The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 09 July 2024 Hose 8:4-7, 11-13 ><))))*> + <*((((>< Matthew 9:32-38
Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to sent out more laborers for his harvest” (Matthew 9:38).
Lord Jesus, teach us to examine again the meaning of your words "the harvest is abundant" - how do we look at, what do we see at this abundant harvest of your people, "troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd"?
What do we see at your flock, at your people?
Forgive us, Lord Jesus, when we are like the wayward kings of Israel of Hosea's time who misled the people away from God; what an abundant harvest laid to waste by corrupt and sinful laborers some of whom were never sent by God while others turned away from God.
Forgive the laborers among us who see the abundant harvest more as a business venture, a shameful tourist attraction for the display of our delusions of grandeur; forgive us, Lord when some of us your laborers label others as troublemakers, as oppositionists, even daring to call declare others using the power of the devil like You!
Nothing much had changed since the time of Hosea and your time, Lord Jesus: your abundant harvest wasted by selfish laborers who see only themselves and their well-being instead of seeing your people as a gift and a responsibility entrusted to our care; help us, O Lord, to value your abundant harvest meant for your greater glory not ours. Amen.
Love is more than a feeling; it is a decision we make and renew daily especially when expressed in marriage. It is indeed very difficult but the most wonderful thing about being human. That is the reason why the first miracle of Jesus happened at a wedding in Cana and not in any festivity in the temple or a synagogue.
When couples love and keep that love alive, they level up in their existence, becoming holy like God because love, after all, is a gift from God. To be holy in a state of life is not being sinless but simply being filled with God, being open to God, to His surprises in order for us to believe in Him more and continue to love more.
Do not let divorce thwart this beautiful gift and plan of God to many men and women He calls to share in His love in marriage. Divorce will never solve the problems of married couples as it does not consider the spiritual and deeper human aspects of married life. Divorce is just intent on ending marriage that eventually result to more problems especially to the children.
Here is our sixth wedding homily exactly a year ago when my nephew Immi exchanged “I do” with Pat at the Manila Cathedral. We hope this may lead others to a deeper appreciation of marriage being a gift from God we have to care and protect.
All praise and thanksgiving to God our loving Father for this day, Immi and Pat! This is the day God had set to be your wedding day. Not last year, not next month nor any other day except this seventh day of July 2023.
Jesus Christ said in our gospel today, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you” (John 15:16).
Surprised? Yes, Immi and Pat, you have both felt God surprising you many times since you met each other, mysteriously weaving your lives seamlessly together that today you are before Him at this altar to pledge your love for each other.
That is what I wish to share with you this afternoon: keep that element of surprise in your lives together, Immi and Pat. Never lose that sense of wonder because it is when we are surprised that we start to believe; when we believe, we get closer and then we love. The more we love, the more we are surprised and the more we believe until that love matures into more than feelings but a decision and commitment to love until death.
Hindi ba, Immi and Pat, that is why you are here today because you have finally decided to grow together in this love because you believe in each other and most of all in God?
There were many occasions you were both surprised at the twists and turns in your lives as individuals, beginning at how you got to know each other in the office.
Hindi naman love at first sight iyon. Hindi nga kayo magka-type pareho kaya nag-aasaran kayo palagi.
Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte, Atok, Benguet, 01 September 2019.
You were opposites but the more you were surprised in discovering new things about each other, the more you gravitated to each other, the more you believed in each other, surprisingly realizing that actually, you are not opposites but shared a lot in common.
That’s when you became good friends caring for each other, conversing more often with topics getting deeper like plans and views in life until one day, Pat had so much of these surprises as she juggled many things in her life and asked to speak with you, Immi, to avoid confusion and complicate things further in your friendship.
Wala pa siyang sinasabi maliban sa “mag-usap tayo” and you just told her, “Let’s go out on a date”.Iyon na yun! Kayo na! Dehins na hangout, date na. Wow, tamis!
