Christmas: first be a receiver to be a giver

The Lord Is My Chef Christmas Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Our Christmas Homily, 25 December 2024
Isaiah 52:7-10 ><}}}}*> Hebrews 1:1-6 ><}}}}*> John 1:1-18
From LDS_Believer on X, 23 December 2016.

A blessed merry Christmas to you and your loved ones! On this most joyous season of the year that is also the most commercialized, let us reflect about gift-giving.

During Christmas, I hear a lot of people complaining of finding it difficult in giving gifts, in finding the most suitable gift to give to their family and friends. It is the other way around for me as I find it more difficult in receiving gifts than giving.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no claims to whatsoever except that I have always preferred to be a giver than a receiver. In fact, it is my favorite “love language”. Maybe it is part of my upbringing being the eldest in the family. My father taught me the value of hard work to be independent, never to rely on others unless necessary while my mother instilled in me the importance of sacrifice and contentment as she would say, “magtiis kung ano lang mayroon at hindi lahat ng kaya ay bibilhin.”

Friends know me so well of not opening gifts immediately that so often, food given to me end up expired. That is why I always ask people if their gift is food that needs to be consumed immediately like cakes, chocolates and ice cream!

Recently I gifted a religious priest with vestments for his silver anniversary of ordination three weeks ago. Just before the Simbang Gabi started as I shopped for my Christmas vestment, I messaged him for his chasuble size (the vestment we put on top of our alb). It turned out he goes too to the same shop and told me how he had always loved one of those Roman albs made there, a surplice alb with black lining. Since he had celebrated his silver anniversary as priest, I bought one of the alb too with the chasuble delivered to him via courier that day. That afternoon, Father almost shouted in joy in his messages, thanking me for the gifts of a chasuble and a Roman alb, asking, “akala ko yung alb lang bakit may chasuble pa, Father?” I simply told him “because you are a good priest; just pray for me and don’t mention it in your posts.”

During the Simbang Gabi last week while checking on my Facebook, I saw his posts wearing my gifts in his Misa de Gallo. It looked so good on him, the nice off-white chasuble with a V-shaped design on the chest with a classic cross underneath it the surplice alb with black lining he liked. He looked so holy. And I felt so good at myself having made a brother priest so happy.

At that moment, I felt the deep sense of joy of Christmas whatever it meant, as if Jesus were touching me, speaking to me in His most genteel voice an important lesson about gifts.

Through that priest, Jesus answered my prayer at the start of the Simbang Gabi, “how can I truly share you, Lord, this Christmas?”

Through that priest, I felt Jesus speaking into my heart that for me to be able to truly share Him this Christmas, I must first receive Him. We can only be a true giver when we are a sincere and humble receiver first.

I must confess that aside from my upbringing, it is largely pride that is the reason I prefer giving than receiving. As a giver, there is that sense of pride, of having the upper-hand with power and control especially when some gifts I have received are not of my size or I already have like books. It is easier to give especially when we have so much of things without really feeling deep inside the love and freedom why we give. Very often we give to show we don’t need others because we have.

Being a receiver requires humility in the first place, that we are incomplete and dependent on others. When we are able to receive, our giving becomes meaningful because when we receive gifts, we first receive the giver, the gift of every person we must always warmly receive with joy. As I relished my joy in seeing that priest appreciating my gifts – and me – I felt God patting my shoulder, as if telling me, that is how He feels when we receive and appreciate His Christmas gift, the child Jesus on the manger, asking us to receive Him, to love Him, to take care of Him.

He came to what was his own, but his own people did not accept him (John 1:11).

Photo by author, Christmas 2022.

This Christmas, let us first realize that we are first of all receivers of God’s gift in Jesus Christ. Let us receive Him so we can share and give Him as we pray:

A most blessed happy birthday to You,
Lord Jesus Christ!
You are our most precious,
the most important gift
we have received from the Father.

Forgive me
when I refuse to receive and accept You
among the people who love and care for me,
for the people you send me to love and care too.

