Category: abundance in God

How to fail in marriage

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 01 July 2024
Image from http://www.oodegr.com.

Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.

We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.

There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.

My dearest Gracie and Chino:

Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.

Disregard God.

Stop believing in God.

Live as if there is no God.

Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.

Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.

Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”

Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.

In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.

Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.

Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.

Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.

There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!

You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.

With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.

Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.

Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.

Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.

With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.

Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.

You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.

My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.

How to fail in marriage

Our 3000 year-old problem

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Thirteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 01 July 2024
Amos 2:6-10, 13-16     <*((((><<  + >><))))*>     Matthew 8:18-22
Photo by author, Anvaya Cove, 15 April 2024.
Glory and praise to You,
God our loving Father for this
brand new month of July;
we have passed the first half of
2024, help us to make good of its
remaining six months, most especially 
in finding ways to address and mitigate
if not eradicate the social injustices
that continue to happen among us
since 3000 years ago your Prophet Amos
had denounced.

Thus says the Lord: For three crimes of Israel, and for four, I will not revoke my word; because they sell the just man for silver, and the poor man for a pair of sandals. They trample the heads of the weak into the dust of the earth, and force the lowly out of the way. Son and father go to the same prostitute, profaning my holy name (Amos 2:6-7).

What a shame, O God,
how this passage written
in 750 BC remains still the same
these days; give us the sincerity
to confront our selves,
to look into our own lives
to see how these accusations
can be thrown against us too;
let us realize there can be no
real love of God nor even true religion
without the practice of justice
and loving concern for the
weak and marginalized.
Give us the will
to have Jesus our priority in life
in order to build a more humane
and just society in this imperfect world,
instead of relying on our abilities
and expertise as well as comfort 
and ease; both Amos and Jesus
have showed that doing the work
of God is always other-centered, 
entails a lot of sacrifices and 
suffering so that we decrease
and lose our very selves for
God through others.
Amen.


Gift of encouragement

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of St. Irenaeus, Bishop & Martyr, 28 June 2024
2 Kings 25:1-12     <'[[[[><  +  ><]]]]'>     Matthew 8:1-4
It is the end of another week 
of work and studies for most of us,
God our loving Father,
but for some,
it is like the end of everything
for them like your people
at Judah and Jerusalem:

In the tenth month of the ninth year of Zedekiah’s reign, on the tenth day of the month, Nebuchadnezzar, king od Babylon, and his whole army advanced against Jerusalem, encamped around it and built siege walls on every side. On the ninth day of the fourth month, when famine had gripped the city, and the people had no more bread, the city walls were breached. The king was therefore arrested and brought to Riblah to the king of Babylon, who pronounced sentence on him. He had Zedekiah’;s sons slain before his eyes. He then blinded Zedekiah, bound him with fetters, and had him brought to Babylon (2 Kings 25:1, 3, 6-7).

Many times,
when life becomes so difficult
even so terrible for us,
all we ask, O God, are
simple words and acts of
encouragement;
send us someone who 
is like Jesus your Son, 
our Lord and Savior who, 
upon meeting a leper,
told him,
"I will do it. Be made clean"
(Matthew 8:3).
Like Jesus,
may we stay and remain
even for a few minutes
with those so burdened in life;
when the leper approached him,
Jesus did not hide nor run
but stayed to let the leper
feel He was with him;
many times, we forget
our mere presence 
can be so encouraging;
forgive us for abandoning
and turning away from those
who come to us
even for company
and warmth.
Like Jesus,
even if we do not have
the power to heal
and cleanse anyone of sickness,
grant us the gift of
words that encourage
others to hold on in faith,
to keep hoping,
and most of all,
to believe in love
when all is dark
because like Jesus,
we may tell them how much
we desire their well-being.
Amen.

Expect the unexpected

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Solemnity of the Birth of John the Baptist, 24 June 2024
Isaiah 49:1-6 ><}}}}*> Acts 13:22-26 ><}}}}*> Luke 1:57-66.80
Photo from Wikipedia, mosaic of Jesus with Mary and John the Baptist at the Hagia Sophia in Turkey.
Praise and glory to You,
God our loving Father
in sending us John the Baptist
as Precursor of your Son
Jesus Christ our Savior;
on this Solemnity of his birth
six months before Christmas
during the summer solstice to
remind us of John's vocation,
"a burning and shining lamp"
(John 5:35) set to decrease 
when the Light that illuminates
the world appeared in December,
the winter solstice.
Everything about John pointed 
to the unexpected - his conception
in the womb of his old, barren mother
Elizabeth, his being named not after
his father Zechariah, and his life being
spent in the wilderness, not in the
temple to follow the footsteps of
his father; most of all, his "manifestation
to Israel"  (Lk.1:80) was not about himself 
but pointed to the Christ, Jesus our Lord
and Savior.
What is not unexpected, dear Father,
is the connection between John and
Jesus and the salvific events that have
everyone filled with joy and fear at the
same time for "surely your hand hand
was with him" (Lk.1:66).
Photo by author, Binuangan Is., Meycauayan, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.
Open our eyes and our hearts, 
merciful Father, to always expect 
the unexpected in this life and mission,
to learn to withdraw in the wilderness 
of our lives like John 
to realize that our whole being 
like his is directed to our relationship
with Jesus the Christ.
Let us decrease
so that Jesus may increase!
Let us strive to go to the wilderness
to empty ourselves to be filled
by the Holy Spirit;
most of all,
let your words comfort us
when life becomes so difficult
in being a herald of Jesus by proclaiming
repentance and conversion (Acts 13:24):

