The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Feast of St. Joseph the Worker, 01 May 2023
Genesis 1:26-2:3 ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[>< Matthew 13:54-58
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2023.
Glory and praise to you,
God our loving Father
in giving us a share
in your work in making
this world a better place;
despite our sinfulness and
turning away from you
in the time of Adam and Eve,
you still call us to participate
in your work of holiness
by calling St. Joseph to
marry the Blessed Virgin
Mary, the Mother of your Son
and our Lord Jesus Christ.
Despite the difficult situation
and work ahead of him,
St. Joseph obeyed you,
working in silence,
doing your will,
taking care of Jesus and Mary
that in his work,
people recognized
Jesus!
Jesus came to his native place and taught the people in their synagogue. They were astonished and said, “Where did this man get such wisdom and mighty deeds? Is he not the carpenter’s son?”
Matthew 13:54-55
Like St. Joseph,
may we not find only
the labor and amount
of work to be done
in our tasks and jobs
but most of all,
that we may find
you in Jesus Christ,
the very meaning of
our life and work.
Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 April 2023
Reflections on the occasion of my 25th year in the Priesthood
Photo by Mr. Jong Arcano before the Mass with Ms. Marissa Flores (former SVP-GMA7 News), the Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma, of course, Ms. Jessica Soho, Ms. Jaileen Jimeno of GMA News with Mr. Ben Cal of Phil. News Agency at the back.
As I have promised you yesterday, today we reflect about the women the Lord had sent me to meet him, to follow him.
My first assignment from 1998 to 2010 after ordination was teacher-administrator of the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) and Immaculate Conception School of Malolos (ICSM). My students would always ask me why I left the news to become a priest. My usual answer given in a jest, especially to the boys, was that I wanted to “love” more women than just one. It was a “birong totoo” because that was how I felt when I began examining my life and heard anew my vocation following that conversation with Atty. Dan.
During my retreat last March while praying over the many graces and blessings I have not been aware of, I realized how God prepared me for the priesthood and its call of celibacy. As I looked back in my life, he has blessed me with great women, so beautiful inside and outside. They were gifts that even if I did not get married because I chose priesthood and celibacy, I feel so blessed with that unique relationships with these wonderful women who continue to enrich my life as a person, as a priest.
First, my Bosses in work have all been women.
Photo by Ms. Karen Galarpe as shared during our 2017 Homecoming at the Varsitarian; Ms. Gina has long been away and I could not find our old photos. Nonetheless, in this photo are Sr. Gina who proclaimed the first reading at my anniversary who was then assistant of our Asst. Publications Director Ms. Jesselyn dela Cruz to her right.
My first boss was Ms. Gina Bautista-Navarette. She was the editor-in-chief of the UST’s Varsitarian when I applied as a news reporter in 1984. Even at that time, she has always been the epitome of “beauty and brains” – so lovely and so kind, but really tough inside, especially with her knowledge and beliefs. She finished Industrial Engineering and went to work first at PRC as one of its young executives, then to Johnson & Johnson and then to Jollibee as VP for Marketing. When Jollibee bought Greenwich Pizza, she became its GM and a few years later, became the President of Red Ribbon when Jollibee acquired the famous cake company. While still the VP for Marketing at Jollibee, I invited her to our school for a career talk to our students. She in turn would call me sometimes for comments for their products which I enjoyed because I had valid reasons to eat burgers and palabok!
Later on, Gina emailed me of their moving to Canada for a “lifestyle shift” but even then, she had never forgotten to greet me during my ordination anniversaries as deacon and priest! That is why, whenever I remember and pray for Gina, “it is the Lord” whom I see.
She came about two hours early last Tuesday because she said, “gusto ko lang makausap ka muna Father ng konti.”
My second boss was Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma. Yes. The Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma of television news. Late have I realized the super blessing given to me by God to have worked under Ms. TMP as we called her.
So tall and lovely, surely better than that girl from Ipanema! But, in her I found really a WOMAN in the truest sense. Astig. But with a lot of sense of humor. So kalog. And yes, so kind and thoughtful. What I could not forget is her sense of humility. Imagine, the goddess of TV News for so long that you would surely believe if she tells you World War III has begun, is in fact a humble person because she says sorry. I have personally experienced her saying sorry once or twice but on other occasions, she has that tender way of letting you know she is sorry like saying “kumusta na kid?” or just being extra nice on certain days. Whenever I feel in a dilemma of saying sorry or not, when I feel so proud, I remember Ms. Tina who despite her stature and every right and privilege would always be that humble to say sorry.
