Si Ned at si San Martin ng Tours

Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-15 ng Nobyembre 2023

Ang kauna-unahang may sakit na aking pinahiran ng Banal na Langis ay ang tiyahin ng aking ina na kung tawagin namin ay Ned. Ayon sa nanay ng aming ina na Ate ng Ned, utal daw kasi ang dalawang nauna niyang anak at hindi masabi ang Nana Cedeng (o Chedeng), ang palayaw ng kanyang tunay na pangalang Mercedes.

Kaya, naging Ned na ang nagisnang tawag ng mga mommy ko at pati na kaming magpipinsan na kanyang mga apo. Walang anak ang Ned dahil maaga siyang nabiyuda nang magka-cancer ang kanyang kabiyak na siyang tunay na taga-Bocaue, Bulacan. Mula sa Aliaga, Nueva Ecija ang mga lola ko sa panig ng aking ina na mula sa angkan ng mga Bocobo.

Nang ako ay magdiriwang ng aking Primera Misa Solemne bilang bagong orden na pari noong ika-26 ng Abril 1998, hindi na nakapaglalakad ang Ned kaya bago kami magprusisyon, siya ay aking dinalaw at pinahiran ng Langis ng Maysakit. Pagkaraan ng ilang Linggo, sinugod siya sa ospital dahil sa stroke at nag-comatose kaya kinailangang ipasok sa ICU. Hindi naman siya kaagad namatay tulad ng iba kong pinahiran ng Langis ng Maysakit….

Pagkaraan ng isang linggo, inilipat na siya ng regular na silid at aking dinalaw. Hindi naapektuhan ng stroke ang kanyang pananalita. Tumingin siya ng matagal sa akin at pagkaraan ay hiniling na lumapit sa kanya.

“Mayroon akong ikukuwento sa iyo, Father, pero hindi ko alam kung ikaw ay maniniwala” sabi niya sa akin. Hinagod ko kanyang noo gaya ng ginawa niya sa akin noong ako ay natigdas nang bata pa. “Ano po inyong sasabihin?”, tanong ko sa kanya.

Larawan kuha ni G. Bryan San Luis, Kapistahan ni San Martin ng Tours, Patron ng Bayan ng Bocaue, Bulacan, 11 Nobyembre 2023.

“Father… ako e namatay na. Ang natatandaan ko lang ay naglalakad ako mag-isa sa madilim na kalsada. Maya-maya may nakita akong liwanag at bigla mayroong sumalubong sa aking mama na naka-kabayong puti. Sinabi sa akin nung mama, ‘Cedeng, magbalik ka na ika… hindi mo pa oras.'”

Sabi ng Ned, kaagad naman siyang tumalikod at naglakad pabalik ngunit muli niyang nilingon yung mama na naka-kabayo. Tinanong daw niya, “Hindi ba kayo si San Martin ng Tours?” At sumagot naman daw yung mama na siya nga si San Martin ng Tours. “E paano po ninyo ako nakilalang si Cedeng?” tanong daw niya. Sumagot daw si San Martin, “Paanong hindi kita makikilala, Cedeng, e kada piyesta ng Mahal na Krus at kapistahan ko ay nagsisimba ka palagi sa Bocaue?” Nangiti raw si San Martin sa kanya at di na niya nalaman ang mga sumunod maliban sa makita sarili niya naroon na sa ospital.

Wala daw siyang pinagsabihan ng karanasang iyon maliban sa akin dahil ako ay pari. At muli niya akong tinanong, “naniniwala ka ba Father na pinabalik ako dito ni San Martin ng Tours?” Hinagod ko muli ang noo ng Ned at sinabi ko sa kanyang “Opo, naniniwala po ako sa inyo.”

Larawan kuha ni G. Bryan San Luis, si San Martin aming Patron kasama ang Mahal na Krus sa Wawa na amin ding ipinagpipista tuwing buwan ng Hulyo sakay ng pagoda sa Ilog ng Bocaue.

Tumagal pa ang Ned ng limang taon bago siya pumanaw noong ika-5 ng Hulyo, 2003. Mismong sa harap ko siya namatay nang siya ay aking dalawin matapos ako magmisa sa kapit-bahay niyang namatay.

