Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-29 ng Disyembre 2022
*Isang tula bunsod ng nakatutuwa na awitin ng Mayonnaise.
Sino ka nga ba, Jopay?
Ako ay nakikisabay,
nakikibagay sa sayaw at ingay
pero pramis,
ang sarap sumakay
sa awit sa iyo ay alay!
Jopay,
gusto ko rin umuwi sa bahay
simpleng buhay
hawak lang pamaypay
sabay kaway kaway
maski kaaway!
Kung sino ka man, Jopay,
totoo sabi nila sa iyo:
minsan masarap umalis
sa tunay na mundo,
walang gulo -
pero wala ding tao!
Kaya kung ako sa iyo,
Jopay, kakanta na lang ako
sabay sayaw:
spaghetti pababa
spaghetti pataas
ganyan ang buhay, Jopay,
isang magandang sayaw
lalo na kung iyong kasabay
mahal sa buhay
mga kaibigan
hindi ka iiwan
maski kelan.
Mayroon tayong
isang kasabay
sa sayaw ng buhay, Jopay:
tunay ka kaibigan
huwag lang siya ang mawawala
tiyak ika'y matutuwa
sa hapis at lungkot
hirap at dusa
hindi mo alintana
mga ito'y nalampasan mo na
siya palagi mong kasama
hanggang sa bahay ng Ama!
Pasensiya ka na, Jopay
ako ma'y walang kasama
at kausap dito sa bahay
sa mundong magulo;
naisip ko lang tumula para sa iyo
at sa mga kagaya mo
palaging masaya sa paningin
pero maraming kinikimkim
saloobin at pasanin
kaya isang taus-pusong panalangin
aking alay sa inyo,
para lumigaya kayo!
*We have no intentions of infringing into the copyrights of this music and its uploader except to share its beauty and listening pleasure.
The Lord Is My Chef Simbang Gabi Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Saturday in the Fourth Week of Advent, Ninth Day of the Christmas Novena, 24 December 2022
2 Samuel 7:1-5, 8-12, 14, 16 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> Luke 1:67-79
Thank you Lord Jesus Christ
for this Season of Advent,
for your words and presence
these past nine days of
Simbang Gabi.
Like King David in the first reading
and Zechariah in the gospel,
now I have seen clearly your light -
"In the tender compassion of our God
the dawn from on high shall break upon us,
to shine on those who dwell in darkness
and shadow of death,
and to guide our feet into the way of peace"
(Luke 1:78-79).
Help me see your light, Jesus;
let me distinguish the true light
that shines on the face of every person
I meet and serve, especially the weak
and lowly and forgotten;
let me be wary of lights I see only on my face
like King David that no matter how noble are
my plans, it is your light, O Lord, that I must follow
for your light leads to love and kindness,
mercy and compassion, acceptance and forgiveness;
let me search and follow only your light
that makes me accept and embrace and own my past,
especially if it is painful and hurtful
so I may see also the brighter future
you are leading me to.
Most of all, dear Jesus,
like John, fill me with your light
to lead people to you
not to me;
I do not ask your light to make me see
the distance scene but just enough to make
me step closer to you each day
especially when darkness of sin and evil abound.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Thirty-First Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 31 October 2022
Philippinas 2:1-4 ><}}}*> + <*{{{>< ~~ ><}}}*> + <*{{{>< Luke 14:12-14
Dearest Lord Jesus,
in this time of calamities
when so many people have died
and many others are still suffering
while we celebrate the lives of
All the Saints and those of our
dearly departed, teach me to be
like them in bringing joy and light
in the lives of others; teach me
to live in love for others as
St. Paul beautifully tells us today:
Brothers and sisters: If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing. Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interest, but also everyone for those of others.
Philippians 2:1-4
Many times,
quarrels and misunderstandings
cannot be avoided in our circles of
family and friends; there are times
others can be either so sensitive or
insensitive, always feeling the world
revolves around them; there are times
when people are simply not matured enough,
so selfish and self-centered;
in times like these,
teach me Jesus to think less of myself
and more of others, especially those
affected when the sensitive and insensitive
along with those not matured enough are
casting their spells of darkness;
let me brighten the lives of others
with your joy and kindness,
love and care.
