The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II First Friday, Fourth Week in Ordinary Time, 07 February 2025 Hebrews 13:1-8 ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> Mark 6:14-29
Photo by Mr. Gelo Carpio Nicolas, January 2020.
Keep me faithful and true to you, Jesus because you are "the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8); it is I who forgets all the time, who chooses to turn away from you and be unloving, unkind, unforgiving.
Forgive me, Jesus when you tell me "Let brotherly love continue" (Hebrews 13:1)....
...but many times I can't look or even consider each one a brother or a sister because of our many differences.
"Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels" (Hebrews 13:2)...
...I think, more than the angels but on many occasions it was you whom I have turned away, Jesus because I am so suspicious of others who come to me for whatever needs.
"Be mindful of prisoners as if sharing their imprisonment, and of the ill-treated as of yourselves, for you are also in the body" (Hebrews 13:3)...
I'm sorry, Jesus for the many times I have imprisoned others in my narrow mind of many biases and prejudices.
"Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled" (Hebrews (13:4)...
what a shame, Jesus in our age when marriage is no longer honored and just taken for granted with many couples defiling their bed.
"Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have" (Hebrews 13:5)...
alas! my dearest Jesus, save us your priests our diocese so in love with money, with the rich and powerful with whom we are so close and identified with, totally neglecting the poor and the suffering among us with our many excuses and alibis, always at their beck and calls.
Yes, Jesus, many times we feel like Herod: bothered only by the gospel, bothered only of your presence among the poor and suffering but so much like Herod, we never bothered ourselves to truly find you and follow you. Amen.
Photo from Wikipedia, mosaic of Jesus with Mary and John the Baptist at the Hagia Sophia in Turkey.
A wedding homily for Sir Vicente R. Santos III & Ms. Jillian Bianca Carpio St. Michael the Archangel Parish, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig, 12 July 2024 Tobit 8:4b-8 >><}}}}*> + <*{{{{><< John 15:9-12
Photo by author in La Trinidad, Benguet, 12 July 2023.
Congratulations, Sir Teng and Mam Jill on your wedding day. Your decision to get married in the Church is an expression of love itself because love is a decision, not just a feeling. Making a decision to get married is a choice to be small, to be broken into pieces to be united, to be one with the other person, your beloved.
Every time we make that decision to love, we renounce our very selves, our selfishness. The truest sign that we love is when we are able to love somebody more than our self; and to grow in love is to always choose the other person by a daily renunciation of one’s self which Ben&Ben sang so well, “Mahiwaga… pipiliin ka sa araw-araw…”
Photo by author, Camp John Hay, 12 July 2023.
This we saw in our first reading in the beautiful prayer by Tobiah with Sarah on their honeymoon when he mentioned God’s original plan in Genesis in creating woman as a suitable partner of man.
The root word of “partner” is part. A part is always small that makes up the whole. Every whole is made up of small parts.
A part-ner means you are both a part of each other and you both have to be small in order to be whole as married couple.
In that beautiful story of Tobiah and Sarah, we find them choosing to become small in order to become part of the bigger whole, of each other, and of God.
Tobiah is the son of Tobit who lived in exile in Nineveh, the capital of Assyria that had conquered Israel in the Old Testament. Tobit used to be wealthy but had a reversal of fortunes later in life made worse with his going blind. He sent his son Tobiah to Media to collect a debt from a fellow Jew with hopes he could also find there a bride for himself among their kindred.
God then sent Archangel Raphael who disguised as a traveler to Tobiah who was so kind to welcome him as companion. On their way to Media, Tobiah was attacked by a large, strange fish while taking a bath at the Tigris River. Tobiah was able to subdue the creature while Raphael instructed him to take out its heart, liver and gall due to its medicinal properties. Tobiah obeyed Raphael and they proceeded to Media to collect the debt owed to his father. There he met and fell for a Jewish woman named Sarah.
But, there was a major problem with Sarah: she had been widowed seven times because the devil Asmodeus would always come and kill her husband just before their honeymoon!
Engraving of Raphael instructing Tobiah to gut the fish by Georg Pencz (1543) from en.wikipedia.org.
Raphael pushed Tobiah to still marry Sarah, teaching how to drive away the devil Asmodeus on their honeymoon by burning the heart and liver of the strange fish he had killed. Tobiah followed Raphael’s instructions and Asmodeus was finally driven away that is why we have this scene of them praying in thanksgiving for their marriage. (This is the reason St. Raphael is portrayed with a fish and why arbularyos burn fish intestines to drive away evil spirits.)
