Ageing gracefully

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 January 2026
Photo by Ar. Philip Santiago, Basilica of the Annunciation, Israel, October 2025.

Two priests and a former nun personally known to me died in our diocese last Sunday. It was also the birthdate of the late Bishop Cirilo Almario, Jr. whom I had remembered in my two early morning Masses on that Sunday, January 11, 2026.

In those two Masses too I mentioned in my homily the retreat I facilitated first week of January with my friends about “ageing gracefully” – my own realizations since joining their ranks as senior citizens last March.

Let me elaborate those two points I have shared with them and in my homily last Sunday.

From forbes.com.

First, let us embrace our being old. Stop saying “when we get old”, pagtanda natin because we are already old. Period. Matanda na tayo.

We cannot reverse our ageing process and it is useless to have all these cosmetic manipulations like dyeing our hair black or stretching our sagging skin and removing those wrinkles.

Embrace old age. It is beautiful and wonderful because it is so good. Our Filipino word for “old” says it all – matanda – which ironically so many women hate to hear as they stress that kalabaw lang ang tumatanda. That is not true.

Our word matanda is from the root word tanda which means “sign” that is why an old person is rightly called matanda because he/she is a sign of God’s goodness, a sign of God’s mercy and love, a sign of God’s beauty and majesty.

Moreover, a matanda is a sign of wisdom and grace that is why when we were young boys, we wanted to be old by putting our dad’s eyeglasses or taste his cigarettes and beer while girls put on their mom’s make up and high heeled shoes. How funny that when we are already old, we resist to accept the fact that we strive to look young again, sometimes ending up as nagmumurang kamatis.

Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.

Technically speaking, “old” is actually harsh. Old is something about a past phase that has ran its course like being outdated. Luma in Filipino that connotes stale, passe, lacking relevance and sadly, useless. Just for display purposes. As a person, that is the one we refer to as walang pinagkatandaan. Or huklubang matanda.

To be more specific, the better English term referring to ageing gracefully is ancient that exudes with a sense of timeliness, of being perpetually relevant like the ancient ruins in Rome, Athens, and Jerusalem. Actually, some biblical experts have wanted to rename the “Old Testament” as “Ancient Testament” following this line of thinking.

Photo by author, Ephesus, Turkiye, November 2025.

Things and even persons can rightly be referred to as ancient because of their beauty still intact that inspires us and makes us wonder about life itself. They are not just old sites nor old persons that remind us of the past long gone but ancient because still lovely, “still full of sap and green” as the psalmist extolled the seniors of his time.

Persons who age gracefully like ancient sites stir our inner selves with deeper beauty and realities of life that eyes cannot see. That is perhaps the reason these days many senior men and women are so “in” and considered as attractive.

It is the same wisdom realized by St. Augustine when he wrote about God, “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you. You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.”

Being ancient -whether as a person or a thing – is something of the inside we must turn to not outside like our skin and physical body. From that inside realization and acceptance of being senior or elderly we experience the grace of ageing because we experience God still present in us, in fact loving us more as he makes as a sign or tanda of his loving presence.

Ageing gracefully is a modern virtue we need to cultivate in this age of instants that glorify youthfulness equated with usefulness. That is why when Pope Benedict XVI resigned from the Papacy in 2013, the more I have come to love and admire him. In his resignation, he taught us the importance of embracing and lovingly accepting our old age when we can no longer adequately perform our many tasks in office even in life itself. It was not a failure nor a surrender in the negative sense but more of a deep courage and trust in God that we accept our being weak and ready to come to him soon.

Photo by author, Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales, May 2025.

This brings me to my second realization since turning sigisty years old last year: corollary to embracing old age is accepting death. That is why, as seniors, let us stop saying and thinking of our coming death because we are already dying. Huwag na nating isipin yung “kapag namatay ako” dahil namamatay na nga tayo.

Being senior is doing away with those bucket lists, of thinking about things to do, places to visit before we die. We are already dying and hence, whatever you can do, do it now. There could be no more tomorrow. All we have is the present moment. Anything could happen to us, for better and for worse.

Ageing gracefully is coming to terms with life which leads us to coming to terms with death. Yes, this is easier said than done, but slowly, I am learning and loving it!

Photo by author, Bucharest, Romania, November 2025.

One of the reasons that made me decide to become a priest in the early 1990’s was the conviction that I have felt so deeply God’s love for me as a person in the many experiences I have gone through in life. I felt at that time that by becoming a priest, I could convince more people about the truth and existence of this loving God we have.