The problem in our time is that everything, everyone is exposed. Even overexposed!
With social media all around us, everything is shown and displayed for all to see, leaving no room at all for surprises.
Many people these days want everything to be certain. Lahat segurista na ngayon.
No more surprises, no more faith because many of us have stopped believing. Remember, “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). That is why, when we are surprised, we believe; as we believe more and get surprised more, we love.
Immi and Pat, always have faith, believe and be surprised with each other and with God.
The world tells us, “to see is to believe” but our faith teaches us, “believe so that you would see.” Remember when Jesus told Thomas a week after Easter, “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed “(John 21:29b)?
Keep that childlike attitude in you of being surprised always, of having that sense of awe and wonder. That is why kids believe and trust always.
Photo by author, 2019.
Being surprised is being open with the simple realities of life, of the joys of being alive and sharing this life with a special someone in love. Being surprised is being open to getting hurt because we believe there is that special someone who would always take care of us, with whom we can be our true selves no matter what. Being surprised is being open to the realities and ecstasy of loving and of being loved in return. Being surprised is believing in God who is a God of surprises because he loves us so much.
In the Book of Genesis, we find Jacob falling asleep at Bethel with a stone as his pillow, dreaming of a stairway to heaven. It was so good because he saw God and his angels ascending and descending the stairway to heaven that upon waking up, Jacob had that sense of wonder and awe, “Truly the Lord is in this spot, although I did not know it!” (Gen.28:16). Jacob was surprised. Then he believed. And loved and served God. In 1971, we heard Jimmy Page and Robert Plant singing, “makes me wonder” over and over in their hit Stairway to Heaven.
But, Edith Piaf said it best in 1946, of how she was surprised in finding love with her classic song La vie en rose. No, I will not sing it but will just read it to remind you God’s many surprises for you, Immi and Pat.
I thought that love was just a word They sang about in songs I heard It took your kisses to reveal That I was wrong, and love is real
Hold me close and hold me fast The magic spell you cast This is la vie en rose
When you kiss me heaven sighs And though I close my eyes I see la vie en rose
When you press me to your heart I’m in a world apart A world where roses bloom And when you speak, angels sing from above Everyday words seem to turn into love songs
Give your heart and soul to me And life will always be La vie en rose.
Immi and Pat, God has a lot of surprises for you. Remain faithful with each other, remain faithful to Jesus Christ who has called and chosen you. Have Christ always between you in your relationship. Pray, believe and have trust in Him so you both would see more surprises, more life, more love in your married life. God bless you, Immi and Pat! Amen.
For those wishing to listen and perhaps use this classic piece, here is its English version.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 08 July 2024 Hosea 2:16,17-18, 21-22 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 9:18-26
Thus says the Lord: I will allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak to her heart… I will espouse you to me forever: I will espouse you in right and in justice, in love and in mercy; I will espouse you in fidelity, and you shall know the Lord (Hosea 2:16, 21-22).
Praise and glory to You, God our loving Father! Lead us back to You, lead us back to the desert - to that state of dryness, of emptiness, of nothingness for us to find and experience You again; lead us to the desert, Father, for us to feel our heart again that You are our first love after all!
Forgive us, Father, when life is in abundance we are filled of our selves we forget You and others; when life is affluent, we disregard what is right and just, we become so greedy with nothing enough; when life is going on smoothly without problems, we disregard love and mercy as we see more of things than persons as we veer away from You, sinking into infidelity, not knowing You.
I do not ask for too much pain and suffering; just something enough to knock our heads like that father in the gospel and woman suffering hemorrhages for 12 years who both felt so isolated from the rest like in a desert to realize there is only You in Jesus Christ to restore us back to life, back to community, back to our real selves and back to You. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 07 July 2024 Ezekiel 2:2-5 ><}}}}*> 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ><}}}}*> Mark 6:1-6
Photo by Mr. Gelo Carpio, Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan, January 2020.
