Prayer to have the look of faith

The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul

Saturday, Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross, 14 September 2019

Numbers 21:4-9 ><)))*> Philippians 2:6-11 ><)))*> John 3:13-17

The Brazen Serpent Monument on Mt. Nebo inside the Franciscan Monastery in Jordan, May 2019.

“We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you. Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.”

As we celebrate today the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross, we widen our gaze on your holy cross, Lord Jesus, that remains standing to remind us of your love and mercy, of your abiding presence and light amidst the many darkness enveloping us today.

When we look around us, when we read the newspapers, watch the TV and listen to the radio, we cannot help but cry, even complain deep within like the Israelites in the wilderness why all the miseries still happening around us with all the killings and injustices going on.

Sometimes, Lord, the powers of evil and sin seem to prevail over the world cast in widespread darkness with all the chaos and confusions going on.

But here lies the beauty of your Cross, Jesus Christ: it does not deny the sufferings and pains caused by our sins that led to your death that still continue to this day and cause our grave sufferings; however, despite this gravity of our sins, your Cross reminds us too of your unending love and mercy.

More powerful than evil and darkness are your love and light, O sweet Jesus made manifest on your Cross.

Grant us that gaze of faith, the look of faith needed by so many of us travelling in this wilderness to always see you Lord who was sent by the Father because he so loved the world that whoever believes in you might not perish but gain eternal life. Amen.

“Dust in the Wind” by Kansas (1978)

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music, 04 August 2019
Petra, Jordan, 30 April 2019.

We were in Grade Six when the American progressive rock band Kansas released “Dust In the Wind” in 1978. Immediately upon hearing it on radio with its signature guitar plucking, everybody was talking about its spiritual meaning, especially its music that sounded so mystical.

According to its composer and band guitarist Kerry Livgren, the song was inspired by a line from the Book of Ecclesiastes which we have heard proclaimed in today’s Sunday Mass with some references also from Genesis 3:19 “…for dust thou art, and unto dust thou shall return.”

I have seen all things that are done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a chase after wind.

Ecclesiastes 1:14

Like the author of the Ecclesiastes who called himself Qoheleth, Dust in the Wind is no “kill joy” but a beautiful and timely reminder to us all that indeed, we are all dust in the wind, that we must seek things that truly last even after death.

And that is God alone.

What I like most in Dust in the Wind is its haunting melody that elicits a kind of fear that does not make you cower or tremble. It is a positive kind of fear that according to experts motivates man to further his knowledge and abilities. Like this fear of death that has enabled man to achieve so many breakthroughs in medicine and the sciences to cure and prevent many diseases that have greatly improved our quality of life. It was also the fear of death, of going hungry that enabled many explorers to discover many new lands and territories that now push advanced nations to explore the universe for future human colonies.

Sometimes in life, we have to be shocked and shaken because fear can be a good motivator for us to strive for the best. But more than a motivator, the fear of death can also be a path to holiness and communion in God as the Book of Ecclesiastes shows us: the more we realize our nothingness like dust in the wind, that everything is vanity, the more we also desire and hold on to God who is the only One permanent and absolutely good after death.

The French author and film director Georges Bernanos (Diary of a Country Priest) wrote in one of his novels that,

In a sense, you see, Fear is the daughter of God, redeemed on the night of Good Friday. It is not pretty to see— of course not!— sometimes mocked, sometimes cursed, renounced by everyone… And yet, do not deceive yourself: it is at the bedside of each agony, it intercedes for man.

Joy (La Joie)

May this music by Kansas remind us that only Jesus Christ can fulfill us. Not money or wealth, power or fame for “one’s life does not consist of possessions” (Lk. 12:15). May it also remind us of Christ’s parable of the rich man who died after storing treasures for himself, forgetting to be rich in what matters to God (cf. Lk.12:21).

Happy listening and blessed Sunday to you!

Shock preaching the plain truth

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul, Wk. XVIII-C, 04 August 2019
Ecclesiastes 1:2; 2:21-23 >< }}}*> Colossians 3:1-5, 9-11 >< }}}*> Luke 12:13-21
Mount of Olives Jewish Cemetery

Outside Jerusalem is the Mount of Olives Jewish Cemetery. It is one of the world’s oldest, existing for over 3000 years. It is also one of the most expensive cemetery in the world for having the choicest spot to be buried in the planet as it faces the Eastern Gate of Jerusalem where the bible tells us the Messiah would be coming through. Hence, all tombs at the Mount of Olives Cemetery point to that direction so that all those buried there would be the first to rise again to life and welcome the Messiah when he comes.

