Our living family tree

Lord My Chef Simbang Gabi Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Simbang Gabi-II, 17 December 2025
Genesis 49:2, 8-10     <*[[[[><  +  ><]]]]*>     Matthew 1:1-17

Next to the Belen and the Parol, the Christmas Tree stands out as the third leading sign of Christmas especially in our country. Though it was first introduced by the German Lutherans in the 16th century, we Catholics have adopted it too with the Vatican having a giant Christmas Tree every year lighted at St. Peter’s Square in Rome.

The Christmas Tree invites us to remember Jesus who was born in Bethlehem is the true Tree of Life, as it “depicted the tree of paradise and the Christmas light or candle which symbolized Christ, the Light of the world” (Book of Blessings, page 443). Remember also that since ancient time especially among the Anglo-Saxons, trees symbolize our relationships as family and kin that is why we have “family trees” that trace our roots.

And that is what a genealogy is all about.

Matthew along with John opened his gospel account with the origin of Jesus; both felt the need to present right away to their specific audience where the Christ came from. John traced it to eternity as the Word (Logos) while Matthew whose followers were mostly Jewish converts to Christianity presented Jesus as the fulfillment of God’s promise in the Old Testament through their two main personalities, Abraham and David.

The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. Abraham became the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers. Judah became the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar (Matthew 1:1-3).

Every year we hear this gospel proclaimed on December 17 which is also the start of the second and final phase of Advent when all our readings and prayers direct our attention to the first Christmas that happened more than 2000 years ago.

For Matthew, it all started with God’s promises to Abraham, the father of all nations and to David, the greatest King of Israel whose royal lineage made the Christ a King, in fact the King of Kings. What is most interesting in Matthew’s genealogy is the fact that with each of those names that sound so funny for many of us today was a true person just like us – so human and so imperfect, even sinful except the Blessed Virgin Mary. Matthew did not sanitize nor photoshop the personalities in the Lord’s genealogy because that is the Good News: it is good to be human that is why the Son of God became one of us in everything as a human being except sin.

This year, I wish to reflect on just one person, Judah.

Jacob called his sons and said to them: “Assemble and listen, sons of Jacob, listen to Israel, your father. You, Judah, shall your brothers praise – your hand on the neck of your enemies; the sons of your father shall bow down to you. Judah, like a lion’s whelp, you have grown up on prey, my son… The scepter shall never depart from Judah, or the maqce from between his legs, while tribute is brought to him, and he receives the people’s homage” (Genesis 49:2, 8-9, 10).

This is the second Christmas me and my siblings are celebrating without both our parents. Our mother died May 2024. Though it was so heavy and difficult for us, everything moved so fast that year. So unlike this 2025.

We never get used to deaths in the family; the pain becomes most painful as we move through the years especially during Christmas as if our Belen would never be complete without a St. Joseph and a Mama Mary. Of course, Christmas and life itself is all about Jesus Christ but it is a different reality and story celebrating this most joyful season without parents. Especially for a priest like me. (No drama intended.)

That is why I felt so drawn in my prayers to Judah in Matthew’s genealogy as one of the great, great, great grandfather of Jesus Christ.

In the first reading, we have Jacob nearing death while they were all in Egypt courtesy of his eleventh son Joseph who rose to power after being sold there by his brothers. Though my mother never gave such speeches when she was nearing death, all her life she used to tell us similar things when we were growing up, of how after she and dad would be gone that I must look after my two sisters and only brother, that we would not quarrel and be loving one another always. I think such habilin as we say in Filipino is common among us Pinoys along with the usual passing on or entrusting of family and properties to the eldet, either the kuya or ate.

But that’s not the case in our first reading because Judah was not the eldest of Jacob’s children with her first wife Leah. Judah was their fourth son with three elder brothers – Reuben, Simeon and Levi with a sister named Dinah. Judah also had six half-brothers from their father’s concubines or later wives: Dan, Napthali, Gad, Asher, Joseph, and Benjamin.

*Rembrandt’s 1660 painting of “Judah and Tamar” via en.wikimedia.org*

Why was Judah the one anointed by Jacob to lead his family and not the elder sons as it is the norm among Jewish and even Filipino families?

This is where the story gets most interesting: Judah’s Kuya Reuben fell from grace because he had sex with their father’s concubine Bilha whose sons were Dan and Napthali while his Diko Simeon and Sangko Levi were disqualified from leading the family after their bloody revenge for the rape of their sister Dinah.

However, that does not mean Judah was clean and honorable at all!

Matthew told us in his genealogy of Jesus that Judah’s sons Perez and Zerah (twins) were born through Tamar who was actually the wife of Judah’s eldest son Er who died without having any son. As per Jewish tradition, Judah’s second son Onan married Tamar but refused to have a son with her that he “spilled his seed” to the ground – that is, he masturbated! It angered God that he took Onan (that is why masturbation is sinful and also known as “onanism” from Onan).

After losing his two sons because of Tamar, Judah refused to give his third and youngest son Shelah to marry her. So, Tamar devised the plan of pretending a prostitute, luring Judah into bed and have her pregnant with the twins Perez and Zerah. Read Genesis 38 for the full story!

