We are never empty & alone when waiting patiently even in the dark

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
First Sunday in the Season of Advent, Cycle B, 03 December 2023
Isaiah 63:16-17, 19; 64:2-7 ><}}}*> 1 Corinthians 1:3-9 ><}}}*> Mark 13:33-37

*Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, 08 December 2022.*

I was literally waiting the “advent” or coming of my doctors last Thursday as I wrote this homily for this first Sunday of Advent, the new year in our Church calendar. It was a hazy morning with some drizzle when I arrived for my doctors’ appointments.

But, it was a graceful moment too as I rediscovered the virtue of patience by being a patient myself again.

Sick people are called patients precisely because healing requires a lot of patience. Tons of patience in fact, especially if we are incapacitated or too weak to move. And the most difficult part of patience is waiting, from the simple waiting for doctors and nurses, waiting for the end of the day to waiting for our complete healing until we are well again.

*Photo by author, First Sunday of Advent 2021, Basic Education Department, Our Lady of Fatima University, Valenzuela City.*

The difficult part of waiting is that we are so conscious of time which we find to be flowing so slowly, making us irritable even doubtful if ever the one we are awaiting would ever come or materialize at all. That is why patience has become a virtue so rare these days.

Many people reject, even abhor patience in this age of instants when everybody wants to bear fruit but resent how it takes time to ripen. We want to have everything now na! We do not want to wait because we are no longer contented with whatever comes to us so that we advance our salaries and buy things in credit cards. Worst is this notorious practice of advancing public holidays to other dates closest to weekends to have “long weekend” celebrations. Even Christmas is not spared from our impatience! See how malls and local government buildings, homes and radio stations could not wait after the Halloween with all the lighting of Christmas trees and decors everywhere.

Unknown to us, we are robbing ourselves of very essence of the event of Christ’s coming to us when we manipulate time and its natural flow. When we lose patience, we stop waiting, then we miss the essence of life, of persons, of everything because we think waiting is being empty.

That is not true! Waiting is never empty. On the contrary, waiting is actually fullness because the very fact that we wait means we have.

*Photo by author, lanterns for sale in San Fernando, Pampanga, November 2020.*

When we were growing up, we loved waiting for dad’s coming home from work. We were filled with joy the moment we heard jeepneys stopping, hoping it was dad. Even if he would come home later in the evening when it was dark, we always felt so sure and excited of his arrival with pasalubong because he was always in our hearts.

That is the greatest joy of patient waiting – it is fullness of love due to our relationships. People who can’t wait, who are impatient are often loners, even complainers because they always feel empty within without any regard at all for relationships. Most likely, they have no relationships at all!

The first reading reminds us of this great beauty of patient waiting, of already having God himself within us with Isaiah calling God “our father, our redeemer” that both indicate kinship and relationships with him.

You, Lord, are our father, our redeemer you are named forever.
Isaiah 63:16

Very notable is the word “redeemer” that is go’el in the Hebrew language – the family relative who pays off debts or redeems a foreclosed property so that their family or tribe could keep it.

That is exactly what Jesus came for – to redeem us, to ransom us from our debt we could not repay God which is love. By dying on the Cross, Jesus saved us, redeemed us from the clutches of death and evil to be filled with life again. And that is why he is coming again to ultimately vanish all evil and sin to bring us to new heaven and new earth.

Physically we do not see Jesus but realistically, spiritually, we are certain he is with us, within us. Therefore, our waiting for him is never empty but always full of Jesus precisely due to the relationship we have in him and with him.

*Photo by author, Advent 2019 in our former parish.*

Waiting for Jesus is an expression of our faith. And we wait with him, just like the apostles in the agony of the garden. Notice how Mark narrated to us this calls for being watchful by Jesus; unlike Matthew, Mark mentions the time of Christ’s coming – at night.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come… whether in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning. May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: ‘Watch!'”
Mark 13:33, 35-37

This may be a minute detail for us but not for Mark who was the first to write the gospel of Jesus which happens to be the shortest and most concise. Night time in the Bible evokes darkness when evil seems to dominate the time which we continue to think of in the present.

But, we are children of light as St. Paul reminds us in one of his letters. And this Sunday he assures us in the second reading that “God is faithful” who “called us to fellowship” in him through Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 1:9). Let us not be afraid of the dark and long waiting for Jesus because he had conquered it when he walked on water, when he stilled the storm in the sea, when he rose again on Easter. Do not forget too that Jesus was born during the darkest night of the year, a reminder and assurance to us that no matter how dark our lives may be, Jesus is near, Jesus is here. So, have no fear in him, our brother and kin who had saved us!