Of course, we Christians believe Jesus is the Messiah or the Christ who in fact came through that Eastern Gate on Palm Sunday when he entered Jerusalem over 2000 years ago to offer his life for our salvation on Good Friday, resurrecting on Easter Sunday!

And while the Jews await the Messiah and we Christians affirm he has come in Jesus, our Moslem brothers and sisters sealed the Eastern Gate during the Middle Ages that since then, no one could pass through it except literally face a blank wall.

I love telling this amusing story to fellow pilgrims to the Holy Land but find it today as a beautiful springboard for reflection to balance our Sunday gospel that sounds like a “shock preaching” by Jesus Christ.

Someone in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, tell my brother to share the inheritance with me.” He replied to him, “Friend, who appointed me as your judge and arbitrator?” Then he said to the crowd, “Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one’s life does not consist of possessions.” Then he told them a parable… “Thus will it be for the one who stores up treasure for themselves but are not rich in what matters to God.”

Luke 12:13-16, 21

Beginning this Sunday until the next three weeks, we’ll hear Jesus Christ “shock preaching” us the plain truth we always forget or even disregard: that we all die and what really matters most in life are the good deeds we have done. All our cherished possessions, everything we have labored so hard in this life we shall leave behind when we die because as the Lord had said, “life does not consist of possessions”.

We have known this all along but we rarely realize its full impact until we come face to face with death due to an illness, retirement, or situations when we existentially feel we are mortals after all, contrary to what we have felt and held when we were younger.

So, why wait until it is too late? Start considering now in everything of what will remain after our death.

And if you find this shocking, see also how Jesus coldly refused the man’s plea for his intervention to have his share of inheritance that is rightly his: “Friend, who appointed me as your judge and arbitrator?” What had happened to his teachings last week about prayer, of God giving what is best for us like our sinful parents?

Here we find the value of Christ’s shock preaching: his response was not only directed to the man but to us all who always pray to him, asking him for so many things when we forget the more essential, God. As we have reflected last Sunday, we pray to have God because when we have him, we have everything! Jesus is redirecting our attention and focus on things that last even after our death, on “being rich in what matters to God.”

After my father had retired, he was diagnosed with glaucoma. While driving for him on our way home from the hospital, he told me how he had realized that God is not really so concerned about our temporal affairs like wealth. He claimed that everything he had prayed for was granted by God except only that one thing of being rich.

I totally agree with my Dad and that is why I do not pray for any material thing for myself since 1995 while a seminarian until now that I am a priest for 21 years. I do pray for the material well-being of my family, relatives and friends because when they are financially stable, I know they would take care of me and of my needs just like last week when a relative gave me a brand new laptop (a Mac, in fact). I do not pray for things because I am so convinced that whatever I need, God will give me. The only thing I pray for myself is that when I die, God brings me to heaven.

When we try to pray deeper, we also realize that in whatever problem we find ourselves confronted with especially with those pertaining to material things like money, cars, house, and gadgets, Jesus always responds in the same manner he did with that man who requested him on his way to Jerusalem. That is because Jesus came not to be a judge and arbitrator of our inheritance and assets. Jesus came for the salvation of our souls, for the fulfillment of our lives that can never be achieved with money and wealth or power and fame.

Jesus came for us, for you and me. Personally. He wants us to focus more on “what matters to God” like love and mercy, kindness and generosity with others which he lavishly gives us. When we are rich with these gifts that matter to God, we also find ourselves desiring less material things, being more fair and just in our dealing with others. No stealing, no cheating, no character assassination. When we have more of spiritual goods, we have more joy within, more peace and contentment. But when we have more of material goods, we feel more uneasy and most prone to sin.

Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, vanity of vanities. All things are vanity! For what profit comes to a man from all the toil and anxiety of heart with which he labored under the sun? All his days sorrow and grief is his occupation; even at night his mind is not at rest. This is also vanity.