Tobiah returned home to present his wife Sarah to his parents in Nineveh; Raphael again instructed Tobiah to apply the dried gall of the fish onto the eyes of his father Tobit to regain his sight. Amid their celebrations for Tobit’s healing and Tobiah’s marriage, Raphael revealed himself as God’s archangel sent to them to bring their healing which is the meaning of the name Raphael, “God has healed”.
See how Tobiah and Sarah, as well as Tobit even Archangel Raphael chose to be small and humble before God and everyone, to play mere parts in the grand plan of God in their lives. They were all willing to be humble and small.
Photo by author, St. Michael Archangel Parish, BGC, Taguig City, 12 July 2024.
Sir Teng and Mam Jill, you were sent for each other by God like St. Raphael to Tobiah and Sarah and Tobit. Handle your life with prayer. Always invite Jesus into your life as a married couple just like today you when you invited Him to bless your wedding. Do not forget to celebrate Mass every Sunday, to pray daily, as much as possible together as husband and wife.
True greatness is in becoming small like a little child as Jesus Christ repeatedly told His disciples. In this world where we compete on being the biggest and most powerful, God tells us the key to fulfillment is in being small, being humble, to become a part of the whole. The greatness of every person depends on the measure of his or her ability to share because it is only in participating in the whole does one becomes truly great.
Marriage is becoming small to become one. Husband and wife cannot be one unless they let go of themselves first. Marriage is not a competition of who has more love to give and share but simply of loving and loving, giving and giving.
When you reflected Sir Teng on what to do with your life and realized you will never be complete without Mam Jill, that is being small, that is truly loving because you are willing to let go of yourself to be a part of Jill.
Remember, there’s no perfect husband nor perfect wife but you can be the ideal husband, the ideal wife by forgetting yourself through daily conversion in Jesus Christ who gave His total self out of love for us. And you do not have to die on the cross literally, Sir Teng and Mam Jill.
Sir Teng, the ideal husband is someone who is deaf. Bingi. You know how women are. They talk a lot as they remember everything in detail even from long, long time ago. The moment Mam Jill starts talking, play deaf. So you don’t quarrel or debate.
Mam Jill, the idal wife is someone who is blind. Bulag. Problem with women is you see everything, kahit wala naman, may nakikita pa rin mga babae. When you see something with Sir Teng, play blind. Wala yun. Mabait siya talaga.
You two were brought together by your love for the French language. Every language is made up of small parts called letters used to form words put together in a sentence to express a thought or a feeling so we can communicate.
But, “communication is more than the expression of one’s thoughts and feelings; at its most profound level, it is the giving of self in love like Jesus Christ on the Cross” (Communio et Progressio #11)… just like every husband and wife too.
So, be small, Sir Teng and Mam Jill for you to remain in love, to grow in love, and be great in love. Amen.
It is very disappointing that the recent statement of the CBCP on divorce was so unusually soft, trying to balance everything like walking on a thin line, very cautious of not stepping on whoever’s feet or hurting their feelings.
What is most sad is how this statement so watered down unlike the bishops’ previous pronouncements in the last elections supporting a candidate. It is so frustrating for us Catholics when our bishops have repeatedly crossed boundaries getting into partisan politics supporting many election candidates when on this part of our nation’s history they are tepid in standing by the Lord’s flock under attack by fierce and intense pro-divorce lawmakers and supporters. This is the crucial moment when our bishops should rally us more in defending our stand against divorce being the last country where it is still illegal.
We shall have another piece on that later as we continue today our sharing of our past wedding homilies we hope can help you be clarified why we must oppose the divorce bill. Of course, we cannot impose our stand against divorce but we make it clear to everyone why we are against it. After all, it is an informed choice we make guided by the grace of God and the Holy Spirit.
Here is our homily at the wedding at the Manila Cathedral on January 16, 2006 of our very good friend from UST’s the Varsitarian, Dra. Chona T. Capulong and Mr. Stephen Kemp of Kansas.
Twenty three years ago and less than 50 pounds today, our friend and former managing editor Chona had a column at the Varsitarian called “Choice Cuts.”
I will never forget her column with its very catchy title, so well written and most of all, more than 20 years later today, the gospel she had chosen for her wedding speaks about choosing, about choices, Jesus told his disciples, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain…” (John 15:16).
Today we are so blessed to have been called and chosen by Chona and Stephen to be present in this most joyous day of their lives when they pledge their love for each other before God and His people. Let me stress on those words of Jesus saying how we are all “called and chosen to bear fruit.”
God calling and choosing us to bear fruit. The all-knowing God making a choice for us and should we be glad and grateful for that!?
