2023.
Jesus continues to instruct the Twelve with important lessons on discipleship as he sent them on their first mission the other week. Last Sunday he taught them – including us today – to face all fears not to be fearless of anything or anyone but to fear only God.
Today, Jesus cautions us not to be unduly influenced by people especially those closest to us in fulfilling our mission in him. Very often, intimidation and influence can be used to adversely affect our ministry that eventually veer us away from our Lord Jesus Christ in the process. Hence, his encouragement too for us to persevere through those influences as we follow him.
Jesus said to his apostles: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:37-39
James J. Tissot, ‘The Exhortation to the Apostles’ (1886-94) from Getty Images.
Being a Christian is being possessed by Christ. That is why he told us last week to “be not afraid of those who kill the body but not the soul” so that we fear only him our Lord Jesus Christ in the sense that we lose all meaning in life without him.
To be possessed by Jesus Christ is to have a life centered in him, detached from undue influences including from our family and friends especially us priests and religious. When priests focus more with self and family or with other people instead of Jesus Christ, everything crumbles – pati sutana nalaglag na! That is when priesthood becomes a career and a means for social mobility and livelihood with money as the priest’s new “lord and master”.
Priesthood is Jesus Christ, the Caller, not the call as I have always insisted to seminarians I teach and direct. Problems happen when the Caller is dislodged from the top spot and focus shifts on the call or priesthood when priests literally and figuratively throw their weight around when we hear the notorious lines “matutulog ang pari, pagod and pari, unawain ang pari”.
Photo by Ka Ruben, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, August 2022.
Discipleship in general of which the priesthood is just a part is indeed a very difficult life. Nobody said it would be easy as the opening instructions of Jesus to the Twelve clearly stated, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.”
Jesus is not asking us to disregard our family and friends. What Jesus is telling us is actually a warning against too much expectations that our family and friends would love and embrace him too inasmuch as we have given ourselves to him. Not true at all, sad to say.
There are times that those closest to us are the ones who could not accept Jesus Christ’s call of discipleship. There are times that the most difficult people to be catechized and evangelized are those dearest to us.
Many of us must have felt in many instances how our family or friends are the ones who reject the ways of Jesus, the values of Christ. In this highly competitive world so exaggerated by the social media when everyone feels so entitled and deserving for everything, people have become so impersonal in dealing with each other, forgetting the basic courtesies in life, especially respect and kindness. Many are blinded by fame and wealth forgetting God and the people around them.
Photo by Mr. Mon Macatangga, 12 May 2023.
This Sunday, Jesus is teaching us to always have him as the basis and foundation of our relationships. Remember the gospel two Sundays ago when upon seeing the crowds Jesus was “moved with pity because they were troubled and abandoned like sheep without a shepherd” that he taught us to pray for more workers in the harvest (Mt.9:36-37). The problems in the world can never be solved by money and any material thing but only by another person, by someone with the heart and face of Christ filled with his warmth and his loving presence, someone not afraid to love, not afraid to get hurt, not influenced by fads and trends or by what others say.
Everything in this life, in our ministry and in our discipleship has to be seen in the light of Jesus Christ. Things become cloudy or dull and shady when Jesus is absent that can greatly affect, for better or for worse, our relationships with one another. This we see in the first reading about the hospitality offered by that Shumenite woman to Elisha the prophet whom she recognized as a man of God. Elisha clearly saw the woman’s basis of hospitality – God – that he never abused it. In fact, we find a trace of humor when Elisha had to ask his servant what their graceful hostess most needed to reward her hospitality. Sometimes like Elisha in our being so focused in serving the Lord, we become so ignorant of the most obvious with those closest to us; imagine Elisha asking his servant what to reward the Shumenite woman, his seeming oblivious to the fact she and husband were childless! Eventually, Elisha would grant the couple the gift of a son whom he would later bring back to life.
At my 25th anniversary of ordination to the priesthood with friends from UST’s the Varsitarian, 18 April 2023.
To be possessed by Christ means to be “dead to sin and living for God in Christ Jesus” as St. Paul explained in our second reading today (Rom.6:11). For some it may sound foolish but that is the reality and mystery of life we have been reflecting since the resumption of Ordinary Time last month. It is what we call as Christian paradox when in our sharing in Christ’s paschal mystery of his suffering and death, that is also when we find and experience our resurrection and life.
Last Monday, a very dear friend died, Sr. Gina of the Religious of Good Shepherd. We met in 1984 when I joined UST’s the Varsitarian where she was an outgoing staff member. She was the one who proclaimed the first reading at my celebration of my 25th anniversary of ordination to the priesthood last April 18.
Photo by author, Chapel of the RGS Mother House in Quezon City, 29 June 2023.
When I first invited her to my anniversary, she declined due to a big retreat of priests at their spirituality center in Tagaytay; within a few hours, she texted me back and told me she would fix her schedule so she could come to my anniversary celebration. She later texted me twice to insist she had to be present at my silver anniversary.
