The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music, 02 February 2020
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, Bohol, 2019.
Welcome, followers and readers to this Sunday edition of our The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music as we feature a double-header from singer-composer Todd Rundgren: his first solid hit “I Saw the Light” and “Hello It’s Me” that are both from his 1972 album Something/Anything?
We are featuring two songs today because both are related with our celebration of the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord which falls on February second.
And besides, Todd’s music has always been my favorite while growing up in the 1970’s.
First, we choose I Saw the Light because it is very close to our liturgical feast today also known as Candlemass or Candelaria with Jesus Christ being the Light of the world. St. Luke tells us when Joseph and Mary brought the child Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem 40 days after Christmas, an old man of God named Simeon carried him in his arms and sang:
“Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory of your people Israel.”
Luke 2:29-32
Jesus is the Light of the world, the only one who can dispel all darkness in our lives.
In I Saw the Light, Todd tells us the story of a young man probably groping in some darkness in his relationship – actually a fling according to the song – with a girl and he does not know if that is really love.
Though we had our fling I just never would suspect a thing ‘Til that little bell began to ring in my head In my head But I tried to run, though I knew it wouldn’t help me none ‘Cause I couldn’t ever love no one, or so I said But my feelings for you were just something I never knew ‘Til I saw the light in your eyes
But I love you best It’s not something that I say in jest ‘Cause you’re different, girl, from all the rest In my eyes And I ran out before but I won’t do it anymore Can’t you see the light in my eyes
Meanwhile, in our second song Hello It’s Me, we find another man so in love with a woman who is also into some darkness.
Like in I Saw the Light, there is no recognition and hence, no meeting here in Hello It’s Me.
Hello, it’s me I’ve thought about us for a long, long time Maybe I think too much but something’s wrong There’s something here that doesn’t last too long Maybe I shouldn’t think of you as mine Seeing you, or seeing anything as much as I do you I take for granted that you’re always there I take for granted that you just don’t care Sometimes I can’t help seeing all the way through It’s important to me That you know you are free ‘Cause I never want to make you change for me
Both songs show us the important lesson taught to us by the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord: like anyone else, Jesus also comes but we on our part have to cultivate a relationship with him in order to always recognize him and eventually meet him to be one with him.
Just like the people we love.
Have a wonderful Sunday of prayer, food and drinks, and good music.
Friday, St. John Bosco, Priest, Patron of the Youth, 31 January 2020
2 Samuel 11:1-4, 5-10,13-17 ><)))*> 0 <*(((>< Mark 4:26-34
Pilgrims waiting for their turn into the Ascension Chapel at the Mount of Olives outside Jerusalem in Israel. Photo by author, May 2019.
On this last day of January 2020, we thank you God our Father for the grace of being alive and safe, for not forsaking us in this most trying first month of the year where we have seen and experienced many calamities here and abroad, deaths and sickness even among our relatives and friends as well people we look up to for inspirations.
It was a very trying month, Lord, that have sent many of us down into our knees in prayer and reflection, making us realize the many moments you have talked to us “in private” – the same way you did to your Apostles to explain the parables you have narrated (Mk.4:34).
How lovely are those words indeed, evoking a sense of kinship and intimacy with you and the Twelve. You know very well everything in our hearts, our innermost thoughts and feelings that you talk to us personally, in private.
What a shame, O Lord, when we commit despicable sins, believing we do them “in private” like David who had relations with Bathsheba and caused the death of her husband Uriah to cover up his sins.
So many times, Lord, we act like David as if nobody would ever know our sins and evil ways except us alone in private – “walang makakaalam kungdi ako lang” -as if you are not all-powerful (omnipotent), all-knowing (omniscient), and ever-present (omnipresent).
It is so foolish of us, Lord! And we are sorry.
Remind us that our most private moments are in fact the time you are most present with us, and in us. That there is no other path to follow in this life except your path, O Lord. Walk us through, Lord.