Last week’s readings clarified with us the disturbing mystery of death and sickness are not from God but from the evil enemy. Nothing bad could come from God who is love Himself that is why He sent us Jesus Christ to heal and save us. Should something bad happen to us, God works silently to ensure everything would turn out good for us. Hence, the need for faith.
Today our readings clarify another mystery in life that happens so often that we encounter daily despite our efforts and sacrifices, demanding us for more faith too. It may be lighter than death or tragedies but still a kind of suffering that is most persistent, even troublesome we refer to as failures like rejections and other weakness we have as humans.
Jesus departed from there and came to his native place, accompanied by his disciples. When the Sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished… And they took offense at him (Mark 6:1-2,3c).
Photo by author, 2023.
Mark tells us today how our Lord Jesus Christ embraced failure and rejection. Though perfect and powerful, Jesus chose to be weak and powerless, experiencing rejections so that we may become like Him, holy and divine.
If we go by the world’s standard, Jesus and His mission were actually a “failure” after He was rejected by the crowds, shamed and crucified along with two other criminals. But, it was in that failure that Jesus rose again on Easter!
See that small detail Mark noted so well in his story this Sunday, “they took offense at him (Mk.6:3c).” It is that classic case among us humans we say so well in Filipino, “walang personalan, trabaho lang”. Everything is personal because we are all relating beings. Every rejection is personal. However, Jesus is teaching us too that rejection and failures become a problem when we are not able to accept them as a part of our weaknesses as humans.
Photo by author, 2019.
Of course, it is painful. And that’s the good news this Sunday – Jesus is with us in every failure and rejection we go through as He joins us in crossing this life right in our own home and among our own people with all the negative things they throw on us. Jesus must have felt sad too when His own folks “took offense at him.” Rejection is humiliating as we feel to have failed in life. Or worst, as if we are a failure. Even that simple act of being “unfriended” in Facebook is painful, is it not?
However, when we examine failures and rejections, these are not really about us but more on those around us, on those “who took offense at us” that like Jesus, we really can’t perform anything at all because those around us lack faith and not that we are powerless or could not do anything at all.
This Sunday, Jesus is telling us not to take every failure and rejection personally though it is really very personal. See the other sides of failures in life as these are not really that bad at all! Oftentimes, we are not the problem but those who reject us. Have a heart. Stop those self-pity. Next Sunday after this rejection in Nazareth seen by the Twelve, Jesus would even send them to preach and heal;surely, part of their mission was to face rejection first hand too.
Photo by author, 2023.
Once again, Mark is revealing to us who is Jesus Christ really – truly Divine, the Son of God who spoke with authority, who could heal the sick and raise the dead but at the same time, truly human who embraced rejections and failures, even becoming “powerless” that would reach its highest point on Good Friday.
And to know Jesus more is to have that deep faith in Him which is most essential like a hinge connecting us to Him and other virtues. Even God cannot do anything at all if we do not have faith in Him, if we do not believe Him. Jesus had said this a few weeks ago when He mentioned the sin agains the Holy Spirit. We can’t even talk of any relationships unless we have faith from which springs love and understanding.
Most of our failures and pains in life came from this lack of faith in our family like mistrust among husband and wife or among children and parents. Failures begin when we refuse to believe or have faith in our very selves, with others, and with God. When people lack faith, we have no relationships, no common ground to start anything like simple conversations and dialogue that is more of being with others than a way of thinking through issues and problems.
Photo by author, 2022.
Lately I have been going through some serious reflections in life as friends and colleagues in my former work and past ministries are retiring and getting sick with some of them dying. One thing I have realized is that no one is really so good, so brilliant because each one of us has imperfections and limitations.
The best managers and pastors I have met and known are those who knew so well how to gather and inspire the best people to work together.
