Pentecost, death & “re-membering”

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 22 May 2024

I have reflected last Sunday that Pentecost is not just an event in the past but a daily coming of the Holy Spirit upon us, enlightening us of so many things in life we used to take for granted. Like the value of every person, especially when there is a death of a loved one.

In fact, death is a Pentecost when the Holy Spirit comes to remind us that we never – and can never – replace our departed loved ones. Every person is irreplaceable, especially family members. The sooner we realize this, the better for us to avoid those guilty feelings later that we should have been more loving and kind, that we should have said “I love you” more often because we never know for how long we can be with our loved ones. One thing is for sure: we do not replace our deceased loved ones but simply re-member them.

Photo by author, *Bgy. Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite, 27 April 2024.*

The word “remember” is very interesting.

It is from the root word “member” or “part”. When we put the prefix “re” which means “again”, “remember” means to make a part again of the present moment.

Every time we remember a person or an event, we make them part of our present moment. And they are most real, most present when our re-membering happens in the context of a family or a community. Re-membering someone by one’s self surely does happen a lot but very often, it is more of looking back to the past, recalling the days we used to be together. But when we remember somebody as a family or a community, the one we remember is indeed re-membered in our present, becomes real in everyone around celebrating his/her memory. Something concrete happens and the joy is more intense, leading to freedom from past, from pains and hurts of losing a loved one.

That is when death becomes a Pentecost. When the Holy Spirit came down upon the Apostles and the Blessed Virgin Mary in Jerusalem 50 days after Easter, the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity did not come to replace Jesus. The Holy Spirit is a distinct Person of the Trinity in whose power all the followers and believers of Christ have been empowered to make Him present until now in our collective re-membering of Him in the Church and the Sacraments. In the Holy Spirit who comes to us daily, we overcome and transcend every death we go through in life, enabling us to re-member our departed loved ones by being a member of those left behind.

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 18 March 2024.*

Since mommy’s death, I have gone home thrice already. How I loved to walk inside her room, trying so hard to get those feelings or vibes when she was still alive I miserably miss most as the days moved on.

One thing I have noticed, though, is that strange feeling of our home suddenly so empty as in “kakalog-kalog” as we say in Tagalog. Mommy ko lang nawala sa amin pero parang nawala ang lahat sa bahay?

Now I know better why the mother is the light of the family or “ilaw ng tahanan” because after she had died, her light in our home was turned off that seemed to have made our home so dark, so light and hollowed. However, when we gathered as siblings together with our nieces and nephew and relatives, the warmth of our home returns as if mommy is with us , still with us.

That is when the Holy Spirit comes amid the darkness of every death. A Pentecost when we are reminded of those still with us who must band closer together to make our departed more present in our collective re-membering. No wonder, it was also the final instruction of Jesus to His disciples at their Last Supper when He told them as He gave them the chalice to “Do this in memory of me” or “in remembrance of me”. In Greek, it is called anamnesis which is more than remembering or recalling but making present, making a reality.

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

And the reality is this – every person is valuable beyond measure.

So fragile too! Because we can easily lose them in a snap.

We realize and feel this most true in death when we experience deeply “someone like me” whom I love, whom I care for is gone because in every death of a beloved, a part of us dies too. Even if he/she is an enemy or somebody we are not in good terms with, we feel a loss within because for better or worst, the deceased made us feel our humanity.

It is said that “one life is too many.” Very true. Today God gives us the gift and power to re-member those not with us by connecting with those still living with us. Make that connection now and soon you too shall see the face we sorely miss together. Have a blessed remaining half-week!

Coming home, going home

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 10 May 2024

*Photo by Veejay Villafranca/Bloomberg via Getty Images*

My most vivid image of mommy’s love for me is from June 1979 when I bid her goodbye in her sari-sari store on my way to the high school seminary. That was the last time I felt I was a kid, her child, when she hugged me tightly, then held my head and kissed me as she fixed by combed hair, telling me “magpapakabait ka doon, anak.”

She had always been against my entering the seminary, saying I was too young to know about the priesthood. She did all the scare tactics to me: “hindi ka mag-aasawa, isda at tuyo araw-araw ang ulam ninyo, hindi masarap pagkain doon…” She finally allowed me to enter the seminary on second year high school I believe after my dad had silently persuaded her.

It was funny because on my fourth year before graduation, I felt I was not ready yet for the major seminary that was eventually confirmed by the results of my entrance exam (psychological tests actually) to San Carlos Seminary that it was suggested I better leave the seminary.

*My mother Corazon before their wedding in 1964.*

Tama nga si mommy.

It was from then on when we had that kind of not so smooth mother-son relationship. I felt far from her as she would always say something to my plans and decisions. She was not really a contravida but more of an oppositionist. That is why when I felt my vocation anew later in 1988, I never told her about it until I was about to go back to the seminary. That time, there was no more hugging and kissing maybe because I was already an adult, a man bigger and stronger than her.

But what was most memorable for me now that she is gone was the scene every time I would go back the seminary and later to my assignments as a priest.

Whenever I would tell her “mommy, uuwi na po ako”, she would say while smiling, “e nasa bahay ka, paano ka pa uuwi?”

That happened so often that she sounded so corny but still, thank God, I never tired explaining to her, “uuwi sa seminaryo” later to Malolos then to Bagbaguin and now to Fatima. She never failed to banter with me with her dry humor and stroke during those moments of my leaving home. I think she was telling me in those every good bye of ours that my home would always be her, my family. That is why after her body was taken from her room last Tuesday morning, the scene that struck me most on her death was her empty room, vacant big bed.

As I left home pauwi sa Fatima, the morning sunshine were so lovely as it softly brightened mommy’s empty room as she is now “home” in heaven with daddy.

Overall, I feel so joyful and grateful in my mother’s demise. She left so peacefully in her sleep as I have prayed to God daily. The outpouring of love and sympathies and friends are beyond our expectations or imaginations. But, there is that fear, a dread in me about coming home, finding her room empty, telling me she is gone.