Like St. John Bosco, instill in our hearts this beautiful lesson he had taught us with:
From twitter.com
Like St. John Bosco, may we “always have fun in life, but never sin”, thinking only the glory of heaven as the ultimate end of everything we do in life! Amen.
2 Samuel 7:4-17 ><)))*> ><)))*> ><)))*> Mark 4:1-20
An oasis near the Dead Sea, Israel. Photo by author, May 2017.
God our Sower, every good seed is from you.
Thank you very much in giving us the best seed of all, your Son Jesus Christ, the “Word who became flesh”, himself the very fruit of the “seed” you promised to King David long, long ago.
That night the Lord spoke to Nathan and said: “Go, tell my servant David, ‘The Lord also reveals to you that he will establish a house for you. And when your time comes and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your heir after you, sprung from your loins, and I will make his Kingdom firm. It is he who shall build a house for my name. Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever before me; your throne shall stand firm forever.'”
2 Samuel 7: 11-13, 16
Cultivate us, O Lord, to become good soil who will be open to receive your seed to make it sprout and grow and bear fruits.
So many times in our lives, we choose to be like the “path” where seeds fall and we do not mind at all. Likewise, we sometimes choose to be like the rocky ground who joyfully received Jesus for a while but when trials come, we give up on him because we have not taken him into our hearts to take root in us.
There are those among us, O Lord, who choose to be among the thorns, who choose to believe in science and technology, in materialism that choke the word in us until it dies out and bear no fruit.
In all instances, the problem is with the soil, never with the seed that is so good if given a chance to grow on rich soil would surely be fruitful.
Teach us to be a rich soil, one who is patient and still, willing to wait for your coming each day sowing us the good seed who value silence, and most of all, who uphold the sanctity of life itself so that YOU, O Lord will grow in us, be nurtured by us, be loved and embraced by us.
Show us anew the beauty of your words, O Lord, so we may immerse ourselves in you, be still in your presence to receive and digest your words as food that delights us and strengthens us. Amen.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-28 ng Enero, 2020
Larawan mula “nappyafro”, 27 Enero 2020
Gaya ng karamihan
ako ma'y nagulantang
nang mabalitaan
biglang pagpanaw ni Kobe Bryant.
Hindi makapaniwala
tumutulo mga luha
pilit inuunawa
malagim na balita.
Aking binalikan
kahusayan at kagalingan
nitong si Kobe Bryant
hindi lamang basketball tatak na kanyang iniwan.
Larawan mula sa theplayerstribune.com
Hindi ko maubos maisip noon
nang siya'y paratangan
pang-aabuso ng isang babaeng
kawani ng hotel na kanyang tinuluyan.
Sadyang narumihan kanyang pangalan
kaya't sinikap niyang iyon ay lampasan
pumili ng bagong pangalan - Black Mamba -
taguri sa kanyang katauhan.
Ngunit mga kaguluhan
hindi siya nilayuan
pagkatalo ng kanyang koponan
pati kanyang kasal nalagay sa alangan.
Larawan mula sa we the pvblic.
Ngunit sadyang mahusay lumaro sa buhay itong si Kobe Bryant
kanyang mga salita pinatunayan, pinangatawanan
na ano mang negatibo, kaguluhan o kahirapan
daan at pagkakataon ng pagbangon.
Nang siya ay mamatay
makulimlim daw ang panahon
kadiliman muli siyang sinundan
upang bumangon sa piling na ng Panginoon.
Sa kanyang paglisan wala siyang sinabi ano man
at marahil kaya tayo nasaktan at luhaan
kanyang mga aral ay ginintuang katotohanan
tagos sa ating puso at kalooban.
Larawan mula sa The New Yorker
Pamilya at mga kaibigan
pahalagahan at mahalin ng lubusan
sapagkat itong buhay walang nakaaalam
kung hanggang kailan.