I still hold on to that but a year after turning sigisty, becoming sigisty-one in March 22, another fascinating realization I have had is how wonderful this life is. Now that I am old, the more I can boldly claim with conviction that it is good to be alive. Masarap pa rin ang mabuhay! Maganda ang buhay maski mahirap!

Accepting and embracing our ageing, our getting weak, our failing memory are all kinds of dying. And in that midst that we actually live fullest and meaningfully. I don’t know if I can write any further because I ain’t dead yet but… just in case, it was worth the trip. Amen. May you have a fruitful and fulfilling weekend ahead.

Christmas Stable, stability of mankind

Lord My Chef Christmas Eve Recipe, 24 December 2025
Photo by Ar. Philip Santiago, a mural of angels announcing the birth of Jesus Christ to shepherds in the field, Angels’ Field Chapel in Bethlehem, October 2025.

A blessed Merry Christmas, friends ad relatives, especially our followers. In our Monday’s Simbang Gabi when Mary sang her Magnificat during her Visitation of Elizabeth, we reflected how songs not only express our innermost thoughts and feelings but reveal our very person, too.

Allow me this Christmas to share with you a song I have recently heard to reflect on the meaning of Jesus Christ’s birth. The song is called “My Lord Has Come” written in 2010 by Will Todd, a renowned contemporary British composer and pianist who blends melodic classical compositions with jazz elements. Check YouTube to feel its moving music but for now, experience the sense of wonder in its inspiring lyrics.

Shepherds, called by angels,
called by love and angels:
No place for them but a stable.
My Lord has come.

Sages, searching for stars,
searching for love in heaven;
No place for them but a stable.
My Lord has come.

His love will hold me,
his love will cherish me,
love will cradle me.
Lead me, lead me to see him,
sages and shepherds and angels;
No place for me but a stable.
My Lord has come.
Photo by Ar. Philip Santiago, a mural of shepherds as first visitors to the newborn King of kings, Angels’ Field Chapel in Bethlehem, October 2025.

I learned and heard this song last week while researching for materials this Christmas. And the word “stable” struck me.

See its varied meanings. First, “stable” means firm and sturdy, unshakeable like a stable table, stable ground, and stable truth or opinion. But during this period, we know a “stable” also refers to the Nativity scene or creche which we Filipinos call as a Belen that is actually a translation of the Lord’s birthplace of Bethlehem.

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria. So all went to be enrolled, each to his own town. And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn (Luke 2:1-7).

How lovely that God manifested to us in the most humble way, being born on a manger, at a stable for animals!

And see now why Christmas is the greatest exchange gift of all time when God became human like us born in a stable so that we too may become divine like Him.

But, it is no easy exchange gift we often do in our Christmas parties when we just have to buy gifts that fall within the range of prices we have agreed upon. Jesus Christ the Son of God came not for any price that can be bought and paid by humans for He came with His whole life and being.

Picture the Christmas stable, of how the eternal entered the temporal, the infinite and perfect became flesh and bones and blood among us, so intimate with life and all the mess and chaos of living including death itself. He was born because He loves each one of us immensely.

And listen now to Will Todd telling us, “The Lord has come in a stable… anyone searching for Him – whether angels or shepherds or sages like the Magis, there’s no place except the stable.

Even for me and for us searching for stability in life, meaning in life, direction in life that can be found only in the stable where the Lord has come. How lovely!

In the silence of the darkest night of the year, amid the loud claims of everyone being the greatest and most powerful, the best and brightest, unknown to them the only true great and mighty one is in the stable.

In the gospel we heard too how the shepherds went in haste to visit the newborn Messiah in the stable, rejoicing afterwards at the great sight and good news they have found.

But, how about us today? How sad nobody cares at all to go to the Holy Mass which is actually the modern Christmas stable of Bethlehem which means “house of bread”. Jesus is the Bread of life as He preached later in life in the Gospel of John. On the eve of His death at the Last Supper, Jesus gave Himself as the Bread broken and shared for all lifetime to lead us to eternity.

How sad that we search for life’s meaning and sense in the most unstable of all instances like science and technology, new thoughts and ideas that overextend our rights without any regard for responsibilities and true freedom. If there is anything that merits haste these days, it is the things of God like the Mass and prayers and Sacred Scriptures. Not social media and all those viral and trending reels of our follies and stupidities we love to follow.

Photo by author, Christmas 2021 at Basic Education Department Chapel, OLFU-Valenzuela City.

