Jesus, the “love language” of God

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 06 October 2024
Genesis 2:18-24 ><}}}}*> Hebrews 2:9-11 ><}}}}*> Mark 10:2-16

*With our student sacristans in our San Fernando Campus in Pampanga during the Mass of the Holy Spirit last year.*

One of the joys of my ministry as chaplain in a university and a hospital is the daily interaction I have with young people who keep me young like them, always updated with the many trends happening among them especially in the languages they speak. In them I continue to find the many faces of Jesus Christ who continues to pass by even in this modern world so swiftly changing due to social media.

Two terms I have recently learned from them are “love language” and “situationship”. Let’s just talk about “love language” this Sunday that is more appropriate with our gospel and reserve that other word “situationship” when the setting is more apt. Lately I have noticed the term “love language” mentioned quite often in social media posts and reels. I never bothered to know it until somebody asked me what is my “love language” that threw me off balance with many wild things rushing into my mind, thinking what is it!

It turned out that “love language” is a term coined in 1992 by Baptist pastor Gary Chapman in his book of the same title where he identified five love languages we give and (prefer) to receive: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. It was an amazing moment of learning from me when I realized that everyone – including us priests – has a favorite love language in expressing our love to everyone. And in our gospel today, we find that even God who is love Himself has a love language in the very person of His Son Jesus Christ!

The Pharisees approached Jesus and asked, “Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?” They were testing him. He said to them in reply, “What did Moses command you?” They replied, “Moses permitted a husband to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her.” But Jesus told them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mark 10:2-9).

*Photo by author, 2024; I have loved mosses that thrive even with little sunlight, reminding us of God’s grace especially when we are in darkness and tribulations.*

Jesus and the Twelve continued their journey to Jerusalem with His teachings not only getting more exciting but actually more difficult and hard as He addressed the thorny issue of divorce which continues to divide us in this modern age.

Interestingly enough, this scene happened while Jesus and the Twelve were in Judea, the province governed by King Herod who had John the Baptist arrested and later beheaded upon the instigation of his wife Herodias. John spoke against Herod’s taking of Herodias as wife because she used to be the wife of his own brother Philip then governing another province. One can just imagine the grave danger the Pharisees have exposed Jesus in discussing divorce right in the turf of an evil ruler living with an adulteress!

As usual, Jesus did not fall into the test by the Pharisees because He had no intentions of joining our endless debates about divorce as He knew very well that it is something so complicated that has continued to ruin human relationships as a result of the “hardness of our hearts”. Recall too similar instances when Jesus was asked for an opinion in politics like the paying of taxes to Caesar and the settlement of disputes among brothers regarding their inheritance. See how Jesus would always make it clear that His mission is not to settle our disputes in economics and politics nor personal relationships but to always reveal to us the will of God.

Instead of giving a simple answer of “yes” or “no” on the lawfulness of a divorce or the paying of taxes to the Romans, Jesus would always bring us to God our Father, the very core of our being and relationships. It is only in being rooted again in God when we realize personally, existentially why we have to strive in choosing what is true, good and beautiful no matter how difficult it may be.

This Sunday, Jesus is not offering compromises to us weak human beings about divorce but rather proposes the ideal of marriage by going back to its very source and beginning, God Himself who is love.

That is why our first reading was taken from Genesis to remind us and make us realize that everything, most especially man and woman – is created by God. Everything in this world was from God, especially our desire for union and communion which we also find expressed even by trees and plants as well as animals.

However, what makes us distinct from the rest of creation as we see in other parts of Genesis is God breathing on us His breath of life that gives us the consciousness of our oneness, of that transcendent otherness called humanity that makes us realize our deeper reality in the “I-Thou” relationship. Plants and animals do not have that consciousness.

*Photo by author, St. Scholastica Retreat Center, Tagaytay City, August 2024.*

The creation of a woman as suitable partner of man is not a result of an after-thought of God as if He never knew man would never be fulfilled without a woman. The creation of woman being taken from one of the ribs of man cast into a deep sleep by God reminds us of each person being a gift to everyone. No pet nor plant can bring that kind of ecstasy and joy of finding somebody like us, of bringing unity in every one who is incomplete in one’s self.

See how Jesus repeated the Genesis account “that is why” or “for this reason” a man leaves his father and mother and be joined with his wife to become one.

