How to fail in marriage

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 01 July 2024

Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.

We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.

There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

*Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.*

My dearest Gracie and Chino:

Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.

Disregard God.

Stop believing in God.

Live as if there is no God.

Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.

Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.

Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”

Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.

In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.

Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.

*Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.*

Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.

Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.

Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.

There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!

You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.

When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.

With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.

Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.

Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.

Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.

With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.

Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.

You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.

My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.

How to fail in marriage

Gift of encouragement

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of St. Irenaeus, Bishop & Martyr, 28 June 2024
2 Kings 25:1-12 <'[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Matthew 8:1-4

It is the end of another week 
of work and studies for most of us,
God our loving Father,
but for some,
it is like the end of everything
for them like your people
at Judah and Jerusalem:

In the tenth month of the ninth year of Zedekiah’s reign, on the tenth day of the month, Nebuchadnezzar, king od Babylon, and his whole army advanced against Jerusalem, encamped around it and built siege walls on every side. On the ninth day of the fourth month, when famine had gripped the city, and the people had no more bread, the city walls were breached. The king was therefore arrested and brought to Riblah to the king of Babylon, who pronounced sentence on him. He had Zedekiah’;s sons slain before his eyes. He then blinded Zedekiah, bound him with fetters, and had him brought to Babylon (2 Kings 25:1, 3, 6-7).

Many times,
when life becomes so difficult
even so terrible for us,
all we ask, O God, are
simple words and acts of
encouragement;
send us someone who 
is like Jesus your Son, 
our Lord and Savior who, 
upon meeting a leper,
told him,
"I will do it. Be made clean"
(Matthew 8:3).

Like Jesus,
may we stay and remain
even for a few minutes
with those so burdened in life;
when the leper approached him,
Jesus did not hide nor run
but stayed to let the leper
feel He was with him;
many times, we forget
our mere presence 
can be so encouraging;
forgive us for abandoning
and turning away from those
who come to us
even for company
and warmth.

Like Jesus,
even if we do not have
the power to heal
and cleanse anyone of sickness,
grant us the gift of
words that encourage
others to hold on in faith,
to keep hoping,
and most of all,
to believe in love
when all is dark
because like Jesus,
we may tell them how much
we desire their well-being.
Amen.

Expect the unexpected

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Solemnity of the Birth of John the Baptist, 24 June 2024
Isaiah 49:1-6 ><}}}}*> Acts 13:22-26 ><}}}}*> Luke 1:57-66.80

*Photo from Wikipedia, mosaic of Jesus with Mary and John the Baptist at the Hagia Sophia in Turkey.*

Praise and glory to You,
God our loving Father
in sending us John the Baptist
as Precursor of your Son
Jesus Christ our Savior;
on this Solemnity of his birth
six months before Christmas
during the summer solstice to
remind us of John's vocation,
"a burning and shining lamp"
(John 5:35) set to decrease 
when the Light that illuminates
the world appeared in December,
the winter solstice.

Everything about John pointed 
to the unexpected - his conception
in the womb of his old, barren mother
Elizabeth, his being named not after
his father Zechariah, and his life being
spent in the wilderness, not in the
temple to follow the footsteps of
his father; most of all, his "manifestation
to Israel"  (Lk.1:80) was not about himself 
but pointed to the Christ, Jesus our Lord
and Savior.

What is not unexpected, dear Father,
is the connection between John and
Jesus and the salvific events that have
everyone filled with joy and fear at the
same time for "surely your hand hand
was with him" (Lk.1:66).

*Photo by author, Binuangan Is., Meycauayan, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.*

Open our eyes and our hearts, 
merciful Father, to always expect 
the unexpected in this life and mission,
to learn to withdraw in the wilderness 
of our lives like John 
to realize that our whole being 
like his is directed to our relationship
with Jesus the Christ.

Let us decrease
so that Jesus may increase!
Let us strive to go to the wilderness
to empty ourselves to be filled
by the Holy Spirit;
most of all,
let your words comfort us
when life becomes so difficult
in being a herald of Jesus by proclaiming
repentance and conversion (Acts 13:24):

“You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God” (Isaiah 49:3,4).