See also the animals in the Christmas stable especially the ox and donkey who all symbolize our blindness to God who humbly came to us in the stable. Isaiah and the other prophets in the Old Testament lamented how animals particularly the ox and donkey “know” so well where to go when hungry and thirsty which is the stable while we humans wander far because we are so blinded by many things.

Christmas tells us humans to stop looking so far as Will Todd insists in his great composition My Lord Has Come inspired by our readings last night and today: it is only in Bethlehem that we find the true stable reality of life where the Son of God was born so that we now reckon time according to His birth with BC and AD because humans and civilizations do not last. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebews 13:8).

Our only stability in life is found in the Christmas stable especially when the nights are dark and long. Amen. A blessed and stable Merry Christmas to you!

Anamnesis

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 August 2025
Photo by author, St. Joseph Chapel, St. Paul Center for Renewal, Alfonso, Cavite, 20 August 2025.

As we ended our annual clergy retreat today when we remembered in the Mass a saint, Pope Pius X and a hero, Benigno “Ninoy” S. Aquino Jr. , I wish to reflect on the word “remember”, a very lovely word worth remembering always.

From the prefix “RE” that connotes repetition as in again and the root “MEMBER” that means a part, to remember literally is to make someone or something a part again. What and who we remember are those gone and away from us, a history in the past. More than mere recalling of a person, event or thing, remembering is making those absent present.

Though the philosopher Martin Heidegger rightly claimed that we humans are “beings of forgetfulness,” God actually programmed us for remembering: from infancy to childhood, our parents drilled into us to remember our name and address, the names of people around us, of things, and everything as we grew. That is why the expression “kalimutan mo na yun” is the most useless piece of advice anyone can give. It is impossible to forget, whether it is so good or so bad. What we need is to harness the power of remembering, to continue learning from the past whether good or bad because whatever is remembered for all its worth is always the best teacher anyone can have.

Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

Remembering is a power because it is a grace, a gift from God himself. When we remember, we not only time travel to the past but make it present in order to perfect us. The past cannot be changed anymore as insisted by Japanese writer Toshikazu Kawaguchi in his series of novels Before the Coffee Gets Cold.

Remembering changes the person, not the past. It is in remembering the bitter lessons of the past we learn most in life because that is when we experience healing and fulfillment. Hence, remembering is at the very core of George Santayana’s warning that whoever does not learn from history is condemned to repeat it. Remembering enables us to move on in life by finding our ways and ultimately our very selves anew especially when lost and confused.

Of God’s many gifts to us, remembering is the most unique because it is never lost at all. People who refuse to remember are the most difficult to deal with like politicians, crooks and low-lifers. And the more corrupt and evil people are, the more they are forgetful, remembering or knowing nothing at all!

God meant us to keep this gift of remembering to be always reasonable and just, or simply good and sane because it keeps us in touch with reality, making us grow and mature in his love. Actually, it is remembering that continues to operate among us despite our faltering memory or even with those afflicted with Alzheimer’s and dementia because remembering is more than keeping information and details like names of people but most of all of God’s interventions through persons and events in our lives individually and collectively that significantly made us experience joy and gladness so crucial for our growth and maturity, eventually in the achievement of our goals.

Photo by author.

On the bulletin board of our sacristy at the National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima in Valenzuela City is a laminated piece of bond paper with the Greek word “anamnesis” written in Greek.

It was personally printed and posted on Holy Thursday 2010 by the former rector and parish priest of the Fatima Shrine Msgr. Bart Santos now the Bishop of Iba, Zambales. I remember that so well because that was the first time I was assigned as an attached priest at the Fatima Shrine in June 2010 to June 2011 under Bishop Bart.

According to Bishop Bart who used to teach Sacred Scriptures in the seminary, he wanted to instill in all their servers of the Mass the value and meaning of the Eucharist as an anamnesis or remembering. I was so glad upon my return in February 2021 at the Fatima Shrine again as an attached priest while working full-time as chaplain at the Our Lady of Fatima University and the Fatima University Medical Center that the sign of Bishop Bart was still there – until now! I just hope the people here realize and still remember that word anamnesis as Bishop Bart had explained to them during the Holy Thursday Mass ten years ago.

Photo by author.

When everything seems dark in life with family and friends betraying us, when people we have helped turn against us, denying having known us, try remembering Jesus went through all these first at his Last Supper.

When you feel lost for directions in life, when you are into a burnout, when nothing seems to be working in your favor that you can’t find sparks of inspiration and zeal anymore, remember that first day when you embarked on this journey in life. Remember the people, the places and the things that bring you gladness and joy in pursuing your passion or fulfilling your mission. Most of all, remember when God called you to whatever mission he sent you.

