Rest is to be close with Jesus, close with others

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 21 July 2024
Jeremiah 23:1-6 ><}}}}*> Ephesians 2:13-18 ><}}}}*> Mark 6:30-34

*Photo by author, Katmon Nature Sanctuary &Beach Resort, Infanta, Quezon March 2023.*

After being sent “two by two” last Sunday, the Apostles now return to Jesus, reporting “all they had done and taught.” What a beautiful gospel scene this Sunday, supposed to be our day of rest that begins in God and must be rooted in God.

The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat. So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place (Mark 6:30-32).

Last Sunday we were reminded to rediscover the family and friends sent with us “two by two” in this life while today the Lord wants us to be aware of our need to rest in order to rediscover Him first of all, then one’s self and others.

Unfortunately, many people today have entirely forgotten the meaning and importance of rest that we succumb to all kinds of sickness related with stress and fatigue. In fact, Filipino workers were recently ranked as the second worst in terms of work-life balance in a worldwide survey. One factor it cited is the lesser paid vacation leaves our workers have compared with their counterparts in other countries.

*Photo by author, Sonnenberg Resort, Davao City, 2017.*

Rest is not only stopping from work to be recharged like cellphone batteries; we are not things like robots and drones sent out simply for a task that once achieved, no more. We are inter-related persons meant to form bonds and unity, a family and a community. That is the result of our being sent on a mission to share God’s creative works leading to our union in Him with others.

God rested and made Sabbath holy after creation because He had completed all His works that were all good; we, on the other hand, merely participate in His creative works. That is why no matter how hard we push ourselves with our work, we can’t completely finish them as more things to do come along the way, making us bored or stressed out because we could no longer find life but simply routine. We have been so focused on accomplishing many things as if we are the savior of the world (messianic complex) that we feel so important, bloating our ego. That is when we start literally throwing our weight to those around us like in those reels of road rage. The sad part of this is how we eventually hurt the people we love and supposed to serve like the shepherds of the Old Testament that God through Jeremiah had accused to have “misled and scattered” the people of Israel (Jer.23:1).

*Photo by author, border between Jordan and Israel, May 2019.*

Today, Jesus is inviting us to “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while (Mk.6:31)” to remind us that in everything we do in this life, what matters most is not the task but us, the persons we love and care for, and Christ who is our only fulfillment in life.

Like the apostles, we have to return to Jesus precisely because our mission, our work is not ours but Christ’s. We need to return to Jesus every Sunday in the Eucharist when we are nourished by His words and strengthened by His Body and Blood to sustain us in our mission.

Rest is neither doing nothing like sleeping all day or doing anything we like that we forget God and in the process, our very self and others. Rest is a time of conversion when we lay aside our plans and agenda by returning to God so that we could have focus again in this life. Rest is actually to be filled with God, to be holy.

This we find expressed perfectly in our Filipino word for rest which is pahinga from the root hinga or breath that is spiritus in Latin. To rest in Filipino is mag-pa-hinga that literally means hingahan, to be breathed on. Genesis tells us how God breathed on man to be alive after creating him while in John’s Gospel we find Jesus breathed on His apostles after greeting them with peace twice on the night of Easter when He appeared to them at the Upper Room. From here we get that beautiful imagery of rest as being breathed on by God – mag-pa-hinga sa Diyos – which is to be closer with God!

Here now is the challenge and best part of the good news this Sunday: the more closer we get to God in Jesus and through Jesus especially on Sunday our day of rest, the more we must get closer with others. The more we pray, the more we rest in the Lord, the more we serve, the more we love.

Mark told us how Jesus invited the Twelve to “come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while” but the people saw them and even got earlier to the other side of the lake!

When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd and he began to teach them many things (Mark 6:34).

*Photo by author in the Holy Land, 2019.*

Rest is more than the amount of time spent “resting” but the disposition to be with the Lord, to be one with Him that we become holy like Him. That moment when Jesus led the Twelve to rest was already a “rest” for Him that resulted in serving more the people who have followed them.

Jesus being moved with pity for the people indicated His rest and communion with the Father expressed in His oneness with the suffering people who were like sheep without a shepherd. Jesus has always been one with the Father right from the very start until His death on the Cross where He declared “It is finished” and commended His total self to the Father.