How wonderful
that when I learn to expect
the unexpected from You,
O God,
that is when I am less,
Jesus becomes more in me,
then truly,
You are most gracious,
 Father through me,
like John.
Amen.

*Photo by author, birthplace of St. John the Baptist beneath the church in his honor in Ein Karem, Israel, May 2019*

Into the sea of life & love

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Twelfth Sunday in the Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 23 June 2024
Job 38:1, 8-11 ><}}}}*> 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 ><}}}}*> Mark 4:35-41

*Photo by author, San Juan, La Union, 25 July 2023.*

From examples of trees in the forest and sowing of seeds in the fields last week, our readings this Sunday situate us at the middle of the sea with a raging storm to remind us of God’s immense power and most of all, love and care for us in Jesus Christ. Right away we get that hint from our short first reading:

The Lord addressed Job out of the storm and said: Who shut within doors the sea, when it burst forth from the womb; when I made the clouds its garments and thick darkness its swaddling hands? When I set limits for it and fastened the bar of its door, and said: Thus far shall you come but no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stilled!” (Job 38:1, 8-11).

Nothing so struck humans since time immemorial as the sea that is so immense, seemingly without limits. It has been so loved yet dreaded with many literatures around the world teeming with all kinds of stories about the sea’s many mysteries that still baffle us in this age of computers and satellites. Experts say that big ships and jumbo jets are so minuscule compared with any area of the sea where they could still get lost like the missing Malaysian Airlines not too long ago.

That is the imagery of the sea, similar with life itself that is lovely to behold yet frightening with many mysteries and dangers. Life like the sea must be crossed and lived out to experience its boundless beauty, joys, and gifts waiting to be discovered by those willing to have faith in Jesus who assures us today that He had come to accompany us in crossing this great sea of life with His love and power.

A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Quiet! Be still!” The wind ceased and there was great calm (Mk.4:37-39).

*Photo by author, Anvaya Cove in Morong, Bataan, 15 April 2024.*

“Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”

Most likely we have also asked God the same question especially when everything seems to be so wrong in our lives with God seemed to be so far from us, not caring at all. That was the situation of the fictional character Job we have in the first reading. Towards the end of the book, God assured Job that as the Creator of this universe, He is in control of everything in this life. This became more real in the coming of Jesus, the Son of God, our Emmanuel or “God-is-with-us” that Mark showed in his story of Christ’s calming of the sea.

See Mark’s details as so weird and exaggerated to show us that even in the worst scenarios in life, God is present in Jesus Christ. Remember that Mark wrote his gospel account to inspire and strengthen the faith of early Christians persecuted and felt exactly like the disciples in the boat caught in a violent squall with nowhere to go except to Jesus soundly asleep in the stern on a cushion.

Both the incident at the sea and the persecution of early Christians must be so terrifying, reminding us of the times we felt the same way too in many instances in our lives like when the whole world stood still during the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

*Photo by author, Lake of Galilee, the Holy Land, May 2017.*

This was the same gospel scene Pope Francis used in his reflections at the special Urbi et Orbi benediction in March 2020 at the start of COVID-19. That surreal scene of an empty St. Peter Square with the Pope alone limping his way to the altar was so much like this scene in the gospel. How sad that four years after crossing modern history’s stormiest sea, many have forgotten while others refuse to recognize that it was Jesus who pacified the virus that caused the pandemic.

Jesus reminds us today that He is always in the boat, silently sailing with us in this stormy sea of life. Do not expect Him to be like most stage mothers or protective parents who keep on interfering in the lives of their children especially when there are difficulties.

During a vacation in Canada more than a decade ago, I noticed the big difference between Filipino and Canadian parents when relatives brought me to experience “apple picking”. While waiting at the entrance, I observed how Canadian parents simply looked at their children playing, never intervening except when kids were hurt and started to cry. So amazing at how the parents would just smile and carry their children to comfort them, so unlike Filipino parents who acted like Secret Service agents watching, reprimanding every move of their children. Worst was when children got hurt and cried as parents scolded them! – which continues even after their children have all grown up with families of their own. Maybe we never progressed as a nation because so many of us have never really matured as individuals partly due to our “stage parents”.