Watch and be on guard on Christ’s coming and presence in darkness because too often, we are the ones who miss the Lord. Keep in mind that it is at night, it is in darkness when it is best to believe in the light. Here, we again find that waiting even in darkness in never empty because that is when we are so sure there would be great light bursting forth soon as Isaiah had prophesied that was eventually fulfilled in Jesus Christ. Sometimes, we get bored even impatient or sleepy waiting for Jesus like the five wise virgins who brought extra oil waiting for the groom to arrive. The key is to remain in Jesus, only Jesus, always Jesus as we pray like John the Beloved, Maranatha, “Come, Lord Jesus!” Amen.

Jesus and the Archangels

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Feast of Archangels Michael, Gabriel & Raphael, 29 September 2023
Daniel 7:9-10, 13-14 >><}}}}*> + <*{{{{><< John 1:47-51

*Photo by author, St. Scholastica Convent, Baguio City, 23 August 2023.*

Lord Jesus Christ,
thank you for coming
to us, opening the heaven
anew for us after the Father
had it closed when Adam 
and Eve sinned;
thank you, too,
dear Jesus,
for in your coming,
the heaven was opened
for us to see "angels of God
ascending and descending
on the Son of Man" (Jn. 1:51).

Lord Jesus,
you are 
the ultimate message
and ultimate messenger
of the Father;
let us adhere to you,
believe in you
and follow you
to experience 
your archangels:

keep us firm in our faith
in you so we may be strong
like St. Michael whose
name means "who is like God?";

enliven our hope
so we may be open to your coming
even in the many darkness of life 
to welcome St. Gabriel who brought
the good news of your birth
to the Blessed Virgin Mary;

and lastly, grant us
unceasing charity and
love to be your healing 
presence like St. Raphael.

In the sight 
of the angels,
let me sing your praises,
Lord.
Amen.

Lamay, Ramay

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-12 ng Setyembre 2023

*Larawan kuha ni G. Cristian Pasion, Bihilya ng Pasko ng Pagkabuhay 2022, Pambansang*

Noong bata ako buong akala ko ang paglalamay at pakikiramay ay iisa. Alalaong-baga, kapag may lamayan, mayroong namatay at paraan iyon ng pakikiramay. E hindi pala ganun!

Sa aking pagtanda at pagkamulat sa wika, higit sa lahat sa buhay na palaging kaakibat pagkamulat din sa kamatayan, napagtanto ko na bagaman magkaiba ang lamay at ramay, malalim at matalik ang ugnayan ng dalawang kataga.

Ang paglalamay ay pagpupuyat, tulad ng pagsusunog ng kilay o pag-aaral sa gabi. Maari din itong hindi pagtulog sa magdamag upang matapos ang isang proyekto at gawain. Naglalamay din bilang bahagi ng gampanin at tungkulin tulad ng mga nagtatrabaho ng pang-gabi o graveyard shift gaya ng mga pulis, mamamahayag, drayber, mga viajero at mga nasa call center.

Maraming pagkakataon sa paglalamay ikaw ay may kasamang nagpupuyat upang tulungan na tapusin ang gawain o gampanan ang tungkulin. Sa paglalamay, palaging mayroong kasama upang tulungan tayong malampasan ano mang pagsubok na pinagdaraanan. Doon nagsasalapungan ang dalawang kataga ng lamay at ramay: sa gitna ng kadiliman ng gabi, mayroong maasahang kasamang nakikibahagi at nakikiisa sa pagdurusan at hirap na pinagdaraanan.

*Larawan kuha ni G. Jay Javier, Tayabas, Quezon, 13 Agosto 2023.*

Napakaganda ng larawang sinasaad ng lamay at ramay – ang kadiliman ng gabi. Sa bibliya, ang gabi at kadiliman ay sumasagisag sa kapangyarihan ng kasamaan.

Ipinanganak si Jesus sa pinakamadilim na gabi ng buong taon, mula Disyembre 23 hanggang 25. Malinaw na pagpapahayag ito ng pakikiramay ng Diyos sa kadiliman ng ating buhay. Doon siya palaging dumarating kung tutuusin.

