The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Thirty-Second Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 14 November 2023
Wisdom 2:23-3:9 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> Luke 17:7-10
Photo by author, Ubihan Island, Obando, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.
Your words today, O God,
remind me of your fidelity,
of your being always faithful
even beyond death.
How reassuring are your words
in the first reading of your great love
for us, "forming us to be imperishable;
the image of your own nature.
But by the envy of the Devil,
death entered the world,
but the souls of the just are
in the hand of God,
no torment shall touch them"
(Wisdom 2:23-24, 3:1).
From the very beginning,
you have assured us of
grace and mercy;
keep us faithful to you always,
seeing everything we have
is a blessing by living a life in faith
in Jesus Christ which is
a life of love
too!
What an honor to serve you,
dear Father, in love and fidelity;
like those servants in the parable,
may we seek only Jesus,
always Jesus so that
in the end of our lives,
we may truly know you
by being with you
in Heaven in all eternity.
Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 10 November 2023
Lady of Sorrows from a triptych by the Master of the Stauffenberg Altarpiece, Alsace c. 1455; photo from fraangelicoinstitute.com.
There’s a beautiful interplay between crying and living. And dying.
When we were growing up as kids, siesta was obligatory at home. It was a moral ought that my mom would tell us stories in bed to fall asleep, always holding a copy of the Reader’s Digest with its beautiful pictures and illustrations.
One siesta time, the image of a newborn baby being delivered caught my eyes from the copy of the Reader’s Digest my mom was holding. Then the next illustration struck me – I was about four or five years old – as it showed the doctor held the baby upside down, crying so hard after being spanked by the doctor! My mom explained to me that’s the way it is with babies when they are born: if they cry, that means they are alive but if they do not cry, the doctor had to spank the baby in order to cry and be alive.
That was my first lesson about life strongly etched in my mind. As I grew up and matured, especially after being ordained as priest, I realized deeper meanings from that simple explanation of my mom: crying is part of our lives. If we get hurt, if we suffer, if we cry, that means we are still alive.
Many times in life for us to live, we have to kick hard and cry so hard enough like newborn babies to breathe and be alive. It is in crying we realize so many things in life, about real friendships and relationships, about joy and sadness. There are times we cry not only when in pain and agony but even when we experience joy. In fact, our most profound experiences in life are best expressed with tears when we cry, best when in silence and alone.
But, death had also taught me something so amazing and lovely about crying. I consider it as the other side of crying. And of life.
Photo by author, Baguio City, August 2023.
It happened when my best friend, Gil died in 2015. He asked me in February that year to pray for his long-delayed medical checkup; that same night, he called me again that his doctor had him confined for suspected cancer. After a series of tests, he had radiation then surgery after which followed his series of chemotherapy.
Gil cried a lot when diagnosed with cancer. He was angry and bitter with his sickness. And for a good reason because among us from high school seminary, he was the healthiest and most health conscious! I knew it because when news of that mad cow disease from Europe broke in early 2000, he stopped eating beef even burgers!
In mid September, her Ate Lily called me that doctors had told them Gil’s cancer cells were very aggressive and would have a short time to live. It was a Sunday and we his friends rushed to Makati Med that afternoon. I came to visit him for another three days before he died early Sunday morning, September 22, 2015.
It was during his final week in the hospital when he asked me for a “permission to die” (see our blog, https://lordmychef.com/2023/11/08/giving-permission-to-die/). Gil simply told me he was ready to go. His face was radiant and light, he was so at peace on his hospital bed as he gave me other final instructions for his kids and ex-wife.
I could not say anything except cried. And I cried so hard, especially as I anointed him with holy oil and prayed the commendation to the dying. It was from Gil that I realized the dying receive that special grace of knowing the end, possibly even of seeing heaven that is why they are always so composed like Jesus Christ on the Cross on Good Friday. I told him how I wish I could have that same courage in facing death when my time comes. He assured me God would give me that grace too.
From that experience, I realized when people get sick, they cry because that’s when death faced them. Who would not cry and be terrified? We their friends and family in turn, console them. The inverse happens when they approach death: they are so composed, we their family and friends are the ones crying. And the one dying are the ones consoling us! When they die, we cry. Why? Because we do not know what happens next, of what lies ahead when our loved ones are gone. Paano na tayong naiwan? That’s the saddest and scariest part of life when someone dear to us dies.
In 1999, St. John Paul II wrote a letter to his fellow elderly where he said that the grace of getting old is to be able to look back to the past with gratitude and to look forward to the future with joyful anticipation of eternity. That holy Pope must have been seeing heaven while still here on earth!
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, 06 November 2023.
It is in death when we see its strange contrast with life, of how when we were born, we cried and kicked hard to be alive while those around us rejoiced with the gift of life; when we die, we do not cry because we are already joyful with the coming bliss while those around us are filled with grief and sadness, crying not only with our demise but because they do not know what lies ahead.
In both instances, we find the grace of God so pronounced, so present that indeed, St. Paul was absolutely right:
None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself. For if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord; so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.
Romans 14:7-8
When we were growing up, there was a baby shampoo that advertised itself so mild that would not hurt your eyes, marketing itself with the words “No more tears”. It also played a commercial of a young boy going to shampoo his hair declaring, “a man should not cry” to bolster that old belief that crying is weakness.
At the sermon on the mount, Jesus taught us one of the beatitudes as “Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Mt. 5:4). I love using this gospel in funeral Masses. Where is the blessedness of mourning the death of a loved one? What is good with mourning, with crying?
Answer: love.
Blessed are those who mourn because they have love in their hearts. We cry at the death of a beloved because we love them. But, the greatest blessing we have when we mourn is from the love we have experienced from the one who had died. It is said that “if you have love in your heart, you have been blessed by God; if you have been loved, you have been touched by God.”