*Photo by author, Lake of Galilee, May 2019.*

Going back to the boat caught in a violent squall in the middle of the Lake of Galillee, see the dramatic contrast of Jesus soundly asleep in the stern while His disciples were deep in anguish and fears. Like those Canadian parents I have observed, Jesus prefers to be silent during storms in life than to interfere so that we would grow and mature in our faith and prayers, becoming stronger inside and out.

Instead of frantically shouting and scrambling on what to do like the disciples in the boat when trials come our way, let us go inside to Jesus in the stern, no need to wake Him up nor speak. Simply stay, be still and be one with Him in prayers, trusting Him more than anyone.

That’s how we are transformed into better persons by letting Jesus live inside our hearts, the stern of our boat.

To let Jesus live in our hearts is to live in love of Christ despite the many storms and darkness we encounter like St. Paul who implored us in the second reading, “Brothers and sisters: The love of Christ impels us, once we have come to the conviction that one died for all; therefore, all have died (2Cor.5;14).

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD in Infanta, Quezon, 2023.*

St. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians is his most personal letter where he poured his heart out in response to the nasty talks hurled against him. Throughout this letter, we find St. Paul narrating all the trials and sufferings he endured in following Jesus that led him to experience Christ’s love in the most personal way that gave him the conviction to live in Christ, to love Christ. Hence, his call every Paulinian knows by heart, Caritas Christi urget nos.

Last Sunday, Mark portrayed God’s presence in Jesus Christ among us like the seed sown in the field that grows without us knowing how, always present among us. Today, Mark portrayed Jesus present among us in exaggerated manner like sleeping in the stern while the boat filled with many leaks crosses this sea of life in a violent storm. How interesting that in crossing the sea – on the Cross itself – Jesus reconciled us with God, with others and with our very selves so that we may pass over and cross to the other side of life and love in Christ. Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ,
cast away our fears 
in this sea of life we cross
filled with darkness and storms;
many times, our boat is filled with
many leaks of our sins
but You chose to stay with us,
sleeping soundly in the stern;
teach us to be silent,
to trust You more
when the going gets rough
and tough like during an exam:
You are our Teacher,
You know all the answers,
You are silent because 
You want us to learn,
You want us to pass.
Amen.

Two gifts to pray for always

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of St. Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious, 21 June 2024
2 Kings 11:1-4, 9-18, 20 ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[>< Matthew 6:19-23

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

On this Friday,
Lord Jesus Christ,
there are two things I pray:
give me a pure heart 
and eyes like a lamp.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be (Mt. 6:19-21).”

Help me realize, Jesus,
that to "store up treasures 
in heaven" is not just to pile up
a lot of good works in heaven
that will be to our credit in the 
next life for they too can be lost
when we slide down into sin and evil;
rather, like in your beatitudes,
give me a clean or pure heart
that is like yours, that is inclined
to You always; a clean heart, O Lord,
is not of "doing" but of "being" and
"becoming" that truly becomes a 
treasure, something we value most.

How sad in this world so materialistic
that many believe there is 
nothing money cannot buy, 
nothing money cannot solve
even though this belief is proven
false all the time!

Cleanse our hearts of
pride and sins,
fill it with your humility,
justice and love, Lord Jesus!
Dwell in our hearts,
reign over us!

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be” (Mt.6:22-23).

Give us that light
and vision, Jesus
to see the most essential,
the most valuable in life
that are beyond
wealth, fame, and power;
free us from the darkness
and blindness
of not seeing beyond material things
so we may discern
the real treasures,
what is most valuable
in this life
like You and others,
love and peace
and joy.
Amen.

