40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Wednesday in the Fourth Week of Lent, 22 March 2023 Isaiah 49:8-15 >>> + <<< John 5:17-30
Photo by author, sunrise at the Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 22 March 2023.
Loving God our Father,
Your words say it all today,
my birthday:
Thus says the Lord: In a time of favor I answer you, in the day of salvation I help you; and I have kept you and given you as a covenant to the people… Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you.
Isaiah 49:8, 15
The Lord is gracious and merciful.
Responsorial Psalm, Ps. 145:8
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC, 22 March 2023.
More than words, dear Father,
I praise and thank you
for your boundless love
and kindness to me all these
58 years!
You have always been present with me,
in me, for me, and through me in Jesus Your Son.
And so, I pray this to you:
Dearest Lord,
you have given me with so much,
I have given you so little;
teach me to give more
of my time and talents,
to give more of my self
so I can give Christ Jesus to others,
especially his love and mercy,
kindness and forgiveness;
empty me of my pride, Lord,
and fill me with your humility,
justice and love.
Amen.
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC, 22 March 2023.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 21 March 2023
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, 20 March 2023, Novaliches, QC.
Thank you for your birthday greetings. I have been on a silent retreat since Monday until Wednesday, my 58th birthday, at the Jesuits’ Sacred Heart Novitiate (SHN) in Quezon City. I usually go on retreats in June when my loads were lighter, when I feel so tired and exhausted, even burned out. Or when I have to make a major decision that I have to discern well.
For the first time, I went on this personal retreat not out of dire needs or even expediencies except that I miss God so much. This is the first time I went on a retreat without problems or issues to resolve. Most of all, without any complaints to God as I told my spiritual director, Fr. Danny Gozar, one of the Jesuits who facilitated our 30-Day Retreat in Cebu in 1995.
Sharing with you some of God’s consolations to me since Monday.
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
It was the feast of St. Joseph last Monday because March 19 fell on the Fourth Sunday in Lent. Right away, God consoled me upon arrival here when the daily Mass was starting. The priest, the Australian novice master of the Jesuits said in his homily that St. Joseph’s mission to give the name “Jesus” to the Child to be born by the Blessed Virgin Mary is also our first task in life which is to witness that “God saves” which is the meaning of the name “Jesus”.
That is when I realized the silence of St. Joseph which is not just being quiet by shutting out all the noise; silence is fulness, trying to listen and discern the sounds within, the sounds that speak of love and kindness, of mercy and forgiveness, of the voice of God also the softest and faintest, telling us to trust him alone and not be bothered with what would happen next.
To be silent like St. Joseph is ultimately to be silent like Jesus on the Cross, wholly trusting the Father, loving us until the end.
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
After lunch, I caught sight of the beautiful statue of Our Lady of Banneux (Our Lady of the Poor) at the side garden. It is one of my favorite prayer spots in this 23-hectare spirituality center in Quezon City. It was a nice spot to think of the many things I am thankful for since 2020 in preparation for my actual prayer blocks later that afternoon. And I had so many things to thank God since the pandemic started. First is the gift of life, that I have survived COVID-19!
The beauty of prayer is how it opens us to so many things about us we were totally unaware of like the gifts God has given us, the blessings he has showered us, the immense love he has for us. I discovered 20 things to be thankful for which I never thought I had and had never even thanked God for them!
That is the giftedness also of the Blessed Virgin Mary as she sang her Magnificat that while all generations shall call her blessed, she remains God’s lowly handmaid (Lk.1:48), remaining poor, an anawim who relies only in the Lord.
Being poor like Mary is being simple and empty for God. May we always be poor in need of God!
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
Fr. Danny directed me to just pray that afternoon until evening Psalm 139:1-18, asking for the specific grace of Mystery, of God himself. And God answered me! I felt his presence and generally, there was the feeling of joy within as I prayed before the Blessed Sacrament.
“You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret…
Psalm 139:13-15
God confirmed my earlier reflections, the things I am thankful to him since 2020.
God designed me personally, he had a purpose in creating me and creating me this way which for so long I have not totally appreciated and liked, wishing I were somebody else, or endowed with so many other talents I so admire in others.
God made each of us so specially, not mass-produced.
He made us so well, almost perfect to reflect his glory. And along this is the need to take care of ourselves.
How can I be a sign of God's glory and majesty even though I am sinner?
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
After supper, I felt longing for God that I went back to the chapel for another hour of prayer. I was a bit distracted, even restless at the start. Indeed, the most difficult prayer is always the most meritorious as I felt a deep intensity in the following passage:
Lord, you have probed me, you know me; you understand my thoughts from afar. My travels and my rest you mark; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, Lord, you know it all.
