A wedding and a funeral

Lord My Chef Wedding Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Homily, Wedding of Ellah and John Victor
Santuario de San Jose Parish, Greenhills, Mandaluyong
27 December 2025

A former student in our girls’ high school invited me to officiate her wedding last December 27, 2025; we were supposed to meet December 20 before my Simbang Gabi in our university chapel for my formal invitation when her father died suddenly that same afternoon while on a trip down south with his fellow big-bikers.

Ellah was so devastated with the news, wanting to reset her wedding. She has been working overseas for the past three years and had saved enough for her wedding day. Her only request from her parents who have separated when she was in elementary was for them to be together when she gets married. And they willingly obliged for their unica hija. And then tragedy struck exactly a week before her wedding day that happened to be the feast day of St. John Evangelist, the beloved disciple of the Lord. Sharing with you my homily on that bittersweet day of wedding of a beloved student and funeral of her father.

*Photo by Joseph Kettaneh on Pexels.com*

Congratulations, Ellah and JV on this most joyous day of your lives.

I know, it must be so difficult for you, Ellah but I am so glad that you still pushed through with your wedding today as planned. Your dad would not be happy if you had this postponed.

Showbiz ka rin talaga, Ellah! Parang cine – a wedding and a funeral.

But, let it be clear with you both, Ellah and JV that God willed it for you get married today on the feast of Jesus Christ’s beloved disciple St. John the Apostle and Evangelist. God wanted you to be married this day – not next year nor next month, nor last year. This is the day that the Lord has made for you to seal your love at His altar in this beautiful church because God has great plans for you, Ellah and JV.

Our gospel is so beautiful – the story of Easter when Jesus Christ rose from the dead.

On the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, “They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.” So Peter and the the other disciple went out and came to the tomb (John 20:1,2-3).

*“The Three Marys” (1910), painting by American Henry Osawa Tanner from biblicalarchaeology.org.*

Here we find a most beautiful image of human relationships, of how a woman needs a man, and a man’s readiness to be at her side, to comfort and accompany the woman.

Just like you today, Ellah and JV.

Of course, Mary Magdalene and Simon Peter were both disciples of Jesus. They have no romantic relationships. But, the mere fact that Mary thought of reporting the missing body of Jesus to Peter being the leader of the Apostles speaks a lot to us these days when gender equality is overextended.

A woman needs a man for leadership that is why he is the man of the house. This we find in the rite of putting on veil on the newly-weds: only the head of the woman is covered because in every family, in every couple there is only one head, one leader – the man. Wherever there are two heads, it means there is a monster. There can be no order in any relationship when everyone is the leader or the head. This is most especially true in every couple.

However, let it be clear too that these mutual need of woman for man and man for woman is always governed by love which is more than a feeling but a decision, a meeting of one’s mind and heart. If your read the letters of St. John like what we have in our first reading today, you will realize three important lessons by the beloved disciple about LOVE:

First, God is the source of love.

Ellah and JV, remain rooted in God for “God is love.” If there is one thing you have found so clear in your lives since college, Ellah and JV, God has always been there with you. His abiding love never forsake you both, especially in your most trying times. Keep serving Him in your parish, in your lives, in your married life. Handle life with prayer.

Second, St. John tells us that love is not merely said in words but proven in deeds and works.

Walk your talk of “I love you.” One of the things I ask couples preparing for marriage is, who should be the first to greet, to speak when you have an LQ? Sino dapat maunang kumibo kapag nag-away ang mag-asawa o magkasintahan?

Many say it should be the man but I ask them whatever happened to the principle of ladies first? On the other hand, some say whoever caused the quarrel must be the one to apologize but the problem is, would anyone admit fault? The answer is simple but difficult to practice: whoever has more love to give must be the first to blink, must be the first to make the move. Love in any relationship is not a competition. Just keep on loving and loving. Show and make your love felt in actions. Not just words.

Third, very clear with St. John that love is always self-giving.

The true measure that you have loved is when you are able to love somebody else more than yourself. Love is always the giving of self.

In another part of his letter, St. John beautifully wrote that “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1Jn.4:12).

Remember, Ellah and JV, Jesus is always between the two of you, not in front nor at your back. Whatever you do to each other, you do it first to Jesus. When you work hard JV and become patient with the tantrums of Ellah, you first become loving to Jesus and then to Ellah. The same with you Ellah: when you take care of JV, when you cook his favorite meal, you are first loving Jesus then JV. But, the moment you become mean to each other, when you become unfaithful to each other, Ellah and JV, you become unloving first to Jesus and then to each other.

Wedding is not everything, Ellah and JV. There will be dark days and difficult times ahead of you, just like now as you grieve at the death of your dad, Ellah.

But, remember Ellah and JV your gospel today: Easter happened when it was dark; the tomb was empty because Jesus had risen from the dead. Like in life, whenever it is dark and empty, hold on to each other Ellah and JV, have faith in God for there in your midst is Jesus Christ.

Never lose hope in life; as I used to teach you Ellah in high school, hopelessness is the opposite of love, not hatred. The moment you find no hope in everyone and in everything, then you stop loving and that is when you start destroying everything and everyone. Never lose that hope and you will always find love, Ellah and JV. God bless you more and blessed Merry Christmas!

