Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-09 ng Mayo 2023
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 Marso 2023.
Paano nga ba
pananaligan
panghahawakan
katiyakan sa atin
ni Jesus,
"huwag kayong mabalisa"
sa dami ng sakbibi
nitong buhay
walang katapusan
di malaman hahantungan?
Ngunit kung susuriin
pagkabalisa natin
ay hindi naman
mga bagay-bagay
sa labas kungdi yaong
nasa loob
mismong sarili
ang sumisinsay
upang manalig
at pumanatag.
Nababalisa
sa pagkakasakit
hindi dahil sa hirap
at sakit kungdi
sa panahon at pagkakataong
winaldas, lahat natapon
walang naipon;
nababalisa
sa kamatayan
hindi dahil sa di alam
patutunguhan kungdi
malabo pinanggalingan
at pinagdaanan,
walang kinaibigan
ni hiningan ng kapatawaran;
nababalisa hindi sa mga nangyayari
kungdi sa mga pagkukunwari
kapalaluan di matalikuran
gayong sukol na
sa sariling kapahamakan.
Hangga't wasak
at di buo ating samahan
at ugnayan
sa sarili,
sa Diyos at
sa kapwa
lagi tayong balisa
nanghihinayang at kulang
dahil sa kahuli-hulihan
sila ating kailangan;
iyan ang kahulugan
ng mga sumunod
na salitang binitiwan
ni Jesus na sa kanya
tayo ay manalig
upang siya at ang Ama
sa atin ay manahan
ating sandigan
tunay maasahan
magpakailanman.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Fifth Week of Easter, 09 May 2023
Acts 14:19-28 ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*> John 14:27-31
Photo by author, Jesuit Cemetery, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 March 2023.
Lord Jesus Christ,
today I feel it is not enough
that we simply pray for peace;
before we could pray for peace,
let us first understand
and embrace the peace
that you give.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”
John 14:27
Dear Jesus,
in this time when the world
including our families
and very selves are beset
with tensions and conflicts,
the more we keep on praying
for peace but the more it
has become elusive; worst,
on many occasions, peace is
often used as a slogan just
for the sake of saying something
precious and important without
realizing the more peace is
cheapened and played at.
Let it be clear with us,
Jesus, that your peace is not
just the absence of war nor
of conflicts but the fruit of love
as our Church Fathers declared
at Vatican II; let it be clear with us
that your peace is not like what
the world gives based on transactions
that often favor the powerful;
let it be clear with us that your
peace entails sufferings,
of "undergoing many hardships"
(Acts 14:22) and most of all,
calls us to confront our true
selves because what troubles us
most are those moments and things
we insist more on ourselves than
surrender ourselves to you and
to others; many of our troubles
are rooted inside us making
peace improbable because
we have too much of ourselves,
without any room for others
and for you.
Teach us, Lord Jesus,
that to achieve your peace,
we have to be at home with
our true selves by accepting
our strengths and giftedness
as well as weaknesses in order
to be at home too with those
around us in their own imperfections
and talents so that in the end,
we all rely only on you, Jesus,
as we entrust ourselves to you,
our thoughts and feelings,
our plans and agenda
including our fears
so that we all
become at home
with you because
your peace
is being at home
with our true selves,
with others,
and with you.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Fifth Sunday in Easter-A, 07 May 2023
Acts 6:1-7 ><}}}*> 1 Peter 2:4-9 ><}}}*> John 14:1-12
Photo by Ms. April Oliveros, March 2023, Mt. Pulag.
From being our “gate” as the Good Shepherd last week, Jesus today introduces himself as our “home”, our dwelling by being “the way and the truth and the life”. Our scene is still at the last supper with Jesus teaching his disciples including us today with some of his important lessons expressed in words so touching and full of mysteries.
Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.”
John 14:1-3
Though the apostles were still at a loss at the meaning of the words spoken by Jesus that night, they knew and felt something so bad would happen, that life for them would no longer be the same as before that troubled them so deeply inside.
