40 Shades of Lent by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Thursday after Ash Wednesday, 19 February 2026 Deuteronomy30:15-20 +++ Luke 9:22-25
Can my life, or life itself be separated from you, my God?
Then he said to all, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it" (Luke 9:23-24).
As I immerse myself to your words today, Jesus, I remember so many occasions when I was younger always trying to save my life, simply clinging to my life, or asserting my life, that's when I lost in every count: it seems to me now that when we are young - and strong - we choose ourselves more, insist on ourselves, even shouting deep within "It's my life"...!
Sad truth is, we lost always as we felt most empty, no direction, no meaning in life. When life is too cushy, without any problems and challenges, that is when life is deep in serious trouble. It is not even life at all but felt like death!
But, Lord, I remember too that since I took that dive, when I thought less of my self, when I started following you, of losing my life for your sake, that was when I found meaning and fullness in life, when I truly save my life; it was a bumpy road, Lord - you know it very well how many times I stopped along the way to choose my own path, even dared leaving you but you were always there waiting for me, walking with me even in the opposite direction just to bring me back to you to gain my life in you.
Glory and praise to you, Lord Jesus! Your words are not just a rhetoric, nor a poetic overstatement of a guru or a teacher but actualizing words of the Son of God, our Savior and Messiah; you have given me with so much and I have given you so little; teach me to give more of myself to you so that I can give myself to others by giving more of you in loving service.
Let me choose you always, Jesus, for life itself cannot be separated from you who is life yourself. Amen.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 January 2026
Photo by Ar. Philip Santiago, Basilica of the Annunciation, Israel, October 2025.
Two priests and a former nun personally known to me died in our diocese last Sunday. It was also the birthdate of the late Bishop Cirilo Almario, Jr. whom I had remembered in my two early morning Masses on that Sunday, January 11, 2026.
In those two Masses too I mentioned in my homily the retreat I facilitated first week of January with my friends about “ageing gracefully” – my own realizations since joining their ranks as senior citizens last March.
Let me elaborate those two points I have shared with them and in my homily last Sunday.
From forbes.com.
First, let us embrace our being old. Stop saying “when we get old”, pagtanda natin because we are already old. Period. Matanda na tayo.
We cannot reverse our ageing process and it is useless to have all these cosmetic manipulations like dyeing our hair black or stretching our sagging skin and removing those wrinkles.
Embrace old age. It is beautiful and wonderful because it is so good. Our Filipino word for “old” says it all – matanda – which ironically so many women hate to hear as they stress that kalabaw lang ang tumatanda. That is not true.
Our word matanda is from the root word tanda which means “sign” that is why an old person is rightly called matanda because he/she is a sign of God’s goodness, a sign of God’s mercy and love, a sign of God’s beauty and majesty.
Moreover, a matanda is a sign of wisdom and grace that is why when we were young boys, we wanted to be old by putting our dad’s eyeglasses or taste his cigarettes and beer while girls put on their mom’s make up and high heeled shoes. How funny that when we are already old, we resist to accept the fact that we strive to look young again, sometimes ending up as nagmumurang kamatis.
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.
Technically speaking, “old” is actually harsh. Old is something about a past phase that has ran its course like being outdated. Luma in Filipino that connotes stale, passe, lacking relevance and sadly, useless. Just for display purposes. As a person, that is the one we refer to as walang pinagkatandaan. Or huklubang matanda.
To be more specific, the better English term referring to ageing gracefully is ancient that exudes with a sense of timeliness, of being perpetually relevant like the ancient ruins in Rome, Athens, and Jerusalem. Actually, some biblical experts have wanted to rename the “Old Testament” as “Ancient Testament” following this line of thinking.
Photo by author, Ephesus, Turkiye, November 2025.
Things and even persons can rightly be referred to as ancient because of their beauty still intact that inspires us and makes us wonder about life itself. They are not just old sites nor old persons that remind us of the past long gone but ancient because still lovely, “still full of sap and green” as the psalmist extolled the seniors of his time.
Persons who age gracefully like ancient sites stir our inner selves with deeper beauty and realities of life that eyes cannot see. That is perhaps the reason these days many senior men and women are so “in” and considered as attractive.
It is the same wisdom realized by St. Augustine when he wrote about God, “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you. You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.”
Being ancient -whether as a person or a thing – is something of the inside we must turn to not outside like our skin and physical body. From that inside realization and acceptance of being senior or elderly we experience the grace of ageing because we experience God still present in us, in fact loving us more as he makes as a sign or tanda of his loving presence.
Ageing gracefully is a modern virtue we need to cultivate in this age of instants that glorify youthfulness equated with usefulness. That is why when Pope Benedict XVI resigned from the Papacy in 2013, the more I have come to love and admire him. In his resignation, he taught us the importance of embracing and lovingly accepting our old age when we can no longer adequately perform our many tasks in office even in life itself. It was not a failure nor a surrender in the negative sense but more of a deep courage and trust in God that we accept our being weak and ready to come to him soon.
Photo by author, Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales, May 2025.
This brings me to my second realization since turning sigisty years old last year: corollary to embracing old age is accepting death. That is why, as seniors, let us stop saying and thinking of our coming death because we are already dying. Huwag na nating isipin yung “kapag namatay ako” dahil namamatay na nga tayo.
Being senior is doing away with those bucket lists, of thinking about things to do, places to visit before we die. We are already dying and hence, whatever you can do, do it now. There could be no more tomorrow. All we have is the present moment. Anything could happen to us, for better and for worse.
Ageing gracefully is coming to terms with life which leads us to coming to terms with death. Yes, this is easier said than done, but slowly, I am learning and loving it!
Photo by author, Bucharest, Romania, November 2025.