The truest sense of us having a real rest, of getting closer with God is when we get closer with others especially those entrusted to our love and care like our loved ones and those who are poor and sick.

Problem these days among us priests including laypeople is our wrong idea about rest; we do not really rest at all but simply indulge in pleasures that are many times scandalous for being godless and unmindful of other people. True rest makes our hearts natural to be aware of the sufferings of others, to be one with them or at least take their plight into consideration in our rest.

We can only say “mission accomplished” to rest when we are one with God through others that St. Paul explains in the second reading at how Jesus Christ reconciled us all through the Cross, “putting an enmity to death by it” (Eph. 2:16). Next Sunday, this we shall see when after teaching and healing the people in that deserted place, Jesus would feed the crowd of over 5000 people from just a few loaves of bread and pieces of fish.

Let us rest in the Lord to prepare our hearts and souls as well as our tired body to be filled with God so we can fill others too with Him. Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ,
we live in a highly competitive world
of 24/7 wherein everyone is so busy
that we forget You and the persons 
You have entrusted to us;
remind us we are not the Messiah
nor a superhero to save the world;
we can only do as much in this life
as God had accomplished all for us
 in You, the Christ;
let us take two or three 
even five steps backwards 
to let You, Jesus,
do your work in us.
Amen.

Put life in order

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 19 July 2024
Isaiah 38:1-6, 21-22, 7-8 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Matthew 12:1-8

*Photo by author, somewhere in Bgy. Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite, 27 April 2024.*

When Hezekiah was mortally ill, the prophet Isaiah, son of Amoz, came and said to him: “Thus says the Lord: Put your house in order, for you are about to die; you shall not recover. Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord… Then the word of the Lord came to Isaiah: “Go, tell Hezekiah: Thus says the Lord, the God of your father David: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you: in three days you shall go up to the Lord’s temple; I will add fifteen years to your life” (Isaiah 38:1-2, 4-5).

God our Father,
help us
 to put our house in order;
give us the courage and
strength to put our lives
in order
by sincerely admitting our sins
with a firm resolve to turn away
from them and live the gospel
of Jesus your Son.

Let me put order
to my spiritual life by cultivating
the discipline to pray daily
keeping that relationship with You;
let me put order in my life
by seeking ways to be more
loving with others than
finding their faults;
let me put order in my life
by being less judgmental of others
to be more charitable and understanding.

Like Hezekiah
let me accept my fate,
let me accept death:
"In the noontime of life I must depart!
To the gates of the nether world
I shall be consigned
for the rest of my years" (Isaiah 38:10);
how wonderful that without praying
for his healing but for the grace
to accept your will,
You healed Hezekiah
and prolonged his life
to serve You more than ever.
Amen.

Firm faith, firm self

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday, Memorial of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, 16 July 2024
Isaiah 7:1-9 <*((((>< M+ ><))))*> Matthew 11:20-24

*Photo by author, Holy Family Monastery of Our Lady of Carmel, Guiguinto, Bulacan 2019.*

Thank You, dear God our Father
to your reminder today through
your prophet,
"Unless your faith is firm
you shall not be firm!"
(Isaiah 7:9).

So many times I forget this truth
 as I try to do everything
 to make myself strong physically,
 mentally and emotionally;
  so many times I forget
 that everything is fleeting in this world
 especially my body, including my enemies;
  many times I forget
 that the path to real strength
 of my person is in having
 a firm faith in You
 because only You remain.

Everything passes in this world;
 nations and peoples,
 cities and states rise
 and fall but, not You, O Lord!
  You never stop speaking
 your words of wisdom
 into the silence of my heart,
 calling me to trust in You,
 to have faith in You
 as You find ways in saving me
 from my many problems and miseries.
  Give me the grace to repent
 and to harden not my heart
 when I hear Your voice
 in Christ Jesus with Mary
our Lady of Carmel.
Amen.

Marriage, a choice & a gift of Christ

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 July 2024

It is very disappointing that the recent statement of the CBCP on divorce was so unusually soft, trying to balance everything like walking on a thin line, very cautious of not stepping on whoever’s feet or hurting their feelings.