Naku, kay laking isyu noon sa aming lugar ang pagkamatay ng Ned. Ako sinisisi ng matatanda kasi daw inuna kong puntahan ang patay bago ang buhay! Ewan ko sa kanila ngunit pagpapala ang aking naranasan at nakita sa pangyayari: nang malagutan ng hininga ang Ned sa harap ko, kaagad kong tinawag ang kanyang tagapag-alaga, pinahiran ko pa rin siya ng Banal na Langis, at nang matiyak na patay na siya, kaagad akong nagmisa mag-isa doon sa kanyang silid kasama malamig niyang bangkay. (Ewan ko ba. Dalawang pari na rin, parehong Monsignor, ang namatay sa harapan ko at sa pangangalaga ko.) .

Palagi ko ikinukuwento ang “near-death experience” na iyon ng aking Lola hindi lamang sa dahil kakaiba kungdi mayroong malalim na katotohanang inihahayag – ang pagmamahal sa ating parokya, ang pananalangin ng mga Banal sa atin at higit sa lahat, ang kahalagahan ng Banal na Misa na siyang “daluyan ng lahat ng biyaya at rurok ng buhay Kristiyano” ayon sa Vatican II. Wika ni San Juan Pablo II, sa Banal na Misa aniya ay mayroong cosmic reality

Nang magkaroon ako ng sariling parokya noong 2011, isa iyon sa mga una kong kinuwento sa mga tao upang ituro pagmamahal sa kanilang parokya. Ipinaliwanag ko sa kanilang ang mga Banal na mga Patron ng parokya ang unang nangangalaga sa mga mananampalataya, ang ating mga tagapagdasal doon sa langit, mga taga-pamagitan.

Larawan kuha ni G. Bryan San Luis, prusisyon noong Kapistahan ni San Martin ng Tours, Patron ng Bayan ng Bocaue, Bulacan, 11 Nobyembre 2023.

Naniniwala ako na si San Martin ng Tours ang sumalubong kay Ned kasi nga hindi pa naman niya oras, kaya wala pang paghuhukom na naganap sa kanya na tanging si Jesu-Kristo lang ang makagagawa.

Ang pinaka-gusto kong bahagi ng kanyang kuwento ay ang kanilang usapan kung paano nakilala ni San Martin ang aking Lola sa tunay niyang palayaw na Cedeng. At hindi Ned.

Ipinakikita nito sa atin ang kahalagahan ng pagsisimba tuwing Linggo at mga pistang pangilin sa simbahan lalo ngayon panahon na akala ng marami ay sapat na ang online Mass. Ang Banal na Misa ay “dress rehearsal” natin ng pagpasok sa Langit. Kay sarap isipin na bukod sa Panginoon at Mahal na Birheng Maria na sasalubong sa atin doon ay kasama din ang Patron ng ating Parokya na kinabibilangan natin. Nakalulungkot maraming tao ngayon ni hindi rin alam kung ano at saan kanilang parokya! Alalahanin mga nakita ni San Juan Ebanghelista sa langit habang siya ay nabubuhay pa upang isulat sa Aklat ng Pahayag:

At narinig ko ang isang tinig mula sa langit na nagsasabi, “Isulat mo ito: Mula ngayon, mapapalad ang naglilingkod sa Panginoon hanggang kamatayan!” “Tunay nga,” sabi ng Espiritu. Magpapahinga na sila sa kanilang pagpapagal; sapagkat susundan sila ng kanilang mga gawa.”

Pahayag 14:13

Anu-ano nga ba ating mga pinagkakaabalahanan sa buhay ngayon? Anu-ano ating pinag-gagawa na susundan tayo sa kabilang buhay upang ating ipagpatuloy? Kabutihan ba o kasamaan? Huwag nating sayangin pagkakataong ipinagkakaloob sa atin ng Diyos ngayon. Siya nawa.

San Martin ng Tours, ipanalangin mo kami.

Larawan mula sa flickr.com ng isang icon ni San Martin ng Tours hinahati kanyang kapa para sa isang pulubi.

