Category: Husband&Wife

Marriage is completing each other

The Lord Is My Chef Wedding Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Homily, Wedding of Dra. Arianna Julia Enriquez & Dr. Dexter Falcon
Santuario de San Jose Parish, Greenhills, Mandaluyong
28 February 2025
Photo by Deesha Chandra on Pexels.com

Congratulations, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter in choosing to get married in the Church. Many people these days disregard the Sacrament of Marriage, sadly seeing it more in human terms and most sad of all, many would rather follow superstitions than faith in getting married.

When I was still in a parish in Bulacan, a couple met with me due to a problem with the date they wanted to get married that fell on a Saturday. I offered to them a Friday but the mother of the bride said “araw po ng mga mangkukulam ang Biyernes!” Whoa! Did you know that?

Trying to hide my laughter, I told the couple how about on a Thursday which is my day off and would just cancel it to officiate their wedding. The mother again interjected, “nakupo Father… lalo na po ang Huwebes! Araw ng kasal ng mga tikbalang!” I could not contain myself anymore and I told the mother, “Katoliko pala mga tikbalang dito sa inyo!”

I mentioned this experience because in the provinces, very few couples get married in the month of February like you. Your Tita, Dra Mylene knows this very well… happy birthday po! When people find out you were born in February, they say “kaya ka pala ganyan, kulang-kulang.” And that’s how most people see February – kulang or incomplete – that is why even couples avoid it as a date for their wedding.

Of course that is not true. Every day is a perfect day for wedding for each day is blessed by God – most especially the days of February, the most perfect month in number of days. February was added to our calendar to complete the 365 days of revolution of Earth around the Sun to make it a year. It is February that completes the year as it fills the missing days following the miscalculations by the early Romans.

Photo by Irina Iriser on Pexels.com

And that’s marriage. A man and a woman get married to complete each other.

Remember God’s declaration in the first reading, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

See how in creating the woman, God cast a deep sleep on man and took his rib to form it into a woman. The man was totally unaware of what was going on when God created and gave him the woman as his “suitable partner.”

This is most true with you, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter: you were both totally unaware in the beginning of how God worked silently in the background that you would eventually complete each other as friends, as lovers and now as husband and wife.

You have realized after your long relationship from pre-med to med proper and now as full-pledged doctors that you both cannot be complete without each other that even if you were separated by time and distance, you still made efforts to be together because that is love. You have realized that you can only be complete and whole with each other. Ikaw lang, sapat na!

Nothing is so toxic and difficult, nothing is most joyous when you think of each other, when you love each other. And so, simply love, love, and love! Huwag kayong magbibilangan! No need to have the numbers “224” tattooed on your arms like Philmar and Andi Eigenman.

When you have an LQ, who must make the first move to reach out and make peace?

Some couples say the man should make the first move but what happened to the rule “ladies first”? Others say the first to reconcile and say sorry is the one who started the lover’s quarrel but, would anyone really admit that?

The answer is this: when couples have an LQ, the one who has the most love to give must be the first to make the move for peace and reconciliation. Yung higit na nagmamahal ang unang kikibo.

Love is not a competition and love cannot be really measured. The true measure of love is when you love without measure. Nobody is perfect; hence, human love is also imperfect. Only God can love us perfectly. That is why, just keep on loving each other, letting your love flow to each other by taking care of each other.

That is the beautiful imagery of the ribs – inside the rib cage, the most vital organs of the body are protected and kept safe like the heart, the lungs, the liver. Lalo na ikaw, Doc Dexter: you are lacking in one rib and that is Dra. Arianna. Alagaan mo siyang mabuti. Boss namin siya…

God willed in all eternity that the two of you get married today not tomorrow nor next year nor last year. It was God who set February 28 as your wedding date because on this day God completes you.

However, though the husband and the wife complete each other, it is Jesus Christ who cements their union in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Jesus is the “gold paint” in the Japanese kintsugi art of repairing broken pottery.

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of joining together the broken pieces of a jar or a vase with a glue and then pain with gold its cracks to make the broken piece more beautiful. Along this line of thought is St. Paul the Apostle who described us as “earthen vessels” – palayok in Tagalog: so delicate and easily broken yet God still fills us with Himself and His grace because He loves us so much.