What is most sad is how this statement so watered down unlike the bishops’ previous pronouncements in the last elections supporting a candidate. It is so frustrating for us Catholics when our bishops have repeatedly crossed boundaries getting into partisan politics supporting many election candidates when on this part of our nation’s history they are tepid in standing by the Lord’s flock under attack by fierce and intense pro-divorce lawmakers and supporters. This is the crucial moment when our bishops should rally us more in defending our stand against divorce being the last country where it is still illegal.

We shall have another piece on that later as we continue today our sharing of our past wedding homilies we hope can help you be clarified why we must oppose the divorce bill. Of course, we cannot impose our stand against divorce but we make it clear to everyone why we are against it. After all, it is an informed choice we make guided by the grace of God and the Holy Spirit.

Here is our homily at the wedding at the Manila Cathedral on January 16, 2006 of our very good friend from UST’s the Varsitarian, Dra. Chona T. Capulong and Mr. Stephen Kemp of Kansas.

Twenty three years ago and less than 50 pounds today, our friend and former managing editor Chona had a column at the Varsitarian called “Choice Cuts.”

I will never forget her column with its very catchy title, so well written and most of all, more than 20 years later today, the gospel she had chosen for her wedding speaks about choosing, about choices, Jesus told his disciples, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain…” (John 15:16).

Today we are so blessed to have been called and chosen by Chona and Stephen to be present in this most joyous day of their lives when they pledge their love for each other before God and His people. Let me stress on those words of Jesus saying how we are all “called and chosen to bear fruit.”

So beautiful.

God calling and choosing us to bear fruit. The all-knowing God making a choice for us and should we be glad and grateful for that!?

When God calls and chooses us, He does not remove our freedom which is the ability to choose what is good, not simply whatever you want. What happens is that when God calls and chooses us, this gift of freedom is actually enhanced because the Ultimate Good shows us what’s best for us.

That God choosing us rather than us choosing Him is evidently true in friendships and marriage. Chona is from this city of Manila, thousands of kilometers from Wichita, Kansas where Stephen comes from.

How they have met and be in love is a long story; what matters is the choice made by God for them and how they cooperated in that choice.

Most often, whenever we make a choice, it is oriented towards success and triumph. We always make it a point that it would be advantageous for us and most of all, easy and convenient because as much as possible, we want lesser problems and lesser risks.

Being successful, whether in life or in marriage or in business is characterized and based on strength and powers, of how we are able to control situations and bend them to our own advantage. It is about power.

On the other hand, when God makes a choice for us, it is different.

When God makes a choice for us, it is always difficult and never convenient, slow and time-consuming. Most of all, God’s choice always entails sacrifices from our part because, it is so good that we have to be emptied first in order to receive such a beautiful gift like marriage.

When God makes a choice for us, it is always based on our weakness and vulnerabilities. God is not concerned with our being “successful” but more with being fruitful because in this life, especially in marriage, it does not really matter what or how much we have achieved but what have we become.

We may have all the wealth and power in the world, all the success but, what have we become?

Have we been more loving, more forgiving, more understanding, more generous, more honest, more faithful?

Bearing fruit is different from being successful in the sense that when God makes the choices for us, He makes us into better persons, becoming the best husband or best wife or the best person in the world. This He does by letting us come to terms with our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities, emptying ourselves of these impurities and being filled by God’s goodness and holiness.

Being fruitful in marriage means being able to understand and accept, even own because of love the shortcomings of a spouse or of those around us. Being fruitful in life or in marriage is being able to bear all the pains and hardships of life because like in gardening, it is the constant pruning of trees and plants that lead to more blossoms and fruits. It is being like Jesus Christ who willingly accepted His Cross because of His great love for us. He did not remove the Cross but made it holy instead.

*Photo by Joseph Kettaneh on Pexels.com*

Chona and Stephen, this wedding is already a fruit of that call and choosing by Jesus on you. After so many pains and hurts as well as sacrifices from both of you, this day had finally come for both of you to stand before the altar of God and offer yourselves to His plans and choices. This is not the end but the beginning of more pains and hurts and sacrifices.

I am not scaring you, Chona and Stephen; however, may this wedding be an assurance for for both of you that, although there would be more problems and difficulties and trials waiting for you along the way of your married life, be assured of the great glory and fruitful life ahead for both of you.