Psalm 139:1, 2-4
God knows everything about us! There is no hiding from him. But, even if he knows us so well, he does not impose himself on us. Many times, God allows us to open up to him in our own time. Not just in his time. Like when we go astray, when we turn away from him in sins.
"you understand my thoughts from afar."
Even if I am far from God in sin, he still loves me, he still relates with me, understanding me. Waiting for me. Because he knows too that even if we sin, we still long for him. No one among us is happy being in sin. God knows that we know he is our life, that we cannot stay far from him for long.
"My travels and my rest you mark."
Where are you leading me, Lord? Sometimes I wonder if I am the one following God or is it God following me, watching over me that I always find my way back to him?
I have realized in almost 25 years being a priest, priesthood is more of a direction than a destination. From the school in Malolos to UST and UP for sometime then to Radio Veritas and nine years in a parish, now I am a chaplain in a big university with six campuses and two hospitals. Really, we were not prepared for this, especially myself! But, you are always there, God, leading me, always surprising me that even if you ask me to go anywhere else, I would go even if I have to learn a new language or whatever.
Here I found one thing I have always been remiss with – the need for me to rest in the Lord. To stop like this retreat not only when I have problems or overburdened.
At the end of my first day, my main realizations were -in Filipino as they dawned on me – were, first,
"Mahal na mahal ako ng Diyos.
Hindi lang basta mahal.
Kungdi mahal na mahal."
Secondly, as I prepared to sleep that night with all the lights out, I realized
"Mas nakakatakot maniwala sa Diyos
kesa sa multo kase
ang Diyos ay totoo,
ang multo ay hindi totoo!"
Thank you for your bearing with me. May God touch you, bless you, and heal you! Amen.
Photo by author, 20 March 2023, Sacred Heart Novitiate, QC.
More than any other prophet, O Lord,
Hosea is the one who tells us most
of your immense love for us all;
his writing moves like a beautiful
love story so unbelievable
yet exists, so true.
After so many harsh words
against us your people for our
infidelity like prostitutes,
here at the last part of his book,
Hosea tells us to never lose hope
because you love us so much.
Moreover, dear God our Father,
what I like most in Hosea's writings
is how you yourself reveals to us
how we must approach you
like a teacher coaching us
for the best answers so we may pass
your final exam.
Thus says the Lord: Return, O Israel, to the Lord, your God, say to him, “Forgive us all iniquity, and receive what is good, that we may render as offerings the bullocks from our stalls
Hosea 14:2, 3
Please Lord, help us experience
your promises of "healing our defections,
loving us freely, becoming like dew
so we shall blossom like the lily,
our splendor be like the olive tree
and fragrance like the Lebanon cedar,
allowing us to dwell in your shade again
and raise grain, blossom like the vine,
and our fame be like the wine of Lebanon"
(cf. Hosea 14: 5-8).
Cast away our doubts of your love
and mercy for us, Father for as your Son
Jesus Christ had revealed, all the commandments
is summed in LOVE, your great love for us
as the very reason why we must love you
not because you need our love but
so that we can have more of your love
when we love.
May we love,
love,
and love!
Amen.
Lent is the season we fix our eyes to see clearly our selves, God, and others. It is the season where the dictum is “less is more” with no flowers allowed at the altar, only plants and leaves used as decorations. Ideally, images and icons inside the church are covered during these forty days when the Gloria and the Alleluia are also omitted in the liturgy because Lent invites us to look more inside our hearts than outside to find God.
Today’s first reading reminds us the problem with our eyes that lead us to falling into sin like the first woman who was tempted by the serpent into believing that eating the forbidden fruit would open her eyes to know what is good and evil like God. See the interplay of how the fruit was pleasing to the eyes and after they have fallen into the trap of the devil, “the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized that they were naked” (cf. Gen. 3:4-7).
A big part of our temptations to sin happens in how we “see” things, literally and figuratively speaking. In the wilderness during the temptations of Jesus, the devil showed us what he often “sees” that if we follow could lead us into sin. Let us see what Jesus “saw” during those moments of temptations and triumphed over evil.
Detail of mosaic “Temptations of Christ” at St. Mark Basilica, Venice, Italy. Photo from psephizo.com.
At that time Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry. The tempter approached and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become loaves of bread.” He said in reply, “It is written: One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.”
Matthew 4:1-4
First temptation of the devil is for us to see scarcity, to see nothing, to see too little, to see there are not enough that the tendency is for us to hoard and be selfish. But Jesus tells us today even in the barrenness of the wilderness where there was no food nor water, there is always plenty and abundance when we see God.