Ecclesiastes 1:2; 2:22-23
Women pose for photos near a homeless man during the New York Fashion Week , October 2012. Photo by Reuters via The Economist Magazine.

Qoheleth is no “killjoy” but merely telling us that everything on earth vanishes like thin air. Only God lasts for all eternity. And that is also the whole point of St. Paul in the second reading.

Brothers and sisters: If you were raised with Christ, seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Think of what is above, not of what is on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Colossians 3:1-3

Sometimes in life, we need to be shocked and shaken of the simple facts we take for granted like our relationships with God and with others. Here we find that fear can sometimes be good. In fact, it was our fear of death that led mankind to many medical and scientific breakthroughs in history that have made life today better and safer, and yes, easier. It was also this fear of death that had enabled man to discover new lands to inhabit and is now pushing us to explore the universe.

But most of all, this fear of death can also be holy and blessed too because when we become conscious of our own end in life, that is when we start living authentically in the hope of eternal life in God. A blessed Sunday to you! Amen.

Lalawigan ng Tokhang

Lawiswis ng Salita ni P. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Ika-09 ng Hulyo 2019
Imahen ng Inmaculada Concepcion sa tuktok ng kampanaryo ng Katedral ng Malolos. Larawan kuha ni Lorenzo Atienza, 12 Hunyo 2019.
Nakakagulat, nakakagimbal
Marami ang nagulantang
Sa balitang napakinggan
Lalawigan ng Bulakan
Number one ngayon sa patayan.
 Kadluan ng katagalugan
Na siyang wika ng mga makata
Dito sa Bulakan iba na yata sinasalita:
Tokhang na mula sa Bisaya
Nawala na ang puso sa pananalita pati sa gawa.
Nasaan mga namumuno ng pamahalaan at Simbahan
Paano nagkaganyan itong duyan ng kasaysayan
Naging bukirin ng patayan
Nang hindi namamalayan o
Dahil wala tayong pakialam?
Noon pa mang makalawang taon
Pinakamaraming natokhang noong linggo ng Bulakan
Natabunan lamang ng balitang pagpatay
Ng mga pulis sa walang kamalay-malay na kabataan
Kian kanyang pangalan doon sa Kalookan.
Pansamantalang tumigil mga patayan
Kinasuhan mga berdugo ni Kian
Ngunit kanilang hepe sa Kalookan
Binigyan ng pabuya upang pamunuan
Pulisya sa buong lalawigan ng Bulakan.
Ano na nga ba nangyari sa atin, mga kababayan?
Di lamang nanunungkulan kungdi pati mga mamamayan
Wala na ba tayong pakialam
Mga dating luntiang sakahan ay tinambakan
Upang gawing paradahan ng mga container van?
Bago pa dumating ang tokhang
Pinatay na rin mga ilog at sapa natin
Kaya maraming lupain naging dagat-dagatan na rin
Habang hinahayaan nating gahasain
Bulubundukin ng Sierra Madre upang samsamin kayamanan natin.
Nawala na yata pasintabi
Pati mga simbahan ginigiba, iniiba
Kabanalan hinalinhan ng kaartehan
Diyos hindi ni makita o maramdaman
Puro palabas, nawala na napapaloob na kahulugan.
Halina at magsuri, magmuni-muni
Ating pagbulayan kahulugan nitong buhay
Matatagpuan kung ano ating niyuyungyungan
Madalas siya rin nating pinahahalagahan
At tiyak naroon din ating kayamanan.
Mabuting Pastol, kaawaan at kalingain aming lalawigan na tila pinabayaan ng iyong mga pinagkatiwalaan! Larawan ng luklukan ng Katedral ng Malolos. Kuha ni Lorenzo Atienza, 12 Hunyo 2019.

Discipleship is facing death

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe, Wk. XIII-C, 30 June 2019
1 Kings 19:16, 19-21 >< )))*> Galatians 5:1, 13-18 >< )))*> Luke 9:51-62
Jerusalem as seen from the Mount of Olives with a Jewish cemetery at the foreground facing its eastern wall where the Messiah is believed would pass through when he comes. It is the very route Jesus had taken more than 2000 years ago on Palm Sunday before his Passion, Death and Resurrection. Photo by author, 04 May 2019.