Huwag nating pag-alinlanganan katotohanang ito na muli nating natunghayan noong Huling Hapunan ng Panginoon na naganap sa pagtatakip-silim ng Huwebes Santo. Kinagabihan si Jesus ay nanalangin sa halamanan ng Getsemani ngunit tinulugan ng tatlong malalapit na mga alagad. Huli na ang lahat nang sila ay magising nang dumating si Judas Iskariote, isa sa kanilang mga kasamahan na nagkanulo kay Jesus sa kadiliman ng gabi.

Anong saklap na walang karamay si Jesus sa paglalamay na iyon na nagpatuloy sa kanyang paglilitis sa Sanhedrin kung saan naman tatlong ulit siyang tinatwa ni Simon Pedro habang nasa labas ng tahahan ng punong pari. Kaya nga kung sakali man tayo ay nasa napakadilim na yugto ng buhay at tila nag-iisa, alalahaning si Jesus ay ating kapiling, nakikiramay sa atin dahil siya ang naunang nakaranas na maglamay ng walang karamay! Kanya itong binago at tiniyak na hindi na mauulit kanino man upang siya ay makaramay sa bawat lamay ng ating buhay nang siya ay muling mabuhay, nagtagumpay sa kamatayan at kasamaan sa gitna rin ng kadiliman ng gabi.

*larawan kuha ni G. Cristian Pasion, Bihilya ng Pasko ng Pagkabuhay 2021.*

Kamakailan ay dumadalas aking pagmimisa sa mga lamayan ng mga yumaong mga kamag-anak at kaibigan. Noon pa man lagi nang nasasambit ng mga kaibigan bakit nga ba hindi tayo magkita-kita habang buhay pa kesa naman doon na lamang palagi nabubuo pamilya at barkada sa lamayan ng namamatay?

Tama rin naman kanilang bukambibig sa mga lamayan. Ano pa ang saysay ng pagsasama-sama gayong nawala na at pumanaw ang mahal sa buhay?

Ngunit kamakailan ay napagnilayan ko rin na tama lamang na magkita-kita tayo sa mga lamayan upang ipahayag ating pakikiramay dahil naroon tayo hindi lamang upang makidalamhati kungdi magpuri at magpasalamat din sa isang yumao. Wika nga ng marami, lamay lamang ang hindi ipinangungumbida kasi doon masusukat tunay na kabutihan ng isang tao sa kanyang pagpanaw: kung marami ang naglamay at nakiramay, ibig sabihin, mabuti siyang tao, mapakisama, laging karamay noong nabubuhay pa.

Napagtanto ko ito sa nakakatawang pagkakataon; kundangan kasi, bilang mula sa mga sinaunang panahon, para sa akin ang pakikiramay ay dapat seryoso. Malungkot nga dapat at nakikidalamhati. Hirap na hirap ako noong matanggap ang picture taking sa lamayan! Iskandalo kung baga sa akin ang magpose at picture-taking sa lamayan, lalo na sa tabi ng labi ng yumao. Paano ka namang ngingiti e mayroong ngang patay at namatayan?

Nakatutuwang isipin kung paanong itinuro sa akin ng teknolohiya ang malalim na kahulugan ng pakikiramay sa paglalamay. Na ito ay higit sa lahat pagdiriwang ng buhay, pagpupugay at pasasalamat sa magandang samahan na ating tinitiyak na magpapatuloy pumanaw man ating kaibigan at kamag-anakan. Ang ating pakikiramay ay hindi lamang pagpadarama ng pakikiisa sa dalamhati kungdi pagtiyak ng pagkakaisang ito sa pagmamahal, pasasalamat at pag-alala tuwina sa isang pumanaw at kanilang mga naulila.

Mainam pa rin makadaupang-palad mga kamag-anak at kaibigan habang nabubuhay ngunit hindi pa rin huli ang lahat na sakali man dala ng maraming kadahilanan tayo ay makiramay tuwing mayroon lamay dahil ang totoo’y buhay pa rin ating ipinagdiriwang. Ito ang dahilan kaya ating tawag sa pumapanaw ay hindi namatay kungdi sumakabilang buhay. Balang araw siya ring ating hantungang lahat kung saan ang lamay at ramay ay iisang katotohanan na lamang na kung tawagi’y, pag-ibig.

The dark side of our complaints

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Memorial of St. Dominic, Priest, 08 August 2023
Numbers 12:1-13 ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*> Matthew 14:22-36

*Photo by author, San Juan, La Union, 24 July 2023.*

Thank you very much,
God our loving Father,
for continuing to comfort
us, especially those maligned
by many with their complaints
and grumblings; but, 
at the same time, 
grant us the grace too
to be firm and strong that
the darkest side of 
complaints and grumblings
always come from people
closest and nearest to us
like Miriam and Aaron,
the siblings of Moses.

Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses on the pretext of the marriage he had contracted with a Cushite woman. They complained, “Is it through Moses alone that the Lord speaks? Does he not speak through us also?” The Lord heard this. Now, Moses himself was by far the meekest man on the face of the earth. So at once the Lord said to Moses and Aaron and Miriam, “Come out, you three, to the meeting tent.” Then the Lord came down in the column of cloud… so angry was the Lord against them that when he departed, and the cloud withdrew from the tent, there was Miriam, a snow-white leper!
Numbers 12:1-5, 9

O Lord,
we mean no harm 
to those closest to us 
who complain against us,
grumbling against us at our back;
let us be assured always that 
you know this very well
especially when we strive
to do your will and people
become jealous of us.

For our detractors,
the complainers and grumblers
especially when we are not around,
grant them the courage to be like
Simon Peter to open up with you,
Lord, to come close to you
even in the midst of a storm;
let them feel and experience
the turbulence within,
the pains and hurts
of doing your work.

Like St. Dominic,
let us be your torch-bearer
in bringing light not only
to the dark corners of the world
but to the darkness enveloping
us within like our jealousies
and insecurities, 
especially of those closest to us.
Amen.

St. Dominic de Guzman,
Pray for us!

The riches of Christ

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Homily, Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, 16 June 2023
Deuteronomy 7:6-11 ><}}}*> 1 John 4:7-16 ><}}}*> Matthew 11:25-30

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.*

It has been two months since I celebrated by silver anniversary of ordination to the priesthood. Until now, I still continue to reflect and relish on this immense gift of priesthood, still asking with the same sense of awe and wonder since ordination day, “why me, Lord?”

As I reflected this week the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus which is dedicated for the sanctification of us priests, I have realized how I have remained the same sinful, insecure and fearful man ordained 25 years ago with my six other classmates. As I get closer to becoming a senior citizen in 2025, the more my past sins and stupidities, carelessness and vices are coming back like “Facebook Memory”, reminding me how I have them kept under control, that they could burst and be out in the open if I get careless.

But in the midst of all these darkness and weaknesses still in me, the more I feel so blessed and consoled, and overjoyed by the fact that I still have that same desire to proclaim Jesus Christ to everyone, of how beautiful this life is because of the Lord’s immeasurable love for each of us. Whenever I look back to my past with all my sinfulness and weaknesses amid my getting older, the more I am eager to make Jesus known to everyone while I am still strong and able. There is that feeling of being like St. Paul in saying, “To me, the very least of all the holy ones, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the inscrutable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for all what is the plan of the mystery hidden from ages past in God who created all things” (Eph. 3:8-9).

Or, like in our first reading, I could identify with the Israelites being reminded by Moses in the wilderness that “You are a people sacred to the Lord, your God; he has chosen you from all the nations on the face of the earth to be his people peculiarly his own. It was not because you are the largest of all nations that the Lord set his heart on you and chose you, for you are really the smallest of all nations. It was because the Lord loved you” (Dt.7:6-8).

Beautiful!

Love, love, and love!

That is the “inscrutable riches of Christ”, his immense love for us, dying for us, coming for us even if we are worth nothing at all. And it is because of that love of God for us that we have become so worthy that he gave us even his only Son, Jesus Christ.

That is the essence of this celebration of the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Love.

A reality we all experience and know but could not define for it has no limits. Love can only be described and best expressed in actions than in words.

See this Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus comes right after the Solemnities of the Most Holy Trinity and of the Most Precious Body and Blood of Jesus these past two Sundays. Both celebrations speak of love: the latter is about relationships based on love and the former is about giving of self in love.

Now that we are well into the Ordinary Time of our liturgical calendar, our celebration today tells us to remember throughout this year this most basic truth and reality of our faith – that we are so loved by God.

Beloved, let us love one another because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.
1 John 4:7-9

Love is symbolized by the heart, the very core of every person. That is why I love the Spanish word for heart which is corazon, evocative of the core, of the deeper self. And of course, love is the very the person of God.

Of all the writers in the Bible, St. John is the one who most frequently used the word “love”, an indication of its centrality in his thoughts. Moreover, he clarified that this love is not human love because its origin, motives and effects are supernatural in nature who is God himself.

