Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
The Seven Last Words, 01 April 2023
Photo by author, Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City, 2014.
When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him and the criminals there, one on his right, the other on his left. Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”
Luke 23:33-34
Such is “the breadth, and length, and depth, and height of Christ’s love for us all” (Eph. 3:18-19) that right upon His crucifixion, Jesus begged God for our forgiveness. And that was not only for those who nailed Him on the cross on that Good Friday but also for us today who continue to crucify Him whenever we destroy our relationships.
In the Jewish thought, “to know” is not just of the mind but of the heart because to know is to have or enter into a relationship with others. Hence, Jesus begged first for our forgiveness when crucified because if there is something we must “know” above all is the fact that we are brothers and sisters in Him, one family in God our Father.
Every time there is a breakdown in our relationships, when we destroy our ties with one another, that is when we sin and know not what we do. And crucify Jesus anew.
We sin and know not what we do when we hurt those dearest to us – our mom and dad, sisters and brothers, relatives and friends – when we speak harsh words to them, calling them names, denigrating their persons as things.
We sin and know not what we do when we betray the trust of those with whom we promised to love forever, keep their secrets and protect them like your husband or wife, your children, your BFF, your student, your ward.
We sin and know not what we do when we lose hope in persons around us, choosing to do them evil because we thought they could no longer change for better, that they could never learn and overcome life’s pains and tragedies, that they could no longer get well from an illness or, sadly, because they are old and dying.
We sin and know not what we do when we cheat on those true to us, when we hide from those open to us, when we back stab those who believe and support us.
We sin and know not what we do when we abuse and use those people we are supposed to serve and protect, when we regard persons as objects to be possessed even if we do not know them personally.
Is there anyone whom you might have hurt in words or in deeds which you might not be aware of?
Who are the people who cause you pains and sufferings, who do not know what they are doing?
Let us pray:
Lord Jesus Christ,
I am sorry in crucifying You again,
when I know not what I am doing
like hurting the people You give and send me
to experience your love and mercy,
your trust and confidence
your kindness and fidelity;
I pray also for those who make me
suffer physically and emotionally,
those who do not know what they are doing;
help us build again
our many broken relationships;
make us humble and true;
let us believe in Your love
expressed by our family and friends
and by everyone who cares for us.
Amen.
Photo above is a sculpture called “Love” by Ukrainian artist Alexander Milov he created in 2015 showing two adults after a disagreement sitting with their back to each other while their inner child in both of them wanting to connect. A beautiful expression of how we are all interconnected and related as brothers and sisters. This Holy Week, let us mend and heal our broken relationships, let the inner child within us come out and simply say “I am sorry” or “I forgive you” and most especially, “I love you”. Photo from reddit.com. See also our blog, https://lordmychef.com/2023/01/14/the-human-child-mystery-of-gods-love/.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion, 02 April 2023
Isaiah 50:4-7 > + < Philippians 2:6-11 > + < Matthew 27:11-54
Photo by author, Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion 2019, Parokya ni San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista, Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.
We now enter the holiest week of the year, the height of our Lenten preparations for Easter. What we have today are two ancient celebrations merged by Vatican II in 1963: the blessing of palms practiced in Jerusalem as early as the fourth century and the papal tradition of proclaiming the very long gospel of the Lord’s Passion in Rome about year 500. Hence, the title “Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion”.
And it is a beautiful innovation in our liturgy showing us so many truths in our lives like we begin Holy Week with the triumphal entry of Jesus to Jerusalem, leading to the Holy Triduum of Passion and Death on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday into the bursting joy and glory on Easter.
That for me is life itself.
We come into this world in triumph like Jesus with everybody rejoicing with our birth until we grow up, going through a lot of pains and sufferings with little deaths right in the hands of those supposed to love us but always, there is the joy of maturity, of fulfillment in Christ with many Easter moments of triumphs and consolations. Today’s celebrations remind us that while there will always be the disappointing manifestations of sin and evil in life, overall, there is always the immense and immeasurable love of God expressed in Jesus Christ dying on the Cross.