After all the solemnities we have celebrated since the closing of Easter Season last Pentecost Sunday, we now get into the very heart of the Ordinary Time of our liturgy with St. Luke as our guide. Feel the sobriety and hint of solemnity at the start of the second part of his gospel we have heard today which is about discipleship and facing death like Jesus.

When the days for Jesus’ being taken up were fulfilled, he resolutely determined to journey to Jerusalem.

Luke 9:51

I love the way St. Luke wrote this part about Jesus “resolutely determined to journey to Jerusalem.” In some translations, they have retained its literal equivalent from the original Greek text that says “Jesus set his face to Jerusalem”. For Jesus, Jerusalem is where he fulfills his mission from the Father by dying on the Cross. So, if we are going to be more literal with this opening sentence by St. Luke, it would be “Jesus set his face to death.”

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A friend who had inspired me about blogging has been writing about death lately. Last June 10, 2019 he wrote:

No one wants to write about death. Or dying.

To many, it’s not only a morbid topic. It is a taboo to talk about it.

Of course we’d rather talk about the joie de vivre in our daily chronicles. It is, after all, what sparks joy.

Death is a stranger to this world. Until it comes knocking at your door.

https://relativejoyforyou.wordpress.com/2019/06/10/dear-death/?fbclid=IwAR2ryu6Kou_CIRYqTz193ZTkpdS5bSabCX9-7NuhDSHM3jYcrhjNY8rta6o

His words are very true.

In fact, I have been very hesitant to write about death as a topic for my homily this Sunday because Sundays are supposed to be joyful! And that is perhaps our problem with death: we always see it as something dark and negative. (Is it not?)

Today Jesus is teaching us to see death in his perspective as something beautiful and even glorious. St. Luke saw it and is now leading us in this new approach to death as he tells us the story when “Jesus resolutely determined to journey to Jerusalem.”

One thing that strikes me during sick visitations in my parish and in Metro Manila is how we see death as an escape or an ending. Patients and relatives alike always tell me to pray for death to end all sufferings and pains.

When “Jesus resolutely determined to journey to Jerusalem,” he was not sick, physically and emotionally. He was very well and able. When he was hanging on the Cross, he did not wish death to end his pains. On the contrary, he actually faced death head on. And this is one of the very important lessons Jesus had taught and shown us: facing death, even embracing death. Recall how during his Last Supper on Holy Thursday Jesus was never caught surprised by death. He was in total control of everything.

This is the reason why Jesus accomplished so much in just three years of his ministry because he was very aware of his coming death. In coming to terms with death, Jesus lived fully even if he died at 33 years old. The same is very true with some of our saints who have died young and have accomplished so much because they have all lived to the fullest that death did not surprise them at all in their works and mission.

The “sleeping Jesus” on a bench at the entrance to Capernaum. See the wounds on his feet, markings from his crucifixion. Photo by author, 02 May 2019.

One of the new attractions at Capernaum today when you come to visit the ruins of the synagogue Jesus used to visit there during his lifetime is a park where one finds his statue sleeping on a bench at the entrance across the Franciscans’ quarters. The statue is executed artistically and realistically that passersby would drop some coins for alms in a pot near the image! The sleeping Christ on a bench depicts exactly the second part of the gospel we have heard today: there is nothing certain in this life except Jesus Christ. The sooner we come to accept and embrace this reality vis-a-vis death, the better for us.

As they were proceeding on their journey someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nest, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.”

Luke 9:57-58

Discipleship is coming to terms with death, accepting its reality so that we stop wasting our lives with bitterness and resentments to start living joyfully and meaningfully in Christ. I have heard countless of times how most patients including relatives and friends would bargain for more time, for more life because they felt they have not lived fully. As they come face to face with death during sickness or an accident, they beg even for a little time to live fully, proving that “in the end, it is not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.”

Facing death like Jesus Christ is having God as our top priority. Unlike the second and third people Jesus had invited to follow him and asked his permission “to first bury his dead father” and “to first say goodbye to his family.” Jesus is not teaching us to turn away from our family and loved ones; he wants us to always have God and eternal life as our top priorities in life. Like Elisha in the first reading who slaughtered his oxen and cooked them using the yoke and plow as firewood to show he was foregoing everything to follow Elijah as a prophet.

