Husband & Wife, an Icon of Christ

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 04 June 2024

Here is our second instalment of our contribution in reflecting why divorce should not be allowed because it is against the plan of God and therefore, a sin. Please, we are not judging anyone here.

It is the simple truth that for the longest time people have refused to accept in their hearts that they have continuously sought ways of justifying divorce because right in their hearts, they are the first ones bothered. They had their chance to confront Jesus Christ about it 2000 years ago but the Lord minced no words when He declared the painful truth any pro-divorce would not discuss, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt.19:8).

How sad when articles come out trying so hard to dilute this truth by deliberately interpreting it in their own terms especially the many statements by Pope Francis which he had repeatedly clarified including that of the same sex union.

Most sad is when a news report supposed to present all sides chooses to cite only the questionable teachings of some experts in religion or theology without citing the Sacred Scriptures, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Church documents for official teachings on marriage. Worst, the same report highlighted views of Catholic theologians silenced long ago (may they rest in peace) by the Church for their misleading views on morality!

Divorce is against God’s plan. Marriage is only between a man and a woman as created by God, not invented by any one that is subject to changes or whims. Jesus explained this clearly in the same gospel scene which we shall echo today and forever: “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and he said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mt.19:4-6).

As a creation of God, marriage is a sacrament, a sign of His saving presence in this world in Jesus Christ who had come to reassert this truth. The problem remains the hardness of the hearts of people, especially of those getting married who are so preoccupied with the accidentals of marriage without realizing that they are an icon of Jesus.

My first assignment after ordination in 1998 was to teach at the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos City. We also run an all-girls high school and an elementary school for boys and girls.

Marian was my student from elementary to high school whom I have known so well including her parents. We call our students ICONS, from the initials of our school name. Here are parts of my homily to Marian’s wedding last June 29, 2019 at the Malolos Cathedral.

Congratulations to you, my dearest Marian and Matt!

God willed that you get married today on the Solemnity of St. Peter and St. Paul, the two pillars of the Church established by our Lord Jesus Christ.

Like you, Marian and Matt, St. Peter and St. Paul are two people of opposite personalities, of different social and cultural backgrounds but were able to overcome these to work together for Jesus Christ. We celebrate their feast together because despite their many differences, they were united in their love for Jesus Christ. It was Christ who brought them together and kept them together so his Church would grow and be what it is today.

The same is true with you, Marian and Matt: Jesus Christ brought you together in spite of your many differences to be united in his love. Most of all, Marian and Matt, Jesus wants you to be his ICONS or images in the world today that has become individualistic.

An icon or image of Jesus like St. Peter and St. Paul is to be one in the Lord. A man and woman get married to become disciples of Christ, to become one in Christ, to look like Christ. That is the meaning of the word sacrament, visible sign of the saving presence of Jesus in the world.

And that is why the gospel you have chosen for your wedding day is so perfect, the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus gave us his Beatitudes that are actually directions for discipleship… let us reflect on the sixth Beatitude of Jesus: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God” (Mt.5:8).

Remember the Little Prince where the fox told him that “What is essential is invisible to the eye; it is only with the heart one can truly see”?

We can only see God with our hearts. The intellect alone is never enough.

And so it is with any person.

We can learn and know so many things about another person with our intellect but nothing will be enough for us to truly love him or her unless we let our hearts see the real him or her.

The heart is the wholeness of the person. Yesterday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Sometimes, when we use our minds, we see the world as so dark and so evil. But, if we have hearts that can see, we will be more surprised that there are more goodness, more beauty in this world than what we hear and see in the news and around us.

Marian and Matt, always have a clean heart to see each one’s goodness and beauty.

Always go back to those early days when you first saw each other with your hearts. Aside from the kilig factor, you felt and realized something deeper with each other. The beloved disciple, St. John, wrote in our first reading, “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1 Jn. 4:11-12).

And that is how we see God and others: always with our hearts when we love.

To have a clean heart, Marian and Matt, is to enter into the mind of Jesus Christ and that is to embrace his Cross. Having a clean heart is becoming one with Jesus Christ, especially in his love and fidelity.

A clean heart is a loving heart that always gives life, other-centered, veritable and enduring. Always in communion with Jesus Christ who gave us the new commandment to love like him by being rooted in the Father.

