The Lord Is My Chef Easter Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday, Feast of St. Matthias, Apostle, 14 May 2024 Acts 1:15-17, 20-26 ><)))'> + <'(((>< John 15:9-17
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
Dearest Jesus, please pardon me in telling You how it saddens me when I hear of so many stories of Judas Iscariots among us especially in our ministry; why You chose and called them is a total mystery, and I am so sorry how they came out to be; I have no claims to holiness nor being perfect but I thank You, Jesus, for this feast of St. Matthias whom You have called to replace Judas Iscariot to show us how much You love us, most of all, believe in us and trust us even if You know so well we could be unfaithful to You and Your call like Judas Iscariot.
I pray, therefore, O Lord, for the gift to be faithful always to Your call, to fully participate in Your choices, in Your choosing me to Your mission despite my sins and weaknesses; let me keep in mind and heart it was You who chose me and not me who chose You:
“It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.”
John 15:16
How lovely, O sweet Jesus, to find in St. Matthias Your choice to replace Judas Iscariot, a reminder from You of that fact that while there is no lack of unworthy and traitorous Christians everywhere like unfaithful spouses, corrupt officials, callous and self-centered priests and bishops, You still call each of us to counterbalance the evils they have done with our faithful witnessing to You, our Eternal Priest, Lord and Savior.
Like St. Matthias,
let us value Your call, Jesus
to continue Your mission
so maligned and destroyed
by the many Judas Iscariots
among us; like St. Matthias,
let us nourish Your choice
by remaining in You, Lord,
by keeping our choices
according to Your
holy will; in making choices
in this life, help me, Jesus
to be discerning,
to be most prayerful
like the Apostles.
So they proposed two, Joseph called Barsabas, who was also known as Justus, and Matthias. Then they prayed, “You, Lord, who know the hearts of all, show which one of these two you have chosen to take the place in this apostolic ministry from which Judas turned away to go to his own place.”
Acts 1:23-24
Lastly, I pray today on this feast of St. Matthias for people having difficulties praying to finally realize Your choices for them; for those afraid to accept Your choices; for those who keep looking for other options despite Your clear choice for them; please enlighten their minds and fill them with courage and trust in You, sweet Jesus. Amen.
Photo by author, Sacred heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Holy Wednesday, "Spy Wednesday", 27 March 2024 Isaiah 50:4-9 + + + Matthew 26:14-25
Photo by author, dusk falls at the Sacred Heart Novitiate in Novaliches, 20 March 2024.
Today is "spy Wednesday" for it was on this night when Judas Iscariot struck a deal with your enemies, Lord Jesus to betray you; tonight is said to be the night of traitors, of betrayers.
One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.
Matthew 26:14-16
Photo by author, dusk falls at the Sacred Heart Novitiate in Novaliches, 20 March 2024.
Oh how we hate, O Lord Jesus to be called a traitor, a betrayer, a Judas Iscariot! And yet, too often, it is so true of us whenever we sin, not only when we turn away from you but most of all, when we "hand you over" - the literal meaning of betrayal - when we pass you over for somebody better, for something useful and convenient.
Forgive us, Lord Jesus, for having the same Judas Iscariot within us, in collaborating with the Judas Iscariot among us when we repeatedly hand you over like a thing or a tool for our own selfish ends as we say in Filipino, "pinagpapasa-pasahan" repeatedly passed on like a thing in exchange of what or whom we find better, convenient and useful; most sad part in betrayal dear Jesus, is how we disregard the trust we have with each other and from each other.
Same photo with preceding one this time with filters.
Help me imitate you, Lord Jesus Christ like the Suffering Servant according to Isaiah in the first reading by being the person who breaks the cycle of violence and betrayal; like the psalmist today, let "zeal for your house consume me" Lord, that is, be filled with your Holy Spirit so that I may act and respond to others from my heart where you dwell not from my pains and hurts, nor from the many betrayals inflicted on me by others. Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Solemnity of the Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion-B, 24 March 2024 Isaiah 50:4-7 ]]+[[ Philippians 2:6-11 ]]+[[ Mark 15:1-39
From influencemagazine.com
As you all know by now, I turned 59 years old last Friday, March 22. For the second consecutive year, I have moved my personal annual retreat to my birthday so I can pray more, thank God more for his gift of life to me. This is one of my realizations in turning 59 years old:
"The more we enter the heart of Jesus where we find peace and fulfillment, joy and security, the more we also discover the dark and ugly sides of life. Darkness, pains, sickness, failures, and other forms of sufferings come to the fore when we are in God’s loving presence, and vice versa."
