Ageing gracefully

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 January 2026
Photo by Ar. Philip Santiago, Basilica of the Annunciation, Israel, October 2025.

Two priests and a former nun personally known to me died in our diocese last Sunday. It was also the birthdate of the late Bishop Cirilo Almario, Jr. whom I had remembered in my two early morning Masses on that Sunday, January 11, 2026.

In those two Masses too I mentioned in my homily the retreat I facilitated first week of January with my friends about “ageing gracefully” – my own realizations since joining their ranks as senior citizens last March.

Let me elaborate those two points I have shared with them and in my homily last Sunday.

From forbes.com.

First, let us embrace our being old. Stop saying “when we get old”, pagtanda natin because we are already old. Period. Matanda na tayo.

We cannot reverse our ageing process and it is useless to have all these cosmetic manipulations like dyeing our hair black or stretching our sagging skin and removing those wrinkles.

Embrace old age. It is beautiful and wonderful because it is so good. Our Filipino word for “old” says it all – matanda – which ironically so many women hate to hear as they stress that kalabaw lang ang tumatanda. That is not true.

Our word matanda is from the root word tanda which means “sign” that is why an old person is rightly called matanda because he/she is a sign of God’s goodness, a sign of God’s mercy and love, a sign of God’s beauty and majesty.

Moreover, a matanda is a sign of wisdom and grace that is why when we were young boys, we wanted to be old by putting our dad’s eyeglasses or taste his cigarettes and beer while girls put on their mom’s make up and high heeled shoes. How funny that when we are already old, we resist to accept the fact that we strive to look young again, sometimes ending up as nagmumurang kamatis.

Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.

Technically speaking, “old” is actually harsh. Old is something about a past phase that has ran its course like being outdated. Luma in Filipino that connotes stale, passe, lacking relevance and sadly, useless. Just for display purposes. As a person, that is the one we refer to as walang pinagkatandaan. Or huklubang matanda.

To be more specific, the better English term referring to ageing gracefully is ancient that exudes with a sense of timeliness, of being perpetually relevant like the ancient ruins in Rome, Athens, and Jerusalem. Actually, some biblical experts have wanted to rename the “Old Testament” as “Ancient Testament” following this line of thinking.

Photo by author, Ephesus, Turkiye, November 2025.

Things and even persons can rightly be referred to as ancient because of their beauty still intact that inspires us and makes us wonder about life itself. They are not just old sites nor old persons that remind us of the past long gone but ancient because still lovely, “still full of sap and green” as the psalmist extolled the seniors of his time.

Persons who age gracefully like ancient sites stir our inner selves with deeper beauty and realities of life that eyes cannot see. That is perhaps the reason these days many senior men and women are so “in” and considered as attractive.

It is the same wisdom realized by St. Augustine when he wrote about God, “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you. You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.”

Being ancient -whether as a person or a thing – is something of the inside we must turn to not outside like our skin and physical body. From that inside realization and acceptance of being senior or elderly we experience the grace of ageing because we experience God still present in us, in fact loving us more as he makes as a sign or tanda of his loving presence.

Ageing gracefully is a modern virtue we need to cultivate in this age of instants that glorify youthfulness equated with usefulness. That is why when Pope Benedict XVI resigned from the Papacy in 2013, the more I have come to love and admire him. In his resignation, he taught us the importance of embracing and lovingly accepting our old age when we can no longer adequately perform our many tasks in office even in life itself. It was not a failure nor a surrender in the negative sense but more of a deep courage and trust in God that we accept our being weak and ready to come to him soon.

Photo by author, Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales, May 2025.

This brings me to my second realization since turning sigisty years old last year: corollary to embracing old age is accepting death. That is why, as seniors, let us stop saying and thinking of our coming death because we are already dying. Huwag na nating isipin yung “kapag namatay ako” dahil namamatay na nga tayo.

