Husband & Wife, an Icon of Christ

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 04 June 2024

Here is our second instalment of our contribution in reflecting why divorce should not be allowed because it is against the plan of God and therefore, a sin. Please, we are not judging anyone here.

It is the simple truth that for the longest time people have refused to accept in their hearts that they have continuously sought ways of justifying divorce because right in their hearts, they are the first ones bothered. They had their chance to confront Jesus Christ about it 2000 years ago but the Lord minced no words when He declared the painful truth any pro-divorce would not discuss, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt.19:8).

How sad when articles come out trying so hard to dilute this truth by deliberately interpreting it in their own terms especially the many statements by Pope Francis which he had repeatedly clarified including that of the same sex union.

Most sad is when a news report supposed to present all sides chooses to cite only the questionable teachings of some experts in religion or theology without citing the Sacred Scriptures, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Church documents for official teachings on marriage. Worst, the same report highlighted views of Catholic theologians silenced long ago (may they rest in peace) by the Church for their misleading views on morality!

Divorce is against God’s plan. Marriage is only between a man and a woman as created by God, not invented by any one that is subject to changes or whims. Jesus explained this clearly in the same gospel scene which we shall echo today and forever: “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and he said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mt.19:4-6).

As a creation of God, marriage is a sacrament, a sign of His saving presence in this world in Jesus Christ who had come to reassert this truth. The problem remains the hardness of the hearts of people, especially of those getting married who are so preoccupied with the accidentals of marriage without realizing that they are an icon of Jesus.

My first assignment after ordination in 1998 was to teach at the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos City. We also run an all-girls high school and an elementary school for boys and girls.

Marian was my student from elementary to high school whom I have known so well including her parents. We call our students ICONS, from the initials of our school name. Here are parts of my homily to Marian’s wedding last June 29, 2019 at the Malolos Cathedral.

Congratulations to you, my dearest Marian and Matt!

God willed that you get married today on the Solemnity of St. Peter and St. Paul, the two pillars of the Church established by our Lord Jesus Christ.

Like you, Marian and Matt, St. Peter and St. Paul are two people of opposite personalities, of different social and cultural backgrounds but were able to overcome these to work together for Jesus Christ. We celebrate their feast together because despite their many differences, they were united in their love for Jesus Christ. It was Christ who brought them together and kept them together so his Church would grow and be what it is today.

The same is true with you, Marian and Matt: Jesus Christ brought you together in spite of your many differences to be united in his love. Most of all, Marian and Matt, Jesus wants you to be his ICONS or images in the world today that has become individualistic.

An icon or image of Jesus like St. Peter and St. Paul is to be one in the Lord. A man and woman get married to become disciples of Christ, to become one in Christ, to look like Christ. That is the meaning of the word sacrament, visible sign of the saving presence of Jesus in the world.

And that is why the gospel you have chosen for your wedding day is so perfect, the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus gave us his Beatitudes that are actually directions for discipleship… let us reflect on the sixth Beatitude of Jesus: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God” (Mt.5:8).

Remember the Little Prince where the fox told him that “What is essential is invisible to the eye; it is only with the heart one can truly see”?

We can only see God with our hearts. The intellect alone is never enough.

And so it is with any person.

We can learn and know so many things about another person with our intellect but nothing will be enough for us to truly love him or her unless we let our hearts see the real him or her.

The heart is the wholeness of the person. Yesterday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Sometimes, when we use our minds, we see the world as so dark and so evil. But, if we have hearts that can see, we will be more surprised that there are more goodness, more beauty in this world than what we hear and see in the news and around us.

Marian and Matt, always have a clean heart to see each one’s goodness and beauty.

Always go back to those early days when you first saw each other with your hearts. Aside from the kilig factor, you felt and realized something deeper with each other. The beloved disciple, St. John, wrote in our first reading, “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1 Jn. 4:11-12).

And that is how we see God and others: always with our hearts when we love.

To have a clean heart, Marian and Matt, is to enter into the mind of Jesus Christ and that is to embrace his Cross. Having a clean heart is becoming one with Jesus Christ, especially in his love and fidelity.

A clean heart is a loving heart that always gives life, other-centered, veritable and enduring. Always in communion with Jesus Christ who gave us the new commandment to love like him by being rooted in the Father.

The love of Christ is the fire that purifies and cleanses our hearts, unifying our intellect, will and emotion that enables us to see oneness in ourselves before God. We see not only the good and the bad sides in ourselves but also among those around us, especially those we love.

Look back at your many experiences, Marian and Matt. Look at your past lives, your struggles, your mistakes and sins. Despite all these, you have also seen and experienced God’s loving presence in you in spite of your many darkness and divisions within.