This tendency of ours towards one another, a consciousness of then other person, is a gift and a grace indicating our origin who is God who always relates with us. Every time we destroy this unity, whenever we upset this complementarity among us in God, that is when disorder happens, generating competitions among us that lead to our endless conflicts that only leave us with more pains and sorrows. Hence, back in the house again towards the end of our gospel scene this Sunday, Jesus reiterated the example of the child after His disciples drove them away.

*Photo by author, statue of the Child Jesus hugging St. Joseph, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, March 2024.*

How lovely and ironic that despite the weaknesses and incompleteness of children, we find in them all five love languages too. What a joy to play and converse with children, especially carry babies despite their lack of language skills we find each one a love language in himself/herself – exactly like Jesus Christ, the love language of God who gave us everything to experience oneness in love.

God knows everything that He created us in His own image and likeness. Nothing, not even sin could ever destroy His grand design for us since creation so that right after the Fall, God right away promised salvation fulfilled in Jesus Christ whom He had sent to remind us anew of His wonderful plan for us.

I have a similar image like this in my room, my most favorite statue of St. Joseph as protector of the Child Jesus and Mary. But most of all, we find Jesus being the love language of God even in his childhood with His all-encompassing love that reached its highest point at the Crucifixion.

God knows everything, especially our weaknesses in keeping our relationships. Jesus is not judging us and knows very well the pains many are enduring as a result of separation and divorce. The Letter to the Hebrews we heard in the second reading tells us how Jesus in suffering death has become like us in order to share with us the grace we need to keep our human relationships strong.

Every Sunday, I visit our patients in the hospital to give them Holy Communion, hear their confessions and often, anoint most of them with Oil for the sick.

Whenever I meet couples especially those already old and with debilitating sickness, I praise God for the tremendous grace he gives them. In them I always find God so truly present among us, especially in every husband and wife lovingly serving each other in sickness and in health. Let us pray for all couples that they may cooperate with God’s grace in keeping their marriage alive. Amen. Have a blessed week ahead!

Grudge

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Memorial of the Passion of John the Baptist, 29 August 2024
Jeremiah 1:17-19 <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> Mark 6:17-29

*Photo from catholicworldreport.com, “The Beheading of St. John the Baptist” (1869) by Pierre Puvis de Chevannes.*

A precursor of the Lord's birth,
a precursor of the Lord's death.
What a great task you have entrusted,
O God, to John the Baptist and to us 
as well; many times, we forget this 
role of our being like John in life
and in death, always standing
and speaking what is true and just.

Forgive us, O God,
when more often we
have allowed ourselves
to be like Herodias who
"harbored a grudge 
against John."

Herod was the one who had John the Baptist arrested and bound in prison on account of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip, whom he had married. John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” Herodias harbored a grudge against him and wanted kill him but was unable to do so (Mark 6:17-19).

Take away, O Lord Jesus, 
the many grudges we have, 
festering in our hearts,
eating up our very selves,
and poisoning our relationships 
especially with those closest to us;
heal us, most merciful Jesus,
of the grudges that have tore
us apart and make us whole
again as persons, family 
and friends; take away within us
whatever vestiges of grudges
we have against anyone
so we may move forward
in life, let go of revenge
and ill desires for those
who may have hurt us.

"In you, O Lord,
I take refuge; 
let me never be put 
to shame. In your justice
rescue me, and deliver me;
incline your ear to me,
and save me" (Psalm 71:1)
instead of harboring 
grudges inside me against 
anyone.
Amen.

*“Salome with the Head of John the Baptist” painting by Caravaggio (1607) at the National Gallery of London; photo from en.wikipedia.org.*

Two Netflix docus worth to cap the long weekend

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 26 August 2024

There are two great documentaries now streaming at Netflix worth watching to cap your long weekend this Monday. I watch Netflix only on Sunday afternoon to evening after my Masses but with so much spare time these long weekend, we tried doing it earlier than usual.

Very often, choosing a movie has always been a struggle with me that always ends up with replays like last Friday of Steven Seagal’s 1988 Above the Law. Aside from old movies, I have always loved old actors that is why when I saw Ed Harris and John Malkovich in the cast of new offerings by Netflix, I immediately jumped on them.