Another thing I learned from Ms. TMP was when she told me why she would always reprimand me with my scripts and reports: she insisted She would insisted excellence in our work. Later in the seminary and as a priest, I would speak of excellence as holiness, of giving your best always. It is the very heart of St. Therese’s “little way”, of doing small things excellently.
I will always be proud of Ms. Tina. Monzon-Palma. Even she had moved to other networks, she remained our kapuso, seeing us, conversing with us her former colleagues at GMA-7. She came to my 50th birthday and again in my anniversary. In fact, she came so early because she told me, she just wanted to talk to me. Truly, I could say that afternoon, “It is the Lord” when I was with her.
Our President, Dra. Caroline Enriquez in red, to her right is Mr. Rico Santos, VP for Finance of FUMC and wife Dra. Carol; at the middle is my predecessor Fr. Lito Caliwag, Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD our VP for Student Affairs, standing next to her is Dr. Vic Santos, President of FUMC with his son Angelo and wife, Dra. Mary Anne.
My third and current Boss is again a woman, also beauty and brains, but most holy and truly a Wonder Woman. The President of the Our Lady of Fatima University (OLFU) and Board Member of Fatima University Medical Center (FUMC) of which I am both the chaplain: Dr. Caroline Santos-Enriquez, MD.
I first met Dra. Caroline in 2010-2011 when I was first assigned as attached priest here at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima in Valenzuela. Twice the chaplain was indisposed and I had to celebrate Masses for him. After I was given a parish of my own to shepherd, Doctora would always invite me for talks in OLFU and twice to address their graduates at the PICC.
During my retreat last month, she came to my prayers. Yes, “It is the Lord” experience again and I felt so ashamed before God not realizing this immense grace and blessing of how a great woman of faith who has hurdled so many trials in life, a very wise manager and steward who has steered OLFU to what it is today with six campuses would believe in me? Our Bishop told me during our clergy reshuffle in December 2020 that he had asked Dra. Enriquez to recommend to him three names he would assign as chaplain. I was her first choice, and again, “It is the Lord!”
Of the other women and friends God gave me to lead me back to his Son Jesus, will share them Monday in our next blog. For now, I too believe that nothing happens by accident. God knew everything beforehand that I would be sent out of the seminary in 1982 only to go back after nine years and become a priest 25 years ago. In all those years, he blessed me with so many friends, especially friends who are girls, some are ladies, and many are women like my three Bosses in the professional life. They are among the best of his blessings I was not aware until I went back to those 25 years of my priesthood. It is the Lord I have seen in them. And like James Taylor in his 1971 song Places in My Past, I could sing…
There are ladies in my life
Lovely ladies in these lazy days
And though I never took a wife
May I say that I have loved me one or two
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-12 ng Abril 2023
Larawan mula sa freebibleimages.org.
Batay sa kuwento
noong pasko ng pagkabuhay
ni Kristo,
patakbong tumungo
sa kanyang libingan
sina Pedro at Juan,
ang alagad na minamahal;
wala nga doon si Kristo
mga tanging naiwan at natagpuan
ay ang kayong lino na pinambalot
sa kanyang katawan at ang
panyong ibinalot sa ulo
na parehong nakatiklop
at magkahiwalay.
Larawan mula sa freebibleimages.org.
Kung saan nanggaling mga bagong damit ni Kristong muling nabuhay sa atin ay walang isinasaysay ngunit kung tayo ay magninilay napakagandang aral sa atin ang binibigay ng mga naiwang kayong lino: ngayong Pasko ng Pagkabuhay, iwanan na natin mga lumang damit ng pag-uugali sa atin ay bumabalot tulad ng pag-iimbot at mga makasariling paghahangad; huwag nang itiklop bagkus hubarin at iwanan masasakit na karanasan upang lubusang malasap tuwa at galak ni Kristong muling nabuhay; atin na ring hubarin mga damit ng pagluluksa sa masasama at di magandang nakaraan bagkus isuot malinis at bagong pagkatao na hinugasan sa dugo ni Kristo noong Biyernes Santo.