Gayun din naman
sa buong buhay ni Kobe Bryant
malinaw niyang sinabuhay
itong katotohanan:
Sa buhay palaging mayroong kadiliman
ngunit nasa ating mga kamay pagpapasya
kung mananatili sa kapanglawan o
tatahakin landas ng kaliwanagan!
Tuesday, St. Thomas Aquinas, Priest and Doctor of the Church, 28 January 2020
2 Samuel 6:12-15, 17-19 ><)))*> ><)))*> ><)))*> Mark 3:31-35
What else shall I say to you, O Lord our loving God? With this beautiful prayer by your “Angelic Doctor” St. Thomas Aquinas whose feast we celebrate today, we borrow not only his prayer but most of all, his attitude and disposition in seeking you always, serving you, loving you.
He had taught us that it is at the foot of the Cross of Jesus Christ where we can best learn about love, patience, humility, and obedience (Office of Readings).
Please us that desire always to seek you right there at the foot of your Son’s Cross, Lord.
Like King David, let us get near you O God represented at that time by the Ark of the Covenant but today in Jesus Christ, your Emmanuel present among us in the Holy Eucharist St. Thomas had loved so much with his hymns and prayers composed.
Like King David who danced before your Ark of the Covenant, may we give our selves totally at your service, Lord.
Help us do your will, Father, after praying at the foot of the Cross for that is when we truly become the “mother and brother and sister of Jesus” (Mk.3:35).Amen.
Photo by Mr. Jasper Dacutanan, 19 January 2020, our parish altar.
2 Samuel 5:1-7, 10 ><)))*> ><)))*> ><)))*> Mark 3:22-30
Photo by author, sunrise at Camp John Hay, Baguio City, November 2018.
Praise and thanksgiving to you, O God our loving Father in heaven! How amazing we are now at the final stretch of the month of January 2020, passing through many darkness that have cast over us spells of gloom and sadness, disappointments and fears, even hopelessness.
Yet, you never failed to shine upon us the bright lights of love and mercy, power and grace in Jesus Christ our Lord that we are still awake and so alive this Monday morning, ready to face another week of work and school, challenges and trials.
In our readings today, O God, you remind us of the need to be filled with your power and grace to accomplish your will despite many obstacles.
David in the first reading was able to unite all the tribes of Israel and drove away other peoples to make Jerusalem their capital city and your dwelling place. Indeed, in whomever your power rests, nothing is impossible to achieve.
But how unfortunate and tragic when people refuse to recognize your power, O God, resting on your Christ – your Anointed One – Jesus of Nazareth!
Like the scribes of his time, there are still some of us who believe in the power of other men and women than of your power in Jesus we often doubt and refuse to believe in.
The scribes who had come from Jerusalem said Jesus, “He is possessed by Beelzebul,” and “By the prince of demons he drives out demons.” Summoning them, he began to speak to them in parables, “How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.”
Mark 3:22-24
Bless us, O God, with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to recognize your power in Jesus Christ by first claiming it in your most holy name. To claim your power, O God, is to submit ourselves to your power to forgive our sins, to cleanse us of all evil, and most of all, to do everything in your glory.
Fill us with your power and grace, O Lord, so we may accomplish your work this week. Amen.
Friday, Memorial of St. Francis de Sales, Doctor of the Church, 24 January 2020
1 Samuel 24:3-21 ><)))*> ><)))*> ><)))*> Mark 3:13-19
Photo by author, Malolos Cathedral, December 2019.
Blessed are you, O God our loving Father! Thank you for the gift of self, the gift of everything especially our temperament.
Many times it is our temperament that lead us to a lot of troubles as well as to holiness like in the story of David today, the appointment of 12 Apostles by Jesus in the gospel, and the life of St. Francis de Sales whose memorial we celebrate today.
Thank you, Lord, for making us all too complex that despite the four types of temperament – sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholy, and choleric – there is really no clear cut category for each one of us.
Thank you for making us that way to have enough room for you to work on us, to help us subdue ourselves to your will and be holy.