When God calls and chooses us, He does not remove our freedom which is the ability to choose what is good, not simply whatever you want. What happens is that when God calls and chooses us, this gift of freedom is actually enhanced because the Ultimate Good shows us what’s best for us.
That God choosing us rather than us choosing Him is evidently true in friendships and marriage. Chona is from this city of Manila, thousands of kilometers from Wichita, Kansas where Stephen comes from.
How they have met and be in love is a long story; what matters is the choice made by God for them and how they cooperated in that choice.
Most often, whenever we make a choice, it is oriented towards success and triumph. We always make it a point that it would be advantageous for us and most of all, easy and convenient because as much as possible, we want lesser problems and lesser risks.
Being successful, whether in life or in marriage or in business is characterized and based on strength and powers, of how we are able to control situations and bend them to our own advantage. It is about power.
On the other hand, when God makes a choice for us, it is different.
When God makes a choice for us, it is always difficult and never convenient, slow and time-consuming. Most of all, God’s choice always entails sacrifices from our part because, it is so good that we have to be emptied first in order to receive such a beautiful gift like marriage.
When God makes a choice for us, it is always based on our weakness and vulnerabilities. God is not concerned with our being “successful” but more with being fruitful because in this life, especially in marriage, it does not really matter what or how much we have achieved but what have we become.
We may have all the wealth and power in the world, all the success but, what have we become?
Have we been more loving, more forgiving, more understanding, more generous, more honest, more faithful?
Bearing fruit is different from being successful in the sense that when God makes the choices for us, He makes us into better persons, becoming the best husband or best wife or the best person in the world. This He does by letting us come to terms with our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities, emptying ourselves of these impurities and being filled by God’s goodness and holiness.
Being fruitful in marriage means being able to understand and accept, even own because of love the shortcomings of a spouse or of those around us. Being fruitful in life or in marriage is being able to bear all the pains and hardships of life because like in gardening, it is the constant pruning of trees and plants that lead to more blossoms and fruits. It is being like Jesus Christ who willingly accepted His Cross because of His great love for us. He did not remove the Cross but made it holy instead.
Chona and Stephen, this wedding is already a fruit of that call and choosing by Jesus on you. After so many pains and hurts as well as sacrifices from both of you, this day had finally come for both of you to stand before the altar of God and offer yourselves to His plans and choices. This is not the end but the beginning of more pains and hurts and sacrifices.
I am not scaring you, Chona and Stephen; however, may this wedding be an assurance for for both of you that, although there would be more problems and difficulties and trials waiting for you along the way of your married life, be assured of the great glory and fruitful life ahead for both of you.
Continue to cooperate with God’s choices for you by leading a life of faith, hope and love rooted in prayers. Jesus had called and chosen you, Chona and Stephen; Jesus would always be with you because He knows what’s best for you. Amen.
Stephen died a few years ago before the COVID pandemic but our friend Chona had remained firm in her faith in God, raising their daughter into a lovely young lady she is now. Last week, Chona told me how proud and happy she is her daughter is going to take her college abroad, away from her!
So glad that despite her fears as a mother, she had allowed her daughter to study abroad, believing, of course, it is God’s choice for her to eventually become a better woman someday. May we be faithful not only in our duties and responsibilities but especially with the people entrusted to us by God whom He had chosen to become parts of our lives.
Love is more than a feeling; it is a decision we make and renew daily especially when expressed in marriage. It is indeed very difficult but the most wonderful thing about being human. That is the reason why the first miracle of Jesus happened at a wedding in Cana and not in any festivity in the temple or a synagogue.
When couples love and keep that love alive, they level up in their existence, becoming holy like God because love, after all, is a gift from God. To be holy in a state of life is not being sinless but simply being filled with God, being open to God, to His surprises in order for us to believe in Him more and continue to love more.
Do not let divorce thwart this beautiful gift and plan of God to many men and women He calls to share in His love in marriage. Divorce will never solve the problems of married couples as it does not consider the spiritual and deeper human aspects of married life. Divorce is just intent on ending marriage that eventually result to more problems especially to the children.
Here is our sixth wedding homily exactly a year ago when my nephew Immi exchanged “I do” with Pat at the Manila Cathedral. We hope this may lead others to a deeper appreciation of marriage being a gift from God we have to care and protect.
All praise and thanksgiving to God our loving Father for this day, Immi and Pat! This is the day God had set to be your wedding day. Not last year, not next month nor any other day except this seventh day of July 2023.
Jesus Christ said in our gospel today, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you” (John 15:16).