“Ecce Homo” painting by Vicente Juan Masip (1507-1579) from masterapollon.com
Our gospel is very long even in its shorter version. Let us focus on the Lord’s silence from his arrest to His crucifixion.
The Lord God has given me a well-trained tongue, that I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them. I gave my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who plucked my beard; my face I did not shield from buffets and spitting. The Lord God is my help, therefore, I am not disgraced; I have set my face like flint, knowing that I shall not be put to shame.
Isaiah 50:4, 6-7
Jesus is the fulfillment of the so-called Suffering Servant of God in the Book of Isaiah. What is striking is how he claims to have been given with a well-trained tongue but He rarely spoke when tried and crucified, choosing to be silent in the midst of great sufferings. What a great display of love for us!
In a world drowning in a cacophony of sounds and noise with everyone and everything speaking like elevators and cellphones, the more God is silent, waiting for us to stop and listen to Him in Jesus Christ who speaks within us. From Pilate to the soldiers to the Pharisees and priests with their rabid packs of demagogues who ceaselessly mocked Jesus even while slowly dying on the Cross, Jesus remained silent.
Because He loves us.
Because He waits for us to stop and listen.
Because life is more true and fulfilling in silence, not in sounds and noise.
Last Monday we celebrated the Feast of St. Joseph where we heard in the gospel how an angel told him to take Mary as wife with the specific task of naming her child “JESUS” which means “God saves”. See how God gave that specific mission to the most silent man in the Bible, St. Joseph who must have taught Jesus the value of silence!
That is how God saved us in Jesus by remaining silent even on the Cross. If ever He spoke, it was mostly to pray the psalms. In Jesus, God saves us in silence while we are in the din of noises of sin. Oh how we speak a lot these days against God, still putting Him on trial, blaming Him for all the problems and woes we have in our lives and in the world.
Photo by author, August 2020.
Like Pilate and the crowd with their religious leaders, we say a lot about God that are often not true but He never argued nor debated with us just like then because Jesus loves us, because His name means “God saves” and that was exactly the meaning of His silence.
How could be God so demanding as many would claim with His many words of instructions and commandments of things to do and not to do plus warnings against sin just to obey Him when He has always been silent?
Today we are reminded how we talk too much and accomplish so little, even nothing, while Jesus is silent because His name means “God saves”, witnessing it in fact in silent sufferings that was a scandal for many at that time.
Moreover, Jesus showed us today in His sufferings how silence is ultimately the expression of trust in God. When we are able to slow down and be silent in the face of many trials, that is a clear indication of our deep faith and trust in God. People who trust are the most silent because simply wait for their deliverance or salvation. Like Jesus Christ.
Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:6-8
Photo by author, Betania-Tagaytay City, 2018.
More scandalous than the silence of Jesus Christ during His trial was His crucifixion, the supreme expression of His name’s meaning, “God saves”. See how since the fall of Adam and Eve, sin has always been an attempt by humans in becoming like God. There has always been that conscious or unconscious feeling of competition with God whom many see as controlling, manipulative and even power-hungry.
But right there on the Cross, Jesus showed us that indeed, in His very Person how God saves by utterly being weak and powerless.
God saves us in Jesus through the path of powerlessness and weakness, docility and humility, of simplicity before men and before His Father.
That is why even at His triumphal entrance to Jerusalem, He rode a lowly donkey never been used by anyone, a fulfillment of many Old Testament allusions and prophecies that “your king comes to you, meek and riding on an ass, and on a colt, the foal of a beast of burden (donkey)” (Mt. 21:5; Zech. 9:9). His triumphal entry into Jerusalem was the fulfillment of the words of God to his prophets, showing us that indeed, everything Jesus did and said were in accordance with the Father’s will, never on His own.
Photo by author, 2018.
Because His name Jesus means, “God saves”.