Of Jacob’s sons, Joseph was the most eligible to lead and continue Jacob’s family lineage and not Judah had no credentials at all to speak of as a great man leading his brothers, eventually becoming the father of the Jewish nation from whose name came the word “Judaism”.

*“Patriarch Judah”, a Russian Orthodox painting in 1654 from en.wikipedia.org.*

Remember too that Judah was totally silent and timid unlike Reuben when his elder brothers planned of killing Joseph because of jealousy; it was him, however, who thought of selling Joseph into slavery to Egypt to make some money.

Judah’s only saving grace came after more than twenty years when Joseph was already a powerful man in Egypt demanded to have Jacob’s youngest son Benjamin as his slave in exchange for them to purchase foodstuff during the famine (Gen. 42). Judah pleaded for Benjamin’s life that Joseph finally revealed himself as their lost brother after he could no longer contain his tears and joy in being reunited with his brothers anew.

Despite all these shady past of Judah, God chose him to continue the family lineage of his father Jacob from whom the Messiah, Jesus came.

Like Judah, we are not the perfect son or daughter, brother or sister in the family.

Like Judah, we are not most qualified for being the favored one or anointed one in the family or in the organization. There is always somebody better than us.

But God’s works in mysterious ways, in ways so different from our own ways. As the saying goes, God does not call the qualified but qualifies his calls. Likewise, God writes straight in crooked lines.

The Simbang Gabi invites us not only to look forward to the birth of the Messiah; in these nine days of prayers and reflections, we also look back to our past to face and embrace, admit and own those shades of darkness in our lives.

Matthew’s genealogy reminds us today that this family tree of faith in Jesus extends down the generations and includes us today. Feel and experience, most of all, celebrate that joy of belonging to God’s living family tree where every branch, every member is loved and cared for. God believes in us that he entrusted to us his Son Jesus Christ. That’s Christmas – God becoming human, infant and weak like us, entrusting himself to our care and love and protection.

This Simbang Gabi, let us remember our family members and other persons who made us feel belonging in this living family tree of Jesus. Let us also pray for those lost family members and friends that Jesus wants us to draw near to his living family tree with our friendship and warmth, forgiveness and acceptance. As you light your Christmas tree tonight, do not forget to share the light and warmth of Jesus Christ, our Tree of Life. Amen. Have a blessed Wednesday!

One in Christ in life, in death

Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul, 29 July 2025
Tuesday, Memorial of Sts. Martha, Mary and Lazarus, Siblings
1 John 4:7-16     <'[[[[><  +  ><]]]]'>     John 11:19-27

*“The Raising of Lazarus”, 1311 painting by Duccio de Buoninsegna from commons.wikimedia.org*

What a beautiful reminder to us,
dear Jesus on this day as we celebrate
the Memorial of the Holy Siblings
Saints Martha, Mary and Lazarus:
the only time they are presented as one
and complete was during the raising of 
Lazarus; you were there in their most
sorrowful moment in life as brother and 
sisters because you have always been there
with them in good times when they were
all alive and well.

I pray,
dear Jesus,
for all siblings like
Saints Martha, Mary and Lazarus
to remain one as a family after
their parents have been gone;
so many times in such deep sorrow,
we are like Martha telling you Lord,
"if you had been here my brother -
or sister or parents -would not have
died" (John 11:21); but, your response
to her and to us was so rich in meaning
we can only summarize in love,
"your brother will rise... I am the resurrection
and the life; whoever believes in me,
even if he dies, will live, and anyone
who lives and believes in me will never die. 
Do you believe this?"
(John 11:23, 25-26)

Help me believe
like Martha,
Jesus;
help me believe by being
more loving and caring
with my family while still alive
and well;
help me believe by being
more understanding
and forgiving,
more kind and sensitive
with my brother or sister
while still alive;
please help, Jesus
 the siblings
at odds with each other,
not talking with each other,
grouping together against each other
because of betrayals
and dishonesty in their share
of inheritance;
help them seek your face
to be more just and loving
because "love is of God"
(1 John 4:7);
let siblings be like
Saints Martha, Mary and Lazarus
be one in you, Jesus
in faith,
hope
and love
while still alive
so that in their death
they remain one in you.
Amen.

Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Our Lady of Fatima University
Valenzuela City
(lordmychef@gmail.com)

*An icon of Jesus visiting his friends, the siblings Sts. Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Photo from crossroadsinitiative.com*.

Mothers’ nine lives

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 07 July 2025

For the first time in 25 years since daddy’s passing, I did not deliver any homily during his death anniversary Mass in our home last June 17, 2025. My sisters readily agreed when I told them after the gospel proclamation “hindi na ako mag-homily at baka maiyak lang tayo.”

It was the second time we celebrated daddy’s death anniversary after mommy’s passing last May 7, 2024 but, it was only at that time when I truly felt the deeper realities of both parents being gone, of being “ulilang lubos”.