Being the very self and also the riches or wealth of Christ, love is for sharing, for giving. Never for keeping. Because of its supernatural nature, love is inexhaustible. The more you give it, the more you share, the more you have it!

In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also must love one another. No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.
1 John 4:10-12

*Photo by Ms. April Oliveros, March 2023 at Mt. Pulag.*

Let me repeat that last sentence, “if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.”

The more we love, the more we are able to see and recognize God and other people amidst the darkness around us. Likewise, the more we love the more we see our true selves too despite dark spots within us.

Love is the law of life. To love God by loving ourselves and others is not an obligation imposed from outside. It is the very proof of our faith and union with God in Jesus Christ.

Jesus makes this very clear to us today in the gospel that opens with him praising the simple people, those who were child-like who welcomed him and his preaching. They were the ones Jesus referred at his sermon on the mount, “Blessed are the poor” because love is not an intellectual structure or system to be learned or analyzed. Love is a call to be disarmed of everything we hold onto so we can totally love and follow Jesus Christ.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus came to reveal to us God our Father. And to know the Father is not through the head or intelligence but through our heart that is like Christ’s, meek and humble, filled with love.

By becoming human like us in everything except sin, Jesus who is the image of the invisible God (Col. 1:15) enables us to feel and experience God now closest to us than ever. Most of all, we are able to love and still love especially when the going gets tough and rough.

Here Jesus shows us that love is not absence of sufferings. In fact, love is truest and noblest when there are sacrifices and sufferings as exemplified by Jesus in his life and death on the Cross.

There are times we feel grouchy, so sensitive when people seem to ask even demand so much from us.

Sometimes we wonder why are we the ones always giving, always loving, always forgiving. Sometimes we even ask God why are we the ones going through all these trials in life, why are we the ones afflicted with this sickness, why are we given with a special child, why your child had gone ahead of you to eternal life?

So many whys, so many questions.

Rest today in Christ. Feel his embrace. Listen to his silence. Be filled with his love. As you ask Jesus with all those questions, realize that each cry, each lamentation is the “inscrutable riches of Christ”, his very love perfected in your labors and burdens. Amen.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Make my heart like thine!

It is always the Lord!

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 02 May 2023
Reflections on the occasion of my 25th year in the Priesthood

With our Bishop, Most Rev. Dennis C. Villarojo, DD after our anniversary and his birthday Mass in his private chapel; from left Fr. Romy Sasi, Fr. Arnel Camacho, Fr. Leonard Hernandez, the Bishop, Fr. Ed Rodriguez, and me. Not in photo was Fr. Joshua Panganiban who was sick and another classmate who had left the ministry more than five years ago. Photo by Fr. Leonard.

I first entered the seminary as a second year high school in 1979. When we were about to graduate in 1982, I was told to leave the seminary after failing admission to San Carlos Seminary due to the unfavorable results of my psychological exam. It was a very painful experience for me. It is only now on my 25th year of priesthood that I am coming to terms with that dark episode in my life. In fact, it is only now that I can admit it unashamed.

Making it doubly hard for me was when San Carlos Seminary Prefect of Discipline Msgr. Sunga refused to tell me the findings in my psychological exam except I would find it out as I moved on in life. And I think, I have found the reason. “It is the Lord!”

My classmates from UST AB Journalism class of 1986, from left, Lito Zulueta, Dante Santiago, Ellen Jurado-Cobarrubias, front Marie Ann, Luz Lopez Urquiola, Bel De Leon, beside me, Pia Pajarillo-Bantolo, Vilma Capellan, Rose Munoz-Landicho and Ross.

From that experience, I have realized that Christ comes to us even in the darkest moments of our lives. It is often when we have nothing, when we are empty that we are abundant in Christ. It is a mystery that continues to unfold until now! Difficult to explain fully. What was a setback and a dark spot for me before, that failure in my psychological exam has become more of a blessing later to me.

From the seminary, I went to the University of Sto. Tomas to pursue my first love, journalism. Everything happened so fast from UST where I had the chance to join the staff of the Varsitarian, covering the sports beat.

For my internship program, I trained at GMA-7 News to explore broadcast news. Immediately, I was amazed with the speed and timeliness of broadcast news with the constant clacking and ringing or sometimes whining of the UPI and PNA telex machines either from breaking news or when they ran out of newsprint reels. Luckily after graduation in 1986, I was hired by Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma as radio news writer for DZBB-AM and DWLS-FM.