And that is my second final reflection for you dear Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter: love is not natural but supernatural – it is divine because it is rooted in God! Love is more than a feeling which is natural. Love is a decision, requiring your cooperation with God who pours out His blessings to you since you met despite your imperfections and flaws. That is the meaning of Marriage as a Sacrament – it is more than a human and natural bond but a supernatural, divine union of man and woman who become the signs of Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Heed the call of Jesus in our gospel today, “remain in me and make my joy complete.”

How lovely is your love story! Clearly of divine origin that you met in a theology class during your senior year in college. You did not meet in a party nor in any of those rows of restaurants across Ateneo or at the parking lot. You met in a theology class where you learned about God.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

And the more you discovered God, the more you discovered each other, realizing in the process that the more you need God to make you both complete which is the principle and foundation of St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises.

We are able to love because God loved us first as the beloved disciple wrote in his first letter. That is the mystery of love, of married love specifically that Ben & Ben said so well in their song, “Mahiwaga… Pipiliin ka sa araw-araw… Mahiwaga… and nadarama sa iyo ay malinaw.”

When I think of this mystery of divine love in married couples, the image that comes to my mind are the “praying hands”. Each hand represents the husband and the wife. They retain their individuality as they freely pursue growth and maturity and fulfillment in life and career. Both hands are flexible and can move freely.

But, look at these two praying hands: as you get closer with each other, you also create a sacred space between you for Jesus Christ. Like that glue painted gold in the Japanese art of kintsugi, it is Jesus who makes you one and complete, it is Jesus who joins you together in his love.

Hence, whatever you do to each other, you do it first to Jesus. When you are faithful and true to Dra . Arianna, you are first faithful and true Doc Dexter to Jesus. The same with you Dra. Arianna: when you bake pastries and cakes for Doc Dexter, it is Jesus whom you first make happy and delighted.

But the moment you Doc Dexter cheat and lie to Dra. Arianna, you first fool Jesus. When you make taray to Doc Dexter, you first make taray to Jesus, Dra. Arianna.

Handle your life always with prayer. Every day, invite Jesus into your married life, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter in the same manner you have both invited Him today on your wedding day. God bless you always, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter! May today be your least happiest day in your life as couple! Amen.

Photo by Emre Kuzu on Pexels.com

How to fail in marriage

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 01 July 2024
Image from http://www.oodegr.com.

Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.

We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.

There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.

My dearest Gracie and Chino:

Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.

Disregard God.

Stop believing in God.

Live as if there is no God.

Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.

Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.

Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”

Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.

In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.

Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.

Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.

Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.

There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!

You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.

With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.

Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.

Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.

Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.

With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.

Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.

You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.

My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.

How to fail in marriage

“Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by the Police, 1981

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Music, 19 November 2023
The Housewife 1871 Frederick Walker 1840-1875 Bequeathed by R.H. Prance 1920 http://www.tate.org.uk/art/work/N0352.

Hi everyone! So glad to be back this Sunday for our music related with our Mass celebration. We hope you have gone to your local church or wherever for the Sunday Mass where the first reading was taken from the Book of Proverbs that spoke of a “worthy wife”, a perfect wife.

When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, untrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. She obtains wool and flax and works with loving hands. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.

Proverbs 31:10-13, 19-20

You must be wondering if there is a perfect wife – or a perfect husband – who really exist.

Of course, none. Nobody is perfect. You have to understand human words are so limited to express God’s thoughts and words. What the author of Proverbs mean today is an “ideal wife” – someone who keeps all the little things at home we (especially men and children) often take for granted that are actually the most important things that keep our homes nice and clean, cozy and orderly (https://lordmychef.com/2023/11/18/little-things-are-the-big-things/).

The reading from the Book of Proverbs this Sunday invites us to imitate the attitudes of the “worthy wife” like her diligence and fidelity to her tasks at home in actively waiting for the Second Coming of Christ at the end of the world. It supports the teaching of Jesus in today’s parable of the talents that God is not asking us great things in life but simply to be faithful to the tasks and responsibilities he entrusted to us. Exactly like the perfect wife who got everything covered not only at home but even outside! When we die, the only thing Jesus will ask us is how we have cared for those persons and things he entrusted us in this life – not what we have done nor achieved nor amassed like wealth.

And that is why as I prayed while preparing this Sunday’s homily, I kept hearing at the back of my head Sting and the Police singing their 1981 hit Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.

Though I’ve tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve as I’ve done from the start
Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on
Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met?
It’s a big enough umbrella
But it’s always me that ends up getting wet
Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

Written by Sting, the song is about a man who could not express his love for a woman he finds so beautiful and amazing. The song is actually about unrequited love and she never became his wife!