Perhaps that’s because we have been preoccupied for over two decades with mommy’s grief when dad passed away right on her 61st birthday before dawn of June 17, 2000. We were at a loss how to pacify her with such a surreal date for the two most loving couple we have known first hand. During my dad’s wake, we have to warn everybody not to mention anything about mom’s birthday.

From then on, mommy practically stopped celebrating her birthday even when she turned 70, 75, and 80 as we threw small gatherings at home for her siblings and friends but she would always remind us all not to forget it was also daddy’s death anniversary.

That is why I have always dreaded the days approaching June 17 because I felt sad for her. I thought after her death last year, it would be different because we would no longer see mommy sad on her birthday mourning dad’s death. I told myself, “hindi na malulungkot si mommy… hindi na rin kami malulungkot.”

But I was wrong.

Hindi na nga malungkot ang mommy ko ngayon pero ako naman ang malungkot – malungkot na malungkot. Noon ngang araw ng Linggo bago mag-June 17, naalala ko ang mommy at daddy bigla kaya naluha ako sa bahagi ng Ama Namin noong aming Misa sa Dambana. Wala na sila dito. Iyon una ko nadama, ulila na nga kami at saka pa lamang naisip ko magkasama na sila sa buhay na walang hanggan.

Indeed, the pains of losing our loved ones never decrease through time but actually increase. Those pains will remain until we are reunited with them in death and eternity.

There are pains in life meant to remain, that cannot be removed like a hole or a scar in our hearts not to burden nor hurt us but to uplift us actually. These wounds keep us in persevering in love to keep our relationships alive with those left behind after the deaths of our loved ones like parents or children. These wounds enable our hearts to sing of faith, hope and love in God all merciful who would one day unite us all together as one family after our days on this earth. These pains make us see the very thin line separating us from eternity, telling us that life goes on among us even after death. They open our eyes to see beyond, to have visions of the future.

*Photo by author, my mom’s kitty bank, 10.5 inches to the tip of ears.*

While these things were running through me during our family dinner that night, my brother presented to me mommy’s “kitty bank” which is older than I am, 61 years old. It is one of her most cherished possessions she truly took great care as far as I can remember.

I have been thinking about it recently if it were still around though I never had any interest with it when growing up as a child except that I enjoyed counting the rare coins inside mostly dating back to the American occupation with the usual designs of the US flag and an eagle.

That evening on dad’s 25th death anniversary that could have been mom’s 86th birthday if she were still alive today, I felt a very strong attraction with that “kitty bank” whose face seemed to be speaking to me.

*Photo by author, my mom’s kitty bank, circa 1964.*

As I held it closer to see its many fissures and tapes following the wear and tear of over 60 years, I saw mommy again, of how she loved us and life so much, especially cats, dogs and fish, and most of all, plants- being a certified tita herself. Our house may be small but mommy lovingly took care of her pets and plants, always talking with them even after having a stroke.

Like the cat with its nine lives, death is never the end but the prelude to new life or, more lives hereafter.

And that is the nobility and giftedness of every mother – even after they are gone, they continue to bring forth and nurture life. God bless everyone… and the cats.

*Photo by author, my mom’s kitty bank in my room.*

Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Simbang Gabi-2 Homily, Tuesday, 17 December 2024
Genesis 49:2, 8-10 <*[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Matthew 1:1-17

*Photo by Atty. Polaris Grace R. Beron atop Mt. Sinai in Egypt, May 2019.*

Some of you must have noticed – even sang – the title of our second Simbang Gabi homily is from the lyrics of the song Lost Stars of the 2013 movie “Begin Again” starring Keira Knightley, Mark Ruffalo, Adam Levine and James Corden.

Every time the Advent season would come since the pandemic in 2020, Lost Stars would always come to my mind as it has some semblance with Isaiah’s prophecy about the coming of the Messiah when peace would finally be achieved with predators and preys living in harmony. It is a passage so lovely that it is used twice or thrice during Advent until Christmas.

Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb, and leopard shall lie down with the kid; the calf and the young lion shall browse together, with a little child to guide them. The cow and the bear shall b e neighbors, together their young shall rest; the lion shall eat hay like ox. The baby shall play by the cobra’s den, and the child lay his hand on the adder’s lair (Isaiah 11:6-8).

See now its semblance with Lost Stars and if you know the song, sing it:

And God
Tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and this lamb is on the run
We're searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars
Trying to light up the dark?

Who are we?
Just a speck of dust within the galaxy
Woe is me

If we're not careful turns into reality
Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow
Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer
Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears

Begin Again and Lost Stars are unlikely movie and song for Christmas but you will be surprised that they are indeed so perfectly apt for this season which is about love and loss, friendships and ties, hopes and dreams of a better future.

Christmas is actually a story about mankind “beginning again” in Jesus, of us like the prodigal son who was a “lost star” but found again by Christ. These realities we find in both our readings today from Genesis and from Matthew’s account of the genealogy of Jesus.