Continue to cooperate with God’s choices for you by leading a life of faith, hope and love rooted in prayers. Jesus had called and chosen you, Chona and Stephen; Jesus would always be with you because He knows what’s best for you. Amen.

Stephen died a few years ago before the COVID pandemic but our friend Chona had remained firm in her faith in God, raising their daughter into a lovely young lady she is now. Last week, Chona told me how proud and happy she is her daughter is going to take her college abroad, away from her!

So glad that despite her fears as a mother, she had allowed her daughter to study abroad, believing, of course, it is God’s choice for her to eventually become a better woman someday. May we be faithful not only in our duties and responsibilities but especially with the people entrusted to us by God whom He had chosen to become parts of our lives.

Words, words, words…

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 12 July 2024
Hosea 14:2-10 <*[[[[><< + >><]]]]*> Matthew 10:16-23

Thus says the Lord: Return, O Israel, to the Lord, your God; you have collapsed through your guilt. Take with you words, and return to then Lord; Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity, and receive what is good, that we may render as offerings the bullocks from our stalls” (Hosea 24:2-3).

Loving Father,
let us "take words" with us
this Friday,
words of contrition for our sins,
words of true repentance,
words begging your mercy,
words that are sincere
not empty words;
many times in this world
of social media,
we multiply words,
we shout words,
we alter words
to give new meanings
that suit us;
many times our words
are mere words,
never bearing fruit,
could not even stand
because they are not true;
like Jesus your Son,
teach us to "enflesh"
our words,
let our words to You be
translated into realities of
conversion and loving service 
for one another.

When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what to say. You will be given at that moment what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you” (Matthew 10:20).

Let us heed your words,
Lord Jesus Christ,
for us to be "shrewd as serpents
and simple as doves"
by learning to be silent
to let the Holy Spirit speak
through us;
in this noisy world
with so many competing 
words and sounds,
it has become indeed 
a persecution to be silent;
it is more difficult to be silent
to await your words, Lord;
it is always easier to speak
and add to the cacophony of
deafening and hurtful words
against each other
than to just listen to
our hearts,
to listen to your words
of love and mercy;
like the psalmist,
let my mouth
declare your praise
by awaiting your words
first, not mine.
Amen.

Married life is being surprised always in order to believe and to keep loving

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 08 July 2024

Love is more than a feeling; it is a decision we make and renew daily especially when expressed in marriage. It is indeed very difficult but the most wonderful thing about being human. That is the reason why the first miracle of Jesus happened at a wedding in Cana and not in any festivity in the temple or a synagogue.

When couples love and keep that love alive, they level up in their existence, becoming holy like God because love, after all, is a gift from God. To be holy in a state of life is not being sinless but simply being filled with God, being open to God, to His surprises in order for us to believe in Him more and continue to love more.

Do not let divorce thwart this beautiful gift and plan of God to many men and women He calls to share in His love in marriage. Divorce will never solve the problems of married couples as it does not consider the spiritual and deeper human aspects of married life. Divorce is just intent on ending marriage that eventually result to more problems especially to the children.

Here is our sixth wedding homily exactly a year ago when my nephew Immi exchanged “I do” with Pat at the Manila Cathedral. We hope this may lead others to a deeper appreciation of marriage being a gift from God we have to care and protect.

All praise and thanksgiving to God our loving Father for this day, Immi and Pat! This is the day God had set to be your wedding day. Not last year, not next month nor any other day except this seventh day of July 2023.

Jesus Christ said in our gospel today, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you” (John 15:16).

Surprised? Yes, Immi and Pat, you have both felt God surprising you many times since you met each other, mysteriously weaving your lives seamlessly together that today you are before Him at this altar to pledge your love for each other.

That is what I wish to share with you this afternoon: keep that element of surprise in your lives together, Immi and Pat. Never lose that sense of wonder because it is when we are surprised that we start to believe; when we believe, we get closer and then we love. The more we love, the more we are surprised and the more we believe until that love matures into more than feelings but a decision and commitment to love until death.

Hindi ba, Immi and Pat, that is why you are here today because you have finally decided to grow together in this love because you believe in each other and most of all in God?