Unknown to us all, her cancer had recurred and metastasized last November which we learned only June 28 when the RGS Sisters issued a health bulletin about her condition. Sr. Gina had decided to stop all medications to wait for the inevitable at their mother house in Quezon City two weeks earlier. June 29 she texted me to inform me of her condition. I was so happy to chat a few lines with her, asking her if I could visit her this week.
She never replied.
When I learned her condition the other Wednesday night, I cried as I realized the very reason why she insisted on coming to my anniversary in April: to remind me we are possessed by Jesus, only Jesus, always Jesus. Please pray for her beautiful soul. Thank you and God bless!
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle A, 18 June 2023
Exodus 19:2-6 ><}}}}*> Romans 5:6-11 ><}}}}*> Matthew 9:36-10:8
Photo by Ms. April Oliveros at Mt. Pulag, March 2023.
I recently had a long lunch that extended to a longer dinner recently with a good friend who was widowed last January. It was the first time we met again after the funeral of her husband who died three weeks after I had anointed him last Christmas Day.
She was still grieving and yes, angry with God why her husband had to go at an early age. She told me how during her daily prayers she would complain to God, and how she wanted her husband to be still alive, not minding at all of nursing him again.
Likewise, she was worried God might be fed up with her, even mad and angry with her negative feelings and attitudes even though she prays and celebrates Mass more often these days since her husband’s demise.
Photo by Ms. April Oliveros at Mt. Pulag, March 2023.
Does God get angry with us?
The psalmist says, “But you, Lord, are a merciful and gracious God, slow to anger, most loving and true” (Ps. 86:15). If God is slow to anger, does it mean he gets angry, even sometimes?
No. Never.
God does not get angry at all because God is love. God is perfect unlike us who easily get angry and could remain angry over a long period of time because we are imperfect. But God, who is also spirit, does not have emotions, neither gets angry nor irritated with us and yet, always one with us in our feelings especially when we are down in pain and sufferings.
In Christ Jesus who became human like us in everything except sin, God became more one with us to prove his love and oneness for us.
At the sight of the crowds, Jesus’ heart was moved with pity for them because they were troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send our laborers for his harvest.”
Matthew 9:36-38
Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima, GMA-7 News, June 2020.
See how Matthew noted that “At the sight of the crowds, Jesus’ heart was moved with pity for them because they were troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd.” So beautiful. So powerful.
That expression his “heart was moved with pity” is the literal meaning of the Latin word misericordia – mercy in English – that means “a heart moved strongly” like disturbed or thrown off perhaps. More than just a feeling, that virtue of mercy is expressed into compassion which is another Latin word that means “to suffer with” or cum patior. Matthew here is telling us it was more than a feeling for Jesus to have his heart moved with pity but a firm resolve to uplift the crowds because in the first place he has that oneness with them.
Until now in our own time, that heart of Jesus is moved with pity for us whenever he sees us troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd. Just like my friend grieving the loss of her husband. Or anyone who had lost a beloved, a leg or a part of the body, maybe a job or a career, a dream or a future.
For Jesus, it is always the person who matters that is why his proposal has always been to send us another person, another companion, a fellow to accompany us in our brokenness and darkness. There is his move of gathering us, calling us, and sending us forth to a mission.
Jesus never taught us to ask for more money nor food nor gadgets to solve the problems of the world. Recall his temptation in the desert when he rejected the devil’s challenge to change stones into bread because man does not live by bread alone but with every word from God.
For the world, everything is a problem to be solved, including mysteries of God and of the human person. As we have reflected the past two Sundays, mysteries are not problems and therefore not solvable at all. Mysteries are non-logical realities we must embrace or even allow ourselves to be wrapped with to discover the richness and meaning of this life like God and persons.
When people are down and lost in this life, feeling troubled and abandoned, where do we focus more, to their woes and problems or their very persons? Try thinking of the people you consider as “heaven sent” and helped you in your darkest moments. Are they not the ones who brought out our giftedness as a person, as a beloved child of God with Christ’s gospel?
Photo by author, December 2022 at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City.
Problem these days, many people no longer believe in God totally, not giving a care at all with the value and meaning of justification and salvation, of reconciliation and communion in Christ through one another that St. Paul explained in the second reading.
Modern man has become so complacent that he would be saved by a loving and merciful God. It is a wrong kind of confidence because it is a confidence in one’s own powers than in God’s saving act through Jesus Christ as St. Paul preached.
Sad to say, such kind of confidence afflicts mostly the so-called religious and pious ones in the Church, especially us priests and bishops who lose sight of the flock and of Christ in the process. No synod nor meetings and documents would make the local even Philippine Church attuned with the present time unless we the clergy and other disciples must first have our confidence in God, not in ourselves.
How tragic that we are still a Church so steeped in being a hierarchy, lightyears away from being any of the other models of the Church proposed by the late Jesuit Cardinal Avery Dulles: sacrament, herald, communion, and servant. Despite our many denials, priesthood is power and prestige where ministry is more of an office and a privilege. We are more concerned with the call, the vocation of priesthood totally ignoring the Caller, Jesus Christ. Visit any parish and chances are, you find the priest throwing his weight around – literally and figuratively speaking so that the sheep remain without a shepherd.