True authority leads to humility

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Memorial of St. Albert the Great, Doctor of the Church, 15 November 2023
Wisdom 6:1-11   ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*>   Luke 17:11-19
Photo by author, Jesuit Cemetery, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 21 March 2023.
Thank you dear God
for the gift of authority,
a share in your authority 
to govern other people regardless
if they are a few or a handful of
loosely organized people like
family and friends
or a large number of subjects
in our work or organization,
community and the Church,
and the whole nation.
But most especially,
we pray for our civil and 
Church people of authority
to heed your counsel:

To you therefore O princes are my words addressed that you may learn wisdom and that you may not sin. For those who keep the holy precepts hallowed shall be found holy, and those learned in them will have ready a response. Desire therefore my words; long for them and you shall be instructed.

Wisdom 6:9-11
You have sent us your Son,
our Lord Jesus Christ as the
perfect example of authority figure,
who spoke with authority during his time
because his authority is a sharing
in your authority, Father,
an expression of his perfect 
obedience to you; 
let us realize that every authority 
must be lived in total obedience
to you, O God, like Jesus.
When authority is lived in obedience,
those in authority become humble,
getting closer to their subjects
especially those in the margins
like the weak and the sick;
the Samaritan leper was the only one
who returned to Jesus to thank him
because not only because 
he was the least of the ten
lepers being an outsider;
but, most of all, he humbly
and gratefully returned to thank Jesus
because he lived his obedience with
authority, Jesus whom he called Master.

Like St. Albert the Great
whose feast we celebrate today,
patron of scientists and a man
of learning and wisdom who held 
great authority in his Order
and in the Church in Germany 
during his time, may we always
live our authority in obedience
and live obedience with authority
to lead us all into humility
like Jesus Christ.
Amen. 

Semper fidelis

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Thirty-Second Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 14 November 2023
Wisdom 2:23-3:9   ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'>   Luke 17:7-10
Photo by author, Ubihan Island, Obando, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.
Your words today, O God,
remind me of your fidelity,
of your being always faithful
even beyond death.

How reassuring are your words
in the first reading of your great love
for us, "forming us to be imperishable;
the image of your own nature.  
But by the envy of the Devil,
death entered the world,
but the souls of the just are 
in the hand of God,
no torment shall touch them"
(Wisdom 2:23-24, 3:1).
From the very beginning,
you have assured us of 
grace and mercy;
keep us faithful to you always,
seeing everything we have 
is a blessing by living a life in faith
in Jesus Christ which is 
a life of love
too!  

What an honor to serve you,
dear Father, in love and fidelity;
like those servants in the parable,
may we seek only Jesus,
always Jesus so that
in the end of our lives,
we may truly know you
by being with you 
in Heaven in all eternity.
Amen.

Living in the end of time

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Sunday in the Thirty-second Week of Ordinary Time, Cycle A, 12 November 2023
Wisdom 6:12-16 ><}}}}*> 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 ><}}}}*> Matthew 25:1-13
Photo by author, PDDM Chapel, James Alberione Center, G. Araneta Ave., QC, 09 November 2023.

For the next two Sundays before the Solemnity of Christ the King, our readings deal with the urgency of the end of time, of the final judgment when Jesus comes again. Every Sunday in the Mass we profess in the Creed that “Jesus will come again to judge the living and the dead” and proclaim after Consecration that “Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again!”

But, do we really take Christ’s Second Coming to our hearts?

Maybe not at all if you scan the social media like Facebook or the news these days. Many people live as if there is no God nor final judgment. Worst, many have lost the virtue of waiting as nobody waits anymore in this age of instants! So unlike the Thessalonians during the time of St. Paul who all believed Jesus would come again in their lifetime. In fact, they were even so concerned with the sequence of entrance to heaven after some of them died ahead of the Parousia (Greek for Christ’s Second Coming). In explaining Christ’s return at the end of time, St. Paul insisted on two important points in his letter we have heard today.

Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.

First, the Resurrection of Jesus is the beginning of the end of time. We have to live daily as if it is the end of time. Easter is not an isolated event in the past; it is directly linked with everyone for all ages. Like Jesus, all those who have died shall go through “general resurrection” at the end of time when he comes again anytime he wishes. “For if we believe that Jesus died and rose, so too will God, through Jesus, bring with him those who have fallen asleep” (1 Thes. 4:14).

