Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 03 July 2024
Photo from The Valenzuela Times, 02 July 2024.
Honestly… how did you react to this photo published yesterday afternoon after that flash flood at McArthur Highway in Valenzuela City? Do you find it funny? Did you hit the LOL emoticon? Why?
Am I that old and conservative, or prudish, or, is it merely a simple case of generation gap that I felt sad and surprised at how almost everyone in social media last night laughed at this photo? At least, some were sincere enough to admit being jealous as they exclaimed “sanaol” but, why all the laughter?
It is better expressed in our Filipino language – pinagtawanan (laughed at) which is a world apart from nakatutuwa (joyful sight).
What is so funny if a man would carry his girlfriend on his back for her not to get wet or soaked in the flood?
So gentlemanly in fact, hindi ba? Should we not be glad that there are still knights in shining armor these days?
Others simply described it as OA or “overacting”. Maybe…
The photo is a modern gospel, a good news in this age when chivalry is said to be dead. It is so much similar with last Sunday’s gospel that said “Jesus had crossed again in the boat to the other side” (Mk. 5:21), after they went through a turbulent squall crossing the Lake of Galilee the other week. What a beautiful story last Sunday of Jesus crossing again and again not only the treacherous lake but so often crossed the streets and valleys and mountains to reach out to those sick and lost and even dead to bring them all to the side of grace and life (https://lordmychef.com/2024/06/29/jesus-crossed-seas-streets-to-lead-us-to-the-side-of-life-again-again/).
My post last night…
I love that word “cross” from which came crossing; the former if spelled with a capital C refers to the Cross of Jesus Christ that also means our daily sufferings and difficulties in life we have to accept and embrace while the former refers to the street intersection where pedestrians cross.
Every day Jesus comes to help us cross the streets of this life filled with many pains and sufferings, trials and hardships. Jesus help us cross these busy and stressful streets of daily life for us to get to the side of life and fullness through those willing to suffer and sacrifice like this student in the photo.
How sad that when someone is willing to sacrifice for a loved one, when someone is willing to help others cross the street, whether it is flooded or not that people nowadays laugh at them, calling them OA.
We are not judging anyone.
Maybe we just have to reassess ourselves daily especially in our overexposure to social media and its gadgets that have alienated us from realities of life and from being human, being a person who is a subject to be loved and cherished than object to be possessed and laughed at.
How sad that with too much media, we no longer have that feel and experience of realities.
Go to any wedding or whatever kind of ceremony and parade to see how people are foolishly glued to their camera screens recording the events without experiencing the moment at all!
That gentleman carrying his girlfriend on his back is a good news for us today that Christ is still with us in this modern age. Unfortunately, it seems that like what happened 2000 years ago, there are still some who still want Him crucified for being good and kind, even OA, with others. Have a blessed day. We’d like to hear from you too… thank you!
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday in the Thirteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 02 July 2024 Amos 3:1-8, 4:11-12 <'[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Matthew 8:23-27
Photo by author in San Juan, La Union, 25 July 2023.
Your words are weighty and terrifying today, O God as You left us with a warning - "prepare to meet your God, O Israel" (Amos 4:12); how must we prepare to meet You, O God, whom we have turned away from so often in the past? How must we prepare to meet You, O God, whose voice we have never heeded despite our hearing them?
Let us learn from nature who heeds your voice like the storm and the waves in the sea becoming quiet at Jesus Christ's command; let us learn to accept the simple laws of nature governing this world, of simply following the cause and effect pattern in everything instead of destroying it for in the end, it shall get upon us:
Do two walk together unless they have agreed? Does a lion roar in the forest when it has no prey? Does a young lion cry from its den unless it has seized something? Is a bird brought to a snare when there is no lure for it? Does a snare spring up from the ground without catching anything? If the trumpet sounds in a city, will the people not be frightened? If evil befalls a city, has not the Lord caused it? (Amos 3:3-6)
For so long, You have been most patient with us, Lord, letting us go on our own sinful ways despite all the love and graces You have showered us; You are all good, loving Father, full of mercy and forgiveness for our sins but lest we forget, there are so many sinful things we do with irreversible consequences that can unfree us, making us suffer from its dismal effects. This we pray we may realize so that when we meet You, O God, there may be justice still left for us. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday in the Thirteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 01 July 2024 Amos 2:6-10, 13-16 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 8:18-22
Photo by author, Anvaya Cove, 15 April 2024.
