Marriage, a choice & a gift of Christ

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 July 2024

It is very disappointing that the recent statement of the CBCP on divorce was so unusually soft, trying to balance everything like walking on a thin line, very cautious of not stepping on whoever’s feet or hurting their feelings.

What is most sad is how this statement so watered down unlike the bishops’ previous pronouncements in the last elections supporting a candidate. It is so frustrating for us Catholics when our bishops have repeatedly crossed boundaries getting into partisan politics supporting many election candidates when on this part of our nation’s history they are tepid in standing by the Lord’s flock under attack by fierce and intense pro-divorce lawmakers and supporters. This is the crucial moment when our bishops should rally us more in defending our stand against divorce being the last country where it is still illegal.

We shall have another piece on that later as we continue today our sharing of our past wedding homilies we hope can help you be clarified why we must oppose the divorce bill. Of course, we cannot impose our stand against divorce but we make it clear to everyone why we are against it. After all, it is an informed choice we make guided by the grace of God and the Holy Spirit.

Here is our homily at the wedding at the Manila Cathedral on January 16, 2006 of our very good friend from UST’s the Varsitarian, Dra. Chona T. Capulong and Mr. Stephen Kemp of Kansas.

Twenty three years ago and less than 50 pounds today, our friend and former managing editor Chona had a column at the Varsitarian called “Choice Cuts.”

I will never forget her column with its very catchy title, so well written and most of all, more than 20 years later today, the gospel she had chosen for her wedding speaks about choosing, about choices, Jesus told his disciples, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain…” (John 15:16).

Today we are so blessed to have been called and chosen by Chona and Stephen to be present in this most joyous day of their lives when they pledge their love for each other before God and His people. Let me stress on those words of Jesus saying how we are all “called and chosen to bear fruit.”

So beautiful.

God calling and choosing us to bear fruit. The all-knowing God making a choice for us and should we be glad and grateful for that!?

When God calls and chooses us, He does not remove our freedom which is the ability to choose what is good, not simply whatever you want. What happens is that when God calls and chooses us, this gift of freedom is actually enhanced because the Ultimate Good shows us what’s best for us.

That God choosing us rather than us choosing Him is evidently true in friendships and marriage. Chona is from this city of Manila, thousands of kilometers from Wichita, Kansas where Stephen comes from.

How they have met and be in love is a long story; what matters is the choice made by God for them and how they cooperated in that choice.

Most often, whenever we make a choice, it is oriented towards success and triumph. We always make it a point that it would be advantageous for us and most of all, easy and convenient because as much as possible, we want lesser problems and lesser risks.

Being successful, whether in life or in marriage or in business is characterized and based on strength and powers, of how we are able to control situations and bend them to our own advantage. It is about power.

On the other hand, when God makes a choice for us, it is different.

When God makes a choice for us, it is always difficult and never convenient, slow and time-consuming. Most of all, God’s choice always entails sacrifices from our part because, it is so good that we have to be emptied first in order to receive such a beautiful gift like marriage.

When God makes a choice for us, it is always based on our weakness and vulnerabilities. God is not concerned with our being “successful” but more with being fruitful because in this life, especially in marriage, it does not really matter what or how much we have achieved but what have we become.

We may have all the wealth and power in the world, all the success but, what have we become?

Have we been more loving, more forgiving, more understanding, more generous, more honest, more faithful?

Bearing fruit is different from being successful in the sense that when God makes the choices for us, He makes us into better persons, becoming the best husband or best wife or the best person in the world. This He does by letting us come to terms with our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities, emptying ourselves of these impurities and being filled by God’s goodness and holiness.

Being fruitful in marriage means being able to understand and accept, even own because of love the shortcomings of a spouse or of those around us. Being fruitful in life or in marriage is being able to bear all the pains and hardships of life because like in gardening, it is the constant pruning of trees and plants that lead to more blossoms and fruits. It is being like Jesus Christ who willingly accepted His Cross because of His great love for us. He did not remove the Cross but made it holy instead.

*Photo by Joseph Kettaneh on Pexels.com*

Chona and Stephen, this wedding is already a fruit of that call and choosing by Jesus on you. After so many pains and hurts as well as sacrifices from both of you, this day had finally come for both of you to stand before the altar of God and offer yourselves to His plans and choices. This is not the end but the beginning of more pains and hurts and sacrifices.