Second, the Parousia is God’s final victory over sin and death. Jesus had definitively won over sin and death on the Cross on Good Friday but its “powers” would finally cease and end at the end of time when Christ comes again to start anew everything in God with “new heaven, new earth”. That is why while awaiting his Parousia, we persevere in witnessing his gospel message of salvation amid the many sufferings we go through in this world like diseases and sickness, famine and poverty, wars and violence.

Here lies our problem – and foolishness – when we turn away from God, refusing to wait by falling into the devil’s temptation of “turning stones into bread” for instant solutions that have left us more divided, more miserable. We need faith in God who is our oil to keep our lamps aglow, giving light in this dark world even if we “become drowsy and fall asleep” while awaiting Christ’s return.

Jesus told the disciples this parable: “The Kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

Matthew 25:1-5
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 2016.

Nobody knows when the Parousia will happen, not even Jesus except the Father. But the good news is that Jesus assures us today that it is normal to be drowsy and fall asleep in our lives while awaiting his final coming.

There are times we get so used to the darkness around us in life that we become cynical and even indifferent in our attitudes. We fall asleep, choosing to be mere bystanders, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, saying nothing, and doing nothing.

It is not good, of course. But, it can happen as we find our hands so full of our own personal and family issues that many times, we would opt to just “pray” than actively take part in advocacies and crusades against the many problems that plague the world today from poverty to hunger, wars and violence, human trafficking and prostitution to the destruction of our environment and climate change.

Becoming drowsy and falling asleep mean we get tired of all the problems and chaos in the world, even in our personal lives that we just want to stop and be detached, away from all troubles. No more dramas. To be silent until Jesus Christ comes to us in the dead of the night. Like the wise virgins, we keep focused on Jesus even if we become drowsy and fall asleep in his sure arrival.

Photo by Irina Anastasiu on Pexels.com

Being foolish like those other five virgins in the parable is abandoning God, not waiting for him, being busy with worldly concerns without thinking and looking into the wider horizons of life and realities.

Many times, the world seeks quick fixes to our many problems only to create bigger problems. Jesus had to wait until the hearts of the more than 5000 people who have followed him in the wilderness were opened to God and to one another before he miraculously fed them with bread and fish.

Being wise is having faith in God with good works. How sad that many people have foolishly turned away from God, even declared “God is dead” as they relied more on themselves and their technologies and modern thoughts that are often old mistakes in the past being repeated. Our bodies may get tired but never should we let our minds and spirits droop and fall behind, joining the materialistic and selfish bandwagon of the world. Being wise is to continuously seek God and his ways for a more meaningful way of living. This is the message of the author of the Book of Wisdom we heard today where God is personified as Wisdom like a beloved being sought.

Resplendent and unfading is wisdom, and she is readily perceived by those who love her, and found by those who seek her… because she makes her own rounds, seeking those worthy of her, and graciously appears to them in the ways, and meets them with all solicitude.

Wisdom 6:12, 16
Photo by author, 2019.

God is never far from those who truly seek him, who truly await him. There are always delays as God takes time before coming to us until we are ready for him and his plans.

There are many times in life that the solution to our problems require long waiting not only to find the best answers but most of all to purify our very selves. After all, the problems in the world are mere reflections of what is within each one of us as Jesuit Fr. Manoling Francisco expressed in his song One More Gift.

This is the sad thing with social media around us. Many times, some people use social media only to advance their own agendas that only add flames of hatred and violence. Instead of gathering first the facts and evaluating them prayerfully, we tend to react quickly, becoming emotional that we forget the face of every human person already suffering on the ground, regardless of their color and creed, thus continue the cycle of sins and evil.

Being wise is being grounded in Jesus, believing and trusting in his presence among us in everyone, that he shall surely come to save us and change everything for the best. Far from making us nervous and anxious, discouraged and careless in the uncertainty of his Second Coming, Jesus invites us today to be watchful and attentive to his presence especially in our Sunday Mass when we live in the end time, rehearsing our entrance into heaven as we wait. Amen. Have a blessed week!

On crying & giving permission to die

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 10 November 2023
Lady of Sorrows from a triptych by the Master of the Stauffenberg Altarpiece, Alsace c. 1455; photo from fraangelicoinstitute.com.

There’s a beautiful interplay between crying and living. And dying.