In the Old Testament, the image of Israel as a lost sheep was the result of failures and even of sins of infidelity of their religious and political leaders. History has proven not only in Israel but everywhere especially the Philippines that when there are failures in leadership in both the political and religious spheres, it is always the common people who suffer most.
Photo by Mr. Mon Macatangga, 12 May 2023.
If we think about it, Jesus could have reacted negatively at the sight of the crowds and even with us today. He could have felt angry and irritated, even annoyed, frustrated and disappointed with how we are wasting all his gifts and grace, his call and his mission. But Jesus chose empathy and sympathy because he always looks into our hearts, into our total person than to our sins and failures, mistakes and errors.
Let us return to our “desert of Sinai” spoken of in the first reading, a reminder of our turning point in life and history when God called and sent us to be a “kingdom of priests, a holy nation” whose confidence is in him alone, not in our very selves nor our programs and structures to find again the many lost sheep of our flock. It is never too late to make a U-turn for God is full of mercy and compassion, slow to anger, loving and true. Amen.Have a blessed week ahead!
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday after Pentecost,
Feast of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Eternal High Priest, 01 June 2023
Genesis 22:9-18 ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[>< Matthew 26:36-42
Photo by Mr. Mon Macatangga, 12 May 2023.
God our loving Father,
thank you for allowing us
to reach the first half of the year
and what a tremendous blessing
on this first day of June we are
also celebrating the Feast of
your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Eternal High Priest.
In Jesus Christ
you have given us
the perfect mediator
to you, our Father
and to one another
as brothers and sisters.
In Baptism,
you have made us share
in your priesthood, Lord Jesus;
you have weakened the
COVID virus and how sad
that now we are free to
travel, many of us have refused
to come back to Sunday
Eucharist when we exercise
Christ's priestly ministry.
May our lives be a life of
worship to you, O God,
like Abraham, trustingly
obeying you even in
giving up those most
precious to us.
Again then Lord’s messenger called to Abraham from heaven and said: “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you acted as you did in not withholding from me your beloved son, I will bless you abundantly…
Genesis 22:15-17
Also on this Feast of Jesus Christ
our Eternal High Priest,
we pray most fervently for our
priests that each of them may be
a man of the Word,
a man of prayer
in intimate
relationship with you, dear Jesus
so that they may give us only you, Jesus,
always you, Jesus.
We pray for priests
most especially bishops too
who have no more time to pray
to be one with you, Jesus,
as they spend more time with
people, sad to say, with the rich
and powerful forgetting your little ones
like the poor and the sick;
transform our priests and bishops,
Jesus, to be more like you
in thinking,
in speaking,
in doing,
in living,
and in loving.
Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 05 May 2023
Homily on the occasion of the 25th anniversary of my friend and classmate,
Fr. Ed Rodriguez last 18 April 2023
Tatlong ulit tinanong ni Jesus si Pedro sa ating ebanghelyong napakinggan natin, “Simon, anak ni Juan, iniibig mo ba ako?” (Jn. 21:15-17). Hindi ko na po hihimayin ang kahulugan ng mga iyon bagkus ay hayaan ninyong ibahagi ko sa inyo tatlong pagkakataon ng pag-ibig na aking naranasan.
Una, katulad ninyo, ako man po ay nagmahal at nabigo.
That is one story of love that has the most impact on us. In fact, most love songs have this as theme like unrequited love, unfaithful love, of being unloved despite your love. And they are the most loved and popular love songs because we have experienced that when we truly love, there is always pain and hurting like rejection.
Pangalawa ay iyong iniibig ka rin ng iniibig mo. Yung mahal mo, mahal ka rin. Yun ang matamis! This is the love that has made the world go round and brought us into this world. This is the love why men and women get married because you are loved by the one you love. A very lovely kind of love that tells us may forever.
But there is a third occasion of love I just realized lately, shortly before we celebrated our 25th anniversary of ordination to the priesthood. It is the kind of love we all experience but many times we are not aware of. Worst, it is the love we always reject.
Ito yung minamahal ka na nga, ayaw mo pa!
I found this while counseling adoptive parents who complain of how their adopted children go wayward in life, wasting their lives and their wealth because what prevails over them is the rejection they have experienced from their biological mother who gave them away for adoption. They could not get over that fact and in the process, fail to appreciate the love lavished upon them by their adoptive parents. It does happen too to many kids these days who reject the love their parents shower them, complaining a lot without realizing how they are so loved. Many times, we are not aware of the many blessings we have in life, of being so loved by God and others without us even knowing it.
This love is most especially true to us priests too. As we neared this date, I have realized in my prayers how much God loves me with the many graces he has been giving me which I am not even aware of! And yes, there were times I have rejected his immense love in my many moments of sin.
This love of God is what we always reject, the love we could not accept because what we see more are our weaknesses and shortcomings, failing to see and realize God’s immense love that covers a multitude of our sins and defects.
This love is the most powerful and most mysterious of all when affirmed especially by us priests, enabling us to do so many things in the name of God like building communities and building up lives, not just building structures and edifices.