Having spent my early childhood with the weekly series Wild Wild West in the late 60’s, I naturally went first with Ed Harris as narrator of that six-part Western documentary series “Wyatt Earp and the Cowboy War”. You can finish it in one sitting with each series less than 50 minutes each. Though he is not like the voice-over talents of History Channel, Harris breathed on life and contemporariness in one of America’s earliest version of today’s so media-hyped stories and personalities. Harris was so cool and suave as narrator yet authoritative even pedagogical in his manner in explaining history and social psychology in presenting the latest facts and insights on the celebrated life of Wyatt Earp complete with photos and reenactments.

Earp and his two brothers served as marshals in the prosperous town of Tombstone in Arizona following the discovery of silver in the area after the American Civil War. Before the coming of gold, it was silver that was propelling the American economy at that time to new heights. However, following the shooting incident between the Earps and a group of bandits led by one Ike Clanton at the O.K. Corral, it eventually led to the so-called Cowboy War.

The series is very engaging with a lot of sprinklings of American politics and businesses, notably the stories behind the growth and influences behind notable banks Wells-Fargo and investment house JP Morgan along with the growing power of newspaper industry in the US that fed on the appetite of so many people eager for news and chismis!

In short, the series delved on the resolution and ending of the Cowboy War that eventually paved the way for the conquest of the American West through business and economics that have cemented it until now as a bastion of the mighty dollar.

After that quick marathon, we shifted to our next movie, Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile. Actually, I had to check again the details of the movie that sounded like a horror one; but, after finding out that one of our all-time favorite John Malkovich was indeed in the cast of the movie based on the first-person account book by Liz Kendall as long-time girlfriend of the “most sadistic sociopath” in crime history, Ted Bundy, we went for it straight!

You know very well the flamboyance of Malkovich in whatever role he had played in his long career. In this docu-film based on that book by Kendall, Malkovich superbly handled Bundy’s trial like the actual judge, Edward Cowart. At the end of the movie, they were splices of actual footages of the Bundy trial that was also the first nationally televised court trial in the US. At first I thought it was part of the “dramatic enhancement” by Malkovich of the hearing for dramatic impact but it turned out that it was exactly how Judge Cowart spoke and behaved in his courtroom. It was so close to the truth except Cowart was portly unlike Malkovich who was nonetheless able to mimic him perfectly in his antics and style.

Netflix displayed a great genius in this film made a few years after their docuseries The Ted Bundy Tapes. When we saw that series, we were so focused on the evil ways of Bundy; in this movie, we are offered with a more personal or human touch in the inhumanity of Bundy through his longtime girlfriend Kendall.

And here lies the point of convergence of this two new Netflix movies: both Wyatt Earp and the Cowboy War and Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile presented the veracity of that expression widely attributed to Edmund Burke that “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph if for good men to do nothing.”

It is always good to see the triumph of good over evil even if sometimes it takes a long while.

In Wyatt Earp and the Cowboy War, Harris narrated so well how Earp was so maligned by the vicious liar Clanton who got the whole town behind him for a time. In the movie we are reminded how we always have to sacrifice and endure sufferings to correct evils prevailing even in the society. Most of all, no one can live forever on sin and evil, on violence and war. There will come a time when we just have to cease all violence and retire in silence to let peace have a chance to be won and restored.

In Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, we are cofnronted with the most difficult truth and reality of standing against evil and sin even if the ones perpetrating them is a loved one. Admittedly, I have forgotten how Bundy was finally arrested and linked to the numerous cases of kidnapping, rape and murders that experts believe may run to more than 100 women and young girls.

So interesting in this movie is the fact that it was Kendall, his girlfriend who actually tipped the police about Bundy that eventually led to his arrest. You should see the opening and the closing scenes when Kendall and Bundy finally met anew in prison while he was awaiting execution. That was during those ten years of incarceration while awaiting his execution when Bundy who was superbly played by Zac Efron had maintained innocence to all the crimes until after that visit by Kendall. It was very chilling but praiseworthy of the great courage and strong moral compass of that woman Kendall who did not allow evil to perpetuate even inside her home.

See both movies and examine also your stand for what is true and good, fair and just. And human, most of all.

When getting technical & legal, we forget our personal relationships

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of San Roque (St. Rock/Roche), Healer, 16 August 2024
Ezekiel 16:1-15, 60, 63 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Matthew 19:3-12

God our loving Father,
thank you for the gift of personhood,
for your gift of personal relationship
with each one of us;
your servant St. John Paul II
defined a person as a 
"full, conscious, relating being."