Easter is openness and emptiness

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Easter Sunday, 17 April 2022
Acts 10:34, 37-43  ><}}}*>  Colossians 3:1-4  ><}}}*>  John 20:1-9

*Photo by author, Mirador Jesuit Villa and Retreat House, Baguio City, January 2019.*

Easter is one big event composed of so many stories of openness and emptiness that all started and were prepared at Holy Thursday and Good Friday. In fact, our celebration today is the one we have prepared these past 40 days of Lent and what a tragedy – and a foolishness – when people skip Easter!

Easter is so big an event that beginning today until the Pentecost – all 50 days are counted as one big day for we cannot contain all the joy and mysteries of Christ’s Resurrection in just one day or even one week.

Most of all, the joy of Easter is a reality that continues to happen to us everyday as we join Jesus Christ in our daily passover or pasch by remaining open and empty in him, with him, and through him.

On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, “They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don’t know where they put him.” So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb.
John 20:1-3

One of the many rituals I began having since turning 50 years old was preparing my daily medicines which I put into those little boxes with labels of the day of the week and time like morning, mid-morning, noon, evening and bed-time. For those of my generation, I’m sure you can relate so well that it is like playing sungka when we were kids!

Last Monday as I prepared my meds and reflections for the Holy Week and Easter, I noticed how it has become more difficult to open bottles, boxes and packets of medicines that all come with a reminder, “Do not accept if seal is broken”. In an instance, I realized how we have been so conscious with our safety and privacy these days that everything now goes so tightly sealed with a lot of other safety features to prevent it from contamination and hacking that include food and drinks, gadgets like cellphones and computers, and smart devices. It is more difficult and frustrating for non-techies and forgetful like me when online bank accounts and various social media accounts require many verifications and updating of passwords due to threat of scams and other cybercrimes.

How ironic that the more we are supposed to be free and mobile, when life is meant to be easier and enjoyable but in reality, the more we are locked up to ourselves for fears of being hurt or disrespected, even killed!

And so, instead of opening, the more we close in, the more we hide, the more we become secretive, worst, the more we are imprisoned by our own devices as the Eagles claimed in their classic hit in the 70’s, Hotel California.

*Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte, sunrise at Atok, Benguet, 2019.*

Easter is opposite: the grace of this event and season is experienced and received when we open ourselves to the many new possibilities in life Jesus himself had opened for us when he rose from the dead conquering evil and sin.

Like that stone in his empty tomb, Jesus had removed everything that have locked us inside our insecurities and fears, sins and failures, pains and hurts in the past so that we can go out freely each day to face the world with joy in order to grow and mature as persons.

Jesus had removed everything that blocks us and prevents us from seeing the many beauties and wonders life offers us found in the people God sends us to express his love and care, mercy and kindness for us.

But, are we also open to him and to life itself?

In the first reading, Peter spoke to the people of Jerusalem, asking them to open themselves to the truth about Jesus as the Christ sent by God to save us from our sins being his witnesses to “what had happened in Judea that started in Galilee” (Acts 10:34).

Recall last night how Luke in his version of the Resurrection recorded the two Angels telling the women who had come to the empty tomb to stop “seeking the living among the dead” (Lk.24:5).

Being open means breaking the news to others that Jesus is risen with our very lives full of joy and hope. Unlike Mary of Magdala and Simon Peter on that early morning of Easter, we need to be empty first of our suppositions and doubts about Jesus Christ. See how they at first doubted the empty tomb but later especially after Pentecost, they all proclaimed the good news of salvation of Jesus Christ.

Being open to Jesus and being empty of doubts of his Resurrection mean that we have to focus more of the things of above, of the more essential than the superficial and fleeting.

Please forgive me but I felt so sad with the people during the celebrations these Holy Thursday and Good Friday: so many of us are trapped in those little cellphone cameras spending more time recording the beautiful rites we have had after two years of lockdown. Experience the moments! Experience Jesus Christ, experience the person next to you! Keep those cellphones during celebration of the Sacraments which is the saving presence of Jesus! Remove the “media” and be actually present.

Maybe you have seen that cartoon of the Resurrection before pandemic when Jesus was surprised coming out of the tomb with people waiting for him with their cellphones; yes, it is funny but the joke is on us. We have been trapped and imprisoned by these gadgets that we have stopped living in reality and more in virtual reality so that many of us are no longer grounded, so out-of-touch, even alienated with self, others and sadly, with God.

Brothers and sisters: If then you were raised with Christ, seek what is above… Think of what is above, not of what is on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ your life appears, then you too will appear with him in glory.
Colossians 3:1-4

Open yourself to Jesus, empty yourself of all fears and doubts. Be kind and be gentle with yourself. Jesus had forgiven you, forgive yourself for your sins and mistakes in the past if you have confessed these or gone to confessions this Lenten season.

Move on with the present moment, dare to go out and challenge yourself to learn again, to work again, to love again, to dream again! COVID-19 may still be around but Jesus Christ is stronger, so let us rise again from our sickness and diseases! Let us not be afraid of the giant stone covering us for Jesus had removed it so that we can go out and celebrate life in him.