The love of Christ is the fire that purifies and cleanses our hearts, unifying our intellect, will and emotion that enables us to see oneness in ourselves before God. We see not only the good and the bad sides in ourselves but also among those around us, especially those we love.

Look back at your many experiences, Marian and Matt. Look at your past lives, your struggles, your mistakes and sins. Despite all these, you have also seen and experienced God’s loving presence in you in spite of your many darkness and divisions within.

That is why you are so “blessed”, Marian and Matt, because today on your wedding day, you enter God himself and you are able to “see” him with your loving hearts despite your pains and hurt, failures and shortcomings. Keep your hearts clean in Jesus Christ so you may always see God in each other. Amen.
https://lordmychef.com/2019/07/06/husband-and-wife-icons-of-christ/

*Photo by author, Malolos Cathedral 2019.*

My dearest married couples, please do not forget that fact, that reality: you are an image, an icon of Jesus Christ. And what a great honor!

That is why Jesus made His first miracle in a wedding at Cana to show your special place in God’s plan. You have chosen a most difficult kind of life but that is why you chose to get married in the Church – to be blessed by God.

God keeps His promise. Keep yours too! Praying for all couples especially those going through difficulties these days.

Coming home, going home

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 10 May 2024

*Photo by Veejay Villafranca/Bloomberg via Getty Images*

My most vivid image of mommy’s love for me is from June 1979 when I bid her goodbye in her sari-sari store on my way to the high school seminary. That was the last time I felt I was a kid, her child, when she hugged me tightly, then held my head and kissed me as she fixed by combed hair, telling me “magpapakabait ka doon, anak.”

She had always been against my entering the seminary, saying I was too young to know about the priesthood. She did all the scare tactics to me: “hindi ka mag-aasawa, isda at tuyo araw-araw ang ulam ninyo, hindi masarap pagkain doon…” She finally allowed me to enter the seminary on second year high school I believe after my dad had silently persuaded her.

It was funny because on my fourth year before graduation, I felt I was not ready yet for the major seminary that was eventually confirmed by the results of my entrance exam (psychological tests actually) to San Carlos Seminary that it was suggested I better leave the seminary.

*My mother Corazon before their wedding in 1964.*

Tama nga si mommy.

It was from then on when we had that kind of not so smooth mother-son relationship. I felt far from her as she would always say something to my plans and decisions. She was not really a contravida but more of an oppositionist. That is why when I felt my vocation anew later in 1988, I never told her about it until I was about to go back to the seminary. That time, there was no more hugging and kissing maybe because I was already an adult, a man bigger and stronger than her.

But what was most memorable for me now that she is gone was the scene every time I would go back the seminary and later to my assignments as a priest.

Whenever I would tell her “mommy, uuwi na po ako”, she would say while smiling, “e nasa bahay ka, paano ka pa uuwi?”

That happened so often that she sounded so corny but still, thank God, I never tired explaining to her, “uuwi sa seminaryo” later to Malolos then to Bagbaguin and now to Fatima. She never failed to banter with me with her dry humor and stroke during those moments of my leaving home. I think she was telling me in those every good bye of ours that my home would always be her, my family. That is why after her body was taken from her room last Tuesday morning, the scene that struck me most on her death was her empty room, vacant big bed.

As I left home pauwi sa Fatima, the morning sunshine were so lovely as it softly brightened mommy’s empty room as she is now “home” in heaven with daddy.

Overall, I feel so joyful and grateful in my mother’s demise. She left so peacefully in her sleep as I have prayed to God daily. The outpouring of love and sympathies and friends are beyond our expectations or imaginations. But, there is that fear, a dread in me about coming home, finding her room empty, telling me she is gone.

Mommy’s room is now empty but our hearts are so full of her love, of her memories, of her gift of self.

During the pandemic, I begged God not to take my mom yet. I told God I was not ready because she was primarily the reason I “go home”. As I reflect on the meaning of that image of her empty room, I realized that it is not about going home but coming home. We go home to the house and place but we come home to persons, to family and friends.

Pag-uwi in Tagalog which is literally coming home. Not going home. Because when we leave, we say uuwi also as we come home to our new home.

We Filipinos express both our kinship and Christian faith in our goodbyes.