Very true but sadly,
we never recognize your gift
of personhood,
of our being a person
and its fruit of relationships;
instead of looking into the
heart and soul of every one of us,
we prefer to see each one
in the mind, in the letter,
in the technical than personal:

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?” (Matthew 19:3)

Soften our hearts, Jesus;
take away our stony hearts
and give us natural hearts
that beats with firm faith,
fervent hope in You,
and unceasing charity for everyone.

Forgive us for being so captivated
by our own beauty and prowess,
remove our confusion
and let us be silenced for shame
(Ezekiel 16:15, 63)
to remember your covenant
by appreciating and being open
to your gift of person and relationships
by striving to keep this alive
despite our many flaws and sins.
Amen.

St. Rock,
pray for us so infected
by another kind of pestilence
of pandemic proportion when
we see persons as objects
and make objects like persons.
Amen.

Elijah & Jesus with “Lolo and the Kid”

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 13 August 2024

This is a rejoinder to my Sunday homily I posted here Saturday morning (https://lordmychef.com/2024/08/10/when-we-cry-this-is-enough-god-gives-us-more-than-enough-to-go-on/).

I had published my Sunday homily that Saturday morning when I decided to unwind by watching any movie on Netflix which I do only on weekends. So glad it was the first movie I saw, very related with the story of Prophet Elijah and Jesus Christ’s “Bread of Life Discourse” that Sunday.

First think I liked with Lolo and the Kid is its fast-paced story that revolved around the two characters played by veteran Joel Torre and GMA7’s famed Firefly star Euwenn Mikael Aleta.

Second thing so interesting with me is how Lolo and Kid have no proper names at all (I just learned Lolo’s name was Mario after reading the various write ups) maybe because they stand for all of us who are caught in this great race for money and material things but deep inside longing for the more essential and truly lasting in life like love. And people who love us too, who care for us, and would stand by us.

We are Lolo and Kid who many times have traded our principles for momentary satisfaction but despite our seemingly strong facades of pragmatism and “resourcefulness” or madiskarte as Lolo taught Kid in the movie, deep inside us is still our conscience where God dwells, telling us to pursue good and shun evil. Joel Torre perfectly portrayed this beautiful side in each one of us (with his Ilonggo accent) of keeping a conscience despite our sinfulness, like a soft shell we delicately keep whole and intact inside lest we lose everything in life.

Recall our first reading last Sunday about Elijah fleeing to the mountain from an army pursuing to kill him. Elijah felt a total failure like Lolo and us many times in life when after all our goodwill and love, we are dumped by the very people we care for.

Elijah went a day’s journey into the desert, until he came to a broom tree and sat beneath it. He prayed for death, saying: “This is enough, O Lord! Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers” (1 Kings 19:4).

In one of the scenes of Lolo and the Kid, we find Lolo crying, cursing everyone and murmuring just like in last Sunday’s gospel. As he tried to end his life with a knife, Lolo suddenly heard the cry of an infant from the heap of garbage around him. What a beautiful portrayal of that infant left in the trash like Jesus Christ born on a manger becoming the savior of Lolo, a definitive message of mercy and love from God after his apparent cry of “This is enough, Lord!”

How many times have we found ourselves in the same situation, often in less momentous ones than Elijah or any prophet and saint, crying out to God in the heavens “this is enough”?

But, what is also most true behind every cry of “this is enough” that we make, we continue to believe and to hope in God that there is still a way out of our plight. And very often like in the story of Elijah last Sunday and in that scene in Lolo and the Kid, God comes at the nick of time like that infant crying in the garbage heap, a reminder of life and beauty found within us despite all the dirt we may have around us.

Here we find the Kid, perfectly played by Euwenn like in Firefly, as the saving grace, the Christ-figure in the movie bringing salvation to Lolo. Kid was “the bread of life from heaven” who “fed” Lolo with life with its meaning and direction. And joy found in Kid, the image of Christ Jesus.

Now, joy according to Jesus at the Last Supper is like a woman at the pangs of childbirth (Jn.16:21-22); it is deeper than happiness. True joy is borne out of self-sacrifice, a fruit of self-denial, of loving somebody more than one’s self. This we find at the end of this moving film.

Now all grown up, Kid finally met again Lolo in the hospital a day after his college graduation. Kid brought Lolo while seated on a wheelchair to visit Taba (another character without a name), their suki in fencing. From there, they went to their usual stop, a videoke bar to eat and drink, singing repeatedly Kenny Roger’s Through the Years.