Hindi natin maisusuot
bago nating katauhan kay Kristo
bilang kanyang mga naligtas
at napatawad
hangga't hindi natin
hinuhubad
dati nating pagkatao
sa kasalanan at
kasamaan;
sa isang liham ni San Pablo
ating mapananaligan
mga aral niya tungkol sa
dapat nating kasuotan:
ang pagiging mahabagin,
maganda ang kalooban,
mapagpakumbaba,
mabait at matiisin.
Higit sa lahat,
maibigin.
Iyan ang bagong damit
natin kay Kristo
at huwag natin
hayaang malukot
at marumihan
ng kasalanan!
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday in the Easter Octave, 12 April 2023
Acts 3:1-10 ><}}}'> + <'{{{>< Luke 24:13-35
“The Road to Emmaus” painting by American Daniel Bonnell from fineartamerica.com.
Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ
in leading us back to you,
to Jerusalem in those
many nights of our lives
when we walked the opposite
direction of going back to Emmaus,
to our previous ways of life like
those two disciples on that
Easter afternoon.
Oh what a joy,
dearest Lord that even for a while
you walk with us going the
opposite direction,
listening to our frustrations and
disappointments when things do not
happen as we have planned and
expected; no coercions, no reprimands
except for calling us "foolish" and
"slow of the heart" to believe the
Scriptures (Lk.24:25) for that is
what we really are!
Forgive us, Jesus,
when we easily give up
to failures and shortcomings
that we leave you and your mission
entrusted to us; help us find our way
back to you, to Jerusalem!
Most especially,
keep our hearts "burning"
with love and zeal for you,
sharing you with others,
strengthening them,
raising them up like
what Peter and John did
to the crippled man at the
Beautiful Gate
as we continue to seek
you O Lord even
in darkness and emptiness,
sadness and losses,
sickness and failures.
Amen.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 22 March 2023.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 07 April 2023
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.
It was now about noon and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon because of an eclipse of the sun. Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle. Jesus cried our in a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”; and when he had said this he breathed his last.
Luke 23:44-46
Do you have a “bucket list”, of things to do before turning a certain age or before dying? Very often we read in social media articles of sample “bucket lists”, of things to do, things to see, food to eat before one dies as if these are the ultimate things or cities or food in the world!
I am sorry I do not believe in such “bucket list” no matter how good is that movie of the same title. It is all non-sense! Why spend so much time and energies of things to do before dying or turning 50 or 60 or whatever age when we should be making the most out of every present moment because we could die any time!
We will all die one day for sure. But, will we die well? Our death is our most wonderful and lasting gift to our loved ones if we die for them and for others, if we lived a fruitful life we can leave for them. The question we should be asking is “how do we live our lives meaningfully now in the present so that when we die, our lives would continue to bear fruit in the generations that will follow us?” Stop wondering or asking about what we can do in the future or the years we have left to live because that is highly hypothetical. It has not happened yet and might not even happen at all if we die soon enough. Get real by living fully in the present! Coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life. The moment we realize we shall die one day, that is when we start living authentically. And joyfully.
Jesus died so well on that Good Friday because he was able to surrender everything to the Father and for us all because he lived fully that is why he was able to surrender or give or commend his spirit. How about us? How sad that many times our loved ones left us with much pain and regrets because we never fully lived with them nor enjoy precious moments with them while still alive. Live fully in love and joy, forgiveness and mercy. Celebrate life daily. Life is too short to spend it in dramas and wishful thinking.
At the hour of our death like Jesus on that Good Friday, can we also give others and God our spirit of love and mercy, our spirit of joy and kindness? Or, we are still busy thinking what else we can do in this life? What if we are called back to God now, at this very moment?
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus Christ,
grant me the grace to live
my life in you,
with you,
and through you
to the fullest in every here and now
so that if ever I should die any moment,
I am able to commend to the Father
my spirit back to him
without regrets,
without pains,
without sin
but only with joy and gratitude
that my loved ones would
feel and nurture
until we all meet again
in your kingdom in heaven.
Amen.
Thank you for following our reflections on the Seven Last Words of Jesus on the Cross. May you have a meaningful Holy Week and a joyful Easter! God bless you!
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 06 April 2023
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.
There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth. When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.” And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.
John 19:29-30
Every Maundy Thursday, people await that most unique part of the Mass every year when the priest washes the feet of some members of the community. As a priest, it is one of the most humbling experiences I have had when a brother priest washed my feet on that Mass I attended in 2008 and 2021.
But there is something more beautiful to the ritual washing of feet. It is the context and words that accompany that: “Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end” (John 13:1).