That is why you are so “blessed”, Marian and Matt, because today on your wedding day, you enter God himself and you are able to “see” him with your loving hearts despite your pains and hurt, failures and shortcomings. Keep your hearts clean in Jesus Christ so you may always see God in each other. Amen.
https://lordmychef.com/2019/07/06/husband-and-wife-icons-of-christ/

*Photo by author, Malolos Cathedral 2019.*

My dearest married couples, please do not forget that fact, that reality: you are an image, an icon of Jesus Christ. And what a great honor!

That is why Jesus made His first miracle in a wedding at Cana to show your special place in God’s plan. You have chosen a most difficult kind of life but that is why you chose to get married in the Church – to be blessed by God.

God keeps His promise. Keep yours too! Praying for all couples especially those going through difficulties these days.

Be careful not to fall

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Ninth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 04 June 2024
2 Peter 3:12-15, 17-18 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Mark 12:13-17

*Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD, an orange-bellied flowerpecker (Dicaeum trigonostigma) somewhere in the Visayas, December 2023.*

Therefore, beloved, since you are forewarned, be on your guard not to be led into the error of the unprincipled and to fall from your own stability.
2 Peter 3:17

Your words of caution
through St. Peter are so timely,
Lord Jesus in this time
of discussions and debate
on the proposed law on divorce;
how sad there are some
supposed to be learned and
knowledgeable, seemingly stable
in their positions as teachers
and educators and journalists
calling for more openness
in the discussions
 of moral and social issues
are the ones who are really
closed to their own thoughts
and ideas they have labeled as
progressive and liberal,
insisting their own interpretations
of Scriptures and moral laws;
what is most sad,
even deplorable at times,
is when they cite so many
thinkers without even citing You,
dear Jesus
 regarding Your own words
and teachings
that are clearly against divorce.

Forgive us, Jesus,
when we look so highly
of ourselves,
believing so much
 to whatever we know
like those Pharisees and
Herodians who banded together
to test You;
keep us humble, Lord
with whatever sense of stability
we feel we have or know;
let us grow in grace by constantly
affirming that feeling and
experience of being
loved by God
and most of all,
to grow in Your knowledge
which is to grow in a deeper
and personal relationship
with You.
dear Jesus.

Lord Jesus,
let us not only fall from our
own stability
but most of all.
may we not mislead
others to joining us in
our follies.
Amen.

The key to grace & peace

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Memorial of St. Charles Lwanga & Companion Martyrs, 03 June 2024
2 Peter 1:2-7 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> Mark 12:1-12

*Photo by author, Petra in Jordan, May 2019.*

Praise and glory to You,
God our loving Father!
What a grace from You 
to let us make halfway through 2024
that seemed to have only began
a few months ago!

For some of us, 
the past five months have been
so difficult and this sixth month
is a much needed welcome 
for rest and hoping 
for better things ahead;
for others, may June be
the start of finally fulfilling
those promises we have not kept
all these years
or projects we have not 
finished or have neglected;
please, Father, grant us the
grace and peace we have
always sought in life.

Beloved: May grace and peace be yours in abundance through knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
2 Peter 1:2

Help me realize in
Jesus Christ that great
truth I always forget,
that abundant grace and peace
come only from knowledge
of God which is first of all
a personal relationship
with You, O Lord;
so often like most people,
we pursue so much knowledge
of the world to make life
better but not necessarily
meaningful and fulfilling;
like those tenants at the vineyard,
in our too much knowledge, 
we have taken for ourselves
ownership of the world -
deciding on who is to live, who is to die, 
choosing or creating our own gender,
and worst, destroying the family 
with measures like divorce;
forgive us, God our Father,
in deleting You from the world,
insisting we decide on our fate
and future like those tenants who said 
to one another, "This is the heir.
Come, let us kill him,
and the inheritance will be ours"
(Mark 12:7).

Make us realize like
St. Charles Lwanga and his
over 100 companion martyrs
in Uganda
that knowledge of God 
is more of the heart
than of the head
or the emotions;
that knowledge of God
is doing what is true and good;
that knowledge of God 
is having personal relationship
with You in Jesus Christ
which leads to following
His Way to the Cross
of loving service to others.
Amen.

St. Charles Lwanga,
Pray for us.

The Eucharist: our experience of divinity & unity in love

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ-B, 02 June 2024
Exodus 24:3-8 ><}}}}}*> Hebrews 9:11-15 ><}}}}}*> Mark 14:12-16, 22-26

When I was a teacher-administrator of the Immaculate Conception Schoo for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos during my early years in the priesthood, I used to tell my students that in every first date they would have, always bring their girlfriend to a restaurant because what matters most is not the food and drinks but the moments we share together to know each other.