Then, Lolo died, singing the only tune he knew that summed their beautiful relationship.

After Lolo’s body was taken out of the videoke bar, Kid opened Lolo’s bag that had a tin can of biscuit filled with old photographs taken with their stolen Polaroid camera. The photos did not merely remind Kid of their happy times together but most especially when they were already apart!

Unknown to Kid, Lolo hid to take photos when he moved to his adoptive parents, from his first ever birthday party to his college graduation! Through the years, Lolo, like God, was always there, present in all of Kid’s milestones in life because he is truly loved.

I have never liked that song Through the Years even when it was a hit during our high school days in 1981 but since Saturday, I have been humming it silently, hearing it inside me as an LSS until now. We hear the song playing throughout the end of the movie with scenes of how Lolo secretly took Kid’s photos filled with love and joy amid the strong current of pain within he had to endure to be far and away yet so near to his beloved apo.

If the Kid is the Christ figure in this film, Lolo is the God-the-Father figure, the One who seems so far from us as if He does not care at all. In Lolo and the Kid, there is that message of God never leaving us wherever we may be, whether we are in the squalor of poverty and sin or in the purity and cleanliness of affluence and grace maybe. God like Lolo to Kid is always with us but never interferes, silently doing many things to ensure that despite our many faults and failures in life, we end up in Him and His love.

We go back to Elijah’s cry of “This is enough, Lord!”, our very same cry like Lolo in the movie.

It is a cry that is also a prayer coming from our innermost being when we feel so saddled with no one to unload our woes except to God – who after all is the very reason why we cry! Watch for Lolo’s soliloquy on this reality we often do.

*Photo by author, James Alberione Center, QC, 08 August 2024.*

It is a cry of faith so akin with love because to believe and to love go hand in hand. It is during that moment when we feel like giving up to God, crying “this is enough” when in reality we surrender everything to God because we have been caught up by Him that we cannot resist His attraction.

It is that moment when we feel so “fed up with life” but deep inside, we hear God telling us like Lolo with the cries of an infant or like Elijah with an angel instructing him, “Get up and eat, else the journey will be too long for you!” (1 Kings 19:7).

Yes, our life journey is still long but we have a companion in Jesus, our bread of life from heaven, nourishing us, strengthening us, teaching us that essential beauty of love found only in sharing one’s life for the other. As we have said in last Sunday’s homily, it is when we cry “it is enough, Lord” when God gives us more than enough to sustain us sometimes in the form of a good movie like this one. May we have more “bread” like Lolo and the Kid that feeds our soul and gladdens our heart.

*BTW, we are not paid to endorse this movie; simply sharing with you its good news.

Keeping our roots

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of Sts. Joachim and Anne, Parents of the BVM, 26 July 2024
Jeremiah 3:14-17 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 13:18-23

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 19 March 2023.*

As we reel from the aftermath
of the recent storms that caused
widespread floods and affected 
so many lives,
Your words today Lord Jesus Christ
direct our thoughts 
to our roots and rootedness 
in God and with one another
especially our grandparents.

The seed sown on the rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy. But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away (Matthew 13:20-21).

How lovely that on this Memorial
of Saints Joachim and Anne,
the parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary
and grandparents of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the gospel invites us to go back and nurture 
our roots; like any good tree planted firmly
that provides shades and food
as well as holds water when rains come,
roots evoke a sense of interconnectedness,
of trust with each other,
of our grounding in life and mission
that give direction for us in life;
without the root,
we not only wither and die
but lose sense and meaning in life;
it is in the root we find our identity
and mission;
in the root is found our true selves;
it is the root that holds us
to remain whole despite 
the many blows we encounter in life.
That is why the Prophet Jeremiah
invites us in the first reading to 
go back to God,
to be converted always.
It is not difficult to find out what kind
of people were Saints Joachim and Anne
because when we study and reflect the
writings we have about 
the Blessed Virgin Mary
and her Son Jesus Christ,
the more we discover
their roots must be so good indeed.

God our Father,
let us be rooted in You always,
finding You among the people
You gift us beginning with our
family and friends;
let us realize our roots
extend beyond people but also
with all your creation
so that we may love and care
for the blessed environment 
You have given us called Earth.
Amen.

“The Closer I Get to You” by Roberta Flack (1977)

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 July 2024

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD, Infanta, Quezon, 2020.*

We’re back on this lazy but blessed Sunday when our gospel is about rest, “Jesus said to his apostles, ‘Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while'” (Mk. 6:31).