Mommy’s room is now empty but our hearts are so full of her love, of her memories, of her gift of self.

During the pandemic, I begged God not to take my mom yet. I told God I was not ready because she was primarily the reason I “go home”. As I reflect on the meaning of that image of her empty room, I realized that it is not about going home but coming home. We go home to the house and place but we come home to persons, to family and friends.

Pag-uwi in Tagalog which is literally coming home. Not going home. Because when we leave, we say uuwi also as we come home to our new home.

We Filipinos express both our kinship and Christian faith in our goodbyes.

Our professor in liturgy Msgr. Andy Valera used to tell us we never say aalis na ako or “I am leaving” because that means we are angry. It is very rude and should never be said when saying goodbye in any Filipino gathering. Instead, we say next to uuwi na ako either tutuloy na ako or mauna na ako. But, how can we make tuloy which is to enter when we are in fact leaving? And why say mauna na ako which means I’ll go ahead when nobody is going with you?

According to Msgr. Andy, our coming home indicates our theology of heaven: we all come home, uwi to heaven our true home that is why when we leave our gatherings we say tutuloy na ako because in the end, we enter heaven. Most of all, we say mauna na ako because nobody knows who is next to die.

What a beautiful lesson I just realized now after mommy had died; even if she’s gone and her empty is room, I will still come home to my sisters and brother, nieces and nephew, relatives and neighbors.

How lovely that despite the pain and emptiness death creates in us here on earth is also the grace of God to fill each others heart with His loving presence and joy as we await our final coming home to Him with our departed loved ones in heaven.

Jesus told his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.”
John 14:1-3

The best way to come home to heaven is to come home often to our family and friends not only to dine and celebrate but most of all, to praise and thank God in prayers, especially the Sunday Mass. God bless everyone!

Death answers questions of life

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 09 May 2024

*Our mother had always loved flowers and shades of pink, especially pink carnation her favorite.*

It has been said death is the greatest equalizer. But with my mom’s recent passing, I realized too that death is the best explainer of life. Death is life’s final joke on us that answers, clarifies the many questions we have been asking in our lifetime.

Consider these:

Dad died on June 17, 2000, my mom’s 61st birthday; we celebrated his 40th day of death on his birthday, July 26, 2000. He died on a Saturday, the eve of Father’s Day.

Mommy died May 07, 2024 with her 40th day coming on June 15, two days before her 85th birthday and dad’s 24th death anniversary. This Sunday after her burial is Mother’s Day.

Ever since my father died, I have realized that death weaves a certain pattern in our lives, telling us a lot of things about us and our loved ones. And about life itself if we would have faith in God by setting aside our fears and superstitions.

Photo by author, *somewhere in Bgy. Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite, 27 April 2024.*

See how Jesus spoke to His disciples about His coming death during their Last Supper:

“Now I am going to the one who sent me, and not one of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts. But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you… But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what he hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming.”
John 16:5-7, 13

It is always after someone had died when things and life itself become clearer for us. In every death comes an unfolding of truth in time, in persons. It is after a beloved had died when we realize how much we do not know of their goodness or kindness that often we are surprised at the outpouring of love by those who come to their wake. Many times, strangers know more of the brighter side of a person when he/she dies. Along this line of mystery of the person we find too how death happens on days that at first seem to mean nothing at all but at closer look, or later as we moved on in life after the demise of a loved one, we see how every death points to something about us and our family and friends!

Hence, we say death is not the end but the beginning of eternity. Actually, with the deaths of my father and now of my mom, I have found death is life. No wonder St. Francis referred to death as a person, calling him “cousin Death.”

This became more clear to me when I became a chaplain at the Fatima University Medical Center (FUMC) in Valenzuela City.

Last year I took care of an elderly priest, Msgr. Teng Manlapig when he was confined in our hospital for almost a month. Two days before he died on February 26, 2023, he asked me to hear his confession. It was a Friday and February 26 last year was the first Sunday in Lent when the gospel was the temptation of Christ in the wilderness.

It was on that Sunday evening after seeing Msgr. Teng for the last time before he was taken to the funeral parlor when I remembered another priest I had cared during his dying days, Msgr. Macario Manahan who died in front of me in his retirement home on March 16, 2014 – the second Sunday in Lent when the gospel was the Transfiguration.

What a tremendous gift from God for me to care until their deaths of two monsignori in the Season of Lent. From them I have realized that our final altar as priests are our deathbeds where even to the end, we celebrate Mass and the Sacraments. From that day on too, I have prayed to God to allow me to go home to Him not during Lent but on Easter. Or, preferably on Ascension Sunday when my time comes.

Have a blessed day celebrating life, finding its meaning and beauty in the prism of cousin Death in Jesus Christ. Amen.

We never get used with death

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 07 May 2024

*My favorite photo of my mom and dad, so candid, “silang-sila talaga”; now, they are together in heaven.*

Yes. It is true. I just realized today that we never get used to any death because every death is different as the person who dies. And most especially, now I have realized, every death is always a blessing from God.

I was preparing for our 630AM Mass today when my youngest niece called me, crying, and the only word I understood she was saying was “Mamu”, referring to my mother. I then asked my brother priest to take over my Mass as I headed home. In less than half an hour, I was anointing my mom for the final moment, said prayers and blessed her body with Holy Water with my sisters and only brother.

I knew this day was coming, even approaching.

In 2020 during the COVID pandemic, I begged God to keep us all safe, not to take any one from my family, especially Mommy who had a stroke in 2005. June last year she had another stroke but refused to stay in the hospital, begged me not to have her confined, “Father, huwag mo ako ipa-ospital…tama na… ayoko na.” What can I do but obey my mother. Last January, she had permanently been bed-ridden, been sleeping for days, and had refused to eat on several days. But one thing we noticed she had always been bubbling with joy, cracking jokes whenever she would wake up.

