When things turn bad in our lives

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Thursday, Memorial of St. Alphonsus Liguori, Bishop & Doctor of Church, 01 August 2024
Jeremiah 18:1-6 ><))))*> + <*((((>< Matthew 13:47-53
Photo by Narasimhan AVPL on Pexels.com
God our Father,
I love your words today,
of You being like a potter that
"Whenever the object of clay
which he was making turned out
badly in his hand,
he tried again,
making of the clay
another object of whatever sort
he pleased.
Then the word of the Lord came to me:
Can I not do to you,
house of Israel,
as this potter has done?
says the Lord.
Indeed, like clay in the hand
of the potter,
so are you in my hands,
house of Israel"
(Jeremiah 18:4-6).
Teach me, Lord
to be docile
and to have faith in You
when things turn out badly
in my life;
let me be like the clay,
pliant and flexible,
permeable and absorbent
easy to be formed;
like St. Alphonsus Liguori
who was at first a very able lawyer
but after losing a case due to a
simple neglect,
he was depressed
that he left his legal profession
to become a priest
who later became a bishop.
How lovely to remember
accomplished people
like St. Alphonsus
committing costly mistakes in life
still given a chance
to become even greater
in your new calling;
remind us, dear Lord,
especially in moments of failures,
in times things turn out so badly
in our lives
how all the beautiful potteries we see
came from the same process of
failures and destruction
in order to be formed into
something even more beautiful
than before.
Amen.

Restore us, O Lord

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Sixteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 23 July 2024
Micah 7:14-15, 18-20 <'[[[[>< + ><]]]]'> Matthew 12:46-50
Photo by Ravi Kant on Pexels.com

Restore us, O god our savior, and abandon your displeasure against us. Will you be ever angry with us, prolonging your anger to all generations? Will you not instead give us life; and shall not your people rejoice in you? Show us, O Lord, your kindness, and grant us your salvation (Today’s Responsorial Psalm 85:5-8).

It has been raining 
for almost a week in many
parts of the country of the world
with images of floods everywhere,
many are perennial ones but
many are so unusual and unheard of;
everybody is complaining,
everybody is blaming
everyone for the disaster
except one's self.
That is why I love the
psalmist's prayer today:
"Restore us, O God our savior";
it has so many meanings
and applications so relevant
these days of rains and floods -
repair and renovate the many
roads and homes destroyed;
but most of all,
bring us back to You, O God;
let us return to You
by finding each one a family
as Jesus taught us
in today's gospel,
"For whoever does the will
of my heavenly Father
is my brother,
and sister,
and mother"
(Matthew 12:50).
Like the remnants of Israel
the Prophet Micah spoke of
in the first reading,
keep me faithful, standing before
You, O Lord in these trying
times of natural and human disasters.
Amen.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Our blessed failures

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 07 July 2024
Ezekiel 2:2-5 ><}}}}*> 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ><}}}}*> Mark 6:1-6
Photo by Mr. Gelo Carpio, Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan, January 2020.

Last week’s readings clarified with us the disturbing mystery of death and sickness are not from God but from the evil enemy. Nothing bad could come from God who is love Himself that is why He sent us Jesus Christ to heal and save us. Should something bad happen to us, God works silently to ensure everything would turn out good for us. Hence, the need for faith.

Today our readings clarify another mystery in life that happens so often that we encounter daily despite our efforts and sacrifices, demanding us for more faith too.  It may be lighter than death or tragedies but still a kind of suffering that is most persistent, even troublesome we refer to as failures like rejections and other weakness we have as humans.

Jesus departed from there and came to his native place, accompanied by his disciples.  When the Sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished… And they took offense at him (Mark 6:1-2,3c).

Photo by author, 2023.

Mark tells us today how our Lord Jesus Christ embraced failure and rejection. Though perfect and powerful, Jesus chose to be weak and powerless, experiencing rejections so that we may become like Him, holy and divine.

If we go by the world’s standard, Jesus and His mission were actually a “failure” after He was rejected by the crowds, shamed and crucified along with two other criminals. But, it was in that failure that Jesus rose again on Easter!

See that small detail Mark noted so well in his story this Sunday, “they took offense at him (Mk.6:3c).” It is that classic case among us humans we say so well in Filipino, “walang personalan, trabaho lang”. Everything is personal because we are all relating beings. Every rejection is personal. However, Jesus is teaching us too that rejection and failures become a problem when we are not able to accept them as a part of our weaknesses as humans.

Photo by author, 2019.

Of course, it is painful. And that’s the good news this Sunday – Jesus is with us in every failure and rejection we go through as He joins us in crossing this life right in our own home and among our own people with all the negative things they throw on us. Jesus must have felt sad too when His own folks “took offense at him.” Rejection is humiliating as we feel to have failed in life. Or worst, as if we are a failure. Even that simple act of being “unfriended” in Facebook is painful, is it not?

However, when we examine failures and rejections, these are not really about us but more on those around us, on those “who took offense at us” that like Jesus, we really can’t perform anything at all because those around us lack faith and not that we are powerless or could not do anything at all. 

This Sunday, Jesus is telling us not to take every failure and rejection personally though it is really very personal. See the other sides of failures in life as these are not really that bad at all! Oftentimes, we are not the problem but those who reject us. Have a heart. Stop those self-pity. Next Sunday after this rejection in Nazareth seen by the Twelve, Jesus would even send them to preach and heal;surely, part of their mission was to face rejection first hand too.

Photo by author, 2023.

Once again, Mark is revealing to us who is Jesus Christ really – truly Divine, the Son of God who spoke with authority, who could heal the sick and raise the dead but at the same time, truly human who embraced rejections and failures, even becoming “powerless” that would reach its highest point on Good Friday.