When we were growing up as kids, siesta was obligatory at home. It was a moral ought that my mom would tell us stories in bed to fall asleep, always holding a copy of the Reader’s Digest with its beautiful pictures and illustrations.

One siesta time, the image of a newborn baby being delivered caught my eyes from the copy of the Reader’s Digest my mom was holding. Then the next illustration struck me – I was about four or five years old – as it showed the doctor held the baby upside down, crying so hard after being spanked by the doctor! My mom explained to me that’s the way it is with babies when they are born: if they cry, that means they are alive but if they do not cry, the doctor had to spank the baby in order to cry and be alive.

That was my first lesson about life strongly etched in my mind. As I grew up and matured, especially after being ordained as priest, I realized deeper meanings from that simple explanation of my mom: crying is part of our lives. If we get hurt, if we suffer, if we cry, that means we are still alive.

Photo by Daniel Reche on Pexels.com

Many times in life for us to live, we have to kick hard and cry so hard enough like newborn babies to breathe and be alive. It is in crying we realize so many things in life, about real friendships and relationships, about joy and sadness. There are times we cry not only when in pain and agony but even when we experience joy. In fact, our most profound experiences in life are best expressed with tears when we cry, best when in silence and alone.

Crying is life’s most wonderful and effective response to any experience in life so burdened by many things (see our previous blog, https://lordmychef.com/2021/11/23/on-shedding-tears-and-crying/).

But, death had also taught me something so amazing and lovely about crying. I consider it as the other side of crying. And of life.

Photo by author, Baguio City, August 2023.

It happened when my best friend, Gil died in 2015. He asked me in February that year to pray for his long-delayed medical checkup; that same night, he called me again that his doctor had him confined for suspected cancer. After a series of tests, he had radiation then surgery after which followed his series of chemotherapy.

Gil cried a lot when diagnosed with cancer. He was angry and bitter with his sickness. And for a good reason because among us from high school seminary, he was the healthiest and most health conscious! I knew it because when news of that mad cow disease from Europe broke in early 2000, he stopped eating beef even burgers!

In mid September, her Ate Lily called me that doctors had told them Gil’s cancer cells were very aggressive and would have a short time to live. It was a Sunday and we his friends rushed to Makati Med that afternoon. I came to visit him for another three days before he died early Sunday morning, September 22, 2015.

It was during his final week in the hospital when he asked me for a “permission to die” (see our blog, https://lordmychef.com/2023/11/08/giving-permission-to-die/). Gil simply told me he was ready to go. His face was radiant and light, he was so at peace on his hospital bed as he gave me other final instructions for his kids and ex-wife.

I could not say anything except cried. And I cried so hard, especially as I anointed him with holy oil and prayed the commendation to the dying. It was from Gil that I realized the dying receive that special grace of knowing the end, possibly even of seeing heaven that is why they are always so composed like Jesus Christ on the Cross on Good Friday. I told him how I wish I could have that same courage in facing death when my time comes. He assured me God would give me that grace too.

From that experience, I realized when people get sick, they cry because that’s when death faced them. Who would not cry and be terrified? We their friends and family in turn, console them. The inverse happens when they approach death: they are so composed, we their family and friends are the ones crying. And the one dying are the ones consoling us! When they die, we cry. Why? Because we do not know what happens next, of what lies ahead when our loved ones are gone. Paano na tayong naiwan? That’s the saddest and scariest part of life when someone dear to us dies.

In 1999, St. John Paul II wrote a letter to his fellow elderly where he said that the grace of getting old is to be able to look back to the past with gratitude and to look forward to the future with joyful anticipation of eternity. That holy Pope must have been seeing heaven while still here on earth!

Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, 06 November 2023.

It is in death when we see its strange contrast with life, of how when we were born, we cried and kicked hard to be alive while those around us rejoiced with the gift of life; when we die, we do not cry because we are already joyful with the coming bliss while those around us are filled with grief and sadness, crying not only with our demise but because they do not know what lies ahead.

In both instances, we find the grace of God so pronounced, so present that indeed, St. Paul was absolutely right:

None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself. For if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord; so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

Romans 14:7-8

When we were growing up, there was a baby shampoo that advertised itself so mild that would not hurt your eyes, marketing itself with the words “No more tears”. It also played a commercial of a young boy going to shampoo his hair declaring, “a man should not cry” to bolster that old belief that crying is weakness.