We are blessed when we mourn, when we cry at the death of a beloved because they loved us, they gave us a glimpse of God, they made us experience God’s love in their love! Is it not a tremendous blessing indeed?
We are so blessed these days that crying is no longer considered as a sign of weakness but actually of strength – the strength to live and the strength to forge on in life after the death of a beloved. Cheers to our tears that keep us alive! Have a wonderful weekend!
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 2021.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 08 November 2023
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.
A very dear friend died last October 16 after more than three years of fighting cancer. She used to be one of our elementary teachers at the school I was first assigned after ordination. She later resigned to teach abroad but every year whenever she was home for summer vacation, she always invited me to join their mini-reunions of former co-teachers.
Everything changed in 2020 when she had to retire early to return home for her cancer treatment. We could not visit her during the pandemic lockdown, occasionally meeting her via zoom and video phone calls. When COVID subsided a little in late 2021 and early 2022, we finally met briefly. She seemed to be responding well to her chemotherapy except that she had lost hair that was natural. Last December, we were finally able to go out with other fellow co-teachers twice after Christmas and after New Year’s day last January. We were so glad she had regained weight and strength. And hair too!
Saw her again last June but in late August, she stopped answering our messages. It turned out that her cancer had metastasized to her lungs and liver. When I came to see her October 7, the first thing she told me was for me to “allow her to die”. According to her brothers and elder sister, she had also asked them for “permission to die” earlier that night because she said, she was already tired and was ready to go back to God.
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.
It was not the first time somebody had asked me a “permission to die”, especially since I have become a hospital chaplain two years ago. But, I must confess, in all instances, there was always hesitancy on my part in giving “permission to die” especially when those dying are close to me like friends and relatives. In fact, the first person who asked me “permission to die” was my best friend from high school seminary. I just cried, said nothing when he calmly told me he was ready to go.
That scene remains vivid to my memory to this day, including the many lessons he had taught about life and dying.
By the way, let me put it clear that what we are referring here as giving “permission to die” is allowing death take its natural course, not mercy killing or euthanasia which is intrinsically evil we should never allow.
In my 25 years in the priesthood, two years as hospital chaplain since 2021, I have always felt the process of dying as a “grace-filled moment” too like in the birth of an infant or recovery of a sick person. Both the dying and their family and friends are blessed when death approaches or had come, like when Jesus visited Martha and Mary four days after the death of their brother Lazarus. That scene of Jesus speaking to Martha before bringing Lazarus back to life assures us of how God had turned death into a blessing in Christ: Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (Jn. 11:25-26)
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.
If we believe Jesus and his words to Martha, we too shall find him coming to us when a beloved is dying, especially when they ask us that “permission to die” which is not actually a permission per se because only God decides when we are going to die.
When patients ask for “permission to die”, they are actually bidding us goodbye. Dying people always knew when they had to go because they have already accepted the reality. This is very noticeable at the serenity, even of joy, on their face. Despite their sickness, dying patients who have truly made peace with God and had given up everything to Him always have that grace of composure like Jesus when he died on the Cross, crying his same prayer, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit” (Lk.23:46).
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, September 2021.
Giving “permission to die” is a grace from God He gives to relatives and friends to accept and embrace that difficult reality.
“Permitting” our loved ones to die is to assure them of our love and forgiveness of their sins against us. It is our final act of love for them when we assist them to that great passageway onto eternity like when we would lead our guests out to the door to ensure them our separation is just temporary until we meet again soon.
Due to this great amount of love in our final goodbyes, some people sometimes “fake” their dying moments, creating a “drama” in asking “permission to die” when actually, they are not yet ready to die but merely demanding love and care from family and friends. One clear sign is they tend to be more cerebral than cordial, becoming bitter and angry than ever. Even amid sufferings, they think more of themselves than feel others around them. Like the boy who cried wolf, they have not yet really seen death approaching because most likely, they have not yet faced life and living truly. Coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life. When loved ones “fake” their dying, what they really seek is how to live fully and responsibly, to be their true self. But that’s a different topic…
Photo by author, Malagos Orchid Farm, Davao City, 2017.
Death is the most terrifying moment in life because we do not know what’s next, where we are going. That is why, when people truly mean that they have accepted death, that is also when they have accepted life in its fullness. They do not reason out. They just feel God and those around them. Most of all, they have peace within amid pains.
The same thing happens with us relatives and friends of the dying. We feel their sense of peace within, affecting us, infecting us. Hence, we get lost at how to express our giving them of that permission to die. Very often, we cry because our hearts overflow with love. When we feel their seeking of permission to die is genuine, our mouths and tongues are shut, incapable of expressing our love for them that is diverted into our eyes as tears, bursting forth like waters from a collapsed dam that cleanse also us of our fears and sadness at our impending loss.
Finally, giving permission to die to our beloved is an expression of our faith in God, affirming we all came from God and would someday go home to God in heaven. Thus, giving permission to die is actually to comfort – literally, “to give strength to” – the dying of their faith in God while facing their final tests and temptations in life, assuring them that soon, we shall join them in eternal joy.
Many times, our family and friends suffer so much before death because of our refusal to let them go too. We keep on holding them back that terrify them in making the great crossover. Giving them permission to die is easing and sharing their fears so they can finally let go and let God, that is, die – the meaning of the letter “d” that stands between the words “go” and “God”. According to the prayer by St. Francis of Assisi, it is in dying when we are born into eternal life. Amen.
*Aside from All Saints’ Day and All Souls Day, the whole month of November is a traditional time for visiting the graves of our loved ones. Go and offer them prayers, especially that “permission to die” if you are still holding them and have not yet let them go.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, All Souls' Day, 02 November 2023
Wisdom 3:1-9 ><]]]]'> Romans 6:3-9 ><]]]]'> John 6:37-40
Photo by author, Jesuit Cemetery, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 21 March 2023.
