Marriage is a prayer

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 11 June 2024
From stillromancatholicafteralltheseyears.com, January 2022.

What is very sad in this ongoing debate against divorce in our country is how some people claiming to be graduates and professors of Catholic institutions insist on their many “intellectual reasonings” why divorce should be allowed while at the same time declaring it is wrong to profess we are against divorce simply because we are Catholics.

What a tragedy when those educated or teaching in Catholic schools and universities who are supposed to know more and better about Jesus Christ and His teachings are the ones favoring divorce. They cite so many studies and authors even theologians to support their stand in favor of divorce without ever mentioning Christ’s teachings found in the Sacred Scriptures that were explained by the Church in our Catechism as well as in so many other documents by the Popes and bishops.

We understand how journalists could err regarding names and other details that essentially do not effect the veracity of their news like the recent sakalan blues in Gagalangin, Tondo when the interview of a priest was ascribed to another; but, to be one sided in the presentation of a story is something else like Rappler’s “The Problem with I am Catholic, I say no to divorce”. There’s a reliable maxim in journalism that says “Opinions are free but facts are sacred.”

Photo by Joseph Kettaneh on Pexels.com

The main fact we have been holding on the sanctity and indissolubility of marriage for over 2000 years is our Lord Jesus Christ’s teaching against divorce that the pro-divorce everywhere have refused to accept.

Yes, we need to listen to different views about divorce but not to those views condemned by the Church because they are wrong.

Divorce cannot be isolated as merely a political issue to be resolved because marriage as a natural sacrament is spiritual in nature, a path to holiness.

Marriage is a gift and a call from God for men and women to live and work together in order to attain eternal life. This we achieve firstly by having a prayer life, a relationship with God expressed in our love for one another especially between husband and wife.

In arguing against divorce, we need to look for those couples who have made it through thick and thin in their marriage in order to inspire others in following the path of Holy Matrimony.

Joyce and Tony in 2019 with son Atty. JA and wife Kathleen with their two sons, and daughter Rosella.

As a contribution in our fight against divorce, I share with you my homily at the 40th wedding anniversary of my cousin Joyce Pollard to Tony Lopez in October 2019 which I titled as “Married life is a prayer”.

Oh what a joy to officiate weddings especially of relatives and friends!

Hope you find some lessons and inspirations on the beauty of marriage we have to keep.

As I prepared my homily for your anniversary, Joyce and Tony… “the moment I woke up and before your Mommy Fely put on her make-up, I said a little prayer for you.”

Of course that is not the theme song of Joyce and Tony. They haven’t met yet in 1967 when Dione Warwick recorded I Say a Little Prayer. But they were already married when it became one of the tracks in the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding” starring Julia Roberts.

And since this is my “best cousin’s wedding anniversary” in this part of the city, I have thought of reflecting on married life as a prayer.

In our gospel we have heard Jesus Christ narrating the parable of the unjust judge and persistent widow to underscore “the necessity to pray always without becoming weary” (Lk. 18:1).

Prayer is an expression of faith.

When there is faith, there is also love.

And when there is prayer, faith, and love, what we have is a relationship, a community of believers who love each other.

People who love and believe with each other always talk and communicate. They make time to be with one another. And most often, that is what really matters with people who love and believe – simply to be together.

Even in silence.

Like prayer.

Prayer is more than asking things from God but most of all, prayer is a relationship with God expressed with others. That is the beauty of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony: husband and wife are bound together in marriage to become signs of the saving presence of Jesus Christ.

Marriage as a sacrament means it is a prayer as well, a relationship of a man and woman with God as its source and foundation.

I am sure, Joyce and Tony along with all the other married couples here today will agree that married life requires a lot of prayers. In fact, married life is a prayer, a very difficult one that is much needed.

Like in that movie My Best Friend’s Wedding, there are real forces of evil that are trying to destroy couples. So many couples have already fallen, going their separate lives after several years of being together while on the other hand, more and more couples are refusing to get married at all due to this reality of breakups and separations.

And that is why we are celebrating today Joyce and Tony’s 40th wedding anniversary! We are praying with them in expressing our faith and love for them in Christ Jesus. Prayers have kept them together, transforming them into better persons.

At the end of the parable of the persistent widow and unjust judge, Jesus posed a very crucial question for us, especially to every married couple here today: When the Son of Man comes again at the end of time, will he find faith on earth? (Lk.18:8)

And what shall be our response?