When we were in elementary school, we were told how food and water would run out in the future with worldwide hunger and thirst happening in apocalyptic proportions. It had never happened. Yes, our natural resources are depleting not because of our normal consumption but largely because of human greed. We see everything so few, not enough for everyone that our tendency is to get more, driving prices up with the poor left to fend for themselves of whatever is left behind.
What we see more is what we do not have, not seeing the beautiful and precious ones we have like family and friends, health and life itself as well as faith in God. There is always the temptation most especially in the midst of difficulties and trials to see everything as ugly and dismal like the first parents after the fall when “they realized they were naked” whereas before, “they felt no shame” because they were good.
Observe how the eyes and the mind are closely intertwined, of how wrong judgments result when our eyes are deceived by what we see or do not see. Look inside your heart when you feel like alone and abandoned or when in the wilderness of sickness and sufferings. See God in everything even in nothingness by reading and praying his words in the Sacred Scriptures and you shall find life and abundance.
Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: He will command his angels concerning you and with their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.” Jesus answered him, “Again it is written, “You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.”
Matthew 4:5-7
Second temptation is when see more of power and entitlement that lead us to becoming like gods.
See the deception of the devil as he brought Jesus to the temple, the house of his Father, making him stand on the parapet to test his obedience and submission to God. It continues to happen to us these days, especially for us priests and bishops, those inside the church like its volunteers and servants, or those who see themselves as devout and pious Catholics who feel entitled here on earth and even in heaven!
No one, not even Jesus Christ claimed any entitlement for being the Son of God. In fact, in his being the Christ, he taught us the importance of submission and obedience always to the will of God our Father.
The first sin was not just pride and disobedience of Adam and Eve. It was a sin rooted in the heart, of feeling so special in paradise, daring to be like God. A feeling of entitlement, of manipulation and control to play like God.
The second temptation of Christ reminds us all supposed to be close to God, his servants to always look and examine our hearts if it is truly God whom we love and follow or just rules and commandments, rites and rituals that we forget the people we are supposed to lovingly serve and care for.
The sad reality in our church is how the devil’s temptation of Jesus is realized among us priests who are being served wrongly, even adored and worshipped by the many people so deceived of the temptation to get close to clergymen or the church. This is the reason why the poor and sufferings are still marginalized because they have remained outside our reach as we all tend to see ourselves being protected by the angels in our positions of power.
Let us all get down from our ivory towers of power, of pride and entitlement especially in the church to begin seeing the poor people on the ground and stop testing God if he would work miracles on them lest we have forgotten we are his arms and limbs.
Then the devil took him up to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in their magnificence, and he said to him, “All these I shall give to you, if you will prostrate yourself and worship me.” At this, Jesus said to him, “Get away, Satan! It is written: The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve.”
Matthew 4:8-10
Third temptation is clearly idolatry, of self-worship, of vanity. See how Jesus told Satan to get away after this third temptation because this is the most insidious as far as Matthew is concerned (in Luke’s version, this is the second temptation).
This third temptation is also very surreptitious which Al Pacino as the devil described in “The Devil’s Advocate” opposite Keanu Reeves as “my most favorite sin.”
We may not be kneeling before strange gods and idols but as Simon & Garfunkel sang in the “Sound of Silence”, so many of us “bowed and prayed on the neon gods we made” with our obsession with signature and expensive things and gadgets, whether original or fake.
It is also the temptation of being famous with our obsession not only with all the beauty augmentations readily available and the fitness craze of some who practically live inside gyms but also with too much living in social media where some have gone crazy counting the likes and reactions they receive in their posts.
See how Jesus won against Satan in all his temptations including in this final one because his focus was on God alone. Jesus is telling us this Sunday as we embark on our Lenten journey to remain in God above all.
Our eyes can be easily deceived because they cannot see everything at one instance. It takes times for us to recognize what or who we are looking at. There are times we need to use instruments to see everything clearly like telescopes and microscopes.
Most of all, what we see may not even be true at all. That is why we have to close our eyes in order to see better, to experience better and understand better like when we are deeply in pain and sorrow or in ecstasy and bursting with joy.
How sad that when Adam and Eve sinned and their eyes were opened, they hid themselves and sewed figs to cover themselves. Today, people go out into the open, even taking pride and not troubled at all in filming or recording and uploading sinful scenes in their lives. And everyone is so glad to take a look on them without realizing how it could lead them into shame like Adam Eve.
Let us heed St. Paul’s invitation in the second reading to live in Jesus so we may show our new humanity in Christ, we who are so loved and forgiven by God and restored to grace. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus alone to fight temptations for we are no longer slaves to our passions and desires like Adam (Rom. 5:12, 17-19). Amen. Have a blessed first week in Lent!
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