Our professor in liturgy Msgr. Andy Valera used to tell us we never say aalis na ako or “I am leaving” because that means we are angry. It is very rude and should never be said when saying goodbye in any Filipino gathering. Instead, we say next to uuwi na ako either tutuloy na ako or mauna na ako. But, how can we make tuloy which is to enter when we are in fact leaving? And why say mauna na ako which means I’ll go ahead when nobody is going with you?

According to Msgr. Andy, our coming home indicates our theology of heaven: we all come home, uwi to heaven our true home that is why when we leave our gatherings we say tutuloy na ako because in the end, we enter heaven. Most of all, we say mauna na ako because nobody knows who is next to die.

What a beautiful lesson I just realized now after mommy had died; even if she’s gone and her empty is room, I will still come home to my sisters and brother, nieces and nephew, relatives and neighbors.

How lovely that despite the pain and emptiness death creates in us here on earth is also the grace of God to fill each others heart with His loving presence and joy as we await our final coming home to Him with our departed loved ones in heaven.

Jesus told his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.”
John 14:1-3

The best way to come home to heaven is to come home often to our family and friends not only to dine and celebrate but most of all, to praise and thank God in prayers, especially the Sunday Mass. God bless everyone!

Death answers questions of life

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 09 May 2024

*Our mother had always loved flowers and shades of pink, especially pink carnation her favorite.*

It has been said death is the greatest equalizer. But with my mom’s recent passing, I realized too that death is the best explainer of life. Death is life’s final joke on us that answers, clarifies the many questions we have been asking in our lifetime.

Consider these:

Dad died on June 17, 2000, my mom’s 61st birthday; we celebrated his 40th day of death on his birthday, July 26, 2000. He died on a Saturday, the eve of Father’s Day.

Mommy died May 07, 2024 with her 40th day coming on June 15, two days before her 85th birthday and dad’s 24th death anniversary. This Sunday after her burial is Mother’s Day.

Ever since my father died, I have realized that death weaves a certain pattern in our lives, telling us a lot of things about us and our loved ones. And about life itself if we would have faith in God by setting aside our fears and superstitions.

Photo by author, *somewhere in Bgy. Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite, 27 April 2024.*

See how Jesus spoke to His disciples about His coming death during their Last Supper:

“Now I am going to the one who sent me, and not one of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts. But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you… But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what he hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming.”
John 16:5-7, 13

It is always after someone had died when things and life itself become clearer for us. In every death comes an unfolding of truth in time, in persons. It is after a beloved had died when we realize how much we do not know of their goodness or kindness that often we are surprised at the outpouring of love by those who come to their wake. Many times, strangers know more of the brighter side of a person when he/she dies. Along this line of mystery of the person we find too how death happens on days that at first seem to mean nothing at all but at closer look, or later as we moved on in life after the demise of a loved one, we see how every death points to something about us and our family and friends!

Hence, we say death is not the end but the beginning of eternity. Actually, with the deaths of my father and now of my mom, I have found death is life. No wonder St. Francis referred to death as a person, calling him “cousin Death.”

This became more clear to me when I became a chaplain at the Fatima University Medical Center (FUMC) in Valenzuela City.

Last year I took care of an elderly priest, Msgr. Teng Manlapig when he was confined in our hospital for almost a month. Two days before he died on February 26, 2023, he asked me to hear his confession. It was a Friday and February 26 last year was the first Sunday in Lent when the gospel was the temptation of Christ in the wilderness.

It was on that Sunday evening after seeing Msgr. Teng for the last time before he was taken to the funeral parlor when I remembered another priest I had cared during his dying days, Msgr. Macario Manahan who died in front of me in his retirement home on March 16, 2014 – the second Sunday in Lent when the gospel was the Transfiguration.

What a tremendous gift from God for me to care until their deaths of two monsignori in the Season of Lent. From them I have realized that our final altar as priests are our deathbeds where even to the end, we celebrate Mass and the Sacraments. From that day on too, I have prayed to God to allow me to go home to Him not during Lent but on Easter. Or, preferably on Ascension Sunday when my time comes.

Have a blessed day celebrating life, finding its meaning and beauty in the prism of cousin Death in Jesus Christ. Amen.

We never get used with death

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 07 May 2024

*My favorite photo of my mom and dad, so candid, “silang-sila talaga”; now, they are together in heaven.*

Yes. It is true. I just realized today that we never get used to any death because every death is different as the person who dies. And most especially, now I have realized, every death is always a blessing from God.