That’s the spirit behind every gathering we host with family and friends. What we really offer our guests are not food and drinks and desserts but our very selves, expressing to them our desire to be closer and intimate in our relationships as family and friends. When we tell them to have more food and drinks including sending home with tons of “Sharon Cuneta”, we actually share to them our selves as food and drinks in the same manner they nourished us with their coming. That’s Filipino hospitality so known even abroad, so appreciated by foreigners as we see in many reels and TikTok in social media.

Universally speaking, every meal is more than eating and drinking but of togetherness, of deepening of our bonds as family and friends nourishing each other, becoming food and drinks for one another.

It is the same thing the happens in a more complete and perfect manner whenever we celebrate the Holy Eucharist.

By giving us His very self as Body and Blood, Jesus Christ our host in this sacred meal not only nourishes our spiritual and deepest longings but most of all offers us the most intimate communion possible with others and with God. Jesus is the one who makes everything possible for us to be together, calling us to “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest…for I am humble and gentle of heart” (Mt.11:28-30).

On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, when they sacrifice the Passover lamb, Jesus’ disciples said to him, “Where do you want us to go and prepare for you to eat the Passover?” He sent two of his disciples and said to them, “Go into the city and a man will meet you, carrying a jar of water. Follow him. Wherever he enters, say to the master of the house, “The Teacher says, ‘Where is my guest room where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’ Then he will show you a large upper room furnished and ready. Make the preparations for us there.” The disciples then went off, entered the city, and found it just as he had told them; and they prepared the Passover.
Mark 14:12-16

*Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com*

See how Jesus personally prepared everything for their Passover meal when He arranged everything with coded messages like following “a man carrying a jar of water” because at that time, it was the woman who fetched water. You cannot find a man carrying a jar of water unless there is something extraordinary like in our gospel today. And that is how much God loves us, always taking the initiative to meet us, to encounter us, to be closest with us.

It is always Jesus Christ who takes the initiative to meet us and bless us like in the Holy Eucharist. Imagine at the start of the Mass, right away He welcomes us even if we are sinners, granting us pardon even before we have asked forgiveness. In the Eucharist, we receive Jesus Christ personally like the apostles at the Last Supper this time under the signs of bread and wine as His Body and Blood, drawing us closer to Him.

That is what really happens in the sacred meal of the Holy Eucharist, a divine communion!

I tell people that after receiving Jesus in the Holy Communion, speak to Him in the most personal manner, tell Him everything whatever you want, including your cries and complaints. But, like in every meal, listen too to Jesus who has always has something so personal to tell us.

Here we find an essential element in every meal, in every conversation, in a covenant: our responsibility, our response to the offer of our host Jesus Christ. This is the meaning of Moses splashing the blood of the animal offerings to the people in sealing their covenant with God: the blood symbolized life or gift of self, our giving of ourselves to God our Lord. Jesus perfected this in the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist as the Letter of the Hebrews tells us:

Brothers and sisters: When Christ came as high priest of the good things that have come to be, passing through the greater and more perfect tabernacle not made by hands, that is, not belonging to this creation, he entered once for all into the sanctuary, not with the blood of goats and calves but with his own blood, thus obtaining eternal redemption. For this reason he is mediator of a new covenant: since a death has taken place for deliverance from transgressions under the first covenant, those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance.
Hebrews 9:11-12, 15

*Photo by author, Chapel of St. Francis Xavier, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

Here we find the element and essence of sacrifice of Jesus as sacrifice of the Mass. From the Latin words sacra facere that means to make holy or sacred, Jesus offered Himself as a sacrifice for us to make us holy like Him. In the Mass, we do not repeat His sacrifice but makes it present, actual in ourselves.

For us to receive Jesus Body and Blood in the Eucharist, we too give ourselves to Him to become His very presence in the world not only in the community gathered as His mystical Body or Church but most of all, in our union as family and friends like in Marriage. But, remember that the sacrament is not everything. We have responsibilities to nurture, deepen and protect the grace every Sacrament bestows us. What do we give? What do we sacrifice?

My dear friends, that aspect of mortification in sacrifice is accidental. We do not sacrifice or give up something merely to deny ourselves of something good. To sacrifice is not to deprive oneself of life but actually to offer oneself to a higher life. That is why we sacrifice for our loved ones and even for ourselves to achieve our dreams and aspirations. God asks us to sacrifice not because He needs us but in order to make us better, to make us holy, more equipped to keep our end in His covenant. Hence, divorce is contrary to the Eucharist, to the covenant of God.