As we remember today
all our departed loved ones
awaiting entry into your holy presence
O God in heaven,
we pray too that we may
always remember
your call for us to be good,
for us to work for justice
and truth,
for us to always remember
there is death,
there is judgment.
We are beings of forgetfulness,
Lord, and what a wonderful gift you
have given us with "re-membereing" -
for making someone long gone
still a part, a "member again"
of the present
when we who are living
in the "here" and "now"
remember them in our
prayers and sacrifices,
most of all, in our good deeds
because love, after all,
can reach in the afterlife!
The best way to
remember is to live
in the present moment
in Christ Jesus
who had assured us
of our salvation, that
not one of us he would lose
but raise to life on the last
day (John 6:39);
while here on earth,
may we start purifying ourselves
in your loving service, Lord,
to others, whether they are
in this life or in the afterlife
inasmuch as our lives
are connected with
one another to eternity;
and so, we pray for them,
we hope for them,
because we love them
in YOU, Jesus,
with YOU, Jesus,
and through YOU, Jesus
as we hope it is never too late
nor is it in vain to touch
their hearts wherever
they may be.
Amen.
Yes! I have proven this most truest when we pray for the sick, especially for babies and children. And when we are also sick or, very sick.
The late Fr. Henri Nouwen said in one of his writings that “life is precious because it is fragile.” I have gradually grasped and experienced this most wonderful truth of life only these past two years when I was assigned as chaplain at the Fatima University Medical Center in Valenzuela City.
Every Sunday after Mass at the University chapel, I visit our patients to bring them communion (viaticum), hear their confessions and anoint them with oil. One of our patients last Sunday was a young mother named Rachel who delivered a sickly baby boy Saturday with difficulties in breathing.
Rachel was crying when we entered her room. After receiving the Communion, she asked me to visit and pray over her baby at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I readily said yes to her request then asked her if I can baptize her baby and what name would she like to give him. “Daniel Steven, Father,” she said softly as she wiped her tears.
After putting on my hairnet and gown and slippers, the nurse led me inside the NICU where I saw two doctors and three nurses gathered around Rachel’s baby. Soon enough, both doctors came to me to explain the delicate – “toxic” – situation of the infant as we walked closer to him.
It was “solemnly silent” inside the NICU that morning with the warm light above the baby giving that holy feel like being before a Belen or a creche; the scene was so “disarming” that I just felt praying to God deeply from my heart, begging him to please bless and heal this baby who is much like Jesus Christ who was right away subjected to dangers upon birth in Bethlehem. I prayed too to God to remember Christ’s special love and concern for children, warning anyone who would harm them that angels look after them (Mt. 18:10) to keep them safe always.
At that moment, the baby opened his eyes – and sparkled as I saw his face lit up despite the little tubes connected to him. At that instance, I just felt something like a giant wave gushing within me like a tsunami and, boom! I burst into tears as if that giant wave inside washed me.
It was a very good cry, like a catharsis, so pure that seemed to have cleansed me resulting in joy within with the baby seemed to be looking at me, making sounds from his little mouth.
“My God, did he hear me praying?” I asked myself while standing there, praying with my arms still outstretched as tears rolled profusely to my face mask. After a few minutes, I wiped my tears and came forward to pour Holy Water on his head, saying, “I baptize you, Daniel Steven, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
I have visited many sick children in our hospital with the most unique even bizarre sickness and diseases and accidents. They have all moved me in pity but it was only Daniel Steven who had made me cry.
That moment when he opened his eyes and “looked” at me even though I knew infants could not recognize nor actually see, I felt God was ultimately the one really looking at me, listening to my prayers. At the same time, it was then when God fully opened my eyes and my heart to see him in baby Daniel as the One always listening to our prayers especially when we are facing dangers like death – the greatest and ultimate danger we all face in life. It is in such moments of great dangers when God is most closest to us in Jesus Christ who became human like us to be one with us in everything including death (but except sin).
Less than 80 days from now it would be Christmas but, have we realized this reality of how Jesus Christ have seriously faced death right after his birth being born in an “unsanitary” manger to being transported in harsh conditions to Egypt when Herod tried to kill him?
It is in sufferings and death when we truly experience the preciousness of life, the value of every person, no matter how small like a child or how old like any senior citizen. It is in the face of death when we are most human, truly and naturally weak and fragile that we also realize deeply, existentially the meaning of being alive when we are close to its end. That is when we feel life is precious because that is also when we feel it slipping away from us, slowly losing it.
That fragility of life is most evident when we struggle for breath, gasp for air, and reach out to someone’s hands to hold and clasp in order to rise again, to cling to another human and simply to be alive. From that we experience life’s meaning and value when it is shared and lived in God who is life himself through others. That is why we also feel closest to him at those moments when we see those sick and suffering and dying when we are close to God who comes most nearest to us in those grave moments.
Back in 2007 when I was in my first assignment as one of the teacher-administrators of a school in Malolos while we concurrently ran a parish, I felt burned out being there since 1998. One Friday afternoon during a Holy Hour, I begged God to give me one good reason why I should stay in that assignment when I was asked to answer a sick call in a nearby hospital. When I got in the hospital, the doctors and nurses were resuscitating the patient I was supposed to anoint.
Quickly upon seeing me, they let me come to the patient to pray over him and anoint him with oil. After that, I stayed in the room to watch the doctors and nurses struggled to revive the patient. Then another doctor arrived who turned out to be the son-in-law of the dying patient (also an ex-seminarian ahead of me in the minor seminary). After conversing with them, that doctor told them to stop the procedures as he would explain everything to his wife, the daughter of the patient.