Being senior is doing away with those bucket lists, of thinking about things to do, places to visit before we die. We are already dying and hence, whatever you can do, do it now. There could be no more tomorrow. All we have is the present moment. Anything could happen to us, for better and for worse.

Ageing gracefully is coming to terms with life which leads us to coming to terms with death. Yes, this is easier said than done, but slowly, I am learning and loving it!

Photo by author, Bucharest, Romania, November 2025.

One of the reasons that made me decide to become a priest in the early 1990’s was the conviction that I have felt so deeply God’s love for me as a person in the many experiences I have gone through in life. I felt at that time that by becoming a priest, I could convince more people about the truth and existence of this loving God we have.

I still hold on to that but a year after turning sigisty, becoming sigisty-one in March 22, another fascinating realization I have had is how wonderful this life is. Now that I am old, the more I can boldly claim with conviction that it is good to be alive. Masarap pa rin ang mabuhay! Maganda ang buhay maski mahirap!

Accepting and embracing our ageing, our getting weak, our failing memory are all kinds of dying. And in that midst that we actually live fullest and meaningfully. I don’t know if I can write any further because I ain’t dead yet but… just in case, it was worth the trip. Amen. May you have a fruitful and fulfilling weekend ahead.

God in our many transitions

Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul, 12 August 2025
Tuesday in the Nineteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year I
Deuteronomy 31:1-8 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Matthew 18:1-5, 10, 12-14
Photo by author, the Grotto in Baguio City, February 2019.
How I love your words today,
Lord Jesus Christ;
we all remain little children
after all; though like the Twelve
we often debate on "who is the
greatest", in the end, we remain
that little child you called
and placed in their midst.

Yes, Jesus,
we remain like children -
weak and fearful
especially in old age
when we prefer to remain
in our "comfort zones" yet,
like Moses in Jordan,
time catches on us when we
have to go - whether for good
or not - with our many transitions
in life.

Then Moses summoned Joshua and in the presence of all Israel said to him, “Be brave and steadfast… It is the Lord who marches before you; he will be with you and will never fail or forsake you. So do not fear or be dismayed” (Deuteronomy 31:7, 8).

Lord Jesus,
as I age and get old and weak,
the more I doubt,
the more I am afraid than ever;
indeed,
we all remain
like little children
before you;
fill me with more courage
to step forward in you
when my sight grows dim,
my muscles ache
and joints weaken
in life's journey;
teach me to trust more
the younger generation as they
take charge from us in this life;
let me be more silent
and deeply aware of your presence
in life's many transitions
that continue to happen
as we advance in age;
deepen our faith and hope
in you, Lord
for you march ahead of us,
never forsaking us,
nor failed us.
Amen.

Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Our Lady of Fatima University
Valenzuela City
(lordmychef@gmail.com)
Photo by author, Tam-Awan Village in Baguio City, February 2019.

Accompany me, Lord

Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul, 11 July 2025
Friday, Memorial of St. Benedict, Abbot, Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time
Genesis 46:1-7, 28-30 <*{{{>< + ><}}}*> Matthew 10:16-23
Photo by Alex Dos Santos on Pexels.com
For those still moving places,
changing careers,
pursuing new love, hobbies
and interests;
for those in their senior years
embarking on new journeys
in life,
for those who have finally
decided to leave their
"comfort zones" to dare
live life authentically,
let us learn from
Jacob, aka, Israel:

Israel set out with all that was his. When he arrived at Beer-sheba, he offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. There God, speaking to Israel in a vision by night, called, “Jacob! Jacob!” He answered, “Here I am.” Then he said: “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for there I will make you a great nation. Not only will I go down with you; I will also bring you back here, after Joseph has closed your eyes.” (Genesis 46:1-4)

Photo by author, Egypt, May 2019.
Thank you, dear God
our loving Father in calling us
and sending us still to missions
despite our age
and unworthiness;
just be patient with us.
Accompany us in this
new journey we take in life;
be our companion.
Thank you, dear God
our loving Father in believing
in us,
in trusting us
after all these years of
hiding and running away from you;
keep us faithful
to your call and direction.
Thank you, dear God
most of all for Jesus,
in sending him to us
who commissioned us to be
like "sheep in the midst of wolves";
enlighten our minds
and our hearts
with your Holy Spirit
so we may be "shrewd as serpents
and simple as doves"
(Matthew 10:16)
in this world that values
youth and technology,
forgetting persons to be loved
and cared
and cherished
like you.
Like St. Benedict who in his
old age continued to follow you
in new directions in his life
and ministry,
give us the courage
to do the same
for your greater glory.
Amen.