*Photo by Ka Ruben, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 2022.*

There is no perfect marriage nor perfect couples but every marriage is made in heaven, blessed by God. Problems do happen indeed in many marriages or in life in general but these are of human origins – the hardness of our hearts as Jesus declared, not with the sacrament or with life itself.

Everybody has got to give, has to sacrifice. The best things in life are not free, especially a happy marriage. Or a fulfilling ministry or career or whatever. We have to give ourselves too in the same manner Jesus gave us Himself on the Cross. Problem is we no longer sacrifice in these days of instants that even that most wonderful union of man and woman called marriage is being destroyed by some in the pretext of a solution with divorce.

In celebrating the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ today, we experience the love and unity of God expressed in last week’s celebration of the Blessed Trinity, of how the three Persons in their mutual giving of self to each other outpoured upon us life and abundant blessings.

Like the three Persons bonded in love, we too can achieve that unity with God and with others through the Holy Eucharist when we too learn to sacrifice, assuring us of God’s presence among us in the ordinary instances in life. Experience God in every movement, in every step as He always takes the initiative to meet us, to be with us so we become like Him.

Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ,
You have given me Your total self
in love, Body and Blood
on the Cross and daily in 
the sacrifice of the Mass;
You never asked me to give
myself literally: You merely ask me
to be more loving and kind,
to be more forgiving and merciful,
to be more charitable;
what's more, every good deed 
I am able to do actually comes from You!
I practically just have to be Your lips,
Your hands, Your limbs, Your Body and Blood
and yet, I could not give up myself to You!
Help me Jesus
to learn to sacrifice,
to offer my body,
my total self to You
through the loving service of others.
Amen.

Tenderness of God, sweetness of Mary

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday, Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, 31 May 2024
Romans 12:9-16 ><]]]]'> + >>]]]]'> + >>>]]]]'> Luke 1:39-56

*Photo by author, statues of Mary and Elizabeth at the Church of the Visitation in ein-Karem, the Holy Land, May 2017.*

What a lovely way to end the month with this feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s Visitation of her cousin Elizabeth after starting off May on its very first day with another feast, St. Joseph the Worker that remind us of God’s coming to us in Jesus Christ.

Visit and visitation may seem to be one and the same, sharing the common Latin root word of the verb vide, videre “to see” from which came the word video.

But, a visit is more casual and informal without intimacy at all. We say it so well in Filipino, napadaan lang or just passing by which is more concerned with the place or location and site, not the person there. Napadaan lang ako kaya dinalaw na rin kita (I was just passing by and decided to see you). There was really no intention in seeing the other person there.

*Photo by author, Church of the Visitation, Ein-Karem, Holy land, May 2017.*

Visitation is more intentional. Mr. Webster described it as a more formal visit commonly used in church language like when bishop and priests come to see their parishioners. This explains why we refer to a chapel as a visita which is actually a small church in remote places that missionaries used to visit for the sacraments. Likewise, visitas became venues too for catechism classes and other religious even social gatherings in places far from the town itself where the parish is usually situated too.

Thus, visitation connotes a deeper meaning because there is an expression or implication at least of care and concern among the people, a kind of love shared by the visitor like Mary to the one visited, Elizabeth.

Visitation is more of entering into someone’s life and personhood as reported by Luke in Mary’s visitation of Elizabeth when “Mary entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth” (Lk.1:40). There was a communion and sharing of their common experience of being blessed with the presence of God in their wombs.

Visitation is a sharing, a oneness in the joys and pains of those dear to us. The word becomes more meaningful when we examine its Filipino equivalent pagdalaw from the root word dala or something you bring like food or any gift when visiting relatives and friends. What you bring or dala is called pasalubong from the root salubong that literally means “meeting” or “encounter”. When the visitor and ones visited meet, they salubong.

Here it becomes more colorful and meaningful because more than the gifts we bring or dala in our visitations, we bring our very selves as a gift of presence. In every visitation, it is our very selves we gift, we share with those we visit, offering them our time and talent, joys and sadness and ears and heart to listen to their stories and absorb their woes and whatever they may have to unload upon us.

That was what Mary did exactly in her visitation of Elizabeth with an extra gift, the most precious pasalubong to share with everyone, Jesus Christ in her womb, right in her very self and body!

We too are invited every day to be like Mary, a bringer or taga-dala of Jesus Christ to everyone we meet, the best pasalubong we can share with everyone. If we can only be like Mary in our dealings with others, trying to make every encounter a visitation that is a willful bringing and sharing of Christ with others, then we also bring with us God’s tenderness and mercy for this dark world that admires toughness and roughness.