The world had always been at a loss since the fall of Adam and Eve. Mankind was in darkness that is why God sent His Son Jesus so that we can “begin again” no longer as “lost stars trying to light up the dark” but this time sharing Christ who is the true light of the world as we have reflected yesterday.

Like in that movie Begin Again, the coming of Jesus did not simply happen. There were a lot of twists and turns in the lives of the different characters in the story who were totally unaware and uncertain of what would happen next but, as every good love story would end, and they lived happily ever after.

*Photo by author, BED Chapel, Our Lady of Fatima University, Valenzuela City, 2022.*

The same is true with the coming of Jesus and with us today: how amazing and interesting that our Savior came from a lineage of family just like ours – imperfect even crazy and weird people. But, the good news is, eventually at the coming of Jesus, everything was neatly tied up by God in His grace we tremendously enjoy now.

Both the first reading and the gospel traced to us the roots of Jesus to the very beginning of Israel and Judaism, from Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and his sons led by Judah from whom came their greatest King, David, an ancestor of the Christ.

Of Jacob’s twelve sons, we wonder why Judah was the one blessed when it was Joseph who saved them all from famine and gave them a new start in Egypt. In fact, Judah would have a son with his daughter-in-law Tamar who disguised herself a prostitute to lure him into sex so she can have a son after her husband, Jacob’s son died and left her childless. Their children were Perez and Zerah (Mt. 1:3).

*Photo by author, San Fernando, Pampanga December 2022*.

Meanwhile, if Tamar pretended to be a prostitute, the second woman in the Lord’s genealogy was actually a prostitute named Rahab who was the mamasan of the brothel in Jericho where the spies sent by Joshua hid before attacking the ancient city. Rahab welcomed the Israelite spies led by Salmon after securing a pledge from them to save her family after their attack. Jericho fell and so were Salmon and Rahab. They named their son Boaz who later married a pagan woman named Ruth that was a big no-no among jews at that time. They had a son named Obed who became the father of Jesse, the father of King David.

Known as the greatest king of Israel from whose lineage the Savior would come, David was not totally a good king. He sinned big time against God not once: first, he not only took the wife of his army officer but even had him killed in a scheme after Bathsheba got pregnant with Solomon. One of his sons in his previous wife overthrew him but was later beheaded by his loyalist soldiers that caused David deep sorrow to compose Psalm 51.

*Photo by author, Fatima Avenue, Valenzuela City, December 2023.*

Behind all those names in the Lord’s genealogy by Matthew are great materials for modern-day telenovela with its unique plots with exciting twists and turns.

However, we hear it proclaimed today as we shift our focus into the second aspect of Advent of preparing for the first coming of Christ more than 2000 years ago to remind us that Jesus did not just appear as an isolated human being. He came from God, no doubt about it, but, He is also intimately and crucially linked with the history of His own people. And because of that, so are we.

All four evangelists have as their primary objective in writing their gospel accounts the provence, or origin of Jesus Christ, the Promised One of God. That had to be clear before everything else because they have to established clearly the identity of Jesus Christ.

Matthew opened his gospel account with the genealogy of Jesus to remind us too today of our origin in faith in Christ who gives us a new beginning in God. May this second day of our Simbang Gabi be our new beginning, no longer a lost star but a true star in the eyes of God meant to light the dark in Christ. Amen.

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

*You might be interested to listen to “Lost Stars”…better, watch “Begin Again” to warm your heart this Christmas.

From YouTube.com

Friday I’m in love with you…

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 22 October 2024

Video by author using iPhone, 18 October 2024 near Floridablanca Exit, SCTEX bound to Subic.

Please, do not report me to the SCTEX Mobile Patrol. Promise… I won’t do this again, taking a video of sunset while driving. Blame “The Cure” playing on my playlist Friday I’m In Love…

That was last Friday as I drove – alone, as usual of course, going to a much-needed rest and mental health break at Subic. It was actually long-delayed vacation from repeated invitations over ten years from my kinakapatid Leah and Eric.

We planned it last September during a dinner in Makati after I had promised to visit my Ninang Lyn, Leah and Eric’s mom who was also grieving for her eldest we called Koyang Dindo who died in January; she felt too my grief in losing my mom later in May. I promised to visit her after my hospitalization in August when Leah and Eric learned it that they both offered for us to have dinner instead to “lend” me their mom.

How can I say no when Ninang Lyn told me to join Leah and Eric in their Subic homes after saying, “ako na mommy mo ngayon”?

At Makati Shangrila Hotel, September 2024.
At Binictican home of Eric and Gic, 18-10-2024
Appetizing appetizers…
then salad, sirloin, prime rib and rice in steak’s drippings…
…and more wine.Cheers!

And whoa! What a Friday it was, truly a TGIF as I broke all rules not only in driving but also in eating and drinking! It was a wonderful evening of stories with great food and wine. Most of all, of love from true friends over 50 years!

Ninang Lyn’s husband, the late Atty. Fernando Ma. Alberto was a friend of my late dad. Unlike my siblings and friends, I only had just one pair of Ninong and Ninang in my baptism. Both have blessed me for being truly my “godparents”.