“You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God” (Isaiah 49:3,4).

How wonderful
that when I learn to expect
the unexpected from You,
O God,
that is when I am less,
Jesus becomes more in me,
then truly,
You are most gracious,
 Father through me,
like John.
Amen.
Photo by author, birthplace of St. John the Baptist beneath the church in his honor in Ein Karem, Israel, May 2019

Two gifts to pray for always

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Memorial of St. Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious, 21 June 2024
2 Kings 11:1-4, 9-18, 20     ><]]]]'>  +  <'[[[[><     Matthew 6:19-23
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
On this Friday,
Lord Jesus Christ,
there are two things I pray:
give me a pure heart 
and eyes like a lamp.

Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be (Mt. 6:19-21).”

Help me realize, Jesus,
that to "store up treasures 
in heaven" is not just to pile up
a lot of good works in heaven
that will be to our credit in the 
next life for they too can be lost
when we slide down into sin and evil;
rather, like in your beatitudes,
give me a clean or pure heart
that is like yours, that is inclined
to You always; a clean heart, O Lord,
is not of "doing" but of "being" and
"becoming" that truly becomes a 
treasure, something we value most.

How sad in this world so materialistic
that many believe there is 
nothing money cannot buy, 
nothing money cannot solve
even though this belief is proven
false all the time!

Cleanse our hearts of
pride and sins,
fill it with your humility,
justice and love, Lord Jesus!
Dwell in our hearts,
reign over us!

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be” (Mt.6:22-23).

Give us that light
and vision, Jesus
to see the most essential,
the most valuable in life
that are beyond
wealth, fame, and power;
free us from the darkness
and blindness
of not seeing beyond material things
so we may discern
the real treasures,
what is most valuable
in this life
like You and others,
love and peace
and joy.
Amen.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.

Having back what was lost

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Memorial of St. Anthony of Padua, Priest & Doctor of the Church, 13 June 2024
1 Kings 18:41-46     ><]]]]’>  +  <‘[[[[><     Matthew 5:20-26
Photo by author, 2023.
God our loving Father,
thank you for this memorial
of St. Anthony de Padua,
your humble servant who is also
the patron of lost items;
in sending us your Son Jesus Christ,
You gave us the chance 
to recover,
to have anew,
to find
whatever we have lost like our
dignity and honor as your children,
life in You 
with all the grace 
and fulfillment,
forgiveness,
and peace.

In a trice, the sky grew dark with clouds and wind, and a heavy rain fell. Ahab mounted his chariot and made for Jezreel. But the hand of the Lord was on Elijah, who girded up his clothing and ran before Ahab as far as the approaches to Jezreel.

1Kings 19:45-46
How lovely is this scene,
Father: of You sending rains again
to Israel after punishing them with 
a drought that lasted three years;
most especially of your prophet
Elijah despite his old age and weak
body being able to outrun King Ahab
in your immense power and grace
simply because he relied only in You;
help us find our way back to You,
O God, through Jesus Christ your Son;
take us back to your side,
to seek and follow your will
by being pure and clean before You
through our dealings with one another;
like St. Anthony,
may we immerse ourselves 
in your words
and teachings
so that we may be
more loving 
caring
and understanding,
Amen.

St. Anthony of Padua,
Pray for us!
The former residence of St. Anthony in Lisbon, Portugal converted into a church after his canonization as saint, a year after his death in 1231 at the age of 36. Photo courtesy of Mr. Jilson Tio of Our Lady of Fatima University, Valenzuela City.

Husband & Wife, an Icon of Christ

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 04 June 2024
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Here is our second instalment of our contribution in reflecting why divorce should not be allowed because it is against the plan of God and therefore, a sin. Please, we are not judging anyone here.

It is the simple truth that for the longest time people have refused to accept in their hearts that they have continuously sought ways of justifying divorce because right in their hearts, they are the first ones bothered. They had their chance to confront Jesus Christ about it 2000 years ago but the Lord minced no words when He declared the painful truth any pro-divorce would not discuss, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt.19:8).

How sad when articles come out trying so hard to dilute this truth by deliberately interpreting it in their own terms especially the many statements by Pope Francis which he had repeatedly clarified including that of the same sex union.