Rest is first of all going back to God in Jesus Christ who sends us to work, on a mission; rest is being filled with God or “breathed on” by God as we say in Filipino mag-pa-hinga (https://lordmychef.com/2024/07/20/rest-is-to-be-close-with-jesus-close-with-others/).

And we thank God for the gift of music that is the easiest, most affordable and most rewarding manner of rest for us next to prayer and the Mass. Most of all, see that every song, every musical piece is always about love who is God Himself!

For this Sunday, we go back to 1977 with Roberta Flack’s romantic ballad The Closer I Get to You that is more than a song of love but a story of love in itself.

According to Ms. Flack, it was her manager David Franklin’s idea that she record a duet of that song with her college friend Donny Hathaway who was then suffering with clinical depression. Both have worked together earlier in several duets. As a way of helping her friend get over his depression, the song was re-written while Ms. Flack had to make a lot of sacrifices in recording and shuttling between New York City and Chicago where Hathaway was confined to a hospital and had refused to travel.

Hathaway never recovered from his depression and eventually died a few years after the release of their duet in 1978 that became an instant hit, earning praises and had them nominated for Grammy the following year.

Ms. Flack said in an interview that their duet would always be her dedication to Hathaway as she donated all the money earned from that song to Hathaway’s widow and two children.

As we have mentioned in our homily today, rest is getting closer with God and the closer we get to Him, the closer we get with others. That is why Jesus was moved with pity to the vast crowds who have followed them to a deserted place to rest: His oneness with the Father moved Him closer to people especially the poor and the suffering. And that is why we find The Closer I Get to You perfect with our gospel this Sunday: the more we get closer with Jesus, the more we get closer with our family and friends and those in need.

The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving me all you've got
Your love has captured me

I love that first stanza of The Closer I Get to You; it says the very essence of the song which is a gospel in itself. It reminds us of St. John’s first letter when he wrote, “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1Jn.4:12).

The more we get closer with anyone, the more we love, because the more our eyes are opened to see others to love. And God becomes more present among us!

It’s a Sunday, go celebrate the Mass and enjoy some beautiful music to remind us of God’s presence among us. Here now is The Close I Get To You…

From YouTube.com

Expect the unexpected

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Solemnity of the Birth of John the Baptist, 24 June 2024
Isaiah 49:1-6 ><}}}}*> Acts 13:22-26 ><}}}}*> Luke 1:57-66.80

*Photo from Wikipedia, mosaic of Jesus with Mary and John the Baptist at the Hagia Sophia in Turkey.*

Praise and glory to You,
God our loving Father
in sending us John the Baptist
as Precursor of your Son
Jesus Christ our Savior;
on this Solemnity of his birth
six months before Christmas
during the summer solstice to
remind us of John's vocation,
"a burning and shining lamp"
(John 5:35) set to decrease 
when the Light that illuminates
the world appeared in December,
the winter solstice.

Everything about John pointed 
to the unexpected - his conception
in the womb of his old, barren mother
Elizabeth, his being named not after
his father Zechariah, and his life being
spent in the wilderness, not in the
temple to follow the footsteps of
his father; most of all, his "manifestation
to Israel"  (Lk.1:80) was not about himself 
but pointed to the Christ, Jesus our Lord
and Savior.

What is not unexpected, dear Father,
is the connection between John and
Jesus and the salvific events that have
everyone filled with joy and fear at the
same time for "surely your hand hand
was with him" (Lk.1:66).

*Photo by author, Binuangan Is., Meycauayan, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.*

Open our eyes and our hearts, 
merciful Father, to always expect 
the unexpected in this life and mission,
to learn to withdraw in the wilderness 
of our lives like John 
to realize that our whole being 
like his is directed to our relationship
with Jesus the Christ.

Let us decrease
so that Jesus may increase!
Let us strive to go to the wilderness
to empty ourselves to be filled
by the Holy Spirit;
most of all,
let your words comfort us
when life becomes so difficult
in being a herald of Jesus by proclaiming
repentance and conversion (Acts 13:24):

“You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God” (Isaiah 49:3,4).

How wonderful
that when I learn to expect
the unexpected from You,
O God,
that is when I am less,
Jesus becomes more in me,
then truly,
You are most gracious,
 Father through me,
like John.
Amen.