Surprised? Yes, Immi and Pat, you have both felt God surprising you many times since you met each other, mysteriously weaving your lives seamlessly together that today you are before Him at this altar to pledge your love for each other.
That is what I wish to share with you this afternoon: keep that element of surprise in your lives together, Immi and Pat. Never lose that sense of wonder because it is when we are surprised that we start to believe; when we believe, we get closer and then we love. The more we love, the more we are surprised and the more we believe until that love matures into more than feelings but a decision and commitment to love until death.
Hindi ba, Immi and Pat, that is why you are here today because you have finally decided to grow together in this love because you believe in each other and most of all in God?
There were many occasions you were both surprised at the twists and turns in your lives as individuals, beginning at how you got to know each other in the office.
Hindi naman love at first sight iyon. Hindi nga kayo magka-type pareho kaya nag-aasaran kayo palagi.
Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte, Atok, Benguet, 01 September 2019.
You were opposites but the more you were surprised in discovering new things about each other, the more you gravitated to each other, the more you believed in each other, surprisingly realizing that actually, you are not opposites but shared a lot in common.
That’s when you became good friends caring for each other, conversing more often with topics getting deeper like plans and views in life until one day, Pat had so much of these surprises as she juggled many things in her life and asked to speak with you, Immi, to avoid confusion and complicate things further in your friendship.
Wala pa siyang sinasabi maliban sa “mag-usap tayo” and you just told her, “Let’s go out on a date”.Iyon na yun! Kayo na! Dehins na hangout, date na. Wow, tamis!
The problem in our time is that everything, everyone is exposed. Even overexposed!
With social media all around us, everything is shown and displayed for all to see, leaving no room at all for surprises.
Many people these days want everything to be certain. Lahat segurista na ngayon.
No more surprises, no more faith because many of us have stopped believing. Remember, “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). That is why, when we are surprised, we believe; as we believe more and get surprised more, we love.
Immi and Pat, always have faith, believe and be surprised with each other and with God.
The world tells us, “to see is to believe” but our faith teaches us, “believe so that you would see.” Remember when Jesus told Thomas a week after Easter, “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed “(John 21:29b)?
Keep that childlike attitude in you of being surprised always, of having that sense of awe and wonder. That is why kids believe and trust always.
Photo by author, 2019.
Being surprised is being open with the simple realities of life, of the joys of being alive and sharing this life with a special someone in love. Being surprised is being open to getting hurt because we believe there is that special someone who would always take care of us, with whom we can be our true selves no matter what. Being surprised is being open to the realities and ecstasy of loving and of being loved in return. Being surprised is believing in God who is a God of surprises because he loves us so much.
In the Book of Genesis, we find Jacob falling asleep at Bethel with a stone as his pillow, dreaming of a stairway to heaven. It was so good because he saw God and his angels ascending and descending the stairway to heaven that upon waking up, Jacob had that sense of wonder and awe, “Truly the Lord is in this spot, although I did not know it!” (Gen.28:16). Jacob was surprised. Then he believed. And loved and served God. In 1971, we heard Jimmy Page and Robert Plant singing, “makes me wonder” over and over in their hit Stairway to Heaven.
But, Edith Piaf said it best in 1946, of how she was surprised in finding love with her classic song La vie en rose. No, I will not sing it but will just read it to remind you God’s many surprises for you, Immi and Pat.
I thought that love was just a word They sang about in songs I heard It took your kisses to reveal That I was wrong, and love is real
Hold me close and hold me fast The magic spell you cast This is la vie en rose
When you kiss me heaven sighs And though I close my eyes I see la vie en rose
When you press me to your heart I’m in a world apart A world where roses bloom And when you speak, angels sing from above Everyday words seem to turn into love songs
Give your heart and soul to me And life will always be La vie en rose.
Immi and Pat, God has a lot of surprises for you. Remain faithful with each other, remain faithful to Jesus Christ who has called and chosen you. Have Christ always between you in your relationship. Pray, believe and have trust in Him so you both would see more surprises, more life, more love in your married life. God bless you, Immi and Pat! Amen.
For those wishing to listen and perhaps use this classic piece, here is its English version.
Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.
We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.
Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.
There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.
Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.
My dearest Gracie and Chino:
Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.
Disregard God.
Stop believing in God.
Live as if there is no God.
Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.
Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.
Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”
Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.
Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.
In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.
Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.
Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.
Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.
Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.
Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.
There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!
You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.
Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.
When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.
With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.
Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.
Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.
Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.
With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.
Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.
You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.
My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 19 June 2024
With our Grade 7 Students in our San Fernando, Pampanga campus last March.