Most sad is when a news report supposed to present all sides chooses to cite only the questionable teachings of some experts in religion or theology without citing the Sacred Scriptures, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Church documents for official teachings on marriage. Worst, the same report highlighted views of Catholic theologians silenced long ago (may they rest in peace) by the Church for their misleading views on morality!

Divorce is against God’s plan. Marriage is only between a man and a woman as created by God, not invented by any one that is subject to changes or whims. Jesus explained this clearly in the same gospel scene which we shall echo today and forever: “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and he said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mt.19:4-6).

As a creation of God, marriage is a sacrament, a sign of His saving presence in this world in Jesus Christ who had come to reassert this truth. The problem remains the hardness of the hearts of people, especially of those getting married who are so preoccupied with the accidentals of marriage without realizing that they are an icon of Jesus.

Photo by author, 2019.

My first assignment after ordination in 1998 was to teach at the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos City. We also run an all-girls high school and an elementary school for boys and girls.

Marian was my student from elementary to high school whom I have known so well including her parents. We call our students ICONS, from the initials of our school name. Here are parts of my homily to Marian’s wedding last June 29, 2019 at the Malolos Cathedral.

Congratulations to you, my dearest Marian and Matt!

God willed that you get married today on the Solemnity of St. Peter and St. Paul, the two pillars of the Church established by our Lord Jesus Christ.

Like you, Marian and Matt, St. Peter and St. Paul are two people of opposite personalities, of different social and cultural backgrounds but were able to overcome these to work together for Jesus Christ. We celebrate their feast together because despite their many differences, they were united in their love for Jesus Christ. It was Christ who brought them together and kept them together so his Church would grow and be what it is today.

The same is true with you, Marian and Matt: Jesus Christ brought you together in spite of your many differences to be united in his love. Most of all, Marian and Matt, Jesus wants you to be his ICONS or images in the world today that has become individualistic.

An icon or image of Jesus like St. Peter and St. Paul is to be one in the Lord. A man and woman get married to become disciples of Christ, to become one in Christ, to look like Christ. That is the meaning of the word sacrament, visible sign of the saving presence of Jesus in the world.

And that is why the gospel you have chosen for your wedding day is so perfect, the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus gave us his Beatitudes that are actually directions for discipleship… let us reflect on the sixth Beatitude of Jesus: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God” (Mt.5:8).

Remember the Little Prince where the fox told him that “What is essential is invisible to the eye; it is only with the heart one can truly see”?

We can only see God with our hearts. The intellect alone is never enough.

And so it is with any person.

We can learn and know so many things about another person with our intellect but nothing will be enough for us to truly love him or her unless we let our hearts see the real him or her.

The heart is the wholeness of the person. Yesterday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Sometimes, when we use our minds, we see the world as so dark and so evil. But, if we have hearts that can see, we will be more surprised that there are more goodness, more beauty in this world than what we hear and see in the news and around us.

Marian and Matt, always have a clean heart to see each one’s goodness and beauty.

Always go back to those early days when you first saw each other with your hearts. Aside from the kilig factor, you felt and realized something deeper with each other. The beloved disciple, St. John, wrote in our first reading, “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1 Jn. 4:11-12).

And that is how we see God and others: always with our hearts when we love.

To have a clean heart, Marian and Matt, is to enter into the mind of Jesus Christ and that is to embrace his Cross. Having a clean heart is becoming one with Jesus Christ, especially in his love and fidelity.

A clean heart is a loving heart that always gives life, other-centered, veritable and enduring. Always in communion with Jesus Christ who gave us the new commandment to love like him by being rooted in the Father.

The love of Christ is the fire that purifies and cleanses our hearts, unifying our intellect, will and emotion that enables us to see oneness in ourselves before God. We see not only the good and the bad sides in ourselves but also among those around us, especially those we love.

Look back at your many experiences, Marian and Matt. Look at your past lives, your struggles, your mistakes and sins. Despite all these, you have also seen and experienced God’s loving presence in you in spite of your many darkness and divisions within.

That is why you are so “blessed”, Marian and Matt, because today on your wedding day, you enter God himself and you are able to “see” him with your loving hearts despite your pains and hurt, failures and shortcomings. Keep your hearts clean in Jesus Christ so you may always see God in each other. Amen.

https://lordmychef.com/2019/07/06/husband-and-wife-icons-of-christ/
Photo by author, Malolos Cathedral 2019.

My dearest married couples, please do not forget that fact, that reality: you are an image, an icon of Jesus Christ. And what a great honor!

That is why Jesus made His first miracle in a wedding at Cana to show your special place in God’s plan. You have chosen a most difficult kind of life but that is why you chose to get married in the Church – to be blessed by God.

God keeps His promise. Keep yours too! Praying for all couples especially those going through difficulties these days.