What is most beautiful in the reading earlier at the blessing of palms was how Matthew described the Lord’s triumphal entry into Jerusalem – exactly just like the coming of the wise men from the East!
And when he entered Jerusalem the whole city was shaken…
Matthew 21:10
Imagine how a very large crowd welcomed Jesus, spreading their cloaks on the road where He passed, chanting “Hosanna to the Son of David” (Mt.21:9).
Like when Jesus was born and Magis from the East came to Jerusalem inquiring about the newborn king of Israel, they were also shaken! And the irony then at His birth and at His triumphal entry, the learned have refused to recognize Him despite their having all the knowledge and writings available to them.
Is it not the same thing continues to happen to us in our lives, when despite all the kindness and mercy of God, we refuse to recognize His Son’s coming Jesu Christ including the salvation He had gained for us? Where have all the people gone on Sundays? Does God still matter to us? Do we not care at all whenever Jesus comes to us most especially in the Eucharist during the Sunday Mass?
Both the rites of the blessing of palms with the procession and the Mass on this Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion are not merely a recalling of a past event, but a making present, a re-membering of Jesus our King triumphantly coming daily – still in silence – to us in the simplicity of bread and wine to become His Body and Blood for us to offer and share in order to experience Him, our Resurrection and Life because His name means “God saves”.
In the Eucharist, Jesus comes to us as “God saves us”, fulfilling us, blessing us.
This Holy Week, especially at the Holy Triduum of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Vigil, we are reminded of our task to witness to everyone the meaning of the name of Jesus, “God saves” by being present to Him in the Eucharist. Inside the church. With our family. Not in the beach nor a resort unmindful of history’s greatest moment when God saved us from sins by dying on the Cross. Amen. Please, have a meaningful Holy Week to experience the joy of Easter!
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Fifth Week of Lent, 31 March 2023
Jeremiah 20:10-13 >>> +++ <<< John 10:31-42
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City.
God our loving Father,
I am a sinner;
forgive me for always turning
my back from You,
for refusing to love
like Jesus Your Son;
but, despite my being a sinner,
You know very well how I love you,
You know everything about me,
how I strive repeatedly
because I trust in You.
I believe in You!
Like the psalmist,
I sing this day,
"I love you, O Lord,
my strength...
In my distress I called
upon the Lord
and cried out to my God;
from his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him
reached his ears"
(Psalm 18:2, 7).
Like Your prophet Jeremiah,
I could hear people,
even those closest to me,
denouncing my efforts to be
just and loving,
living Your precepts;
I could hear their whispering,
"on watch for any misstep of mine"
(Jeremiah 20:10).
Worst,
like Jesus Christ,
some have tried harming me
with their words and deeds!
Sometimes, I feel so low,
so sad how good would be
rewarded with evil by some.
But I trust in You,
dearest Father;
let me witness
Your love and mercy,
justice and kindness
despite my sinfulness
and weaknesses.
Be my strength and
my surety.
Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday in the Fifth Week of Lent, 30 March 2023
Genesis 17:3-9 >>> +++ <<<. John 8:51-59
Photo by author, 2017.
Your words today,
dear God our Father
remind me of my venial sins,
the most common sins I take for granted
because they are "small", too little and
not fatal like mortal sins.
Unfortunately, there is something sinister
with venial sins being the most common of sins,
repetitious to the point we get discouraged
and even depressed of the need for
conversion,
to break free from
our cycle of venial sins.
"For what?"
"Para que?"
"Ganun din naman, uulit din!"
Abraham was already 99 years old
when You, O God, formalized with him
Your covenant to become the father of all nations;
how good he was not discouraged
to the point of being depressed,
giving up Your plans, Father,
waiting for Isaac's birth
because he was very old,
perhaps even sinful.
Merciful Father,
forgive me when I act like
the people who tried stoning Jesus
when He said "before Abraham came to be,
I AM" (John 8:58); don't let me get to that
point that whatever You say would mean nothing
to me because of my repetitious venial sins;
do not let me be discouraged, God,
because discouragement indicates
I trust more myself than You, O Lord.
Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Fifth Week of Lent, 28 March 2023
Number 21:4-9 >>> +++ <<< John 8:21-30
Photo by author, 22 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City.
Dearest God our Father,
help me to level up in Jesus,
let me shift_ my being in Christ
to see things in Your perspectives
unlike the Israelites who complained
against You and Moses
while in the wilderness
when their "patience (was) worn out
by the journey" (Num. 21:4)
that they failed to see You and
Your blessings pouring upon them.
Let me be like the poor people
in the crowd listening to Jesus
who came to believe in Him
after saying:
“When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM, and that I do nothing on my own, but I say only what the Father taught me. The one who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him.”
John 8:28-29
How funny and ironic
that the Pharisees could not
understand Jesus when speaking
in literal and figurative senses
because they have boxed Him in their minds,
constricting the very person of Christ
in their own understanding.
Many times, Father,
we are like them.
So true are the words of Jesus
"You belong to what is below,
I belong to what is above.
You belong to this world,
but I do not belong to this world"
(John 8:23).
On many occasions,
loving Jesus,
You have expressed how we
your disciples must be in the world
but never of the world.
Enable us to level up in You
so that in the same manner
lead others up to you.
Amen.
Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-27 ng Marso 2023
Larawan kuha ng may akda, 20 Marso 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC.
Ang unang atas nating gawain
bilang mga alagad ni Kristong Panginoon natin
ay katulad din ng gampaning hinabilin
kay San Jose na butihin:
pangalanang "Jesus" isisilang ng Birhen
kahuluga'y ang Diyos Tagapagligtas natin!
O butihing San Jose
tulungan mo kami mapalalim
katauhan at kabanalan namin
upang nahihimbing man o gising
Banal na Kalooban ng Diyos
manaig palagi sa amin
gaya nang iyong sundin
mga habilin ng anghel
sa loob ng iyong panaginip:
tuluyang pakasalan si Maria
at ibigay ang pangalang Jesus
sa Sanggol niyang isisilang
na ang kahuluga'y
ang Diyos ang Tagapagligtas natin.
Ito ang ipinahayag ni Jesus
nang ipako sa Krus:
Diyos ating Tagapagligtas
hindi kaagaw sa kapangyarihan
na akala ng karamihan;
pinipigilan tayo sa kasalanan
upang di tayo masaktan
para sa ating sariling kapakanan;
doon sa Krus pinatunayan
Diyos ating Tagapagligtas
sariling buhay inalay ni Jesus
upang huwag tayong mawalan
bagkus magkaroon ng
buhay na walang hanggan.
Atin gampanan unang atas
na ipakilala ang Diyos Tagapagligtas,
tularan katahimikan at katapatan ni San Jose
na kailanma'y hindi iniwan bagkus iningatan si Jesus
kaya sa kanyang pagpanaw nang di na magising,
katabi at kapiling Diyos Tagapagligtas natin!
Larawan kuha ng may akda, 20 Marso 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Fifth Sunday in Lent-A, 26 March 2023
Ezekiel 37:12-14 + Romans 8:8-11 + John 11:3-7, 17, 20-27, 33-45
Photo by author, 22 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City.
We conclude this Sunday the three Johannine readings during this Lenten season with the story of the raising of Lazarus from the dead. More powerful than the healing of the man born blind last Sunday, St. John shows in this raising of Lazarus who had been dead for four days that Jesus is truly the Christ, the awaited Messiah. Most of all, it is in this raising of Lazarus that Jesus also made his greatest “I AM” statement of all, “I am the resurrection and the life”.
Like the two previous long stories from St. John, let us focus on the opening paragraph of this long narrative that right away gives us a hint of something very striking, of why Jesus delayed his coming to Lazarus supposed to be his friend, someone so dear to him.