The more we see and experience God’s beauty, we also see and experience Christ’s agony and passion within our very selves and among our brothers and sisters. These two faces of life ever present in our earthly journey are perfectly shown to us by today’s celebration called “the Solemnity of the Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion.”
What we have this Sunday is actually a twin-celebration.
Palm Sunday came from the liturgy of the early Christians living in Jerusalem in the fourth century who started the Holy Week tradition with a procession of palm branches that later spread to France and Germany where the blessing of palms was introduced. Later in Rome in the 12th century, the Pope began the tradition of commemorating the Lord’s Passion on this Sunday with a proclamation of that long gospel narrating Christ’s entry into Jerusalem leading to His Last Supper until His Crucifixion and Death. It was only in 1965 during Vatican II when these two celebrations were combined into what we now have as the Solemnity of the Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion.
The merging of these two celebrations sums up the mystery we celebrate during Holy Week as well as the mystery of our everyday life wherein we have the glory of Palm Sunday in one hand and at the other hand, the darkness of our own passion as a sharing in the Pasch of the Lord.
Photo by author, Chapel of St. Francis Xavier, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, 20 March 2024.
I have intended a play in the word “hand” there as I prayed over our gospel this Sunday during my recent retreat. As directed by my Jesuit guide, I reflected on the four gospel accounts of the Lord’s Passion where I found the word “hand over” used so many times.
“To hand over” is the more literal translation of the Greek word paradidomi used by the evangelists in the “betrayal”of Jesus by Judas Iscariot. In Filipino, it is ipasa and ibigay that are more picturesque than ipagkanulo which is our equivalent of “to betray”.
Now, look at how our Filipino word ipasa takes on a deeper meaning when we reflect on how Jesus was “handed over” first by Judas Iscariot to the chief priests who then “handed him over” to Pilate who eventually “handed him over” into death by crucifixion. Pinagpasa-pasahan nila si Jesus! And that is how evil we are humans with God and with one another, using our very own hands, handing them over by manipulating them for our own selfish ends.
Then Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve, went off to the chief priests to hand him over to them. When they heard him they were pleased and promised to pay him money. Then he looked for an opportunity to hand him over… He (Judas Iscariot) came and immediately went over to him and said, “Rabbi.” And he kissed him. At this they laid hands on him and arrested him.
Mark 14:10-11, 45-46
As soon as morning came, the chief priests with the elders and the scribes, that is, the whole Sanhedrin, held a council. They bound Jesus, led him away, and handed him over to Pilate… So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd, released Barabbas to them, and after he had Jesus scourged, handed him over to be crucified.
Mark 15:1, 15
Photo by author, Chapel of St. Francis Xavier, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, 20 March 2024.
This handing over of Jesus – pinagpasa-pasahan si Jesus in Filipino took its lowest point in Matthew’s account when Pilate “took water and washed his hands in the sight of the crowd” (Mt. 27:24) to claim innocence in the Lord’s death. That’s how dirty our hands as humans have become! How ironic and tragic that the more we wash our hands in repeatedly handing over our family and friends, colleagues and even country, the more our hands have become dirty.
This Sunday, Jesus is inviting us to examine our hands, to clean our hands so that they become His hands of loving service, mercy and forgiveness, kindness and understanding and care for each other and nature. Let us remember the lessons of COVID-19 four years ago today when we constantly washed and disinfected our hands to be more responsible with each other, with nature and with life. Our problems are often the results of things getting off hand, out of control or too much control as we manipulate everything even God, persons and nations through elections as well as habits and patterns for economic and social reasons
“Ecce Homo” painting by Vicente Juan Masip (1507-1579) from masterapollon.com
It is so different with the hands of God expressed so beautifully in our first reading from the Prophet Isaiah’s Song of the Suffering Servant who was fulfilled in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.
The Lord God has given me a well trained-tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them… and I have not rebelled, have not turned back.