Glory and praise to You, God our loving Father for this brand new month of July; we have passed the first half of 2024, help us to make good of its remaining six months, most especially in finding ways to address and mitigate if not eradicate the social injustices that continue to happen among us since 3000 years ago your Prophet Amos had denounced.
Thus says the Lord: For three crimes of Israel, and for four, I will not revoke my word; because they sell the just man for silver, and the poor man for a pair of sandals. They trample the heads of the weak into the dust of the earth, and force the lowly out of the way. Son and father go to the same prostitute, profaning my holy name (Amos 2:6-7).
What a shame, O God, how this passage written in 750 BC remains still the same these days; give us the sincerity to confront our selves, to look into our own lives to see how these accusations can be thrown against us too; let us realize there can be no real love of God nor even true religion without the practice of justice and loving concern for the weak and marginalized.
Give us the will to have Jesus our priority in life in order to build a more humane and just society in this imperfect world, instead of relying on our abilities and expertise as well as comfort and ease; both Amos and Jesus have showed that doing the work of God is always other-centered, entails a lot of sacrifices and suffering so that we decrease and lose our very selves for God through others. Amen.
It’s been more than four years since the breakout of the COVID-19 pandemic that threw many of us out of sync in life, especially those planning to get married during those critical years of 2020-2022.
I had four weddings affected by the COVID-19 lockdowns in that period; three were postponed but I was able to officiate at the two weddings when reset to another dates except the first one that did not fit my schedule. The fourth wedding I was not able to officiate because I got the virus and had to be isolated.
This is the homily I delivered at one of those three weddings postponed I officiated, between Cris my former student at the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos City and Tim whom I met when they were going steady while we were all taking MA courses at UST.
More funny than that was the fact Cris and Tim have planned of getting married in 2020 but have to move it to 2021 due to the pandemic; but, when COVID still persisted that year, they finally fixed their altar date to early 2022. Alas! Just as they were all set in January 2022, the church was closed on the week of their wedding after its priests got the virus!
Cris and Tim were at a loss when their wedding would finally take place until they were offered by the parish the date February 22, 2022 after the weddings of those others postponed like them. I told them to go for it than wait further for other dates lest they in turn get the virus too!
Looking back to their wedding day, I have realized how God always finds ways in helping married couples in all their problems for as long as they are willing to cooperate. This is why we cannot allow divorce to be legalized in the country for God never fails in His grace and blessings. We just have to work on them.
From stillromancatholicafteralltheseyears.com, January 2022.
You must have heard the saying that “God writes straight crooked lines”. And today that proves so true not only with how God wrote so crooked His straight lines in your life, Cris and Tim, but even wrote in circles to make this date your wedding day – 22 February 2022!
Cris and Tim, God has always been so sure in calling you before His altar on this date, which will similarly happen again in 200 years – 22 February 2222! God writes straight crooked lines because everything in him is perfect, like numbers. Precise and exact. Like this date you never chose, 02-22-2022.
When you consulted me last month when priests here offered you this date due to their recent lockdown, right away I told you it is the most wonderful date for your wedding being the Feast of St. Peter’s Chair… St. Peter as in San Pedro like Cristopher Tabafunda San Pedro and later, Mrs. Fatima Macam San Pedro!
It was God who willed in all eternity that you, Cris and Tim, be married today — not last year, not the other week nor next week because today is the day that the Lord has made!
Cris and Tim are both very prayerful and good, practicing Catholics.