St. Benedict,
Pray for us.

Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Our Lady of Fatima University
Valenzuela City
VATICAN CITY, VATICAN – MAY 08: Faithful in St. Peter’s Square participate in the first blessing of Pope Leo XIV immediately after the white smoke on May 08, 2025 in Vatican City, Vatican. White smoke was seen over the Vatican early this evening as the Conclave of Cardinals took just two days to elect Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, who will be known as Pope Leo (Leone) XIV, as the 267th Supreme Pontiff after the death of Pope Francis on Easter Monday. (Photo by Ivan Romano/Getty Images)

Saan ka galing, saan ka pupunta?

Lord My Chef Daily Recipe, Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Sacred Heart Novena Day 9, 26 June 2025
Detalye ng painting ng Sacred Heart of Jesus sa Visitation Monastery, Marclaz, France mula sa godongphoto / Shutterstock.

Huling araw ng ating pagsisiyam sa Dakilang Kapistahan ng Kamahal-Mahalang Puso ni Jesus. Pinangakuan kahapon ng Diyos si Abram na magiging ama ng lahat ng bansa, na magiging kasing dami ng mga bituin sa langit kung gabi ang kanyang mga anak subalit matanda na siya ay wala pa rin silang anak ni Sarai.

Nag-magandang loob si Sarai at sinabi kay Abram na tabihan ang alipin niyang si Agar upang magkaanak sa kanya. Hindi nga nagtagal ay nagdalantao si Agar mula kay Abram at dito nagbago ihip ng hangin. Nagmalaki at hinamak ni Agar ang kanyang amo na si Sarai kaya’t nagalit siya at nagsumbong kay Abram.

Tulad ng sino mang mister, walang nagawa si Abram sa pagkagalit ni Sarai kaya sinoli niya sa kanya ang alipin niyang si Sarai. Gumanti at pinahirapan ni Sarai ang kanyang aliping si Agar na noon ay nagdadalang-tao ng anak ni Abram hanggang sa maglayas.

Pinagmalupitan ni Sarai si Agar, kaya ito ay tumakas. Sinalubong siya ng anghel ni Yahweh sa tabi ng isang bukal na nasa ilang. Tinanong siya, “Agar, alipin ni Sarai, saan ka nanggaling at saan ka pupunta?” “Tumakas po ako sa aking panginoon,” sagot niya. “Magbalik ka at pailalim sa kanyang kapangyarihan,” wika ng anghel. At idinugtong pa: “Ang mga anak mo ay pararamihin, At sa karamiha’y di kayang bilangin” (Genesis 16:6b-10).

Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales, 15 Mayo 2025.

Maraming pagkakataon sa buhay katulad tayo ni Sarai: sa pagmamagandang loob natin, madalas napapasama pa tayo. Inaabuso ng ilan kabutihang loob natin. Kasi rin naman, madalas tayo pabigla-bigla sa pagdedesiyon lalo na kung pinanginigbabawan tayo ng kapangyarihan na sa una tingin natin ginagamit natin sa kabutihan ngunit di alintana masamang epekto sa ilan.

Sa gitna ng lahat ng ito, naroon pa rin kabutihan ng Diyos. Mabuti na lang na hindi natin siya katulad dahil ang gawi natin kapag sumablay plano natin ay magsisihan.