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony!”

Like Moses in the first reading, they both prayed hard with arms outstretched on many occasions as they battled life’s many challenges and struggles.

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony” because they have both proclaimed your word with persistence, whether it is convenient or inconvenient like St. Paul in his second letter to Timothy. They have weathered so many storms in the past 40 years and your words, O Lord, have kept them together, sharing these with their children and with everyone in their life of fidelity and love.

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again in Joyce and Tony” now before your altar to renew their vows to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives!

“Yes, Lord, you shall find faith when you come again” among the many couples gathered here who have remained faithful to each other despite their many sins and failures, weaknesses and shortcomings.

Joyce and Tony, you are not only a prayer of faith but also a homily of the Holy Matrimony, showing us the light and power of Jesus Christ to transform people in prayer and bring them to fulfillment.

Prayer does not change things like typhoons and earthquakes. We cannot ask God in prayer to spare us from getting sick or be exempted from life’s many trials and sufferings. Prayer cannot stop those from happening.

What prayer does is change us, change our attitude so we may hurdle life’s many blows and obstacles. Especially with couples who always find God in their lives, in good times and in bad.

Prayers transform us into better persons as children of God, especially couples who eventually look like brothers and sisters after living together in faith, hope and love.

Tony and Joyce, I am sure everyone in our family and among your friends here can attest to the many good things that have transformed you in the past 40 years.

You have changed to become the best for each other.

In the bible, the number 40 means perfect.

May God continue to perfect you, Tony and Joyce.

Keep us too in your prayers as we pray for you. Amen.

https://lordmychef.com/2019/10/23/married-life-is-a-prayer/
Joyce and Tony in 1979…may forever basta may prayer!

The Eucharist: our experience of divinity & unity in love

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ-B, 02 June 2024
Exodus 24:3-8 ><}}}}}*> Hebrews 9:11-15 ><}}}}}*> Mark 14:12-16, 22-26
Photo by Pranav Jain on Pexels.com

When I was a teacher-administrator of the Immaculate Conception Schoo for Boys (ICSB) in Malolos during my early years in the priesthood, I used to tell my students that in every first date they would have, always bring their girlfriend to a restaurant because what matters most is not the food and drinks but the moments we share together to know each other.

That’s the spirit behind every gathering we host with family and friends. What we really offer our guests are not food and drinks and desserts but our very selves, expressing to them our desire to be closer and intimate in our relationships as family and friends. When we tell them to have more food and drinks including sending home with tons of “Sharon Cuneta”, we actually share to them our selves as food and drinks in the same manner they nourished us with their coming. That’s Filipino hospitality so known even abroad, so appreciated by foreigners as we see in many reels and TikTok in social media.

Photo by author, 24 May 2024.

Universally speaking, every meal is more than eating and drinking but of togetherness, of deepening of our bonds as family and friends nourishing each other, becoming food and drinks for one another.

It is the same thing the happens in a more complete and perfect manner whenever we celebrate the Holy Eucharist. 

By giving us His very self as Body and Blood, Jesus Christ our host in this sacred meal not only nourishes our spiritual and deepest longings but most of all offers us the most intimate communion possible with others and with God. Jesus is the one who makes everything possible for us to be together, calling us to “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest…for I am humble and gentle of heart” (Mt.11:28-30).

 On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, when they sacrifice the Passover lamb, Jesus’ disciples said to him, “Where do you want us to go and prepare for you to eat the Passover?”  He sent two of his disciples and said to them, “Go into the city and a man will meet you, carrying a jar of water.  Follow him.  Wherever he enters, say to the master of the house, “The Teacher says, ‘Where is my guest room where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’  Then he will show you a large upper room furnished and ready.  Make the preparations for us there.”  The disciples then went off, entered the city, and found it just as he had told them; and they prepared the Passover.

Mark 14:12-16
Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

See how Jesus personally prepared everything for their Passover meal when He arranged everything with coded messages like following “a man carrying a jar of water” because at that time, it was the woman who fetched water.  You cannot find a man carrying a jar of water unless there is something extraordinary like in our gospel today.  And that is how much God loves us, always taking the initiative to meet us, to encounter us, to be closest with us. 