You are both good with numbers like God, a mathematician who is very precise and exact like an economist and stock trader (Cris) and a marketing and sales executive (Tim) who used to do a lot of chemical research before.
But God has better and deeper plans for you that numbers cannot count nor quantify.
God wants you to always go back to basic numbers, not to those found in equations only you two can understand or multiple digits only you can count.
Jesus said it so well in the gospel today: two is equal to one. So mathematical ba?
Photo by author, 2021.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”Matthew 19:5-6
Life is not about having the most but the least. That is where faith grows and deepens.
When we have so much in life, when we feel so sufficient, when we are so filled with things, we forget God. We stop believing in him, we believe more in ourselves.
And when we stop believing in God, we lose our faith and then, we stop loving, too. Sooner or later, we become empty and miserable.
So, be simple, Cris and Tim.
Reduce everything to the barest and simplest. Simplify, simplify, simplify as Henry David Thoreau said: “let your affairs be two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand.”
When we get complicated like our Facebook, life becomes difficult as we can’t find right away who and what matters most to us.
Kaya nga isa lang ang asawa, Cris at Tim, kasi hindi puwede marami.Hindi lang magulo. Magastos pa. Imagine kung dalawa o tatlo wedding rings? Pag isa lang, kita agad at alam na this – married na ang mamang ito na may cute na dimple o itong girl na ito na naka glasses at dalawa pa ang dimples! Hayaan ninyo sabihin ng mga makakita singsing ninyo na sayang at taken na pala siya!
You see, the lower the number, the simpler, the better. Madaling tumaya at manampalataya.
That’s faith! Parang PBA game kung saan kayo nagkakilala. And you have both experienced, walang tatalo sa faith in God ninyong dalawa!
God is greater and more than the numbers the wiz kids and supercomputers of the world can calculate and predict. His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways. He first created just one man and one woman – just two – to be one with each other in Him, and to be faithful to Him and each other.
Because the more we become faithful, the more we become loving.
That is the message of this Feast of the Chair of St. Peter which is the “Primacy of Rome” or of the Pope: it is the primacy of faith and the primacy of love together which cannot be separated.
Chair of St. Peter in Rome, from Wikipedia.
Forget all those numbers Cris and Tim, focus only in the One – God in Jesus Christ. Just focus on Jesus, always Jesus.
Love is not about counting or keeping tabs and tallies, like how many “likes” and “followers” we get in our posts.
The true measure of love is when we love without measure, when we simply love, love, love. And love.
That is why we only have one heart so we can love with all our heart. Forget Sana Dalawa ang Puso Ko. It is just a song.
When you have LQ (lover’s quarrel), who should blink first, or smile? Who should take the first move to reconcile, the first to offer the hand of peace?
Whenever lovers and couples or even friends quarrel, I always say, whoever has more love to give must be the first one to initiate reconciliation, the first to blink, or smile, the first to offer the hand of peace.
To have the most love to give and share does not mean to be better or superior than the other; to have the most love to give and share is to have more faith, to have a deeper faith the he/she is ready and willing to lose everything for the sake of the loved one.
Like Jesus Christ who gave everything for us on that Cross because of love.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday, Solemnity of the Birth of John the Baptist, 24 June 2024 Isaiah 49:1-6 ><}}}}*> Acts 13:22-26 ><}}}}*> Luke 1:57-66.80
Photo from Wikipedia, mosaic of Jesus with Mary and John the Baptist at the Hagia Sophia in Turkey.
Praise and glory to You, God our loving Father in sending us John the Baptist as Precursor of your Son Jesus Christ our Savior; on this Solemnity of his birth six months before Christmas during the summer solstice to remind us of John's vocation, "a burning and shining lamp" (John 5:35) set to decrease when the Light that illuminates the world appeared in December, the winter solstice.