There were many occasions you were both surprised at the twists and turns in your lives as individuals, beginning at how you got to know each other in the office.

Hindi naman love at first sight iyon. Hindi nga kayo magka-type pareho kaya nag-aasaran kayo palagi.

*Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte, Atok, Benguet, 01 September 2019.*

You were opposites but the more you were surprised in discovering new things about each other, the more you gravitated to each other, the more you believed in each other, surprisingly realizing that actually, you are not opposites but shared a lot in common.

That’s when you became good friends caring for each other, conversing more often with topics getting deeper like plans and views in life until one day, Pat had so much of these surprises as she juggled many things in her life and asked to speak with you, Immi, to avoid confusion and complicate things further in your friendship.

Wala pa siyang sinasabi maliban sa “mag-usap tayo” and you just told her, “Let’s go out on a date”. Iyon na yun! Kayo na! Dehins na hangout, date na. Wow, tamis!

The problem in our time is that everything, everyone is exposed. Even overexposed!

With social media all around us, everything is shown and displayed for all to see, leaving no room at all for surprises.

Many people these days want everything to be certain. Lahat segurista na ngayon.

No more surprises, no more faith because many of us have stopped believing. Remember, “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). That is why, when we are surprised, we believe; as we believe more and get surprised more, we love.

Immi and Pat, always have faith, believe and be surprised with each other and with God.

The world tells us, “to see is to believe” but our faith teaches us, “believe so that you would see.” Remember when Jesus told Thomas a week after Easter, “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed “(John 21:29b)?

Keep that childlike attitude in you of being surprised always, of having that sense of awe and wonder. That is why kids believe and trust always.

Being surprised is being open with the simple realities of life, of the joys of being alive and sharing this life with a special someone in love. Being surprised is being open to getting hurt because we believe there is that special someone who would always take care of us, with whom we can be our true selves no matter what. Being surprised is being open to the realities and ecstasy of loving and of being loved in return. Being surprised is believing in God who is a God of surprises because he loves us so much.

In the Book of Genesis, we find Jacob falling asleep at Bethel with a stone as his pillow, dreaming of a stairway to heaven. It was so good because he saw God and his angels ascending and descending the stairway to heaven that upon waking up, Jacob had that sense of wonder and awe, “Truly the Lord is in this spot, although I did not know it!” (Gen.28:16). Jacob was surprised. Then he believed. And loved and served God. In 1971, we heard Jimmy Page and Robert Plant singing, “makes me wonder” over and over in their hit Stairway to Heaven.

But, Edith Piaf said it best in 1946, of how she was surprised in finding love with her classic song La vie en rose. No, I will not sing it but will just read it to remind you God’s many surprises for you, Immi and Pat.

I thought that love was just a word
They sang about in songs I heard
It took your kisses to reveal
That I was wrong, and love is real

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I’m in a world apart
A world where roses bloom
And when you speak, angels sing from above
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose.

Immi and Pat, God has a lot of surprises for you. Remain faithful with each other, remain faithful to Jesus Christ who has called and chosen you. Have Christ always between you in your relationship. Pray, believe and have trust in Him so you both would see more surprises, more life, more love in your married life. God bless you, Immi and Pat! Amen.

For those wishing to listen and perhaps use this classic piece, here is its English version.

From YouTube.com

Blessedness of desert

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 08 July 2024
Hosea 2:16,17-18, 21-22 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 9:18-26

Thus says the Lord: I will allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak to her heart… I will espouse you to me forever: I will espouse you in right and in justice, in love and in mercy; I will espouse you in fidelity, and you shall know the Lord (Hosea 2:16, 21-22).

Praise and glory to You,
God our loving Father!
Lead us back to You,
lead us back to the desert -
to that state of dryness,
of emptiness,
of nothingness
for us to find and 
experience You again;
lead us to the desert,
Father, for us to feel 
our heart again
that You are our first love
after all!

Forgive us, Father,
when life is in abundance
we are filled of our selves
we forget You and others;
when life is affluent,
we disregard what is right
and just, we become so greedy
with nothing enough;
when life is going on smoothly
without problems, we disregard
love and mercy as we see more
of things than persons as we veer
away from You,
sinking into infidelity,
not knowing You.