With my co-staffers at the Varsitarian of UST, from left, Alane Ty, Jenny Bartolome, Sr. Gina Kuizon, Mother superior of RGS who was the assistant of Ms. Jesselyn G. Dela Cruz our Asst. Publications Director, Lito Zulueta of Inquirer, at the back are Romy the husband of Mam Jess and Jun Carnecer.

From a news writer in 1986, I became a reporter in 1988 covering the police beat on the night shift until 1990 when Ms. Jessica Soho recommended me to replace her in the the military/defense she used to cover after she was promoted to having a regular morning show, “Kape at Balita”.

I refused the position because I was so afraid of failing to measure up to Jessica’s stature but most of all, I felt not qualified of not having the voice for broadcast news. Yes, I have never wanted to be an “on-cam” reporter because I do not have the broadcast voice. Got no problem with that. That is why my application at GMA-7 was for a news writer. Again, it was the Lord I moved to become a police reporter at that time.

It is funny how I have always refused tasks that put me at the forefront since my GMA-7 days as a result of that “psych exam” in high school. Since college, I have found myself working best behind the scenes and behind the camera, working in hiddenness.

And yes, most of all, for lack of self-confidence. That is why I could not also believe when I felt God calling me to the priesthood again! And when I have become a priest, I have always wanted to be sent into the far-flung areas unnoticed but God would always bring me to major assignments like first, our diocesan school beside the Malolos Cathedral and now as chaplain of Our Lady of Fatima University with six campuses and two Medical Centers!

*Me in our old newsroom filing my report after the graveyard shift 1989; photo by Mr. Jack Taylaran.*

Going back to my vocation story… Every time I moved up in GMA-7 News, I would feel a reawakening or a resurging of my vocation. In the midst of the perks of the job plus the “celebrity” status, that was when I felt empty and unfulfilled! Something was missing in my life at the beginning I could not figure out. Tried to find fulfillment in everything including relationships but, I still felt empty. In fact, my vocation to the priesthood “pestered” me most when I was into relationships, feeling so praning with a voice within asking me “paano pagpapari mo?” As a result, I tried going back to prayers, then to Sunday Masses that slowly gave me some sense of fulfillment and peace within.

But after covering the December coup attempt of 1989 I felt something so strange deep within me: the more I felt empty within. Despite the adrenalin rush of covering the bloodiest coup attempt in our history, the thoughts of the priesthood would always cross my mind even without my thinking. It happened again the following year during coverage of the July 1990 earthquake. I was not feeling contented with my life. All I felt was a deeper longing for God and spiritual things like serving the people not just as a reporter. I felt God calling me to something more than covering the news but proclaiming the good news of Christ.

On my first day off after the July 1990 earthquake, I went to see my former minor seminary rector, Fr. Memeng Salonga for spiritual direction. He told me what I was feeling could be a vocation to the priesthood. My plan at that time was to wait for about five years before deciding for the priesthood. What if I were wrong again like what happened when I applied to San Carlos Seminary? Most of all, I had no more plans of becoming a priest. And I thought of running away from God like the Prophet Jonah, without realizing I ended up exactly like him!

It happened in January 1991 when it was my turn to join then Armed Forces chief Gen. Lisandro Abadia in his inspection of troops in northern Luzon. On our last stop at Laoag airport, one of the tires of our plane exploded upon landing!

It happened at the right side of the plane where I was seated near the window. Instinctively on seeing and hearing the explosion, I ducked my head down and braced myself for impact while deep inside me, I was frantically praying in silence to God, telling him, “magpapari na po ako, magpapari na po ako!”

That is why Jonah is my favorite character in the Old Testament as I felt like him inside the belly of PAF’s Fokker plane in 1991 trying to escape God’s call to the priesthood.

*My GMA-7 colleagues, from left, JJ Jimeno, Jimmy Gil, Boy Sonza, Jun Fronda, Atty. Dan de Padua, Kelly B. Vergel de Dios, Marissa Flores, Jessica Soho, and Ben Cab of PNA.*

When we got back to Manila late that afternoon, everybody was congratulating me, saying I could be the next Jessica Soho as I figured out in a near-fatal accident with the Chief-of-Staff. Behind my smiles was a firm resolve inside to finally follow Jesus. Weeks after Mt. Pinatubo spewed smokes in March, I gave my letter of resignation to Ms. Palma and simply told her, I was going back to the seminary to give my vocation a second chance. Mt. Pinatubo would finally erupt on June 12, 1991 when I was already inside the seminary.