Everything about John pointed to the unexpected - his conception in the womb of his old, barren mother Elizabeth, his being named not after his father Zechariah, and his life being spent in the wilderness, not in the temple to follow the footsteps of his father; most of all, his "manifestation to Israel" (Lk.1:80) was not about himself but pointed to the Christ, Jesus our Lord and Savior.
What is not unexpected, dear Father, is the connection between John and Jesus and the salvific events that have everyone filled with joy and fear at the same time for "surely your hand hand was with him" (Lk.1:66).
Photo by author, Binuangan Is., Meycauayan, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.
Open our eyes and our hearts, merciful Father, to always expect the unexpected in this life and mission, to learn to withdraw in the wilderness of our lives like John to realize that our whole being like his is directed to our relationship with Jesus the Christ.
Let us decrease
so that Jesus may increase!
Let us strive to go to the wilderness
to empty ourselves to be filled
by the Holy Spirit;
most of all,
let your words comfort us
when life becomes so difficult
in being a herald of Jesus by proclaiming
repentance and conversion (Acts 13:24):
“You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God” (Isaiah 49:3,4).
How wonderful that when I learn to expect the unexpected from You, O God, that is when I am less, Jesus becomes more in me, then truly, You are most gracious, Father through me, like John. Amen.
Photo by author, birthplace of St. John the Baptist beneath the church in his honor in Ein Karem, Israel, May 2019
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 23 June 2024
Photo by Fr. Pop Dela Cruz, Binuangan Is., Obando, Bulacan, June 2021.
We go OPM this Sunday, digging through the great decade of Pinoy rock bands of the 90’s with The Dawn’s Iisang Bangka Tayo released in 1992.
I was still outside the seminary working at GMA7-News when The Dawn rocked the local scene with their Enveloped Ideas in 1987. Unfortunately, their founder and more famous member Teddy Diaz was stabbed to death the following year on his way to visit his girlfriend in Quezon City that abruptly ended the career of a very promising musician who have unknowingly sowed the seeds for the blossoming anew of OPM with the advent of many alternative bands in the 90’s.
After leaving GMA-7 News to give my vocation a second try in the seminary, radio and music remained my two “worldly” pursuits without any plans at all of ever turning away from. And I was so glad The Dawn had continued to play music all those years while in the seminary days until I became a priest.
This is my second favorite song from them: rough and raw as they have always been with deep thoughts running through but this time in the vernacular language. What I like most with this song is its theological undertones: its calls for togetherness and unity as friends and a nation, and most of all, of communion as a church considering that is what the boat symbolizes.
The boat carrying Jesus and the disciples crossing the Lake of Galilee during a violent squall actually symbolized the Church under persecution. The Dawn’s Iisang Bangka Tayo struck the gospel chords perfectly, especially at this part midway through the song:
Dahon ng damo tangay ng hangin At di mo matanaw kung saan ka dadalhin Ngunit kasama mo ako nakabigkis sa puso mo Daluyong ng dagat ang tatawirin natin
Saan ang tungo mo mahal kong kaibigan Saan sadsadyain hanap mong katahimikan Basta’t tayo’y magkasama laging sasabayan Pinagsamaha’y nasa puso kaibigan kabarkada
Iangat natin ang layag sa umaawit na hangin Kapit-bisig tayong ang gabi ay hahawiin
Ating liliparin may harang may sibat Ating tatawirin daluyong ng dagat Pagkat kasama mo ako iisang bangka tayo Anuman ang mithiin ay makakamtan natin
It is the same message of oneness and trust that Jesus conveys in our gospel this Sunday who silently joins us in the boat to help us cross this sea of life amid storms and giant waves that can be overwhelming most of the time (https://lordmychef.com/2024/06/22/into-the-sea-of-life-love/). Most of all, Jesus and The Dawn’s Iisang Bangka Tayo remind us of the need for more love and trust with each other to overcome life’s many trials and sufferings. Here now are The Dawn… rak en roll!
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Twelfth Sunday in the Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 23 June 2024 Job 38:1, 8-11 ><}}}}*> 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 ><}}}}*> Mark 4:35-41
Photo by author, San Juan, La Union, 25 July 2023.