Going the extra mile…

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Eleventh Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 17 June 2024
1 Kings 21:1-16 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 5:38-42

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD in Infanta, Quezon, April 2020.*

Your words today, O God
are so agitating,
"nakaka-init po ng ulo":
it is an old story we have 
all memorized but every time
we hear it, we are so moved
in anger because it continues
to happen in our own time,
especially the truth 
that we never run out of scoundrels, 
of corrupt and evil people
willing to sell their souls,
to lie and malign others,
even kill for money and
wealth.

This is what Jezebel wrote in the letters: “Proclaim a fast and set Naboth at the head of the people. Next, get two scoundrels to face him and accuse him of having cursed God and king. Then take himmout and stone him to death.” His fellow citizens – the elders and the nobles who dwelt in his city – dis as Jezebel had ordered them in writing, through the letters she had sent them… On hearing that Naboth was dead, Ahab started off on his way down to the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite, to take possession of it.
1 Kings 21:9-11, 16

Forgive us, merciful Father
in conniving with the modern
Jezebels and scoundrels
with our nasty talks and comments
against others especially
in social media;
we may not be committing sin
at the same scale as that of
Jezebel and her cohorts but
still, we continue this cycle of
evil and violence in what we
consider at small talks that are
true after all...
Oh God, forgive us in taking
away the honor and dignity
of so many people with our careless
comments and even likes in social media
posts.

Teach us in Jesus Christ
your Son, Father,
to go the extra mile in fighting
this vicious circle of evil; 
give us the courage in Jesus 
to turn the other cheek
by firmly standing on our ground
at His Cross in resisting  
violence and revenge,
in showing others that
love always prevails,
the love is the most potent
force in the universe not
greed nor hatred,
that only love conquers all.
Amen.

“Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree.”

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 16 June 2024
Ezekiel 17:22-24 ><}}}}*> 2 Corinthians 5:6-10 ><}}}}*> Mark 4:26-34

*Photo by author, Camp John Hay, Baguio City, 12 July 2023.*

While preparing this homily, I cannot resist thinking of this poem by Joyce Kilmer because of its similarities with the first reading from the Book of Ezekiel and partly with the parables of Jesus in the gospel.

Kilmer tells us in his poem that trees are God’s presence among us, a sign of His own majesty, a reminder of life’s mysteries, something many of us seem to have learned only recently after the scorching heat of last summer when everyone was posting on Facebook the need to plant trees!

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD, April 2020 in Infanta, Quezon.*

In the first reading, the Prophet Ezekiel picturesquely imagined how God would plant a great Lebanon cedar on a mountain as a sign of His divine intervention for our salvation that was eventually fulfilled in Jesus Christ’s coming.

Ezekiel lived during the Babylonian exile, the lowest point in life of Israelites when they did not have a country, nor a temple, not even a future. They felt abandoned, punished by God due to their sins; hence, Ezekiel was sent to give them hope. Through this beautiful allegory of the future Israel, Ezekiel tells his countrymen including us today how God would eventually intervene in a very personal manner to fulfill His promise of salvation.

Thus says the Lord God: I, too, will take from the crest of the cedar, from its topmost branches tear off a tender shoot, and plant it on a high and lofty mountain. It shall put forth branches and bear fruit, and become a majestic cedar. Birds of every kind shall dwell beneath it, every winged thing in the shade of its boughs. And all the trees of the field shall know that I, the Lord, bring low the high tree, lift high the lowly tree, wither up the green tree, and make the withered tree bloom. As I, the Lord, have spoken, so will I do.
Ezekiel 17:22-24

That beautiful imagery of the cedar tree planted in Israel reminds us that in whatever state of life we may be – whether we are like a tall or a lowly tree, a green or withered tree – it is always God who has the final say in life because He is the very reason for our existence.

Jesus declared to us in one of the Sundays of Easter, “I am the true vine and you are the branches…without me you cannot do anything” to show that more than a giver of life, He is life Himself because He is the tree planted firmly by God in our midst.

Incidentally, the word “tree” which is treowe in Old English is the root of the word true which connotes something firmly rooted, steadfast and faithful. From the same word treowe came trust because the roots of a tree signify relationships or interconnectedness. That is why the Anglo-Saxons have always traced their ancestors and family by using the diagram of a tree from which came our concept of “family tree” today.

