Mater Dolorosa & Alanis Morisette

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 September 2023

I started praying about this blog last month after the Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It just occurred to me on that day to greet some of my “girlfriends” – yes, God has blessed me with so many of them who are mostly women and ladies who have taught me and shared with me so many lessons and thoughts about life only women can see.

One of them is my former colleague at GMA-7 News, Kelly, widowed for six years since the passing of her husband Larry whom I have visited and anointed many times during his long battle with cancer. When I asked her how she has been doing since our last meeting before the pandemic, she was her usual self – candid yet a bit sardonic in her reply, “I’m good. I have health issues but I’m handling them, living a simple but contented life… alam mo naman ako, I’m so Alannis Morissette.”

I thought she was again speaking “gay” as in chorva when she described herself as Alannis Morisette. And before I could ask her the meaning of “Alanis Morissette”, she turned out to be speaking English – referring to the singer Alanis Morissette as she sent me lyrics of her 1995 song Hand in My Pocket. Immediately I checked it on Youtube and found it perfect too for today’s celebration of the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows or Mater Dolorosa as it speaks of every woman’s sacrifice and sufferings in this world that is sadly still dominated by male chauvinists.

Mary as Our Lady of Sorrows reminds us of every woman’s fidelity to God through her husband and children, family and loved ones as well as vocation. Her remaining at the foot of the Cross was her lowest and painful point in life to be with her crucified Son, Jesus Christ. She was so absorbed with his pain and sufferings that at Easter, she was in turn absorbed by the glory of our Risen Lord which culminated at her Assumption into heaven.

How was Mary able to keep her composure? Oneness in Christ her Son from whom all good things come even in the most trying times. When I look at her face as portrayed in the arts, it is not pity that I feel but her dignity, nobility and simplicity. Notice her praying hands, totally surrendering herself to God which began at the Annunciation when she told the angel, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word” (Lk.1:38). There at the foot of the Cross of Jesus, her hands remained in praying position, entrusting everything to God, filled with faith, hope and love.

Alanis Morissette express almost the same faith, hope and love in the modern sense today with her 1995 Hand in My Pocket. A Canadian-American, Morissette grew up in a devout Roman Catholic family. Although she is now a practicing Buddhist, Morissette claimed repeatedly in some interviews that she owes her singing career to her Catholic faith. Her personal life is marked with so many pains and sufferings too, going through depressions and eating disorders as well as having been raped while 15 years old. It was from these experiences that she got all her inspirations in her many songs that strike chords in the hearts of many modern people, not just women, who strive to find meaning by hoping to brighter tomorrows amid the many hardships modern life has brought us.

I’m broke, but I’m happy
I’m poor, but I’m kind
I’m short, but I’m healthy, yeah
I’m high, but I’m grounded
I’m sane, but I’m overwhelmed
I’m lost, but I’m hopeful, baby

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fine
‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

We just have to remember our own mothers to realize and appreciate how our Lady of Sorrows and Alanis Morissette were able to bear all of life’s sufferings. It is in their hands. The praying hands. The hand in the pocket holding on to the present realities and the other hand up in the air hoping everything will be fine.

How ironic – pun intended as it is the title too of my favorite Morissette song – that despite all the great love women have offered and given us through our own mothers and sisters, aunts and grandmothers, teachers and nurses, not to forget the multitude of women who make our economy grow by laboring here and abroad plus the nuns who pray and run so many orphanages, women are still neglected and forgotten, even unloved, maltreated, and abused. Sadly, their fellow women are the ones who inflict those pains in this cruel and ungrateful world.

Starting today, be kind to women, especially those closest to you, those who have remained loving and kind despite your excesses and other idiosyncrasies.

Here is Ms. Alanis Morissette. Her music video is very interesting too, showing the many contrasts every disciple of Christ like Mary our Lady of Sorrows goes through in this life. Set in black and white, it evokes rawness yet at the same time brings out that eternal spring of hope within each one of us. Have a blessed rest day ahead!