Every disciple is a nomad following Christ, a pilgrim and sojourner whose true home is in heaven with the Father; hence, the importance of thinking always of things of the above, of heaven and of eternal life. St. Ignatius of Loyola calls it the “principle and foundation” in life wherein we do the things that would lead us to salvation and avoid things that would bring us to eternal damnation.

Of course, such a vision about life is not only contrary to the values of the world but even a folly. See how the world tells us to “just do it” and to “obey your thirst” so that we can have easy and comfortable lives, enjoying everything to the fullest by ensuring our security with material wealth. On the other hand, discipleship in Christ as St. Paul reminds us in the second reading is allowing the Holy Spirit to direct our lives because it is the spiritual things that truly fulfill us. What a tragedy especially among affluent nations we hear reports of increasing number of people committing suicides, feeling empty and lost despite their material wealth?!

Jesus alone is our joy and security. In him, trials and sufferings become blessings because they make us stronger and better persons. Most of all, death is neither an end nor an escape in Jesus but a passage to life in the fullest. This is not a simplification of the complex reality of death but an assurance that Jesus had conquered it and had made it into a blessing that we can now discuss and reflect about it.

I know that speaking about death is easier said than done. It may even be Quixotic. But, death is a reality of life we have to face and deal with, even befriend little by little as we age. Reflecting about death is a kind of death itself and at the same time a grace from God who enabled us to face it even in our limited abilities. Let us put our complete faith in Christ, following him resolutely to Jerusalem as his disciples so that when death finally comes to us, we find Jesus by our side. A blessed week to you! Amen.

Facing death

The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul, Tuesday, Easter VII, 04 June 2019
Acts 20:17-27 >< )))*> >< )))*> >< )))*> John 17:1-11
Altar of the Church of All Nations beside the Garden of Gethsemane in the Holy Land. Photo by author, April 2017.

I am hesitant in greeting you a good morning, Lord Jesus Christ. How I wish I could have even a fifth of your courage in facing death. All throughout your life here on earth, you faced death squarely. You were never caught by surprise.

Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come.”

John 17:1

In the first reading, St. Paul also spoke about his coming death when he summoned the leaders of the church in Ephesus to a meeting in Miletus where he told them that after that meeting, they would never see his face again.

Every day, Lord, we face death every time we make choices and decisions. But rarely are we aware about death with the capital “D” except when we are in extreme danger or when diagnosed with the big “C”.

Last night as I prayed, I got focused about facing death. I am afraid, Lord even though I know that when it comes, I will not feel anything. The pain would be with those I would leave behind, with those who love me and care for me. Yet, I am still afraid.

And that is when you consoled me, making me realize that what is most terrifying with death is when we fail to live authentically. When we waste every opportunity to live fully because coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life too!

That is the reason why you – and the saints – were never afraid with death. That is part of the joy of Easter, of living authentically.

Help us, O Lord, to live truthfully, and fully in your love and mercy so that when our time comes, we have no regrets leaving this life on earth because while still here, we are already one with you in the Father (Jn.17:3).

We pray also for those who are terminally ill, undergoing surgery and other medical procedures today, for those languishing in jail especially those who are innocent, for those barely surviving the many trials of every day living trying to make ends meet. Comfort them, Lord Jesus with your healing presence. Amen.

A sculpture of Jesus’ Agony at the Garden below a window of the Church of All Nations beside the Garden of Gethsemane. Photo by author, April 2017.
Did our prayer help you?
Share us your thoughts and prayers too.
Follow our blog for your daily recipe for the soul.
God bless!
fr nick

I forgive only when you remember

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 07 May 2019

We are now traveling to the Mt. Sinai area to cross into Egypt. As I have been telling you, this is my third time in the Holy Land and Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Memorial of Israel. I shall write later of my reflections but below is my email written the first time I came here:

23 June 2005
Shalom everyone!
Until now, I could still feel the impact Yad Vashem had on me.
 I would just like to add here a story shared with us by Ronnie before our tour….
 Accdg to Ronnie, he acted as a guide to a group of young Americans at the Yad Vashem last summer.  They met a Jewish woman who survived the holocaust after their tour and told them firsthand her own experience from the Auschwitz camp.
The young tourists were so touched with her story, of how she had lost her parents, siblings and friends.  As she wiped her tears, a young man asked the survivor:  have you forgiven the people who killed your family?
And Ronnie said, the woman replied this way: I could only forgive if you would always remember.
We were also so touched with the story and the woman’s declaration:  I could only forgive if you would always remember.