How lovely to imagine that tree planted by God in our midst is Jesus Christ, “the Way, the Truth and the Life”, the One we must trust always!

Hence, Mark invites us today to listen more attentively to the Lord’s teachings, asking us to not just sit beside or around Him but try to “get inside” Him by taking into our hearts His words like Mary His Mother as we have reflected last Sunday.

Again, Mark surprises us in his story of Jesus teaching the people about seeds and plants, and ordinary activities like sowing we take for granted but so rich in meanings. That is what a parable is – a simple story with deep meanings about life.

Our life itself is a parable wherein we find the most profound realizations in the most ordinary things and events in our lives. And that is where Jesus Christ comes too often. He is in fact the kingdom of God He spoke so often in His teachings and parables.

Jesus said to the crowds: “This is how it is with the kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and through it all the seed would sprout and grow he knows not how (Mk.4:26-27).”
Mark 4:26-27

This parable of the seed growing by itself tells us of that reality of God living among us, right with us in Jesus Christ. The seed is His word germinating in us if we cultivate it daily in prayer and good works. Just like the fecundity of the tiny seed planted in the field, God grows in us beyond all our hopes and expectations because He is never absent nor distant from us.

*Photo by Ms. April Oliveros on Mt. Pulag, 2023.*

Look back in your life this past week or past month, examine how many times you were blessed, of how you were pulled out and saved from a dire situation in the nick of time. Surely you can offer a lot of rational explanations but, when you come to think of it, there’s always an “Invisible Hand” saving you, guiding you.

That’s the point of the parable of the seed planted without the farmer knowing how it grows: God works best in our lives in silence.

This is the reason why St. Paul tells us to “walk in faith, not by sight” (2Cor.5:7): our life is a journey of faith wherein we cannot see everything clearly, cannot appreciate right away the extent of how God works His miracles in us daily.

Yesterday we celebrated the 40th day of my mom’s passing then tomorrow, June 17, is her 85th birthday which is also the 24th death of my dad. I told my sisters and brother that maybe that is the reason why dad died on mom’s birthday 24 years ago: so that it would not be difficult for us to visit their graves on June 17. Isang lakad at punta na lang para matipid!

But kidding aside, though it is so difficult and painful to be ulilang lubos (orphaned), I still feel so positive more than a month after my mother’s death because in those 24 years when my father died, God never abandoned us. With mom’s passing, I’m sure God will never forsake us too.

When I look back at how many times God has blessed us in the past, I also see that soon in the future, if we remain faithful to Him, Christ shall unfold in us and around us in ways we never imagined.

*Photo by Ms. Analyn Dela Torre, March 2024.*

Time flies so fast indeed these days; we are almost done with the first half of the year. In a short while we shall be hearing Jose Mari Chan singing again “Christmas In Our Hearts” as the Christmas countdown begins even before September first.

And that’s what I have noticed these past 20 years: with all the comforts in life, we have become impatient that we rush everything, even Christmas and holidays. We live in a world of instants that we cannot wait anymore like the farmer in the parable of Jesus. Or the Prophet Ezekiel imagining God coming soon.

We don’t have to discard the modern amenities we have in life today for most of these are gifts from God Himself. However, we must remember these are not everything, that many times in life despite all our careful planning, things still do not turn out as we expect.

There is only one thing we can be sure of, Jesus Christ silently in our midst. Look at any tree around you, the many years it had weathered all kinds of storm and heat. Still standing, still green, reminding us of Jesus. Let us pray:

God our Father,
teach us to be patient
like the farmer who sows seeds
to his field, not knowing at all
how these germinate and grow;
teach us to be faithful to You
in Christ Jesus, always open
to find Him and embrace Him
in the ordinary things in life;
teach us to have more of You,
God in Jesus through prayers
and Sacraments,
to have more faith than gadgets,
more hope than instant gratifications
and more love than social media.
Amen.