Amen.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-30 ng Setyembre 2022
Larawan kuha ng may akda, bukang liwayway sa Lawa ng Tiberias, Israel, Mayo 2019.
Kay sarap namnamin,
kaninang pagkagising
Iyong tugon Panginoon namin
sa mga tanong ni Job
na amin ding dinaraing
sa gitna ng maraming hirap at tiisin:
"Job,
nakalikha ka ba
kahit isang bukang liwayway?
Ang daigdig ba ay ang iyong
naigawa ng tanglaw?
Napunta ka na ba sa
pinagmumulan ng bukal?
Nakalakad ka na ba sa
pusod ng karagatan?
Alam mo ba kung saan nanggaling
ang liwanag, o and kadiliman,
kung saan nagbubuhat?
Ang mga ulap ba iyong mauutusan
sa lupa ay magbuhos ng malakas na ulan?"
(Aklat ni Job 38:12-13, 16, 19, 34)
Inyong ipagpaumanhin
Panginoong namin
kapangahasan Ikaw ay tanungin,
usisain kapag mabigat aming pasanin
kami ay patawarin
katulad ni Job iyong dinggin:
"Narito, ako'y hamak,
walang kabuluhan,
walang maisasagot,
bibig ay tatakpan
hindi na kikibo,
mga nasabi'y di na uulitin"
(Aklat ni Job 40:4-5).
Hinding hindi namin
makakayang sagutin
ni arukin kalaliman
nitong maraming lihim
ng buhay lalo't kung madilim;
sana'y Iyong dalisayin, Panginoon
aking mga paningin, upang Ikaw ay
malasin tulad ng kulay ng hangin!
Larawan kuha ni Bb. Jo Villafuerte, pagbubukang liwayway sa Atok, Benguet, Setyembre 2019.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Memorial of St. Vincent de Paul, Priest, 27 September 2022
Job 3:1-3, 11-17, 20-23 ><000'> + ><000'> + ><000'> Luke 9:51-56
Photo by author, Makati skyline from Antipolo, August 2022.
Thank you again,
dear God our loving Father
in keeping us safe from the
powerful super typhoon that
hit us Sunday evening;
most of all, thank you in giving
us that faith within us like Job
when we go through storms in
life, sometimes so violent and
devastating like the real ones.
Bless us, O God, to be like Job:
to have that grace of crying out
our hearts, of venting out our pains
and even anger when like him,
we curse the day but never you:
Job opened his mouth and cursed his day. Job spoke out and said: Perish the day on which I was born, the night when they said, “The child is a boy!” Why did I not perish at birth, come forth from the womb and expire?
Job 3:1-2, 3
Help us realize, dear Father,
these little "deaths" we go through
daily in life like sickness and loss of
loved ones are the realities of life
itself that prepare us for our eternal
union in you that would surely come
on our Death with a big D;
we are indeed "being-towards-death"
beginning on the day of our birth when
we have to cry out loud and kick hard
to be alive!
It is through our pains and sufferings
that we become truly human,
when we feel with others in
empathy and sympathy,
when we stay with others
in consolation,
when we strive to be like
Jesus in raising up others
by being "resolutely determined
to journey to Jerusalem" (Lk.9:51)
to face death that have inspired saints
like your servant Vincent de Paul
who worked so hard for the sick,
the abandoned, and the poor,
inspiring other saints in the
process!
We pray for everyone
going through darkness,
battered by storms in life
to keep their faith,
that it is okay to cry and
complain because it is really
difficult; most of all,
remind us, Jesus, that
without pains and
sufferings in this world,
then this life would be
so dull, even meaningless
because that is when we
are totally by ourselves,
utterly selfish because we can
only find life's meaning in others,
never in our selves.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Memorial of Sts. Cosmas & Damian, Martyrs, 26 September 2022
Job 1:6-22 ><000'> + ><000'> + ><000'> Luke 9:46-50
Photo by author in Alfonso, Cavite, 14 September 2022.
Praise and glory to you,
God our loving Father
in keeping us safe throughout
the night as a powerful storm
passed over us; so glad we are
alive despite the many sufferings
many of us must endure these
coming days due to the super typhoon.
Your words, O Lord,
this day gives us so much
reasons why every day is a
tremendous blessing from you,
why every breath of life is an
immense gift that comes only
from you, our very life.