Forgive me
when I refuse to receive and accept You
among those who have hurt and offended me
that until now I have not truly forgiven,
having grudges against them.

Forgive me
when I refuse to receive and accept You
in my own giftedness, always doubting my goodness,
my talents that I cannot be bold enough
in sharing You because I might fail,
I might err, I might not measure up to others' standards.

Grant me the grace this Christmas,
Lord Jesus, to be small and fragile like You
as an infant, so vulnerable, trustingly accepting
even the unfavorable situations where I am
so that I can share and give You truly
to those who are willing to welcome You like me.
Amen.
The Adoration of the Shepherds”, a painting of the Nativity scene by Italian artist Giorgione before his death at a very young age of 30 in 1510. From wikipediacommons.org.

And the greatest is love…

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday in the Twenty-fourth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 18 September 2024
1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13 <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> Luke 7:31-35
Photo by author, 20 August 2024.
What a lovely Wednesday
today, O God our merciful Father!
Thank you for this wonderful moment,
thank you for your presence,
thank you for the gift of life.
Thank you for the love.
St. Paul tells us today
that love is the greatest
of all your gifts,
O God
because no amount of
goodness and giftedness
will ever be worthy
without love.
And what is love?

Love is.
That is,
being present always.
Never absent.

Love happens in the present moment,
never in the past nor the future.

That is why
love is patient,
love is kind,
love is not jealous,
love is not pompous,
love is not inflated,
love is not rude,
love is not self-interested,
love is not quick-tempered,
love does not brood over injury,
love does not rejoice over wrongdoing,
love rejoices with the truth,
love bears all things,
love believes all things,
love hopes all things,
love endures all things
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
because precisely,
love is always in present tense.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Jesus said to the crowds: “Then to what shall I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? They are the children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another, ‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance. We sang a dirge, but you did not weep'” (Luke 7:31-32).

Forgive us, dear Jesus
for being loveless,
always missing
every moment to love,
missing every chance
to be kind to others,
for desiring and having
always the best intentions
but never having
even the the smallest
kind deeds for anyone;
let us live in every present moment,
that thin line between
here and now
called present
which is the other word
for gift.

Let us live,
O Lord,
in love,
finding and cherishing
the gift of every presence
right here,
right now.
By being
a gift too
to others
in You.
Amen.
Photo by Skyler Ewing on Pexels.com

Love sincerely

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Thirty-first Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 07 November 2023
Romans 12:5-16   ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'>   Luke 14:15-24
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.
God our merciful Father:
let us love sincerely
like your Son Jesus Christ
as St. Paul beautifully tells us
in today's first reading:

Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor. Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, and serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, and persevere in prayer.

Romans 12:9-12
Our loving Father,
let us love sincerely by loving in Jesus,
with Jesus and through Jesus,
not according to one's self nor 
with what the world knows that is
superficial, emotional, and temporary;
let us love sincerely without
pretensions but solely because
we find you in one another;
make us love sincerely
without thinking of our own
good and benefit but more of
the needs of others, especially
the poor and the needy;
let us love sincerely by making you
visible to others, making them
experience your love by bringing out
the giftedness of everyone around us, 
making them realize they are blessed, 
they are good in themselves,
that we need them in as much as we need
one another to grow and mature as persons;
let us love sincerely by avoiding instances
for hatred and envy and jealousy
to take shape within us and in our
relationships;
let us love sincerely by holding on
to what is good and true, 
never to what is false and evil
even if they may seem to be convenient
especially when one is untrue, unfaithful;
let us love sincerely by serving others
without expecting anything in return;
let us love sincerely by remaining
enthusiastic in life despite the sufferings
we go through, rejoicing in hope in you,
enduring afflictions and trials as we
handle life in prayer, together.
O Father, like Jesus Christ,
may we love sincerely by always
finding our place in your banquet table
(Luke 14:15-24)
among our brothers and sisters as
our equal, saying yes to your
every call to serve
in every here and now.
Amen.
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, 06 November 2023.