One of my favorite philosopher is Martin Heidegger, a German existentialist who, unfortunately, was blinded by Hitler’s rhetorics in the beginning but later denounced Nazism.
According to Heidegger, we are all “beings of forgetfullness”; he explained that this is the main reason why we always lead “inauthentic living.”
And that is true.  We always have to remember the past not to take tally of how we were hurt or maltreated by others; we remember the painful past so that we would not repeat it and do them again onto others.
It is so sad that in our lives, we keep on remembering how we got inflicted with wounds so that we could wound others; hence, what we have is a vicious circle of violence and retributions.
That I think is the essence of “learning from history”—-of not repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
This is often at the root of many of our problems in our dealings with other people:  parents, priests, teachers, supervisors or almost anyone who always remember the difficulties they have gone through when they were younger; we are sometimes guilty of harking at our painful past and get even with those presently under us.  And the pains and the hurts increase, forgetting the lessons that could have been learned.
Our country is in deep, deep, deep crises because we are mostly “beings of forgetfullness”—we have a poor sense of history, we can’t remember the lessons of the past because we did not learn at all or just maybe, preoccupied with getting even or vengeance.
Forgiving does not mean forgetting because that is impossible; God programmed us to always remember so that we could become more loving, more forgiving, more understanding, and more like Him in seeing what’s good in everyone.
At the back of Yad Vashem is a breathtaking view of Jerusalem below.  After seeing and somehow experiencing the horrors of the Holocaust, I can’t help thinking how come God could accept and allow the Jews, Moslems, and Christians live together in His old city when we can’t even stand the sight or the smell of the person next to us because he is not of same color or creed with us?
God bless!
With my parishioners the other day at Yad Vashem. Many cried at the sights in the museum but we were all touched with the personal story and reflections of our guide, a 70 year old man we fondly call Lolo Mendy. Will write his stories later.
 

Darkest hour, Finest hour

The Lord Is My Chef Recipe for Good Friday, 19 April 2019
Isaiah 52:13-53:12///Hebrews 4:14-16;5:7-9///John 18:1-19:42
Jerusalem at dawn. Photo by author, April 2017.

Yesterday I saw the Maundy Thursday letter of Archbishop Soc Villegas to us his brother priests. I have never had a death threat in my life but have experienced being the subject of a fake news on being dead in 2005. And like the good Bishop Soc, I also asked “why me for doing what is right?”

It was one of the darkest hours in my entire life. I was then assigned at our diocesan school for boys in Malolos when I initiated an investigation on two married teachers allegedly having an affair following a tip from some faculty members. Our school principal who was well-respected by everyone headed the board. After a few days into the investigation, the teachers concerned resigned after realizing the overwhelming evidences their accusers have gathered against them. We were so glad the case was peacefully and easily resolved.

A week later, a teacher woke me up very early morning with a call, asking if the text message they have received was true that I have died of a heart attack past midnight. My immediate response to the teacher was, “why did you call me if I have died already?” She was crying and was so concerned as I listened to her on the phone. Then I asked her to send me the text message, but, later I changed my mind, telling her “what if it were true?”

I was never able to get back to sleep that morning because everybody was asking about the fake news that spread so quickly. I had to call my family to assure them I am very alive and well. By eight o’clock I realized the gravity of the matter: nuns were praying and masses have been offered for my “untimely death” that some priests have in fact came to see me in the school. I tried to brushed it aside, taking it lightly with my usual jokes. I even held my classes that whole day, telling my students that even if I die, I would always come to teach them.

Things became so different later that day for me. Especially when I prayed first in our chapel that evening and later in my room. Alone, I cried, feeling a deep pain within, asking myself what have I done wrong to deserve such a fake news? It was a pain so different, something you could really piercing through one’s self, slashing and shredding every bit of my being. That night I felt I have finally grasped all those existential absurd and pessimistic stuffs by Abert Camus and Soren Kierkegaard. Like what young people would say these days, “gets ko na sila”.

Crucifixion at the altar of the Betania Retreat House, Tagaytay. Photo by author, 2017.