To be troubled here means more than the feeling but experience itself of confrontation with the power of evil and death, when we get that existential feeling of our mortality, when we feel so helpless in a situation, asking “paano na ito?” or “paano na kaya ako/kami?” Like the apostles that night, we too have been into similar situations of being troubled deep inside when we realize in no uncertain terms something so sweeping is happening, altering our lives “forever” like when we or a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, gets a stroke, or has to undergo a major surgery of the heart or brain, and losing a loved one.
Jesus is telling us this Sunday like on that holy Thursday evening to stand firm because these evil and death will just have momentary control over us, a passing over that is why we have to summon all our strength and courage, confidence and perseverance in him as he himself had already triumphed with his own passion, death, and resurrection.
And that is the good news! Jesus had won over all our worst fears like death. It is the gift of Easter, of the Lord’s Resurrection right there inside our hearts, already in our very core we only need to recover by abiding in him always. But before going any further, let us first confront one important lesson this gospel scene offers us: When are we really most troubled in life?
Photo by Ms. April Oliveros, March 2023, Mt. Pulag.
When we examine the many troubles we have been through, we find that more than the difficult and harsh situations we have faced were the many troubles within our very selves. What really trouble us most are not those outside us but within us. These are those little guilt feelings we used to take for granted, little details in life we used to ignore and dismiss as nothing for so long that suddenly now under our very nose as so serious, so important after all.
The most troubling experience of all is when we realize how we have wasted so many opportunities to love and be kind, to be more forgiving and understanding, when we know we have done something wrong and have done nothing to rectify it. We are troubled when outside conditions throw us into situations that make us confront not only death and evil but our very selves that suddenly, we feel unprepared and inadequate especially sickness and death that both surely come. Always.
And here is the big difference: Jesus was not surprised, was never caught unaware of his pasch because all his life he has been one in the Father and one with us. See in all four gospel accounts how Jesus had total control over everything that is why he was so prepared for his passion, death and resurrection because he never turned away from the Father and anyone in need of healing, of forgiveness, of comfort, of his presence. Jesus never turned away from his very essence, his mission which is oneness in the Father and oneness with us his beloved.
Jesus was so at home, so to speak, with himself and with the Father that he never fell into sin despite the devil’s temptations nor the scheming traps and plots of his enemy. This is what Jesus is telling us of preparing a room for us in the Father’s house, that we be at home with our true selves in the Father in him.
We are most troubled when we are not home, literally and figuratively speaking. And sadly, many times as we have experienced in this pandemic that even in our own homes we could not be at home because we are detached and away from our families and loved ones.
“In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places… Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I speak to you do not speak on my own. The Father who dwells in me is doing his works.”
John 14: 2, 10
Photo by author, Katmon Nature Sanctuary & Beach Resort, 04 March 2023.
The word “dwelling” is a favorite of John especially in this part of his gospel. For John, dwelling is more than a home but unity of Jesus and the Father as well as unity of Jesus and his disciples including us. In his prologue he spoke of Jesus as the Word who became flesh and “dwelled” among us. So beautiful an imagery of the Son of God living among us, being one with us and in us, not just physically present but through and through like going through our human experiences except sin.
To dwell is not just to reside but most of all to abide in Christ, to be united, to be one in him which he would say in the following chapter when he identified himself as the true vine and we are his branches.
Therefore, to dwell is to be one, to commune in the Lord. That is why heaven is not just a place but a condition, a being of eternal union with God where Jesus assures us of a dwelling. And because Jesus is our dwelling, our home, that is why he is also our way because he alone is the truth and the life.
Now, if anyone lives in Jesus, he/she lives in the Father too as he clarified with Philip who asked him to show them the Father and that would be enough.
How lovely that Jesus taught these lessons of unity and oneness in him and the Father and with one another in the context of the table, of a meal.