This love of God is the reason we are rejoicing today, celebrating 25 years in the priesthood of my classmate and friend Fr. Ed who has embraced and affirmed this love God poured upon us on April 28, 1998 at the Malolos Cathedral.
We can only truly celebrate anniversaries, whether priesthood or wedding, if we continuously affirm the love bestowed upon us by God, shared and nurtured by you our parishioners as well as by your spouse. That is why Jesus had to ask Peter thrice the question “do you love me?” because before we can ever follow Jesus, we must first of all love him. To love Jesus is to first affirm and embrace that love he has for us no matter how imperfect we may be.
Notice that a person who loves is always looking good, always radiant with love. This we see also in priests who are filled with joy in the ministry as seen first in their cleanliness and orderliness. Malinis si Father di lamang sa sarili kungdi pati sa mga damit, gamit at parokya. May amirol ultimo mga purificator, corporal at finger towel. Palaging naka-sapatos sa Misa. Maayos ang buhok. At hindi humaharap kanino man ng marumi o di nakabihis ng maayos. In him we find exemplified that elementary school lesson that “cleanliness is next to godliness”. And it is not just being clean outside but also inside.
When we love, we always go near the one we love. That is the first sign of love, a desire to get closer with the one we love. That is why if we really love God in the same manner we love others, we make every move to get close to him in prayer primarily. A priest who loves God, who loves his flock, who loves his vocation is first of all a man of prayer. Everything in the ministry and person of a priest flows from his prayer life. And you know very well when a priest does not pray.
The more a priest prays and gets nearer to Jesus, the more he is united in Christ’s sufferings. No wonder that when Jesus suffered and died on the Cross, there stood by his side were his Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary and the “beloved disciple” because they were the ones who truly loved him.
When there is love, there is nearness. That is when sharing and oneness happen. When we love, we share in everything, especially our beloved’s pains and hurts. Before we can share in anyone’s joy and glory, we must first of all share in their pains and sorrow. That is the love of a priest. Being one with Christ, one in Christ at the Cross. That is why a priest is a friend to everyone, the rich and poor alike, the young and old alike, the sick and healthy, yung maganda at pangit, mabango at mabaho. People who love always share, are always one with others in their love and pains, victory and failures, weakness and strength.
All the more with us priests who share our lives with you as you too share your lives with us. Together we grow nearer to Christ on the Cross leading to Easter. However, it is not enough in love that we get near or close to our beloved like Jesus.
If we truly love, we must be obedient to show how far, how deep can we go with our beloved especially in their sufferings. St. Paul described this obedience of Jesus Christ to the Father even to death in a beautiful hymn in his letter to the Philippians as a process of kenosis, of self-emptying. This the Lord showed after their last supper when he washed the apostles’ feet. St. John beautifully introduced the scene by telling us, “”He (Jesus) loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end” (Jn.13:1).
Love cannot be defined. It has no boundaries. Most of all, love is always a packaged deal, all inclusive! Like any man and woman getting married who vowed to love each other “in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer until death do us part”, we your priests also vowed before the Bishop to love Jesus without measure by being celibate, poor, and obedient. Very understandable that priests have to be celibate and poor like Jesus; but, most of all like the Lord, priests take the vow of obedience too to prove the “breadth, length, depth, and height” (Eph. 3:18-19) of our love for Christ, his Church, and to everyone even enemies because it is very difficult to obey even to those we love after all.
How lovely that in Filipino, the word for obedience is pagsunod; an obedient person is masunurin, sumusunod.
It is also the word for following, pagsunod. An obedient person is one who follows because he loves, no matter how difficult it may be.
Now we can see the whole picture of that beautiful conversation of the Lord and Peter at the shore of Lake Tiberias: Jesus asked him thrice, “do you love me?” and after getting Peter’s “yes, I love you Lord”, Jesus described the apostle’s coming suffering and death before telling him, “Follow me” (Jn. 21:18-19).
From loving to suffering and finally, following. Everything begins in love, is sustained by love when there is suffering and following. Sometimes I ask couples if they say “I love you” to each other daily. Most of them would answer me with a question, “kailangan pa po ba yun, Father? Understood na po iyon.” Really?
Many times, we feel afraid, scared to say “I love you” because we know we do not love that much. And most terrified when confronted with the question “do you love me?” because deep inside, we know we have not truly loved. Do not worry. Do not be afraid. Just keep on loving no matter how imperfect you may be because love removes fear.
Most of all, Jesus knows that very well as Peter had said, “you know everything, you know I love you”. Human love is always imperfect. Only God can love us perfectly. But like Peter, in our unworthiness and defects, let us still say in words and in deeds, “you know everything Lord, you know that I LOVE YOU.”
My dear friends, Jesus is asking us every day the same questions he asked Simon Peter. To love Jesus is to love his Church, including his representative, his priest. Love Fr. Ed in Christ with your prayers and support. Give him the time and space to get nearer to Jesus in prayer and loving service to you. Keep Fr. Ed closest to Jesus. Not to you.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 02 May 2023
Reflections on the occasion of my 25th year in the Priesthood
With our Bishop, Most Rev. Dennis C. Villarojo, DD after our anniversary and his birthday Mass in his private chapel; from left Fr. Romy Sasi, Fr. Arnel Camacho, Fr. Leonard Hernandez, the Bishop, Fr. Ed Rodriguez, and me. Not in photo was Fr. Joshua Panganiban who was sick and another classmate who had left the ministry more than five years ago. Photo by Fr. Leonard.