It did not stop there. The “mystery texter” eventually texted me, threatening me of so many things, cursing me that I would suffer so much before I die. With that, I sought help from my friends in the news who referred me to a text scam investigator whom I never met but was so kind to help me for free. With his technical skills plus my news background as well as pastoral psychology, I was able to eventually identify my mystery texter who was a co-teacher of the accusers of the teachers in the illicit affair. It turned out, she was so broken-hearted after being dumped by the male teacher for another co-teacher who was prettier and lovelier than her. And she’s also married! She thought I was protecting the accused male teacher who happened to be an ex-seminarian but later we learned he was notorious in having illicit affairs among his married co-teachers.

She eventually resigned from our school in 2006 along with her group of co-teachers who all end up miserable in life. Their leader got separated from her husband who was caught in the act in another school banging an employee in a vacant room during summer break. Another was widowed. The third just got uglier. And she? She went to teach abroad in 2007 but had to go back home after learning her husband’s extra-marital affairs. She was able to go back to our old school because I never told my rector my findings. After a year and a half, she was fired from our school when the wife of our school driver caught them having an affair. I have never seen her nor her group since I left our school in 2010.

The Cross of Christ atop the church of our Lady of Lourdes in France. Photo by my former student Arch. Philip Santiago during his pilgrimage in 2018.

Thank you for bearing with me with my long story. It is the first time I have shared it with anyone except with one good teacher I have kept as a friend. Since yesterday I have been telling you about the “hour” of Jesus Christ, his passion that started at the Last Supper, culminating at his crucifixion. We said the darkest hour of Jesus Christ is also his finest hour because of his immense love. In the end, it was his love that triumphed over sin and evil. And that is why we call this Friday as Good.

When I recall that episode in my life, I thank God. You know when I was being attacked then by that mystery texter, that was the same year God gifted me my first trip to the US when my Ninang’s daughter got married. Life has become harder for me since then but has become “betterer”.

Of course I was scared at that time, checking on everything I was doing. Everything in my life has to be planned and calculated; I hate surprises that is why I am not fond of gifts, that I do not readily open them. But, was I angry or mad? No. Even at that time. I even pitied our teacher for being fooled. There is still pain in my heart when I remember those people behind those things but overall, I have transcended the episode. And I feel I have been transformed by it. The incident made me more resolved to be good and better as a person, as a priest. Most of all, it had taught me that like Jesus Christ, we always have to make a stand for what is true, what is good, what is just. It is always painful, lonely and scary to be on the cross. But it is on the Cross of Christ where we shine and share in his glory. It is only at the Cross of Christ where we are truly transformed into better persons because of love. It is only on the Cross of Christ where we realize the value and beauty of this gift of life, of every person in our lives that we start living authentically. At the Cross of Christ, we are assured always of a bright new day to get better and stat anew in life. A blessed weekend to you!

The Crucifix by National Artist Napoleon Abueva at the Holy Sacrifice Parish at UP Diliman. Here we find Good Friday and Easter Sunday, Death and Glory of Christ always together, a hairline apart from each other. See also the long arms of Christ that seem to be disproportionate to his body. According to a story, the UP Chaplain who commissioned that crucifix, the Jesuit Fr. John Delaney asked Abueva to make the arms of Christ longer than usual to show Jesus welcomes everyone; there’s a room for everyone in the Lord’s Cross, especially those suffering. Photo from Google.

Praying And Dying with Jesus

The Lord Is My Chef Good Friday Recipe, 19 April 2019
Isaiah 52:13-53:12//Hebrews 4:14-16;5:7-9//John 18:1-19:42
Crucifix at the Fatima Square in Portugal. Photo by Arch. Philip Santiago, October 2018.

The Evangelists tell us that Jesus died on the Cross on a Friday at about 3:00 PM. And they tell us too that our Lord died praying, exactly what most of the Seven Last Words have expressed.  But from the gospel we have heard this afternoon written by the beloved disciple John, we discover something very beautiful: Jesus was very calm and peaceful in his prayer unto death.

After this, aware that everything was now finished, in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I thirst.”  There was a vessel filled with common wine.  So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth.  When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.”  And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.

John 19:28-30

When we are deep in suffering, in severe pain like Jesus on the cross, what do we usually pray? 