Soon enough, the patient flatlined and died. His son-in-law called me and told me the patient had died and if I could bless him again. I did bless him again with Holy Water. As the doctor thanked me for being there at that crucial moment, I also thanked God for listening and answering my prayer in giving me a sign why I should remain in my assignment. What a precious sign he had given me, the first patient I have seen dying in front of me.
Now as a hospital chaplain, I have lost tracked of how many patients have died before me after praying and anointing them. But in each one of them, I have felt God present among us, saving their souls in eternity. But most of them, God had kept alive and healthy until now because he always listens to our prayers. Amen.
Photo by Mr. Red Santiago of his son Cayden praying in our former parish in January 2020.
*Daniel Steven is still in the NICU, fighting for his life that is so fragile, so delicate. And most precious. Doctors said these first 72 hours are very crucial. Please help us pray for him so he would get better and live life into maturity like most of us. Thank you.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-12 ng Setyembre 2023
Larawan kuha ni G. Cristian Pasion, Bihilya ng Pasko ng Pagkabuhay 2022, Pambansang
Noong bata ako buong akala ko ang paglalamay at pakikiramay ay iisa. Alalaong-baga, kapag may lamayan, mayroong namatay at paraan iyon ng pakikiramay. E hindi pala ganun!
Sa aking pagtanda at pagkamulat sa wika, higit sa lahat sa buhay na palaging kaakibat pagkamulat din sa kamatayan, napagtanto ko na bagaman magkaiba ang lamay at ramay, malalim at matalik ang ugnayan ng dalawang kataga.
Ang paglalamay ay pagpupuyat, tulad ng pagsusunog ng kilay o pag-aaral sa gabi. Maari din itong hindi pagtulog sa magdamag upang matapos ang isang proyekto at gawain. Naglalamay din bilang bahagi ng gampanin at tungkulin tulad ng mga nagtatrabaho ng pang-gabi o graveyard shift gaya ng mga pulis, mamamahayag, drayber, mga viajero at mga nasa call center.
Maraming pagkakataon sa paglalamay ikaw ay may kasamang nagpupuyat upang tulungan na tapusin ang gawain o gampanan ang tungkulin. Sa paglalamay, palaging mayroong kasama upang tulungan tayong malampasan ano mang pagsubok na pinagdaraanan. Doon nagsasalapungan ang dalawang kataga ng lamay at ramay: sa gitna ng kadiliman ng gabi, mayroong maasahang kasamang nakikibahagi at nakikiisa sa pagdurusan at hirap na pinagdaraanan.
Larawan kuha ni G. Jay Javier, Tayabas, Quezon, 13 Agosto 2023.
Napakaganda ng larawang sinasaad ng lamay at ramay – ang kadiliman ng gabi. Sa bibliya, ang gabi at kadiliman ay sumasagisag sa kapangyarihan ng kasamaan.
Ipinanganak si Jesus sa pinakamadilim na gabi ng buong taon, mula Disyembre 23 hanggang 25. Malinaw na pagpapahayag ito ng pakikiramay ng Diyos sa kadiliman ng ating buhay. Doon siya palaging dumarating kung tutuusin.
Huwag nating pag-alinlanganan katotohanang ito na muli nating natunghayan noong Huling Hapunan ng Panginoon na naganap sa pagtatakip-silim ng Huwebes Santo. Kinagabihan si Jesus ay nanalangin sa halamanan ng Getsemani ngunit tinulugan ng tatlong malalapit na mga alagad. Huli na ang lahat nang sila ay magising nang dumating si Judas Iskariote, isa sa kanilang mga kasamahan na nagkanulo kay Jesus sa kadiliman ng gabi.
Anong saklap na walang karamay si Jesus sa paglalamay na iyon na nagpatuloy sa kanyang paglilitis sa Sanhedrin kung saan naman tatlong ulit siyang tinatwa ni Simon Pedro habang nasa labas ng tahahan ng punong pari. Kaya nga kung sakali man tayo ay nasa napakadilim na yugto ng buhay at tila nag-iisa, alalahaning si Jesus ay ating kapiling, nakikiramay sa atin dahil siya ang naunang nakaranas na maglamay ng walang karamay! Kanya itong binago at tiniyak na hindi na mauulit kanino man upang siya ay makaramay sa bawat lamay ng ating buhay nang siya ay muling mabuhay, nagtagumpay sa kamatayan at kasamaan sa gitna rin ng kadiliman ng gabi.
larawan kuha ni G. Cristian Pasion, Bihilya ng Pasko ng Pagkabuhay 2021.
Kamakailan ay dumadalas aking pagmimisa sa mga lamayan ng mga yumaong mga kamag-anak at kaibigan. Noon pa man lagi nang nasasambit ng mga kaibigan bakit nga ba hindi tayo magkita-kita habang buhay pa kesa naman doon na lamang palagi nabubuo pamilya at barkada sa lamayan ng namamatay?
Tama rin naman kanilang bukambibig sa mga lamayan. Ano pa ang saysay ng pagsasama-sama gayong nawala na at pumanaw ang mahal sa buhay?
Ngunit kamakailan ay napagnilayan ko rin na tama lamang na magkita-kita tayo sa mga lamayan upang ipahayag ating pakikiramay dahil naroon tayo hindi lamang upang makidalamhati kungdi magpuri at magpasalamat din sa isang yumao. Wika nga ng marami, lamay lamang ang hindi ipinangungumbida kasi doon masusukat tunay na kabutihan ng isang tao sa kanyang pagpanaw: kung marami ang naglamay at nakiramay, ibig sabihin, mabuti siyang tao, mapakisama, laging karamay noong nabubuhay pa.