Being grateful

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time, Year I, 18 August 2023
Joshua 24:1-13   ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'>   Matthew 19:3-12
Photo by author, Mt. St. Paul, La Trinidad, Benguet, 2017.
Loving Father,
teach me to be grateful
not only for everything I have
but also for everything those
who have come ahead of me
have had.

Many times,
I thank you only for
what I have without seeing
these are just a continuation of
your previous blessings - like
the gift of a country and nation,
the gift of a family, of a religion,
of a school, of everything I 
hold and value like freedom,
of everything I now so enjoy 
that were merely passed on
to us like what Joshua reminded
your people upon settling in the 
Promised Land.

Joshua addressed all the people: “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: I gave you a land which you had not tilled and cities which you had not built, to dwell in; you have eaten of vineyards and olive groves which you did not plant.”

Joshua 2,13
Forgive us, dear God
not just for being ungrateful
for your blessings but for even
altering their very nature
to suit our own desires
and selfish motives like 
sex and marriage:
"Some Pharisees approached Jesus,
and tested him, saying, 'Is it lawful
for a man to divorce his wife 
for any cause?'" (Matthew 19:3).
Forgive us, dear Father,
for the hardness of our hearts,
in turning away from your intentions,
in going against your own will 
for the gifts you have given
and change them to the ways
and dictates of the world.
Amen.

Sino ang “special”?

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-30 ng Mayo 2023
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, exhibit ng Sto. Nino sa Malolos Cathedral, Enero 2022.

Kailan ko lamang napag-ukulan ng pansin – at pagninilay – itong isang bagay ukol sa mga tinagurian nating “special child”, yaong mga isinilang na mayroong iba’t-ibang kapansanan sa pangangatawan, pag-iisip at pandamdam (emotional).

Mabuti nga sa panahong ito ay “special” na ang tawag sa kanila kesa noong dating panahon namin na wala pang mga “sped” o special education. At least, hindi pa laganap lalo sa mga lalawigan. Noon basta hindi normal ika nga ang isang tao lalo na mga bata na ipinanganak na mayroong kapansanan na tinatawag na Down Syndrome, “mongoloid” ang tawag. Kaya naman ako noon sa mura kong isipan at katangahan, hindi ko mawari bakit siya kumain ng lapis o pencil na noo’y Mongol ang tatak?! Sorry po pero yun talaga naisip ko noong elementary ako lalo na nang biniro ng guro namin isang kaklase na palaging kagat-kagat ang lapis niya na magiging mongoloid siya sa ginagawa niya! Siyempre, ako man noo’y palaging kinakagat ang lapis at marahil kaya ako kung minsan ay parang special din.

Pero wala pong biro at mabalik tayo sa ating paksa, pansin ko lang sa pamilya ng mga kapatid nating mayroong mga naturang kapansanan na madalas at mabilis nila kaagad sinasabi na ang kanilang anak o kapatid ay “special”. Minsan mararamdaman mo rin kanilang lungkot marahil hindi sa ano pa man kungdi ang pag-aalala paano magiging buhay ng kanilang special child lalo na sa pagtanda nila.

Noong ako ay batang pari pa sa isang barrio na aking minimisahan ay mayroong special child na palaging nagsisimba. Masayang-masaya ang batang iyon sa pagsisimba at halos sumigaw sa pagsagot at pag-awit sa Misa. Napansin ko tumatahimik siya at masugid niyang tinitingnan ang lahat ng nangungumunyon.

Kinausap ko ang bata na siguro ay labing-limang taong gulang na noon. “Ibig mo ba na magkomunyon? Alam mo ba ko kung ano yun tinatanggap?” Sabi niya sa akin ay si Jesus daw iyong nasa Banal na Ostiya. Kaya kinausap ko kanyang magulang na di makapaniwalang pwede iyon. Inihanda ko ang special child at makaraan ang ilang linggo, siya ay binigyan namin ng “first communion”. Tuwang-tuwa ang bata at kanyang mga magulang. Hanggang ngayon siya ay masayang nagsisimba sa kanilang bisita.