Here we find his last supper was not just a prelude to his coming Passion, Death and Resurrection but to his Ascension into heaven too when Jesus was already speaking of his entrance into a new and higher level of relating with the Father and with us his disciples, his Body as the Church.
This “dwelling” continues in our Eucharistic celebrations especially the Sunday Mass and even right in our own homes too during meal time. And there lies the challenge of our gospel this Sunday.
The first major problem in the early church came in the context of the table when “the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution” (Acts 6:1) of food. The Hellenists were the Jews who have lived outside Israel that when they returned home, they have become so alienated because of language barriers even of outlook in life. The Apostles resolved the issue by ordaining the first seven deacons.
It is interesting that the word “deacon” came from the Greek word diakonia which means “to serve at the table”. In Latin, diakonia is ministerium which is service in the table too. How lovely that to serve is actually rooted in the table found in homes!
We say home is where the heart is. In that case, God is our home. Jesus is our dwelling. We are troubled when we are not at home with God in Jesus and with our own families. Any problem at home takes priority in us too because family is important to us. How sad that some people could reject their own family without realizing that no matter what happens to us, it is still our family who would save us and stand by us in the end. This is what St. Peter’s was saying in the second reading of Jesus being the stone rejected to become the cornerstone when often we dismiss our family but in the end remain with us when our chips are down.
This Sunday, let us go home in Jesus our true home found in our own families. Home in Filipino is tahanan from the root word tahan which means to stop crying. To dwell in Filipino is manahan, from the same root too. We stop crying in our home because that is where we find security and comfort, love and acceptance, most of all, life and direction. Amen. Have a blessed week ahead!
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 05 May 2023
Homily on the occasion of the 25th anniversary of my friend and classmate,
Fr. Ed Rodriguez last 18 April 2023
Tatlong ulit tinanong ni Jesus si Pedro sa ating ebanghelyong napakinggan natin, “Simon, anak ni Juan, iniibig mo ba ako?” (Jn. 21:15-17). Hindi ko na po hihimayin ang kahulugan ng mga iyon bagkus ay hayaan ninyong ibahagi ko sa inyo tatlong pagkakataon ng pag-ibig na aking naranasan.
Una, katulad ninyo, ako man po ay nagmahal at nabigo.
That is one story of love that has the most impact on us. In fact, most love songs have this as theme like unrequited love, unfaithful love, of being unloved despite your love. And they are the most loved and popular love songs because we have experienced that when we truly love, there is always pain and hurting like rejection.
Pangalawa ay iyong iniibig ka rin ng iniibig mo. Yung mahal mo, mahal ka rin. Yun ang matamis! This is the love that has made the world go round and brought us into this world. This is the love why men and women get married because you are loved by the one you love. A very lovely kind of love that tells us may forever.
But there is a third occasion of love I just realized lately, shortly before we celebrated our 25th anniversary of ordination to the priesthood. It is the kind of love we all experience but many times we are not aware of. Worst, it is the love we always reject.
Ito yung minamahal ka na nga, ayaw mo pa!
I found this while counseling adoptive parents who complain of how their adopted children go wayward in life, wasting their lives and their wealth because what prevails over them is the rejection they have experienced from their biological mother who gave them away for adoption. They could not get over that fact and in the process, fail to appreciate the love lavished upon them by their adoptive parents. It does happen too to many kids these days who reject the love their parents shower them, complaining a lot without realizing how they are so loved. Many times, we are not aware of the many blessings we have in life, of being so loved by God and others without us even knowing it.
This love is most especially true to us priests too. As we neared this date, I have realized in my prayers how much God loves me with the many graces he has been giving me which I am not even aware of! And yes, there were times I have rejected his immense love in my many moments of sin.
This love of God is what we always reject, the love we could not accept because what we see more are our weaknesses and shortcomings, failing to see and realize God’s immense love that covers a multitude of our sins and defects.