I resolved to call her up
A thousand times a day
And ask her if she’ll marry me
Some old-fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
Long before I reach the phone
Long before my tongue has tripped me
Must I always be alone

And so you ask how do I find this song related with that reading from the Book of Proverbs about a perfect wife? We find that in the repetitive chorus line “Every little thing she does is magic” as well as in the superb instrumentation, especially its opening tune. This piece of music in itself is magic.

Let’s face it, man… women are so good in this life that without them, our world would stop, including the Church. For me, that “battle of sexes” had long been won by women because they are better than us in many accounts. That is why God gave them to us as our part-ners in life. Women, especially mothers and wives, have that attention to details we could not see (ask any husband how his wife could still see even even nothing can be seen?). Most of all, they have that flair and elan so built in within them that everything they do is magic – effortless, easy, so natural and personal.

Jesus is not asking us to do something so great or monumental in life. He simply wants us to be faithful and consistent with our calling as his disciples, as Christians who lovingly serve God through one another. Something that women, especially wives and mothers, could teach us a lot with in this life. Here’s the Police to all the great women out there with their loving and faithful men.

From Youtube.com.

Be surprised. Believe. Love.

A Wedding Homily for a Nephew, Raymond Immanuel Alonzo & Charlene Patricia Moya
The Manila Cathedral of the Basilica Minore of Immaculate Conception, 07 July 2023
Ephesians 5:25-31   ><]]]]'> + <'[[[[><   John 15:12-17
Photo by PhotoMIX Company on Pexels.com.

All praise and thanksgiving to God our loving Father for this day, Immi and Pat! This is the day God had set to be your wedding day. Not last year, not next month nor any other day except this seventh day of July 2023.

Jesus Christ said in our gospel today, “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you” (John 15:16).

Surprised? Yes, Immi and Pat, you have both felt God surprising you many times since you met each other, mysteriously weaving your lives seamlessly together that today you are before him at his altar to pledge your love for each other.

Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte, Atok, Benguet, 01 September 2019.

That is what I wish to share with you this afternoon: keep that element of surprise in your lives together, Immi and Pat. Never lose that sense of wonder because it is when we are surprised that we start to believe; when we believe, we get closer and then we love. The more we love, the more we are surprised and the more we believe until that love matures into more than feelings but a decision and commitment to love until death.

Hindi ba, Immi and Pat, that is why you are here today because you have finally decided to grow together in this love because you believe in each other and most of all in God?

There were many occasions you were both surprised at the twists and turns in your lives as individuals, beginning at how you got to know each other in the office.

Hindi naman love at first sight iyon. Hindi nga kayo magka-type pareho kaya nag-aasaran kayo palagi.

You were opposites but the more you were surprised in discovering new things about each other, the more you gravitated to each other, the more you believe in each other, surprisingly realizing that actually, you are not opposites but share a lot in common.

That’s when you became good friends caring for each other, conversing more often with topics getting deeper like plans and views in life until one day, Pat had so much of these surprises as she juggled many things in her life and asked to speak with you, Immi, to avoid confusion and complicate things further in your friendship.

Wala pa siyang sinasabi maliban sa “mag-usap tayo” and you just told her, “Let’s go out on a date”. Iyon na yun! Kayo na! Dehins na hangout, date na. Wow, tamis!

Photo by Elle Hughes on Pexels.com

The problem in our time is that everything, everyone is exposed. Even overexposed!

With social media all around us, everything is shown and displayed for all to see, leaving no room at all for surprises.

Many people these days want everything to be certain. Lahat segurista na ngayon.

No more surprises, no more faith because many of us have stopped believing. Remember, “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). That is why, when we are surprised, then we believe. Then as we believe more and get surprised more, we love.

Immi and Pat, always have faith, believe and be surprised with each other and with God.

The world tells us, “to see is to believe” but our faith teaches us, “believe so that we would see.” Remember when Jesus told Thomas a week after Easter, “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed “(John 21:29b).

Keep that childlike attitude in you of being surprised always, of having that sense of awe and wonder. That is why kids believe and trust always.

Photo by Ms. Jo Villafuerte in Atok, Benguet, 01 September 2019.

Being surprised is being open with the simple realities of life, of the joys of being alive and sharing this life with a special someone in love. Being surprised is being open to getting hurt because we believe there is that special someone who would always take care of us, with whom we can be our true selves no matter what. Being surprised is being open to the realities and ecstasy of loving and of being loved in return. Being surprised is believing in God who is a God of surprises because he loves us so much.