Dati naman sa pinanggalingan kong parokya ay ipinahanap ko sa mga katekista ang lahat ng mga bata na sampung taong gulang pataas na hindi pa nakukumpilan. Isang teenager na special child ang kanilang natagpuan sa aming depressed area. Pinuntahan namin upang kausapain at himukin ang mga magulang ng special child na siya ay pakumpilan yamang libre naman. Nagulat ang ama na puwede daw palang kumpilan kanyang anak at noon siya ay naiyak nang ikuwento sa akin na kaya dalawa lang kanilang anak. Natakot daw siyang special muli ang ikatlong anak nila.

Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Baguio Cathedral, 2018.

Bakit nga ba tinatawag na special child mga batang isinilang na mayroong iba’t-ibang kapansanan at pangangailangan? Hindi ba kapag special dapat ay mahusay at magaling. Halos perfect, hindi ba?

Special child ang tawag sa kanila kasi sila ay espesyal sa Diyos. At higit na espesyal sa lahat ang kanilang mga magulang at kapatid na pinili ng Diyos upang ipagkatiwala sa kanila ang Kanyang mga special children. Sila lang marahil sa dami ng iba pang ama at ina at mga kapatid ang may higit na pagmamahal at malasakit upang arugain at palakihin ang special child ng Diyos.

Noong magbuntis ang kapatid ko sa kanyang ikatlong anak, siya ay nakunan. Malungkot na malungkot ang kapatid ko noon dahil hirap siya sa pagbubuntis. Ipinaliwanag sa akin ng kanyang doctora na kapag daw ang sanggol sa sinapupunan ng ina ay na-detect na magkakaroon ng kapansanan o sakit, mayroon daw mekanismo mismo yung baby na mag automatic shut off para di na siya lumaki at mabuhay pa. Kaya nakukunan ng baby.

Samakatwid, natural sa plano ng Diyos na lahat ng isisilang ay buo at walang kapansanan ngunit kung sakaling mayroong makalusot at mabuhay hanggang mailuwal ng kanyang ina bilang special child, ito ay kalooban ng Diyos. Siya ay biyaya ng Diyos. Regalo ng Diyos. Kaya sinasabi ng iba “suwerte” daw ang special child. Malaking biyaya ng Diyos ang bawat buhay, lalo na kung mayroong kapansanan dahil sila ay pinahintulutan niyang isilang at mabuhay para sa isang misyon para sa ating lahat. At ito iyon: espesyal bawat isa sa atin sa Diyos.

Noong isang linggo ay nagmisa ako sa pumanaw na kapatid na special child ng isang ka-opisina. Natapat noong araw na iyon ang ebanghelyo ay napakaganda sa wikang Inggles na ganito ang sinasabi:

Lifting up his eyes to heaven, Jesus prayed, saying: “Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also may be with me, that they may see my glory that you gave me, because you loved me before the foundation of the world.”

John 17:24

Kay sarap namnamin mga salita ni Jesus, “Father, they are your gift to me.” Sa Tagalog ay hindi ganoon ang pagkakasalin at hindi binanggit ang kataga na regalo o gift. Ito yung tagpo ng kanyang pananalangin para sa kanyang mga alagad matapos ang kanilang Huling Hapunan bago siya dakpin noong Huwebes Santo.

Sino ba tayo para ituring ni Jesus na regalo o gift sa kanya ng Ama?

Sa kabila ng ating maraming kapintasan, kakulangan at kasalanan, iyan ang katotohanan: regalo tayo ng Diyos Ama di lamang sa isa’t-isa kungdi maging sa Anak niyang si Jesus.

Tayong lahat ay regalo ng Diyos. Napakahalaga, lalo na yaong mga mayroong kapansanan at iba’t ibang kahinaan sa pangangatawan at buhay.

Sa bawat special child ay mayroong extra-special na ina at ama at mga kapatid. Kaya kung ibig mo ring maging extra-special sa Diyos, kaibiganin, tulungan, at pahalagahan mga special children at kanilang pamilya. Amen.

Larawan kuha ni G. Jim Marpa, 2018.