I was preparing for our 630AM Mass today when my youngest niece called me, crying, and the only word I understood she was saying was “Mamu”, referring to my mother. I then asked my brother priest to take over my Mass as I headed home. In less than half an hour, I was anointing my mom for the final moment, said prayers and blessed her body with Holy Water with my sisters and only brother.

I knew this day was coming, even approaching.

In 2020 during the COVID pandemic, I begged God to keep us all safe, not to take any one from my family, especially Mommy who had a stroke in 2005. June last year she had another stroke but refused to stay in the hospital, begged me not to have her confined, “Father, huwag mo ako ipa-ospital…tama na… ayoko na.” What can I do but obey my mother. Last January, she had permanently been bed-ridden, been sleeping for days, and had refused to eat on several days. But one thing we noticed she had always been bubbling with joy, cracking jokes whenever she would wake up.

*Mommy would always say the day she married my dad was the happiest day of her life.*

Every week, I would visit her, anoint her with Holy Oil and bring her Holy Communion. Since January this year, I have been praying to God to give my mother a peaceful death. I did not ask for her happy death because I felt how happy she has been this past year. Lord, just make it peaceful. No more pain because she had gone through many pain in her life since her childhood as she used to tell me. That is why she insisted on us to all finish our studies because she never had the chance to even reach high school because of that dictum in those years “mag-aasawa lang ang babae…”

And she died peacefully. Definitely, happily early today. My sister said she was supposed to give her medications before 6AM when mommy did not move or even twitch a little. She was still warm, my sister said but unusually still unlike before. That was when they called me.

Like when my dad suddenly died on mommy’s birthday, June 17, 2000, I could not cry hard enough. I feel very sad. But there is that inner joy and peace within me. Especially with my mom’s passing. I thought I would be used to her dying, having prepared for this day, having through dad’s sudden death 24 years ago.

By the way, my homilies since Sunday have always revolved around mommy:

Love in every turn

God bless all women!

What “joins” us?

I never knew mommy would “join” daddy today in heaven.

Iba pa rin pala. God is so good. That’s all I feel at the moment. God is so good. He listens and grants our deepest prayers. All praise to Him. Kindly pray for my mother, Corazon. God bless you too and thank you.

Jesus our Good Shepherd, the Gift & the Giver Himself

The Lord Is My Chef Easter Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Fourth Sunday in the Easter Season, Cycle B, 21 April 2024
Acts 4:8-12 ><}}}}*> 1 John 3:1-2 ><}}}}*> John 10:1-10

*Photo by author, dusk at Anvaya Cove in Bataan, 15 April 2024.*

My kinakapatid is turning 60 this week with a dinner to be prepared by an Italian chef. His sister texted me for my main course and I chose lamb chops. And immediately she replied, “Pareho tayo. Mary’s little pet… the one who takes away the sins of the world.” Her wit floored me that I had to agree with a text, “Right. The most biblical and holiest food.”

Sorry for some little bragging as we celebrate this fourth Sunday in Easter as “Good Shepherd Sunday”…

We Filipinos have a hard time getting the “feel” of the shepherd because we have never had that image in our culture. Hence, it is a most welcomed development that there is now a growing popularity in tending sheep in the country while the Filipino palate had finally discovered a taste for lamb.

Come to think of this: the sheep exists only for two reasons, for food and clothing. They are meant to be slaughtered unlike dogs or cats or birds kept as pets. Another notable thing with sheep is the fact it is the only land animal that go against the flow when crossing a river like the salmon!

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD, at Katmon Nature Sanctuary & Beach Resort in Infanta, Quezon, 03 April 2024.*

I love those characteristics of the sheep, for slaughtering which is almost like offering and always going against the tide. Exactly just like our Lord Jesus Christ who identified Himself as the good shepherd.

Jesus said: “I am the good shepherd. A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep… This is why the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own. I have power to lay it down, and power to raise it up again. This command I have received from my Father (John 10:11, 17-18).

See the flow of the Lord’s statements.

*Photo from https://aleteia.org/2019/05/12/three-of-the-oldest-images-of-jesus-portrays-him-as-the-good-shepherd/*.