The sisters of Lazarus sent word to Jesus, saying, “Master, the one you love is ill.” When Jesus heard this he said, “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was. Then after this he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
John 11:3-7
An icon of Jesus visiting his friends, the siblings Sts. Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Photo from crossroadsinitiative.com.
Don’t you find it striking that after asserting that “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus”, then, “he remained for two days in the place where he was” (vv.5-6)? How could Jesus loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus yet delayed his coming in visiting them, especially Lazarus who was sick? His love for Lazarus as his friend should have made him proceeded to visit him right away and had he gone soon enough, Lazarus would have not died at all!
Many times we are also baffled with God who claims to love us so much but too often, delays his coming to us, in answering our prayers, and even seems to allow us to suffer so much before finally coming to our rescue!
The key, my dear friends, is found in verse 4 when Jesus said “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Like in the healing of the man born blind last Sunday when Jesus told his disciples that “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him” (Jn.9:3), St. John is reminding us in this raising of Lazarus from the dead that the love of Jesus Christ for us is manifested in works that show the glory of God by which we his disciples come to deeper faith.
When bad things happen to us making us feel in dire need of help and deliverance from God immediately, we tend to focus on what’s wrong, what’s broken and what needs help, expecting God to do something quick about it. But Jesus is teaching us this Sunday to approach situations of tragedy and deep crises like when somebody is too sick, even death by first seeking means how we can be an instrument who manifest God’s glory in this moment of great danger and need. Jesus is governed by something greater than human affection and expectations but by the Father’s will.
See at a very young age after Jesus was lost and then found in the temple when he clarified to his parents that he had to be in his Father’s home?! As he matured and later with his disciples, he would always insist on the need to seek, follow, and stand by the truths of the Father for he does and says nothing not known by the Father. When it seems to take time so long in receiving God’s assistance, never think he loves us less. In fact, he loves us so much that he finds something else so beautiful in such situations that he opts to delay in answering our prayer requests immediately.
Remember how the Israelites spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness before entering the Promised Land after their exodus from Egypt when they could have accomplished that in less than a month maybe or even a year. But in their wandering in the desert for 40 years, they were purified and bonded as a nation. It was during those years they developed their language and culture and most especially, the composition of the first five books of the bible! Many times, God delays his coming to us so as to make us stronger and deeper in our faith like Martha and Mary. Just because God does not act quickly to our needs does not mean he loves us less that we begin doubting his love for us.
“The Raising of Lazarus”, 1311 painting by Duccio de Buoninsegna. Photo by commons.wikimedia.org
The love of Jesus for everyone, especially his friends, Lazarus, Martha and Mary is best expressed in giving glory to the Father by helping them come into deeper faith. That is the greatest gift we can also give our family and friends – deepened faith through a life that points to God and not us.
There are times we feel like being grounded and even pulverized by God – dinudurog – not because he does not love us but primarily to transform us into better persons. In the first reading, God assured Ezekiel which was fulfilled in Christ that he would make us rise not only at the end of time but even in our little deaths daily in life by breathing into us his Spirt. This is the goal of every Lenten journey that leads to Easter, that amid all the sufferings and pains, even deaths we experience in life, we always emerge better, living more in the Spirit of God (second reading) than in flesh.
Hindi lang tayo mahal ng Diyos. Mahal na mahal na mahal tayo ng Diyos kay Jesus!
After each darkness in life, there is always new life in each new day with Jesus calling us to “come out” like Lazarus as a better disciple. Amen. Have a blessed week!
Photo by author, 22 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, Quezon City.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Thursday in the Fourth Week of Lent, 23 March 2023 Exodus 32:7-14 >>> + <<< John 5:31-47
Photo by author, 03 March 2023, Teresa, Rizal.
Forgive us,
God our merciful Father
for our forgetfulness and
thanklessness; more than
being forgetful, we are also
ungrateful like the Israelites at Sinai.
Many times in life,
we rarely appreciate what we have,
especially the little ones.
