Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 22 May 2024
I have reflected last Sunday that Pentecost is not just an event in the past but a daily coming of the Holy Spirit upon us, enlightening us of so many things in life we used to take for granted. Like the value of every person, especially when there is a death of a loved one.
In fact, death is a Pentecost when the Holy Spirit comes to remind us that we never – and can never – replace our departed loved ones. Every person is irreplaceable, especially family members. The sooner we realize this, the better for us to avoid those guilty feelings later that we should have been more loving and kind, that we should have said “I love you” more often because we never know for how long we can be with our loved ones. One thing is for sure: we do not replace our deceased loved ones but simply re-member them.
The word “remember” is very interesting.
It is from the root word “member” or “part”. When we put the prefix “re” which means “again”, “remember” means to make a part again of the present moment.
Every time we remember a person or an event, we make them part of our present moment. And they are most real, most present when our re-membering happens in the context of a family or a community. Re-membering someone by one’s self surely does happen a lot but very often, it is more of looking back to the past, recalling the days we used to be together. But when we remember somebody as a family or a community, the one we remember is indeed re-membered in our present, becomes real in everyone around celebrating his/her memory. Something concrete happens and the joy is more intense, leading to freedom from past, from pains and hurts of losing a loved one.
That is when death becomes a Pentecost. When the Holy Spirit came down upon the Apostles and the Blessed Virgin Mary in Jerusalem 50 days after Easter, the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity did not come to replace Jesus. The Holy Spirit is a distinct Person of the Trinity in whose power all the followers and believers of Christ have been empowered to make Him present until now in our collective re-membering of Him in the Church and the Sacraments. In the Holy Spirit who comes to us daily, we overcome and transcend every death we go through in life, enabling us to re-member our departed loved ones by being a member of those left behind.
Since mommy’s death, I have gone home thrice already. How I loved to walk inside her room, trying so hard to get those feelings or vibes when she was still alive I miserably miss most as the days moved on.
One thing I have noticed, though, is that strange feeling of our home suddenly so empty as in “kakalog-kalog” as we say in Tagalog. Mommy ko lang nawala sa amin pero parang nawala ang lahat sa bahay?
Now I know better why the mother is the light of the family or “ilaw ng tahanan” because after she had died, her light in our home was turned off that seemed to have made our home so dark, so light and hollowed. However, when we gathered as siblings together with our nieces and nephew and relatives, the warmth of our home returns as if mommy is with us , still with us.
That is when the Holy Spirit comes amid the darkness of every death. A Pentecost when we are reminded of those still with us who must band closer together to make our departed more present in our collective re-membering. No wonder, it was also the final instruction of Jesus to His disciples at their Last Supper when He told them as He gave them the chalice to “Do this in memory of me” or “in remembrance of me”. In Greek, it is called anamnesis which is more than remembering or recalling but making present, making a reality.
And the reality is this – every person is valuable beyond measure.
So fragile too! Because we can easily lose them in a snap.
We realize and feel this most true in death when we experience deeply “someone like me” whom I love, whom I care for is gone because in every death of a beloved, a part of us dies too. Even if he/she is an enemy or somebody we are not in good terms with, we feel a loss within because for better or worst, the deceased made us feel our humanity.
It is said that “one life is too many.” Very true. Today God gives us the gift and power to re-member those not with us by connecting with those still living with us. Make that connection now and soon you too shall see the face we sorely miss together. Have a blessed remaining half-week!