This love is the most powerful and most mysterious of all when affirmed especially by us priests, enabling us to do so many things in the name of God like building communities and building up lives, not just building structures and edifices.
This love of God is the reason we are rejoicing today, celebrating 25 years in the priesthood of my classmate and friend Fr. Ed who has embraced and affirmed this love God poured upon us on April 28, 1998 at the Malolos Cathedral.
We can only truly celebrate anniversaries, whether priesthood or wedding, if we continuously affirm the love bestowed upon us by God, shared and nurtured by you our parishioners as well as by your spouse. That is why Jesus had to ask Peter thrice the question “do you love me?” because before we can ever follow Jesus, we must first of all love him. To love Jesus is to first affirm and embrace that love he has for us no matter how imperfect we may be.
Notice that a person who loves is always looking good, always radiant with love. This we see also in priests who are filled with joy in the ministry as seen first in their cleanliness and orderliness. Malinis si Father di lamang sa sarili kungdi pati sa mga damit, gamit at parokya. May amirol ultimo mga purificator, corporal at finger towel. Palaging naka-sapatos sa Misa. Maayos ang buhok. At hindi humaharap kanino man ng marumi o di nakabihis ng maayos. In him we find exemplified that elementary school lesson that “cleanliness is next to godliness”. And it is not just being clean outside but also inside.
When we love, we always go near the one we love. That is the first sign of love, a desire to get closer with the one we love. That is why if we really love God in the same manner we love others, we make every move to get close to him in prayer primarily. A priest who loves God, who loves his flock, who loves his vocation is first of all a man of prayer. Everything in the ministry and person of a priest flows from his prayer life. And you know very well when a priest does not pray.
The more a priest prays and gets nearer to Jesus, the more he is united in Christ’s sufferings. No wonder that when Jesus suffered and died on the Cross, there stood by his side were his Mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary and the “beloved disciple” because they were the ones who truly loved him.
When there is love, there is nearness. That is when sharing and oneness happen. When we love, we share in everything, especially our beloved’s pains and hurts. Before we can share in anyone’s joy and glory, we must first of all share in their pains and sorrow. That is the love of a priest. Being one with Christ, one in Christ at the Cross. That is why a priest is a friend to everyone, the rich and poor alike, the young and old alike, the sick and healthy, yung maganda at pangit, mabango at mabaho. People who love always share, are always one with others in their love and pains, victory and failures, weakness and strength.
All the more with us priests who share our lives with you as you too share your lives with us. Together we grow nearer to Christ on the Cross leading to Easter. However, it is not enough in love that we get near or close to our beloved like Jesus.
If we truly love, we must be obedient to show how far, how deep can we go with our beloved especially in their sufferings. St. Paul described this obedience of Jesus Christ to the Father even to death in a beautiful hymn in his letter to the Philippians as a process of kenosis, of self-emptying. This the Lord showed after their last supper when he washed the apostles’ feet. St. John beautifully introduced the scene by telling us, “”He (Jesus) loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end” (Jn.13:1).
Love cannot be defined. It has no boundaries. Most of all, love is always a packaged deal, all inclusive! Like any man and woman getting married who vowed to love each other “in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer until death do us part”, we your priests also vowed before the Bishop to love Jesus without measure by being celibate, poor, and obedient. Very understandable that priests have to be celibate and poor like Jesus; but, most of all like the Lord, priests take the vow of obedience too to prove the “breadth, length, depth, and height” (Eph. 3:18-19) of our love for Christ, his Church, and to everyone even enemies because it is very difficult to obey even to those we love after all.
How lovely that in Filipino, the word for obedience is pagsunod; an obedient person is masunurin, sumusunod.
It is also the word for following, pagsunod. An obedient person is one who follows because he loves, no matter how difficult it may be.
Now we can see the whole picture of that beautiful conversation of the Lord and Peter at the shore of Lake Tiberias: Jesus asked him thrice, “do you love me?” and after getting Peter’s “yes, I love you Lord”, Jesus described the apostle’s coming suffering and death before telling him, “Follow me” (Jn. 21:18-19).
