“Fearful yet overjoyed”

The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Monday within the Octave of Easter, 18 April 2022
Acts 2:14, 22-33   ><)))*> + <*(((><   Matthew 28:8-15

Twenty-four years ago today,
dearest Lord Jesus Christ,
you gave me, along with my six
other classmates the most wonderful
gift of ordination to the priesthood;
thank you very much from the bottom
of my heart!  I could not ask for anything
else and if ever, indeed, I shall live my
life again and you call me, most likely
I would still say yes to you - "fearful yet
overjoyed" like Mary Magdalene 
on that Easter morning.

Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce this to his disciples. And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them. They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

Matthew 28:8-10

How lovely it is to remember 
this date of our ordination
including the years leading to it
and the following ones after;
I was "fearful yet overjoyed" -
so afraid of mistakes and failures
yet so raring to explore and learn
so much in life and ministry;
most of all, I felt "fearful yet
overjoyed" so many times I might 
fall into sins and lose you yet
overjoyed because even in my 
lowest and darkest moments,
you were there, Lord, 
so faithful and loving, 
forgiving and merciful, 
never imposing nor insisting 
but always patient with me.

But there were also many occasions,
Lord Jesus, when I felt more fearful
without any joy at all; forgive me
for doubting you, for turning away
from you, choosing sin, believing
more to what others say, especially
the lies they spread against you and 
your truth.

Enkindle anew in me, dear Jesus,
the warmth and joy of your Resurrection
that I may continue to witness your 
presence and share this truth with 
those around me like Peter in the first
reading by being a living witness
of your Paschal Mystery.

I pray for my other classmates too,
Lord Jesus - Fathers Ed, Joshua,
Romy, Leonard, Arnel as well as 
Fathers Bien and Felix in Antipolo
and Bataan respectively, Fathers Jay
in Tarlac and Fr. Jay-El in the Military 
Ordinariate:  let us be focused more
on you, Jesus our Caller than with
your call, the priesthood; keep us open
to your presence and empty 
to be filled with your light  of truth 
and unity, gentleness and mercy,
 presence and perseverance.  Amen.