I first entered the seminary as a second year high school in 1979. When we were about to graduate in 1982, I was told to leave the seminary after failing admission to San Carlos Seminary due to the unfavorable results of my psychological exam. It was a very painful experience for me. It is only now on my 25th year of priesthood that I am coming to terms with that dark episode in my life. In fact, it is only now that I can admit it unashamed.
Making it doubly hard for me was when San Carlos Seminary Prefect of Discipline Msgr. Sunga refused to tell me the findings in my psychological exam except I would find it out as I moved on in life. And I think, I have found the reason. “It is the Lord!”
My classmates from UST AB Journalism class of 1986, from left, Lito Zulueta, Dante Santiago, Ellen Jurado-Cobarrubias, front Marie Ann, Luz Lopez Urquiola, Bel De Leon, beside me, Pia Pajarillo-Bantolo, Vilma Capellan, Rose Munoz-Landicho and Ross.
From that experience, I have realized that Christ comes to us even in the darkest moments of our lives. It is often when we have nothing, when we are empty that we are abundant in Christ. It is a mystery that continues to unfold until now! Difficult to explain fully. What was a setback and a dark spot for me before, that failure in my psychological exam has become more of a blessing later to me.
From the seminary, I went to the University of Sto. Tomas to pursue my first love, journalism. Everything happened so fast from UST where I had the chance to join the staff of the Varsitarian, covering the sports beat.
For my internship program, I trained at GMA-7 News to explore broadcast news. Immediately, I was amazed with the speed and timeliness of broadcast news with the constant clacking and ringing or sometimes whining of the UPI and PNA telex machines either from breaking news or when they ran out of newsprint reels. Luckily after graduation in 1986, I was hired by Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma as radio news writer for DZBB-AM and DWLS-FM.
With my co-staffers at the Varsitarian of UST, from left, Alane Ty, Jenny Bartolome, Sr. Gina Kuizon, Mother superior of RGS who was the assistant of Ms. Jesselyn G. Dela Cruz our Asst. Publications Director, Lito Zulueta of Inquirer, at the back are Romy the husband of Mam Jess and Jun Carnecer.
From a news writer in 1986, I became a reporter in 1988 covering the police beat on the night shift until 1990 when Ms. Jessica Soho recommended me to replace her in the the military/defense she used to cover after she was promoted to having a regular morning show, “Kape at Balita”.
I refused the position because I was so afraid of failing to measure up to Jessica’s stature but most of all, I felt not qualified of not having the voice for broadcast news. Yes, I have never wanted to be an “on-cam” reporter because I do not have the broadcast voice. Got no problem with that. That is why my application at GMA-7 was for a news writer. Again, it was the Lord I moved to become a police reporter at that time.
It is funny how I have always refused tasks that put me at the forefront since my GMA-7 days as a result of that “psych exam” in high school. Since college, I have found myself working best behind the scenes and behind the camera, working in hiddenness.
And yes, most of all, for lack of self-confidence. That is why I could not also believe when I felt God calling me to the priesthood again! And when I have become a priest, I have always wanted to be sent into the far-flung areas unnoticed but God would always bring me to major assignments like first, our diocesan school beside the Malolos Cathedral and now as chaplain of Our Lady of Fatima University with six campuses and two Medical Centers!
Me in our old newsroom filing my report after the graveyard shift 1989; photo by Mr. Jack Taylaran.
Going back to my vocation story… Every time I moved up in GMA-7 News, I would feel a reawakening or a resurging of my vocation. In the midst of the perks of the job plus the “celebrity” status, that was when I felt empty and unfulfilled! Something was missing in my life at the beginning I could not figure out. Tried to find fulfillment in everything including relationships but, I still felt empty. In fact, my vocation to the priesthood “pestered” me most when I was into relationships, feeling so praning with a voice within asking me “paano pagpapari mo?” As a result, I tried going back to prayers, then to Sunday Masses that slowly gave me some sense of fulfillment and peace within.
But after covering the December coup attempt of 1989 I felt something so strange deep within me: the more I felt empty within. Despite the adrenalin rush of covering the bloodiest coup attempt in our history, the thoughts of the priesthood would always cross my mind even without my thinking. It happened again the following year during coverage of the July 1990 earthquake. I was not feeling contented with my life. All I felt was a deeper longing for God and spiritual things like serving the people not just as a reporter. I felt God calling me to something more than covering the news but proclaiming the good news of Christ.
On my first day off after the July 1990 earthquake, I went to see my former minor seminary rector, Fr. Memeng Salonga for spiritual direction. He told me what I was feeling could be a vocation to the priesthood. My plan at that time was to wait for about five years before deciding for the priesthood. What if I were wrong again like what happened when I applied to San Carlos Seminary? Most of all, I had no more plans of becoming a priest. And I thought of running away from God like the Prophet Jonah, without realizing I ended up exactly like him!