In my 26 years in the priesthood, the primary reason I have always objected to divorce aside from its being against the teaching of the Lord are the children. When couples separate, their children suffer the most.
Whenever I would speak to couples getting married, I always insist on this important aspect of marriage, of having children, of how this life calls for much maturity and responsibilities from husband and wife to ensure a bright future not only for them but for humanity. From them will come children and future generations. The kind of life they surely affects their children for better or for worst. And there is our future.
Marriage is not a question or a thing based on luck – the Sacrament and grace of God are not everything. Couples need to work harder and pray hardest to keep their union strong in faith, hope and love so that they would have good children who shall be matured and responsible Christians and citizens.
Praying with our students in our main campus in Valenzuela City.
Allowing divorce is opening the floodgates of so many abuses and excuses that will surely destroy the basic unit of the society, the family. Very often in my interaction with students from separated parents, they always have two wishes: that their parents would not separate or if still possible be reunited; and the second, how they wished they were not born to experience all pains and difficulties of having parents on the verge or already separated.
Very sad. Even tragic.
That is why the more I find meaning in my priesthood assigned in the school. Actually, it is more difficult than being in a parish but most fulfilling as I get to see my students mature and bloom, though there were times some of them got lost or went wayward in their lives.
My first assignment after ordination was as administrator-teacher of our diocesan school in Malolos for 11 years, the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) and Immaculate Conception School of Malolos (ICSM). In 2011, I literally begged our bishop to assign me to a parish as I have never experienced being a pastor. During our grand reshuffle in 2021, our new bishop assigned me anew as chaplain here at my present assignment at the Our Lady of Fatima University (OLFU) in Valenzuela and its five other campuses.
Every day in my encounters and engagements with students in the sacraments and casual talks, the more I feel my “fatherhood” – here are thousands of kids longing for a dad, a father. Many times I tease God, asking Him if this is the reason why we priests do not get married so that we could take care of somebody else’s children?!
What a joy that even for a brief moment I become a dad for many of them in my stories and teachings. And presence.
Speaking to our elementary students after their weekly Mass in our Valenzuela campus.
That is why I feel so glad and proud of many of my students especially from ICSB who have turned out so well as responsible dads and faithful husbands to their wives. One of them was Micah who asked me to officiate his wedding to Lery shortly before the pandemic in 2020.
The homily I prepared for their wedding was actually a review of the five important things I used to tell Lery and all my students in ICSB to have in their pocket as a man: handkerchief, money, pen, comb, and Rosary.
Lery at my back in another wedding of his classmate in January 2020.
Micah and Lery are happily married with two kids and a third coming in eight months. They all live abroad where Micah is working.
Most of his barkada are also happily married, many abroad too like him.
I send them my prayers and reflections once in a while as I remember them all in prayers, hoping their marriage will remain strong, that they – and their kids – would truly be icons of the love of God in Jesus Christ. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 11 June 2024
From stillromancatholicafteralltheseyears.com, January 2022.
What is very sad in this ongoing debate against divorce in our country is how some people claiming to be graduates and professors of Catholic institutions insist on their many “intellectual reasonings” why divorce should be allowed while at the same time declaring it is wrong to profess we are against divorce simply because we are Catholics.
What a tragedy when those educated or teaching in Catholic schools and universities who are supposed to know more and better about Jesus Christ and His teachings are the ones favoring divorce. They cite so many studies and authors even theologians to support their stand in favor of divorce without ever mentioning Christ’s teachings found in the Sacred Scriptures that were explained by the Church in our Catechism as well as in so many other documents by the Popes and bishops.
We understand how journalists could err regarding names and other details that essentially do not effect the veracity of their news like the recent sakalan blues in Gagalangin, Tondo when the interview of a priest was ascribed to another; but, to be one sided in the presentation of a story is something else like Rappler’s “The Problem with I am Catholic, I say no to divorce”. There’s a reliable maxim in journalism that says “Opinions are free but facts are sacred.”
The main fact we have been holding on the sanctity and indissolubility of marriage for over 2000 years is our Lord Jesus Christ’s teaching against divorce that the pro-divorce everywhere have refused to accept.
Yes, we need to listen to different views about divorce but not to those views condemned by the Church because they are wrong.
Divorce cannot be isolated as merely a political issue to be resolved because marriage as a natural sacrament is spiritual in nature, a path to holiness.
Marriage is a gift and a call from God for men and women to live and work together in order to attain eternal life. This we achieve firstly by having a prayer life, a relationship with God expressed in our love for one another especially between husband and wife.
In arguing against divorce, we need to look for those couples who have made it through thick and thin in their marriage in order to inspire others in following the path of Holy Matrimony.