Most of all, when I look back to these great men and women who have taught and formed me in school and work, their most outstanding trait is their courage to be imperfect. They do not hide their fears and failures, insecurities and mistakes that they were able to see more of what is possible than impossible because they believed in God, in themselves and in others.
Faith is infectious like disbelief or unbelief. Better choose faith which leads us to life. See how the men and women in the Church who have become saints like St. Paul along with the many statesmen, thinkers, writers, and scientists who were able to shape and change the world by being courageous enough to be imperfect due to their faith.
Photo by author, Malagos Garden Resort, Davao City, 2018.
God knows our limitations and weaknesses; most of all, our sinfulness yet, He never loses hope in us that He continues to call us to be converted, even sending us prophets who at the start are already aware of the failures and rejections they would face in such difficult mission.
This is one important aspect we priests have forgotten or disregarded – the courage to be imperfect as we always play God. Nobody’s perfect except God; the challenge in this life is to overcome every failure and defeat we encounter for that is how we are perfected. Remember that term “blessings in disguise” that are our many imperfections in life.
When facing a failure in life, the best thing to do is to be silent and to pray, be the presence of God like the prophets, “And whether they resist— for they are a rebellious house — they shall know that a prophet has been among them” (Ez.2:5). After all, God’s “grace is always sufficient” for us because “power is made perfect in our weaknesses so that when we are weak, then we are strong in Christ Jesus” (1Cor.12:9,10).
During His lifetime here on earth, Jesus was “amazed” only twice. First was when a Roman centurion asked Him to cure his slave from afar, saying “I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the words and my servant will be healed.” Jesus was “amazed” that He cured the servant from afar, declaring that He had not seen such great faith in Israel (Mt.8:5-13). The other time Jesus was amazed was when He returned home narrated in our Gospel this Sunday when people “took offense at him” that “He was amazed at their lack of faith” (Mk.6:3,6).
When Jesus comes, would He be amazed with our great faith, or with our lack of faith?
Be amazed. Choose Jesus, choose faith in Him, the Christ! Let us pray:
Lord Jesus Christ, thank You for always believing in me despite my sins and many flaws; remind me always I am not You, and therefore, imperfect and weak; keep me faithful and persevering in You, crossing the turbulent sea of life, helping others cross to make it through to the side of life; let me your voice of hope and your presence in this world fascinated with anything that glitters and sparkles, afraid of the dark, of emptiness, of failures, of faith. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II First Friday in the Thirteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 05 July 2024 Amos 8:4-6, 9-12 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 9:9-13
Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD in Infanta, Quezon 2020.
Help us,
loving Father
to be prophetic
in our lives, to speak
and live according to your
words and precepts,
witnessing your truth
and justice, boldly speaking
against the evil pervading among us.
How easy,
O God,
for almost everybody today
to speak strongly about truth
without being prophetic at all
like the Pharisees who saw Jesus
dining with sinners and asked his
disciples: "Why does your teacher
eat with tax collectors and sinners?"
(Matthew 9:11); many of them are
still among us these days
who avail of every modern
communication platform aided
by the age-old tradition of corruption,
championing the truth everywhere
when in fact are subverting
decency, honesty and sincerity
because they are actually
a manipulator or what a song
labeled as "smooth operator"
"whose eyes are like angels
but his heart is cold."
Forgive us, Father, for the many times we have joined these smooth operators among us because we have benefitted from their excesses, trampling further the dignity of many especially the poor and voiceless; forgive us, Father, for those times we pretended to be prophetic, acting and speaking to be the virtuous ones as we project others as sinners especially those not on our side.
Teach us to be like Amos, Father, a prophet who spoke and lived out your words like Jesus who confronted the powerful and abusive among us, insisting that being prophetic is not what humans want but what God desires always which is mercy. Amen.
*Can't resist sharing Sade's 1984 hit "Smooth Operator" that inspired us too in our prayer-reflection today.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Thursday in the Thirteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 04 July 2024 Amos 7:10-17 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 9:1-8
Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima, GMA-7 News in Batanes, 2018.