*Photo by author, birthplace of St. John the Baptist beneath the church in his honor in Ein Karem, Israel, May 2019*

Birthday & funeral

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 20 June 2024

As a priest for 26 years, I have been a frequent visitor to cemeteries to bless parishioners, friends and relatives who have died. It was more of duties and ministry for me as a priest except for some who were dear to me.

But, when mommy passed away last month, visiting the cemetery has become something more personal with much meaning deep within, now both our parents are gone. I did not feel it when daddy died 24 years ago on mommy’s birthday. Perhaps it was partly because of the fact I had to come and visit their graves so often these past days: for the wake and burial of mommy from May 7-11, then her 40th day June 15, then again on the 17th for her 85th birthday and dad’s 24th death anniversary. Of course, we are coming back July 26 for dad’s 92nd birthday.

So, definitely I shall be coming there more often in the years to come as a son, secondary only as a priest.

Now it has become clearer to us siblings why dad died on mom’s birthday 24 years ago: so that it is more economical – matipid – for us to come and visit their gravesites. Isang puntahan na lang! Birthday at kamatayan. How I really wish and pray daily our parents are already reunited finally in eternity to enjoy each other’s company again before God.

*Our parents, always together especially during meals.*

My parents were not perfect couple. They quarreled, had misunderstandings like most husband and wife. But they strived so hard in loving each other despite their imperfections along with ours their children. This they practiced so well on the dining table, always eating together.

From my earliest memory until I became a priest, they have always taken their meals together. Most often, it was my dad who would always wait for my mom to be back home and be told by her personally that she had eaten somewhere in a party. That’s the only time he would really eat while my mom sat beside him, serving him while telling him stories where she had gone with her friends. Many times we would tease mommy whenever friends would pick her up to an event or socials without dad. “Maghihintay na naman ang daddy sa inyo, hindi kakain yun.” But she would tell us often the glaring truth about my dad, “ang daddy ninyo walang sinasabi sa aking ganyan; basta alam niya aalis ako. Sabayan ninyo sa pagkain.”

*Our parents during their honeymoon in 1964.*

Of course, dad would wait for her and most often, he was the one serving us children during meal until his retirement!

When I was in the seminary until I became a priest, every time I would come home to visit them, dad would always ask me if I had eaten. Even if I told him I have had lunch or merienda, he would still get food and serve them on the table. What can I do, especially if he cooked mechado or pochero that Sunday and had kept some leftovers in the fridge? I would always eat everything para daw maubos na ang mga natira at mahugasan na ang mangkok. That’s how I learned that eating is also an apostoalte for us priests…

When daddy died suddenly of a heart attack before dawn on mommy’s birthday on June 17, 2000, I kept asking him why he died on that date. Every Sunday after my Masses, I would go to the cemetery and ask him that question again and again. “Dad, there are 365 days in a year… why June 17?”

My mom was inconsolable during daddy’s wake until his first death anniversary. Part of her really died with daddy’s demise. Most like why she had a stroke six years later.

*Mommy on her wedding day, 26 April 1964.*

They have always been together in almost everything. It was dad who would wake up ahead of mom to prepare breakfast, especially coffee. And only him knows so well when my mom is ready to sip her hot coffee he had prepared; that’s the time he would go upstairs to tell her breakfast was ready.

Whenever we have visitors at home especially during fiestas and holidays, they were all praises with our food. Naturally, they praised mommy, thinking mothers cooked best. But not in our home. And the funny thing was, both of them would fall silent when our food were praised: mom would never say it was dad who cooked nor claim the accolades while dad would never speak a word about it. That’s when we the children would tell our guests our dad was the chef, adding our mom was just for sigang, paksiw and monggo. That is why during our first Christmas without dad, when I went to visit mommy at the eve to give my gifts, I saw her crying while cooking, telling me how she missed dad who would do all the cooking. From then on, I have found the best excuse why we must just order food during family gatherings at home – not only to spare mommy of the troubles cooking but to have really delicious food!

*Our family after visiting our parents last June 17 on a vacation together.*

My dad finally answered my question a few months after his death why he died on mommy’s birthday. It happened in the most strange way because I am more closer to my dad than to mommy with whom I always had a lot of misunderstandings due to her always in opposition with my plans, even my entering the seminary to become a priest.

One time we had some tampuhan blues that I decided not to come home thrice on Sundays. On the fourth Sunday after my mass as I visited daddy’s gravesite, I asked him again my question. As usual, no reply but in some moments of silence, I felt him telling me in my heart, “Nick, I died on your mommy’s birthday so that you would love her much like I have loved her.”