Napagtanto ko ito sa nakakatawang pagkakataon; kundangan kasi, bilang mula sa mga sinaunang panahon, para sa akin ang pakikiramay ay dapat seryoso. Malungkot nga dapat at nakikidalamhati. Hirap na hirap ako noong matanggap ang picture taking sa lamayan! Iskandalo kung baga sa akin ang magpose at picture-taking sa lamayan, lalo na sa tabi ng labi ng yumao. Paano ka namang ngingiti e mayroong ngang patay at namatayan?
Larawan kyha ng may akda, 2018.
Nakatutuwang isipin kung paanong itinuro sa akin ng teknolohiya ang malalim na kahulugan ng pakikiramay sa paglalamay. Na ito ay higit sa lahat pagdiriwang ng buhay, pagpupugay at pasasalamat sa magandang samahan na ating tinitiyak na magpapatuloy pumanaw man ating kaibigan at kamag-anakan. Ang ating pakikiramay ay hindi lamang pagpadarama ng pakikiisa sa dalamhati kungdi pagtiyak ng pagkakaisang ito sa pagmamahal, pasasalamat at pag-alala tuwina sa isang pumanaw at kanilang mga naulila.
Mainam pa rin makadaupang-palad mga kamag-anak at kaibigan habang nabubuhay ngunit hindi pa rin huli ang lahat na sakali man dala ng maraming kadahilanan tayo ay makiramay tuwing mayroon lamay dahil ang totoo’y buhay pa rin ating ipinagdiriwang. Ito ang dahilan kaya ating tawag sa pumapanaw ay hindi namatay kungdi sumakabilang buhay. Balang araw siya ring ating hantungang lahat kung saan ang lamay at ramay ay iisang katotohanan na lamang na kung tawagi’y, pag-ibig.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-26 ng Hulyo 2023
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, takip-silim sa may Silang, Cavite noong Agosto 2020.
Sa araw na ito, ika-26 ng Hulyo ay ating pinararangalan ang mga nakatatanda sa atin bilang paggunita kina San Joaquin at Sta. Ana, mga magulang ng Mahal na Birheng Maria, Lolo at Lola ng Panginoong Jesus.
Sa aming pamilya, espesyal ito noon pa man dahil kaarawan ng aking yumaong ama na si Wilfredo na isinilang noong Hulyo 26, 1932. Pumanaw siya noong ika-17 ng Hunyo 2000, kaarawan ng aming Ina. Kaya mula noon hanggang ngayon ay parang drama ang aming buhay na magkakapatid tuwing sasapit ang mga buwan ng Hunyo at Hulyo dahil naroon ang magkahalong tuwa at lungkot sa birthday ng aming mga magulang gayon din ang pagpapanaw ni Daddy.
Dahil dalawang taon pa lamang ako na pari nang pumanaw aking ama, hindi pa ako nakapagmisa patungkol sa kanyang kaarawan tuwing ika-26 ng Hulyo. Gayun din sa aking ina. Dahil sa napakasakit niyang karanasan, hindi ko pa rin siya naipagmimisa nang patungkol sa kanyang birthday na death anniversary nga ng kanyang kabiyak ng puso at aming ama. Dangan din kasi ay mahigpit ang bilin ni Mommy nang mamatay si Daddy, hindi na siya magbe-birthday celebration.
Ang aking yumaong ama sa kanyang opisina, Bureau of Forestry, 1972.
Nakakatawang isipin, puwede nga bang hindi magbirthday dito sa lupang ibabaw? Bagaman palaging death anniversary ni Daddy ang aming pagdiriwang tuwing June 17 na birthday ni Mommy, mayroon pa rin kaming pansit o spaghetti, cake at ice cream para sa kanya!
Darating at darating ating birthday na parang kuliling ng tindero ng ice cream ngunit kapag tayo ay namatay, wala na tayong birthday celebration. Ang kamatayan natin sa lupa ang birthday natin sa langit kaya iyon ang higit nating dapat alalahanin!
Kaya sana po ay huwag ninyo masamain itong aking sasabihin: tigilan na po natin itong kalokohan at kahibangan ng pagbati ng “Happy Birthday in Heaven” sa mga yumao nating mahal na buhay.
Inaamin ko na ako man ay ilang ulit napatangay sa kamaliang ito ng pagbati ng happy birthday in heaven sa Facebook. Nguni’t simula ngayon na sana ay ika-91 kaarawang ng aking ama kung nabubuhay pa siya, hinding hindi na ako babati kanino man ng happy birthday in heaven.
Wala na pong birthday sa langit o kabilang-buhay dahil iyon ay kawalang hanggan na po.
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Mt. St. Paul, La Trinidad, Benguet, Mayo 2017.
Noong mamatay ang aking ama sa kaarawan ng aking ina, iyon ang paliwanag ko sa kanya: ganyan po kayo kamahal ng Daddy; birthday niya sa langit, birthday po ninyo dito sa lupa.
Kaya nga ang kapistahan palagi ng mga banal ay ang petsa ng kanilang kamatayan o nang paglilipat ng kanilang labi. Bukod tangi lamang sina Jesus, Birheng Maria at San Juan Bautista ang ipinagdiriwang natin ang mga kaarawan ng pagsilang sa lupang ibabaw.
Ang kamatayan natin ang ating petsa ng pagsilang sa buhay na walang hanggan. Move on na tayo…
Sa dalawamput-limang taon ko sa pagkapari, isang bagay napansin ko na madalas ang mga petsa ng kamatayan ay sadyang makahulugan kesa petsa ng kapanganakan. Palagi mga petsa ng kamatayan ng mga mahal natin sa buhay malapit o may kinalaman sa mahalalagang petsa sa buhay natin. Sabi nga ng iba, madalas namamatay ang tao malapit sa petsa ng birthday nila.
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Anvaya Cove sa Bataan, Mayo 2023.