*Mommy would always say the day she married my dad was the happiest day of her life.*

Every week, I would visit her, anoint her with Holy Oil and bring her Holy Communion. Since January this year, I have been praying to God to give my mother a peaceful death. I did not ask for her happy death because I felt how happy she has been this past year. Lord, just make it peaceful. No more pain because she had gone through many pain in her life since her childhood as she used to tell me. That is why she insisted on us to all finish our studies because she never had the chance to even reach high school because of that dictum in those years “mag-aasawa lang ang babae…”

And she died peacefully. Definitely, happily early today. My sister said she was supposed to give her medications before 6AM when mommy did not move or even twitch a little. She was still warm, my sister said but unusually still unlike before. That was when they called me.

Like when my dad suddenly died on mommy’s birthday, June 17, 2000, I could not cry hard enough. I feel very sad. But there is that inner joy and peace within me. Especially with my mom’s passing. I thought I would be used to her dying, having prepared for this day, having through dad’s sudden death 24 years ago.

By the way, my homilies since Sunday have always revolved around mommy:

Love in every turn

God bless all women!

What “joins” us?

I never knew mommy would “join” daddy today in heaven.

Iba pa rin pala. God is so good. That’s all I feel at the moment. God is so good. He listens and grants our deepest prayers. All praise to Him. Kindly pray for my mother, Corazon. God bless you too and thank you.

On turning 59

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 22 March 2024

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 19 March 2024.*

Salamuch to all your birthday greetings and prayers. You were all prayed for during my five day silent retreat here at the Sacred Heart Novitiate in Novaliches, my “Bethel” and “Peniel” in the last ten years.

It was in Bethel where Jacob dreamt of a stairway to heaven that upon waking up realized “the Lord is in this spot, although I did not know it” (Gen.28:16, 19) while it was in Peniel where he wrestled with an angel that he was given the other name “Israel… because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed” (Gen.32:29, 31).

*The newly reblocked tree-lined road of Sacred Heart Novitiate.*

God has been so kind to me to let me reach 59 – isang taon na lang may Senior Citizen Card na ako!

Last Sunday I had a long lunch with two of my former students in our girls’ high school in Malolos. It was a great feeling of being “reconnected” not only with Karen and Kweenie but also with myself.

God is our most important “connection” in life. To be connected, to reconnect with him is to be one, to be whole again with one’s self, with others and the rest of creation. And that is what a retreat is, a vacation with the Lord which is to reconnect with Him, to be healed and be whole again to find our other vital connections in life (https://lordmychef.com/2024/03/18/re-con-nect/). Here are some of my reflections; hope to help or guide you too to God.

*After sunset at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, 21 March 2024.*

If I say, “Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light” — Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one.
Psalm 139:11-12

Very often, we feel disconnected from God and everyone, even from one’s self when there is darkness in life due to sins and failures or disappointments as well as when we are tired and feeling sad, even depressed, for varied reasons.

But, the grace of God is actually most bountiful when we are in darkness. And the irony of it all, it is in our darkness is also our light! It is the other side of that another irony I realized a few years ago that it is in emptiness when we are actually full. Kung kailan wala, at saka mayroon!

*From the refectory of Sacred Heart Novitiate, 18 March 2024.*

In His great silence, God never stops doing something in us and with us while we are groping in the dark. Many times, the very things we complain and cry about that brought us darkness are in fact the most beautiful things we can have and must have done in this imperfect world. Feel God tapping our shoulders, even thanking us that despite the darkness we are into, we remain faithful and committed, still caring and loving those entrusted to us, especially the children and the sick as well as those who hurt us or a burden to us.

Life is always difficult but many times we ignore this reality.

Have you sometimes wondered why life has become so complicated and competitive these days that even if you are not in the “rat race” itself especially when friends and family come to unburden themselves to us, we also get affected. That is when we overextend ourselves helping them, connecting them without realizing we are the ones getting disconnected too with our very selves and the realities of life.

When things are getting dark, stop and accept the fact we are tired or sad. That it is already night time and too dark to go out, that we need to stay inside or remain where we are. Let the darkness pass to avert disasters like breakdowns, feeling exhausted and depleted that we get sick physically and emotionally. When darkness comes, rest in the Lord and enjoy the stars and the moon above.

*The Novitiate abounds with calachuchi trees that one can smell the sweet scent of its flowers especially in the evening.*

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!
Psalm 139:14, 17

Why can’t I accept that I am good, so wonderfully created by God? What a shame at how I always tell people, especially students and youth, to always believe in themselves, that our main problem in life is self-rejection which I am also guilty of.

Lately I have been questioning myself if I am really good at all: “talaga ba akong magaling at mahusay o ma-papel lang?”

*Tranquil afternoon at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, 19 March 2024.*

It is funny that as I cross into the threshold of senior years, I still have many insecurities in life, still doubting my abilities, of who I am.

One thing God has revealed me this week of prayers is how self-rejection is a result of lack of gratitude to Him. It is only when we are truly grateful to God can we accept, then own our giftedness as a person.

Many times we thank God for his “material” gifts to us that include our family and friends, jobs and career, house and cars and gadgets. Not to forget money and wealth, including fame for some. We thank God for everything except our very gift of selves. We are the most precious gift of God we always forget to thank Him for – our giftedness as a person with all of our talents and abilities.

Being grateful to God means seeing myself as God sees me His beloved child. Not the way we see ourselves before God that would always be in extremes, either we are too good like the Pharisee in Christ’s parable (Lk. 18:9-14) or too bad almost like the devil.

The more I am grateful to God, the more I cherish my personhood that despite my many flaws and sins, I am still loved by God our Father.

Gratitude is more than being thankful; it is entering into a deeper relationship with God and with anyone good to us. Ungrateful people who could not say “thank you” are the ones who do not care at all to others and their kindness. Whenever we say “thank you,” it means we not only appreciate and acknowledge their gift but most of all, their personhood inasmuch as they have recognized us in the first place.

This morning in our Mass, I felt so touched by God that tears swelled in my eyes twice. First when we sang in the entrance hymn “Buksan ang aming plad, sarili’y maialay; turuan Mong ihanap kami ng bagong malay.”