How sad are those news of daily road rages happening almost everywhere, many times resulting in the loss of lives like the recent fatal shooting of a family driver in Makati.

Through the Blessed Mother’s humility and obedience before God, Christ came into the world to make us experience the Father’s tenderness in the many healings and miracles He performed. This tenderness of God in Jesus we saw too in Mary His Mother in the Visitation: Mary visited Elizabeth because she knew and felt her many wounds who for a long time bore no child, living in “disgrace before others” as she had claimed (Lk.1:25). A tender person like Jesus and Mary is one who comes to comfort and heal the wounds of those hurt in life, trying to lullaby the restless and sleepless, never adding insult to injuries.

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

One last thing about the Visitation of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth. One of the best things we can experience from visitations and visits of family and friends like during wakes and funerals is that quality of sweetness.

Sweetness always goes with tenderness. It is the essence of God who is love. Anyone who loves is always sweet that always comes naturally from within, bringing out good vibes. It is never artificial like Splenda, always flowing freely and naturally that leaves a good taste and feeling to anyone.

In the Hail Holy Queen, Mary is portrayed as “O clement, O sweet Virgin Mary” to show her sweetness as a Mother. Recently I have seen some posts making a meme (?) of the Hail Holy Queen’s part that says “to you do we cry poor banished children of Eve”. I have not really dealt it with much attention because too often, there are a lot of generation gaps in many posts in social media; I really cannot relate much to the young perhaps due to my age. I just hope that post on the Hail Holy Queen is not derogatory. Back to our reflection…

Tenderness and sweetness are the most God-like qualities we all have but have unconsciously buried deep in our innermost selves, refusing them to surface because of our refusal to love for fears of getting hurt and left behind or lost. When Mary heard Elizabeth’s pregnancy, she simply followed her human and motherly instincts that in fact so Godly that she went in haste to hill country of Judah. How lovely!

Tomorrow it is already June, reminding us all we are halfway through the year. And it would be surprisingly quick that soon, it is already Christmas again! This feast of the Visitation reminds us of Mary’s great role in making Christmas a reality when God almighty became human, little and vulnerable like us to experience His sweetness and tenderness in Jesus Christ. Through Mary.

Let us pray:

God our loving Father,
thank for coming to us,
for staying with us,
not just visiting us;
help us imitate Your Son
Jesus Christ's Mother,
the Blessed Virgin Mary
whose "love is so sincere",
loving one another like Elizabeth
with "mutual affection,
showing honor,
fervent in spirit,
serving the Lord;
help us imitate Mary
to always rejoice in hope,
endure afflictions and
most of all, persevere in prayer"
(cf. Romans 12:9-12)
so we may always bring 
Jesus Christ with everyone
we meet.
Amen.

*From cbcpnews.net, 13 May 2022, at the Parish of the National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City.*

Love & Respect in Marriage

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 30 May 2024

*Photo of wedding of my former student Micah with Lery in early 2020.*

As we close May to usher in the “marrying” month of June amid grave threats of a divorce law from Congress, let us reflect on the beautiful aspects of this most wonderful union of man and woman called “marriage”.

For this piece I have based on a previous wedding homily to the younger brother of a good friend, let us reflect on love and respect.

The world owes married couples the finest examples of love and respect. Destroy marriage with divorce, we destroy the very seedbed where everybody learns about love and respect that truly make the “world go round”, a better place to be.

*Photo by author, wedding in San Agustin Church, Intramuros, Manila, January 2024.*

It is in marriage where God plants the earliest seeds of His supernatural gift of love that is why I always insist on this important point first in every wedding I preside: the coming together of every man and woman is a gift from God. It is more than just “liking” the other person or a “trip lang” to get married but a response to a Divine calling every matured man and woman feels deep inside.

Congratulations, Bryan and Catherine!

Our gospel is very clear today with Jesus telling you, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you” (Jn.15:16). In his infinite wisdom, God had planned this day to happen today, not last year or last month nor tomorrow or next month.

Today the Lord had chosen you Bryan and Catherine to tie the knot as husband and wife in this lovely chapel so you would be his witnesses of his immense love for us. You went through a lot of challenges in your love that is a certified “LDR” – you got me thinking for sometime what those letters mean.

As classmates in elementary until you were separated in high school when Catherine and her family moved, you remained friends. When you pursued your dreams in college, the great distance between UP Los Banos and UST in Espana did not keep you away from each other as friends until you realized you love each other that you became sweethearts.

