Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 19 June 2023

Forgive me for always having reservations in the celebration of Father’s Day as well as of Mother’s Day. I am not against these celebrations but often wary that being a secular observance, they often miss out the spiritual aspect of fatherhood (and motherhood) that are both gifts of God. In fact, the Ordo of the Mass, that little reference book we use in our daily celebrations of the liturgy, reminds us priests that Fathers’ Day celebration “should not diminish the primary focus of this Sunday as the celebration of the Paschal Mystery.”

Consider also the fact how religious celebrations like Christmas have been “corrupted” to mere commercialisms by our world so driven by consumerism and materialism; how much more a secular celebration like Father’s Day could end up that way too?

As we reel from yesterday’s celebrations with a lot of gifts, food and drinks to all the great dads, join me in reflecting on God as our Father which I have learned from one of my spiritual fathers, the late Msgr. Sabino S. Vengco Jr.

God is our Father because he is the giver of life. This is the first meaning of fatherhood: the father is the source of life. Genetically speaking, even though we inherit equal genetic materials from our parents that make us who we are, researchers say that we “use” more of the DNA from our fathers. Maybe this is the reason why we have that expression in Filipino, “Anak ka ng tatay mo”. Recall how St. Joseph had to marry the Blessed Mother, Virgin Mary when he had to stand as the “foster father” of the Savior by giving him the name “Jesus”. Likewise, being from the house of David, his being the “foster father” of Jesus fulfilled God’s promise in the Old Testament that our Savior shall come from the lineage of King David.

Unknown to many including priests, the rite of Baptism states that in the administration of the sacrament to the infant, it is the father who gives the name to the child being baptized because that child came from him!

But Dads as giver of life is more than in the biological sense. A father inspires and motivates his children to become better and matured persons. As a giver of life, the father shows the best examples of leadership, wisdom and prudence in dealing with life’s many complexities. It is the father who opens the minds and hearts of the children to become better citizens of the nation, not as burdens of the society in the future.

Cheers to all the Dads who have stood by their sons and daughters, working hard not only to provide food and clothing to their children but most especially a brighter future for them with their good examples of being responsible and committed fathers.

God is our Father because he protects life. It is always easy to be a parent but not truly a father (or a mother). How sad these days many young men have become like rabbits, lacking the maturity of giving one’s self into marriage and commitments.

A father does not only give life but must also sustain and most of all, protect life. Having lived during those times of frequent brownouts, I have learned this sense of protecting from my dad who would always tell us to be still as he rose to get the flashlight or find the match and candles whenever lights suddenly went off in the middle of our dinner. I grew up with that certainty that dads are men of courage, the ones who would always go first into dangerous situations to protect the family like my dad. When the father is the first to be scared or to scream in the event of dangers, there is surely a big problem at home.

Moreover, I have also observed that though wives outlive their husbands as proof that the female species is stronger than us males, there is still something so noble about fathers as protectors of life and family. Dads are always the first to die because they are the first to go into the great unknown called eternal life in order to watch over us his family. So many times since my father died in year 2000, I have felt him by my side whenever I faced big problems and difficulties. Many times I talked to him in my prayers, asking him for clarifications when I have to make crucial decisions for the family or in my ministry. He would sometimes appear to me in dreams or would make “paramdam” as we call it in Filipino when he sends signs of his presence to convey something important. Even in eternal life, Fathers remain close to us to protect and keep us safe from harm. And perhaps, he goes ahead of us to prepare the welcome party when our turn to die comes.

God is our Father because he brings back life when we lose it. This is the most beautiful imagery of God being a Father like that loving father of the prodigal son in Luke’s gospel. That is the height of fatherhood when children even wife lost life to wrong decisions, to sins, or anything that completely alters our way of living, it is always the father who assures us of how life would go on or continue, of how he would do everything to give us back our lives.

Have you noticed how despite being considered as the authority figure at home with their being strict and firm, fathers are actually more easier to approach than mothers when it comes to serious problems? A lot often, we tell our dads first of our major mishaps or accidents or misadventures because they are more calm and serene, always thinking ahead of finding solutions. Unlike mothers who are hyper ones, tending to nag and voice out their feelings inside. When I was in the seminary, a classmate borrowed my new tennis racquet. Unfortunately, he lent it to other seminarians until it was left behind at the tennis court that was picked by some outsiders who used to enter our compound after our recreation time. As vacation time approached, I prayed hard and told my dad if he could give me 300 pesos (that was quite a fortune in the early 1980’s) so I could get a new tennis racquet lest my mom would discover it was lost and I would be scolded, even spanked!

Many times, I have heard from many young people how it was their father who literally saved them by forgiving them and even helping them pick up the pieces of their lives when they got involved into teenage pregnancies. It seems those stories of fathers disowning their children especially the daughter for being disgrasyada is more of an exception than a rule, perhaps true only in telenovelas and movies.

During my final years in my seminary formation until my ordination to the priesthood in 1998, every time I would come home I would look intently at my father’s hands and face, observing his many wrinkles, burned and sagging skin. Whenever I would look at his hands and face, I thought of those days and nights and years when my dad would take the jeep and bus to work so we could have good food and good education, those many sacrifices he had to make for us to have some of the simple pleasures in life, of his fidelity to my mom and to us all that we are his only beloved and nobody else.

That is why when he died on the eve of Father’s Day on that third Sunday of June, the 17th in the year 2000 that coincided with my mom’s birthday, I felt a great part of me had gone too. It was very difficult. The pain has always remained but somehow, in his death, I have continued to feel his fatherhood with the great love he had showered us while still alive. That is why, unlike others, I choose to remain silent on Fathers’ Day, praying and reflecting fatherhood, a most precious gift of God whom Jesus revealed to us is also a Father. God bless all the fathers of the world! Amen.