From examples of trees in the forest and sowing of seeds in the fields last week, our readings this Sunday situate us at the middle of the sea with a raging storm to remind us of God’s immense power and most of all, love and care for us in Jesus Christ. Right away we get that hint from our short first reading:
The Lord addressed Job out of the storm and said: Who shut within doors the sea, when it burst forth from the womb; when I made the clouds its garments and thick darkness its swaddling hands? When I set limits for it and fastened the bar of its door, and said: Thus far shall you come but no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stilled!” (Job 38:1, 8-11).
Photo by author, San Juan, La Union, 25 July 2023.
Nothing so struck humans since time immemorial as the sea that is so immense, seemingly without limits. It has been so loved yet dreaded with many literatures around the world teeming with all kinds of stories about the sea’s many mysteries that still baffle us in this age of computers and satellites. Experts say that big ships and jumbo jets are so minuscule compared with any area of the sea where they could still get lost like the missing Malaysian Airlines not too long ago.
That is the imagery of the sea, similar with life itself that is lovely to behold yet frightening with many mysteries and dangers. Life like the sea must be crossed and lived out to experience its boundless beauty, joys, and gifts waiting to be discovered by those willing to have faith in Jesus who assures us today that He had come to accompany us in crossing this great sea of life with His love and power.
A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ceased and there was great calm (Mk.4:37-39).
Photo by author, Anvaya Cove in Morong, Bataan, 15 April 2024.
“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”
Most likely we have also asked God the same question especially when everything seems to be so wrong in our lives with God seemed to be so far from us, not caring at all. That was the situation of the fictional character Job we have in the first reading. Towards the end of the book, God assured Job that as the Creator of this universe, He is in control of everything in this life. This became more real in the coming of Jesus, the Son of God, our Emmanuel or “God-is-with-us” that Mark showed in his story of Christ’s calming of the sea.
See Mark’s details as so weird and exaggerated to show us that even in the worst scenarios in life, God is present in Jesus Christ. Remember that Mark wrote his gospel account to inspire and strengthen the faith of early Christians persecuted and felt exactly like the disciples in the boat caught in a violent squall with nowhere to go except to Jesus soundly asleep in the stern on a cushion.
Both the incident at the sea and the persecution of early Christians must be so terrifying, reminding us of the times we felt the same way too in many instances in our lives like when the whole world stood still during the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Photo by author, Lake of Galilee, the Holy Land, May 2017.
This was the same gospel scene Pope Francis used in his reflections at the special Urbi et Orbi benediction in March 2020 at the start of COVID-19. That surreal scene of an empty St. Peter Square with the Pope alone limping his way to the altar was so much like this scene in the gospel. How sad that four years after crossing modern history’s stormiest sea, many have forgotten while others refuse to recognize that it was Jesus who pacified the virus that caused the pandemic.
Jesus reminds us today that He is always in the boat, silently sailing with us in this stormy sea of life. Do not expect Him to be like most stage mothers or protective parents who keep on interfering in the lives of their children especially when there are difficulties.
During a vacation in Canada more than a decade ago, I noticed the big difference between Filipino and Canadian parents when relatives brought me to experience “apple picking”. While waiting at the entrance, I observed how Canadian parents simply looked at their children playing, never intervening except when kids were hurt and started to cry. So amazing at how the parents would just smile and carry their children to comfort them, so unlike Filipino parents who acted like Secret Service agents watching, reprimanding every move of their children. Worst was when children got hurt and cried as parents scolded them! – which continues even after their children have all grown up with families of their own. Maybe we never progressed as a nation because so many of us have never really matured as individuals partly due to our “stage parents”.
Photo by author, Lake of Galilee, May 2019.