First we notice here His use of the “I AM” which for the Jews refers to God when He told Moses “I AM WHO AM.” Clearly, Jesus was declaring to the people at that time that He is the Son of God, the awaited Messiah or Christ.

This scene was shortly before the feast of the dedication of the Jews after Jesus had healed a man born blind, a miracle never heard of at that time. It was a big issue then as authorities refused to accept that Jesus did indeed healed the man born blind.

Secondly, Jesus mentioned four times in just three verses the act of “laying down his life for the sheep” (vv. 11, 17, and 18). It sounded so good to hear how Jesus loves us so much that He would lay down His life for us his sheep; but, those were not just mere words Jesus expressed but a reality that happened at the Cross on Good Friday that He actually explained after this discourse at their Last Supper!

Keep in mind that we are now going back to the earlier discourses and teachings of Jesus that only became clear to the disciples including us today after Easter. We shall be having a lot of these “flashbacks” to understand and love Jesus more and His teachings.

According to Pope Benedict XVI in his first book of the Jesus of Nazareth series, “The Cross is at the center of the shepherd discourse” (page 280). When Jesus said “This is my Body… This is my Blood”, He meant really Himself being given for us; Jesus did not merely give something for us but His very self as seen on the Cross on Good Friday.

That is how Jesus gives life – by giving up His life for us so that when He arose, we then share in His being a good shepherd through our little dying to ourselves because of love, giving life to those around us.

As the good shepherd, Jesus was the first to enter death, to be slaughtered but this time minus the violence and gore of the Cross that was the worst punishment of all time when He said “I lay down my life in order to take it up again”. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own.”

Yes, there was victimhood but more than that was His being an offering never forced nor imposed by anyone or by circumstances. Jesus did it all for love!

Though He was handed over (paradidomi) and betrayed by Judas, Jesus was totally free, actively passive went to his Passion and Death because He was very certain of His Resurrection.

We experience the same thing many times in life when we have to make great sacrifices like when we have to allow a loved one to die after a long illness. Death is a grace and a blessing when freely given too by those around the dying, freeing the dying person of any guilt when he/she finally goes.

The same thing is true when friends and lovers separate either because they have found other loves to pursue or worst, have fallen out of love with us despite all our love for them. It is the most unkindest cut of all breakups and separations, excruciatingly painful as we blindly give up our relationships ironically for love. More than the persons and circumstances involved, we freely choose to let go – magparaya in Filipino – because deep in our wounded and hollowed heart is the hope they may grow in their new love.

Here we are like Jesus the Good Shepherd because even in the death of our relationships is still found our love. Like Jesus Christ, we do not simply give something but our very selves. The Jesuit theologian Karl Rahner beautifully expressed this when he described Jesus is both “the Gift and the Giver.”

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD of the sheep’s wool, 03 April 2024.*

Love is better shown than said. Love cannot be defined but only be described for it is so wide and vast in its nature and scope. Love simply shows itself. That is why when we speak of love, we use comparisons and analogies and yet, they are not enough. How much more when we speak of the love of God?!

This Sunday, Jesus spoke of His love like every human being using the language of parable and allegories. But truly Divine, we find so much more when He claimed “I AM the good shepherd.” It is His total person and self, His being both the Gift and the Giver.

The good news is, because of His giving of self, we too have become like Him able to give ourselves wholly in love. Like Peter in the first reading, we experienced great powers within us not innately ours but God working in us, enabling us to empower others by healing them not literally but figuratively speaking.

When Jesus declared “I AM the good shepherd”, He reminds us of being the children of God, His indwelling, our being an “I AM” of God Himself. Like Him, we are good shepherds able to love in Christ to the point of being foolish as St. Paul experienced.

Like the sheep, let us continue to forge on with life’s many difficulties, even if many times we have to go against the flow of the world that is always selfish and misleading. Let us pray:

Dearest Jesus,
help me to give more of myself
not just of something from me;
help me to lay down my life
for my friends even if it means
not just losing myself but
losing them in order to gain You;
help me to remain in You,
my Good Shepherd,
to never go astray
because life and love
are found only in You,
the Gift and Giver.
Amen.
Have a blessed week ahead!

“Rationing” God?