Isaiah 50:4, 5
Here is a beautiful picture of God in Jesus Christ whose hands we have tied so many times as we insisted on our own ways, in seeking instant gratifications, in manifesting power through sheer strength. Here lies the beauty of God’s hands in Jesus Christ so opposite with our manipulating and controlling hands because His is of submission. Or passion.
The word “passion” is from the Latin patior that means to suffer or to undergo. It is related with the words passivity and patience – exactly like patients who just lie and wait on their beds, waiting for the doctors and nurses, for them to be healed and get better.
Passion here connotes passivity in the positive sense when we strip ourselves naked before God in order to be open to new possibilities like Jesus Christ eloquently expressed by St. Paul in the second reading when He “emptied and humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil.2:7, 8).
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, June 2016.
In his Passion, Jesus taught us that true power is in weakness like him dying on the Cross. Now here we find something so interesting with the synoptics account of Christ’s death when “he breathed his last” (Mk. 15:37) leading to the faith of a Roman soldier, a pagan.
When the centurion who stood facing him saw how he breathed his last he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”
Mark 15:39
What was in Christ’s final breath that convinced the Roman centurion that Jesus was indeed the Son of God? The fourth gospel gives us the answer: When Jesus has taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.” And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit (Jn. 19:30).
Here again we find the words “handing over” but this time in the positive sense. Jesus never betrayed the Father nor anyone; he instead handed over Himself to God and to us. That is passion when we suffer passively in the positive sense because we love, we care, we understand.
For us to enter into the heart of Jesus this Holy Week, we have to enter into His passion too. That is to submit, to surrender all our powers to God through our parents and superiors by emptying ourselves of our pride to be filled with Christ’s humility, justice and love. Amen. A blessed Holy Week to everyone!
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, June 2016.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday, Feast of St. Stephen, First Martyr of the Church, 26 December 2023 Acts 6:8-10, 7:54-59 <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> Matthew 10:17-22
Photo by author, December 2017.
Every year, dear Jesus, you remind us a day after your birthday to always remember the Cross looming behind your manger in Bethlehem with the feast of our first martyr, St. Stephen; you remind us how in your coming life will be more challenging for us as your disciples.
“You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved.”
Matthew 10:22
Every year also, dear Jesus, on this day we remember and reflect on the many times life has been so difficult for us, especially in witnessing your Gospel in words and in deeds; but so often, we forget how we ourselves your disciples cause so much pains and sufferings among other disciples when we ourselves are the ones who "hand over" or betray out loved ones with our infidelities, jealousies, and greed; so often we forget how we your disciples "hand over" or betray our own family members to so much agony when couples are unfaithful to each other, when parents disregard thier children for their various pursuits in the guise of loving them, when children quarrel with each other, when children disobey their parents, and so many other sins that make our loved ones not be merry at all especially this Christmas.
For all our sins, of running away from your Cross, dear Jesus, in making others Christmas not merry, forgive us and have mercy. Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Holy Wednesday or "Spy Wednesday", 05 April 2023
Isaiah 50:4-9 >>> + <<< Matthew 26:14-25
Photo by author, balete tree at night, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 20 March 2023.
It is Holy Wednesday,
Lord Jesus Christ,
also known as "Spy Wednesday"
because it was at this time
Judas Iscariot agreed with
the chief priests to betray you.
Today, specifically tonight,
is the day of traitors and
betrayers that sad to say,
are we all many times.
Whenever we sin,
that is when we hand you over
Jesus for something else like
the thirty pieces of silver Judas was given;
but, there are times those betrayed
suffer alone, at a loss to whom
to turn to, for anyone who may encourage
them still in this life despite the pains
they have endured from loved ones who
handed them over to miseries and pains.
And so, dear Jesus, we pray
on this Holy Wednesday that we be like you
God's Suffering Servant gifted with
a well-trained tongue to speak words that
will rouse the weary and the betrayed;
that we may have the ears
willing to listen to the cries of those
betrayed and maligned;
most of all, that our faith in you
may be firm, O Lord,
so we may set our face like flint,
not giving in to violence
amid all the attacks of the evil ones,
the traitors and betrayers.
Make us firm, dear Jesus,
in our witnessing of you;
may we strive to put more love
in all our endeavors,
trusting only in you,
pure and undefiled that should
anyone betray us, we may always
be vindicated in you.
Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, 36th Anniversary of the EDSA People Power, 25 February 2022
James 5:9-12 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> Mark 10:1-12
Photo by Roger Buendia/Presidential Museum and Library via esquiremag.ph.
Forgive me, Lord,
a veteran of EDSA 1986
for having lost these past
years the joy and fervor in
celebrating your miracle at
the world's first
"People Power Revolution";
I really had no plans of praying today
so as not to remember the
February Revolution of 1986
because I have always felt
betrayed by our so-called
"EDSA heroes" who turned out
to be modern Judas Iscariots
who have used us for
their personal interests and
prostituted the People Power Revolution.
I have long felt within this pain, this anger,
frustration and disappointment at
how our supposed leaders
have wasted the victory and
most importantly, the lessons of
EDSA '86; oh how my stomach
burns in acid, making me belch
and throw up whenever I would
see or remember those traitors, Lord!
Photo from en.wikipedia.org.
But, as I prayed today and see
our nation's precarious situation,
I felt ashamed, Jesus, at how I have
acted like Judas Iscariot,
not so much in betraying EDSA '86
in some ways too
but in losing hope in you,
the giver of that precious gift of
freedom and democracy
now under threat again from the
same people who enslaved us,
aided by these traitors.
Do not complain, brothers and sisters, about one another, that you may not be judged. Indeed, we call blessed those who have persevered… let your “Yes” mean “Yes” and your “No” mean “No,” that you may not incur condemnation.
James 5:9, 11, 12b
Take our hearts so
hardened with bitterness,
frustrations and disappointments;
and yes, also of personal desires
not met after 1986 and give us
natural hearts that beat with
firm faith, fervent hope
and unceasing charity and love
for you and our Motherland.
EDSA is not just a clogged
highway of vehicles;
EDSA was first of all a sea
of humanity who have banded
together to stand for what is true,
for freedom and democracy
all meant to bring back each
person's dignity, created in your
image and likeness.
You are the God of history, Lord,
bring us back to the spirit
and ideals of EDSA '86
to claim again its grace
and promise of a matured nation
you have gathered and joined
together to become one
in Jesus your Son with his Blessed
Mother Mary who is our Mother too.
Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Holy Wednesday, a.k.a. "Spy Wedneday", 31 March 2021
Isaiah 50:4-9 ><}}}*> Matthew 26:14-25
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.
The Lord God has given me a well-trained tongue,
that I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them.
Morning after morning he opens my ear that I may hear;
and I have not rebelled, have not turned back.
(Isaiah 50:4-5)
God our loving Father in heaven, it is now the eve of the Sacred Paschal Triduum called “Spy Wednesday” or “night of traitors” when Judas Iscariot went to the chief priests and offered to “hand Jesus over” to them for thirty pieces of silver.
Bless us, dear Father, to be holy like you by being true to you in Jesus Christ.
Give us the grace to be like your “Suffering Servant” in the first reading to remain true to you by not turning our backs from you.
Let us not rebel against you especially when we insist on our own agenda and plans in life.
So many times in life we are like Judas, and even Peter, when we betray Jesus especially after breaking bread with him in the Holy Mass, when we malign people around us, spread lies about them so we may look good; when we deny knowing you or standing for family and friends because we are afraid for our safety; and, so many times we have been remiss in our responsibilities and obligations at home, in the office, in the school and in the community like the church.
Teach us to be true and holy not only to you but most especially to one another.
May we be like the tall tree that is an image of being true: firm and reliable, dependable, trustworthy, and most of all, deeply rooted in you through people we love and care and serve. Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Holy Tuesday, 30 March 2021
Isaiah 49:1-6 ><}}}*> John 13:21-33, 36-38
Photo by author, December 2020
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,
yet my reward is with the Lord,
my recompense is with my God.
(Isaiah 49:4)
So many times, dear Father in heaven, I feel like your “Suffering Servant” feeling that nothing is happening with all my efforts, with things I persevere, as if they are all useless until I realize what matters most is my being faithful to you.
Thank you for the sign of the Cross of Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord and Master: when things become so difficult and frustrating for me, I just look at him there on the cross, “dead” like me who had failed in your mission.
But as I contemplate his Cross, I remember how before all my sadness and sufferings, Jesus was there first for me to be good with others, to be kind, to be understanding, to be merciful and forgiving, to be patient, and most of all, first to be holy in being faithful to you and your call, Father.