But Satan answered the Lord and said, “Is it for nothing that Job is God-fearing? Have you not surrounded him and his family and all that he has with your protection? But now put forth your hand and touch anything that he has, and surely he will blaspheme you to your face.” And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power; only do not lay a hand upon his person.”
Job 1:9-10, 11-12
Your words, O Lord,
assure us that no matter what
pains and hurts,
trials and sufferings we
go through physically and
emotionally are still nothing
compared to the immeasurable
gift of being alive; each day, each
morning, each moment is a a gift from
you no one can ever take, not even
Satan with his evil.
Teach us to value our lives,
to value life itself especially at its
weakest stages in the womb
and while approaching the tomb
of old age and sickness.
As we celebrate today the memorial
of the twin brothers Saints Cosmas
and Damian, the patron saints of all
physicians, we pray for all doctors especially
those in far-flung areas serving the
poorest of the poor, those in the academe
forming future doctors, those
working hard amid limited resources
including time in finding cure
and remedies to their patients;
bless the doctors "persecuted" in many
ways for doing what is right, those burdened
with the demands of the profession
and the call of their families and friends;
Bless our doctors,
use their hands in caring for us,
in healing us of our sickness and
diseases, cover them
with your protection against
all harm and sickness,
give them fulfillment in their lives
and please,
tap their shoulders, touch their hearts
to let them know they are loved
and appreciated; forgive us
for not being able to thank our doctors,
to cheer them because we patients
are so busy with our sickness and pains.
Amen.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-25 ng Setyembre, 2022
Larawan kuha ng may-akda sa Pangasinan, Abril 2022.
Diyos Ama naming
mapagmahal,
kami ay ipag-adya
sa lahat ng kapahamakan
at mga kapinsalaan sa
pagdaraan ngayon ng
super-typhoon;
hindi namin mapigilang
maalaala malaking pagbaha
noong petsa Setyembre 26 din
ng taong 2009 nang manalasa ang
bagyong Ondoy; kaya't dalangin
namin ang paghupa nitong
napaka-sungit na panahon
kung tawagi'y super typhoon.
Sa mga sandaling ito
ng malalakas na buhos ng ulan
at walang tigil na paghampas
at pagbugso ng malalakas na
hangin, aming idinadalangin maliliit
naming mga kapatid, lalo't higit mga
naroon sa mga baybaying dagat at
malapit sa ilog, yaong mga walang
sariling tirahan, at mga nasa barong-
barong: sila nawa ay makalikas sa
mga ligtas na lugar hanggang
makalipas malalakas na ulan at hangin.
Ipinapanalangin namin mga
volunteers nasa rescue operations:
ingatan po ninyo sila sa lahat ng
kapahamakan, iligtas at pangalagaan
po Ninyo kanilang mga pamilya at
mahal sa buhay habang sila ay
abala sa paglilingkod sa mga mamamayang
apektado ng kalamidad; gayon din po
ang mga nasa iba't ibang sangay ng
pamahalaan at mga nasa media na kumakalap
ng mga balita upang magkaroon kami ng
tumpak na kalagayan ng mga nasalanta.
O Diyos naming makapangyarihan,
hindi man mapipigilan pananalasa ng
kalikasan, buksan at panibaguhin
aming mga kalooban upang kami
ay magdamayan, magtulungan
bilang iyong pinili at hinirang na
sambayanan; gayun din naman,
sana amin nang mapagtanto at
pangatawanan pangangalaga sa
kalikasan na aming pinabayaan
sanhi ng mga pansariling kaluguran.
Hinihiling naming ang lahat ng ito
sa ngalan ni Hesus na Iyong Anak at
aming Tagapagligtas,
sa kapangyarihan ng Espiritu Santo,
magpasawalang-hanggan.
Amen.
O mahal na Birheng Maria
aming Ina, kami ay iyong
ipanalangin at samahan,
liwanagan at tanglawan
paglalakbay sa gitna ng
kadiliman nitong buhay,
sa malakas na unos
kami ay magtiwala
tanging kaligtasa'y
kay Kristo lamang.
Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 18 August 2022
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Spirituality Center, Novaliches, QC, 2018.