Our unique giftedness

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday in the Seventh Week of Easter, 25 May 2023
Acts 22:30, 23:6-11   ><))))*> + <*((((><   John 17:20-26
Photo by author, Anvaya Cove, 27 February 2023.
How wonderful and
so touching, Lord Jesus,
for you to call us 
a gift from the Father.

“Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also be with me, that they may see my glory that you gave me, because you loved me before the foundation of the world.”

John 17:24
Help me keep, dear Jesus,
that being of a gift to you
from the Father by being
a witness of your glory
which is standing by your
side at the Cross like St. Paul
whom you have called "to bear
witness to you in Jerusalem and
in Rome" (Acts 23:11).
May we always remember
this truth, our being a gift to
you dear Jesus, so that in moments
we feel so overburdened,
when we are losing hope,
when we feel like giving up,
we may forge on 
and persevere
in bearing witness 
to your Cross of suffering
so that eventually be one
in your glorious Resurrection.
Amen.

Grateful and challenged

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Twenty-Eighth Week of Ordinary Time, 14 October 2022
Ephesians 1:11-14     ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*>     Luke 12:1-7
Photo by author, Sonnen Berg, Davao City, 2018.

In him you also, who have heard the word of truth, the Gospel of your salvation, and have believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, which is the first installment of our inheritance toward redemption as God’s possession, to the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 1:13-14
God our loving Father,
I praise and thank you for
another week about to end;
most of all, I am deeply grateful
to you that despite my sins
and weaknesses, 
my nothingness before you
and others, you have chosen me,
you have called me and 
sealed me with your Holy Spirit.
What a loving God and Father
we truly have in you!
As proof of your love,
you have given us your Son
Jesus Christ who shared in our
humanity so we can share 
your divinity; but so many times,
I leave him,
doubting his ways,
fearful of his challenges.
Forgive me, O Lord,
when many times
I doubt your calls
and your gifts to me,
when I fail to be true to you
and others, even to my very self
that I resort to hypocrisy -
that leaven of the Pharisees
Jesus had warned us;
let that truth sink in me
that I am "worth than many
sparrows" (Lk.12:7) 
that I may dare to rise 
and stand firm by your side
on the Cross.
Amen.

Grace and blessedness of leaving

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday after the Ascension of the Lord, 01 June 2022
Acts 20:28-38     ><}}}}*> + <*{{{{><     John 17:11-19
Photo by author, Ubihan Island, Obando, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.
As we begin the first day of
the end of first half of the year,
your words today, O God, are full 
of wisdom worthy for us to keep 
about the blessedness and grace
of every leaving, of every departure;
how ironic when every leaving is
characterized with sadness because
of separation, your words today, O
Lord speak of lavish joy, of your desire
that our joy may be complete in you.
In the first reading, St. Paul is bidding
goodbye to the Ephesians on his way
to Rome for imprisonment and sure death;
there was so much grief among the 
people and yet, there is the pervading 
atmosphere of blessedness and grace.
First is the grace of the gift of person,
of St. Paul and ultimately, of Jesus Christ.

Dear God, may we be like St. Paul truly a
grace to everyone with his sincerity of
love and service, dedication to your
Son Jesus Christ and his gospel of salvation;
teach us to imitate St. Paul of being a
blessing ourselves to others as we make
people experience and feel your love 
and care, your concern and goodwill;
evidently, his concern up to the end is you,
O God and your people whom he warned
on guard against those who would come
after his departure in "perverting the truth", 
reminding them how he loved and 
"admonished them with tears" 
(Acts 20:30-31).
And of course, the greatest blessing
and grace of all who have "left" us
physically is your Son Jesus Christ.
How wonderful that at the Last Supper
before his arrest, he prayed for us
all his disciples he would leave behind.

Lifting up his eyes to heaven, Jesus prayed, saying: “Holy Father, keep them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one just as we are one… Consecrate them in the truth. Your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world. And I consecrate myself for them, so that they also may be consecrated in truth.