Patas ang Diyos sa lahat. Kasi mapagmahal siya. Sa halip na sisihin tayo na dahil tayo naman palagi may kagagawan ng problema natin, humahanap siya palagi ng solusyon. Nakita ng Diyos na nakawawa si Agar bagama’t inabuso niya kagandahang loob ni Sarai. Wala siyang kapangyarihan, napakahina bilang alipin. At pagkatapos ay nagdadalantao. Kaya sa kanyang lungkot at hirap ay naglayas at nakita kanyang sariling nag-iisa, nawawala at takot na takot doon sa ilang. Parang tayo.

Ngunit hinanap pa rin siya – at tayo – ng Diyos upang pagpalain.

Tingnan kabutihan ng Diyos: hinahanap tayo at pinagpapala maski hindi tayo mabuti sa harap niya. Bagkus, higit pa nga niyang hinahanap at tila pinahahalagahan ang mga nawawala o naliligaw.

Ang ganda ng tanong ng anghel kay Agar na siya ring tanong sa atin ngayon, “Saan ka nanggaling at saan ka pupunta?”

Pagkaraan ng siyam na araw nating nobenaryo sa Sacred Heart, tingnan natin sarili nating paglalakbay sa pananampalataya, ating pinanggalingan at pinagdaanan sa buhay. Naroon ba Diyos sa oras ng ating paghihirap at pagsubok?

Tayo ba ay papalapit o papalayo sa Diyos sa ating buhay ngayon?

Pagmasdan pagkilala ng Diyos sa paghihirap ni Agar. Batid ng Diyos kanyang mga sugat. Sa sariling buhay natin marami ding pagkakataon nagpahayag ng habag at awa ang Diyos sa ating mga hirap na pinagdaraanan.

Ang pinaka-magandang bahagi nito ay ang pagbabalik ni Agar kay Sarai. Ang kanyang pagtitiwala sa Diyos na nangakong mula sa kanyang magiging anak kay Abram ay magmumula ang isa ring malaking lahi. Pati pangalan ng kanyang magiging anak ay Diyos ang nagbigay, Ishmael na ibig sabihin ay “nakikinig ang Diyos.”

Larawan mula sa Pinterest.com.

Ngayong bisperas ng Dakilang Kapistahan ng Kamahal-Mahalang Puso ni Jesus, walang duda nakikinig ang Diyos sa ating mga poanawagan at dalangin, tangis at panaghoy sa maraming sakit at hirap. Subalit, tayo ba ay nakikinig naman sa kanya?

Mismong si Jesus nagsabi hindi lahat ng tumatawag sa kanya ng “Panginoon, Panginoon” ay maliligtas dahil kung taliwas naman ang ating buhay sa ating pananampalataya. Kaya ngayong araw, balikan natin ating pinanggalingan upang maging maliwanag kung tayo nga ay malinaw pa rin sa patutunguhan, ang Diyos.

O Jesus na mayroong
maamo at mapagkumbabang Puso,
Gawin Mong ang puso nami'y
matulad sa Puso Mo!
Amen.

Life is a direction, a daily Lent

40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Ash Wednesday, 05 March 2025
Joel 2:12-18 ><}}}*> 2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2 ><}}}*> Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

Life is a daily Lent, a journey towards Easter.

We go through a pasch everyday like Jesus Christ’s Passion, Death and Resurrection when we “pass over” from sin into grace, from darkness into light, from death into life.

Life is a daily Lent because everyday, we go through an “exodus” from another day to the next new day, from sunset to sunrise. However, Lent as a journey is about direction, not destination. This we find clearly at the start of our 40-day journey of Lent with Ash Wednesday.

“Even now, says the Lord, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning; Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord, your God” (Joel 2:12-13).

It is strange that while Jesus Christ asked us in the gospel to “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father” (Mt.6:1), what we are doing this Ash Wednesday is exactly the opposite!

Alam na this… that if you meet anyone with ashes on his/her forehead, definitely he/she is a Catholic who had gone to Mass or at least had observed Ash Wednesday.