Marriage is a prayer

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 11 June 2024

*From stillromancatholicafteralltheseyears.com*, *January 2022.*

What is very sad in this ongoing debate against divorce in our country is how some people claiming to be graduates and professors of Catholic institutions insist on their many “intellectual reasonings” why divorce should be allowed while at the same time declaring it is wrong to profess we are against divorce simply because we are Catholics.

What a tragedy when those educated or teaching in Catholic schools and universities who are supposed to know more and better about Jesus Christ and His teachings are the ones favoring divorce. They cite so many studies and authors even theologians to support their stand in favor of divorce without ever mentioning Christ’s teachings found in the Sacred Scriptures that were explained by the Church in our Catechism as well as in so many other documents by the Popes and bishops.

We understand how journalists could err regarding names and other details that essentially do not effect the veracity of their news like the recent sakalan blues in Gagalangin, Tondo when the interview of a priest was ascribed to another; but, to be one sided in the presentation of a story is something else like Rappler’s “The Problem with I am Catholic, I say no to divorce”. There’s a reliable maxim in journalism that says “Opinions are free but facts are sacred.”

*Photo by Joseph Kettaneh on Pexels.com*

The main fact we have been holding on the sanctity and indissolubility of marriage for over 2000 years is our Lord Jesus Christ’s teaching against divorce that the pro-divorce everywhere have refused to accept.

Yes, we need to listen to different views about divorce but not to those views condemned by the Church because they are wrong.

Divorce cannot be isolated as merely a political issue to be resolved because marriage as a natural sacrament is spiritual in nature, a path to holiness.

Marriage is a gift and a call from God for men and women to live and work together in order to attain eternal life. This we achieve firstly by having a prayer life, a relationship with God expressed in our love for one another especially between husband and wife.

In arguing against divorce, we need to look for those couples who have made it through thick and thin in their marriage in order to inspire others in following the path of Holy Matrimony.

*Joyce and Tony in 2019 with son Atty. JA and wife Kathleen with their two sons, and daughter Rosella.*

As a contribution in our fight against divorce, I share with you my homily at the 40th wedding anniversary of my cousin Joyce Pollard to Tony Lopez in October 2019 which I titled as “Married life is a prayer”.

Oh what a joy to officiate weddings especially of relatives and friends!

Hope you find some lessons and inspirations on the beauty of marriage we have to keep.

As I prepared my homily for your anniversary, Joyce and Tony… “the moment I woke up and before your Mommy Fely put on her make-up, I said a little prayer for you.”

Of course that is not the theme song of Joyce and Tony. They haven’t met yet in 1967 when Dione Warwick recorded I Say a Little Prayer. But they were already married when it became one of the tracks in the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding” starring Julia Roberts.

And since this is my “best cousin’s wedding anniversary” in this part of the city, I have thought of reflecting on married life as a prayer.

In our gospel we have heard Jesus Christ narrating the parable of the unjust judge and persistent widow to underscore “the necessity to pray always without becoming weary” (Lk. 18:1).

Prayer is an expression of faith.

When there is faith, there is also love.

And when there is prayer, faith, and love, what we have is a relationship, a community of believers who love each other.

People who love and believe with each other always talk and communicate. They make time to be with one another. And most often, that is what really matters with people who love and believe – simply to be together.

Even in silence.

Like prayer.

Prayer is more than asking things from God but most of all, prayer is a relationship with God expressed with others. That is the beauty of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony: husband and wife are bound together in marriage to become signs of the saving presence of Jesus Christ.

Marriage as a sacrament means it is a prayer as well, a relationship of a man and woman with God as its source and foundation.

I am sure, Joyce and Tony along with all the other married couples here today will agree that married life requires a lot of prayers. In fact, married life is a prayer, a very difficult one that is much needed.

Like in that movie My Best Friend’s Wedding, there are real forces of evil that are trying to destroy couples. So many couples have already fallen, going their separate lives after several years of being together while on the other hand, more and more couples are refusing to get married at all due to this reality of breakups and separations.

And that is why we are celebrating today Joyce and Tony’s 40th wedding anniversary! We are praying with them in expressing our faith and love for them in Christ Jesus. Prayers have kept them together, transforming them into better persons.