John 17:11, 17-19
Thank you, dear Jesus, for the
gifts of being one like you and the
Father and being consecrated to
the truth - to you yourself!
To be consecrated is to be separated
from the rest in order to be holy for you,
O Lord for the sake of the people;
you alone, Lord Jesus, are the holy one
and thank you in immersing us into you,
making us like you, apart from others in
holiness but united with everyone in
loving service.
Let us not forget this tremendous
blessing and grace you have given
us before returning to the Father,
Lord Jesus.  Keep us one in you with
the Father in loving service of others.
Let us not forget this tremendous
challenge too as part of our mission
that we always leave your marks of 
holiness and truth with everyone 
we serve and meet.  Amen.

Prayer to love the giver, not the gift

The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Week XI, Year I in Ordinary Time, 16 June 2021
2 Corinthians 9:6-11   ><)))'> + <'(((><   Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18
From Pinterest.com.

So many times, O God our Father, we have been acting so foolishly, forgetting the more essential in life as we waste precious time and our very selves with less important things and matter.

And most often, it is you whom we always forget, whom we disregard when you alone is the one whom we must always desire, whom we must always please for you alone who truly loves us above all.

Most of all, you alone is the Source of all good things in this life to whom we must always turn to.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Take care not to perform religious deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.”

Matthew 6:1

You do not need “advertisements” for your goodness and love for us for they are all self-evident.

Worst is how we fail to realize that every time we advertise our goodness and supposed to be holiness, the more we fool ourselves as we become most selfish and not holy at all!

Make us aware to remember the teaching of Thomas á Kempis that it is the love of the giver – YOU – that matters most than the gift itself.

A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover, as the love of the giver. He esteems the affection above the gift, and values every gift far below the Beloved. A noble lover is not content with a gift, but desires Myself above all gifts. 

Imitation of Christ, Book III, Part VI, “Of the proving of the true lover” by Thomas á Kempis (d. 1471)

It is because of this wrong focus on the gifts than on the Giver that we have failed in imitating your Son Jesus Christ in his loving service and generosity with others.

Help us realize, O Lord, that you alone are the source of every good gift in life, that you can never be outdone in generosity as you give us lavishly with all the gifts we need in this life.

Help us realize that we are all vessels and sharers of your grace:

“Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you, so that in all things, always having all you need, you may have an abundance for every good work…You are being enriched in every way for all generosity, which through us produces thanksgiving to God”

2 Corinthians 9:8, 11

We pray, O Lord, for each of us to count the many blessings you have given us amid the hard times that have fallen upon us since the start of this pandemic so that we may see you more above all things. Amen.

The hiddenness of God

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 04 September 2020
Photo by author, sunset at the Lake of Galilee (Tiberias) in Israel, May 2017.

August has always been a “ghost month” for me since elementary school. Long before I have heard these stories and words of caution against many things in the month of August, I have always dreaded this month when days are grindingly slow.

Specially this year 2020 when the whole month of August felt like the season of Lent when everything was dry and empty, even literally speaking in our churches when the five Sundays of August were like five Good Fridays.

But, for the first time in many years during this pandemic, amid the dryness and emptiness of August 2020, I felt and “found” God anew in his most unique and wonderful characteristic — his hiddenness.

Hiddenness is different from being invisible that simply means “not visible”.

Hiddenness is something both simple and complicated but beautiful and wonderful when we find God in his hiddenness.

Hiddenness of God means more than not being seen per se; it is that feeling with certainty that he is present but, just hiding somewhere. In fact, if God were not hidden, we would have not found him at all!

And the more God is hidden, the more we are able to see him and experience him!

Photo by author, April 2020.

Remember when we were kids and could not find the things that our mother had asked us to get from somewhere in the sala or kitchen or her tocador? She would threaten us with the classic line my generation have all heard and memorized, “Pag hindi mo nakita yan, makikita mo sa akin!”

It is one of our funniest memories of childhood! I am sorry for my English-speaking readers but there is no appropriate translation for this because it is very cultural and even spiritual in nature. Literally translated, it says that if you do not find what you are looking for, you would find it with me. Crazy and insane, is it not?!