Remind me the words of St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta that we are called to be faithful, not successful.
Let me focus more on you, Lord, instead of wondering how I have been doing, how good I have been.
Let me stop competing with others, asking who is not faithful to you, who is going to betray you like Peter during the last supper when he told the beloved disciple to clarify it with Jesus:
He leaned back against Jesus' chest
and said to him,
"Master, who is it?"
(John 13:25)
How lovely is the context of that question when what we must contemplate with is whether we have been faithful to Jesus in his Holy Eucharist.
How sad, O dear Father, that we are most unfaithful to you when we betray you right in the Eucharist – when do not listen to your words and message to us, when we do not live and practice the essence of thanksgiving to you by being faithful in witnessing Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross in our daily lives. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Week XIV, Year II in Ordinary Time, 08 July 2020
Hosea 10:1-3, 7-8, 12 <*(((><< >><)))*> Matthew 10:1-7
Photo by Dr. Mai B. Dela Peña, statues of the Twelve Apostles on the facade of the Church of our Lady of Montserrat in Spain, 2019.
How beautiful are your words today, dearest God our Father. You never fail to surprise me with your deep personal involvement with us all that you can capture exactly what is inside us without any doubt at all.
After praising Israel’s great achievements that have brought them material prosperity, you remain impartial and fair in pronouncing your judgement:
Israel is a luxuriant vine whose fruit matches its growth. The more abundant his fruit, the more altars he built. The more productive his land, the more sacred pillars he set up. Their heart is false, and now they pay for their guilt. God shall break down their altars and destroy destroy their sacred pillars.
Hosea 10:1-2
Indeed, only you can read our hearts, our inmost beings.
How many times have we been deceived by outward appearances like material prosperity in life, thinking these are the crowing glory of one’s great efforts in balancing prayer and work only to be rejected by God for their hard headedness and pride?
A heart that is false is also a heart that has turned away from you, O God; sometimes, these are not evident right away because a heart can always fake outside what is inside.
A heart that takes pride in its grand designs and visions is a heart that is false. Most of all, a heart that refuses to look into the pains and hurts of others, their shortcomings and sins, is a heart that is false because it denies humanity, its being a human flesh tormented by love amidst pains and sufferings. A heart that is false is a heart that refuses to see other hearts with many hurts because it believes more with its self than with God’s love and mercy.
A heart that is false is a heart that has refused to grow and outgrow its previously held convictions and beliefs, more intent in looking at its own heart than into Christ’s meek and humble heart, eventually betraying Jesus and loved ones.
Incline our hearts into the Father’s loving heart, dear Jesus, and give us a heart that is both true and humble, accepting our many limitations, full of hope in becoming a better person in you like your Apostles who started out like us all with imperfect hearts. Amen.
Tonight is “Spy Wednesday” – the night traitors and betrayers are put on the spotlight because it was on this night after Palm Sunday when Judas Iscariot struck a deal with the chief priests to hand them over Jesus for 30 pieces of silver (Mt. 26:14-16).
The “Tenebrae” is celebrated in some churches when candles are gradually extinguished with the beating of drums and sounding of matraca to evoke silence and some fear among people as they leave in total darkness to signal the temporary victory of evil in the world for tomorrow we enter the Paschal Triduum of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Vigil of the Lord.
From Google.
Darkness generally evokes evil and sin, uncertainties and sufferings. But, at the same time, darkness preludes light!
That is why Jesus Christ was born during the darkest night of the year to bring us light of salvation.
Beginning tonight, especially tomorrow at his agony in the garden, we shall see Christ entering through darkness reaching its climax on Friday when he dies on the cross with the whole earth covered in darkness, rising on Easter in all his glory and majesty.
Our present situation in an extended Luzon-wide lockdown offers us this unique experience of darkness within and without where we can learn some important lessons from the Lord’s dark hours beginning tomorrow evening of his Last Supper.
St. John gives us a glimpse into how we must deal with life’s darkness that plagues us almost daily with his unique story of the Lord’s washing of his disciples’ feet on the night he was betrayed.
Before the feast of Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. He loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end. The devil had already induced Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, to hand him over. So, during supper… he rose from supper and took off his outer garments. He took a towel and tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and dry them with the towel around his waist. He came to Simon Peter…
John 13:1-2, 4-6
Photo from aleteia.org.