How unfortunate we recognize only
big things as important that we forget
everything in life which is the sum of
the littlest things put together -
the single steps of every journey,
the minute cells of our body,
the little efforts put together
by the little, ordinary people
who give us our meals, our daily needs,
the small acts of kindness like smiles,
hi’s and hellos we don’t even mind at all;
the little children who play or cry
to remind us of our beginnings…
So many other tiny,
little things and moments,
ordinary people we disregard
that prevent us from remembering and
thanking you and everyone
for the many joys and comforts
we enjoy in every moment.
Forgive us also,
loving Father,
of how we forget
and hence could not appreciate
to be grateful with the little
gifts we have within like
this life we have versus the
great moments of victory and fame we
choose to remember; the family and
friends you surround us daily
but take for granted as we prefer
big people like the rich and famous;
those little giftedness of ours like
simplicity, sense of humor,
even rich appetite to savor
and enjoy ordinary food shared
with common folks we forget
and become thankless for our gifts
of selves and uniqueness.
Bless us,
dear God to remember
and be reminded of the many
gifts we have but unaware
that make us thankless and forgetful,
tempting us to create our own idols
and golden calves to worship;
open our eyes to see your works
and majesty in Jesus who became like
us in everything except sin
so that we experience you more
in flesh in us and one another;
help us feel and enjoy life’s little joys
and blessings so we may remember
and never forget all good things
come from you, often in little
packages to be more appreciative
and grateful.
Amen.
40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Wednesday in the Fourth Week of Lent, 22 March 2023 Isaiah 49:8-15 >>> + <<< John 5:17-30
Photo by author, sunrise at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 22 March 2023.
Loving God our Father,
Your words say it all today,
my birthday:
Thus says the Lord: In a time of favor I answer you, in the day of salvation I help you; and I have kept you and given you as a covenant to the people… Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.
Isaiah 49:8, 15
The Lord is gracious and merciful.
Responsorial Psalm, Ps. 145:8
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC, 22 March 2023.
More than words, dear Father,
I praise and thank you
for your boundless love
and kindness to me all these
58 years!
You have always been present with me,
in me, for me, and through me in Jesus Your Son.
And so, I pray this to you:
Dearest Lord,
you have given me with so much,
I have given you so little;
teach me to give more
of my time and talents,
to give more of my self
so I can give Christ Jesus to others,
especially his love and mercy,
kindness and forgiveness;
empty me of my pride, Lord,
and fill me with your humility,
justice and love.
Amen.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC, 22 March 2023.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 March 2023
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, 20 March 2023, Novaliches, QC.
Thank you for your birthday greetings. I have been on a silent retreat since Monday until Wednesday, my 58th birthday, at the Jesuits’ Sacred Heart Novitiate (SHN) in Quezon City. I usually go on retreats in June when my loads were lighter, when I feel so tired and exhausted, even burned out. Or when I have to make a major decision that I have to discern well.
For the first time, I went on this personal retreat not out of dire needs or even expediencies except that I miss God so much. This is the first time I went on a retreat without problems or issues to resolve. Most of all, without any complaints to God as I told my spiritual director, Fr. Danny Gozar, one of the Jesuits who facilitated our 30-Day Retreat in Cebu in 1995.
Sharing with you some of God’s consolations to me since Monday.
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
It was the feast of St. Joseph last Monday because March 19 fell on the Fourth Sunday in Lent. Right away, God consoled me upon arrival here when the daily Mass was starting. The priest, the Australian novice master of the Jesuits said in his homily that St. Joseph’s mission to give the name “Jesus” to the Child to be born by the Blessed Virgin Mary is also our first task in life which is to witness that “God saves” which is the meaning of the name “Jesus”.
That is when I realized the silence of St. Joseph which is not just being quiet by shutting out all the noise; silence is fulness, trying to listen and discern the sounds within, the sounds that speak of love and kindness, of mercy and forgiveness, of the voice of God also the softest and faintest, telling us to trust him alone and not be bothered with what would happen next.