Lord Jesus Christ,
let me celebrate the joy of your
Resurrection not only today but everyday
by being open to your daily coming
 by emptying myself of my pride;
like the disciple whom you love,
let me believe in your rising again
by being contented with the little
signs of life and order you give me,
with the little bursts of joy and light
that assure me that it is you whom
I follow each day.  Amen.

The “ins and outs” to the Lord

The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Wednesday, Week XVII, Year I in Ordinary Time, 28 July 2021
Exodus 34:29-35 ><]]]]*> + ><]]]]*> + ><]]]]*> Matthew 13:44-46

*Photo by author, Church of Dominus Flevit overlooking Jerusalem, 2017.*

How lovely are your words today,
God our loving Father
leading us the way closer to you
through your Son Jesus Christ!
So many times, you lead us to
many detours in life, to many 
coming and going in order to
savor your loving presence.

How can we not appreciate
and be awed like your people
in the wilderness who witnessed 
your immense majesty 
on the face of Moses you met
frequently inside your tent
putting on and off the veil
that eventually played a role in our faith.

As Moses came down from Mount Sinai
with the two tablets of the commandments
in his hands, he did not know that the skin
of his face had become radiant 
while he conversed with the Lord.
Whenever Moses entered 
the presence of the Lord to converse
with him, he removed the veil until 
he came out again.  On coming out,
he would tell the children of Israel all
that had been commanded.  Then the
children of Israel would see that the skin
of Moses' face was radiant; so he would
put again the veil over his face until
he went in to converse with the Lord.
(Exodus 34:29, 34-35)

In your eternal wisdom, dear Father,
you eventually removed that veil
in the coming of your Son Jesus Christ
so we can go nearer to you than ever
to be one with you in him
through him, and with him
 by going through the same process
of going in and going out.

Jesus said to his disciples:
"The Kingdom of heaven
is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds
and hides again,
and out of joy goes and sells
all that he has and buys the field.
Again, the Kingdom of heaven
is like a merchant
searching for fine pearls.
When he finds a pearl of great price,
he goes and sells all that he has
and buys it."
(Matthew 13:44-46)

We pray, O Lord, we remain focused
in you alone, learning to adapt,
 willing to let go whatever we hold so that
 even if we do not see you face to face
like your beloved disciple in the empty tomb
 that Easter morn, we may still believe
 even if we only see the veil that covered your face,
wrapped neatly into one place. Amen.

Seeking, awaiting the Lord

The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Feast of St. Mary Magdalene, Disciple of Jesus, 22 July 2021
Song of Songs 3:1-4 ><]]]]'> ><]]]]'> ><]]]]'> John 20:1-2, 11-18

*Painting by Giotto of the Risen Lord Jesus Christ appearing to St. Mary Magdalene from commons.wikimedia.org.*

I wonder, dearest Lord Jesus,
why did you appear to Mary Magdalene
on that Easter morning
but not to Peter and John
who also rushed to the scene?

Mary stayed outside 
the tomb weeping.
And as she wept,
she bent over into the tomb
and saw two angels in white
sitting there, one at the head
and one at the feet where 
the Body of Jesus had been.
(John 20:11-12)

It was the second time 
Mary Magdalene had come 
to your tomb that early morning;
when she found it empty,
she rushed to Peter;
when they found it still empty,
John believed and left with Peter
but Mary remained and stayed,
weeping, hoping to find 
your body, dearest Lord.

And the angels said to her,
"Woman, why are you weeping?"
She said to them,
"they have taken my Lord,
and I don't know whey they laid him."
When she had said this,
she turned around
and saw Jesus there, 
but did not know it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, "Woman,
why are you weeping? 
Whom are you looking for?"
She thought it was the gardener
and said to him, "Sir, if you carried him
away, tell me where you laid him,
and I will take him."  Jesus said to her,
"Mary!"  She turned and said to him
in Hebrew, "Rabbouni," which means
Teacher.  (John 20:13-16)

O sweet Jesus,
forgive us 
when we fail to see you,
when we miss you coming
as we never stay long
to await you in the empty tombs
of our sadness and failures,
broken dreams and 
disappointments and sickness;
teach us to stay longer,
to grieve in you, pour out in you
our hurts and aches,
pains and sorrows;
like that Bride in the
Song of Songs
let us be intense in seeking you
by patiently awaiting you,
remaining in you that we may also say,
"I had hardly left them when I found him
whom my heart loves." (Song of Songs 3:4)

When love among friends
and one another is real,
surely our beloved would appear
only on a higher, different level
of recognition unlike before;
this is the lesson we can glean
from St. Mary Magdalene
when Jesus called her by name,
asking her to touch him not
because at Easter
we have been raised higher
in Christ, much beloved than before.
Let us answer your call,
dear Lord, to proclaim your gospel to all
despite the troubles we have had before.
Grant us the courage
to change our ways and follow you
like St. Mary Magdalene
who had remained pristine and clean
assuring every sinner with a saintly future.  Amen.