I think that is one thing I need this year, a new consciousness about God, of myself, and my vocation. Lately, I have been “romancing” death. It is not being morbid but simply accepting that reality becoming more real as we age. But, sometimes, I must confess, any fascination with death is defeatist in nature like when we start thinking of retiring early. I have always believed the priesthood is always seeking new directions in the ministry, in serving God and others but lately with all the darkness in me and around me, I just feel like retiring early, of just waiting for the end, whatever that may mean.

Lord Jesus Christ,
bring back that fire and 
enthusiasm in me;
give me a new 
consciousness of You,
of me, 
and of my ministry.

*The beauty and majesty of God at the Sacred Heart Novitiate.*

Tears swelled in my eyes the second time during the Offertory in our Mass as we sang Take and Receive which is actually the surrender prayer by St. Ignatius. It was the last prayer I recited before the Blessed Sacrament last night as I closed my retreat with a Holy Hour. It is my most favorite prayer but also the one I rarely pray after realizing and feeling its “existential” meaning during our 30-day retreat in 1995.

Try contemplating its meaning and you feel scared praying it, as if telling God, “not yet, Lord, not yet”: “Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou has given all to me. To thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me thy nlove and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.”

As I closed my retreat last night, I felt praying it again with the same conviction in 1995 after our 30-day retreat, in 1997 for our diaconal ordination and in 1998 for our presbyteral ordination. Once in a while I pray it too in high moments with the Lord. Like last night and this morning.

Thank you, 
dearest Father
for the gift of life,
for the gift of personhood;
Lord Jesus Christ,
You have given me with so much
and I have given You so little;
teach me to give more of myself,
more of of Your love and mercy;
take whatever I still have 
so that I can give more of You
in the Holy Spirit.
With Mary, 
teach me to be poor 
in You.
Amen.

Thank you everyone for your love, for your gift of self, for your friendship.

Two gems back on my screen

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 14 March 2024

I have rarely watched Netflix for over a year except on Sundays after lunch. Aside from my busy schedule, I find really nothing so special nowadays with Netflix. Even my folks back home rarely watch it.

However, three Sundays ago at the start of Lent, I felt like that kid in the 1982 Poltergeist movie wanting to scream “they’re… back” not out of fear but of sheer joy like a child when I saw NBC’s Law & Order: Special Victims Unit streaming! I had to forego my siesta and spent the whole afternoon binge-watching an old favorite.

The following Sunday as I looked forward to another afternoon of Law & Order, I found Netflix streaming anew another favorite, Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories.

From then on, I have found another good reason to binge-watch Netflix once in a while even on weekdays. And what a wonderful daily trip to have between the world’s two greatest cities, New York and Tokyo!

I have always loved watching police stories since childhood. It was my first “dream” job – to be a detective like Jack Lord, a.k.a. Steve Magarette of Hawaii Five-O, Michael Douglas with Carl Marden of Streets of San Francisco, and the many cops of Hill Street Blues.

A spin-off from the original series Law & Order that was equally good, Law & Order: SVU is distinctly unique with its introduction that says,

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.
Opening narration spoken by Steven Zirnkilton

The show premiered in September 1999 and has now become America’s longest running crime series now on its 25th season. What Netflix is streaming are the five seasons from 2009.

But, we love reruns!

The same thing is true with Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories. Originally called Midnight Diner when it premiered in 2009, it was renamed to its present title in 2016 when Netflix took over its production to make it more slick perhaps and palatable to worldwide audience without losing its Japanese touch and flavors that make it so irresistible especially the Nihongo language and songs.

Like Law & Order: SVU, Midnight Diner has a distinctive introduction that promises it to be a series one should not miss.

When people finish their day and hurry home, my day starts. My diner is open from midnight to seven in the morning. They call it “Midnight Diner”. [cut to menu listing “pork miso soup combo, beer, sake, shochu”] That’s all I have on my menu. But I make whatever customers request as long as I have the ingredients for it. That’s my policy. Do I even have customers? More than you would expect.^[1]
Opening narration by the chef known simply as the “Master” played by Kaoru Kobayashi

Again, like our favorite from New York, this Tokyo series streamed anew by Netflix is a rerun of its 2019 season. You may check our previous blog on this show at https://lordmychef.com/2019/11/20/midnight-diner-tokyo-stories-are-recipes-for-troubled-hearts-and-lonely-souls/.

But of course, we love “reheated” food as much as we enjoy reruns in TV shows and movies!

Like old movies and TV shows, some food tastes better when reheated the second time. Even the third time like mechado or anything with sarsa (sauce).

We call it in Filipino, pangat for pangalawa (second) o pangatlong (third) init (reheat)! Actually, pangat is the simplest way of cooking fish boiled in small amount of water with tomatoes and/or onions or kamias.

Maybe, as we get older, everything becomes simpler in life. We do not want so many complications or “dramas” as we say. Simple food, simple drinks, simple evenings. Even reruns and replays, whether food or shows. Why, even people maybe because our bestest friends are those we have kept all these years that whenever we get together, we just rerun our conversations of the same topics when we were together 30 years or 40 years or 50 years ago!

Law & Order: SVU and Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories are two great series like our good old friends. Both shows have got better as they age but always relevant because in their very heart is still the dignity of every human person who must be loved and respected always.

It is amazing that both series are set at two great cities of the world, so apart with each other in everything yet, it is always nice to find kind souls with warm hearts willing to lay everything down for what is true and good. And noble.

Catch them in Netflix. Even for the second or the third or the fourth time. They are television’s finest. Both are a gem to treasure.

*By the way, we are not paid by Netflix nor by anyone for this. We just love the series. Promise.