At the sermon on the mount, Jesus taught us one of the beatitudes as “Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Mt. 5:4). I love using this gospel in funeral Masses. Where is the blessedness of mourning the death of a loved one? What is good with mourning, with crying?

Answer: love.

Blessed are those who mourn because they have love in their hearts. We cry at the death of a beloved because we love them. But, the greatest blessing we have when we mourn is from the love we have experienced from the one who had died. It is said that “if you have love in your heart, you have been blessed by God; if you have been loved, you have been touched by God.”

We are blessed when we mourn, when we cry at the death of a beloved because they loved us, they gave us a glimpse of God, they made us experience God’s love in their love! Is it not a tremendous blessing indeed?

We are so blessed these days that crying is no longer considered as a sign of weakness but actually of strength – the strength to live and the strength to forge on in life after the death of a beloved. Cheers to our tears that keep us alive! Have a wonderful weekend!

Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 2021.

The ones we miss most

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of St. Leo the Great, Pope & Doctor of the Church, 10 November 2023
Romans 15:14-21 ><]]]]’> + ><]]]]’> + ><]]]]’> Luke 16:1-8
Photo by author, San Juan, La Union, July 2023.
I just realized today,
God our Father,
how the word “miss”
has a variety of meanings:
as something we failed or
something or someone we remember
or, someone or something we
forget and neglected.
How sad that very often,
the people we miss -
those we forget,
even taken for granted
because they are common,
are those nearest to us like
family and friends,
those in our inner circles.

Thus I aspire to proclaim the Gospel not where Christ has already been named, so that I do not build on another’s foundation, but as it is written: Those who have never been told of him shall see, and those who have never heard of him shall understand.

Romans 15:20-21
Is it not so funny that the 
ones we meet inside the church
every day and every Sunday are
also the very ones who are
like us - evangelized or simply
know Jesus and his teachings;
but, where are the rest?
the unchurched?
the ones we say who must hear the
good news?
Lord Jesus Christ,
teach us to be wise like
that steward in your parable today:
to save face and himself, he went to
see his master’s debtors he himself
must have missed,
disregarded and never given any
importance at all because they
were common, below him in stature;
let us realize like that shrewd steward,
like St. Paul to look for those we
miss most because of proximity
and ordinariness; they could be our
family members who have stopped praying
or celebrating Mass
or those living closest to our church
or chapel and have lost interest in the
sacraments and liturgy
or former colleagues in the ministry
who have lapsed in their practice
of faith.
Let us go out today
to find them and make them
feel and experience they are
loved,
they are missed most
in Christ Jesus.
Amen.

Cleanse us, O Lord!

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Feast of the Dedication of St. John Lateran, 09 November 2023
Ezekiel 47:1-2, 8-9, 12 ><)))*> 1 Corinthians 3:9-11, 16-17 ><)))*> John 2:13-22
Photo by Arch. Philip Santiago, St. John Lateran in Rome, 2022.
Praise and glory to you,
God our loving Father
in choosing to dwell in us
your people
as your temple;
how sad we have always 
desecrated ourselves and 
houses of worship with sin and evil
yet you never stopped 
building us up over and over
in Jesus Christ
as your dwelling place.

Brothers and sisters: You are God’s building. Do you not know that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

1 Corithians 3:9, 16
Please, come again, Lord Jesus;
come more often to us your people
especially to us your priests,
to cleanse us of all filth of pride and conceit
when we eject you from the Eucharist 
by making it our own celebration, 
making a mockery of your sacrifice 
we have turned into a carnival, 
a spectacle for entertainment 
in the name of money and fame; 
forgive us, Jesus, 
in misleading the people,
 using God like in the temple of Jerusalem;
shame on us when we preach
more of ourselves and interests
than your words that free the people
from bondage to sin and disease;
cleanse us, O Lord, so that life 
may spring forth again from our parishes 
where people experience your love and mercy
that "Wherever the river flows,
every sort of living creature that can
multiply shall live, and there shall be
abundant fish, for wherever this water
comes the sea shall be made fresh"
(Ezekiel 47:9).
Come, Lord Jesus,
bind us again like cords,
whip us if necessary,
awaken our pastors and bishops
who have forgotten your call
to shepherd your people,
choosing to graze in the green
pastures of the rich and powerful
enclosed in their buildings and
ivory towers bereft of
your spirit and life;
awaken your people too
in the spirit of synodality
to stand for what is true and sacred,
to demand from religious leaders
to give only you, Jesus,
always you, Jesus.
Amen.