Suddenly, I realized my sins against her, of how I have showed her my anger until tears rolled down my cheeks.

After saying my prayers and blessing his gravesite, I headed home to visit mommy. From then on, I have tried my very best to be like dad with my mom by being more loving, more caring, more understanding and on many occasions, playing deaf to what she said.

*Like our parents, we are always together in meals.*

People say we must visit three places once in a while, namely, hospital, prison, and cemetery. Hospital so that we may realize that there is nothing more beautiful than health; in the prison for us to see that freedom is most precious; and cemetery that life is worth nothing because the ground we walk today will be our roof tomorrow.

It is the love we have for each other that gives meaning to these places that make them worth visiting. As a priest and most of all, as a son, a brother, and a friend I have realized these so true. Don’t wait for death to come. Or birthdays. Sometimes, they happen simultaneously. Just keep loving.

Now they are both gone and hopefully together in eternity, every time I bless their gravesite, I feel them telling me the same thing – love my siblings the way they loved us. Thank you for taking time to read this piece, hope all’s well with you and your loved ones.

"No one has ever seen God.
Yet, if we love one another,
God remains in us,
and his love is brought to perfection
in us" (1 John 4:12).
Amen.

High school life, married life

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 19 June 2024

*With our Grade 7 Students in our San Fernando, Pampanga campus last March.*

In my 26 years in the priesthood, the primary reason I have always objected to divorce aside from its being against the teaching of the Lord are the children. When couples separate, their children suffer the most.

Whenever I would speak to couples getting married, I always insist on this important aspect of marriage, of having children, of how this life calls for much maturity and responsibilities from husband and wife to ensure a bright future not only for them but for humanity. From them will come children and future generations. The kind of life they surely affects their children for better or for worst. And there is our future.

Marriage is not a question or a thing based on luck – the Sacrament and grace of God are not everything. Couples need to work harder and pray hardest to keep their union strong in faith, hope and love so that they would have good children who shall be matured and responsible Christians and citizens.

*Praying with our students in our main campus in Valenzuela City.*

Allowing divorce is opening the floodgates of so many abuses and excuses that will surely destroy the basic unit of the society, the family. Very often in my interaction with students from separated parents, they always have two wishes: that their parents would not separate or if still possible be reunited; and the second, how they wished they were not born to experience all pains and difficulties of having parents on the verge or already separated.

Very sad. Even tragic.

That is why the more I find meaning in my priesthood assigned in the school. Actually, it is more difficult than being in a parish but most fulfilling as I get to see my students mature and bloom, though there were times some of them got lost or went wayward in their lives.

My first assignment after ordination was as administrator-teacher of our diocesan school in Malolos for 11 years, the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) and Immaculate Conception School of Malolos (ICSM). In 2011, I literally begged our bishop to assign me to a parish as I have never experienced being a pastor. During our grand reshuffle in 2021, our new bishop assigned me anew as chaplain here at my present assignment at the Our Lady of Fatima University (OLFU) in Valenzuela and its five other campuses.

Every day in my encounters and engagements with students in the sacraments and casual talks, the more I feel my “fatherhood” – here are thousands of kids longing for a dad, a father. Many times I tease God, asking Him if this is the reason why we priests do not get married so that we could take care of somebody else’s children?!

What a joy that even for a brief moment I become a dad for many of them in my stories and teachings. And presence.

*Speaking to our elementary students after their weekly Mass in our Valenzuela campus.*

That is why I feel so glad and proud of many of my students especially from ICSB who have turned out so well as responsible dads and faithful husbands to their wives. One of them was Micah who asked me to officiate his wedding to Lery shortly before the pandemic in 2020.

The homily I prepared for their wedding was actually a review of the five important things I used to tell Lery and all my students in ICSB to have in their pocket as a man: handkerchief, money, pen, comb, and Rosary.

Here’s my homily (just click the link).

Five reminders from high school for married life

*Lery at my back in another wedding of his classmate in January 2020.*

Micah and Lery are happily married with two kids and a third coming in eight months. They all live abroad where Micah is working.

Most of his barkada are also happily married, many abroad too like him.

I send them my prayers and reflections once in a while as I remember them all in prayers, hoping their marriage will remain strong, that they – and their kids – would truly be icons of the love of God in Jesus Christ. Amen.