I am not scaring you, Chona and Stephen; however, may this wedding be an assurance for for both of you that, although there would be more problems and difficulties and trials waiting for you along the way of your married life, be assured of the great glory and fruitful life ahead for both of you.

Continue to cooperate with God’s choices for you by leading a life of faith, hope and love rooted in prayers. Jesus had called and chosen you, Chona and Stephen; Jesus would always be with you because He knows what’s best for you. Amen.

Stephen died a few years ago before the COVID pandemic but our friend Chona had remained firm in her faith in God, raising their daughter into a lovely young lady she is now. Last week, Chona told me how proud and happy she is her daughter is going to take her college abroad, away from her!

So glad that despite her fears as a mother, she had allowed her daughter to study abroad, believing, of course, it is God’s choice for her to eventually become a better woman someday. May we be faithful not only in our duties and responsibilities but especially with the people entrusted to us by God whom He had chosen to become parts of our lives.

God in our decadent period

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday in the Twelfth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 26 June 2024
2 Kings 22:8-1`3, 23:1-3 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 7:15-20

*Photo by author, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.*

Keep us faithful to You,
God our Father;
keep us searching for You
especially in the Sacred Scriptures
to learn and listen to your words
that are ever-present and true
and relevant.

The high priest Hilkiah informed the scribe Shaphan, “I have found the book of the law in the temple of the Lord.” Hilkiah gave the book to Shaphan, who read it. The scribe Shaphan also informed the king that the priest Hilkiah had given him a book, and then read it aloud to the king. When the king had heard the contents of the book of the law, he tore his garments and issued this command… “Go, consult the Lord for me, for the people, for all Judah, about the stipulation of this book that has been found, for the anger of the Lord has been set furiously ablaze against us, because our fathers did not obey the stipulations of this book, nor fulfill our written obligations” (2 Kings 22:8, 10-12, 13).

Your words,
Your will,
Your laws are
always among us
especially in Jesus Christ,
the Word who became flesh
and dwelt among us;
but, how sad especially
in this decadent period
and age despite our many 
advances in science and technology,
we have morally retrogressed
as many people who are also believers
in You choose to believe the
false prophets in our midst -
influencers in the social media 
who peddle lies, massaging the minds 
of many people too lazy to think
and pray, preferring to follow the
many vogues and trends that
lead nowhere but destruction;
there are also the modern gnostics
claiming to be progressive 
and liberal in their thinking
espousing themselves as more
fair and inclusive but actually 
followers of dictatorship of 
relativism who allow everything
in the name of inclusivity 
without responsibility.

Teach us, O Lord Jesus,
in the way of your decrees;
most of all, 
let us look hard on
the fruits of every prophet
who promise to lead us
to fulfillment and truth.
Amen.

Remaining in Christ

The Lord Is My Chef Easter Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Fifth Sunday in the Easter Season, Cycle B, 28 April 2024
Acts 9:26-31 ><}}}}*> 1 John 3:18-24 ><}}}}*> John 15:1-8

From the Good Shepherd last Sunday, Jesus today declares himself as the “true vine”. Notice that qualifier true vine similar with last Sunday’s good shepherd because Jesus “lays down his life for the sheep” (Jn. 10:11, 17, 18); so we ask, was there an untrue vine?

Yes. Jesus was referring to Israel, God’s vineyard lavished with all his care but produced wild grapes as portrayed in Isaiah’s “Vineyard Song” that he vowed to take it away and plant a new vine fulfilled in Christ (Is. 5:1-7). Jesus as the true vine is an expression of his Incarnation, of how God in Jesus Christ became human like us in everything except sin so that we in turn would become like him, holy and divine. This can only be when keep that union intact by remaining in Christ.

Jesus said to his disciples: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower. He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and every one that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit. You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you. Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me.
John 15:1-4

*Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com*

Our scene is now at the Last Supper, after the washing of the feet of the disciples. Judas had already left and Jesus began his series of discourses capped with his high priestly prayer after which they proceeded to Gethsemane for his betrayal and arrest.