After graduation, Catherine had to move again with her family and this time, thousands of miles away from you Bryan when there were no free messaging apps yet like Messenger and Viber. Bryan had to make those expensive overseas calls while Catherine had to be patient with the unreliable, cheap call cards bought in Asian and Filipino stores in New Jersey.

Thanks very much to Mark Zuckerberg and you had more time seeing each other in social media that your love deepened through time and distance. But, Facebook did not resolve your main issue at that time.

It was Jesus who moved you both to realize that “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (Jn.15:13).
https://lordmychef.com/2019/05/24/love-and-respect-in-marriage/

Love is more than a feeling; it is a decision, a choice we make and affirm every day. Remember, Marriage or any Sacrament is not everything.

God gives us every grace we need in life to be fulfilled but we have the responsibility to take care and nurture His gifts like love so that we mature and grow deeper as persons in our relationships as well. Ben & Ben said it so well in their song “Araw-Araw”: Mahiwaga pipiliin ka sa araw-araw… Mahiwaga ang nadarama sa yo’y malinaw.

Marriage as a sacrament means it is a sign of Christ’s saving presence in the world. It is a love rooted in God; hence, the need for them to pray and celebrate the Mass always. As couples mature in their love, they soon realize their love for each other is a love for Christ, that whatever they do to each other, they do it first to Jesus. The more they love, the more they see their very elves and each other, most especially God in their married life. To love like Jesus is to love the Cross too, a willingness to sacrifice for the beloved. Absence of this kind of love is a clear red flag to either parties who must try to reassess their relationship before saying “I do”.

Both of you Bryan and Cath sacrificed so much to be finally together, today and forever. Married life is not a competition in love, in seeing who loves most. Husband and wife simply love, love, and love. St. Paul said it so well in our first reading, “live in love as Christ loved us” (Eph.5:2a).

To live in love like Christ is to respect one another.

In our gospel, Jesus said “You are my friends if you do what I command you” (Jn.15:11) which is to love like him, giving up one’s self to your friend.

Bryan and Cath, you are now the bestest of friends. In the word “friend” you find a letter “r” that if you remove it, you get the new word “fiend” or enemy, the exact opposite of friend. That letter “r” in “friend” stands for respect which means in Latin “to see or look again”.

Without respect, any love will not grow. Without respect, love withers and dies. Respect deepens our love because in seeing again, in looking back to our loved ones, we remember our vows to always love.
https://lordmychef.com/2019/05/24/love-and-respect-in-marriage/

*Photo by author, Camp John Hay, Baguio City, 12 July 2023.*

How sad respect has become a rarity these days. See how amusing that its Latin root implies looking again, something the pro-divorce are missing these days when they see more of the problems than the persons involved, especially the children.

Love and respect go together. The more love one has, the more respect one has too. The less love one has, the less respect one has too. Is it not the case with this divorce law? How could some even feel less or ashamed when we are one of the few remaining countries in the world where divorce is illegal? Are we not supposed to be proud that we have kept true love alive?

Let me close this piece with the remaining parts of my homily at the wedding of Bryan and Catherine in 2019.

Three things I wish to share with you Bryan and Catherine about respect so you may live in love as the bestest of friends.

First, always look at your very selves, see yourself as the beloved of God.

God makes no mistakes. You are God’s perfect creation as he intended when he created you, Bryan and Catherine. Be proud of who you are even you have lost your hair or have had wrinkles, or gained weight to have so much “love handles” around your waist.

Bryan… Catherine… you are not only one in a million… you are a once in a lifetime.

Catherine, stay true to who you are as a woman. St. Paul never meant in our first reading that the wife must lose her identity in a relationship. Everything and everyone changes for sure, but a healthy marriage will always grow with you and never against you.

When you are apart and not together due to work, always look at each other. Always try to see the other looking at you. That is respect because in that way, you remain faithful to each other and avoid sin.

Second, always look back to your dreams, to your plans and vision in life.

The ideal man finds himself first before he finds his ideal woman, and vice versa. What do I mean? Many people have sights but not all have visions. A visionary is someone who dreams with eyes wide opened. Vision makes us see where we are going and what it will take to get us there. Like the “Mission-Vision” thing you have Bryan in Maynilad.

The moment a man/woman starts to have a vision of himself/herself with a partner in achieving that dream in the future, then he/she has become the ideal husband/wife. When you have a purpose in life and included in that is someone special, even if you have not met him/her yet, then you are the man, you are the woman.

When trials come in your lives Bryan and Catherine, look again into your vision and dreams in life. Start to work for it again with each other, together as one. If you have to start all over again, do so. Together. Pursue your dream and make it come true!