*My first year in the seminary, 1991, after resigning from GMA-7 News.*

Life was not easy in the seminary. Temptations to leave the seminary and go back to work were most tempting during my first three years as I knew already where to go, what to do in life. Maybe about three times I have tried leaving the seminary while I was constantly warned of being sent out too!

The Portuguese have a saying that “God writes straight crooked lines.” True. Nine years after leaving the seminary in high school, I went back to the seminary in 1991 eventually being ordained in 1998. Now 25 years as a priest, I thank God for this most precious gift of priesthood. It is very difficult but most fulfilling.

As a priest and an individual, I have realized that if there are 8-billion people in the world, there are also 8-billion kinds of love God has specifically for each one of us. God loves us in the most personal manner. It is the greatest mystery in life we would never be able to solve because it is insolvable. We just have to live on it, be wrapped in his mystery that once in a while, like the beloved disciple amid the darkness of dawn, we would have glimpses of him, making us shout “It is the Lord!” Thank my dear friends for showing me always the Lord. Hope and pray you too have seen the Lord in me! God bless!

Ang “isa pang Maria”

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-13 ng Abril 2023

*Larawan ng painting ni American painter Henry Osawa Tanner, “The Three Marys” (1910) mula sa biblicalarchaeology.org.*

Magkakatulad 
ang mga ebanghelista 
sa paglalahad 
ng mga kababaihang naiwan,
sinamahan si Jesus sa Krus
hanggang sa kanyang kamatayan;
tatlo sa kanila ating nakikilala
na sina Maria na Ina ni Jesus,
Maria Magdalena at 
Maria asawa ni Clopas.

Subalit, sino 
iyong "isa pang Maria"
na binabanggit sa ebanghelyo
ni San Mateo na kasama
ni Maria Magdalena
"nakaupo sa tapat ng
libingan" ni Jesus (Mateo 27:61)
na hindi naman niya kinilala
nakatayo rin sa paanan
ng Krus?

Kataka-taka sino nga ba
itong kasama ni Maria Magdalena
"Makaraan ang Araw ng Pamamahinga,
pagbubukang-liwayway 
ng unang araw ng sanlinggo, 
pumunta sa libingan ni Jesus 
si Maria Magdalena
at isa pang Maria" (Mateo 28:1)
na unang pinagpakitaan
ng Panginoong muling nabuhay?

Hindi na natin malalaman
tunay niyang pangalan
maliban sa "isa pang Maria"
na hindi kasing tanyag
 ni Magdalena,
 ni walang nakakakilala
ni pumapansin
bagama't matitiyak natin
hindi siya mahuhuli
 pagbibigay ng kanyang sarili
bilang tapat na alagad
ng ating Panginoon din!

Bawat isa sa atin
katulad ni Maria Magdalena,
dapat ipagpasalamat
 kasama at kaibigan
maituturing din na
  "isa pang Maria" - 
tahimik at walang kibo
subalit buo ang loob
tayong sinasamahan
saanmang kadiliman
basta patungo kay Kristo
na kapwa nating sinusundan!

*Larawan ng painting ni French painter James Tissot ng “The Two Marys Watch the Tomb” (1894) mula sa paintingmania.com.*

The joy of Easter: Jesus comes in our weeping

*Photo by author, morning sun at Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.*

One with the Psalmist today, 
O dear Jesus Christ, 
I also proclaim that indeed
"The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord"
(Psalm 33:5)
because even in our sadness,
right in our weeping and in
our crying, 
that is where and when you come!

Jesus said to Magdalene, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to him, “Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.
John 20:15-16

Like Magdalene,
there are times we are overtaken
by our grief and sadness over our
many disappointments and failures,
losses and defeats like deaths 
that we could not see 
your loving presence,
your consoling comfort
O Lord Jesus Christ.

Like the listeners of Peter on that
day of Pentecost, "cut us to the heart"
(Acts 2:37), lay bare before us this
glaring truth of your Resurrection, Jesus,
of your victory over death and darkness,
over sin and sickness
that we may be more open to accept and
embrace your loving presence
with us and in us during the most
trying times of life like death of a loved one
or a sudden shift in our lives.
Amen.

*Photo by author, Jesuit Cemetery, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.*

Life’s many crossovers

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Fourth Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 30 January 2023
Hebrews 11:32-40 ><0000'> + ><0000'> + ><0000'> Mark 5:1-20

*Photo by author, sunrise at Bgy. Igulot, Bocaue, Bulacan, 29 January 2023*.

