Lord My Chef Wedding Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Homily, Wedding of Ellah and John Victor
Santuario de San Jose Parish, Greenhills, Mandaluyong
27 December 2025

A former student in our girls’ high school invited me to officiate her wedding last December 27, 2025; we were supposed to meet December 20 before my Simbang Gabi in our university chapel for my formal invitation when her father died suddenly that same afternoon while on a trip down south with his fellow big-bikers.
Ellah was so devastated with the news, wanting to reset her wedding. She has been working overseas for the past three years and had saved enough for her wedding day. Her only request from her parents who have separated when she was in elementary was for them to be together when she gets married. And they willingly obliged for their unica hija. And then tragedy struck exactly a week before her wedding day that happened to be the feast day of St. John Evangelist, the beloved disciple of the Lord. Sharing with you my homily on that bittersweet day of wedding of a beloved student and funeral of her father.

Congratulations, Ellah and JV on this most joyous day of your lives.
I know, it must be so difficult for you, Ellah but I am so glad that you still pushed through with your wedding today as planned. Your dad would not be happy if you had this postponed.
Showbiz ka rin talaga, Ellah! Parang cine – a wedding and a funeral.
But, let it be clear with you both, Ellah and JV that God willed it for you get married today on the feast of Jesus Christ’s beloved disciple St. John the Apostle and Evangelist. God wanted you to be married this day – not next year nor next month, nor last year. This is the day that the Lord has made for you to seal your love at His altar in this beautiful church because God has great plans for you, Ellah and JV.
Our gospel is so beautiful – the story of Easter when Jesus Christ rose from the dead.
On the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, “They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.” So Peter and the the other disciple went out and came to the tomb (John 20:1,2-3).

Here we find a most beautiful image of human relationships, of how a woman needs a man, and a man’s readiness to be at her side, to comfort and accompany the woman.
Just like you today, Ellah and JV.
Of course, Mary Magdalene and Simon Peter were both disciples of Jesus. They have no romantic relationships. But, the mere fact that Mary thought of reporting the missing body of Jesus to Peter being the leader of the Apostles speaks a lot to us these days when gender equality is overextended.
A woman needs a man for leadership that is why he is the man of the house. This we find in the rite of putting on veil on the newly-weds: only the head of the woman is covered because in every family, in every couple there is only one head, one leader – the man. Wherever there are two heads, it means there is a monster. There can be no order in any relationship when everyone is the leader or the head. This is most especially true in every couple.
However, let it be clear too that these mutual need of woman for man and man for woman is always governed by love which is more than a feeling but a decision, a meeting of one’s mind and heart. If your read the letters of St. John like what we have in our first reading today, you will realize three important lessons by the beloved disciple about LOVE:

First, God is the source of love.
Ellah and JV, remain rooted in God for “God is love.” If there is one thing you have found so clear in your lives since college, Ellah and JV, God has always been there with you. His abiding love never forsake you both, especially in your most trying times. Keep serving Him in your parish, in your lives, in your married life. Handle life with prayer.
Second, St. John tells us that love is not merely said in words but proven in deeds and works.
Walk your talk of “I love you.” One of the things I ask couples preparing for marriage is, who should be the first to greet, to speak when you have an LQ? Sino dapat maunang kumibo kapag nag-away ang mag-asawa o magkasintahan?
Many say it should be the man but I ask them whatever happened to the principle of ladies first? On the other hand, some say whoever caused the quarrel must be the one to apologize but the problem is, would anyone admit fault? The answer is simple but difficult to practice: whoever has more love to give must be the first to blink, must be the first to make the move. Love in any relationship is not a competition. Just keep on loving and loving. Show and make your love felt in actions. Not just words.
Third, very clear with St. John that love is always self-giving.
The true measure that you have loved is when you are able to love somebody else more than yourself. Love is always the giving of self.
In another part of his letter, St. John beautifully wrote that “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1Jn.4:12).

Remember, Ellah and JV, Jesus is always between the two of you, not in front nor at your back. Whatever you do to each other, you do it first to Jesus. When you work hard JV and become patient with the tantrums of Ellah, you first become loving to Jesus and then to Ellah. The same with you Ellah: when you take care of JV, when you cook his favorite meal, you are first loving Jesus then JV. But, the moment you become mean to each other, when you become unfaithful to each other, Ellah and JV, you become unloving first to Jesus and then to each other.
Wedding is not everything, Ellah and JV. There will be dark days and difficult times ahead of you, just like now as you grieve at the death of your dad, Ellah.
But, remember Ellah and JV your gospel today: Easter happened when it was dark; the tomb was empty because Jesus had risen from the dead. Like in life, whenever it is dark and empty, hold on to each other Ellah and JV, have faith in God for there in your midst is Jesus Christ.
Never lose hope in life; as I used to teach you Ellah in high school, hopelessness is the opposite of love, not hatred. The moment you find no hope in everyone and in everything, then you stop loving and that is when you start destroying everything and everyone. Never lose that hope and you will always find love, Ellah and JV. God bless you more and blessed Merry Christmas!