To be silent like St. Joseph is ultimately to be silent like Jesus on the Cross, wholly trusting the Father, loving us until the end.
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
After lunch, I caught sight of the beautiful statue of Our Lady of Banneux (Our Lady of the Poor) at the side garden. It is one of my favorite prayer spots in this 23-hectare spirituality center in Quezon City. It was a nice spot to think of the many things I am thankful for since 2020 in preparation for my actual prayer blocks later that afternoon. And I had so many things to thank God since the pandemic started. First is the gift of life, that I have survived COVID-19!
The beauty of prayer is how it opens us to so many things about us we were totally unaware of like the gifts God has given us, the blessings he has showered us, the immense love he has for us. I discovered 20 things to be thankful for which I never thought I had and had never even thanked God for them!
That is the giftedness also of the Blessed Virgin Mary as she sang her Magnificat that while all generations shall call her blessed, she remains God’s lowly handmaid (Lk.1:48), remaining poor, an anawim who relies only in the Lord.
Being poor like Mary is being simple and empty for God. May we always be poor in need of God!
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
Fr. Danny directed me to just pray that afternoon until evening Psalm 139:1-18, asking for the specific grace of Mystery, of God himself. And God answered me! I felt his presence and generally, there was the feeling of joy within as I prayed before the Blessed Sacrament.
“You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret…
Psalm 139:13-15
God confirmed my earlier reflections, the things I am thankful to him since 2020.
God designed me personally, he had a purpose in creating me and creating me this way which for so long I have not totally appreciated and liked, wishing I were somebody else, or endowed with so many other talents I so admire in others.
God made each of us so specially, not mass-produced.
He made us so well, almost perfect to reflect his glory. And along this is the need to take care of ourselves.
How can I be a sign of God's glory and majesty even though I am sinner?
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
After supper, I felt longing for God that I went back to the chapel for another hour of prayer. I was a bit distracted, even restless at the start. Indeed, the most difficult prayer is always the most meritorious as I felt a deep intensity in the following passage:
Lord, you have probed me, you know me; you understand my thoughts from afar. My travels and my rest you mark; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, Lord, you know it all.
Psalm 139:1, 2-4
God knows everything about us! There is no hiding from him. But, even if he knows us so well, he does not impose himself on us. Many times, God allows us to open up to him in our own time. Not just in his time. Like when we go astray, when we turn away from him in sins.
"you understand my thoughts from afar."
Even if I am far from God in sin, he still loves me, he still relates with me, understanding me. Waiting for me. Because he knows too that even if we sin, we still long for him. No one among us is happy being in sin. God knows that we know he is our life, that we cannot stay far from him for long.
"My travels and my rest you mark."
Where are you leading me, Lord? Sometimes I wonder if I am the one following God or is it God following me, watching over me that I always find my way back to him?
I have realized in almost 25 years being a priest, priesthood is more of a direction than a destination. From the school in Malolos to UST and UP for sometime then to Radio Veritas and nine years in a parish, now I am a chaplain in a big university with six campuses and two hospitals. Really, we were not prepared for this, especially myself! But, you are always there, God, leading me, always surprising me that even if you ask me to go anywhere else, I would go even if I have to learn a new language or whatever.
Here I found one thing I have always been remiss with – the need for me to rest in the Lord. To stop like this retreat not only when I have problems or overburdened.
At the end of my first day, my main realizations were -in Filipino as they dawned on me – were, first,
"Mahal na mahal ako ng Diyos.
Hindi lang basta mahal.
Kungdi mahal na mahal."
Secondly, as I prepared to sleep that night with all the lights out, I realized
"Mas nakakatakot maniwala sa Diyos
kesa sa multo kase
ang Diyos ay totoo,
ang multo ay hindi totoo!"
Thank you for your bearing with me. May God touch you, bless you, and heal you! Amen.
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
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