I do not ask for too much
pain and suffering;
just something enough to
knock our heads
like that father in the gospel
and woman suffering hemorrhages
for 12 years who both felt so 
isolated from the rest
like in a desert
to realize there is only You
in Jesus Christ to restore us
back to life,
back to community,
back to our real selves
and back to You.
Amen.

How to fail in marriage

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 01 July 2024

Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.

We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.

There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

*Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.*

My dearest Gracie and Chino:

Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.

Disregard God.

Stop believing in God.

Live as if there is no God.

Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.

Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.

Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”

Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.

In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.

Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.

*Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.*

Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.

Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.

Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.

There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!

You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.

When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.

With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.

Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.

Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.

Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.

With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.

Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.

You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.

My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.

How to fail in marriage

Getting married in time of pandemic

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 25 June 2024

It’s been more than four years since the breakout of the COVID-19 pandemic that threw many of us out of sync in life, especially those planning to get married during those critical years of 2020-2022.

I had four weddings affected by the COVID-19 lockdowns in that period; three were postponed but I was able to officiate at the two weddings when reset to another dates except the first one that did not fit my schedule. The fourth wedding I was not able to officiate because I got the virus and had to be isolated.

This is the homily I delivered at one of those three weddings postponed I officiated, between Cris my former student at the Immaculate Conception School for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos City and Tim whom I met when they were going steady while we were all taking MA courses at UST.

More funny than that was the fact Cris and Tim have planned of getting married in 2020 but have to move it to 2021 due to the pandemic; but, when COVID still persisted that year, they finally fixed their altar date to early 2022. Alas! Just as they were all set in January 2022, the church was closed on the week of their wedding after its priests got the virus!

Cris and Tim were at a loss when their wedding would finally take place until they were offered by the parish the date February 22, 2022 after the weddings of those others postponed like them. I told them to go for it than wait further for other dates lest they in turn get the virus too!

Looking back to their wedding day, I have realized how God always finds ways in helping married couples in all their problems for as long as they are willing to cooperate. This is why we cannot allow divorce to be legalized in the country for God never fails in His grace and blessings. We just have to work on them.

*From stillromancatholicafteralltheseyears.com, January 2022.*

You must have heard the saying that “God writes straight crooked lines”. And today that proves so true not only with how God wrote so crooked His straight lines in your life, Cris and Tim, but even wrote in circles to make this date your wedding day – 22 February 2022!

Cris and Tim, God has always been so sure in calling you before His altar on this date, which will similarly happen again in 200 years – 22 February 2222! God writes straight crooked lines because everything in him is perfect, like numbers. Precise and exact. Like this date you never chose, 02-22-2022.

When you consulted me last month when priests here offered you this date due to their recent lockdown, right away I told you it is the most wonderful date for your wedding being the Feast of St. Peter’s Chair… St. Peter as in San Pedro like Cristopher Tabafunda San Pedro and later, Mrs. Fatima Macam San Pedro!

It was God who willed in all eternity that you, Cris and Tim, be married today — not last year, not the other week nor next week because today is the day that the Lord has made!

*Cris and Tim are both very prayerful and good, practicing Catholics.*

You are both good with numbers like God, a mathematician who is very precise and exact like an economist and stock trader (Cris) and a marketing and sales executive (Tim) who used to do a lot of chemical research before.

But God has better and deeper plans for you that numbers cannot count nor quantify.

God wants you to always go back to basic numbers, not to those found in equations only you two can understand or multiple digits only you can count.

Jesus said it so well in the gospel today: two is equal to one. So mathematical ba?

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”Matthew 19:5-6

Life is not about having the most but the least. That is where faith grows and deepens.

When we have so much in life, when we feel so sufficient, when we are so filled with things, we forget God. We stop believing in him, we believe more in ourselves.

And when we stop believing in God, we lose our faith and then, we stop loving, too. Sooner or later, we become empty and miserable.

So, be simple, Cris and Tim.

Reduce everything to the barest and simplest. Simplify, simplify, simplify as Henry David Thoreau said: “let your affairs be two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand.”

When we get complicated like our Facebook, life becomes difficult as we can’t find right away who and what matters most to us.