The Lord Is My Chef Easter Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday in the Second Week of Easter, 11 April 2024
Acts 5:27-33     ><))))*> + <*(((((><     John 3:31-36

*Photo by author, Bolinao, Pangasinan, April 2022.*

Once again,
O Lord,
Your words 
are very amusing today:
"For the one whom God sent
speaks the words of God.
He does not ration his gift
of the Spirit" (John 3:34).

It sounds so funny
yet so true, dear Jesus!
We not only ration the
Holy Spirit but we also
ration every good gift
You give us as if it would
run out, as if You would 
stop blessing us,
as if You are not God.

Forgive us, Lord,
when we ration
especially Your love
to others, when we 
do not realize that love
and life and every blessing
You give are meant to be
given and shared fully
with others.

“We gave you strict orders did we not, to stop teaching in that name. Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and want to bring this man’s blood upon us.”
Acts 5:28

Dearest Jesus,
fill us with courage
like Your Apostles
after Pentecost that 
we too may give all
to fill the world
with Your Good News
of salvation
in You,
with You,
and through You!
Amen.

On turning 59

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 22 March 2024

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 19 March 2024.*

Salamuch to all your birthday greetings and prayers. You were all prayed for during my five day silent retreat here at the Sacred Heart Novitiate in Novaliches, my “Bethel” and “Peniel” in the last ten years.

It was in Bethel where Jacob dreamt of a stairway to heaven that upon waking up realized “the Lord is in this spot, although I did not know it” (Gen.28:16, 19) while it was in Peniel where he wrestled with an angel that he was given the other name “Israel… because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed” (Gen.32:29, 31).

*The newly reblocked tree-lined road of Sacred Heart Novitiate.*

God has been so kind to me to let me reach 59 – isang taon na lang may Senior Citizen Card na ako!

Last Sunday I had a long lunch with two of my former students in our girls’ high school in Malolos. It was a great feeling of being “reconnected” not only with Karen and Kweenie but also with myself.

God is our most important “connection” in life. To be connected, to reconnect with him is to be one, to be whole again with one’s self, with others and the rest of creation. And that is what a retreat is, a vacation with the Lord which is to reconnect with Him, to be healed and be whole again to find our other vital connections in life (https://lordmychef.com/2024/03/18/re-con-nect/). Here are some of my reflections; hope to help or guide you too to God.

*After sunset at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, 21 March 2024.*

If I say, “Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light” — Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one.
Psalm 139:11-12

Very often, we feel disconnected from God and everyone, even from one’s self when there is darkness in life due to sins and failures or disappointments as well as when we are tired and feeling sad, even depressed, for varied reasons.

But, the grace of God is actually most bountiful when we are in darkness. And the irony of it all, it is in our darkness is also our light! It is the other side of that another irony I realized a few years ago that it is in emptiness when we are actually full. Kung kailan wala, at saka mayroon!

*From the refectory of Sacred Heart Novitiate, 18 March 2024.*

In His great silence, God never stops doing something in us and with us while we are groping in the dark. Many times, the very things we complain and cry about that brought us darkness are in fact the most beautiful things we can have and must have done in this imperfect world. Feel God tapping our shoulders, even thanking us that despite the darkness we are into, we remain faithful and committed, still caring and loving those entrusted to us, especially the children and the sick as well as those who hurt us or a burden to us.

Life is always difficult but many times we ignore this reality.

Have you sometimes wondered why life has become so complicated and competitive these days that even if you are not in the “rat race” itself especially when friends and family come to unburden themselves to us, we also get affected. That is when we overextend ourselves helping them, connecting them without realizing we are the ones getting disconnected too with our very selves and the realities of life.

When things are getting dark, stop and accept the fact we are tired or sad. That it is already night time and too dark to go out, that we need to stay inside or remain where we are. Let the darkness pass to avert disasters like breakdowns, feeling exhausted and depleted that we get sick physically and emotionally. When darkness comes, rest in the Lord and enjoy the stars and the moon above.

*The Novitiate abounds with calachuchi trees that one can smell the sweet scent of its flowers especially in the evening.*

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!
Psalm 139:14, 17

Why can’t I accept that I am good, so wonderfully created by God? What a shame at how I always tell people, especially students and youth, to always believe in themselves, that our main problem in life is self-rejection which I am also guilty of.

Lately I have been questioning myself if I am really good at all: “talaga ba akong magaling at mahusay o ma-papel lang?”