Most often, we pray that the terrible ordeal we are going through would finally end or be finished.  And sometimes, due to desperation, we even pray for death, of how we wish God would finally end our life to be free from all the problems and pains we are going through. And we feel death is the solution.

One of the things I have realized about death came from the 1990’s movie “House of Spirits” when the mother played by Meryl Streep told her daughter played by Winona Ryder that “you do not pray for death because death surely comes.” I always tell that to patients I visit who are in deep pain and suffering. I know it is easier than done. But when we reflect on the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ, we discover how he had made death an offering, a gift of self in love. Clearly we find here that his darkest hour is also his finest hour because of love.

Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches. Photo by author, 2016.

In the original Greek text of St. John, the word used to express Jesus Christ’s final prayer “It is finished” is “tetelestai” from the root word “telos” meaning the final end and direction.  It is not just an ending but a direction too. At the start of this year’s Lenten season, we have reflected that life is more about direction than destination. Direction leads to growth and maturity because it is about persons. Destination is just about place and location. 

From the very start, Jesus was clear with His mission, of how it would be accomplished.  He has always been sure of himself, of who he is.  Notice how St. John repeated many times in his account of the Last Supper how Jesus was “fully aware” of everything that was going to happen: he was so composed and serene that he even gave bread to his betrayer Judas Iscariot during their supper.  Last night we heard how Jesus knew everything was coming to end that he washed the feet of his disciples.

When his “hour” had come, Jesus was “fully aware of everything” that he was never left to the whims and powers of his enemies when he went through his Passion, calmly and courageously facing his death on the Cross. He always had the upper hand that he was able to pray “It is finished” because he was so sure of his Resurrection on Easter. In praying “It is finished,” Jesus consecrated not only himself but also all humanity to the Father so that we are able to bear and face death squarely like him.   

Mt. St. Paul Retreat House, Baguio. Photo by author, June 2017.

In the Mass after the consecration of the bread and wine into Christ’s Body and Blood, we proclaim “Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again.” We call it as “the mystery of our faith” because when we say “Christ has died,” we admit that truly, the Son of God went through all kinds of sufferings in life we all go through like betrayal, rejection, loneliness, sickness, hunger, thirst, and yes, even death.  And His sufferings continue as we suffer more in this world marred by evil and sins, making us cry, asking when would these end and be finished. And there lies the mystery of our faith on the Cross that led to Easter: when we look at Jesus Christ on His Cross, we see our own pains and agony as God’s pains and agony too.  Jesus joined us in our anguish and death so that we could experience all the more his immense love for us.  Without Jesus and his Cross, we would never be able to bear or even face the many deaths we go through daily.  May we recognize God’s immense love for us again this afternoon when we venerate the cross and see it as the merging point of human and Divine suffering.  Keep praying with Jesus who has the final say with death at Easter. Amen.

*This is an updated version of my Good Friday reflection last year.

“Ashes to Ashes” by Dennis Lambert (1972)

DSCF1487
Yehliu Geopark in Taiwan with “mushroom” rock formations at the background.  Photo by the author, 30 January 2019.

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music, 17 February 2019

Every year when Valentine’s comes, I only think of one song:  Dennis Lambert’s “Of All the Things”.  It is probably the ultimate love song of all time especially for us die-hard romantic Filipinos that even Sr. Bubbles Bandojo, rc covered it for a Jesuit CD of popular songs often sung in weddings in the country.  No wonder, Dennis Lambert gained a cult following in the country for that song he released in 1972 from the album “Bags and Things”.

Another cut from that great album is “Ashes to Ashes” which I find as a perfect match for our gospel this Sunday about the Beatitudes preached by Jesus Christ during His sermon on the plain based on St. Luke’s gospel.  In the Beatitudes, Jesus tells us true blessedness and happiness in following Him is being poor, hungry, weeping, and hated by others.  They are paradoxical because they run directly against the values of the world and yet, we know deep in our hearts how they are very true!  Life is not about having and amassing but giving and sharing.  Dennis Lambert reminds us that in the end, we are all “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”  And there lies the great paradox in this life that Jesus has always reminded us, “Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses it will save it” (Lk.17:33).  The saints who have followed the Lord knew it so well and lived it through as well as poets, writers and musicians like Lambert wrote about it too.  A blessed Sunday to you!