Joyce and Tony in 2019 with son Atty. JA and wife Kathleen with their two sons, and daughter Rosella.
As a contribution in our fight against divorce, I share with you my homily at the 40th wedding anniversary of my cousin Joyce Pollard to Tony Lopez in October 2019 which I titled as “Married life is a prayer”.
Oh what a joy to officiate weddings especially of relatives and friends!
Hope you find some lessons and inspirations on the beauty of marriage we have to keep.
As I prepared my homily for your anniversary, Joyce and Tony… “the moment I woke up and before your Mommy Fely put on her make-up, I said a little prayer for you.”
Of course that is not the theme song of Joyce and Tony. They haven’t met yet in 1967 when Dione Warwick recorded I Say a Little Prayer. But they were already married when it became one of the tracks in the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding” starring Julia Roberts.
And since this is my “best cousin’s wedding anniversary” in this part of the city, I have thought of reflecting on married life as a prayer.
In our gospel we have heard Jesus Christ narrating the parable of the unjust judge and persistent widow to underscore “the necessity to pray always without becoming weary” (Lk. 18:1).
Prayer is an expression of faith.
When there is faith, there is also love.
And when there is prayer, faith, and love, what we have is a relationship, a community of believers who love each other.
People who love and believe with each other always talk and communicate. They make time to be with one another. And most often, that is what really matters with people who love and believe – simply to be together.
Even in silence.
Like prayer.
Prayer is more than asking things from God but most of all, prayer is a relationship with God expressed with others. That is the beauty of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony: husband and wife are bound together in marriage to become signs of the saving presence of Jesus Christ.
Marriage as a sacrament means it is a prayer as well, a relationship of a man and woman with God as its source and foundation.
I am sure, Joyce and Tony along with all the other married couples here today will agree that married life requires a lot of prayers. In fact, married life is a prayer, a very difficult one that is much needed.
Like in that movie My Best Friend’s Wedding, there are real forces of evil that are trying to destroy couples. So many couples have already fallen, going their separate lives after several years of being together while on the other hand, more and more couples are refusing to get married at all due to this reality of breakups and separations.
And that is why we are celebrating today Joyce and Tony’s 40th wedding anniversary! We are praying with them in expressing our faith and love for them in Christ Jesus. Prayers have kept them together, transforming them into better persons.
At the end of the parable of the persistent widow and unjust judge, Jesus posed a very crucial question for us, especially to every married couple here today: When the Son of Man comes again at the end of time, will he find faith on earth? (Lk.18:8)
And what shall be our response?
“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony!”
Like Moses in the first reading, they both prayed hard with arms outstretched on many occasions as they battled life’s many challenges and struggles.
“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony” because they have both proclaimed your word with persistence, whether it is convenient or inconvenient like St. Paul in his second letter to Timothy. They have weathered so many storms in the past 40 years and your words, O Lord, have kept them together, sharing these with their children and with everyone in their life of fidelity and love.
“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony” now before your altar to renew their vows to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives!
“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again” among the many couples gathered here who have remained faithful to each other despite their many sins and failures, weaknesses and shortcomings.
Joyce and Tony, you are not only a prayer of faith but also a homily of the Holy Matrimony, showing us the light and power of Jesus Christ to transform people in prayer and bring them to fulfillment.
Prayer does not change things like typhoons and earthquakes. We cannot ask God in prayer to spare us from getting sick or be exempted from life’s many trials and sufferings. Prayer cannot stop those from happening.
What prayer does is change us, change our attitude so we may hurdle life’s many blows and obstacles. Especially with couples who always find God in their lives, in good times and in bad.
Prayers transform us into better persons as children of God, especially couples who eventually look like brothers and sisters after living together in faith, hope and love.
Tony and Joyce, I am sure everyone in our family and among your friends here can attest to the many good things that have transformed you in the past 40 years.
You have changed to become the best for each other.
In the bible, the number 40 means perfect.
May God continue to perfect you, Tony and Joyce.
Keep us too in your prayers as we pray for you. Amen.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Wednesday, Memorial of St. Boniface, Bishop & Martyr, 05 June 2024 2 Timothy 1:1-3, 6-12 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Mark 12:18-27
Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.
Thank you so much, dear Jesus for your words today that shed light again to this issue about divorce: of how resurrection is real because God is very much alive, very much present with us and in us!
Jesus said to them, “Are you not misled because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? When they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but they are like the angels in heaven. As for the dead being raised, have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the passage about the bush, how God told him, I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? He is not God of the dead but of the living. You are greatly misled.