*Tranquil afternoon at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, 19 March 2024.*

It is funny that as I cross into the threshold of senior years, I still have many insecurities in life, still doubting my abilities, of who I am.

One thing God has revealed me this week of prayers is how self-rejection is a result of lack of gratitude to Him. It is only when we are truly grateful to God can we accept, then own our giftedness as a person.

Many times we thank God for his “material” gifts to us that include our family and friends, jobs and career, house and cars and gadgets. Not to forget money and wealth, including fame for some. We thank God for everything except our very gift of selves. We are the most precious gift of God we always forget to thank Him for – our giftedness as a person with all of our talents and abilities.

Being grateful to God means seeing myself as God sees me His beloved child. Not the way we see ourselves before God that would always be in extremes, either we are too good like the Pharisee in Christ’s parable (Lk. 18:9-14) or too bad almost like the devil.

The more I am grateful to God, the more I cherish my personhood that despite my many flaws and sins, I am still loved by God our Father.

Gratitude is more than being thankful; it is entering into a deeper relationship with God and with anyone good to us. Ungrateful people who could not say “thank you” are the ones who do not care at all to others and their kindness. Whenever we say “thank you,” it means we not only appreciate and acknowledge their gift but most of all, their personhood inasmuch as they have recognized us in the first place.

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

This morning in our Mass, I felt so touched by God that tears swelled in my eyes twice. First when we sang in the entrance hymn “Buksan ang aming plad, sarili’y maialay; turuan Mong ihanap kami ng bagong malay.”

I think that is one thing I need this year, a new consciousness about God, of myself, and my vocation. Lately, I have been “romancing” death. It is not being morbid but simply accepting that reality becoming more real as we age. But, sometimes, I must confess, any fascination with death is defeatist in nature like when we start thinking of retiring early. I have always believed the priesthood is always seeking new directions in the ministry, in serving God and others but lately with all the darkness in me and around me, I just feel like retiring early, of just waiting for the end, whatever that may mean.

Lord Jesus Christ,
bring back that fire and 
enthusiasm in me;
give me a new 
consciousness of You,
of me, 
and of my ministry.

*The beauty and majesty of God at the Sacred Heart Novitiate.*

Tears swelled in my eyes the second time during the Offertory in our Mass as we sang Take and Receive which is actually the surrender prayer by St. Ignatius. It was the last prayer I recited before the Blessed Sacrament last night as I closed my retreat with a Holy Hour. It is my most favorite prayer but also the one I rarely pray after realizing and feeling its “existential” meaning during our 30-day retreat in 1995.

Try contemplating its meaning and you feel scared praying it, as if telling God, “not yet, Lord, not yet”: “Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou has given all to me. To thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me thy nlove and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.”

As I closed my retreat last night, I felt praying it again with the same conviction in 1995 after our 30-day retreat, in 1997 for our diaconal ordination and in 1998 for our presbyteral ordination. Once in a while I pray it too in high moments with the Lord. Like last night and this morning.

Thank you, 
dearest Father
for the gift of life,
for the gift of personhood;
Lord Jesus Christ,
You have given me with so much
and I have given You so little;
teach me to give more of myself,
more of of Your love and mercy;
take whatever I still have 
so that I can give more of You
in the Holy Spirit.
With Mary, 
teach me to be poor 
in You.
Amen.

Thank you everyone for your love, for your gift of self, for your friendship.

Lent: God “now here”, we “nowhere”?

40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Fourth Week of Lent, 11 March 2024
Isaiah 65:17-21     ><)))))*> + <*(((((><     John 4:43-54

God our Father,
you are so amazing!
You never fail to surprise us,
never runs out of mysteries
that convey deep truths so
difficult to dissect and understand
but just enough to be experienced
and savored to be delighted
again and again
when remembered
and realized
like when you said
through the Prophet Isaiah:

Thus says the Lord: Lo, I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the things of the past shall not be remembered or come to mind. Instead, there shall always be rejoicing and happiness in what I create; for I create Jerusalem to be a joy and its people to be delight.
Isaiah 65:17-18

Later, John the Beloved
in his Book of Revelation linked
this idea of new heaven and new earth
with the new Jerusalem (Rev. 21:1-2)
with both passages speaking of a world
free of pain and sickness,
no weeping nor wailing
with no kids dying before
their time and no one living
below 100 years old.
Wonderful!