NEW YORK – AUGUST 10: Ice-T, Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay filming on location for “Law & Order: SVU” on the streets of Manhattan on August 10, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Bobby Bank/WireImage)

Ipaglalaban tayo ng Diyos sa demonyo

Lawiswis Ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-21 ng Nobyembre 2023

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Mirador Jesuit Villa, Baguio City, 24 Agosto 2023.*

Marami ang natuwa sa ibinahagi ko kamakailan dito na hindi tayo tatawagin ng Diyos sa kamatayan kung hindi tayo handa, biglaan man itong pagkamatay gaya ng aksidente o matagal na pagkakasakit (https://lordmychef.com/2023/11/14/bai-sa-langit-ang-ating-tagpuan/).

Sabi ko nga sa inyo, kumbinsido ako na mas maraming nasa langit kesa nasa impiyerno. Gagawa at gagawa ng paraan ang Diyos upang masagip ang isang kaluluwa kesa mapahamak sa walang hanggang apoy ng impiyerno.

Tinawag tayo ng Diyos hindi upang parusahan, kundi upang iligtas sa pamamagitan ng ating Panginoong Jesu-Cristo.
1 Tesalonica 5:9

Maraming pagkakataon ko ito napatunayan bilang pari, lalo mula noong 2021 nang maging chaplain ako dito sa pagamutan. Hindi ko makakalimutan yung isa naming pasyente noong isang taon bago mag-Undas.

*Larawan kuha ni Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD sa France, 2022.*

Pagkaraan kong magmisa ng Miyerkules ng tanghali sa aming Basic Education Department, nakatanggap ako ng sick call sa aming emergency room. Kaagad ako pumunta at inabutan ko ang isang matandang lalaki na naka-oxygen at maraming mga aparatu na naka-monitor sa kanya.

Lampas 90 na kanyang edad at ang sabi sa akin ng duktor ay maaring pumanaw ang pasyente ano mang oras. Sa malakas kong tinig, sinikap kong kausapin ang pasyente, sinabihan ko siyang magsisi sa kanyang mga kasalanan habang siya ay aking dinarasalan at papahiran ng Banal na Langis. Bumalik ako sa aming university pagkatapos noon.

Laking gulat ko nang sumunod na araw ng Linggo sa aking paghahatid ng Komunyon at pagbabasbas sa mga may-sakit sa aming pagamutan: buhay pa rin iyong pasyente sa pinuntahan ko ng Miyerkules sa ER!

At nang sumunod na araw na naman ng Linggo, naroon pa rin ang naturang pasyente – buhay! Maniwala kayo, umabot pa ng ikatlong araw ng Linggo ang naturang pasyente na dinalaw ko at dinasalan. Nagtataka na rin mga duktor at nars na kung ilang ulit na rin iyon nag-delikado ngunit biglang lumalakas na di mawari.

Noong ikatlong araw ng Linggo na iyon, kinausap ako ng panganay na anak na babae na umuwi mula sa Amerika. Nalaman ko na tatlo silang magkakapatid na puro babae, pawang mga may asawa na rin sila. Filipino-Chinese sila na may-ari ng malaking negosyo sa Bulacan. Wala na ang kanilang ina na pumanaw sa sakit na cancer noon pa.

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Camp John Hay, Baguio City, 12 Hulyo 2023.*

Laking gulat ko at nangilabot din ako sa kuwento ng panganay na anak na babae: mahilig ang kanilang ama sa mga occult practices gaya ng pagkausap sa kaluluwa ng mga yumao nilang kamag-anak at iba pang mga espiritu, ang pag gamit ng mga anting-anting, mga tarot cards, ouija board at marami pang iba.

Bago daw iyon maglubha, pilit na ipinapasa sa isa sa kanilang magkakapatid ang “kapangyarihan” na nakuha sa yumao nilang lola na ina ng kanilang ama. Inutusan daw silang kunin at dasalin mga aklat-dasalan ng kanilang ama na nasa tila wikang Latin. Noon lamang daw nila nakita mga iyon bagama’t naaalala nilang patagong ginagamit ng tatay nila mga iyon noon pa man.

Noon ko naisip na kaya hindi pa pumapanaw ang naturang pasyente na ibig ipasa kanyang mga occult practices sa kanyang anak. Tinanong ko magkakapatid ano kanilang saloobin at pare-pareho silang ayaw nilang tumulad sa kanilang ama. Natuwa naman ako sa kanilang desisyon kaya ipinaliwanag ko na rin sa kanila ang kahulugan at mga implikasyon ng occult practices ng tatay nila. Kailangan kako na “madeliver” siya mula sa impluwensiyang iyon ng demonyo at ikalawa, wasakin mga gamit niya kayat ipinakuha ko iyon habang ako naman ay umuwi ng parokya upang kunin ang aklat ng exorcismo ni P. Jocis Syquia.

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, Pambansang Dambana ng Birhen ng Fatima, 06 Nobyembre 2023.*

Pagbalik ko ng parokya, una kong ginawa ay nangumpisal ng aking mga kasalanan sa kasama naming pari. Kumain lamang ako ng kaunti at saka nanalangin sa harap ng Santisimo Sakramento. Pagkaraan ng isang oras, bumalik ako sa ospital upang ganapin ang deliverance prayer sa pasyente ayon sa aklat ni P. Syquia. Muli ko siyang pinahiran ng Banal na Langis at nanalangin kami ng kanyang pamilya pagkaraan ng deliverance session.

Pagkaraan noon ay dinasalan ko at binasbasan mga aklat-dasalan, anting-anting at iba pang mga gamit sa occult ng pasyente na pinagsama-sama ng kanilang boy sa isang black plastic bag. Hindi ko na binulatlat pa ni hawakan mga iyon. Basta, mahigpit kong pinagbilinan yung boy na sunugin lahat ng mga iyon at itapon sa ilog mga abo. Huwag na huwag ka ika ko magtatago ni kukuha ng isa kungdi ay mapapasama kanyang buhay. Hapon na nang maka-uwi ako ng parokya at ang una kong ginawa ay manalangin muli sa harapan ng Santisimo Sakramento.