It is very interesting to reflect how Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter dealt with their own inner darkness on that night of Holy Thursday when Jesus was arrested.
Though Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter are poles apart in their personalities, they both give us some traits that are so characteristic also of our very selves when we are in darkness. In the end, we shall see how Jesus turned the darkness of Holy Thursday into becoming the very light of Easter.
Getting lost in darkness like Judas Iscariot
Right after explaining the meaning of his washing of their feet and exhorting them to do the same to one another, Jesus begins to speak of Judas Iscariot as his betrayer.
When he had said this, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me …It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I had dipped it.” So he dipped the morsel and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. After he took the morsel, Satan entered him… and left at once. And it was night.
John 13:21, 26-27, 30
Photo from desiringgod.org
The scene is very dramatic.
Imagine the darkness outside the streets of Jerusalem in the stillness of the night and the darkness inside the Upper Room where they were staying.
More darker than that was the darkness among the Apostles not understanding what Jesus was saying about his betrayer because they thought when Judas left, he was being told to buy more wine or give money to the poor!
Most of all, imagine the darkness within Judas.
To betray means to hand over to suffering someone dear to you.
That’s one darkness we always have within, of betraying Jesus, betraying our loved ones because we have found somebody else to love more than them. Satan had taken over Judas. The same thing happens to us when we sin, when we love someone more than those who truly love us or those we have vowed to love always.
And the darkest darkness of all is after handing over our loved ones, after dumping them for something or somebody else, we realize deep within the beautiful light of truth and love imprinted in our hearts by our betrayed loved ones – then doubt it too!
The flickering light of truth and love within is short lived that we immediately extinguish it, plunging us into total darkness of destruction like Judas when he hanged himself.
See how Judas went back to the chief priests because “he had sinned”, giving them back the 30 pieces of silver to regain Jesus.
Here we find the glow of Jesus, of his teachings and friendship within Judas still etched in his heart — the light of truth and love flickering within.
Any person along with their kindness and goodness like Jesus, our family and true friends can never be removed from one’s heart and person. They will always be there, sometimes spurting out in our unguarded moments because they are very true.
That is the darkest darkness of Judas – and of some of us – who think we can never be forgiven by God, that we are doomed, that there is no more hope and any chance at all.
See how the evangelist said it: “Judas left at once. And it was night.”
And that is getting lost in darkness permanently, eaten up by darkness within us because we refuse to believe in the reality of a loving and forgiving God who had come to plunge into the darkness of death to be one with us so we can be one in him. What a loss.
Groping in the dark into the light like Peter
Photo by author, Church of Gallicantu, Jerusalem where the cock crowed after Peter denied Jesus the third time, May 2017.
Of the Twelve, it is perhaps with Simon Peter we always find ourselves identified with: the eager beaver, almost a “bolero” type who is so good in speaking but many times cannot walk his talk.
“Master, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.”
John 13:6-8
Here is Peter so typical of us: always assuming of knowing what is right, which is best, as if we have a monopoly of the light when in fact we are in darkness.
See how during the trial of Jesus before the priests, Peter denied him thrice, declaring he never knew Jesus while outside in the dark, completely in contrast with Jesus brilliantly answering every question and false accusation against him inside among his accusers!
Many times in our lives, it is so easy for us to speak on everything when we are in our comfort zones, safe and secured in our lives and career. But when left or thrown out into the harsh realities of life, we grope in the darkness of ignorance and incompetence, trials and difficulties.
How often we are like Peter refusing Jesus to wash our feet because we could not accept the Lord being so humble to do that simply because he is the Lord and Master who must never bow low before anyone.
And that is one darkness we refuse to let go now shaken and shattered by the pandemic lockdown! The people we used to look down upon are mostly now in the frontlines providing us with all the comforts we enjoy in this crisis like electricity, internet, security, food, and other basic services.
Bronze statue of the call of Peter by Jesus. Photo by author, May 2017.
We have always thought of the world, of peoples in hierarchy, in certain status where there are clear delineations and levels of importance, totally forgetting the lessons of Jesus of being like a child, of service and humility: “whoever wants to be great must be the least and servant of all.”