Of course, your words are
symbolic though we are sure
it would literally happen some day;
but what we are sure now is how
your words have paved the way
for the coming of Jesus Christ
who bridged the gaps
among us;
in Jesus Christ,
the reality of physics
is experienced daily like
in that remote healing of
a royal official's son in
Capernaum.

Our loving Father,
we do not expect to live
lives without pain,
sickness,
or tragedy
even though we wish
that so often;
grant us the grace
to remain committed
to Jesus and his Way of the
Cross to experience the peace
only he can give for he is always
NOW HERE, present in us
and among us
when so often
we are NOWHERE
by his side.

Let us remain in you,
O Lord,
let us stay with you,
in you, 
even if nothing seems to happen 
because 
that is when 
our faith and trust 
in you are deepened
like with that royal official.
Amen.

Shamefaced in Lent

40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Second Week of Lent, 26 February 2024
Daniel 9:4-10     <*((((>< + + + ><))))*>     Luke 6:36-38

Thank you, Lord,
"great and awesome God"
(Daniel 9:4) for another month
about to end as we entered 
the second week in Lent;
by this time,
let us feel more your mercy
and forgiveness,
your immense love
despite our repeated sins
that have actually
habitual to many of us.

Like Daniel your prophet,
make us "shamefaced"
before you instead of being
shameless.

Justice, O Lord, is on your side; we are shamefaced even to this day: we, the men of Judah, the residents of Jerusalem, and all Israel, near and far, in all the countries to which you have scattered them because of their treachery toward you. O Lord, we are shamefaced, like our kings, our princes, and our fathers, for having sinned against you.
Daniel 9:7-8

Before we can be
merciful as you are 
merciful dear Father
according to Jesus Christ,
let us be shamefaced first
of all for our sinfulness;
many of us have lost that
sense of sinfulness,
becoming shameless
and so thick-faced
that saying it in Tagalog
is best, "makapal
ang mukha".

This Lent,
teach us to be
ashamed of our sins
and iniquities;
teach us to let go 
of our many excuses
and alibis that only
make our face grow
thicker like the soles
of our feet; make us
realize the more shame 
we put on our selves 
when we feel so
self-righteous
that we have no room
to be kind and understanding,
even caring and 
forgiving of others.

This Lent,
let us start
being shamefaced,
of having a healthy 
mistrust of our selves
so that we begin to trust you more,
O Lord, and become like you,
loving and merciful,
and eventually a vessel
of your blessings for others.
Amen.

Lent is seeing God in others

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the First Week of Lent, 19 February 2024
Leviticus 19:1-2, 11-18 ><))))*> + + + <*((((>< Matthew 25:31-46

*Photo by Mr. Jay Javier in Quiapo, Manila, 09 January 2024.*

Today I pray dear God
to your directive since the
Old Testament until the coming
of your Son Jesus Christ:
"Be holy , for I, the Lord your God,
am holy" (Leviticus 19:2).

But, what is really to be holy,
what is to be like you,
God?

Perfect.
Loving.
Kind.
Good.
Merciful.
Forgiving.
Caring.
Understanding.
Warm.
Open.

There are so many other
traits and characteristics I can think
of you as being holy,
O God,
that we have to imitate
to be like
you
that makes holiness
 so difficult,
elusive,
and impossible!

Who can really be like you
when we are so different from you?
But, thank you in sending us
Jesus who not only made it
possible for us to be holy
like you, God,
but also made it
simpler:

“Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me… Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least one, you did not do for me.”
Matthew 25:40, 45

On this blessed season
of Lent,
teach us to fast 
and be empty of ourselves,
of our pride,
and of our sins
so we may be filled with YOU;
holiness is first of all 
being filled
with you, O God,
that we feel,
we see,
we think
of others like you,
that is, of seeing you
in each one of us.

When we begin to
realize and experience 
that you fill us, O God,
then we learn to be
generous in sharing
more of ourselves, 
of our time,
of our talent,
of our treasure,
and most of all,
of you dear God
dwelling in us
with others;
we can only be holy
not when we try being
like you but more of finding
you first in us
in order to find you
in others too!

Then, 
maybe we stop
fighting,
committing every sin
against each other
if only we can see you
dwelling,
filling 
each one of us.
Amen.