Going back to the boat caught in a violent squall in the middle of the Lake of Galillee, see the dramatic contrast of Jesus soundly asleep in the stern while His disciples were deep in anguish and fears. Like those Canadian parents I have observed, Jesus prefers to be silent during storms in life than to interfere so that we would grow and mature in our faith and prayers, becoming stronger inside and out.
Instead of frantically shouting and scrambling on what to do like the disciples in the boat when trials come our way, let us go inside to Jesus in the stern, no need to wake Him up nor speak. Simply stay, be still and be one with Him in prayers, trusting Him more than anyone.
That’s how we are transformed into better persons by letting Jesus live inside our hearts, the stern of our boat.
To let Jesus live in our hearts is to live in love of Christ despite the many storms and darkness we encounter like St. Paul who implored us in the second reading, “Brothers and sisters: The love of Christ impels us, once we have come to the conviction that one died for all; therefore, all have died (2Cor.5;14).
Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD in Infanta, Quezon, 2023.
St. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians is his most personal letter where he poured his heart out in response to the nasty talks hurled against him. Throughout this letter, we find St. Paul narrating all the trials and sufferings he endured in following Jesus that led him to experience Christ’s love in the most personal way that gave him the conviction to live in Christ, to love Christ. Hence, his call every Paulinian knows by heart, Caritas Christi urget nos.
Last Sunday, Mark portrayed God’s presence in Jesus Christ among us like the seed sown in the field that grows without us knowing how, always present among us. Today, Mark portrayed Jesus present among us in exaggerated manner like sleeping in the stern while the boat filled with many leaks crosses this sea of life in a violent storm. How interesting that in crossing the sea – on the Cross itself – Jesus reconciled us with God, with others and with our very selves so that we may pass over and cross to the other side of life and love in Christ. Let us pray:
Lord Jesus Christ, cast away our fears in this sea of life we cross filled with darkness and storms; many times, our boat is filled with many leaks of our sins but You chose to stay with us, sleeping soundly in the stern; teach us to be silent, to trust You more when the going gets rough and tough like during an exam: You are our Teacher, You know all the answers, You are silent because You want us to learn, You want us to pass. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Friday, Memorial of St. Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious, 21 June 2024 2 Kings 11:1-4, 9-18, 20 ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[>< Matthew 6:19-23
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
On this Friday, Lord Jesus Christ, there are two things I pray: give me a pure heart and eyes like a lamp.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be (Mt. 6:19-21).”
Help me realize, Jesus, that to "store up treasures in heaven" is not just to pile up a lot of good works in heaven that will be to our credit in the next life for they too can be lost when we slide down into sin and evil; rather, like in your beatitudes, give me a clean or pure heart that is like yours, that is inclined to You always; a clean heart, O Lord, is not of "doing" but of "being" and "becoming" that truly becomes a treasure, something we value most.
How sad in this world so materialistic that many believe there is nothing money cannot buy, nothing money cannot solve even though this belief is proven false all the time!
Cleanse our hearts of pride and sins, fill it with your humility, justice and love, Lord Jesus! Dwell in our hearts, reign over us!
“The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be” (Mt.6:22-23).
Give us that light and vision, Jesus to see the most essential, the most valuable in life that are beyond wealth, fame, and power; free us from the darkness and blindness of not seeing beyond material things so we may discern the real treasures, what is most valuable in this life like You and others, love and peace and joy. Amen.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 20 June 2024
Photo by author, 17 June 2024.
As a priest for 26 years, I have been a frequent visitor to cemeteries to bless parishioners, friends and relatives who have died. It was more of duties and ministry for me as a priest except for some who were dear to me.
But, when mommy passed away last month, visiting the cemetery has become something more personal with much meaning deep within, now both our parents are gone. I did not feel it when daddy died 24 years ago on mommy’s birthday. Perhaps it was partly because of the fact I had to come and visit their graves so often these past days: for the wake and burial of mommy from May 7-11, then her 40th day June 15, then again on the 17th for her 85th birthday and dad’s 24th death anniversary. Of course, we are coming back July 26 for dad’s 92nd birthday.