Third, every day, Bryan and Catherine, look again to God. Always see God in your life. Remember the Holy Family how every year they would go to Jerusalem to worship God. When the child Jesus was lost and they could not find him, they went back to Jerusalem and found him in the Temple. Mary and Joseph looked to God to find Jesus and they found him!

When you always look to God Bryan and Catherine, you will also find yourselves and your dreams. In that, you live in love, respecting each other always as gifts from God.

May today be the least happiest day of you life as husband and wife, Bryan and Catherine! Amen.

Please share this with those great couples striving to keep their love, their marriage alive despite the many attacks against this precious gift of God. You may check too my daily blogs of prayers, reflections and homilies, and poetry at http://www.lordmychef.com. Have a great weekend!

*Photo by author, Anvaya Cove, Morong, Bataan, 15 April 2024.*

Becoming a Bartimaeus

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday in the Eighth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 30 May 2024
1 Peter 2:2-5, 9-12 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Mark 10:46-52

Teach us, Jesus,
to be like Bartimaeus;
let us admit our blindness
to what true and good and beautiful
that is YOU;
teach us to be like
Bartimaeus to cry out to
You, Jesus, 
to wait for You always, 
to believe in You as the Only One
who can heal us of our blindness;
most of all,
teach us, Lord,
to leave the side of the streets,
to come to You, Jesus
to the middle of the road
to follow You on the way to
the Cross!

He threw his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus.
Mark 10:50

Forgive us, dear Jesus
for being so afraid,
to confront head on
the many ongoing
debates and attacks
against Your teachings
we hold so dearly
like the value of every person,
the inviolability of human life,
the sanctity of marriage;
forgive us, Jesus
when we hide in being "open"
choosing to be silent
just to accommodate the few
noisy people advocating for
too much rights without any
responsibilities,
speaking about equality
without any regard at all for
God and religion,
spirituality and theology.

Let us be like Bartimaeus
shouting louder than ever
amid calls of some to be silent,
to not insist Your teachings on others
when it is indeed the only one
true and just;
let us be like Bartimaeus
by affirming who we are -
"a chosen race,
a royal priesthood,
a holy nation,
a people of his own,
so that we may announce
Your praises who called us out
of darkness into his wonderful
light"
(1 Peter 2:9).

Have pity on us,
Jesus,
we want to see You
and follow You.
Amen.

What we value most

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Memorial of St. Paul VI, Pope, 29 May 2024
1 Peter 1:18-25 ><}}}}"> + ><}}}}"> + ><}}}}"> Mark 10:32-45

What a lovely Wednesday
we have, God our loving Father
right in the middle of so many 
issues that make us examine our
heart and soul,
what we truly value in this life
as Peter reminds us of how much
You value us so much as a people,
every individual person:

Beloved: Realize that you were ransomed from your futile conduct, handed on by your ancestors, not with perishable things like silver or gold but with the precious Blood of Christ as of a spotless unblemished lamb… You have been born anew, not from perishable but from imperishable seed, through the living and abiding word of God.
1 Peter 1:18-19, 23

Through Your Son
Jesus Christ our Lord,
help us realize dear Father 
these truths and realities 
of Your immense love 
for each one of us
while we waste
and take for granted
the value of human life
especially at its most vulnerable 
stages of infancy and old age
as well as the sanctity of marriage;
enlighten our minds and our hearts,
especially those of our lawmakers
and policy makers,
most of all, 
the masses who are misled by
so many into believing in the need
for contraceptives and abortions,
and divorce.

Forgive us, dear Jesus
for the "hardness of our hearts"
in insisting our own 
rules and laws,
blinded by glory of power
and wealth like the brothers
James and John;
let us heed your call that
"whoever wishes to be great
among you will be your servant"
(Mark 10:43).

In this great period in our history
as a Christian nation when some people
claiming to know more,
claiming to know better
totally disregard facts
and true wisdom from the Spirit
in advocating divorce and other
agenda promoting the "culture of death",
grant us O Lord Jesus Christ
the courage You gave St. Paul VI
to go against the tide by standing firm
on Your truth in upholding human life
by choosing the minority report
"Humane vitae":
St. Paul VI did not mind at all
being maligned and persecuted
even within the Church
for he believed firmly at how You,
O God value every person;
how beautiful that in the end,
You proved him right
when You allowed
St. Paul VI to intercede twice
in the miraculous birth of two babies
recommended by doctors for abortion
due to difficult pregnancy and disability
that eventually paved the way for his
beatification and canonization.