Umuwi ang naturang pasyente kinabukasan araw ng Lunes. Wala pa raw isang oras sa bahay habang nakahiga sa bago niyang hospital bed, payapang pumanaw ang naturang pasyente. Ayon sa mga nars, nagbalik doon ang panganay na anak na babaeng kumausap sa akin upang magpaabot ng pasasalamat at naikuwento nga paanong pumanaw ang kanilang ama.

*Larawan ni Lucifer, ang Satanas, mula sa wikipediacommons.org.*

Muli, mga ginigiliw ko, noon ko napatunayan ang lalim at lawak, ang di masusukat na pagmamahal sa atin ng Diyos na hindi niya tayo tatawaging mamatay nang hindi pa handa.

Pakiwari ko ay sa tatlong linggong iyon mula nang pahiran ko ng Langis sa ER ang naturang pasyente, nakipagbuno at babag sa demonyo si San Miguel Arkanghel sa utos ng Diyos upang agawin at iligtas ang kaluluwa ng taong iyon.

Isinulat ko rin ito upang tigilan na rin sana ng mga makababasa nito ang anu mang uri ng mga occult practices pati na mga tawas at pagpunta sa mga faith healer, manghuhula at espiritista. Magpatingin muna sa duktor kung mayroong karamdaman. Lakipan ito ng taimtim na pananalangin at matibay na pananalig sa Diyos nating makapangyarihan sa lahat. Amen.

(Bai) Sa langit ang ating tagpuan

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-14 ng Nobyembre 2023

*Larawan kuha ng may-akda, San Juan, La Union, Hulyo 2023.*

Noong ako ay bagong pari, maraming pagkakataon na para ako nahihiya o nababagabag kapag iyong aking dinalaw na may sakit ay pumanaw pagkaraan ko siya pahiran ng Banal na Langis. Binibiro kasi ako palagi ng mga tao na huwag ko silang dadalawin kapag sila ay nagkasakit dahil sa halip na mabuhay pa, baka sila ay mamatay kaagad.

Napawi na lamang aking pagkabagabag nang ipaliwanag sa akin ng dati kong kura, ang yumaong Padre Nanding Ersando na ikagalak ko raw kung pumanaw ang pinahiran ko ng Banal na Langis dahil nakapaghatid ako ng kaluluwa sa langit.

Kaya mula noon ay iyon na aking pinanghawakan lalo na ngayong naglilingkod ako bilang chaplain sa Fatima University Medical Center sa Valenzuela kung saan kada araw ng Linggo ay dinadalaw ko lahat ng pasyente pagkaraan ng Banal na Misa. Madalas sinasabi sa akin ng mga duktor at nars kapag mayroong pumapanaw na “hinintay lang po kayo, Father” kasi matapos ko silang pahiran ng langis o bigyan ng komunyon, bigla silang pumapanaw kahit wala sa ICU.

At nakapagtataka rin naman na sa tuwing mayroong hihiling ng dasal, kumpisal at pagpapahid ng langis, palagi naman ako ay naririto. Bihirang-bihira na mayroong magrequest ng sick call na ako ay wala. Kung sakali mang wala ako sa ospital o pamantasan, tiyak aabutan ko pa ang pasyente pagdating ko at saka papanaw.

Para sa akin, ang mga ito ay malinaw na pagpapahayag ng pag-ibig ng Diyos sa atin na palagi niyang tinitiyak sa langit tayo uuwi sa kahuli-hulihan. Kaya sigurado din ako, mas maraming namamatay ang sa langit napupunta o kaya sa purgatoryo muna kesa sa impiyerno maliban na lamang talaga na ayaw ng sino man sa Diyos. Mismo si Jesus ang nagsabi noon:

“Lalapit sa akin ang lahat ng ibinibigay sa akin ng Ama. At hindi ko itataboy ang sinumang lumalapit sa akin. Sapagkat ako’y bumaba mula sa langit, hindi upang gawin ang kalooban ko, kundi ang kalooban ng nagsugo sa akin. At ito ang kanyang kalooban: huwag kong pabayaang mawala kahit isa sa mga ibinigay niya sa akin, kundi muling buhayin sila sa huling araw.”
Juan 6:37-39

Hindi tatawag ang Diyos ng sino mang hindi handa. Maski ito sa mga namatay ng biglaaan at sa aksidente. Kaya nga sa mga lamayan, madalas makuwento ng mga kaibigan at kaanak kung paanong tila nagpapaalam o naghahabilin ang namatay ilang araw o linggo bago siya pumanaw.

Tayo mismo makakaramdam kung tayo ay papanaw na dahil iyon ay biyaya na kaloob ng Diyos. Totoong totoo ito sa mga nakaratay sa banig ng karamdaman, iyong mga mayroong malubhang sakit (https://lordmychef.com/2023/11/08/giving-permission-to-die/).

Gayon pa man, isa pa ring malaking hiwaga ang kamatayan na kung saan sadyang ang Diyos lamang ang nakababatid kailan darating kanino man. Kaya naman, ang kahalagahan ng pamumuhay ng tunay at ganap palagi sa pag-amin at pagtanggap ng ating pagkatao, kasama na ating mga pagkakasala sa isa’t isa.

Isang bagay napagtanto ko sa buhay na kung kelan natin tanggap na tanggap ang mabuhay, doon din natin natatanggap ang mamatay. Kadalasan takot tayong mamatay kasi marami tayong dapat gawin na hindi pa natin ginagawa o palaging ipinagpapaliban. O, hindi matanggap.

Mahirap kapag marami tayong mga bagahe na dala-dala sa buhay. Mabigat at maganit ang buhay. Walang tuwa at kaganapan. Pero kung mga ito ay ating haharapin at bibitiwan, doon tayo namumuhay ng tunay at ganap kaya sa mabuhay at mamatay, hindi na mahalaga sa atin gaya ng pahayag ni San Pablo (Fil. 1:21-23). Kung saan mayroong kaganapan, naroon ang Diyos, naroon din ang katiwasayan at kapayapaan. Kapag walang kaganapan, tiyak naroon ang mga takot at panghihinayang. Mahirap at mabigat.