From loving to suffering and finally, following. Everything begins in love, is sustained by love when there is suffering and following. Sometimes I ask couples if they say “I love you” to each other daily. Most of them would answer me with a question, “kailangan pa po ba yun, Father? Understood na po iyon.” Really?
Many times, we feel afraid, scared to say “I love you” because we know we do not love that much. And most terrified when confronted with the question “do you love me?” because deep inside, we know we have not truly loved. Do not worry. Do not be afraid. Just keep on loving no matter how imperfect you may be because love removes fear.
Most of all, Jesus knows that very well as Peter had said, “you know everything, you know I love you”. Human love is always imperfect. Only God can love us perfectly. But like Peter, in our unworthiness and defects, let us still say in words and in deeds, “you know everything Lord, you know that I LOVE YOU.”
My dear friends, Jesus is asking us every day the same questions he asked Simon Peter. To love Jesus is to love his Church, including his representative, his priest. Love Fr. Ed in Christ with your prayers and support. Give him the time and space to get nearer to Jesus in prayer and loving service to you. Keep Fr. Ed closest to Jesus. Not to you.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Fourth Week of Easter, 05 May 2023
Acts 13:26-33 ><)))*> + <*(((>< John 14:1-6
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.
Thank you very much,
Lord Jesus Christ
for the assurance
"Do not to let
your hearts be troubled.
You have faith in God;
have faith also in me.
In my Father's house
there are many dwelling places.
If there were not, would I have
told you that I am going
to prepare a place for you?"
(John 14:1-2).
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you, Lord Jesus!
We pray for those whose hearts
are so troubled these days:
those who will undergo surgery
especially in the heart and
in the brain; parents worried of
their sick children or children
who have gone wayward, lost
in life despite the love they
have showered them;
spouses taking care of their
sick husband or wife;
those of us going through
anxiety or panic attacks
for so many reasons that
are often not valid at all:
Lord, we are so troubled
with everything because
so often we do not dwell
in you, our true home!
Many times, we are troubled
because we do not abide
or dwell in you with each other
when some of us have suddenly
turned cold and distant,
unfaithful or feeling betrayed
and taken for granted.
Let us be present, Lord,
in you in others;
let us serve in love.
Loving God is a
continuous service
of being present
with others,
especially our family
and friends.
Help us renew our ties,
our dwelling in you,
Lord Jesus, God's
"begotten Son" (Acts 13:33)
by continuing this journey
of loving service in you
for you are "the way
and the truth
and the life" (Jn. 14:6).
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday in the Fourth Week of Easter, 04 May 2023
Acts 13:13-25 ><}}}*> + ><}}}*> + ><}}}*> John13:16-20
O Lord Jesus Christ,
how lovely that you taught
us how to lovingly serve you in
others by washing the feet
of your disciples to show
that service is in the context
of a table gathering,
of a meal of family
and friends.
When Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet, he said to them: “Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master not any messenger greater than the one who sent him. If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.”
John 13:16-17
Service which is
ministerium or ministry
in Latin and diakonia in
Greek both connote
"table service",
serving in one's little
way at home (oikos),
an expression of your "dwelling"
Lord Jesus in the Father
and of your "dwelling" in us,
of our "dwelling" in God in you
with others;
how lovely, indeed,
that serving is directly
related with the table found
in home or dwelling so that,
therefore, to serve means to be
at home, to dwell in God,
to dwell with others in Christ;
furthermore, service is
to be rooted
in our home,
in our family
who is God himself
ultimately as St. Paul
explained today in the
first reading!
Help us realize this,
Lord Jesus, that to serve
is not to do something so big
for others, something so
spectacular for everyone to see;
to serve is simply to be present
with our loved ones, with others
in facing life's so many challenges;
to serve, O Lord, is to continually
dwell in you,
to find and recognize you
in each other as your
indwelling, your home
who must be respected
and honored as a person,
a brother and a sister
in you; being present
with another is service
in itself.