One of the reasons that made me decide to become a priest in the early 1990’s was the conviction that I have felt so deeply God’s love for me as a person in the many experiences I have gone through in life. I felt at that time that by becoming a priest, I could convince more people about the truth and existence of this loving God we have.
I still hold on to that but a year after turning sigisty, becoming sigisty-one in March 22, another fascinating realization I have had is how wonderful this life is. Now that I am old, the more I can boldly claim with conviction that it is good to be alive. Masarap pa rin ang mabuhay! Maganda ang buhay maski mahirap!
Accepting and embracing our ageing, our getting weak, our failing memory are all kinds of dying. And in that midst that we actually live fullest and meaningfully. I don’t know if I can write any further because I ain’t dead yet but… just in case, it was worth the trip. Amen. May you have a fruitful and fulfilling weekend ahead.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 07 July 2025
Photo by author.
For the first time in 25 years since daddy’s passing, I did not deliver any homily during his death anniversary Mass in our home last June 17, 2025. My sisters readily agreed when I told them after the gospel proclamation “hindi na ako mag-homily at baka maiyak lang tayo.”
It was the second time we celebrated daddy’s death anniversary after mommy’s passing last May 7, 2024 but, it was only at that time when I truly felt the deeper realities of both parents being gone, of being “ulilang lubos”.
Perhaps that’s because we have been preoccupied for over two decades with mommy’s grief when dad passed away right on her 61st birthday before dawn of June 17, 2000. We were at a loss how to pacify her with such a surreal date for the two most loving couple we have known first hand. During my dad’s wake, we have to warn everybody not to mention anything about mom’s birthday.
From then on, mommy practically stopped celebrating her birthday even when she turned 70, 75, and 80 as we threw small gatherings at home for her siblings and friends but she would always remind us all not to forget it was also daddy’s death anniversary.
That is why I have always dreaded the days approaching June 17 because I felt sad for her. I thought after her death last year, it would be different because we would no longer see mommy sad on her birthday mourning dad’s death. I told myself, “hindi na malulungkot si mommy… hindi na rin kami malulungkot.”
But I was wrong.
Hindi na nga malungkot ang mommy ko ngayon pero ako naman ang malungkot – malungkot na malungkot. Noon ngang araw ng Linggo bago mag-June 17, naalala ko ang mommy at daddy bigla kaya naluha ako sa bahagi ng Ama Namin noong aming Misa sa Dambana.Wala na sila dito. Iyon una ko nadama, ulila na nga kami at saka pa lamang naisip ko magkasama na sila sa buhay na walang hanggan.
Indeed, the pains of losing our loved ones never decrease through time but actually increase. Those pains will remain until we are reunited with them in death and eternity.
There are pains in life meant to remain, that cannot be removed like a hole or a scar in our hearts not to burden nor hurt us but to uplift us actually. These wounds keep us in persevering in love to keep our relationships alive with those left behind after the deaths of our loved ones like parents or children. These wounds enable our hearts to sing of faith, hope and love in God all merciful who would one day unite us all together as one family after our days on this earth. These pains make us see the very thin line separating us from eternity, telling us that life goes on among us even after death. They open our eyes to see beyond, to have visions of the future.
Photo by author, my mom’s kitty bank, 10.5 inches to the tip of ears.
While these things were running through me during our family dinner that night, my brother presented to me mommy’s “kitty bank” which is older than I am, 61 years old. It is one of her most cherished possessions she truly took great care as far as I can remember.
I have been thinking about it recently if it were still around though I never had any interest with it when growing up as a child except that I enjoyed counting the rare coins inside mostly dating back to the American occupation with the usual designs of the US flag and an eagle.
That evening on dad’s 25th death anniversary that could have been mom’s 86th birthday if she were still alive today, I felt a very strong attraction with that “kitty bank” whose face seemed to be speaking to me.
Photo by author, my mom’s kitty bank, circa 1964.
As I held it closer to see its many fissures and tapes following the wear and tear of over 60 years, I saw mommy again, of how she loved us and life so much, especially cats, dogs and fish, and most of all, plants- being a certified tita herself. Our house may be small but mommy lovingly took care of her pets and plants, always talking with them even after having a stroke.
Like the cat with its nine lives, death is never the end but the prelude to new life or, more lives hereafter.
And that is the nobility and giftedness of every mother – even after they are gone, they continue to bring forth and nurture life. God bless everyone… and the cats.
Lord My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II' Monday in the Fifth Week of Easter, 19 May 2025 Acts 14:5-18 ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> + ><]]]]'> John 14:21-26
Photo by author, Cabo da Roca Villas, Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales, 15 May 2025.
Your words today, O Lord are very amusing: in the first reading we have the people at Lystra insisted on making Paul and Bernabas as "gods" after they have healed a crippled man from birth while in the gospel we felt you personally speaking to us too along with your disciples at the Last Supper of how in our love for you and with each other that we become divine like you.
Judas, not the Iscariot, said to him, “Master, then what happened that you will reveal yourself to us and not to the world?” Jesus answered and said to him, “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him” (John 14:22-24).
How lovely, dear Jesus are your words: you never left us, you continue to speak to us in the Holy Spirit you sent to enlighten our minds and our hearts so we may continue to love you in one another; more than a feeling as most people believe these days, love is a response to a loving, meaningful relationship in you; love is our deeper connection with you and with each other; without love, we are mere humans, not persons, without relationships, most of all, without meaning and direction in life.
Let us love, love, and love more, Jesus so we may find and recognize you in ourselves and in others, especially the weakest and poorest among us. Amen.
Photo by author, Cabo da Roca Villas, Pundaquit, San Antonio, Zambales, 15 May 2025.