So, definitely I shall be coming there more often in the years to come as a son, secondary only as a priest.
Now it has become clearer to us siblings why dad died on mom’s birthday 24 years ago: so that it is more economical – matipid – for us to come and visit their gravesites. Isang puntahan na lang! Birthday at kamatayan. How I really wish and pray daily our parents are already reunited finally in eternity to enjoy each other’s company again before God.
Our parents, always together especially during meals.
My parents were not perfect couple. They quarreled, had misunderstandings like most husband and wife. But they strived so hard in loving each other despite their imperfections along with ours their children. This they practiced so well on the dining table, always eating together.
From my earliest memory until I became a priest, they have always taken their meals together. Most often, it was my dad who would always wait for my mom to be back home and be told by her personally that she had eaten somewhere in a party. That’s the only time he would really eat while my mom sat beside him, serving him while telling him stories where she had gone with her friends. Many times we would tease mommy whenever friends would pick her up to an event or socials without dad. “Maghihintay na naman ang daddy sa inyo, hindi kakain yun.” But she would tell us often the glaring truth about my dad, “ang daddy ninyo walang sinasabi sa aking ganyan; basta alam niya aalis ako. Sabayan ninyo sa pagkain.”
Our parents during their honeymoon in 1964.
Of course, dad would wait for her and most often, he was the one serving us children during meal until his retirement!
When I was in the seminary until I became a priest, every time I would come home to visit them, dad would always ask me if I had eaten. Even if I told him I have had lunch or merienda, he would still get food and serve them on the table. What can I do, especially if he cooked mechado or pochero that Sunday and had kept some leftovers in the fridge? I would always eat everything para daw maubos na ang mga natira at mahugasan na ang mangkok. That’s how I learned that eating is also an apostoalte for us priests…
When daddy died suddenly of a heart attack before dawn on mommy’s birthday on June 17, 2000, I kept asking him why he died on that date. Every Sunday after my Masses, I would go to the cemetery and ask him that question again and again. “Dad, there are 365 days in a year… why June 17?”
My mom was inconsolable during daddy’s wake until his first death anniversary. Part of her really died with daddy’s demise. Most like why she had a stroke six years later.
Mommy on her wedding day, 26 April 1964.
They have always been together in almost everything. It was dad who would wake up ahead of mom to prepare breakfast, especially coffee. And only him knows so well when my mom is ready to sip her hot coffee he had prepared; that’s the time he would go upstairs to tell her breakfast was ready.
Whenever we have visitors at home especially during fiestas and holidays, they were all praises with our food. Naturally, they praised mommy, thinking mothers cooked best. But not in our home. And the funny thing was, both of them would fall silent when our food were praised: mom would never say it was dad who cooked nor claim the accolades while dad would never speak a word about it. That’s when we the children would tell our guests our dad was the chef, adding our mom was just for sigang, paksiw and monggo. That is why during our first Christmas without dad, when I went to visit mommy at the eve to give my gifts, I saw her crying while cooking, telling me how she missed dad who would do all the cooking. From then on, I have found the best excuse why we must just order food during family gatherings at home – not only to spare mommy of the troubles cooking but to have really delicious food!
Our family after visiting our parents last June 17 on a vacation together.
My dad finally answered my question a few months after his death why he died on mommy’s birthday. It happened in the most strange way because I am more closer to my dad than to mommy with whom I always had a lot of misunderstandings due to her always in opposition with my plans, even my entering the seminary to become a priest.
One time we had some tampuhan blues that I decided not to come home thrice on Sundays. On the fourth Sunday after my mass as I visited daddy’s gravesite, I asked him again my question. As usual, no reply but in some moments of silence, I felt him telling me in my heart, “Nick, I died on your mommy’s birthday so that you would love her much like I have loved her.”
Suddenly, I realized my sins against her, of how I have showed her my anger until tears rolled down my cheeks.