Intimacy with God and with others is a journey that is often long and difficult, painstaking but so wonderful. It is a process with highs and lows but something that could come out as a precious gift we must keep and nurture.
Mr. Webster defines intimacy as “close familiarity or friendship” or simply, “closeness”.
But being close does not necessarily mean intimacy. True closeness in intimacy means finding and sharing a “sacred space” with someone that is built on mutual trust and sincerity where we bare our true selves to offer it to the other person. It is in this sacred space where intimacy grows as we become “engaging” with the other person, even with God, like in bantering.
There is one beautiful incident in the gospel I always love relating with the topic of intimacy, the story of the Canaanite woman who begged Jesus to heal her daughter.
At that time Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, “Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon.” But he did not say a word in answer to her. His disciples came and asked him, “Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.”
Matthew 15:21-23
Photo by author, Caesarea in Israel, May 2017.
Here we find the first difficulty with intimacy which happens often in the most unexpected situations like Jesus going to a foreign territory where we are not most comfortable or most at home, where we are so uncertain with everything and everyone.
Is it not that is when we grow intimate with others and with God, when we were in the most desolate situations, when we were weakest when suddenly somebody came to strengthen us in our journey?
It was not a simple walk in the park though because it was as if like adding salt to our injuries when at our lowest point in our lives we were asked to even go lower, bare our vulnerabilities further until we were stripped naked of our pretensions and defenses, standing naked and true.
"That is intimacy, of still believing, of being sincere, of still being beautiful and good in the worst situations with one's self with the other person. It is a sacred space where anyone can come and be welcomed, be affirmed, or simply be safe for a moment while the storm is passing through you."
Photo by Dr. Mylene A. Santos, MD, 2021.
Notice how Jesus tested the Canaanite woman to see how engaging she could be in their conversation, of how willing was she to get closer to him and be intimate to gain his healing.
But the woman came and did him homage, saying, “Lord, help me.” He said in reply, “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.” Then Jesus said to her in reply, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed from that hour.
Matthew 15:25-28
I like this part; it was more of the woman bantering with Jesus than bargaining. Try situating yourself there as if the woman was already feeling close with Jesus, engaging him in their conversation when he used the colloquial expression “dog” used by Jews at that time to refer to Gentiles or pagans. Of course, there was no any racial or malicious intent on the part of Jesus in using that common expression of his time; in some translations, he used the word “puppies”.
And that is where intimacy kicked in: when the Canaanite woman told him how dogs – or puppies – eat just the scraps from the master’s table. Here is a woman baring everything to Jesus, taking off all her defenses totally accepting the realities of life, of them outside the own circle of Jesus who was a Jew but still believing in him and in herself that she is worthy of attention, of healing for her daughter.
Photo by author, sunrise at Lake Tiberias, Israel, May 2017.
That is intimacy, of still believing, of being sincere, of still being beautiful and good in the worst situations with one’s self with the other person. It is a sacred space where anyone can come and be welcomed, be affirmed, or simply be safe for a moment while the storm is passing through you. This is very true for those who had undergone surgery when you were there on the narrow operating table, naked and everything, just praying and hoping everything would go well, without any complications later. That is why I admired doctors more than ever because after a surgery and you visit them for follow up consultations, it is as if he had not seen the worst in you, still friendly and casual. Most of all, trying so hard to keep you well and healthy!
"Intimacy is the reason why everyone says life is a journey."
To be intimate with Jesus is like continuing the journey with him in foreign territories like when a man and a woman get married not knowing what’s really in store for them or a young man getting ordained as priest or a lady taking religious vows without realizing the real weight of Christ’s cross to carry. Many times in life, we just forge on in life with our family and friends, and with God most especially, engaging him in conversations even debates to show him how convinced we are in ourselves, in our cause, in our prayers. We grow intimate only with someone who is willing to accept us.
Intimacy is the reason why everyone says life is a journey – you always have a companion, somebody you break bread with which is the literal meaning of “companion” from the Latin terms cum panis.
The most beautiful part of this journey in intimacy, whether with God or with another person is that as we become one in being intimate with the other, the more we become free, not constricted nor limited because the more we love, the more we trust each other that even when we are not together physically, we can still be intimate — because intimacy is actually a spiritual reality, a gift only God can give for those willing to take the difficult journey.