Oh how I love the gospel this week, Lord Jesus Christ, showing how often You have crossed the vast lake of Galilee to reach everyone; You continue to do so these days, helping us cross the turbulent seas and chaotic streets of life that are so stressful, so heavy with burdens, always with various forms of sufferings; without You, we could have not made it this far. Thank You, Lord Jesus!
Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News in Batanes, 2018.
Help us, Jesus, do the same as You send us daily to help others cross this life to safety and security in You, to fullness and light in You; like the Prophet Amos, let us dare to cross and leave our comfort zone to speak your words across other territories, especially those hostile to You and your values of love and justice, kindness and mercy; give us the courage to speak up for those silenced and weak due to poverty and sickness; let us be your mouthpiece and presence especially when everyone feels contented with mediocrity and sin.
Amos answered Amaziah, “I was no prophet, nor have I belonged to a company of prophets; I was a shepherd and a dresser of sycamores. The Lord took me from following the flock, and said to me, ‘Go prophecy to my people Israel'” (Amos 7:14-15).
Let your words, O Lord, refresh my soul for they are perfect while your decrees are trustworthy, giving wisdom to those who simply obey You; let me not be distracted by what others say as I dare to cross to your side of life and truth, justice and mercy for others. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 03 July 2024
Photo from The Valenzuela Times, 02 July 2024.
Honestly… how did you react to this photo published yesterday afternoon after that flash flood at McArthur Highway in Valenzuela City? Do you find it funny? Did you hit the LOL emoticon? Why?
Am I that old and conservative, or prudish, or, is it merely a simple case of generation gap that I felt sad and surprised at how almost everyone in social media last night laughed at this photo? At least, some were sincere enough to admit being jealous as they exclaimed “sanaol” but, why all the laughter?
It is better expressed in our Filipino language – pinagtawanan (laughed at) which is a world apart from nakatutuwa (joyful sight).
What is so funny if a man would carry his girlfriend on his back for her not to get wet or soaked in the flood?
So gentlemanly in fact, hindi ba? Should we not be glad that there are still knights in shining armor these days?
Others simply described it as OA or “overacting”. Maybe…
The photo is a modern gospel, a good news in this age when chivalry is said to be dead. It is so much similar with last Sunday’s gospel that said “Jesus had crossed again in the boat to the other side” (Mk. 5:21), after they went through a turbulent squall crossing the Lake of Galilee the other week. What a beautiful story last Sunday of Jesus crossing again and again not only the treacherous lake but so often crossed the streets and valleys and mountains to reach out to those sick and lost and even dead to bring them all to the side of grace and life (https://lordmychef.com/2024/06/29/jesus-crossed-seas-streets-to-lead-us-to-the-side-of-life-again-again/).
My post last night…
I love that word “cross” from which came crossing; the former if spelled with a capital C refers to the Cross of Jesus Christ that also means our daily sufferings and difficulties in life we have to accept and embrace while the former refers to the street intersection where pedestrians cross.
Every day Jesus comes to help us cross the streets of this life filled with many pains and sufferings, trials and hardships. Jesus help us cross these busy and stressful streets of daily life for us to get to the side of life and fullness through those willing to suffer and sacrifice like this student in the photo.
How sad that when someone is willing to sacrifice for a loved one, when someone is willing to help others cross the street, whether it is flooded or not that people nowadays laugh at them, calling them OA.
We are not judging anyone.
Maybe we just have to reassess ourselves daily especially in our overexposure to social media and its gadgets that have alienated us from realities of life and from being human, being a person who is a subject to be loved and cherished than object to be possessed and laughed at.
How sad that with too much media, we no longer have that feel and experience of realities.
Go to any wedding or whatever kind of ceremony and parade to see how people are foolishly glued to their camera screens recording the events without experiencing the moment at all!