Thank you dear Jesus
for this Monday;
another "crossing over"
from Sunday rest yesterday
to working days beginning
today.

Today's gospel speaks
so beautifully of life's many
crossovers with you leading us,
joining us, coming to us to heal us,
to cleanse us, to forgive us:

Jesus and his disciples came to the other side of the sea, to the territory of the Gerasenes. When he got out of the boat, at once a man from the tombs who had an unclean spirit met him. The man had been dwelling among the tombs, and no one could restrain him any longer, even with a chain.
Mark 5:1-3

Many times, O Lord,
we have been bound by chains
of sins and shackles of vices
we have found comfort with;
like that man, some of us have
been living in tombs among
the dead and zombies;
but worst, dear Jesus,
were the people who drove you
away after you have cleansed
that man of his evil spirits,
giving more importance to the herd of
swine that perished than to the one
possessed person freed from evil.

Lord Jesus,
life is a series of crossing overs
from darkness to light,
from ignorance to wisdom,
from slavery to freedom,
from sin to grace;
let us not be afraid to cross
over to the other side to follow you,
to cross with you in faith;
let us lead others into crossing
over through the nights of life into
the day filled with your grace and
challenges; most of all, let us cross 
over life with firm faith in you,
persevering even if we do not receive
"what had been promised" because
"God had foreseen 
something better for us" (Heb.11:39-40).
Amen.

The good hands of God, our gift of sight: a prayer for ophthalmologists and their patients

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 28 July 2022

Dear friends: Since Monday I have felt in my prayers God leading me to reflect on his “gracious hands” taking care of us, handling us with care like St. James the Greater in Monday and the prophet Jeremiah beautifully expressing today God with a potter’s hand molding us into great “earthen vessels” of his majesty and mystery according to St. Paul (https://lordmychef.com/2022/07/28/we-are-in-gods-good-hands-always/).

Early today I went to visit a patient with “high myopia” who underwent a surgery for a “clear lens extraction” of her right eye. From what I have gathered, she never finished school and could not find a job because she could not read nor even walk straight as she would hit objects and people despite her glasses of 1000 grade!

After celebrating Mass this morning, I rushed to the Fatima University Medical Center in Valenzuela to visit her after her operation. Though I totally do not know her as she was only referred to me, I immediately felt her deep joy within as she told her doctor how she could see everything so clearly right after surgery! You could sense her ecstasy within as she described the immense light she could finally see with her right eye. She was with her younger sister and I felt both young ladies controlling their joys from bursting to avoid making a scene outside the OR.

And so, to complete their joys, I led a simple prayer session right there outside the OR and this is what the Lord put on my lips:

Praise and glory to you,
God our loving Father for the
gift of life, for the gift of sight!

Lord Jesus Christ, you have 
healed so many blind people
recorded in the gospels like
Bartimaeus; we pray for Eden 
and others with eye problems;
restore their sight not only to see 
the beauty of the world but most
especially to see your kindness and
majesty among people!

Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ
for the gift of doctors,
of ophthalmologists whose 
hands you use to touch and 
heal the blind and those 
with ailments in their eyes;
bless them always,
keep them safe and their
loved ones as you
fulfill their dreams.
Amen.

*Healing of Batimaeus, from Pinterest.com.*

I have said in my previous blogs these past three weeks how I have noticed many among us going through a lot of storms in life these days, of getting sick and diagnosed especially with the big “C” with some in advanced stages; others having family problems; and most especially, coping with death in the family.

Amid all their cries of pains and hurts, feelings of rejection and being left out, even forgotten by God, I remember the French poet Charles Peguy who said that hope is God’s most favorite virtue because it “surprises him.”

*Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte, Atok, Benguet, September 2019.*

Hope indeed is very surprising not only to God but even to us.

To hope is like remaining seated at the movies after the show, still waiting for a loud roar or a teaser for the sequel. Even if you know it is the end of the show, the end of the line, you still believe and hope something beautiful would come because you are so sure that the one we hope in – God – is Life itself. Life just goes on and eventually, if not here, in the afterlife, there we shall have the fullness of life.

For the moment, let us be still and be calm, remaining in God, like a clay in the potter’s hand as he molds us into someone better.

It is said that sometimes, the hands of God would pat us on our shoulders or caress our backs but, sometimes would “beat” us too that cause many pains.

Just remember, whether we are caressed or beaten in life, these are all from the gracious hands of God that make us see later the beauty of all those darkness and sufferings we go through. Amen.

Have a blessed day filled with hopes in God!