It happened in January 1991 when it was my turn to join then Armed Forces chief Gen. Lisandro Abadia in his inspection of troops in northern Luzon. On our last stop at Laoag airport, one of the tires of our plane exploded upon landing!
It happened at the right side of the plane where I was seated near the window. Instinctively on seeing and hearing the explosion, I ducked my head down and braced myself for impact while deep inside me, I was frantically praying in silence to God, telling him, “magpapari na po ako, magpapari na po ako!”
That is why Jonah is my favorite character in the Old Testament as I felt like him inside the belly of PAF’s Fokker plane in 1991 trying to escape God’s call to the priesthood.
My GMA-7 colleagues, from left, JJ Jimeno, Jimmy Gil, Boy Sonza, Jun Fronda, Atty. Dan de Padua, Kelly B. Vergel de Dios, Marissa Flores, Jessica Soho, and Ben Cab of PNA.
When we got back to Manila late that afternoon, everybody was congratulating me, saying I could be the next Jessica Soho as I figured out in a near-fatal accident with the Chief-of-Staff. Behind my smiles was a firm resolve inside to finally follow Jesus. Weeks after Mt. Pinatubo spewed smokes in March, I gave my letter of resignation to Ms. Palma and simply told her, I was going back to the seminary to give my vocation a second chance. Mt. Pinatubo would finally erupt on June 12, 1991 when I was already inside the seminary.
My first year in the seminary, 1991, after resigning from GMA-7 News.
Life was not easy in the seminary. Temptations to leave the seminary and go back to work were most tempting during my first three years as I knew already where to go, what to do in life. Maybe about three times I have tried leaving the seminary while I was constantly warned of being sent out too!
The Portuguese have a saying that “God writes straight crooked lines.” True. Nine years after leaving the seminary in high school, I went back to the seminary in 1991 eventually being ordained in 1998. Now 25 years as a priest, I thank God for this most precious gift of priesthood. It is very difficult but most fulfilling.
As a priest and an individual, I have realized that if there are 8-billion people in the world, there are also 8-billion kinds of love God has specifically for each one of us. God loves us in the most personal manner. It is the greatest mystery in life we would never be able to solve because it is insolvable. We just have to live on it, be wrapped in his mystery that once in a while, like the beloved disciple amid the darkness of dawn, we would have glimpses of him, making us shout “It is the Lord!” Thank my dear friends for showing me always the Lord. Hope and pray you too have seen the Lord in me! God bless!
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 April 2023
Reflections on the occasion of my 25th year in the Priesthood
Photo by Mr. Jong Arcano before the Mass with Ms. Marissa Flores (former SVP-GMA7 News), the Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma, of course, Ms. Jessica Soho, Ms. Jaileen Jimeno of GMA News with Mr. Ben Cal of Phil. News Agency at the back.
As I have promised you yesterday, today we reflect about the women the Lord had sent me to meet him, to follow him.
My first assignment from 1998 to 2010 after ordination was teacher-administrator of the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) and Immaculate Conception School of Malolos (ICSM). My students would always ask me why I left the news to become a priest. My usual answer given in a jest, especially to the boys, was that I wanted to “love” more women than just one. It was a “birong totoo” because that was how I felt when I began examining my life and heard anew my vocation following that conversation with Atty. Dan.
During my retreat last March while praying over the many graces and blessings I have not been aware of, I realized how God prepared me for the priesthood and its call of celibacy. As I looked back in my life, he has blessed me with great women, so beautiful inside and outside. They were gifts that even if I did not get married because I chose priesthood and celibacy, I feel so blessed with that unique relationships with these wonderful women who continue to enrich my life as a person, as a priest.
First, my Bosses in work have all been women.
Photo by Ms. Karen Galarpe as shared during our 2017 Homecoming at the Varsitarian; Ms. Gina has long been away and I could not find our old photos. Nonetheless, in this photo are Sr. Gina who proclaimed the first reading at my anniversary who was then assistant of our Asst. Publications Director Ms. Jesselyn dela Cruz to her right.
My first boss was Ms. Gina Bautista-Navarette. She was the editor-in-chief of the UST’s Varsitarian when I applied as a news reporter in 1984. Even at that time, she has always been the epitome of “beauty and brains” – so lovely and so kind, but really tough inside, especially with her knowledge and beliefs. She finished Industrial Engineering and went to work first at PRC as one of its young executives, then to Johnson & Johnson and then to Jollibee as VP for Marketing. When Jollibee bought Greenwich Pizza, she became its GM and a few years later, became the President of Red Ribbon when Jollibee acquired the famous cake company. While still the VP for Marketing at Jollibee, I invited her to our school for a career talk to our students. She in turn would call me sometimes for comments for their products which I enjoyed because I had valid reasons to eat burgers and palabok!
Later on, Gina emailed me of their moving to Canada for a “lifestyle shift” but even then, she had never forgotten to greet me during my ordination anniversaries as deacon and priest! That is why, whenever I remember and pray for Gina, “it is the Lord” whom I see.