And to know Jesus more is to have that deep faith in Him which is most essential like a hinge connecting us to Him and other virtues. Even God cannot do anything at all if we do not have faith in Him, if we do not believe Him.  Jesus had said this a few weeks ago when He mentioned the sin agains the Holy Spirit. We can’t even talk of any relationships unless we have faith from which springs love and understanding. 

Most of our failures and pains in life came from this lack of faith in our family like mistrust among husband and wife or among children and parents.  Failures begin when we refuse to believe or have faith in our very selves, with others, and with God. When people lack faith, we have no relationships, no common ground to start anything like simple conversations and dialogue that is more of being with others than a way of thinking through issues and problems.

Photo by author, 2022.

Lately I have been going through some serious reflections in life as friends and colleagues in my former work and past ministries are retiring and getting sick with some of them dying. One thing I have realized is that no one is really so good, so brilliant because each one of us has imperfections and limitations. 

The best managers and pastors I have met and known are those who knew so well how to gather and inspire the best people to work together.

Most of all, when I look back to these great men and women who have taught and formed me in school and work, their most outstanding trait is their courage to be imperfect.  They do not hide their fears and failures, insecurities and mistakes that they were able to see more of what is possible than impossible because they believed in God, in themselves and in others. 

Faith is infectious like disbelief or unbelief. Better choose faith which leads us to life. See how the men and women in the Church who have become saints like St. Paul along with the many statesmen, thinkers, writers, and scientists who were able to shape and change the world by being courageous enough to be imperfect due to their faith. 

Photo by author, Malagos Garden Resort, Davao City, 2018.

God knows our limitations and weaknesses; most of all, our sinfulness yet, He never loses hope in us that He continues to call us to be converted, even sending us prophets who at the start are already aware of the failures and rejections they would face in such difficult mission.

This is one important aspect we priests have forgotten or disregarded – the courage to be imperfect as we always play God. Nobody’s perfect except God; the challenge in this life is to overcome every failure and defeat we encounter for that is how we are perfected. Remember that term “blessings in disguise” that are our many imperfections in life.

When facing a failure in life, the best thing to do is to be silent and to pray, be the presence of God like the prophets,  “And whether they resist— for they are a rebellious house — they shall know that a prophet has been among them” (Ez.2:5). After all, God’s “grace is always sufficient” for us because “power is made perfect in our weaknesses so that when we are weak, then we are strong in Christ Jesus” (1Cor.12:9,10).

During His lifetime here on earth, Jesus was “amazed” only twice.  First was when a Roman centurion asked Him to cure his slave from afar, saying “I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the words and my servant will be healed.”  Jesus was “amazed” that He cured the servant from afar, declaring that He had not seen such great faith in Israel (Mt.8:5-13).  The other time Jesus was amazed was when He returned home narrated in our Gospel this Sunday when people “took offense at him” that “He was amazed at their lack of faith” (Mk.6:3,6).

When Jesus comes, would He be amazed with our great faith, or with our lack of faith?   

Be amazed. Choose Jesus, choose faith in Him, the Christ! Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ,
thank You for always
believing in me despite
my sins and many flaws;
remind me always I am not You,
and therefore,
imperfect and weak;
keep me faithful and
persevering in You,
crossing the turbulent sea of life,
helping others cross
to make it through to the side of life;
let me your voice of hope
and your presence in this world
fascinated with anything
that glitters and sparkles,
afraid of the dark,
of emptiness,
of failures,
of faith.
Amen.
Photo by author, 2022.

How to fail in marriage

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 01 July 2024
Image from http://www.oodegr.com.

Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.

We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.

There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.

My dearest Gracie and Chino:

Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.

Disregard God.

Stop believing in God.

Live as if there is no God.

Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.

Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.

Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”

Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.

In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.

Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.

Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.

Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.

There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!

You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.

With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.

Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.

Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.

Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.

With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.

Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.

You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.

My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.

Failure & Faith

The Lord Is My Chef Easter Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Friday in the Fourth Week of Easter, 26 April 2024
Acts 13:26-33 ><]]]]’> + ><]]]]]’> + ><]]]]’> John 14:1-6
Photo by author, Anvaya Cove, 15 April 2024.

When Paul came to Antioch in Pisidia, he said in the synagogue: “My brothers… The inhabitants of Jerusalem and their leaders failed to recognize him, and by condemning him they fulfilled the oracles of the prophets that are read sabbath after sabbath.

Acts 13:26, 27
Failure.
One of life's many mysteries,
next to pain and suffering
that has baffled us ever since.
Sometimes avoidable,
sometimes inevitable
but surely happens
most of the time.
Like the Apostles 
at the Last Supper,
I fear failures, Lord Jesus;
as much as possible,
I avoid or at least
minimize failures
to maximize success
and victories.
But, dear Jesus,
it is not enough to avoid
and minimize failures;
You have taught me so many times
that like You, I have to embrace
even befriend failure
which is part of our lives.
That is why You gifted us
with faith:

Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places… I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

John 14:1-2, 6
More than a virtue
and a gift from Above,
faith is a relationship
with You
and in You,
dear Jesus;
it is in entering
into a personal
relationship with You
in faith,
through faith
that I can embrace
and befriend failure
so that it does not matter
anymore how I got lost
but how I have
remained in You my Way,
a Person and a revelation
of the Father's love,
not just a concept
in philosophy or technology
like the AI pretending
to lead me;
deepen my faith in You,
Jesus so that every communication
in You is true because it is a giving
of my self in love
like You at the Cross;
lastly,
let me grow in faith in You,
dearest Jesus so that
despite the many failures
that may come to me,
everything leads to eternity
because You alone is
life.
Amen.
Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD, an orange-bellied flowerpecker (Dicaeum trigonostigma) somewhere in the Visayas, December 2023.