Of what use are all
our efforts in serving
those far if we cannot
even look at those near us
in their eyes
to recognize them
as your indwelling too?
Let us be at home in you
and with you, Jesus,
so we may be at home too
with others.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Feast of Sts. Philip & James the Less, Apostles, 03 May 2023
1 Corinthians 15:1-8 ><))))"> + ><))))"> + ><))))"> John 14:6-14
Photo by author, sunrise at Katmon Nature Sanctuary & Beach Resort, Infanta, Quezon, 04 March 2023.
Thank you, dearest Lord Jesus Christ
for the gift of two Apostles whose
feast we celebrate today,
St. Philip and St. James the Less;
thank you in giving us examples
to personally be near you,
to be one with you
and to be one in you.
How lovely it is to recall
when Philip along with Andrew
approached and asked you
where you stayed and you told them
to "come and see"; what they saw
and experienced must be so wonderful
that Philip was so convinced in
calling Nathanael to come and see you
whom he had recognized as the Messiah.
In being your apostles,
Philip and James remind us
of the need to be close
and familiar with you to
discover your true identity,
to enter into a personal contact
with you by listening, responding
and communing in you Jesus daily,
of the need to dwell in you always.
During your last supper,
you expressed clearly how
the word "dwelling" means -
intimacy and oneness in the Father
in you and with one another also
in you, dear Jesus.
Your cousin James who eventually
became the bishop of Jerusalem
practiced this meaning of dwelling
in you by working to resolve the
the tensions among the Jewish
and Hellenist converts to
Christianity; how beautiful that
the early Church lived in
harmony with each other,
rooted in you, Jesus,
our home,
our dwelling.
Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 02 May 2023
Reflections on the occasion of my 25th year in the Priesthood
With our Bishop, Most Rev. Dennis C. Villarojo, DD after our anniversary and his birthday Mass in his private chapel; from left Fr. Romy Sasi, Fr. Arnel Camacho, Fr. Leonard Hernandez, the Bishop, Fr. Ed Rodriguez, and me. Not in photo was Fr. Joshua Panganiban who was sick and another classmate who had left the ministry more than five years ago. Photo by Fr. Leonard.
I first entered the seminary as a second year high school in 1979. When we were about to graduate in 1982, I was told to leave the seminary after failing admission to San Carlos Seminary due to the unfavorable results of my psychological exam. It was a very painful experience for me. It is only now on my 25th year of priesthood that I am coming to terms with that dark episode in my life. In fact, it is only now that I can admit it unashamed.
Making it doubly hard for me was when San Carlos Seminary Prefect of Discipline Msgr. Sunga refused to tell me the findings in my psychological exam except I would find it out as I moved on in life. And I think, I have found the reason. “It is the Lord!”
My classmates from UST AB Journalism class of 1986, from left, Lito Zulueta, Dante Santiago, Ellen Jurado-Cobarrubias, front Marie Ann, Luz Lopez Urquiola, Bel De Leon, beside me, Pia Pajarillo-Bantolo, Vilma Capellan, Rose Munoz-Landicho and Ross.
From that experience, I have realized that Christ comes to us even in the darkest moments of our lives. It is often when we have nothing, when we are empty that we are abundant in Christ. It is a mystery that continues to unfold until now! Difficult to explain fully. What was a setback and a dark spot for me before, that failure in my psychological exam has become more of a blessing later to me.
From the seminary, I went to the University of Sto. Tomas to pursue my first love, journalism. Everything happened so fast from UST where I had the chance to join the staff of the Varsitarian, covering the sports beat.