Like St. Paul VI,
let us be rooted in You, O God
as we "dialogue with the modern world"
by leading people to You
in order to find fulfillment
and meaning in life
in the name of Christ.
Amen.

St. Paul VI,
Pray for us!

*Pope Paul VI is seen in this portrait made in early 1969 (CNS photo) via wikipedia.org.*

The “Simon Peter” within us

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Eighth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 28 May 2024
1 Peter 1:10-16 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> Mark 10:28-31

*Photo by author, Simon Peter before Jesus after their bountiful catch in Galilee, May 2017.*

Forgive me Jesus
for being so like Simon Peter,
so irrepressible on many occasions,
saying things without much
thinking and reflection
like in today's gospel
when he bragged to You,
"We have given up everything
and followed you" (Mark 10:28);
let me be aware always that 
all that I have,
whatever good I can do
are all because of You, Jesus;
like Simon Peter,
let me grow and mature 
in my faith in You
when he wrote us today
"be holy yourselves in every
aspect of your conduct,
for it is written, Be holy
because I am holy"
(1 Peter 1:15-16).

Make me holy, Lord,
fill me with Your Spirit
by first emptying me 
of myself, 
of my pride, 
of my insecurities,
of my sins
in order to be filled
with Your Spirit 
so I may truly conform to You
and be Your presence
in the world today;
I know I have not 
given that much yet 
to You through others
for I still think of myself always;
take away whatever 
I still keep and hide to myself
that I am not aware of,
remind me to abandon
and offer everything to You.
Amen.

*12th century mosaic from Sicily of Peter drowning from orthodoxartsjournal.org.*

Is It Any Wonder? by Durand Jones & The Indications (2016)

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 26 May 2024

*Photo by author, San Juan, La Union, 25 July 2023.*

Mysteries are like gifts wrapped so beautifully but not meant to be opened to be explained nor understood; rather, we simply have to let ourselves be wrapped by the gift of life’s mysteries to discover its many gifts that can enrich us in the process.

Just like the mystery of God, His being One in Three Persons called the mystery of the Most Holy Trinity which we celebrate this Sunday. Contrary to common beliefs, mysteries can be explained and understood but, not fully.

Yet, why live explaining and understanding everything?

That is why when God revealed Himself to us, He did not come explaining terms and concepts to us humans and instead conducted Himself in a most unique, personal manner. God related to us in a very personal way like another person by letting us experience His loving presence, His kindness and mercy, His justice and salvation, His healing and liberation as Father, Son and Holy Spirit (https://lordmychef.com/2024/05/25/the-gift-of-persons/).

That is why we have chosen for this Sunday’s music the 2016 Is It Any Wonder? by the American contemporary and R&B soul trio of singer Durand Jones, singer/drummer Aaron Frazer and guitarist Blake Rhein who call themselves as Durand Jones & The Indications. I accidentally discovered them along with other young musicians during the 2020 lockdown of COVID-19 pandemic. Their music is so cool coupled with lyrics so thoughtful. And mysterious. Like Is it Any Wonder? that sounds so matured yet so young, reminding us of our first crushes or first love when we got so lost in what to do and say whenever near the girl of our dream.

This road
Is gonna take us back now
You look so fine
I don't know how to act now
They say, "My child
Don't stroll off easy
'Cause when it's time
You gonna hear what she said"

Is it any wonder?
Is it any wonder?

If you ever leave me alone
I'll be cryin', wishin' you'd come home

When I look in your eyes
I see you starin' at me, girl
And when it's time
I see you holdin' on me, girl

'Cause you
You got a hold on me, yeah
So, I'm
Gonna make you see, yeah
Aw, yeah

Is it any wonder?
Is it any wonder?
Is it any wonder?
Is it any wonder?

With its classic tune and laid-back beat of guitar, drums and horns in the KEXP live version we prefer, Is It Any Wonder? speaks so well of life’s many mysteries that wrap us and move us at the same time to greater heights in believing more and loving more. Very often when we meet people, our tendency to welcome them is a result of their conduct with us, like this girl in the song Is It Any Wonder? Is she warm or cold, inviting or reserved and closed?

See how the song speaks so little – but heavily – of his experiences with his crush, leaving everything into wondering and awe, repeatedly singing, Is it any wonder?

To wonder, to be awed like a child is the beginning of love, of discovery of God and of the other person who fills the emptiness and longings within us. That is the gift of person, of God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – there is always that mystery we can’t explain right away but we feel disarmed, wondering why we are drawn to God and others because of their conduct, of their kindness, of their offer of relationship. The key is to always wonder and bask into the beauty and gift of the other person, especially of God. Have a relaxing rainy Sunday!

From YouTube.com.