In the Book of Genesis, we find Jacob falling asleep at Bethel with a stone as his pillow, dreaming of a stairway to heaven. It was so good because he saw God and his angels ascending and descending the stairway to heaven that upon waking up, Jacob had that sense of wonder and awe, “Truly the Lord is in this spot, although I did not know it!” (Gen.28:16). Jacob was surprised. Then he believed. And loved and served God. In 1971, we heard Jimmy Page and Robert Plant singing, “makes me wonder” over and over in their hit Stairway to Heaven.

But, Edith Piaf said it best in 1946, of how she was surprised in finding love with her classic song La vie en rose. No, I will not sing it but will just read it to remind you God’s many surprises for you, Immi and Pat.

I thought that love was just a word
They sang about in songs I heard
It took your kisses to reveal
That I was wrong, and love is real
 
Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose
 
When you kiss me heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose
 
When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom
And when you speak, angels sing from above
Everyday words seem to turn into love songs
 
Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose.

Immi and Pat, God has a lot of surprises for you. Remain faithful with each other, remain faithful to Jesus Christ who have called and chosen you. Have Christ always between you in your relationship. Pray, believe and have trust in him so you both would see more surprises, more life, more love in your married life. God bless you, Immi and Pat! Amen.

For those wishing to listen and perhaps use this classic piece, here is its English version.

From YouTube.com.

The basis of our relationships

The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Tuesday in the Thirtieth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 25 October 2022
Ephesians 5:21-33   ><000'> + ><000'> +><000'>   Luke 13:18-21
Photo of my altar in my room taken in 2021.
Praise and glory to you,
O Lord Jesus Christ!
Thank you for coming,
for dying and rising for us,
in being the sole basis of
all of our relationships;
so many times, 
we forget this grace
you have given us,
not realizing this great 
"mystery" of your loving
presence in us and among us.

Brothers and sisters: Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her… This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25, 32-33
Your words today,
O Lord through St. Paul
are not only meant for
married couples 
but for everyone
who believes in you,
who follows you,
and loves you - 
that to be a Christian
means to see everyone
as a brother and sister
in you, Jesus the Christ.

How sad that some
couples today even try
to disregard and tone down
the real meaning of this
admonitions by St. Paul,
devising their own kind
and meaning of marriage
and relationships that 
disregard its giftedness
and holiness, of being
open to life, literally
and figuratively speaking.
May we keep in mind 
your beautiful lesson of the
Kingdom of God 
that may be compared to
a mustard seed or yeast
mixed with flour, of how
everything in you and about 
you Jesus begins small; 
open our minds and our hearts 
to your divine realities that
always begin and happen
in little things like simple
gestures of kindness and
goodwill to others,
so ordinary, so hidden yet
so wonderful as it could grow 
and blossom into great relationships
if we could just find and
recognize you on the
face of everyone we meet,
especially on the people
you send us always.
Amen.

We are One

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Sunday Week XXVII-B in Ordinary Time, 03 October 2021
Genesis 2:18-24 ><]]]]'> Hebrews 2:9-11 ><]]]]'> Mark 10:2-16
Photo by Ms. Isa Avendaño-Umali at UP-Diliman via reddit.com.

Part of my fond memory of traveling to old Baguio will always be that long stretch of road in Tarlac with the colorful caballeros or “fire trees” abloom every summer, their vibrant shades of hot orange and tangerine serving like a canopy to a magical tunnel.

Making the scene lovelier were the branches and treetops arching over the road as if trying to “connect” with the other trees at the opposite side to remind us of nature’s design that we are all created one.

This is the gist of this Sunday’s readings from Genesis as cited by Jesus in the gospel.

The Lord God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with a flesh. The Lord God built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man.

Genesis 1:25

Sometimes the Bible presents to us God acting so naive as if not knowing something at all like in this creation story when he said “it is not good for man to be alone”. Did he not know in his infinite knowledge and wisdom that man will only be happy with another human being like him “who is flesh of my flesh and bones of my bones”?

Of course, God knows everything but he wants us to realize ourselves – firsthand, that we can never be complete without another person, a fellow human being. There are times we learn our lessons best through our own experiences, the more painful and difficult, the better! Like this pandemic that has made us realize the value of persons, of family and friends over things like money and gadgets or any material possession.