I told you, hiddenness of God is both simple and complex but whenever we remember those “sweet, maternal threats”, we laugh and shrug off the experience as we were dead serious then searching for whatever thing mom had asked us because deep in us we knew too well, it must be somewhere there. Sabi kasi ni Inay! (Mom said so!)

That is how it is with God too! We know for sure he is around, he is present. But in hiding because that is how loving God is, like moms and some lovers with surprises for us his beloved.

The Prophet Jeremiah experienced it so well when he wrote:

You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me, and you triumphed. All the day I am an object of laughter, everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I must cry out, violence and outrage is my message; the word of the Lord has brought me derision and reproach all the day. I say to myself, I will not mention him, I will speak in his name no more. But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding itin, I cannot endure it.

Jeremiah 20:7-9

No one can understand this without having experienced such intense kind of love of God or of another person that even if we are pained, we just cannot walk away or leave. More so with God, the most intense lover of all!

At the very center of Jeremiah’s torment is the invincible power of attraction of God. This is also the reason human love – whether for another a friend or a spouse, for the Church or any institution – must always be based on the love of Christ who told us to “love one another as I have loved you.” If our love remains in the human level, it can never go deeper or higher making it so sublime, so true, so pure.

That is how God is in his hiddenness who is like a lover who never stops looking for us, calling us, luring us, even seducing us to come to him, search him and once found, we may dwell in his great love; hence, even if we do not “see” him, we keep on following him as we also find him in his hiddenness!

Hiddenness of God, mystery and gift of Easter

This hiddenness of God is both the gift and mystery of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection. It is a gift because in his hiddenness, God has become closest to us more than ever while at the same time, a mystery because it is in his very hiddenness that we truly find and discover God.

Remember the two disciples going home to Emmaus on Easter afternoon who was accompanied by Jesus while traveling? They did not recognize him but as they talked, their “hearts were burning” as he explained the Scriptures. Then joining them at their meal at sundown upon reaching Emmaus, Jesus took the bread, blessed it and broke it — and the disciples’ eyes were opened, recognizing him as the Lord who immediately disappeared! The two then rushed back to Jerusalem to announce to the other disciples that Jesus had indeed risen.

That is the beauty of hiddenness, its giftedness and mystery that we find God even our beloved who had died or not physically present with us but deep within, we are certain of their presence as being so true and so real.

Hiddenness is a deeper level of relationship coming from one’s heart and soul not dependent on physical presence. This is the reason why upon appearing to Mary Magdalene on Easter morning, Jesus asked her not to touch him because from then on, knowing and relating with the Lord need not be physical and corporeal as he used to relate with them before his Death and Resurrection.

All these we must have experienced like when after a friend or a relative had died, that is when we felt growing closer with the person than when he/she was still alive and physically present with us. Or, when we were feeling low and down, we experienced sometimes so amazed at how we have felt the presence even the scent of our deceased loved ones comforting us, assuring us that all would be better.

This quarantine period invites us to experience and discover God anew in his hiddenness through prayers and silence so we can reflect on the many lessons this pandemic is teaching us today. In the darkness and emptiness of this pandemic are grace-filled moments with God hidden in our poverty and sadness, sickness and even deaths around us.

Photo by author, Christmas 2018.

Some people have already asked me about what or how would our Simbang Gabi and Christmas celebrations be. They are sad and worried that it must be a very bleak Christmas for everyone with so many out of work.

But, despite this gloom, I tell them that Christmas 2020 would be one – if not the most meaningful Christmas we shall ever have despite forecasts that there would be less of everything, materially speaking.

So often in life, when we have so much material things, that is when we fail to find and experience God.

Recall that in Bethlehem more that 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ was born, God came to us hidden in a stable, on a manger in the darkness of the night.

And do not forget, too, that Christmas is not a date but an event, the very person of Jesus Christ, the all-powerful God who came to us hidden in a child, who upon becoming an adult, was crucified and died. These are sad and down moments for us but for God, it is his hiddenness, his presence. Let us go and find him again for he continues to come to us in hiddenness. Amen.