How wonderful was the attitude of David not to harm Saul while they were hiding inside the cave: he chose to be kind and even magnanimous by “cutting off an end of Saul’s mantle” to show his goodwill (1 Sm.24:5).
In doing so, he earned the respect of his enemy, Saul who declared, “And now, I know that you shall surely be king and that sovereignty over Israel shall come into your possession” (1Sm.24:21).
Our newly ordained priest kneeling at prayer on his first Mass, 11 December 2019.
In the gospel, your Son’s choice of the 12 Apostles are very revealing of your love and mercy to us: a mix of different people of different even extreme backgrounds and temperament but all given with the chance to be a part of Jesus Christ’s mission.
Last but not least, O God, the choleric and fiery temperament of St. Francis de Sales was a lifelong struggle for himself even in is old age but he never stopped subduing himself to serve you best by effecting the return of about 70,000 Protestants into Catholicism in Switzerland, not to mention the millions of souls touched until today by his 21,000 letters and writings as well as the 4,000 sermons he had left that still inspire people today.
Indeed, he who conquers and masters himself for you, O God, is the victorious of all! Amen.
Isaiah 9:1-6 ><)))*> Ephesians 1:3-6, 15-18 ><)))*> Matthew 18:1-5, 10
The Cross and the Bell of our parish church. Photo by Gelo N. Carpio, 12 January 2020.
Looming high always at the center of our Christian faith is the Cross of Jesus Christ. Whether inside or outside any church, there is always the Cross reminding us of our salvation in Jesus and of the path we have to follow as his disciples.
But, so often we forget that the first call of the Cross is for us to be a child of God above all in order to follow his Son our Lord in his Passion, Death, and Resurrection.
Here we find the full meaning of our celebration of the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord last Sunday, of how in our Baptism we have become the children of God in Jesus Christ who became like us so that we may become like him, blessed and divine as the eternal Son of the Father.
Such is the plan of God in the very beginning of his Creation.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him. In love he destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ, in accord with the favor of his will, for the praise of the glory of his grace that he granted us in the beloved.
Ephesians 1:3-6
It is only in our becoming first the sons and daughters of the Father in Jesus Christ that St. Paul declares how we are saved in this part of the second reading skipped by the liturgy today:
In him we have redemption by his blood, the forgiveness of transgressions, in accord with the riches of his grace that he lavished upon us.
Ephesians 1:7-8
A painting of Sto. Niño devotees by Bulakenyo artist Aris Bagtas, 2018.
Work of Christmas continues
We are already into the second week of Ordinary Time in our liturgy but, we in the Philippines are still celebrating an “extension” of the Christmas Season this third Sunday of January for the Feast of the Sto. Niño, the Holy Child Jesus.
And, for a very good reason! to remind us the story of Christmas continues even after the Feast of the Lord’s Baptism or when all decors have been kept.
The work of Christmas, of sharing Jesus Christ in our loving service with others continues the whole year through. In fact, it is during the 34 weeks of Ordinary Time where we are most challenged to continue Christ’s work he started at Christmas when he became a child among us.
And there lies the very core of his teachings, of his message to us: our being like a child!
At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Jesus called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.”
Matthew 18:1-5
Jesus remained the Child of God until the end
If we examine everything in the Gospel, from the Incarnation and Nativity of Jesus, his hidden and public lives, his miracles and preaching, into his Passion, Death, and Resurrection, everything is anchored in Christ’s being like a child, the eternal Son of God.
When he was lost and found in the temple at the age of 12, right away he told his Mother his being the Son of God: “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (Lk.2:49)
Painting by Aris Bagtas, 2018.
At Last Supper, Jesus explained his being the Child of the Father: “The words that I speak to you I do not speak on my own. The Father who dwells in me is doing his works” (Jn.14:10).
His being one with the Father is due to his being the Eternal Son that reached its highest point of expression at the crucifixion where Jesus repeatedly called God his “Father”.