Ang langit, maging impiyerno, ay hindi lamang lunan kungdi katayuan sa buhay, kundisyon o sitwasyon. Kung habang tao nabubuhay at dama nating langit ang buhay sa kabila ng mga pasakit, langit nga ang tungo natin kapag namatay. Ngunit kung habang tayo ay nabubuhay at pakiramdam ay impiyerno ang buhay, kahit maraming pera at karangyaan, mga kaibigan at kung sinu-sino kasama natin, impiyerno nga ating tutunguhan.

Ang mabuting balita ay ito: nasa kamay natin ang pagpapasya. Lahat ay ibig pumunta sa langit ngunit, nakahanda ba tayo sa mga bagay-bagay, maging mga tao at kung sinu-sino na kaya nating talikuran at iwanan upang magkaroon ng kapayapaan at katiwasayan sa kalooban?

Madaling sabihin ngunit sa aking napagtanto, ang buhay ay araw-araw na munting pagkamatay sa ating sarili hanggang sa tayo ay masaid at mapuno ng Diyos. Iyon ang kabanalan – mapuno, mapuspos ng Diyos. Hindi ng mga bagay-bagay at kung sinu-sino. Kaya sa kahuli-hulihan, kapag nalagot na ating mga hininga at tayo ay pumanaw, doon na rin ang kaganapan ng pagpasok natin sa langit. Mapagpalang araw sa iyo, Bai!

*Narito isang awit na paborito ko noong dekada 90 mula sa AfterImage.

Mula sa YouTube.com.

Hospital is a sacred ground

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 23 October 2023

The president of our hospital where I serve as chaplain posted yesterday a beautiful reflection on his Facebook page about the war and hostilities in Gaza, calling on everyone to pray hard for its peaceful resolution.

What touched me was when he said, “I am a doctor and in my heart of hearts, I feel that hospitals should enjoy certain exemptions. I wish then as now, that hospitals should never have their electricity or water cut-off… I am thankful that the hospital I work in is not in any immediate danger of being bombed. Life is already fragile as it is.”

As I have been telling you, I am a hospital chaplain. And like our president, in my heart of hearts, hospitals should be exempted from any form of violent attacks at all times. Wherever.

The word “hospital” is from the Latin word hospis which means “to welcome” from which “hospitality” also came from.

Since my assignment as chaplain at the Fatima University Medical Center in Valenzuela in February 2021, I have realized it was only then have I truly “welcomed” human mortality, both as an individual and a member of the human race. I must confess that it was only when I became a hospital chaplain have I realized in the most existential manner the meaning of being mortal, that someday I could be one of those patients lying on those beds with tubes and monitors attached to my body, perhaps in coma. During these past two years of visiting our patients every Sunday, sometimes daily or at the middle of the night or early morning when that Latin phrase memento mori – “remember you must die” – has become so true like the sword of Damocles hanging over my head always.

But, it was also during these past two years as a hospital chaplain have I discovered the amazing beauty and wonder of human life, of every person. It is only now at age 58 I have experienced the true meaning of a baby as “a bundle of joy”, of how great are the love and courage of a mother in delivering an infant. It was in our hospital where I experienced that life, indeed, is precious because it is fragile and vulnerable that so moved me in pity, even cried at seeing patients so sick, so close to death, whether a new-born infant or a 90 year-old. I am most thankful to God in making me experience his mysterium fascinans in our hospital where I am awed in the most wonderful way of finding how the human spirit fight for life, assert life and choose or find life rather than death. And when it becomes inevitable, that great wonder of faith and hope within in facing and accepting life’s end here on earth to move on to eternity in God, whatever name he is called by anyone.

*Photo by author, Sinai desert in Egypt, 2019.*

When I saw the news of that bombing of a hospital in Gaza, I felt something deeply different within me. At first, I wanted to get angry and curse whoever did that. What the Hamas did in starting this war was totally inhuman and unacceptable but whoever caused that hospital attack is bringing this conflict including humanity in general, to the lowest level. (It is still disputed whether it was an airstrike by Israel which they deny or a misfired rocket of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad they also deny.)

Every time I would see footages of Gaza’s overcrowded hospitals said to be at their “breaking point” due to great number of patients, I could feel as if my heart is being rend apart, teared into pieces because every hospital is like a church building or a place of worship were everybody is supposed to be welcomed to be whole again, to be healed, and most of all, to be cared at. Like churches and any place of worship, a hospital is a sanctuary for humanity, a hallowed ground where a burning bush of Moses is planted somewhere. Any act of violence in a hospital anywhere in the world is a total disregard of life and the human person, a sad reminder not only of our inhumanity but also of how can be “unhuman” too.

Very close in sound to hospis is another Latin word, hostis, meaning “enemy” from which came the words “hostage” and “hostile”. When hospitals are held hostage in war or any other situation, then it becomes a most serious and severe blow to humanity because it means we have closed all doors in welcoming each other, that we have decided to live on our own in total disregard of one another. I pray that wherever there is a war going on, enemies spare hospitals of their hatred where they can always feel welcomed and hopefully, be reawakened of our being brothers and sisters in one God we call in different names.

May our hospitals remind us this whole planet we all share as our one home is a sacred ground, whether in war or in peace, where humanity triumphs even in small packets because life is held holy and divine, a gift and sharing in the life of God. Amen. Let us keep praying and working for peace everywhere.

That parable of the wedding garment

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 18 October 2023

Photo courtesy of Fr. Herbert Bacani, Parish Priest of Immaculate Conception Quasi-Parish in Marungko, Angat, Bulacan, 15 October 2023.. When the pastor is properly dressed, his servers follow; surely, the parishioners are not far behind.

Thank you very much for the warm reception to our reflection last Sunday on the parable of the wedding garment when we took as cue the lack of sense these days of dressing properly even among us priests. So glad many priests reflected too along the same line in their homilies last Sunday. And the message is very clear: we priests have to set the example in dressing properly and decently at all times.