The Greek word for the “end” is telos which is not just a terminal end in itself but indicates or connotes direction. Or fulfillment and perfection, not just a ceasing or end or stoppage of life or any operation.
When Jesus said on the Cross “It is finished”, he meant he had fulfilled his mission, that is, he had perfectly loved us to the end by giving us his very life.
At his death on the Cross, Jesus showed us perfectly in no uncertain terms his love for us, the Father’s love for us that he had told to Nicodemus at the start of the fourth gospel that “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son” (Jn. 3:16).
There on the Cross this was definitively fulfilled and perfected more than ever. Jesus did not have to die on the Cross but he chose to go through it because of his love for us.
Here we find the beautiful meaning of love. It is not just obeying the commandments nor being good and kind with everyone. Love in its totality is the perfection of life. It is our only destiny in life, our call to life from the very beginning. Love, love, love. Keep on loving until it hurts. Until the end.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also must love one another. No one has ever seen God. yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.
1 John 4:11-12
From that same letter, John declared at the very start that God is love which according to Pope Benedict XVI in his first encyclical is the most profound statement about God found only in Christianity.
My dear friends, only God can love us perfectly. Only Jesus can love us perfectly like what he did on the Cross. Human love is always imperfect. In our imperfect love, let us find Jesus filling up, making whole, perfecting our love for each other. Let us die in our selves sometimes when we have to let go with each one’s imperfection like when they make side comments. Forget all about revenge. Forgive. Understand the shortcomings of everyone. Accept and own the pains and hurts inflicted on us by our loved ones like our mom and dad, your former wife or husband, your friends, of those who have hurt you in words and deeds. That is being like Christ, dying on the Cross because of love.
Let us pray for those we love and those who love us despite our imperfections.
Lord Jesus Christ,
how I wish I could love until the end,
how I wish I could say too like you
"It is finished";
forgive me because many times with me,
the pains and hurts I have had are not yet
finished, even festering inside me,
eating me up, rotting inside me
that I could not grow and bloom in you.
Forgive me and teach me to forgive too
for it is in forgiving we truly love
perfectly like you.
Amen.
Photo by my former student, Ms. April Oliveros on their ascent to Mt. Pulag, 25 March 2023.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday in the Third Week of Lent, 15 March 2023
Deuteronomy 4:1, 5-9 >> + << Matthew 5:17-19
Photo by author, La Mesa Eco-Park from Our Lady of Fatima University-QC, February 2023.
Thank you very much, O God
our loving Father for being
so close with us in a very personal manner,
giving us laws meant to lead us closer
to living with one another in peace
and harmony, and eventually
discover the beauty of love.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.”
Matthew 5:17
This season of Lent,
help us realize and discover
that the laws as expressions of justice
are the minimum requirements of love;
the fulfillment of laws is love
which is more than a special way of living
but itself the perfection of life
because when we truly love,
we go beyond the letters of the laws
and do more than what is required
that slowly we become a new person
in Jesus Christ.
Enable us, O Lord,
in fulfilling the laws
into love where we become more alive,
more real,
more personal
more perfect
like you.
Amen.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-13 ng Marso 2023
Larawan kuha ng may-akda sa ilang ng Jordan, Mayo 2019.
Apatnapung araw
nag-ayuno si Kristo
tinukso ng diyablo sa ilang:
“Kung ikaw ang Anak ng Diyos,
Gawin mong tinapay itong bato.”
Bagaman kanyang tiyan
ay walang laman,
hindi nalito si Kristo
sa tukso ng diyablo
naging matibay
tulad ng bato
na buhay ng tao
di nakasalalay
sa tinapay
kungdi sa
Salita ng Diyos
na tunay
nating buhay at gabay.
Dapat nating pakatandaan
na hindi sapat
at lalong di dapat
mapuno tayong lagi
at mabusog
ng mga bagay ng mundo
dahil sa maraming pagkakataon
tayo ay nababaon sa
balon ng pagkagumon
kung laging mayroon tayo;
sa pag-aayuno
tayo napapanuto
tumitibay ating pagkatao
tuwing nasasaid
ating kalooban
nawawalang ng laman
nagkakapuwang sa Diyos
na tangi nating yaman!