Here we find as in our gospel today the essential requirement of first becoming a child of God to make it into the kingdom of heaven. It is impossible to follow Jesus to his Cross when we remain adults who know everything!
This is the problem with the Traslacion that has become rowdy, even crazy over the years which is completely the opposite of the Pit Señor de Sto. Niño in Cebu that remains solemn and orderly despite its vast crowd of devotees.
See how in Quiapo the devotees “fight” and insist on their own ways of doing the procession, of how things are now turned upside down with the hijos lording over (pun intended) everything every January 9 with the gall to call Christ “Padre Nuestro Jesus de Nazareno”?
Everybody wants to fulfill one’s panata of jumping into the revered image of the Nazareno, in total disregard of others.
Where is the spirit of being a child, of being generous and kind with others?
What we have been seeing these past years in the Traslacion is more of machismo, of who is the greatest to be able to reach the Nazareno. And included among them are the growing members of media suddenly becoming devotees with the panata to anchor Traslacion!
Being a child is a call to daily conversion in Christ Jesus
Becoming like a child a daily call to conversion to Jesus, a going back to the story of Christmas, of being humble and small. I like that word used by Jesus today – turn – when he declared, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children…”
To be able to carry our cross and follow Jesus, we have to turn first, that is, be transformed from world-wise, self-sufficient, all-knowing adults of the world into abiding children of the Father of Jesus Christ by the grace of the Holy Spirit.
Children always have that glow within them that can disarm us of our insecurities and fears. Below is a painting by the Danish-German Modern Artist Emil Nolde (1867-1956) portrayed children with Christ in bright colors while the adults were all dark and gloomy.
“Christ Among Children” (1910) by Emil Nolde.
Being like a child is letting go of our fears and insecurities to entrust ourselves to God’s care and providence. And to others dependability and reliability too!
Maybe that is why as we get older, we mellow: we realize after all that we remain children of God and of somebody else in the end. There is always somebody out there who would look after us especially when we are already old and weak. There is always somebody whose heart would always be moved to come to our rescue or simply to warm our hearts or make us smile.
If each of us can become like a child daily, simply loving and trusting others, then we can bring light into this world deeply plunged in the darkness of sin and pride, of rat race without any winner, or arms race without any war at all.
If we can become like the child, we can become like Jesus Christ, the great light in the land of gloom bringing joy and great rejoicing (Is.9:1-2) with his life of love flowing from the great sacrifice at the Cross. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nick F. Lalog II, 15 January 2020
From The Times.
Now streaming at Netflix is this excellent original 2019 BBC production, Giri/Haji (Duty/Shame), a Japanese story of two brothers set almost entirely in London seemingly inspired by French existentialist writer Albert Camus with closing scenes set in Paris.
Midway through the series, one notices right away the complexities or, absurdities of life that one cannot simply categorize it between “duty and shame”, or good and evil, right and wrong, black and white.
It is a series that hits our innermost core when we find ourselves in those gray areas of confronting what we believe as right and just versus the value of every human person that Camus beautifully expressed in his 1947 novel “The Plague”:
“A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one’s work, and of devotion to duty; and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart.”
Albert Camus, The Plague
Like most Netflix series, Giri/Haji is rated 18+ for its violence, language, substance, and nudity but everything is done beautifully and artistically.
It is a masterpiece that shows some common threads among us humans regardless of our color and culture, gender and age, belief and language. How the creators were able to perfectly blend these all with the excellent cinematography, music, and fine prints into uncluttered and pure simplicity of Japanese Zen principles are a work of art and film genius.
Simple plot but very personal and universal
The plot is simple: an elder, straight brother is a cop with a younger brother who is a Yakuza member hiding in London after being presumed dead when he got the daughter of his boss pregnant. He staged his revenge in London where he killed a Japanese executive with the knife of his former boss that had sparked a war among Yakuza families in Tokyo that was going out of control. Cop-brother comes to London to bring his gangster brother back to Japan to atone for his sins so that peace is restored among the Yakuzas.