Imagine the solemnity of the scene, of how Jesus had shown the Twelve the meaning of his being the good shepherd laying down his life by taking the bread and wine as his Body and Blood given to everyone. All these will have its fullness on Good Friday at the Cross while it would take some time after Easter and Pentecost when the disciples will finally grasp and understand its meanings.

We are not just going back to a past event, to what Jesus had done. In declaring himself as the true vine, Jesus reveals to us himself truly God and Risen from the dead, telling us how we can share in the joy and mystery of his Resurrection. And that is by remaining in Jesus first above all, “Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me.”

*Photo by Dra. Carol Reyes-Santos, MD at Napa Valley, California, 2023.*

See how in eight verses, Jesus used the word “remain” eight times because it is not enough Jesus is the true vine in whom we are blessed and become fruitful; we must remain in him too.

There is no doubt of Jesus remaining in us which is what his being a true vine is all about; unlike Israel in the Old Testament that produced wild grapes, Jesus can no longer be uprooted because he is God himself who had become one in us. But, are we one in him and with him?

To remain is more than physical like to stay. A branch remaining, staying intact with the vine but had turned yellow and dried up is clearly not one with the vine. We can be inside the church but be detached with everyone and the celebration. We may be staying or residing in the same address and home but our heart and very self may be so far away from our siblings or parents, or from your wife or husband.

Remaining implies something more than physical presence. To remain is to have a relationship, a bonding that is deep and intimate. To remain is to be of one heart as GMA7 claims to be a kapuso which is more important than being a kapamilya or a kapatid. There is no sense of being a family (kapamilya) when there is no love in the family or at the other hand, a sibling (kapatid) is nothing if the brother or sister is your enemy. We remain with God and everyone when our hearts are attuned or inclined to God and with others in love which is the fruit of the vine, Jesus Christ.

We can only bear much fruit, be more loving, if we remain in Jesus Christ. It is an imperative, therefore in this life that we remain in Christ for without him, separated him, we can do nothing. Fruit and love are always together as shown in the institution narrative and on Good Friday.

Being fruitful is more than being successful that is often seen and measured in material things. Being fruitful, being more loving is spiritual in nature, can never be measured with what we have but what have we given. Most of all, being fruitful is depending, relying more in Jesus Christ than in one’s self. That is why remaining in Christ is a prerequisite to be fruitful.

We remain in Jesus in prayer when he said, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you” (Jn. 15:7). But, prayer here as in most parts of the gospel does not mean asking God for anything; to remain in Jesus in prayer is to ask for God himself. It is only in having God we can truly love and experience joy and peace within despite the many trials and pains we go through in life.

In the first reading we have heard how Paul, still known as Saul arrived in Jerusalem and “tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple” (Acts 9:26). It must have been so difficult for Saul as well as for the early Christians too to welcome him! Saul must have a hard time convincing them he had really changed, that he had been converted in Christ while he must also understand the feelings of the Christians whom he persecuted before.

Let us keep in mind too that Saul’s conversion did not necessarily mean an end of their persecution; in fact, persecutions would turn more fierce later but it was during that time when the church grew so fast and wide too! That was because they remained in Christ who caused their efforts to bear much fruits no one expected.

Look back into our lives and see how when we remained in Christ and problems never stopped but that is when we are more fruitful, more fulfilled in life. Like our responsorial psalm this Sunday, “we praise the Lord in the midst of the assembly” to thank God from our hearts for all the blessings he bestows us like inner growth and maturity, feeling fruitful not just successful. Indeed, as the beloved disciple rightly noted in our second reading today, “God is greater than our hearts and knows everything” (1 Jn. 3:20).

This Sunday, Jesus is telling us “I am the true vine” to show us how God’s life is now in us through Christ and how our life is in God still through Christ. Let us remain in Jesus as he continues to reveal to us who he really is, our Lord and God, so we can share in the many joys and mysteries of his Resurrection. Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ,
let me remain in You;
let me stay in You
when things are so difficult
and let me still remain in You
when life is so beautiful;
let me be near  and close
to You as You are in me,
speaking Your words,
doing Your will;
in my remaining in You,
may I be fruitful by bringing
others closer to You so that
in the end, we all remain
one in You.
Amen.