Nguni't mayroon pang isang anyo
itong pag-aayuno
higit pang matindi
sa pagkagutom
na madaling tiisin
kesa pagka-uhaw
na nanunuot
sa kaibuturan
ng ating katawan
hindi maaring ipagpaliban
gagawa at gagawa
ng paraan
upang matighaw
panunuyo ng labi
at lalamunan
madampian
kahit tilamsikan
ng konting kaginhawahan!
Maraming uri ating
pagka-uhaw:
pagka-uhaw ng laman
at sa laman
nahahayag
sa kayamanan,
kapangyarihan,
at katanyagan
na pawang mga anyo lamang
ng iisa nating pagka-uhaw
sa Diyos at Kanyang pag-ibig
sana sa atin may pumansin
at kung maari
tayo ay kalingain,
intindihin,
at patawarin,
mga lihim nating mithiin,
inaasam, hinihiling.
Kay sarap namnamin
paanong si Hesus
ating Diyos at Panginoon
nag-ayuno upang
magutom at
mauhaw din
tulad natin
upang ipadama
pag-ibig Niya
sa atin; Siya lamang
ang pagkaing bubusog
sa atin
at inuming titighaw
sa pagka-uhaw natin
kaya pagsikapang
Siya ay tanggapin
at panatilihim sa
kalooban natin!
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-08 ng Marso 2023
Larawan kuha ni G. John Ryan Jacob sa Paco, Obando noong 02 Enero 2023.
KUWARESMA.
Apatnapung araw ng paghahanda
sa Pasko ng Pagkabuhay,
isang paglalakbay
gabay mga salita ng Diyos
sa atin ay bumubuhay
higit pa sa tinapay.
KUWARESMA.
Apatnapung araw ng pagtitiis
marami ang naiinis, naiinip
dahil sa kinagisnang buhay
na mabilis at madali
budhi ay di mapanatili
pati sarili hindi maibahagi.
KUWARESMA.
Apatnapung araw ng pananalangin
sa atin ay hiling
upang makapiling, maranasan
Diyos na mahabagin
namnamin at lasapin
pag-ibig Niyang ibinubuhos sa atin.
Sa panahon ng Kuwaresma
iwasang magkuwenta
at magbilang ng mga sakripisyo
dahil lingid sa ating kaalaman
higit ang biyaya at pagpapala
kapag tayo ay nagpaparaya;
marami ang may maling akala
sila ay nawawalan, nababawasan
kapag naglilimos o nag-aayuno
gayong ang totoo,
doon tayo napupuno
ng Espiritu Santo;
kung tutuusin
itong buhay natin ay araw-araw
na Kuwaresma kung saan
ating pananaw ay namumulat
na ang pinakamahalaga sa buhay
ay hindi kung ano ating taglay
kungdi yaong ating inaalay
at ibinibigay!
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 27 February 2023
Lent is my favorite season in our Church calendar: partly because of my melancholic tendencies and mostly, its closeness with the realities of life, of its daily “passovers” and exodus that eventually lead to Easter. That is why for me, life is a daily lent.
This became truest to me yesterday afternoon, the First Sunday of Lent when one of our elderly priests, Msgr. Vicente “Teng” Manlapig died past 3:00 PM at the Fatima University Medical Center in Valenzuela City where I serve as chaplain.
I am still in the process of gathering the many insights and realizations I have had these past three weeks when Mons. Teng was confined with the final five days in the ICU. What is so remarkable for me which dawned upon me yesterday is the fact that Mons. Teng is the second priest I had taken cared and died in the season of Lent. The first was the late Msgr. Macario Manahan in March 16, 2014, the Second Sunday of Lent at that time.
Yes, another monsignor I took care and died in the season of Lent. I was then assigned in San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista Parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan when Mons Macario retired in an apartment with his adopted family in the next barrio to my parish. Like Mons. Teng, I gave him daily communion and anointing of the sick during his final stretch of about two or three weeks before death. The only difference is that Mons. Macario passed away in my presence that Sunday afternoon; I visited Mons. Teng Sunday morning before he expired in the afternoon.
I have been wondering what must be God’s message for me in making me directly involved with two elderly priests dying in the season of Lent.
It seems to me for now that Lent is the best time for us priests to die because it leads to Easter. It would be a great extra bonus perhaps for us priests to die on Easter Sunday like the Jesuit Father Teilhard de Chardin or on Divine Mercy Sunday of the Easter Octave like the great St. John Paul II or at New Year’s eve like Pope Benedict XVI recently.