When my father passed away in 2000, it was Ninong Ding who helped me made a major decision in 2005, of whether I should stay or move to Canada to serve there instead. He told me to greatly consider the many experiences I have had in media and life that can greatly help more people here than abroad. True enough after six months in a parish in Toronto, I realized his wisdom, the great need of our countrymen mostly poor needing the love and care of pastors than the rich, ageing Catholics of Canada.

*With Dindo aka Nando Alberto during our roadtrip in Rizal in January 2021, listening only to Steely Dan the whole day!*

When Dindo’s condition worsened late last year, I got to see my Ninang more often along with her other children so united in those critical moments: Leah, Doc Mayette, Eric, Ricky and Toby with Joy sometimes joining us on Facebook live from California.

After Dindo died early this year, my mom died too in May. The Albertos were there coming all the way to Bulacan. And have remained until now.

What I like most with them is how they have never asked how I am doing because they knew so well what I am going through. Maybe that’s the gift and grace of over 50 years of friendship. They simply make themselves present, tenderly inviting me to go out and chillax. They so remind me of this passage from a Canadian author and poet who wrote in one of her books:

I overheard a conversation the other day.
He said, "But if you don't let people know
you are lost, how can they help you?"
She said, "Because the help I need is found
in the eyes of someone who sees I am lost.
Who stops to notice I have been gone, 
or my pace has slowed or my smile is forced.
If they can see those things, then they will know
that I need caring, not help."
- Nausicaa Twila

Lately, so many friends including their siblings were texting me, inviting me out for lunch or coffee, simply making me feel of their care as I go through this grieving phase. So glad to have them. And so blessed in giving me a glimpse of Jesus Christ’s loving presence in them, teaching me firsthand about love and care.

Here is another video clip I did last Friday but this time I stopped by the roadside at SCTEX near Floridablanca exit on the way to Subic. See you again this Friday for the second part of our Subic adventure.

Video by author using iPhone, 18 October 2024 with natural sound from my car stereo playing The Cure “In Between Days.”

Elijah & Jesus with “Lolo and the Kid”

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 13 August 2024

This is a rejoinder to my Sunday homily I posted here Saturday morning (https://lordmychef.com/2024/08/10/when-we-cry-this-is-enough-god-gives-us-more-than-enough-to-go-on/).

I had published my Sunday homily that Saturday morning when I decided to unwind by watching any movie on Netflix which I do only on weekends. So glad it was the first movie I saw, very related with the story of Prophet Elijah and Jesus Christ’s “Bread of Life Discourse” that Sunday.

First think I liked with Lolo and the Kid is its fast-paced story that revolved around the two characters played by veteran Joel Torre and GMA7’s famed Firefly star Euwenn Mikael Aleta.

Second thing so interesting with me is how Lolo and Kid have no proper names at all (I just learned Lolo’s name was Mario after reading the various write ups) maybe because they stand for all of us who are caught in this great race for money and material things but deep inside longing for the more essential and truly lasting in life like love. And people who love us too, who care for us, and would stand by us.

We are Lolo and Kid who many times have traded our principles for momentary satisfaction but despite our seemingly strong facades of pragmatism and “resourcefulness” or madiskarte as Lolo taught Kid in the movie, deep inside us is still our conscience where God dwells, telling us to pursue good and shun evil. Joel Torre perfectly portrayed this beautiful side in each one of us (with his Ilonggo accent) of keeping a conscience despite our sinfulness, like a soft shell we delicately keep whole and intact inside lest we lose everything in life.

Recall our first reading last Sunday about Elijah fleeing to the mountain from an army pursuing to kill him. Elijah felt a total failure like Lolo and us many times in life when after all our goodwill and love, we are dumped by the very people we care for.

Elijah went a day’s journey into the desert, until he came to a broom tree and sat beneath it. He prayed for death, saying: “This is enough, O Lord! Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers” (1 Kings 19:4).

In one of the scenes of Lolo and the Kid, we find Lolo crying, cursing everyone and murmuring just like in last Sunday’s gospel. As he tried to end his life with a knife, Lolo suddenly heard the cry of an infant from the heap of garbage around him. What a beautiful portrayal of that infant left in the trash like Jesus Christ born on a manger becoming the savior of Lolo, a definitive message of mercy and love from God after his apparent cry of “This is enough, Lord!”

How many times have we found ourselves in the same situation, often in less momentous ones than Elijah or any prophet and saint, crying out to God in the heavens “this is enough”?

But, what is also most true behind every cry of “this is enough” that we make, we continue to believe and to hope in God that there is still a way out of our plight. And very often like in the story of Elijah last Sunday and in that scene in Lolo and the Kid, God comes at the nick of time like that infant crying in the garbage heap, a reminder of life and beauty found within us despite all the dirt we may have around us.

Here we find the Kid, perfectly played by Euwenn like in Firefly, as the saving grace, the Christ-figure in the movie bringing salvation to Lolo. Kid was “the bread of life from heaven” who “fed” Lolo with life with its meaning and direction. And joy found in Kid, the image of Christ Jesus.