After saying my prayers and blessing his gravesite, I headed home to visit mommy. From then on, I have tried my very best to be like dad with my mom by being more loving, more caring, more understanding and on many occasions, playing deaf to what she said.
Like our parents, we are always together in meals.
People say we must visit three places once in a while, namely, hospital, prison, and cemetery. Hospital so that we may realize that there is nothing more beautiful than health; in the prison for us to see that freedom is most precious; and cemetery that life is worth nothing because the ground we walk today will be our roof tomorrow.
It is the love we have for each other that gives meaning to these places that make them worth visiting. As a priest and most of all, as a son, a brother, and a friend I have realized these so true. Don’t wait for death to come. Or birthdays. Sometimes, they happen simultaneously. Just keep loving.
Now they are both gone and hopefully together in eternity, every time I bless their gravesite, I feel them telling me the same thing – love my siblings the way they loved us. Thank you for taking time to read this piece, hope all’s well with you and your loved ones.
"No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us" (1 John 4:12). Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 19 June 2024
With our Grade 7 Students in our San Fernando, Pampanga campus last March.
In my 26 years in the priesthood, the primary reason I have always objected to divorce aside from its being against the teaching of the Lord are the children. When couples separate, their children suffer the most.
Whenever I would speak to couples getting married, I always insist on this important aspect of marriage, of having children, of how this life calls for much maturity and responsibilities from husband and wife to ensure a bright future not only for them but for humanity. From them will come children and future generations. The kind of life they surely affects their children for better or for worst. And there is our future.
Marriage is not a question or a thing based on luck – the Sacrament and grace of God are not everything. Couples need to work harder and pray hardest to keep their union strong in faith, hope and love so that they would have good children who shall be matured and responsible Christians and citizens.
Praying with our students in our main campus in Valenzuela City.
Allowing divorce is opening the floodgates of so many abuses and excuses that will surely destroy the basic unit of the society, the family. Very often in my interaction with students from separated parents, they always have two wishes: that their parents would not separate or if still possible be reunited; and the second, how they wished they were not born to experience all pains and difficulties of having parents on the verge or already separated.
Very sad. Even tragic.
That is why the more I find meaning in my priesthood assigned in the school. Actually, it is more difficult than being in a parish but most fulfilling as I get to see my students mature and bloom, though there were times some of them got lost or went wayward in their lives.
My first assignment after ordination was as administrator-teacher of our diocesan school in Malolos for 11 years, the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) and Immaculate Conception School of Malolos (ICSM). In 2011, I literally begged our bishop to assign me to a parish as I have never experienced being a pastor. During our grand reshuffle in 2021, our new bishop assigned me anew as chaplain here at my present assignment at the Our Lady of Fatima University (OLFU) in Valenzuela and its five other campuses.
Every day in my encounters and engagements with students in the sacraments and casual talks, the more I feel my “fatherhood” – here are thousands of kids longing for a dad, a father. Many times I tease God, asking Him if this is the reason why we priests do not get married so that we could take care of somebody else’s children?!
What a joy that even for a brief moment I become a dad for many of them in my stories and teachings. And presence.
Speaking to our elementary students after their weekly Mass in our Valenzuela campus.
That is why I feel so glad and proud of many of my students especially from ICSB who have turned out so well as responsible dads and faithful husbands to their wives. One of them was Micah who asked me to officiate his wedding to Lery shortly before the pandemic in 2020.
The homily I prepared for their wedding was actually a review of the five important things I used to tell Lery and all my students in ICSB to have in their pocket as a man: handkerchief, money, pen, comb, and Rosary.
Lery at my back in another wedding of his classmate in January 2020.
Micah and Lery are happily married with two kids and a third coming in eight months. They all live abroad where Micah is working.
Most of his barkada are also happily married, many abroad too like him.
I send them my prayers and reflections once in a while as I remember them all in prayers, hoping their marriage will remain strong, that they – and their kids – would truly be icons of the love of God in Jesus Christ. Amen.
lordmychef.com 