Giving permission to die

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 08 November 2023
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.

A very dear friend died last October 16 after more than three years of fighting cancer. She used to be one of our elementary teachers at the school I was first assigned after ordination. She later resigned to teach abroad but every year whenever she was home for summer vacation, she always invited me to join their mini-reunions of former co-teachers.

Everything changed in 2020 when she had to retire early to return home for her cancer treatment. We could not visit her during the pandemic lockdown, occasionally meeting her via zoom and video phone calls. When COVID subsided a little in late 2021 and early 2022, we finally met briefly. She seemed to be responding well to her chemotherapy except that she had lost hair that was natural. Last December, we were finally able to go out with other fellow co-teachers twice after Christmas and after New Year’s day last January. We were so glad she had regained weight and strength. And hair too!

Saw her again last June but in late August, she stopped answering our messages. It turned out that her cancer had metastasized to her lungs and liver. When I came to see her October 7, the first thing she told me was for me to “allow her to die”. According to her brothers and elder sister, she had also asked them for “permission to die” earlier that night because she said, she was already tired and was ready to go back to God.

Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.

It was not the first time somebody had asked me a “permission to die”, especially since I have become a hospital chaplain two years ago. But, I must confess, in all instances, there was always hesitancy on my part in giving “permission to die” especially when those dying are close to me like friends and relatives. In fact, the first person who asked me “permission to die” was my best friend from high school seminary. I just cried, said nothing when he calmly told me he was ready to go.

That scene remains vivid to my memory to this day, including the many lessons he had taught about life and dying.

By the way, let me put it clear that what we are referring here as giving “permission to die” is allowing death take its natural course, not mercy killing or euthanasia which is intrinsically evil we should never allow.

In my 25 years in the priesthood, two years as hospital chaplain since 2021, I have always felt the process of dying as a “grace-filled moment” too like in the birth of an infant or recovery of a sick person. Both the dying and their family and friends are blessed when death approaches or had come, like when Jesus visited Martha and Mary four days after the death of their brother Lazarus. That scene of Jesus speaking to Martha before bringing Lazarus back to life assures us of how God had turned death into a blessing in Christ: Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (Jn. 11:25-26)

Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 06 November 2023.

If we believe Jesus and his words to Martha, we too shall find him coming to us when a beloved is dying, especially when they ask us that “permission to die” which is not actually a permission per se because only God decides when we are going to die.

When patients ask for “permission to die”, they are actually bidding us goodbye. Dying people always knew when they had to go because they have already accepted the reality. This is very noticeable at the serenity, even of joy, on their face. Despite their sickness, dying patients who have truly made peace with God and had given up everything to Him always have that grace of composure like Jesus when he died on the Cross, crying his same prayer, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit” (Lk.23:46).

Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, September 2021.

Giving “permission to die” is a grace from God He gives to relatives and friends to accept and embrace that difficult reality.

“Permitting” our loved ones to die is to assure them of our love and forgiveness of their sins against us. It is our final act of love for them when we assist them to that great passageway onto eternity like when we would lead our guests out to the door to ensure them our separation is just temporary until we meet again soon.

Due to this great amount of love in our final goodbyes, some people sometimes “fake” their dying moments, creating a “drama” in asking “permission to die” when actually, they are not yet ready to die but merely demanding love and care from family and friends. One clear sign is they tend to be more cerebral than cordial, becoming bitter and angry than ever. Even amid sufferings, they think more of themselves than feel others around them. Like the boy who cried wolf, they have not yet really seen death approaching because most likely, they have not yet faced life and living truly. Coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life. When loved ones “fake” their dying, what they really seek is how to live fully and responsibly, to be their true self. But that’s a different topic…

Photo by author, Malagos Orchid Farm, Davao City, 2017.

Death is the most terrifying moment in life because we do not know what’s next, where we are going. That is why, when people truly mean that they have accepted death, that is also when they have accepted life in its fullness. They do not reason out. They just feel God and those around them. Most of all, they have peace within amid pains.