In my 24 years in priesthood, I have found our life, and death, follow a certain pattern. That is another topic I intend to develop further but for the moment, here is God showing me a pattern in priestly deaths in Lent which is the season characterized by prayer, fasting, alms-giving and penance.
Thursday night, Mons. Teng he asked to me listen to his “story” which turned out to be a confession, his final one. And what a tremendous grace from God for it was a triumph against his final temptations by the devil. How wonderful that he died yesterday, the First Sunday of Lent when the gospel from Matthew was the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness. The hospital ICU is the modern wilderness of temptations where there is the macabre atmosphere of gloom and dead-seriousness, cold and lifeless with just the eerie beeps and whirring or humming of various machines accompanying patients in separate cubicles along with doctors and nurses garbed in overalls and masks like in those movie scenes of invasion by aliens or zombies.
I must confess that after witnessing another death of a senior priest this season of Lent with my ministry this past year being in the hospital, I actually feel more afraid than ever of getting old, of getting sick.
It seems to me for now
that Lent is the best time for us priests
to die because it leads to Easter.
I cannot say I am ready. No. The more I see myself afraid and so unprepared. It would be a big lie no fool would ever believe to claim I am ready to get sick and die. And even if I felt so tired and sleepy watching over Mons. Teng these past weeks, I could not pray in silence to God and ask him that he spare me those sufferings. Yes, the sense of entitlement crossed my mind many times like the thought “siguro naman, pwede na ako ma exempt, Lord” but no! I could not ask God. I feel so ashamed. It felt so bad on the taste-buds. Whenever such thoughts crossed my mind, there was always something or someone inside me preventing me from asking God for that privilege. Or grace? Because our suffering in sickness is precisely the very gift and grace of being one with Jesus Christ in the wilderness, fighting the devil’s temptations.
The gospel said it so well yesterday that after Jesus triumphed over his temptations, “the devil left him and, behold, angels came and ministered to him” (Mt.4:11). See that it was Thursday when I heard Mons. Teng’s final confession, Friday night was the last time he received the viaticum because Saturday morning he could no longer speak, could not eat that I had to consent into the insertion of an NGT for his feeding Saturday night until he slowly deteriorated Sunday morning after I had anointed him again with oil and died around the hour of the great Mercy of God at 3PM.
Photo from Mr. Nicknoc Malaluan.
The same thing is true with Mons. Macario. For about two weeks, I would rush to his apartment mostly at night and midnight to anoint him, pray for him, and give him the viaticum. Once I even celebrated Mass for a peaceful death around midnight when we thought he was about to expire which eventually came a few days after he had met and presumably reconciled with a family member. It was the Second Sunday of Lent, March 16, 2014 when he died. The gospel was the Transfiguration of Jesus. If there is anyone who would truly experience the Cross of Christ on the way to transfiguration, it is surely us, his priests.
A few years ago a friend commented to me that he thought priests were exempted from sickness and other sufferings. He could not believe that we priests get cancer, suffer stroke and other debilitating sickness. In fact, I told him that suffering is our life. One of the priests with tremendous impact on me was our formator in high school seminary, Rev. Fr. Leopoldo Nazareno we called “Fr. Naz” who spent maybe 40 years of his life with Parkinson’s disease that was so rare at that time in the 80’s.
Am I afraid of getting sick, of dying? Yes. Very much! But, what can I do? Like Jesus in the the garden of Gethsemane, even if I pray that God would take away this cup, it is still his will not mine.
Maybe for a good reason, to suffer unto death is the ultimate gift of priesthood. Even in old age for us priests, there is still the essence of victimhood, of offering. It is when out deathbed becomes our eucharistic table and altar where we finally offer ourselves to God in union with Jesus our Eternal High Priest, no longer the bread and wine because we could not celebrate the Mass nor even receive Holy Communion. It would be very sad for a priest to die not a martyr, a witness of Christ on the Cross, loved and forgiven like the “good thief”.
That is what I have seen in these two deaths of priests in the season of Lent: the immense and immeasurable mercy and love of God for us all, especially us priests. Yes, we are sinners, even more miserable than others. But, still loved and forgiven by God. May we strive more to be holy priests, thinking more of the people than ourselves. Pray for us your priests, and help us fix our eyes unto God more clearly through you, the people, the sheep of his flock. May we your priests find that life is a daily Lent, a daily passover, a daily carrying of the Cross and Crucifixion in Christ that leads to Easter. Amen.
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