That gentleman carrying his girlfriend on his back is a good news for us today that Christ is still with us in this modern age. Unfortunately, it seems that like what happened 2000 years ago, there are still some who still want Him crucified for being good and kind, even OA, with others. Have a blessed day. We’d like to hear from you too… thank you!
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Wednesday, Feast of St. Thomas, Apostle, 03 July 2024 Ephesians 2:19-22 <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> John 20:24-29
From the the Catholic Diocese of Little Rock, Arkansas, dolr.org.
Praise and glory to You, God our Father for your gift of the Church, the Body of Christ built on the foundation of the Apostles as a community of faith, hope, and love!
Thank You for the gift of St. Thomas also known as Didymus; though he was not present on the evening of Easter when the Risen Lord appeared to his fellow disciples, he joined them eight days later to be with them, most especially with Jesus; what a beautiful gesture of him who could not believe of the Resurrection; what a gift of courage for him to submit himself to actual tests to prove to himself that Jesus had risen; most of all, his goodwill to be one in communion with his brother Apostles and Lord Jesus.
Brothers and sisters: You are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the holy ones and members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the Apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the capstone. Through him the whole structure is held together and grows into a temple sacred in the Lord, in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit (Ephesians 2:19-22).
Let us keep those words of St. Paul, dear Jesus, "Through him the whole structure is held together and grows into a temple sacred in the Lord, in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit": what will happen if we destroy this communion in You and with You through one another? What could have happened if St. Thomas remained adamant with his "doubts" and never came to join the other Apostles on that eighth day after Easter?
Caravaggio’s painting “The Incredulity of St. Thomas” (1602) from en.wikipedia.org.
Lord Jesus Christ, teach me to have the healthy doubts of St. Thomas, to dare test himself, not You nor others, to find You, the Truth; grant us the humility to accept and embrace not only your wounds but also those wounds of our fellow disciples because the twofold communion with God and with one another is inseparable - wherever communion with God in the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit is destroyed, the root and source of our communion with each other is destroyed too; whenever we do not live communion among ourselves, communion with God is not alive and true either. Like St. Thomas, enlighten us with your light and truth, Jesus, to see you among one another to live in communion. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday in the Thirteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 02 July 2024 Amos 3:1-8, 4:11-12 <'[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Matthew 8:23-27
Photo by author in San Juan, La Union, 25 July 2023.
Your words are weighty and terrifying today, O God as You left us with a warning - "prepare to meet your God, O Israel" (Amos 4:12); how must we prepare to meet You, O God, whom we have turned away from so often in the past? How must we prepare to meet You, O God, whose voice we have never heeded despite our hearing them?
Let us learn from nature who heeds your voice like the storm and the waves in the sea becoming quiet at Jesus Christ's command; let us learn to accept the simple laws of nature governing this world, of simply following the cause and effect pattern in everything instead of destroying it for in the end, it shall get upon us:
Do two walk together unless they have agreed? Does a lion roar in the forest when it has no prey? Does a young lion cry from its den unless it has seized something? Is a bird brought to a snare when there is no lure for it? Does a snare spring up from the ground without catching anything? If the trumpet sounds in a city, will the people not be frightened? If evil befalls a city, has not the Lord caused it? (Amos 3:3-6)
For so long, You have been most patient with us, Lord, letting us go on our own sinful ways despite all the love and graces You have showered us; You are all good, loving Father, full of mercy and forgiveness for our sins but lest we forget, there are so many sinful things we do with irreversible consequences that can unfree us, making us suffer from its dismal effects. This we pray we may realize so that when we meet You, O God, there may be justice still left for us. Amen.
Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.
We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.
Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.
There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.
Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.
My dearest Gracie and Chino:
Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.
Disregard God.
Stop believing in God.
Live as if there is no God.
Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.
Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.
Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”
Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.
Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.
In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.
Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.
Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.
Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.
Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.
Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.
There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!
You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.
Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.
When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.
With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.
Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.
Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.
Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.
With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.
Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.
You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.
My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.
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