There are some who would surely be teased by friends as being too serious as they practice abstinence by avoiding meat today and on Fridays this Lent. Most likely too, many would be giving alms today in the collections for the poor in the parishes all because for the reason it is Ash Wednesday.

These three pillars of Lent – prayer, fasting and alms-giving are not only meant for this Season that lasts only for 40 days but something we are hoped to practice the whole year through until we are slowly transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

The purpose of Jesus in asking us in the gospel to do these all in secret is to avoid falling into the trap of the people of His time who flaunted to everyone their prayer, fasting and alms-giving, forgetting God in the process because focus had been on them. And yes, it continues among us that we have religiosity without spirituality, devotion without evangelization.

Moreover, to practice these in secret is actually to enter into our very selves, into our hearts where God dwells, where we meet Him personally.

Our Lenten journey becomes a direction when we take it into our hearts, when we open and rend our hearts to let Jesus come and dwell within by letting Him empty us of our pride to be filled with His humility, justice and love.

Lent then becomes a direction leading us not only to daily Easter but ultimately to our eternal salvation not just in heaven or any “place” but to be one with the Person of God Himself and the persons along the way we shall meet with whom we are called by Christ to be one with in Him.

Therefore, Lent as a direction is an inner transformation as companions in Christ.

In this age of WAZE and GPS, we can easily seek directions to a particular destination. Problem with being focused more on destination is we miss the fun and adventure of every journey. When we reach our destination, what do we do? 

We cross out from our list of travel goals every destination that we make and start looking for new places to visit until we have been to every place on earth that we plan to visit the Moon and Mars next! Eventually we get tired with travels and after covering so many distances and destination, we still feel lacking and incomplete. There is no more destination to go to that we confront ourselves with the existential question, is this really what I need most in life? Is this all?

To see life more as a direction means to find its meaning in God that we keep on maturing, we keep on sustaining our journey in Him and with Him. It does not matter wherever He leads me or where I go or stay because what matters most is I am in and with God.

Lent is entering God in and through Jesus Christ.  It is going back to Him, staying in Him and with Him in love. This is the reason why we fast, we empty ourselves even our sights and other senses so that we become more sensitive to God’s presence. There are no flowers, no decors, no Alleluia, no Gloria in the church and liturgy. Everything is bare essential so we are not distracted in finding and following God right in our hearts.  

Recall the first time you truly fell in love, when truly loved that you literally see and hear even smell your beloved everywhere and in everyone. You always thought it is your beloved whom you saw walking or speaking somewhere but it wasn’t really she! Akala mo lang…

When we truly love, the time and place are not important because all we have are the here and the now together.

Oh how easy to say we love God or somebody!  But if we try to probe deeper into ourselves, we find that we have not truly loved God or anyone that much because in many instances, we always prevail over them.  We choose our own will than God’s or our beloved’s.

That is when we sin as we turn away from God and our beloved. To sin is not just to break laws and turn away from God and our beloved but ultimately a refusal to love which is actually losing one’s direction in life.

Lent is the wonderful season of finding again our direction in life, our true love, God.  Love needs no justifications.  And we can only love persons, not things. Hence the need for oneness, for reconciliation as St. Paul asked us in the second reading to be “reconciled with God” (2 Cor.5:20).

Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says: In an acceptable time I heard you, and on the day of salvation I helped you. Behold, now is a very acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:1-2).

Now is the best time to find our life direction in God in our personal and communal worship and practices this Lent. When you find your direction, you find God, yourself and others. And that is when you find joy and peace which is Easter, the direction of every Lent and life. Amen.

