Lately Lord I have felt some intense feelings within me. You seem to be too far, even elusive, yet I feel so drawn to you. Is it love? Am I growing? Am I maturing?
Since Sunday all your words from the first reading to the gospel have all been directed to the end of time, to the fulfillment of everything as you have promised. I know deep in my heart it is easier said than done but that is how I feel – I am looking forward to it. No, I am not ready to die yet, Lord; you know how fearful I am of so many things.
But the more I pray and listen to your words, the more I discover you within me. Like John, I could taste the sweetness of your words in my mouth but once they get down deep within me, they turn sour, they upset my stomach. There are some inner stirrings within that invite me to listen attentively, intently, intensely to you within me.
What they are, at the moment, I do not know, Lord. They are disturbing but at the same time comforting. It is like Luke’s version of your cleansing of the temple that is more sober than the other evangelists’ narration of the same event. It is not so much of your anger but of the stirrings of your words that“all the people were hanging in your words” (Lk.19:48).
Continue to stir me within, O Lord Jesus, let me hang in your words too so I may be cleansed within, washed from my sins, healed of my pains and hurts that you may reign supreme in me. AMEN. Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Parokya ng San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista, Gov. F. Halili Ave., Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan 3022.
*Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News, Iceland, October 2018.