It is always Jesus Christ who takes the initiative to meet us and bless us like in the Holy Eucharist.  Imagine at the start of the Mass, right away He welcomes us even if we are sinners, granting us pardon even before we have asked forgiveness.  In the Eucharist, we receive Jesus Christ personally like the apostles at the Last Supper this time under the signs of bread and wine as His Body and Blood, drawing us closer to Him.

That is what really happens in the sacred meal of the Holy Eucharist, a divine communion! 

I tell people that after receiving Jesus in the Holy Communion, speak to Him in the most personal manner, tell Him everything whatever you want, including your cries and complaints. But, like in every meal, listen too to Jesus who has always has something so personal to tell us.

Here we find an essential element in every meal, in every conversation, in a covenant: our responsibility, our response to the offer of our host Jesus Christ. This is the meaning of Moses splashing the blood of the animal offerings to the people in sealing their covenant with God: the blood symbolized life or gift of self, our giving of ourselves to God our Lord. Jesus perfected this in the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist as the Letter of the Hebrews tells us:

Brothers and sisters: When Christ came as high priest of the good things that have come to be, passing through the greater and more perfect tabernacle not made by hands, that is, not belonging to this creation, he entered once for all into the sanctuary, not with the blood of goats and calves but with his own blood, thus obtaining eternal redemption. For this reason he is mediator of a new covenant: since a death has taken place for deliverance from transgressions under the first covenant, those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance.

Hebrews 9:11-12, 15
Photo by author, Chapel of St. Francis Xavier, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches, QC, 20 March 2024.

Here we find the element and essence of sacrifice of Jesus as sacrifice of the Mass. From the Latin words sacra facere that means to make holy or sacred, Jesus offered Himself as a sacrifice for us to make us holy like Him. In the Mass, we do not repeat His sacrifice but makes it present, actual in ourselves.

For us to receive Jesus Body and Blood in the Eucharist, we too give ourselves to Him to become His very presence in the world not only in the community gathered as His mystical Body or Church but most of all, in our union as family and friends like in Marriage. But, remember that the sacrament is not everything. We have responsibilities to nurture, deepen and protect the grace every Sacrament bestows us. What do we give? What do we sacrifice?

My dear friends, that aspect of mortification in sacrifice is accidental. We do not sacrifice or give up something merely to deny ourselves of something good. To sacrifice is not to deprive oneself of life but actually to offer oneself to a higher life. That is why we sacrifice for our loved ones and even for ourselves to achieve our dreams and aspirations. God asks us to sacrifice not because He needs us but in order to make us better, to make us holy, more equipped to keep our end in His covenant. Hence, divorce is contrary to the Eucharist, to the covenant of God.

Photo by Ka Ruben, National Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Valenzuela City, 2022.

There is no perfect marriage nor perfect couples but every marriage is made in heaven, blessed by God. Problems do happen indeed in many marriages or in life in general but these are of human origins – the hardness of our hearts as Jesus declared, not with the sacrament or with life itself.

Everybody has got to give, has to sacrifice. The best things in life are not free, especially a happy marriage. Or a fulfilling ministry or career or whatever. We have to give ourselves too in the same manner Jesus gave us Himself on the Cross. Problem is we no longer sacrifice in these days of instants that even that most wonderful union of man and woman called marriage is being destroyed by some in the pretext of a solution with divorce.

In celebrating the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ today, we experience the love and unity of God expressed in last week’s celebration of the Blessed Trinity, of how the three Persons in their mutual giving of self to each other outpoured upon us life and abundant blessings. 

Like the three Persons bonded in love, we too can achieve that unity with God and with others through the Holy Eucharist when we too learn to sacrifice, assuring us of God’s presence among us in the ordinary instances in life. Experience God in every movement, in every step as He always takes the initiative to meet us, to be with us so we become like Him. 

Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ,
You have given me Your total self
in love, Body and Blood
on the Cross and daily in
the sacrifice of the Mass;
You never asked me to give
myself literally: You merely ask me
to be more loving and kind,
to be more forgiving and merciful,
to be more charitable;
what's more, every good deed
I am able to do actually comes from You!
I practically just have to be Your lips,
Your hands, Your limbs, Your Body and Blood
and yet, I could not give up myself to You!
Help me Jesus
to learn to sacrifice,
to offer my body,
my total self to You
through the loving service of others.
Amen.