When things turn bad in our lives

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Memorial of St. Alphonsus Liguori, Bishop & Doctor of Church, 01 August 2024
Jeremiah 18:1-6 ><))))*> + <*((((>< Matthew 13:47-53
Photo by Narasimhan AVPL on Pexels.com
God our Father,
I love your words today,
of You being like a potter that
"Whenever the object of clay
which he was making turned out
badly in his hand,
he tried again,
making of the clay
another object of whatever sort
he pleased.
Then the word of the Lord came to me:
Can I not do to you,
house of Israel,
as this potter has done?
says the Lord.
Indeed, like clay in the hand
of the potter,
so are you in my hands,
house of Israel"
(Jeremiah 18:4-6).
Teach me, Lord
to be docile
and to have faith in You
when things turn out badly
in my life;
let me be like the clay,
pliant and flexible,
permeable and absorbent
easy to be formed;
like St. Alphonsus Liguori
who was at first a very able lawyer
but after losing a case due to a
simple neglect,
he was depressed
that he left his legal profession
to become a priest
who later became a bishop.
How lovely to remember
accomplished people
like St. Alphonsus
committing costly mistakes in life
still given a chance
to become even greater
in your new calling;
remind us, dear Lord,
especially in moments of failures,
in times things turn out so badly
in our lives
how all the beautiful potteries we see
came from the same process of
failures and destruction
in order to be formed into
something even more beautiful
than before.
Amen.

Objections…

The Lord Is My Chef Easter Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Fourth Week of Easter, 22 April 2024
Acts 11:1-18 ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*> John 10:1-10
Photo by author in Silang, Cavite, September 2020.
Lord Jesus Christ,
as we go back to school and to work
this Monday, I pray
that we "object" less
to one another,
that we hold our "objections"
to ourselves first until
we have found the merits
of an endeavor or proposal
and most especially,
until we have found Your Holy Will.

The Apostles and the brothers who were in Judea heard that the Gentiles too had accepted the word of God. So when Peter went up to Jerusalem the circumcised believers confronted him, saying, “You entered the house of uncircumcised people and ate with them.” Peter began and explained it to them step by step… When they heard this, they stopped objecting and glorified God, saying, “God has then granted life-giving repentance to the Gentiles too.” (Acts 11:1-4, 18)

Teach us, dear Jesus,
to widen our perspectives
and to always be alert for
the movements of the Holy Spirit
so that we do not waste
time and energies with our
endless "objections"
that often paralyze
missions and operations
and worst of all, destroy
people.
How lovely is Your claim,
"I am the gate for the sheep"
(John 10:7) for we all belong
to You alone; when we object
a lot, we close the gate,
we hinder the flow of people
to the gate, and most of all,
we steal Your sheep!
Do not let our many and endless
objections claimed as for the
greater good but totally empty of You
hinder our flock in finding You
"so that they might have life
and have it more abundantly"
(John 10:10).
Amen.
Photo by author in Silang, Cavite, September 2020.

What’s really “in”, truly “hip”, never goes out of style…

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Twenty-third Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 12 September 2023
Colossians 2:6-15   <*((((>< + ><))))*>   Luke 6:12-19
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.
Father, 
our loving God,
I am getting old;
there is indeed a gap
not only in our age
but also in many other things.

Yet, it is so amazing
that even in this modern age
of great technological
advances me and my
generation could not keep up
much less even learn nor
understand, I am so grateful
to you loving Father
that people still these days
thirst for you,
yearn for you,
search for you.

In my dealings with
people these days, 
both young and old alike,
they still prefer meaning
in life than just mere
material pursuits;
more people still find
themselves in moral dilemmas,
a sign they still have moral fiber,
a conscience bothered 
by evil and sin.
Help us, dear Father,
to walk in Jesus Christ,
be rooted in him and be 
built upon him so as not 
to be captivated with empty,
seductive philosophy afflicting
even some churchmen
according to the tradition of men
and elemental powers of the world
not according to Christ
(Colossians 2:6-8).
May we remain
true to your teachings 
and to your very person, 
Lord Jesus 
so as not to mislead
others to modern fads and 
trends because we have
tried and tested,
you never go out of style;
you are always "in" because 
you dwell in each of us,
truly "hip" because you are
forever true.
Amen.