She came about two hours early last Tuesday because she said, “gusto ko lang makausap ka muna Father ng konti.”
My second boss was Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma. Yes. The Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma of television news. Late have I realized the super blessing given to me by God to have worked under Ms. TMP as we called her.
So tall and lovely, surely better than that girl from Ipanema! But, in her I found really a WOMAN in the truest sense. Astig. But with a lot of sense of humor. So kalog. And yes, so kind and thoughtful. What I could not forget is her sense of humility. Imagine, the goddess of TV News for so long that you would surely believe if she tells you World War III has begun, is in fact a humble person because she says sorry. I have personally experienced her saying sorry once or twice but on other occasions, she has that tender way of letting you know she is sorry like saying “kumusta na kid?” or just being extra nice on certain days. Whenever I feel in a dilemma of saying sorry or not, when I feel so proud, I remember Ms. Tina who despite her stature and every right and privilege would always be that humble to say sorry.
Another thing I learned from Ms. TMP was when she told me why she would always reprimand me with my scripts and reports: she insisted She would insisted excellence in our work. Later in the seminary and as a priest, I would speak of excellence as holiness, of giving your best always. It is the very heart of St. Therese’s “little way”, of doing small things excellently.
I will always be proud of Ms. Tina. Monzon-Palma. Even she had moved to other networks, she remained our kapuso, seeing us, conversing with us her former colleagues at GMA-7. She came to my 50th birthday and again in my anniversary. In fact, she came so early because she told me, she just wanted to talk to me. Truly, I could say that afternoon, “It is the Lord” when I was with her.
Our President, Dra. Caroline Enriquez in red, to her right is Mr. Rico Santos, VP for Finance of FUMC and wife Dra. Carol; at the middle is my predecessor Fr. Lito Caliwag, Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD our VP for Student Affairs, standing next to her is Dr. Vic Santos, President of FUMC with his son Angelo and wife, Dra. Mary Anne.
My third and current Boss is again a woman, also beauty and brains, but most holy and truly a Wonder Woman. The President of the Our Lady of Fatima University (OLFU) and Board Member of Fatima University Medical Center (FUMC) of which I am both the chaplain: Dr. Caroline Santos-Enriquez, MD.
I first met Dra. Caroline in 2010-2011 when I was first assigned as attached priest here at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima in Valenzuela. Twice the chaplain was indisposed and I had to celebrate Masses for him. After I was given a parish of my own to shepherd, Doctora would always invite me for talks in OLFU and twice to address their graduates at the PICC.
During my retreat last month, she came to my prayers. Yes, “It is the Lord” experience again and I felt so ashamed before God not realizing this immense grace and blessing of how a great woman of faith who has hurdled so many trials in life, a very wise manager and steward who has steered OLFU to what it is today with six campuses would believe in me? Our Bishop told me during our clergy reshuffle in December 2020 that he had asked Dra. Enriquez to recommend to him three names he would assign as chaplain. I was her first choice, and again, “It is the Lord!”
Of the other women and friends God gave me to lead me back to his Son Jesus, will share them Monday in our next blog. For now, I too believe that nothing happens by accident. God knew everything beforehand that I would be sent out of the seminary in 1982 only to go back after nine years and become a priest 25 years ago. In all those years, he blessed me with so many friends, especially friends who are girls, some are ladies, and many are women like my three Bosses in the professional life. They are among the best of his blessings I was not aware until I went back to those 25 years of my priesthood. It is the Lord I have seen in them. And like James Taylor in his 1971 song Places in My Past, I could sing…
There are ladies in my life
Lovely ladies in these lazy days
And though I never took a wife
May I say that I have loved me one or two
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 20 April 2023
Reflections on the occasion of my 25th year ordination to the Priesthood
Photo by Arch. Philip Santiago; to my left is our former Rector in Minor Seminary, Fr. Domingo Salonga and our Prefect of Discipline, Msgr. Albert Suatengco.
It is the Lord! And it has always been him. Will always be him. Thank you very much my dearest family and friends including you my readers of this blog for showing me the Lord, for leading me to the Lord all these years especially on the occasion of my 25th anniversary in the priesthood.
Been praying for this occasion since March when I went on a personal retreat when I turned 58 years old. One of the reflections assigned to me by my Spiritual Director, Jesuit Fr. Danny Gozar was to pray for all the grace and blessings God has given me that I am not aware of. One of the many blessings I “rediscovered” God has blessed me all these years were the people he had gifted me, from my family and relatives, classmates from elementary to college and the seminary, colleagues in work as well as students, and lately, some parishioners who have all become my friends.
It is the Lord whom I have seen in them. And I became a priest because of them. Maybe if I did not meet them, my life would have been different.
Jesus revealed himself again to his disciples at the Sea of Tiberias. He revealed himself in this way. Together were Simon Peter, Thomas called Didymus, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, Zebedee’s sons, and two others of his disciples.
John 21:1-2
Photo by Ms. Tita Valderama, my friends from GMA News, from left: JJ Jimeno, Jimmy Gil, Boy Sonza, Jun Fronda, Marissa Flores (former SVP of GMA News), Jessica Soho and Ben Cal of PNA; beside me is Atty. Dan de Padua, and Kelly B. Vergel de Dios.