That is why, we priests remain celibate: our celibacy is the clearest sign of our intimacy not only with Jesus our Eternal Priest but also with you, our flock, the people of God which is the Church.
When parishioners give their pastors a good chance to pray and recreate to nurture their intimacy with Jesus, the more priests value their celibacy, the more they are true and faithful in serving the people, the Body of Christ, the Church.
Anyone who finds true intimacy finds true love who is God alone. That is the essence of our celibacy as priests. And that is why, priests and religious, as well as married couples and singles joyful in their state of life too who have found intimacy would never venture to look for other “loves” because they have already found God, our true intimacy. It would be madness to any priest to break his vow of celibacy or, even to married couples to go on extra-marital affairs when you already have God. Amen.
May you find and experience intimacy in your life journey.
Photo by Ka Ruben, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 04 August 2022.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle C, 31 July 2022
Ecclesiastes 1:2, 2:21-23 ><}}}*> Colossians 3:1-5, 9-11 ><}}}*> Luke 12:13-21
My former parish, photo by Mr. Gelo Nicolas Carpio, January 2020.
Last Friday I officiated at the funeral Mass of a younger first cousin; a week earlier, I had anointed him with Oil for the Sick with general absolution of his sins, commending him to God as he was afflicted with a rare disease that attacks the autoimmune system.
It is one of the difficult part in our lives as priests, when sickness and death come closest at home considering that fact that I officiated his wedding about 20 years ago and baptized his eldest son now grown up. That is why our readings today are so timely for me because my cousin Gilbert was only 49 when he died, being the most silent and “goodest” of my cousins who never got into any trouble nor any sickness while we were growing up together in Bocaue, Bulacan. How I felt like Qoheleth, saying….
Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, vanity of vanities! All things are vanity. Here is one who has labored with wisdom and knowledge and skill and yet another, who has not labored over it, must leave the property. This is also vanity and a great misfortune.
Ecclesiastes 1:2, 2:21
Photo by author, Pangasinan, April 2022.
Qoheleth is what the author calls himself which is not a proper name but a function of a speaker or a preacher to an assembly which is in Latin ecclesia; hence, it is called the Book of Ecclesiastes.
Despite the tone of his message of “vanity of vanities”, the author is not a “kill joy” or KJ who is provoking a culture of pessimism; in fact, he is trying to search for what truly lasts, for the Absolute good who is God. We have seen how in literature and music that poems and songs of despair are often the most beautiful because the anguish we feel can paradoxically be expressions of our burning desire for something, someone more permanent, more lasting and unchanging – who else and nothing else but God who is not vanity!
If we try to own every line of Qoheleth and reflect deeply on it, we somehow feel a strong similarity with our own cries of despair in life when nothing matters anymore especially with the lost of a loved one, or something so precious that deep inside us we felt with certitude that only God could fill that void.
Yes, all is vanity if we are cut off from God, when all our efforts and our very lives are separated from him because he alone is the Reason. Everything, everyone is meaningful because of God. That is why in the second reading, St. Paul is asking us to “seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God” (Col.3:1).
In this world where everything is measured in popularity, in being viral or trending that are all vanities because of their temporariness, so many have fallen into the trap of empty promises of modern lifestyles. See how despite the affluence we now enjoy, we have become more empty in life, more alienated from each other even from one’s self, lacking in meaning and depth in life and existence. Sometimes, results can be fatal when people realize what they have been seeing and hearing in media are not at all true and so far from reality that death becomes an escape than a direction that leads us to the Absolutely Perfect, God and eternal life.
Someone in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, tell. my brother to share the inheritance with me.” He replied to him, “Friend, who appointed me as your judge and arbitrator?” Then he said to the crowd, “Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one’s life does not consist of possessions.” Then he told them a parable.
Luke 12:13-16
Photo by Dr. Mylene A. Santos, MD, 2020.
Like Qoheleth, here we find Jesus acting like a “kill-joy” to the man requesting his help to have his share of the inheritance. His responses seems so abrupt and worst of all, very cold! But, it was not really addressed to the man asking the Lord’s intervention. Notice how Luke tells us Jesus addressing the man as “friend” before turning to the “crowd”.
Jesus is still on his way to Jerusalem and saw another opportunity today to teach the people – the crowd – not just the man asking his help of something of high importance in this life which is of being “rich in what matters to God” (Lk.12:21).