Note that the creation account could have ended very well in man’s “discovery” of the woman but the author continued on with an explanation “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24) to show not only the reality of marriage as a creation by God but also to remind us it is a part of our nature to reach out to the other person to enter into a communion. The “I-Thou” relationship put forth by philosopher Martin Buber has always been part of human nature until sin came and hardened the human heart, misleading us often by impulses of carnal and selfish instincts towards others.

The Pharisees approached Jesus and asked, “Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?” They were testing him. He said to them in reply, “What did Moses command you?” They replied, “Moses permitted him to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her.” But Jesus told them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation… Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

Mark 10:2-6, 9
Wedding of my former student Lery with Micah in January 2020, Malolos City.

God made all things good and beautiful

Jesus and his disciples were still in Capernaum when some Pharisees approached him to test him about their legal debates on the issue of divorce. And though he was fully aware of their evil plans against him, Jesus answered their question so well without going down to their level of discussions based on petty quarrels and differences with each other.

See how Jesus was clearly focused to his mission by asserting to everyone that he had come to reveal the will of the Father, that God created everything good and beautiful with man and woman as the crowning glory of his creation that he had to cite to them the Book of Genesis. There was no need for him to involve into the legal debates of his time about divorce that unfortunately continues to this day.

For Jesus, divorce is clearly a result of man’s sins, of human weakness due to the “hardness of your hearts” which Moses tried to remedy.

And now that he has come as our Christ and Savior, Jesus assures everyone of his grace and help in overcoming our weaknesses and sins especially in upholding the purity of marriage and the Creator’s intention when he declared, “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate” (Mk.10:9).

In bringing back to God as the starting point of the man and woman relationship, Jesus elevated marriage to a higher status than ever, making it a “sacrament” or a sign of his saving presence among us. 

In the process, Jesus reminded his disciples and us today
 of the nature of human relationships as reflection of God's beauty and holiness.  
Every human relationship is always a gift from God, a grace and a blessing 
that must be nurtured with love and care.  
More than the unity of husband and wife, 
Jesus reminds us in today's gospel of our unity as humanity, 
as children of the Father who loves us so much.
Photo by Mr. Jim Marpa, 2019.

But the beauty of Jesus Christ’s lesson on marriage continued as they went “in the house” in Capernaum, when his disciples asked him to explain to them what he had told the Pharisees.

In the process, Jesus reminded his disciples and us of the nature of human relationships as reflection of God’s beauty and holiness. Every human relationship is always a gift from God, a grace and a blessing that must be nurtured with love and care. More than the unity of husband and wife, Jesus reminds us in today’s gospel of our unity as humanity, as children of the Father who loves us so much.

How sad when we destroy, disfigure or alter this image of God in us and in our relationships that harm human life and nature that have led to endless cycles of disorder and imbalance like wars and conflicts in various forms as nations and peoples compete for supremacy.

This is the reason why Jesus reiterates today his central message of becoming like children to enter into the kingdom of God.

And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.” Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them.

Mark 10:13-16

It was a fitting way to cap his lessons that day about marriage and unity of men and women with creation. Becoming “indignant” with the disciples who have “rebuked” their parents in bringing them to Jesus, he stressed anew the nature of the kingdom of God being open to those who are small and weak, those with the attitude like that of children who trust, depend and rely on the powers of those above them most especially God.

Photo by Mr. Red Santiago of his son, 2019.

It is deeply sad when couples separate or divorce, hurting the children most in the process. And indeed, it is the most tragic of all when priests and bishops abuse children when they are tasked by Jesus himself to care for the children as we have heard on many occasions in the gospel.

But, God has never stopped calling men and women to the sacred vocations of married life and priesthood even if he perfectly knows our weaknesses, including hardness of our hearts sometimes, or most of the time.

As the author of the Letter to the Hebrews had reflected, the more we must strive to be one in Jesus Christ who calls us all “brothers” and “sisters” having been consecrated to God as our origin and final end.

Last Sunday, Jesus told us “sky’s the limit in doing good” regardless of our religious affiliations “For whoever is not against us is for us” (Mk.9:40); sin is the only obstacle we must avoid, striving hard to stop its occasions when he metaphorically said it is better to enter heaven with just one hand or foot or eye than lose the body to the fires of hell.

This Sunday, Jesus is inviting us back to the very root of our relationships – God, the Supreme Good of all. Let us pray for the softening of our hearts to be more loving and forgiving, kind and understanding. Like at the beginning when he created everything, God trusts us and believes in us for we are all good like him, that his grand design of communion is very possible in Christ Jesus. Amen. Have a blessed week!