Sa dati kong parokya, nagrereunion ang isang angkan tuwing araw ng Pasko, Disyembre 25 dahil iyon ang kamatayan ng kanilang Lola. Nang suriin ko, ipinanganak ang Lola nila ika-24 ng Marso! Sabi ko sa kanilang angkan ay napakaganda ng petsa ng kamatayan ng Lola nila bagamat masakit kung iisipin dahil araw iyon ng kasiyahan dapat. Nguni’t wika ko sa kanila, isinilang sa lupa inyong Lola sa bisperas ng petsa ng pagkakatawang-tao ni Jesus o Annunciation (Marso 25) habang isinilang naman Lola nila sa langit nang pumanaw siya ng ika-25 ng Disyembre. Tuwang-tuwa sila sa paliwanag ko kaya tuwing Pasko, ako ay pinamamaskuhan ng magkakamag-anak!
Pagmasdan ninyo mga lapida sa sementeryo: palagi naroon ang petsa ng kapanganakan at kamatayan. At pagkatapos ay wala nang kasunod kasi nga wala nang hanggan!
Noong wala pang social media lalo na iyang Facebook na dahilan ng pagkabobo nating mga tao dahil nga puro tayo palabas, kapag dumarating petsa ng pagsilang ng yumao nating mahal sa buhay, ang palaging sinasabi ay “nobenta’y uno na sana siya kung buhay pa ngayon” (he would have been 91 years old today had he not died).
Tingnang ninyo. Mas tumpak ang kaisipan at pananalita ng matatanda kesa sa atin ngayon. Kung araw ng kapanganakan ng yumaong mahal sa buhay, magpost na lang ng simpleng “naaalala ka pa rin namin” o “buhay kang palagi sa aking alaala” o “ikaw pa rin ang aking tanging mahal” na siyang tunay at totoo kesa “happy birthday sa langit” na isang kasinungalingan.
Inuulit ko, wala na pong birthday sa langit.
Huwag na kayong babati ng happy birthday in heaven. Ang birthday ay sa lupa lamang. Mag-level up na tayo ng pananaw, kaisipan at kamalayan katulad ng mga pumanaw na nasa kabilang buhay na. “Ang mga bagay na panlangit ang isaisip ninyo, hindi ang mga bagay na panglupa sapagkat namatay na kayo at ang inyong tunay na buhay ay natatago sa Diyos, kasama ni Kristo” (Col. 3:1-2).
Maraming salamat po at maligayang kapistahan sa mga Lolo at Lola muli!
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, takip-silim sa Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan, Hunyo 2020.
Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-24 ng Mayo 2023
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Jesuit Cemetery sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 Marso 2023.
Bago pa man ako naging pari ay madalas ko nang naririnig ang tanong ng karamihan na bakit nga ba tayo nagkikita-kita lamang kung mayroong namamatay? Bakit nga ba hindi tayo magkita-kita ng madalas habang buhay pa upang ipahayag ating pagmamahal sa kaibigan o kamag-anak kesa yung sila ay patay na?
Bakas sa mga katanungang ito ang malungkot na katotohanan ng buhay lalo na sa mga nagkaka-edad tulad ko. Minsan naroon din ang panghihinayang at pagiging-guilty na kung bakit nga ba hindi tayo nagsasama-sama habang malakas at buhay pa mga yumaong mahal natin sa buhay?
Pero ang nakakatawa sa ganitong mga usapan ay ang katotohanan na pagkaraan ng ilang buwan o taon, magkikita-kita muli tayo pa ring magkakamag-anak at magkakaibigan sa susunod na lamayan nang hindi pa rin nagkasama-sama habang mga buhay pa!
Ano nangyari? Hindi na nga ba tayo natuto sa aral ng mga naunang yumao, na magsama-sama habang buhay at malakas?
Sa aking palagay ay hindi naman sa hindi na tayo natuto kungdi ang totoo, higit pa ring mainam ang magkita-kita sa lamayan kesa saan pa mang pagtitipon dahil sa ilang mas malalim na kadahilanan.
“Kaunting panahon na lamang at hindi na ako makikita ng sanlibutan. Ngunit ako’y makikita ninyo; sapagkat mabubuhay ako, at mabubuhay rin kayo. Malalaman ninyo sa araw na yaon na ako’y sumasa-Ama, kayo’y sumasaakin, at ako’y sumasainyo.”
Juan 14:19-20
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Jesuit Cemetery sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 Marso 2023.
Una, sa ating pakikiramay buhay ang pinararangalan at hindi ang kamatayan. Nakikiramay tayo upang ipagdiwang mabuting pamumuhay at magandang pakikisama ng yumao. Wika nga sa amin sa Bulacan, ang lamay lang ang hindi ipinag-iimbita. Ito ang sukatan ng kabutihan ng isang tao na siya ay parangalan hanggang magkapuyatan. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit paulit-ulit sinabi ni Jesus sa kanyang mga alagad na maging handa palagi dahil hindi natin alam ang oras ng ating pagpanaw. Alalaong-baga, mamuhay tayo sa kabutihan.
Isa sa mga paborito kong pelikula ay ang The Last Samurai ni Tom Cruise. Sa huling bahagi ng pelikula bago siya bumalik ng Amerika, namaalam siya sa batang emperador ng Hapon na nagsabi sa kanya, “Tell me how did my samurai die.” Sumagot si Tom Cruise, “I will not tell you how he died but I will tell you how he lived.”
Kaya nga sa lamayan hindi naman pinag-uusapan kung ano at paanong namatay kungdi paanong namuhay ang mahal nating pumanaw. Narito ang malaking kaibahan ng mga pagtitipon ng buhay gaya ng mga handaan at party na nauuwi lamang sa kainan, inuman, at tawanan o kantahan hanggang magkalasingan at di matunawan sa kabusugan. Minsan nauuwi pa sa away mga ito.