Jesus is just and fair, so loving and merciful, very mindful of our needs; however, in the light of the previous gospel scenes we have reflected, we find that Jesus concerns himself only in what matters to God. He does care about our bodily and material needs that he assures us to not worry so much about these because God will never forsake us.
Jesus had come not to be our judge and arbiter on matters about our material and worldly concerns like getting rich and famous and other vanities in life; Jesus came to teach us about what matters to God like love and mercy, kindness and care, justice and freedom. Jesus came to teach us ways of how we may inherit eternal life!
We do not have to spell out and enumerate one by one these things that matters to God of which Jesus is most concerned with; eventually, as we journey with him in life, as we carry our cross, we realize slowly in life these things that matter to God are for sure not material possessions, most often things that matter after death.
That is the grace we find ironically in every death – when somebody dies, we realize deep inside what truly matters to God. As they say, death is the best equalizer in life. And best teacher.
Last week we have the beautiful series of readings from the Book of the Prophet Jeremiah, teeming with life and assurances of love and protection from God. We see how the loving hands of God are like of the potter who molds us into fine earthen vessels of his majesty and glory.
Photo by author, March 2019.
Sometimes we sink into so much self-pity when things are not turning out according to our plans in life, forgetting how God loves us so much, of how he uses even the most tragic and painful events in our lives for our own good because he believes in us.
Yes. God believes in you! Everything is vanity without him, without you!
Would you rather spend everything just for a piece of land or some money or level of fame than living in peace, the greatest gift we can all have in life? That is the whole point of God in telling Jeremiah about being a clay in the potter’s hand – many times in our lives we have to be crushed and mashed, even reduced to being grounded for us to emerge finer and refined, better and more beautiful than before.
Recall those trying days of the past when you chose to bear it all, to be silent and patient. Maybe for a while or a few moments our opponents seemed to have won, or have the upper hand but in the long run, we find we are more fruitful, we are more peaceful because everything and everyone has become meaningful in God. That is because we love.
Of all that things that matter with God that we should be rich is love. Love, love, love. As the Beatles said, all you need is love! True. Sometimes it could be foolish to love, to let go of things and insults and pains and hurts.
But, God is greater than our hearts (1 Jn.3:20) and can never be outdone in generosity.
The more we love, the more we are given with more love. That is when we become truly rich in what matters to God. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 26 July 2022
My dad at his office, Bureau of Forestry (now Forest Development), 1972 in his typical shirt-jacket, wearing his wedding ring.
Today is supposed to be a day for grandparents being the Memorial of St. Joachim and St. Anna, the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary – therefore, the lolo and lola of Jesus Christ. When my father Wilfredo was still alive, he would always tell as that if he had been a girl, he would have surely been named Anna because in 1932, it was only St. Anne who was celebrated with a feast in the Church.
Now you know, today is my dad’s 90th birthday but now that he is in heaven, I am sure they are no longer celebrating any birthdays at all for they are in eternity, forever happy and joyful, no more sufferings and pain.
According to my mom, my dad’s first crush was Dorothy Jones or Nida Blanca, his classmate at Adamson High School; he would just smile when we would ask him it it were true as we look at his annual that was lost to flood.
It is us who are left behind who celebrate their birthdays here because despite the 22 years that have passed since his sudden death, the pain and emptiness have remained. That is the saddest and most difficult part in the death of a loved one: I cannot say we just get used to “it” because though he is absent, deep in my heart I could feel him present in me and with me.
Maybe that is what they call as healing – when we learn to live, find meaning in life, and most of all “mature in life” as we age hoping someday we would finally meet in eternity when we shall all be totally complete again, literally and figuratively speaking.
Lately as I age, I notice a marked change in me in remembering my dad when I see myself more in him and likewise see him more with me. Somehow, every day I have slowly realized that old age indeed is the final stage of human maturity with all of God’s bountiful blessings while it subtly reminds us of our own twilight too.
Maybe that is the reason why we mellow and become more spiritual as we get older. Our departed loved ones, especially with those we are closest with, continue to teach and guide us just like when we were kids. And stupid.
The more I look at my face every morning and see those wrinkles and lines topped with white hair, I get more convinced I look like my dad.