Mark 12:24-27
Most of all, you have shown us too how marriage is a path towards heaven: man and woman marry in this life for a taste of heaven, to work for heaven, to try making this imperfect world a heaven, your dwelling; we pray for all couples especially those going through crises these days to heed St. Paul's words to Timothy, "to stir into flame the gift of God" they have received on their wedding day before your altar:
For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord, not to me, a prisoner for his sake; but bear your share of hardship for the Gospel with the strength that comes from God.
2 Timothy 1:7-8
Remind us that life is always difficult because there is always the cross we have to carry; however, let it sink into us too that the cross is meant to make us better and stronger, that every sacrifice and mortification we make is not to lose life but actually to gain it more, to have it more fully! Most of all, every perseverance to love and to forgive, to be kind and be caring happen all in your grace, O God; in this age of instants when every difficulty has become a door to escape and exit from problems, let us not be ashamed of the real stuff that truly makes life meaningful by suffering and dying in You, dear Jesus; in this time of serious attacks against marriage, may we remember the words of your servant St. Boniface "Let us be neither dogs that do not bark nor silent onlookers nor paid servants who run away before the wolf. Instead, let us be careful shepherds watching over Christ's flock."
May we stand for what is true and good, O Lord, not only in words but especially in deeds, witnessing your Gospel. Amen.
Photo by author, Ubihan Island, Meycauyan City, December 2021.
Here is our second instalment of our contribution in reflecting why divorce should not be allowed because it is against the plan of God and therefore, a sin. Please, we are not judging anyone here.
It is the simple truth that for the longest time people have refused to accept in their hearts that they have continuously sought ways of justifying divorce because right in their hearts, they are the first ones bothered. They had their chance to confront Jesus Christ about it 2000 years ago but the Lord minced no words when He declared the painful truth any pro-divorce would not discuss, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Mt.19:8).
How sad when articles come out trying so hard to dilute this truth by deliberately interpreting it in their own terms especially the many statements by Pope Francis which he had repeatedly clarified including that of the same sex union.
Most sad is when a news report supposed to present all sides chooses to cite only the questionable teachings of some experts in religion or theology without citing the Sacred Scriptures, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Church documents for official teachings on marriage. Worst, the same report highlighted views of Catholic theologians silenced long ago (may they rest in peace) by the Church for their misleading views on morality!
Divorce is against God’s plan. Marriage is only between a man and a woman as created by God, not invented by any one that is subject to changes or whims. Jesus explained this clearly in the same gospel scene which we shall echo today and forever: “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and he said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mt.19:4-6).
As a creation of God, marriage is a sacrament, a sign of His saving presence in this world in Jesus Christ who had come to reassert this truth. The problem remains the hardness of the hearts of people, especially of those getting married who are so preoccupied with the accidentals of marriage without realizing that they are an icon of Jesus.
Photo by author, 2019.
My first assignment after ordination in 1998 was to teach at the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos City. We also run an all-girls high school and an elementary school for boys and girls.
Marian was my student from elementary to high school whom I have known so well including her parents. We call our students ICONS, from the initials of our school name. Here are parts of my homily to Marian’s wedding last June 29, 2019 at the Malolos Cathedral.
Congratulations to you, my dearest Marian and Matt!
God willed that you get married today on the Solemnity of St. Peter and St. Paul, the two pillars of the Church established by our Lord Jesus Christ.
Like you, Marian and Matt, St. Peter and St. Paul are two people of opposite personalities, of different social and cultural backgrounds but were able to overcome these to work together for Jesus Christ. We celebrate their feast together because despite their many differences, they were united in their love for Jesus Christ. It was Christ who brought them together and kept them together so his Church would grow and be what it is today.
The same is true with you, Marian and Matt: Jesus Christ brought you together in spite of your many differences to be united in his love. Most of all, Marian and Matt, Jesus wants you to be his ICONS or images in the world today that has become individualistic.
An icon or image of Jesus like St. Peter and St. Paul is to be one in the Lord. A man and woman get married to become disciples of Christ, to become one in Christ, to look like Christ. That is the meaning of the word sacrament, visible sign of the saving presence of Jesus in the world.
And that is why the gospel you have chosen for your wedding day is so perfect, the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus gave us his Beatitudes that are actually directions for discipleship… let us reflect on the sixth Beatitude of Jesus: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God” (Mt.5:8).
Remember the Little Prince where the fox told him that “What is essential is invisible to the eye; it is only with the heart one can truly see”?
We can only see God with our hearts. The intellect alone is never enough.
And so it is with any person.