Along the way, the two brothers’ stories converged with the stories of three other main characters that provided the many uneventful twists to be united by the element of deaths in various forms and circumstances.
From Google.
Giri/Haji honestly confronts our basic issues of love and acceptance so lacking or taken for granted in our own families that lead to a host of so many other problems and situations like drugs and other crimes, infidelity and promiscuity, as well as homosexuality and sexual orientations.
What is so unique with the series is how it was able to take these sensitive issues as subjects to be seen in relation with persons, not as objects to be studied or examined apart from anyone that it becomes more of an experience, not just an entertainment.
Giri/Haji is so personal, you can feel yourself “slashed” so you experience the subjects’ pains and hurts, longings and desires, dreams and aspirations.
Like the samurai blade that can cut through almost anything, the series hits you at almost every turn that you find yourself laughing and weeping without realizing that along with the characters, you have also laid your soul bare for serious self-confrontation and examination about your very self and the people around you in the relationships you keep as well as skipped or taken for granted.
Death and new life
There is no glorification of evil and immoralities but Giri/Haji invites us to see these as realities in our imperfect world that must be seen more with our hearts than with our minds and convictions. The series contrasts the Western frame of mind of morals as codes to be followed to the minutest details that slashes even persons into categories with the Oriental point of view of seeing morality in the totality of the person.
How it is resolved in the end is amazing!
And despite its genre being crime and violence, I would still say Giri/Haji is so lovely, even quaint and as Japanese as it can be especially with the depiction of changing of seasons that peaked at autumn.
Despite the dark and gloomy nature of the topics of death in all of its forms, there is the radiance of hope always that will lead to new life. The series teems with other symbolisms and signs including great music selections that add intensity to its drama and tragedy that make us hope the new season comes soonest.
For the meantime, listen to the beautiful music theme of the Giri/Haji by British singer Tom Odell.
Take my mind And take my pain Like an empty bottle takes the rain And heal, heal, heal, heal
And take my past And take my sense Like an empty sail takes the wind And heal, heal, heal, heal
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nick F. Lalog II, 13 January 2020
Photo by my high school seminary friend, Mr. Chester Ocampo, taken at the UST Senior High where he teaches art (2019).
Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone..
John Mellencamp, “Jack & Diane” (1982)
Maybe this is part of getting old, of maturing. Of learning to grapple with life’s mortal realities and still be excited with living. It is a grace that is both fulfilling but also deeply moving and often, chilling.
An uncle and a friend have commented to me in our recent chats how 2020 had come in hard and difficult with so many sickness and deaths in the family.
Some relatives have to fly to Singapore on New Year’s Day to support a cousin whose husband had an office accident that left him in comatose for five days following a brain surgery. He eventually died and had to be cremated a few days later.
December 11 I had to drive to Manila to visit and anoint the father of my best friend from high school seminary who arrived December 2 from the States, fell ill December 4, and had to spen Christmas and New year in the hospital.
Less than 24 hours after being discharged January 3, he died the following morning after talking with my friend based in Chicago, three days short before eldest daughter arrived to accompany him and wife back to New Jersey this week.
Meanwhile last January 2, I had to rush again this time to Quezon City for the wake of our high school seminary classmate Rommel who had died of multiple complications morning of December 31.
He is the third to “rest in peace” in our batch of 18 men who graduated the minor seminary in 1982. We last saw him in our reunion, September 9, 1990 (9-9-90).
Suddenly, I felt myself in some kind of a time warp when everything seemed to be not too long ago, as if we have just graduated recently, or that my dad and their dads have just passed away one after the other these past months.
Death can sometimes be magical when life is lived in love
I realized that when we have so much love for everyone like relatives and friends, including parishioners in the last eight years, time stands still after their deaths. You do not count the days and weeks and months and years you were together and when they have all gone.
They all seem to be still present because you are focused on how those departed have enriched your very life, your very person no matter how fleeting or long ago you were together.