Now, joy according to Jesus at the Last Supper is like a woman at the pangs of childbirth (Jn.16:21-22); it is deeper than happiness. True joy is borne out of self-sacrifice, a fruit of self-denial, of loving somebody more than one’s self. This we find at the end of this moving film.

Now all grown up, Kid finally met again Lolo in the hospital a day after his college graduation. Kid brought Lolo while seated on a wheelchair to visit Taba (another character without a name), their suki in fencing. From there, they went to their usual stop, a videoke bar to eat and drink, singing repeatedly Kenny Roger’s Through the Years.

Then, Lolo died, singing the only tune he knew that summed their beautiful relationship.

After Lolo’s body was taken out of the videoke bar, Kid opened Lolo’s bag that had a tin can of biscuit filled with old photographs taken with their stolen Polaroid camera. The photos did not merely remind Kid of their happy times together but most especially when they were already apart!

Unknown to Kid, Lolo hid to take photos when he moved to his adoptive parents, from his first ever birthday party to his college graduation! Through the years, Lolo, like God, was always there, present in all of Kid’s milestones in life because he is truly loved.

I have never liked that song Through the Years even when it was a hit during our high school days in 1981 but since Saturday, I have been humming it silently, hearing it inside me as an LSS until now. We hear the song playing throughout the end of the movie with scenes of how Lolo secretly took Kid’s photos filled with love and joy amid the strong current of pain within he had to endure to be far and away yet so near to his beloved apo.

If the Kid is the Christ figure in this film, Lolo is the God-the-Father figure, the One who seems so far from us as if He does not care at all. In Lolo and the Kid, there is that message of God never leaving us wherever we may be, whether we are in the squalor of poverty and sin or in the purity and cleanliness of affluence and grace maybe. God like Lolo to Kid is always with us but never interferes, silently doing many things to ensure that despite our many faults and failures in life, we end up in Him and His love.

We go back to Elijah’s cry of “This is enough, Lord!”, our very same cry like Lolo in the movie.

It is a cry that is also a prayer coming from our innermost being when we feel so saddled with no one to unload our woes except to God – who after all is the very reason why we cry! Watch for Lolo’s soliloquy on this reality we often do.

*Photo by author, James Alberione Center, QC, 08 August 2024.*

It is a cry of faith so akin with love because to believe and to love go hand in hand. It is during that moment when we feel like giving up to God, crying “this is enough” when in reality we surrender everything to God because we have been caught up by Him that we cannot resist His attraction.

It is that moment when we feel so “fed up with life” but deep inside, we hear God telling us like Lolo with the cries of an infant or like Elijah with an angel instructing him, “Get up and eat, else the journey will be too long for you!” (1 Kings 19:7).

Yes, our life journey is still long but we have a companion in Jesus, our bread of life from heaven, nourishing us, strengthening us, teaching us that essential beauty of love found only in sharing one’s life for the other. As we have said in last Sunday’s homily, it is when we cry “it is enough, Lord” when God gives us more than enough to sustain us sometimes in the form of a good movie like this one. May we have more “bread” like Lolo and the Kid that feeds our soul and gladdens our heart.

*BTW, we are not paid to endorse this movie; simply sharing with you its good news.

Having love & having been loved

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Memorial of Sts. Martha, Mary & Lazarus, 29 July 2024
1 John 4:7-16 <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> John 11:19-27

If you have love in your heart, you have been blessed by God; if you have been loved, you have been touched by God (Anonymous author).

What a lovely Monday
You have given us today,
O God our Father
as we celebrate the Memorial 
of the friends of Jesus Christ,
the sisters St. Mary and St. Martha
with their brother St. Lazarus -
a beautiful 
and most powerful
reminder to us all 
that Jesus comes
first in our family
most especially 
among our siblings.

How sad, dear Father
are the growing number of couples
having only one child
or two the most 
with kids denied of this 
most wonderful experience
of kinship;
on the other hand,
there is the growing trend
of family disintegration
due to divorce and separation
of many couples
with children as main casualties;
likewise, of the growing trend
among young people to selfishly
pursue many things in life
in total disregard of others
beginning in their own family circle.

No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us (1 John 4:12).

Help us, dear Father,
to rekindle this love 
we first experienced 
in our homes, 
among our siblings
like Saints Mary,
Martha and Lazarus;
let us discover anew
the wonderful
and amazing gifts of
brothers and sisters
in the family
who remind us
of your blessing us
with so much love in our hearts;
let us feel and
experience again
your gift of love in our hearts
in the mere mention of
names of our own brother
and/or sister
who made us first experience
love next from our parents;
refresh our memories
of those times You touched us
with the selfless love,
the unconditional love
freely shared with us
by our brother
and/or sister.