Methinks this deterioration in manner of dressing of people has a direct correlation with the clergy’s “undressing” of their cassocks and clerical shirts after Vatican II’s reforms they have abused and misconstrued into something else. No wonder, it started too the downward slide of credibility of clergy made worst by the reports of sexual abuses.

*Photo courtesy of Fr. Len Hernandez taken during our 25th anniversary with Bp. Dennis at his chapel, 18 April 2023.*

What a shame and pity when people comment how some priests not looking as priests at all at the way they dress. Some at the extreme have become so secular with their worldly fashion senses of designer clothes, jewelries even bling-blings with high end cars and gadgets who look like actors and models than priests while at the other end are those lost hippies or beatniks and rebels of no cause at all with their long hair, maong pants and sneakers in vain efforts to do liberation theology yet too far from the masses.

Again, many will argue our personhood does not depend on our outside appearances like clothes. Of course but not absolutely true! Jesus himself had taught us in the parable of the wedding garment last Sunday that dressing properly is an imperative because whatever is seen outside is always indicative of what is inside. If we, especially us priests, could not even look good outside, how can others believe we are good inside? Besides, if we could not even dress up decently for any occasion, how can we be expected to fulfill other greater things in life? Remember the Lord’s reminder, “The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones” (Lk. 16:10).

When I was in my second year in seminary formation, our former teacher in elementary school, the late Miss Santiago saw me on my way to serve in the Mass at our parish church. When she saw me perspiring a lot, she said, “Naku, Nicanor! Iyang pagsusuot pa lang ng sutana pala e malaking sakripisyo na sa inyo? E basang basa ka na ng pawis.” That compliment by one of our kindest teacher has been etched in my heart ever since, teaching me that valuable lesson that our cassock in itself is a homily. That is why in teaching communications in the seminary, I have always insisted to seminarians that the priest himself – his clothes, his hair, his language and everything – is a sign of God before the people. Hence, I have offered them with these simple propositions:

If the priest is not that good looking and his homily is also not that good and then he comes poorly dressed during the Mass, what would people think? What an ugly God we have! Ang pangit naman ng Diyos!
If the priest is not that good looking, his homily is also not that good but his vestments are beautiful as St. John Vianney would say are a homily in itself, then people are at least consoled to have a glimpse of God’s beauty.
If the priest is not that good looking but his homily is good complemented with his beautiful vestments, people are blessed as they feel God is indeed so good all the time.
If the priest is good looking, his homily is well prepared and prayed for with his matching beautiful vestments, people joyously sing “alleluia!” in their hearts as they are touched by God.

In 403 AD, St. Augustine wrote a catechism manual for his deacon named Deogratias called De Catechizandis Rudibus (On Catechizing Beginners) in preparing candidates for Baptism. Its most important lesson is found at the last part of the thick book when St. Augustine told Deogratias to always remember “the teacher/catechist is the lesson himself/herself.”

In the same manner, the priest is always the homily himself whatever he is doing and especially wearing, 24/7. There is no way of dissecting our being a priest from our being individuals and citizens; everything in us will always be seen and measured in Jesus Christ our eternal Priest and Master. That is why last Sunday in the parable of the wedding garment, Jesus taught us also of the need to be conformed in him, to be like him.

How can we priests demand people to dress properly in coming to the celebration of the Eucharist when we priests are the ones shabbily dressed?

What a shame when priests give as pretexts for not wearing the prescribed garbs because of the hot weather in the country or to be more attuned with the people we celebrate Mass with like the poor. Where is our sense of sacrifice? It is as if saying we are awaiting autumn and winter in the country before we could wear our cassocks and albs and vestments! And for those who insist on being one with the poor that they wear the simplistic white chasuble and stole, I say it is a disgrace because those who have less in life must have more of God. Mahirap na nga sila, titipirin pa natin sa magagandang gamit at damit natin?

How can we be vessels of God’s grace and blessings when we are untidy and dugyot at the altar and after the Mass?

*Pinning and capping ceremony of our nursing students, Our Lady of Fatima University-Valenzuela City with our faculty members acting as Florence of Nightingale, 2022.*

Another pretext many priests use for not wearing the proper clothes in their ministry is practicality which is essentially the capital sin called sloth. How could a priest bless a car or a store or a house no matter how small they may be with just a stole without an alb and still get stipend meant in part so he can be decently dressed? Where is our effort in serving the people if not in proper attire?

The worst case of priests along with their sacristan not dressed properly is in the celebration of the Mass for a wedding. It is so unfair and unjust when priests do not take time to consider polishing the minute details of the Mass for God’s sake as his signs and channels of grace for those embarking on a lifelong journey in Christ as husband and wife.

In my 25 years as a priest, I have always prayed for my family and friends to also love my priesthood. I think the same holds true for the people who need to embrace our priesthood, not us priests! If you love our priesthood, then, you will love our cassocks and albs and chasubles and clerical shirt too. Demand that inasmuch as we must prepare our homily, we must also prepare for our vestments. Inasmuch as you help us to be good, help us to look good too in representing Jesus Christ here on earth, reminding you of eternal life and bliss.

We live in so different a time than before where sentiments against the Church and her clergy are growing. This situation calls us priests to strive harder as witnesses and reminders of Jesus Christ. And that begins with the way we dress, the simplest and most basic sign of our identity.

*Me during my conferral of the cassock, June 1991, Immaculate Conception Major Seminary in Guiguinto, Bulacan.*

One of my unforgettable moments in my vocation history happened in 1991 when I returned to the seminary, nine years after being told to leave in 1982. That Sunday afternoon after being conferred with the white cassock, I felt something so different inside me as if telling God like the Prophet Isaiah, “Here I am, send me” (Is. 6:8).

The same prophet reminds us priests whenever we wear our priestly garments for the liturgy and ministry of that great song to God, “I will rejoice heartily in in the Lord, my being exults in my God; for he had clothed me garments of salvation, and wrapped me in a robe of justice, like a bridegroom adorned with a diadem, as a bride adorns herself with her jewels” (Is. 61:10). Let us sing that song rejoicingly, heartily! Amen.