According to Matthew and Luke, Peter realized his sins – the darkness within him – of denying Jesus thrice after the cock crowed that he left the scene weeping bitterly, feeling so sorry. Eventually after Easter, Peter would meet Jesus again on the shores of the Lake of Tiberias, asking him thrice, “do you love me?”
Peter realized how dark his world has always been but in that instance when he declared his love that is so limited and weak did he finally see the light of Christ in his love and mercy!
Unlike Judas, Peter moved out of darkness and finally saw the light in the Risen Lord right in the very place where everything started when he was called to be a fisher of men, in his humanity as he was called by his original name, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?”.
Human love is always imperfect and Jesus knows this perfectly well!
The best way to step out of darkness within us is to be like Simon — simply be your imperfect self, accepting one’s sins and weakness for that is when we can truly love Jesus who is the only one who can love us perfectly.
Overcoming darkness in, Jesus, with Jesus, through Jesus
Though the fourth gospel and the synoptic gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke differ in providing us with the transition from the Upper Room of the Last Supper into the agony in the garden, the four evangelists provide us with one clear message at how Jesus faced darkness: with prayer, of being one in the Father.
Even on the cross of widespread darkness, Jesus spoke only to pray to the Father.
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to feel sorrow and distress.
Matthew 26:36-37
Photo by author, altar of the Church of All Nations beside the Garden of Gethsemane, May 2017. The church is always dimly lit to keep the sense of darkness during the Agony in the Garden of Jesus.
Before, darkness for man was seen more as a curse falling under the realm of evil and sin; but, with the coming of Jesus, darkness became a blessing, a prelude to the coming of light.
We have mentioned at the start of our reflection that Jesus was born during the darkest night of the year to show us he that is the light of the world, who had come to enlighten us in this widespread darkness, within us and outside us.
As the light of the world, Jesus was no stranger to darkness which he conquered and tamed in many instances like when they were caught in a storm at sea and in fact, when walked on water to join his disciples caught in another storm.
But most of all, Jesus had befriended darkness and made it a prelude to light.
How? By always praying during darkness. By prayer, it is more than reciting some prayers common during his time as a Jew but as a form of submission to the will of the Father. Jesus befriended darkness by setting aside, forgetting his very self to let the Father’s will be done.
Bass relief of agony in the garden on the wall of the Church of All Nations at Gethsemane. Photo by author, May 2019.
This he showed so well in two instances, first on Mount Tabor where he transfigured and second in Gethsemane before his arrest.
In both events, Jesus showed us the path to overcoming darkness is always through prayers, of being one in the Father.
It is in darkness when God is most closest to us because it is then when we get a glimpse of himself, of his love and mercy, of his own sufferings and pains, and of his glory.
This is something the three privileged disciples – Simon Peter, James and his brother John – did not realize while being with Jesus at both instances until after Easter. We are those three who always fall asleep, who could not keep with praying in Jesus, with Jesus, and through Jesus.
It was in the darkness of the night when Jesus spent most of his prayer periods, communing with the Father up in a mountain or a deserted place.
On Mount Tabor, Jesus showed his coming glory while in Gethsemane he showed his coming suffering and death. But whether in Gethsemane or on Mount Tabor, it is always Jesus we meet inviting us to share in his oneness with the Father, in his power in the Holy Spirit to overcome every darkness in life.
And the good news is he had already won for us!
Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News of Mt. Samat with the Memorial Cross across the Manila Bay following clear skies resulting from the lockdown imposed since March 17, 2020.
In these extended darker days of quarantine period, let us come to the Lord closer in prayer to. experience more of his Passion and Death, more of his darkness so we may see his coming glory when everything is finally cleared in this corona pandemic.
Prayer does not necessarily change things but primarily changes the person first. And that is when prayer changes everything when we become like Jesus in praying.
Jesus is asking us to leave everything behind, to forget one’s self anew to rediscover him in this darkness when we get out of our comfort zones to see the many sufferings he continues to endure with our brothers and sisters with lesser things in this life, with those in total darkness, with those groping in the dark.
Now more than ever, we have realized the beauty of poverty and simplicity, of persons than things.
And most especially of darkness itself becoming light for us in this tunnel.
May Jesus enlighten us and vanish all darkness in us so that soon, we shall celebrate together the joy of his coming again in this world darkened by sin. Amen.