Remembering is a form of stepping back to stop, to create a space and let God work in us as we have reflected last Monday (https://lordmychef.com/2025/08/18/steps-to-god/). This is what we need most in our selves and in our country as a people: the virtue of remembering, of making present the movements of God in our history. Ninoy Aquino did the supreme sacrifice of coming home in August 21, 1983 because he remembered the country he most loved; he remembered his call and mission to serve; he remembered the ideals and mission fought for by our heroes like Jose Rizal and Andres Bonifacio.

It is in remembering we remain anchored to our call and mission in life, both individually and communally. Without remembering, we cannot progress because we lack reference points of what we have covered, of where we are. That is why even the angels at Easter had to remind Mary Magdalene and companions, “He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you while he was still with you in Galilee…” (Lk.24:6). Most of all, let us remember always the words of Jesus at his Ascension so we may keep on pursuing our mission in him, “And remember that I am with you always until the end of time” (Matt. 28:20). May God bless you always!

From Pinterest.

Our imperfect love

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 26 May 2025
Photo by author, Northern Blossoms Farm, Atok, Benguet, 26 December 2024.

Human love is imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Many times we get disappointed with our loved ones for not loving us enough or not loving us at all when in fact, they do love us! They come in different forms like strict parents or teachers, an OFW who has to leave his/her loved ones behind for better earnings so the children can go to good schools or an eager-beaver colleague who sometimes gets to our nerves for the things he/she does for us not to irritate us but to help us actually. And yes, parents who give away their children in the belief they can have a better future if they grow up not with them.

We all want to love perfectly or be loved perfectly but that is not possible because we humans are not perfect. We err, miscalculate situations and misjudge persons. Many times, we do not understand nor comprehend situations for we cannot know everything right away nor at all.

The good news is, the more we realize the imperfections of our love, that is when we are perfected, when we become better persons, when we actually become more loving with others by being patient and understanding, kind and forgiving. Our efforts to love though imperfect shall perfect us.

Photo by author, Northern Blossoms Farm, Atok, Benguet, 26 December 2024.

It is in our imperfect love we also learn how to sacrifice and let go because we love. The beloved disciple of Jesus wrote that “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us (1 John 4:12). Every time we are bothered, when we feel guilty of not loving much or not being loved, chill. Be patient. And wait for everything to clear up. There must have been a breakdown in communication or too much presumptions on anyone’s part. Be open. Most of all, even if you felt not loved or no one loves, keep loving. For as long as we love, we grow. We mature.

Love, love, love!

It is the most potent force in the universe. We came into being because of love. We live to love. For as long as there is love, we shall not perish.

Stop loving, then we die.

Photo by author, Sakura Farm, Atok, Benguet, 26 December 2024.

When we do not love, that is when we perish because we no longer hope and believe in anyone nor anything. That is the end.

St. Paul said it perfectly, “So faith, hope, and love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13). After we have died, only love remains in heaven: we do not need faith nor hope because love is everything we believe and hope. Even those we leave behind will just keep on loving that life will continue until we all come together in eternity. Still loving.

Hence, love cannot be defined. Love is infinite and can only be described. And though it is imperfect in human terms, our expressions of love has no limits. That is why, “tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” (Lord Alfred Tennyson in 1849). Bow. To love.

Photo by author, Angels’ Hills Retreat and Spirituality Center, Tagaytay City, 18 April 2025.

Lent is the Cross of Christ

40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday after Ash Wednesday, 06 March 2025
Deuteronomy 30:15-20 + Luke 9:22-25
Why always the Cross,
Lord Jesus Christ?
Many times
I grapple not only
with myself but especially
with others at how to explain,
what to tell them
the need for your Cross
when all in our lives
has always been the cross.
Even the simple act of choosing,
of deciding
is a cross.

And yet,
we still foolishly
choose
death in the process
by avoiding your Cross,
Lord.

Moses said to the people: “Today I have set before you life and prosperity, death and doom” (Deuteronomy 30:15).

In this Season of Lent,
let me appreciate anew
the beauty and majesty,
nobility and divinity
of your Cross,
Jesus;
always looming in our lives
is your Cross
because that is where
you are always found,
that is where you stay
most of the time
to heal us,
to forgive us,
to save us.
There is always
the Cross in our lives
because it is the direction
to life,
to fulfillment,
to fruitfulness
in you, Jesus
who was the first
to suffer and die
on the Cross
for us
so we can have life.
Let us carry our Cross
to make that crossing
into life in you.
Amen.
Photo by Jens Johnsson on Pexels.com