The same thing happens with us relatives and friends of the dying. We feel their sense of peace within, affecting us, infecting us. Hence, we get lost at how to express our giving them of that permission to die. Very often, we cry because our hearts overflow with love. When we feel their seeking of permission to die is genuine, our mouths and tongues are shut, incapable of expressing our love for them that is diverted into our eyes as tears, bursting forth like waters from a collapsed dam that cleanse also us of our fears and sadness at our impending loss.

Finally, giving permission to die to our beloved is an expression of our faith in God, affirming we all came from God and would someday go home to God in heaven. Thus, giving permission to die is actually to comfort – literally, “to give strength to” – the dying of their faith in God while facing their final tests and temptations in life, assuring them that soon, we shall join them in eternal joy.

Many times, our family and friends suffer so much before death because of our refusal to let them go too. We keep on holding them back that terrify them in making the great crossover. Giving them permission to die is easing and sharing their fears so they can finally let go and let God, that is, die – the meaning of the letter “d” that stands between the words “go” and “God”. According to the prayer by St. Francis of Assisi, it is in dying when we are born into eternal life. Amen.

*Aside from All Saints’ Day and All Souls Day, the whole month of November is a traditional time for visiting the graves of our loved ones. Go and offer them prayers, especially that “permission to die” if you are still holding them and have not yet let them go.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“I-love-you” means “I-O-U”

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday in the Thirty-first Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 08 November 2023
Romans 13:8-10   ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*>   Luke 14:25-33
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2023.
How can I not resist
by simply being silent,
O God our Father,
with your beautiful words 
spoken today by the great
St. Paul?

Brothers and sisters: Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. Love does no evil to the neighbors; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.

Romans 13:8, 10
But, what is really love,
according to St. Paul?
Since yesterday, 
he has been telling us
to love sincerely which is
to love like Jesus Christ 
who offered himself for us
on the Cross;
to love like Jesus as the 
fulfillment of the law is
to love without measure
because it is rooted in you,
dear God who is love yourself,
God who is both transcendent
and immanent!
In telling us to love one another,
Jesus clarified with his love that
you neither order nor command us to
love you, God, in the strict sense;
you ask us to love
because you love us,
because you are love, O God;
when we love, 
we fulfill your commandments,
enabling us to live in peace 
and harmony with one another
like in heaven;
"I-love-you" is the only "I-O-U",
the only debt never paid off
because the more we love,
the more we become like you
in Jesus Christ,
eternal and without end.
Amen.

Love sincerely

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Thirty-first Week of Ordinary Time, Year I, 07 November 2023
Romans 12:5-16   ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'>   Luke 14:15-24
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.
God our merciful Father:
let us love sincerely
like your Son Jesus Christ
as St. Paul beautifully tells us
in today's first reading:

Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor. Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, and serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, and persevere in prayer.

Romans 12:9-12
Our loving Father,
let us love sincerely by loving in Jesus,
with Jesus and through Jesus,
not according to one's self nor 
with what the world knows that is
superficial, emotional, and temporary;
let us love sincerely without
pretensions but solely because
we find you in one another;
make us love sincerely
without thinking of our own
good and benefit but more of
the needs of others, especially
the poor and the needy;
let us love sincerely by making you
visible to others, making them
experience your love by bringing out
the giftedness of everyone around us, 
making them realize they are blessed, 
they are good in themselves,
that we need them in as much as we need
one another to grow and mature as persons;
let us love sincerely by avoiding instances
for hatred and envy and jealousy
to take shape within us and in our
relationships;
let us love sincerely by holding on
to what is good and true, 
never to what is false and evil
even if they may seem to be convenient
especially when one is untrue, unfaithful;
let us love sincerely by serving others
without expecting anything in return;
let us love sincerely by remaining
enthusiastic in life despite the sufferings
we go through, rejoicing in hope in you,
enduring afflictions and trials as we
handle life in prayer, together.
O Father, like Jesus Christ,
may we love sincerely by always
finding our place in your banquet table
(Luke 14:15-24)
among our brothers and sisters as
our equal, saying yes to your
every call to serve
in every here and now.
Amen.
Photo by author, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, 06 November 2023.