We pray,
most merciful Father,
for all brothers
and sisters separated
from each other
due to misunderstandings,
jealousy,
betrayals and mistrust;
like St. Martha,
let us never lose faith
and hope for estranged
brothers and sisters
to rise anew from their
deaths into sin,
to find again that love
You have given them in their hearts
and most of all,
touch them
so they may remember
and miss anew
those experiences
of being loved by their
siblings in their childhood
to rebuild their ties again
in Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Restore us, O Lord

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Sixteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 23 July 2024
Micah 7:14-15, 18-20 <'[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Matthew 12:46-50

Restore us, O god our savior, and abandon your displeasure against us. Will you be ever angry with us, prolonging your anger to all generations? Will you not instead give us life; and shall not your people rejoice in you? Show us, O Lord, your kindness, and grant us your salvation (Today’s Responsorial Psalm 85:5-8).

It has been raining 
for almost a week in many
parts of the country of the world
with images of floods everywhere,
many are perennial ones but
many are so unusual and unheard of;
everybody is complaining,
everybody is blaming
everyone for the disaster
except one's self.

That is why I love the
psalmist's prayer today:
"Restore us, O God our savior";
it has so many meanings
and applications so relevant
these days of rains and floods -
repair and renovate the many
roads and homes destroyed;
but most of all,
bring us back to You, O God;
let us return to You
by finding each one a family
 as Jesus taught us
in today's gospel,
"For whoever does the will
of my heavenly Father
is my brother,
and sister,
and mother"
(Matthew 12:50).

Like the remnants of Israel
the Prophet Micah spoke of
in the first reading,
keep me faithful, standing before
You, O Lord in these trying
times of natural and human disasters.
Amen.

Birthday & funeral

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 20 June 2024

As a priest for 26 years, I have been a frequent visitor to cemeteries to bless parishioners, friends and relatives who have died. It was more of duties and ministry for me as a priest except for some who were dear to me.

But, when mommy passed away last month, visiting the cemetery has become something more personal with much meaning deep within, now both our parents are gone. I did not feel it when daddy died 24 years ago on mommy’s birthday. Perhaps it was partly because of the fact I had to come and visit their graves so often these past days: for the wake and burial of mommy from May 7-11, then her 40th day June 15, then again on the 17th for her 85th birthday and dad’s 24th death anniversary. Of course, we are coming back July 26 for dad’s 92nd birthday.

So, definitely I shall be coming there more often in the years to come as a son, secondary only as a priest.

Now it has become clearer to us siblings why dad died on mom’s birthday 24 years ago: so that it is more economical – matipid – for us to come and visit their gravesites. Isang puntahan na lang! Birthday at kamatayan. How I really wish and pray daily our parents are already reunited finally in eternity to enjoy each other’s company again before God.

*Our parents, always together especially during meals.*

My parents were not perfect couple. They quarreled, had misunderstandings like most husband and wife. But they strived so hard in loving each other despite their imperfections along with ours their children. This they practiced so well on the dining table, always eating together.

From my earliest memory until I became a priest, they have always taken their meals together. Most often, it was my dad who would always wait for my mom to be back home and be told by her personally that she had eaten somewhere in a party. That’s the only time he would really eat while my mom sat beside him, serving him while telling him stories where she had gone with her friends. Many times we would tease mommy whenever friends would pick her up to an event or socials without dad. “Maghihintay na naman ang daddy sa inyo, hindi kakain yun.” But she would tell us often the glaring truth about my dad, “ang daddy ninyo walang sinasabi sa aking ganyan; basta alam niya aalis ako. Sabayan ninyo sa pagkain.”

*Our parents during their honeymoon in 1964.*

Of course, dad would wait for her and most often, he was the one serving us children during meal until his retirement!

When I was in the seminary until I became a priest, every time I would come home to visit them, dad would always ask me if I had eaten. Even if I told him I have had lunch or merienda, he would still get food and serve them on the table. What can I do, especially if he cooked mechado or pochero that Sunday and had kept some leftovers in the fridge? I would always eat everything para daw maubos na ang mga natira at mahugasan na ang mangkok. That’s how I learned that eating is also an apostoalte for us priests…

When daddy died suddenly of a heart attack before dawn on mommy’s birthday on June 17, 2000, I kept asking him why he died on that date. Every Sunday after my Masses, I would go to the cemetery and ask him that question again and again. “Dad, there are 365 days in a year… why June 17?”

My mom was inconsolable during daddy’s wake until his first death anniversary. Part of her really died with daddy’s demise. Most like why she had a stroke six years later.

*Mommy on her wedding day, 26 April 1964.*

They have always been together in almost everything. It was dad who would wake up ahead of mom to prepare breakfast, especially coffee. And only him knows so well when my mom is ready to sip her hot coffee he had prepared; that’s the time he would go upstairs to tell her breakfast was ready.

Whenever we have visitors at home especially during fiestas and holidays, they were all praises with our food. Naturally, they praised mommy, thinking mothers cooked best. But not in our home. And the funny thing was, both of them would fall silent when our food were praised: mom would never say it was dad who cooked nor claim the accolades while dad would never speak a word about it. That’s when we the children would tell our guests our dad was the chef, adding our mom was just for sigang, paksiw and monggo. That is why during our first Christmas without dad, when I went to visit mommy at the eve to give my gifts, I saw her crying while cooking, telling me how she missed dad who would do all the cooking. From then on, I have found the best excuse why we must just order food during family gatherings at home – not only to spare mommy of the troubles cooking but to have really delicious food!