Anak nga ako ng tatay ko! – whatever that means.
My parents’ wedding at St. Rita Parish in Philam, QC, 26 April 1964, reception was at the Aristocrat Cubao; my mom kept the receipt but again we lost to flood.
Perhaps, like in the experience of St. Mary Magdalene, we learn to relate with our departed loved ones on a higher level, no longer physical but something spiritual and more personal.
Basta! It is difficult to explain but we move on with life, still limping and complete without them on our side yet we feel more intensely them with us at the “other side” looking at us, laughing or smiling at us, sometimes irritated or covering their face because of shame, but always loving us, believing in us.
And that is why for me, especially as a priest trying my very best to live my celibacy as faithfully as my dad had been as a husband to my mom, he has always been my inspiration in everything. In fact, he is always the one I think as my audience every time I write these blogs. Every Sunday, I imagine him one of those seated on the pew celebrating with me in our Mass, imagining how he would be bored or delighted with my homilies. And I am very sure of him, whether he liked or not my blogs and homilies, he would never tell me and just keep it to himself but would surely call his brother Arturo or sister Neneng or nieces Toots and Joji how he liked my stories and preaching.
A few years ago when I started blogging by relating a secular music with the Sunday gospel, I learned that David Gates of The Bread actually had his departed father – not his girlfriend at that time as inspiration in composing “Make It With You” in 1970.
During an interview at the peak of their success, Gates was asked of one more thing he would wish in life as they were so famous. He told the interviewer that he wished his dad were alive to experience his joys in having a successful career. And that was when he explained it was actually his father he was referring to in every line of their greatest song that was repackaged as a love song addressing it to a girl.
Hey, have you ever tried Really reaching out for the other side? I may be climbing on rainbows But baby, here goes
Dreams, they’re for those who sleep Life is for us to keep And if you’re wondering what this song is leading to I want to make it with you I really think that we could make it, girl
Like Gates, that is one thing I have always wished for since my dad passed away 22 years ago: how I wished he had heard me for 16 years having regular programs at Radio Veritas to which he had always been glued to since the time of the late Fr. Ben Carreon; how I wished he could have visited me in my own parish when I finally became a parish priest; and now, how I wish he could see our beautiful University where I am the chaplain.
It is a grace to get old most especially when you have old folks to look up to, those who have gone ahead of us to eternity as we now approach its threshold too.
Life can be short or long Love can be right or wrong And if I chose the one I’d like to help me through I’d like to make it with you I really think that we could make it, girl.
By the way, my dad died on my mom’s birthday on June 17, 2000. I always say that’s a proof of how much my dad loved my mom so much, his birth into eternal life was my mom’s birthday. But, that is easier said than done because the reality is it was doubly hard for us losing our dad on my mom’s birthday. Especially for Mommy who had never been happy in life. And that fact makes his death more painful and even difficult for us.
My father loved my mother so much. Since childhood until I became a priest, he never ate without my mother with him at the table. He does her coffee and did all the cooking at home. Every Sunday was a feast with his pochero, chili con carne, mechado. Bulalo was our simplest fare that is why we all have gout too!
My mom and dad always together even in parties.
On the first two years since his death, I would ask him whenever I would visit his grave why did he die on mom’s birthday? Why that date when there are 364 other days?
After two years, I felt his answer: me and my mom had some LQ at that time and I did not go home for a month but I would still visit his grave when I felt him telling me, “Nick, I died on your mom’s birthday so you would also love her as I have loved her.”
And that is what I have always tried to fulfill until now. Like what the late Luther Vandross expressed in his 2003 hit “Dance With My Father”.
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door And I’d hear how my mother cried for him I pray for her even more than me I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much But could you send back the only man she loved? I know you don’t do it usually But dear Lord she’s dying to dance with my father again Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
My father never asked me to become a priest but it was him who unconsciously planted the seeds of my vocation when I would always see him praying before our altar before leaving for work and upon arriving home in the evening. It was from him I have learned and realized what true love is and most of all, that indeed, God is love. He loved us so much and even though it has been 22 years since he died, I can still feel his love.
How I wish his grandchildren have all met him too.
Thank you in taking time to bear with me, in listening me bare my heart out.
God bless to all the grandparents! And moms and dads too!
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