Some of them are very prominent, from the who’s who of the country like those persons named in the gospel, Simon Peter, Thomas called Didymus, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee. It is a tremendous blessing from God I have come to know so many prominent people, big shots indeed in Philippine media and society who taught me so much about journalism and most especially about life. In them I experienced there are so many goodness in every person, even those we look up to. They are so human with the same joys and pains, dreams and aspirations like us ordinary people. They get tired and get sick, they love to eat and drink, watch movies and enjoy music. Most of all, they have high moral sense and deep faith in God.
One of them I have to mention is the one who really paved the way for me to reconsider my vocation, Atty. Dan de Padua who was then assigned to GMA-7 News Department when I was already a police reporter covering the night shift. He would join us in our coverage and sometimes, before our shift, we would have some drinks at Jazz Rhythms along Timog Avenue. We got to know his background and former work with a multinational corporation with mega buck deals. I asked him why did he leave that better paying job? His answer struck me. Like the beloved disciple in the gospel, all I could say was “It is the Lord”.
According to Sir Dan, “nahiya naman ako sa sarili ko na matapos mag-aral sa UP, nagtatrabaho ako para sa mga foreigners… umalis ako sa kanila para ibalik sa bayan binigay sa akin.” Wow! Yes, there are good and holy lawyers, especially from UP! And my former boss is one of them! His words never left me, giving me many occasions of introspection when alone, as a graduate of Catholic schools from elementary to college, do I have the same love for the Church, for God?
Napahiya ako sa sarili ko. Here is a man, a big shot lawyer, thinking about our country we love to make fun of even curse and there I was, thinking only of myself? Of course, there were still other realizations I had but that really started my journey back to Jesus and to the seminary until my ordination on April 18, 1998.
There were so many other people I met when I was still outside the seminary who have enriched me as a person with their friendships and professionalism.
Photo by Mr. Jong Arcano with his wife.
I am forever grateful to my former editor at UST’s The Varsitarian, Mr. Jong Arcano who trained me so well in writing, especially looking into the human aspects of the persons being covered. Along with Mr. Jimmy Gil of GMA News, they taught me the importance of looking into the “human-ness” of the people in the news. Mr. Gil also told me while discussing the dangers of coverages that the most important story in the world is “your life that is why as a journalist, think also of your safety because if you die, who would tell the story you have covered?” Later on as a priest, I realized it so true! As a priest, there is that certain distance we must keep with the people but always that closeness to get their story. Fr. Henri Nouwen wrote in one of his books, “what is most personal is most universal.”
Worth mentioning also is our former SVP for Operations in GMA but a newsman through and through, Mr. Tony Seva. He summoned me to his office one afternoon to bring clippings of the write ups of an actress of our soap drama who had died. At his office, he asked me to take down some notes but somebody had earlier borrowed my pen in the newsroom! He told me I could leave my dick at home but never walk without a pen! That is why I always have pen in my pocket long after I have left the news! Like our Latin teacher in the seminary, Mr. Seva taught me to never open my mouth unless I am sure of what I am saying. That’s precision.
There are so many other men and women with names and without names who have taught me so well and most of all, I am sure without them knowing, have led me to see Jesus to become a priest. I used to tell my students that friends are gifts from God; therefore, true friends lead us back to God too!
Did I say women? Of course! I must confess, it took me so long to decide to leave the news and enter the seminary to become a priest because of women. I was so afraid, until now, I might not be faithful to Jesus because, yun nga! Madali ako ma-attract at ma-in-love!
Will tell you my “love story” in my next blog, of how women have led me to Jesus. Maybe, I should write a song similar to Yvonne Elliman’s song in Jesus Christ Superstar to be called “I Don’t Know How to Love Her”.
Thank you for your prayers on my 25th year in the priesthood. God bless you all!
Photo by Mr. Jong Arcano with Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma before the Mass.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Second Week of Easter, 18 April 2023
My 25th Anniversary of Ordination to the Priesthood
As I have shared this photo with you last Sunday,
I composed this prayer during our Ignatian 30-Day retreat
in the summer of 1995. It has always been my prayer
ever since. But now more than ever,
it has become more true!
In the past 25 years,
"It is the Lord" (Jn. 21:7)
whom I have seen coming to me in the people
I have met in my ministry;
in fact, even long before I became a priest
I have realized it was also the Lord
whom I have met among the people
in my entire life who led me closer to him
that I finally got ordained 25 years ago.
Likewise, "It is the Lord"
present too in my many moments
in life when it is dark like the night
with fruitless catch of fish (Jn. 21:3);
And so today,
all I want is to praise and thank the Lord
for always finding me when I
get lost, when I turn away from him,
when I insist on my plans.
"It is the Lord"
who is most loving and merciful,
most patient and kind of all
that is why I am still a priest today.
Thank you for making me see the Lord in you
here in the net too!
Your writings and photos,
prayers and reflections
have enabled me to see him clearly,
love him dearly,
and follow him closely.
Amen.
God bless you all!
lordmychef.com 