Death can sometimes be magical, most of all grace-filled, when our lives are lived in love.
Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone…
John Mellencamp, “Jack & Diane” (1982)
Photo by author, our sacristy 2019.
Memories and knowledge fade, but love remains
Finally I had the chance to visit my mom – for Christmas! – evening of January 6. It was so good that just before leaving, a cousin arrived with his family to visit also my mother who is the younger sister of his mother, my Tita Celia.
It was only at that evening we have finally confirmed that Tita Celia has Alzheimer’s, the reason why her ways and attitudes have been noticeably erratic in 2019 as she was slowly losing grip of her senses.
And now, it is almost all gone according to my cousin whose sadness I strongly felt as he narrated to me the deterioration of his mother, of forgetting and losing so many things, of not recognizing familiar people like relatives and friends.
That same night, we also learned from him how our moms’ younger brother seem to be having signs of the onset of Alzheimer’s disease that are very similar with Tita Celia.
Again, I found myself in a “time warp” while they were happily conversing I was silently trying to recall the last time I have seen my mother’s siblings now afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, wondering if they will still recognize me if I visit them later.
Moreover, I also realized how afraid I am with the prospects of getting sick in old age than of dying, sooner or later!
In fact, I was so scared that I had a nightmare that same night: in my dream I found myself lost, apparently with Alzheimer’s as I was searching for my parish rectory, looking for my bedroom, asking people about my parish staff, crying like a child.
What a relief when I woke up Tuesday morning that it was just a dream, that I was in fact in my bed, inside my room, in my parish rectory, so alive and still whole!
It seems it is easier to think and accept of one’s death than of getting sick and incapacitated later in old age. It is something we have to slowly come to terms with while still younger and stronger, and perhaps wiser.
How?
As I recalled our conversations with my cousin Louie that Monday night at home, I was amazed at his great love for his mother, Tita Celia. I remembered how he would always have pasalubong for his mother even upon coming home from school!
Maybe that is why even she had forgotten most of us her relatives, she always remembers Louie her son because he is the one who has truly loved her next to the late Tito Memo, her husband. The same is true with others taking care of their old parents afflicted with Alzheimer’s: they are recognized and remembered because they love.
Our memories and knowledge may be erased but the love we have in our hearts, the love we have experienced always remain even if everything has failed in life. That is why St. Paul declared that “love is the greatest of all gifts of God”.
Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone…
John Mellencamp, “Jack & Diane” (1982)
With my former students at the Cubao Cathedral after the wedding of their classmate. I felt so proud, and old, that afternoon seeing them all with their career and family, of how they have maintained their friendships all these years like brothers, of they love one another. Photo by Peter dela Cruz, one in blue.
To live is to love
December 2019 and January 2020 are perhaps my most “marrying months” in my 21 years of priesthood.
Aside from the weddings of friends and students I have officiated these past two months, three more are coming next month of February.
Again, as I saw friends and especially former students getting married, I could not believe at how fast time had passed.
Should I really be surprised when I find out my former students already in their early 30’s, some with families of their own and children whom they instruct to kiss my hand, calling me Lolo Fr. Nick?
It was a very “existential” experience that they are already old, and most of all, I am really that old after all!
Maybe that is what my married friends are telling me of the joy of fatherhood, of having your kids getting married, of having grandchildren, of the inner satisfaction that you have brought life to fruition.
That you have truly loved and now being loved.
It is perhaps the joy of getting old, of maturing, of dying or even forgetting everything when afflicted later with Alzheimer’s that you start to fade from the scene and hand over the stage to the next generation, thinking that life will still go on after us because you have loved much.
What really matters in the end is how we have lived and loved the people around us, of how we have enriched each other’s lives so that as the young ones discover life’s meaning in love, we who are older find life’s fulfillment still in the love from the relationships we keep.
Here’s a hill-billy rock music about love to drive your Monday’s blues away.
lordmychef.com 