*Our family after visiting our parents last June 17 on a vacation together.*

My dad finally answered my question a few months after his death why he died on mommy’s birthday. It happened in the most strange way because I am more closer to my dad than to mommy with whom I always had a lot of misunderstandings due to her always in opposition with my plans, even my entering the seminary to become a priest.

One time we had some tampuhan blues that I decided not to come home thrice on Sundays. On the fourth Sunday after my mass as I visited daddy’s gravesite, I asked him again my question. As usual, no reply but in some moments of silence, I felt him telling me in my heart, “Nick, I died on your mommy’s birthday so that you would love her much like I have loved her.”

Suddenly, I realized my sins against her, of how I have showed her my anger until tears rolled down my cheeks.

After saying my prayers and blessing his gravesite, I headed home to visit mommy. From then on, I have tried my very best to be like dad with my mom by being more loving, more caring, more understanding and on many occasions, playing deaf to what she said.

*Like our parents, we are always together in meals.*

People say we must visit three places once in a while, namely, hospital, prison, and cemetery. Hospital so that we may realize that there is nothing more beautiful than health; in the prison for us to see that freedom is most precious; and cemetery that life is worth nothing because the ground we walk today will be our roof tomorrow.

It is the love we have for each other that gives meaning to these places that make them worth visiting. As a priest and most of all, as a son, a brother, and a friend I have realized these so true. Don’t wait for death to come. Or birthdays. Sometimes, they happen simultaneously. Just keep loving.

Now they are both gone and hopefully together in eternity, every time I bless their gravesite, I feel them telling me the same thing – love my siblings the way they loved us. Thank you for taking time to read this piece, hope all’s well with you and your loved ones.

"No one has ever seen God.
Yet, if we love one another,
God remains in us,
and his love is brought to perfection
in us" (1 John 4:12).
Amen.

High school life, married life

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 19 June 2024

*With our Grade 7 Students in our San Fernando, Pampanga campus last March.*

In my 26 years in the priesthood, the primary reason I have always objected to divorce aside from its being against the teaching of the Lord are the children. When couples separate, their children suffer the most.

Whenever I would speak to couples getting married, I always insist on this important aspect of marriage, of having children, of how this life calls for much maturity and responsibilities from husband and wife to ensure a bright future not only for them but for humanity. From them will come children and future generations. The kind of life they surely affects their children for better or for worst. And there is our future.

Marriage is not a question or a thing based on luck – the Sacrament and grace of God are not everything. Couples need to work harder and pray hardest to keep their union strong in faith, hope and love so that they would have good children who shall be matured and responsible Christians and citizens.

*Praying with our students in our main campus in Valenzuela City.*

Allowing divorce is opening the floodgates of so many abuses and excuses that will surely destroy the basic unit of the society, the family. Very often in my interaction with students from separated parents, they always have two wishes: that their parents would not separate or if still possible be reunited; and the second, how they wished they were not born to experience all pains and difficulties of having parents on the verge or already separated.

Very sad. Even tragic.

That is why the more I find meaning in my priesthood assigned in the school. Actually, it is more difficult than being in a parish but most fulfilling as I get to see my students mature and bloom, though there were times some of them got lost or went wayward in their lives.

My first assignment after ordination was as administrator-teacher of our diocesan school in Malolos for 11 years, the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) and Immaculate Conception School of Malolos (ICSM). In 2011, I literally begged our bishop to assign me to a parish as I have never experienced being a pastor. During our grand reshuffle in 2021, our new bishop assigned me anew as chaplain here at my present assignment at the Our Lady of Fatima University (OLFU) in Valenzuela and its five other campuses.

Every day in my encounters and engagements with students in the sacraments and casual talks, the more I feel my “fatherhood” – here are thousands of kids longing for a dad, a father. Many times I tease God, asking Him if this is the reason why we priests do not get married so that we could take care of somebody else’s children?!

What a joy that even for a brief moment I become a dad for many of them in my stories and teachings. And presence.

*Speaking to our elementary students after their weekly Mass in our Valenzuela campus.*

That is why I feel so glad and proud of many of my students especially from ICSB who have turned out so well as responsible dads and faithful husbands to their wives. One of them was Micah who asked me to officiate his wedding to Lery shortly before the pandemic in 2020.

The homily I prepared for their wedding was actually a review of the five important things I used to tell Lery and all my students in ICSB to have in their pocket as a man: handkerchief, money, pen, comb, and Rosary.

Here’s my homily (just click the link).

Five reminders from high school for married life

*Lery at my back in another wedding of his classmate in January 2020.*

Micah and Lery are happily married with two kids and a third coming in eight months. They all live abroad where Micah is working.

Most of his barkada are also happily married, many abroad too like him.

I send them my prayers and reflections once in a while as I remember them all in prayers, hoping their marriage will remain strong, that they – and their kids – would truly be icons of the love of God in Jesus Christ. Amen.