Ang ibig ko lang sabihin ay ito: sa patay mayroon ding kainan at inuman kung minsan pero iba ang lalim ng usapan at kuwentuhan. Lalong higit ng pagsasalo-salo – walang nagbabalot! – kasi iba ang level ng pagtitipon sa lamayan. Mayroong rubdob. Nahirapan lang ako sa isang bagay na sadyang makabago at hirap pa rin akong tanggapin. Ang pagpapakuha ng litrato sa mga lamayan. Mula pagkabata kasi aking nagisnan ay seryoso ang lamayan at dahil noon ay wala pang mga camera phone kaya asiwa ako na pumorma o mag-pose sabay ngiti kasama mga naulila sa tabi ng mga labi ng giliw na pumanaw. Maliban doon, ito ang unang kagandahan at biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay – ito ay pagdiriwang ng buhay hindi ng kamatayan.
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Jesuit Cemetery sa Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 21 Marso 2023.
Ikalawang biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay sa patay ay ang pagpapahayag ng patuloy nating pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga sa ating ugnayan hindi lamang sa pumanaw kungdi pati sa kanyang mga naulila. Hindi lamang tayo nakikibahagi sa kanilang dalamhati na siyang kahulugan ng pakikiramay o pagdamay, kungdi higit sa lahat ay ang ating pagtitiyak sa kanila na kahit wala na ang giliw nating pumanaw, nananatili pa rin tayong kamag-anak at kaibigan.
Pinakamasakit na bahagi ng pagmamahal ang paghihiwalay, pansamantala man o pang-magpakailanman tulad ng kamatayan. Isa itong katotohanang ating naranasang lahat dahil walang permanente sa buhay na ito. Darating at darating ang sandali na tayo ay mahihiwalay sa ating minamahal kapag ang mga anak ay nagsipag-kolehiyo o kapag sila ay nagsipag-asawa upang bumuo ng sariling pamilya. At ang pinaka-masakit sa lahat ng paghihiwalay, ang pagpanaw ng mahal sa buhay.
Gayon pa man, naroon sa kamatayan ang pinakamatinding hamon ng pagmamahal na ating ipinahahayag at ipinadarama sa pakikiramay. Alalaong-baga kapag tayo pumupunta sa lamayan, ating pinagtitibay sa kanilang naulila ang ating ugnayan, na tayo ay magkakamag-anak pa rin, magkakaibigan pa rin. Kahit mawala ang isang kamag-anak o pamilya at kaibigan, hindi mawawala ating ugnayan. Sama-sama pa rin tayo hanggang sa kabilang buhay kung saan magiging ganap at lubos ating mga ugnayan sa Diyos kay Kristo Jesus.
Kitang-kita ang ugnayang ito na hindi kayang putulin ng kamatayan sa paraan ng ating pagpapaalam. Walang nagsasabing “aalis na ako” o “lalayas na ako” maliban kung siya ay galit. Kapag tayo nagpapaalam saan man, ating sinasabi palagi ay “mauuna na po ako” gayong wala namang susunod sa ating pag-alis. Atin ding sinasabi bilang pamamaalam ang “tutuloy na po ako” e lumalabas nga ang isang nagpapaalam paanong tutuloy?!
Ang mga ito ay tanda ng pagtimo sa ating katauhan ng katotohanan ng kamatayan at buhay na walang hanggan. Sinasabi nating mauuna na ako dahil batid natin lahat ang katotohanan na una-una lang sa kamatayan. Gayon din ang pagsasabi ng tutuloy na ako tuwing nagpapaalam kasi isa lang ating hahantungang lahat, ang buhay na walang hanggan sa piling ng Diyos sa kalangitan.
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Bolinao, Pangasinan, 19 Abril 2022.
Kaya hindi rin kataka-taka minsan kung kailan pumanaw at nawala na ang isang mahal sa buhay saka lumalalim ating ugnayan. Iyan ang ikatlong biyaya ng pakikiramay at paglalamay, ang pananatili ng pag-ibig. Higit nating nadarama lalim ng ating pagmamahal kanino man kapag siya ay pumanaw na. Ito yung hiwaga ng aral ni Jesus sa bundok, “Mapapalad ang mga nahahapis, sapagkat aaliwin sila ng Diyos” (Mt.5:4).
Mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil una, sila ay nagmamahal. Sabi ni San Agustin, kaya tayo umiiyak kapag namatay ang isang mahal sa buhay kasi tayo ay nagmamahal. Masakit ang mawalan at hindi na makita ang isang minamahal.
Higit sa lahat, mapapalad ang nahahapis dahil silay ay minahal. Iyon ang pinaka-masakit sa pagmamahal. Matapos maranasan ikaw ay mahalin, saka naman siya mawawala sa piling. Ngunit iyon din ang pagpapala. Kaya masakit mamamatayn kasi nga tayo ay minahal. Sabi ng isang makata, “kung ikaw ay mayroong pagmamahal, ikaw ay pinagpala; kung ikaw ay minahal, ikaw ay hinipo ng Diyos.” Tuwing tayo ay nakikiramay, naglalamay, ating ipinahahayag ating pagmamahal gayun din ang biyaya na tayo ay minahal ng pumanaw.
Tama si San Pablo na sa kahuli-hulihan, lahat ay maglalaho at tanging pag-ibig lang ang mananatili (1Cor. 13:13). Gayon din ang inawit ni Bb. Cookie Chua sa Paglisan.
Kung ang lahat ay may katapusan
Itong paglalakbay ay makakarating din sa paroroonan
At sa iyong paglisan, ang tanging pabaon ko
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig
Ay pag-ibig
Manatili sa pag-ibig ni Kristo! Amen. Salamuch po.
Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Bolinao, Pangasinan, 19 Abril 2022.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 07 April 2023
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.
It was now about noon and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon because of an eclipse of the sun. Then the veil of the temple was torn down the middle. Jesus cried our in a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit”; and when he had said this he breathed his last.
Luke 23:44-46
Do you have a “bucket list”, of things to do before turning a certain age or before dying? Very often we read in social media articles of sample “bucket lists”, of things to do, things to see, food to eat before one dies as if these are the ultimate things or cities or food in the world!
I am sorry I do not believe in such “bucket list” no matter how good is that movie of the same title. It is all non-sense! Why spend so much time and energies of things to do before dying or turning 50 or 60 or whatever age when we should be making the most out of every present moment because we could die any time!
We will all die one day for sure. But, will we die well? Our death is our most wonderful and lasting gift to our loved ones if we die for them and for others, if we lived a fruitful life we can leave for them. The question we should be asking is “how do we live our lives meaningfully now in the present so that when we die, our lives would continue to bear fruit in the generations that will follow us?” Stop wondering or asking about what we can do in the future or the years we have left to live because that is highly hypothetical. It has not happened yet and might not even happen at all if we die soon enough. Get real by living fully in the present! Coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life. The moment we realize we shall die one day, that is when we start living authentically. And joyfully.
Jesus died so well on that Good Friday because he was able to surrender everything to the Father and for us all because he lived fully that is why he was able to surrender or give or commend his spirit. How about us? How sad that many times our loved ones left us with much pain and regrets because we never fully lived with them nor enjoy precious moments with them while still alive. Live fully in love and joy, forgiveness and mercy. Celebrate life daily. Life is too short to spend it in dramas and wishful thinking.
At the hour of our death like Jesus on that Good Friday, can we also give others and God our spirit of love and mercy, our spirit of joy and kindness? Or, we are still busy thinking what else we can do in this life? What if we are called back to God now, at this very moment?
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus Christ,
grant me the grace to live
my life in you,
with you,
and through you
to the fullest in every here and now
so that if ever I should die any moment,
I am able to commend to the Father
my spirit back to him
without regrets,
without pains,
without sin
but only with joy and gratitude
that my loved ones would
feel and nurture
until we all meet again
in your kingdom in heaven.
Amen.
Thank you for following our reflections on the Seven Last Words of Jesus on the Cross. May you have a meaningful Holy Week and a joyful Easter! God bless you!
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 02 April 2023
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” He replied to him, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
Luke 23:42
Every time we feel good, whenever we see something so beautiful, whenever we are with those we love, we describe the feelings as “like paradise” or “heaven”. For us, paradise is all bliss. No sickness, no problems, no sufferings, nothing bad, nothing dark, nothing unpleasant. It is all good. In fact, perfect.
And that is why heaven or paradise is! From the ancient Persian word paradiso, it referred to the innermost room in the palace where only the most trusted ministers of the King were allowed to enter along with his immediate family, From that came the idea that paradise must be so beautiful that the Greek translators of the Bible used it to refer to heaven as God’s dwelling. After all, our God is the only One who is perfect and supreme than any king in the world.
Recall that when Adam and Eve sinned, they were banished from Paradise that was henceforth closed until that Good Friday when Jesus promised Paradise – of all people – to a former thief!
Yes, Paradise is for every sinner ready to beg forgiveness, ready to claim Jesus Christ as our Savior!
And that is just one of the surprising things about Paradise or Heaven according to Jesus on that Good Friday.
See that Jesus never promised “Paradise” when He was freely going around Galilee, preaching and healing the people, when He was dining with sinners and tax collectors, when He was very well and strong.
Jesus promised Paradise when he was dying there on the Cross, not when He was strong and free!
See also how He said the words to Dimas, “today you will be with me in Paradise”.
Jesus promised Paradise at that very moment they were on the Cross, hanging and dying. Not later when they died nor on Sunday when He resurrected from the dead.
Jesus promised Paradise at that very moment they were suffering and dying, in extreme, excruciating pains never imagined by anyone, presumably with all the fears, negative thoughts and feelings that went with it.
And that is precisely when we enter Paradise with Jesus, too.
When we are suffering from our sickness and disabilities especially over a long period of time, when we are deep in pains in our heart for all the hurts inflicted by a loved one, when we are old and bed-ridden awaiting the final moment of death, when we are in agony for the loss of a loved one, when deep in trials and disappointments, or whenever we are so weak and dying literally or figuratively speaking.
That is when we slowly enter Paradise.
In a world where the most prescribed medicine is the pain reliever, where everything is invented to minimize even eradicate difficulties and hardships, Jesus is reminding us that we enter Paradise when we are with Him suffering there on the Cross.
That is the value and meaning of the Cross we always evade these days. It is not all suffering but also a foretaste of eternal bliss, of perfect joy and happiness because it is during our darkest moments in life that we get a glimpse of Christ’s eternal light, when we are transformed and made stronger and better as persons soon enough to be worthy to enter the most exclusive circle of all – Paradise – to dwell in the Lord with His angels and Saints.
Let us pray for those going through many sufferings these days, including ourselves.
Lord Jesus Christ,
before all these pains and trials
came to my life,
You were there FIRST for me on the Cross;
You were there FIRST for me to suffer and die
on the Cross.
Let me stay with you on Your Cross
so I may enter Paradise with You,
right now,
right here.
Amen.
One of the most beautiful front page photos I have seen in many years. Taken in August 2021 when we were in the midst of a surge in COVID-19 cases, the photo evokes Paradise, “right here, right now” while people were suffering in Jesus, with Jesus and through Jesus. Photo from inquirer.net.
lordmychef.com 