For my internship program, I trained at GMA-7 News to explore broadcast news. Immediately, I was amazed with the speed and timeliness of broadcast news with the constant clacking and ringing or sometimes whining of the UPI and PNA telex machines either from breaking news or when they ran out of newsprint reels. Luckily after graduation in 1986, I was hired by Ms. Tina Monzon-Palma as radio news writer for DZBB-AM and DWLS-FM.
With my co-staffers at the Varsitarian of UST, from left, Alane Ty, Jenny Bartolome, Sr. Gina Kuizon, Mother superior of RGS who was the assistant of Ms. Jesselyn G. Dela Cruz our Asst. Publications Director, Lito Zulueta of Inquirer, at the back are Romy the husband of Mam Jess and Jun Carnecer.
From a news writer in 1986, I became a reporter in 1988 covering the police beat on the night shift until 1990 when Ms. Jessica Soho recommended me to replace her in the the military/defense she used to cover after she was promoted to having a regular morning show, “Kape at Balita”.
I refused the position because I was so afraid of failing to measure up to Jessica’s stature but most of all, I felt not qualified of not having the voice for broadcast news. Yes, I have never wanted to be an “on-cam” reporter because I do not have the broadcast voice. Got no problem with that. That is why my application at GMA-7 was for a news writer. Again, it was the Lord I moved to become a police reporter at that time.
It is funny how I have always refused tasks that put me at the forefront since my GMA-7 days as a result of that “psych exam” in high school. Since college, I have found myself working best behind the scenes and behind the camera, working in hiddenness.
And yes, most of all, for lack of self-confidence. That is why I could not also believe when I felt God calling me to the priesthood again! And when I have become a priest, I have always wanted to be sent into the far-flung areas unnoticed but God would always bring me to major assignments like first, our diocesan school beside the Malolos Cathedral and now as chaplain of Our Lady of Fatima University with six campuses and two Medical Centers!
Me in our old newsroom filing my report after the graveyard shift 1989; photo by Mr. Jack Taylaran.
Going back to my vocation story… Every time I moved up in GMA-7 News, I would feel a reawakening or a resurging of my vocation. In the midst of the perks of the job plus the “celebrity” status, that was when I felt empty and unfulfilled! Something was missing in my life at the beginning I could not figure out. Tried to find fulfillment in everything including relationships but, I still felt empty. In fact, my vocation to the priesthood “pestered” me most when I was into relationships, feeling so praning with a voice within asking me “paano pagpapari mo?” As a result, I tried going back to prayers, then to Sunday Masses that slowly gave me some sense of fulfillment and peace within.
But after covering the December coup attempt of 1989 I felt something so strange deep within me: the more I felt empty within. Despite the adrenalin rush of covering the bloodiest coup attempt in our history, the thoughts of the priesthood would always cross my mind even without my thinking. It happened again the following year during coverage of the July 1990 earthquake. I was not feeling contented with my life. All I felt was a deeper longing for God and spiritual things like serving the people not just as a reporter. I felt God calling me to something more than covering the news but proclaiming the good news of Christ.
On my first day off after the July 1990 earthquake, I went to see my former minor seminary rector, Fr. Memeng Salonga for spiritual direction. He told me what I was feeling could be a vocation to the priesthood. My plan at that time was to wait for about five years before deciding for the priesthood. What if I were wrong again like what happened when I applied to San Carlos Seminary? Most of all, I had no more plans of becoming a priest. And I thought of running away from God like the Prophet Jonah, without realizing I ended up exactly like him!
It happened in January 1991 when it was my turn to join then Armed Forces chief Gen. Lisandro Abadia in his inspection of troops in northern Luzon. On our last stop at Laoag airport, one of the tires of our plane exploded upon landing!
It happened at the right side of the plane where I was seated near the window. Instinctively on seeing and hearing the explosion, I ducked my head down and braced myself for impact while deep inside me, I was frantically praying in silence to God, telling him, “magpapari na po ako, magpapari na po ako!”
That is why Jonah is my favorite character in the Old Testament as I felt like him inside the belly of PAF’s Fokker plane in 1991 trying to escape God’s call to the priesthood.