At the end of the parable of the persistent widow and unjust judge, Jesus posed a very crucial question for us, especially to every married couple here today: When the Son of Man comes again at the end of time, will he find faith on earth? (Lk.18:8)

And what shall be our response?

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony!”

Like Moses in the first reading, they both prayed hard with arms outstretched on many occasions as they battled life’s many challenges and struggles.

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony” because they have both proclaimed your word with persistence, whether it is convenient or inconvenient like St. Paul in his second letter to Timothy. They have weathered so many storms in the past 40 years and your words, O Lord, have kept them together, sharing these with their children and with everyone in their life of fidelity and love.

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony” now before your altar to renew their vows to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives!

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again” among the many couples gathered here who have remained faithful to each other despite their many sins and failures, weaknesses and shortcomings.

Joyce and Tony, you are not only a prayer of faith but also a homily of the Holy Matrimony, showing us the light and power of Jesus Christ to transform people in prayer and bring them to fulfillment.

Prayer does not change things like typhoons and earthquakes. We cannot ask God in prayer to spare us from getting sick or be exempted from life’s many trials and sufferings. Prayer cannot stop those from happening.

What prayer does is change us, change our attitude so we may hurdle life’s many blows and obstacles. Especially with couples who always find God in their lives, in good times and in bad.

Prayers transform us into better persons as children of God, especially couples who eventually look like brothers and sisters after living together in faith, hope and love.

Tony and Joyce, I am sure everyone in our family and among your friends here can attest to the many good things that have transformed you in the past 40 years.

You have changed to become the best for each other.

In the bible, the number 40 means perfect.

May God continue to perfect you, Tony and Joyce.

Keep us too in your prayers as we pray for you. Amen.
https://lordmychef.com/2019/10/23/married-life-is-a-prayer/

*Joyce and Tony in 1979…may forever basta may prayer!*

We are all St. Barnabas!

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Memorial of St. Barnabas, Apostle, 11 June 2024
Acts 11:21-26, 13:1-3 ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[>< Matthew 10:7-13

*Photo by author, Mt. St. Paul, La Trinidad, Benguet, 2016.*

Praise and glory
to You, God our loving Father
for this memorial of St. Barnabas,
one of the first to embrace Christianity
after the Resurrection of your Son
Jesus Christ.

A Levite Jew born in Cyprus,
his original name was Joseph but
upon joining the Apostles in Jerusalem,
he was nicknamed Barnabas 
which means "son of encouragement"
or "son of consolation" whom  
St. Luke described as "a good man,
filled with the Holy Spirit and faith"
(Acts 11:24).

Fill us, dear Jesus 
with the same goodness and faith
of St. Barnabas, truly children of 
encouragement and consolation,
believing in our brothers and
sisters especially those have withdrawn
from the ministry and apostolate 
for various reasons 
including shame and embarrassment 
for past mistakes and sins like St. Paul.

Then he (Barnabas) went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he had found him he brought him to Antioch. For a whole year they met with the church and taught a large number of people, and it was in Antioch that the disciples were first called Christians.

Fill us with your gift
of peace, Lord Jesus,
to imitate St. Barnabas
who vouched for St. Paul's sincerity
of conversion
as well as in encouraging
and consoling the early Christians
who were persecuted for their
faith in You.

Help us imitate St. Barnabas
in his beautiful disposition of
focusing more on You, Jesus
than in the problems and personalities
we encounter in fulfilling your mission;
most of all,
grant us the humility of St. Barnabas
to reconcile later with St. Paul
 after a serious disagreement
that led to their parting of ways
as companions in their mission.

Make us realize,
Jesus,
that saints like St. Barnabas
do not fall from Heaven
but are people like us who have many
and complicated problems in life;
let us arise from our sins
and mistakes like St. Barnabas
who showed in his life that holiness
is not being sinless but being humble
to admit one's sins and faults,
going through conversion daily
with a willingness to forgive others
to be reconciled anew
in You, Jesus.
Amen.

St. Barnabas,
Pray for us!