Kaya nga isa lang ang asawa, Cris at Tim, kasi hindi puwede marami. Hindi lang magulo. Magastos pa. Imagine kung dalawa o tatlo wedding rings? Pag isa lang, kita agad at alam na this – married na ang mamang ito na may cute na dimple o itong girl na ito na naka glasses at dalawa pa ang dimples! Hayaan ninyo sabihin ng mga makakita singsing ninyo na sayang at taken na pala siya!

You see, the lower the number, the simpler, the better. Madaling tumaya at manampalataya.

That’s faith! Parang PBA game kung saan kayo nagkakilala. And you have both experienced, walang tatalo sa faith in God ninyong dalawa!

God is greater and more than the numbers the wiz kids and supercomputers of the world can calculate and predict. His thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways. He first created just one man and one woman – just two – to be one with each other in Him, and to be faithful to Him and each other.

Because the more we become faithful, the more we become loving.

That is the message of this Feast of the Chair of St. Peter which is the “Primacy of Rome” or of the Pope: it is the primacy of faith and the primacy of love together which cannot be separated.

*Chair of St. Peter in Rome, from Wikipedia.*

Forget all those numbers Cris and Tim, focus only in the One – God in Jesus Christ. Just focus on Jesus, always Jesus.

Love is not about counting or keeping tabs and tallies, like how many “likes” and “followers” we get in our posts.

The true measure of love is when we love without measure, when we simply love, love, love. And love.

That is why we only have one heart so we can love with all our heart. Forget Sana Dalawa ang Puso Ko. It is just a song.

When you have LQ (lover’s quarrel), who should blink first, or smile? Who should take the first move to reconcile, the first to offer the hand of peace?

Whenever lovers and couples or even friends quarrel, I always say, whoever has more love to give must be the first one to initiate reconciliation, the first to blink, or smile, the first to offer the hand of peace.

To have the most love to give and share does not mean to be better or superior than the other; to have the most love to give and share is to have more faith, to have a deeper faith the he/she is ready and willing to lose everything for the sake of the loved one.

Like Jesus Christ who gave everything for us on that Cross because of love.

God bless you more, Cris and Tim. Amen.

You may check our original post at https://lordmychef.com/2022/02/23/faithful-and-most-loving/.

Expect the unexpected

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday, Solemnity of the Birth of John the Baptist, 24 June 2024
Isaiah 49:1-6 ><}}}}*> Acts 13:22-26 ><}}}}*> Luke 1:57-66.80

*Photo from Wikipedia, mosaic of Jesus with Mary and John the Baptist at the Hagia Sophia in Turkey.*

Praise and glory to You,
God our loving Father
in sending us John the Baptist
as Precursor of your Son
Jesus Christ our Savior;
on this Solemnity of his birth
six months before Christmas
during the summer solstice to
remind us of John's vocation,
"a burning and shining lamp"
(John 5:35) set to decrease 
when the Light that illuminates
the world appeared in December,
the winter solstice.

Everything about John pointed 
to the unexpected - his conception
in the womb of his old, barren mother
Elizabeth, his being named not after
his father Zechariah, and his life being
spent in the wilderness, not in the
temple to follow the footsteps of
his father; most of all, his "manifestation
to Israel"  (Lk.1:80) was not about himself 
but pointed to the Christ, Jesus our Lord
and Savior.

What is not unexpected, dear Father,
is the connection between John and
Jesus and the salvific events that have
everyone filled with joy and fear at the
same time for "surely your hand hand
was with him" (Lk.1:66).

*Photo by author, Binuangan Is., Meycauayan, Bulacan, 31 December 2021.*

Open our eyes and our hearts, 
merciful Father, to always expect 
the unexpected in this life and mission,
to learn to withdraw in the wilderness 
of our lives like John 
to realize that our whole being 
like his is directed to our relationship
with Jesus the Christ.

Let us decrease
so that Jesus may increase!
Let us strive to go to the wilderness
to empty ourselves to be filled
by the Holy Spirit;
most of all,
let your words comfort us
when life becomes so difficult
in being a herald of Jesus by proclaiming
repentance and conversion (Acts 13:24):

“You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God” (Isaiah 49:3,4).

How wonderful
that when I learn to expect
the unexpected from You,
O God,
that is when I am less,
Jesus becomes more in me,
then truly,
You are most gracious,
 Father through me,
like John.
Amen.