My GMA-7 colleagues, from left, JJ Jimeno, Jimmy Gil, Boy Sonza, Jun Fronda, Atty. Dan de Padua, Kelly B. Vergel de Dios, Marissa Flores, Jessica Soho, and Ben Cab of PNA.
When we got back to Manila late that afternoon, everybody was congratulating me, saying I could be the next Jessica Soho as I figured out in a near-fatal accident with the Chief-of-Staff. Behind my smiles was a firm resolve inside to finally follow Jesus. Weeks after Mt. Pinatubo spewed smokes in March, I gave my letter of resignation to Ms. Palma and simply told her, I was going back to the seminary to give my vocation a second chance. Mt. Pinatubo would finally erupt on June 12, 1991 when I was already inside the seminary.
My first year in the seminary, 1991, after resigning from GMA-7 News.
Life was not easy in the seminary. Temptations to leave the seminary and go back to work were most tempting during my first three years as I knew already where to go, what to do in life. Maybe about three times I have tried leaving the seminary while I was constantly warned of being sent out too!
The Portuguese have a saying that “God writes straight crooked lines.” True. Nine years after leaving the seminary in high school, I went back to the seminary in 1991 eventually being ordained in 1998. Now 25 years as a priest, I thank God for this most precious gift of priesthood. It is very difficult but most fulfilling.
As a priest and an individual, I have realized that if there are 8-billion people in the world, there are also 8-billion kinds of love God has specifically for each one of us. God loves us in the most personal manner. It is the greatest mystery in life we would never be able to solve because it is insolvable. We just have to live on it, be wrapped in his mystery that once in a while, like the beloved disciple amid the darkness of dawn, we would have glimpses of him, making us shout “It is the Lord!” Thank my dear friends for showing me always the Lord. Hope and pray you too have seen the Lord in me! God bless!
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Memorial of St. Athanasius, Bishop & Doctor of the Church, 02 May 2023
Acts 11:19-26 ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> John 10:22-30
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 22 March 2023.
God our loving Father,
fill us with your grace of
encouragement;
give us the grace to
encourage people especially
those discouraged to move
on with life,
those discouraged by setbacks
and other disappointments
in life,
those discouraged by sickness,
by poverty, by so many other
reasons that they lose hope
and trust in you.
Like the Apostle Barnabas
whose name means
"son of encouragement",
may we bring encouragement
to others especially in times of
uncertainties, of sufferings,
and difficulties; most of all, like
Barnabas who went out of his way
to look for Saul to bring him to
the Church, may we search for those
who have opted to stay out from our
circles to encourage them to join
the mainstream, to be involved in
spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ,
especially his truths now under
attack from people promoting modern
trends of heresies.
Gift us with the conviction and
clarity of St. Athanasius who
fought Arianism with such vigor and
passion until his death.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Feast of St. Joseph the Worker, 01 May 2023
Genesis 1:26-2:3 ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[>< Matthew 13:54-58
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2023.
Glory and praise to you,
God our loving Father
in giving us a share
in your work in making
this world a better place;
despite our sinfulness and
turning away from you
in the time of Adam and Eve,
you still call us to participate
in your work of holiness
by calling St. Joseph to
marry the Blessed Virgin
Mary, the Mother of your Son
and our Lord Jesus Christ.
Despite the difficult situation
and work ahead of him,
St. Joseph obeyed you,
working in silence,
doing your will,
taking care of Jesus and Mary
that in his work,
people recognized
Jesus!
Jesus came to his native place and taught the people in their synagogue. They were astonished and said, “Where did this man get such wisdom and mighty deeds? Is he not the carpenter’s son?”
Matthew 13:54-55
Like St. Joseph,
may we not find only
the labor and amount
of work to be done
in our tasks and jobs
but most of all,
that we may find
you in Jesus Christ,
the very meaning of
our life and work.
Amen.
lordmychef.com 