We can learn and know so many things about another person with our intellect but nothing will be enough for us to truly love him or her unless we let our hearts see the real him or her.
The heart is the wholeness of the person. Yesterday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Sometimes, when we use our minds, we see the world as so dark and so evil. But, if we have hearts that can see, we will be more surprised that there are more goodness, more beauty in this world than what we hear and see in the news and around us.
Marian and Matt, always have a clean heart to see each one’s goodness and beauty.
Always go back to those early days when you first saw each other with your hearts. Aside from the kilig factor, you felt and realized something deeper with each other. The beloved disciple, St. John, wrote in our first reading, “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1 Jn. 4:11-12).
And that is how we see God and others: always with our hearts when we love.
To have a clean heart, Marian and Matt, is to enter into the mind of Jesus Christ and that is to embrace his Cross. Having a clean heart is becoming one with Jesus Christ, especially in his love and fidelity.
A clean heart is a loving heart that always gives life, other-centered, veritable and enduring. Always in communion with Jesus Christ who gave us the new commandment to love like him by being rooted in the Father.
The love of Christ is the fire that purifies and cleanses our hearts, unifying our intellect, will and emotion that enables us to see oneness in ourselves before God. We see not only the good and the bad sides in ourselves but also among those around us, especially those we love.
Look back at your many experiences, Marian and Matt. Look at your past lives, your struggles, your mistakes and sins. Despite all these, you have also seen and experienced God’s loving presence in you in spite of your many darkness and divisions within.
That is why you are so “blessed”, Marian and Matt, because today on your wedding day, you enter God himself and you are able to “see” him with your loving hearts despite your pains and hurt, failures and shortcomings. Keep your hearts clean in Jesus Christ so you may always see God in each other. Amen.
My dearest married couples, please do not forget that fact, that reality: you are an image, an icon of Jesus Christ. And what a great honor!
That is why Jesus made His first miracle in a wedding at Cana to show your special place in God’s plan. You have chosen a most difficult kind of life but that is why you chose to get married in the Church – to be blessed by God.
God keeps His promise. Keep yours too! Praying for all couples especially those going through difficulties these days.
The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Memorial of the Queenship of Mary, 22 August 2023
Isaiah 9:1-6 ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> + ><}}}}*> Luke 1:26-30
Photo by author, St. Scholastica Spirituality Center, Baguio City, 22 August 2023.
YES. Perhaps the most sweetest word we all wish to hear but also the most difficult word for us to say. We want others always saying “yes” to our requests and questions but we are so afraid, so hesitant telling it to others. Very often, we hide our “yes” in cloudy expressions like maybe, will try, or simply not say it all. Especially with God.
How funny that every vocation story of any priest and religious started with that simple “yes” – a “yes, Lord”! Or, “opo, Panginoon, susunod ako”!
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.
Luke 1:38
How amazing that such a very simple word of three letters – yes – could be so powerful enough to change one’s life. Even history. And how could such a very short word with just one syllable be so difficult to say!
With every yes in life we hear, it becomes so sweet because we are affirmed. We feel valuable and precious when people say “yes” to us. However, we are very cautious in saying “yes” to others, especially to God and in the name or presence of God because when we say that “yes”, it becomes our very life.
Every “yes” becomes a commitment, a vow, a promise to keep. Not only for us priests and religious but everybody, especially husband and wife saying yes on their wedding day; doctors, lawyers and other professionals saying yes to uphold life, justice and freedom; children saying yes to obey their parents and teachers; everybody has to say a yes in different ways every day everywhere in many occasions and situations. Many times it looks so simple, sometimes it could mean life and death.
Photo by author, St. Scholastica Spirituality Center, Baguio City, 22 August 2023.
Every yes is precious and sweet because it is the beginning of love. That is why we need to affirm and stand with that yes day in, day out in our lives.
Like Mary, her “yes” to God did not happen just once but everyday in her life, reaching its highest point at the Cross when her Son Jesus Christ died. She must have had the most painful yet bittersweet yes too when she held Christ’s lifeless Body immortalized in Michaelangelo’s La Pieta.
But it was Mary’s yes that brought us Christmas and Easter, leading to Pentecost in the birth of our Church, and led her to heaven. That is why, we celebrate her Queenship today, a week after her Assumption.
O most Blessed Virgin Mary,
our Mother and Queen,
help us to say yes like you to God,
not once but every day in our lives;
pray for us to remain faithful in our yes
to him through our loved ones,
through his people and flock;
pray for us to keep our yes to God
simple like yours, trusting him always
even if our yes would lead us to the Cross
so that our yes would bring us also
to his presence in heaven.
Amen.
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