The Lord Is My Chef Breakfast Recipe for the Soul, Tuesday, Easter VII, 04 June 2019
Acts 20:17-27 >< )))*> >< )))*> >< )))*> John 17:1-11
Altar of the Church of All Nations beside the Garden of Gethsemane in the Holy Land. Photo by author, April 2017.
I am hesitant in greeting you a good morning, Lord Jesus Christ. How I wish I could have even a fifth of your courage in facing death. All throughout your life here on earth, you faced death squarely. You were never caught by surprise.
Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come.”
John 17:1
In the first reading, St. Paul also spoke about his coming death when he summoned the leaders of the church in Ephesus to a meeting in Miletus where he told them that after that meeting, they would never see his face again.
Every day, Lord, we face death every time we make choices and decisions. But rarely are we aware about death with the capital “D” except when we are in extreme danger or when diagnosed with the big “C”.
Last night as I prayed, I got focused about facing death. I am afraid, Lord even though I know that when it comes, I will not feel anything. The pain would be with those I would leave behind, with those who love me and care for me. Yet, I am still afraid.
And that is when you consoled me, making me realize that what is most terrifying with death is when we fail to live authentically. When we waste every opportunity to live fully because coming to terms with death is coming to terms with life too!
That is the reason why you – and the saints – were never afraid with death. That is part of the joy of Easter, of living authentically.
Help us, O Lord, to live truthfully, and fully in your love and mercy so that when our time comes, we have no regrets leaving this life on earth because while still here, we are already one with you in the Father (Jn.17:3).
We pray also for those who are terminally ill, undergoing surgery and other medical procedures today, for those languishing in jail especially those who are innocent, for those barely surviving the many trials of every day living trying to make ends meet. Comfort them, Lord Jesus with your healing presence. Amen.
A sculpture of Jesus’ Agony at the Garden below a window of the Church of All Nations beside the Garden of Gethsemane. Photo by author, April 2017.
Did our prayer help you? Share us your thoughts and prayers too. Follow our blog for your daily recipe for the soul. God bless! fr nick
Yesterday I saw the Maundy Thursday letter of Archbishop Soc Villegas to us his brother priests. I have never had a death threat in my life but have experienced being the subject of a fake news on being dead in 2005. And like the good Bishop Soc, I also asked “why me for doing what is right?”
It was one of the darkest hours in my entire life. I was then assigned at our diocesan school for boys in Malolos when I initiated an investigation on two married teachers allegedly having an affair following a tip from some faculty members. Our school principal who was well-respected by everyone headed the board. After a few days into the investigation, the teachers concerned resigned after realizing the overwhelming evidences their accusers have gathered against them. We were so glad the case was peacefully and easily resolved.
A week later, a teacher woke me up very early morning with a call, asking if the text message they have received was true that I have died of a heart attack past midnight. My immediate response to the teacher was, “why did you call me if I have died already?” She was crying and was so concerned as I listened to her on the phone. Then I asked her to send me the text message, but, later I changed my mind, telling her “what if it were true?”
I was never able to get back to sleep that morning because everybody was asking about the fake news that spread so quickly. I had to call my family to assure them I am very alive and well. By eight o’clock I realized the gravity of the matter: nuns were praying and masses have been offered for my “untimely death” that some priests have in fact came to see me in the school. I tried to brushed it aside, taking it lightly with my usual jokes. I even held my classes that whole day, telling my students that even if I die, I would always come to teach them.
Things became so different later that day for me. Especially when I prayed first in our chapel that evening and later in my room. Alone, I cried, feeling a deep pain within, asking myself what have I done wrong to deserve such a fake news? It was a pain so different, something you could really piercing through one’s self, slashing and shredding every bit of my being. That night I felt I have finally grasped all those existential absurd and pessimistic stuffs by Abert Camus and Soren Kierkegaard. Like what young people would say these days, “gets ko na sila”.
Crucifixion at the altar of the Betania Retreat House, Tagaytay. Photo by author, 2017.
It did not stop there. The “mystery texter” eventually texted me, threatening me of so many things, cursing me that I would suffer so much before I die. With that, I sought help from my friends in the news who referred me to a text scam investigator whom I never met but was so kind to help me for free. With his technical skills plus my news background as well as pastoral psychology, I was able to eventually identify my mystery texter who was a co-teacher of the accusers of the teachers in the illicit affair. It turned out, she was so broken-hearted after being dumped by the male teacher for another co-teacher who was prettier and lovelier than her. And she’s also married! She thought I was protecting the accused male teacher who happened to be an ex-seminarian but later we learned he was notorious in having illicit affairs among his married co-teachers.
She eventually resigned from our school in 2006 along with her group of co-teachers who all end up miserable in life. Their leader got separated from her husband who was caught in the act in another school banging an employee in a vacant room during summer break. Another was widowed. The third just got uglier. And she? She went to teach abroad in 2007 but had to go back home after learning her husband’s extra-marital affairs. She was able to go back to our old school because I never told my rector my findings. After a year and a half, she was fired from our school when the wife of our school driver caught them having an affair. I have never seen her nor her group since I left our school in 2010.
The Cross of Christ atop the church of our Lady of Lourdes in France. Photo by my former student Arch. Philip Santiago during his pilgrimage in 2018.
Thank you for bearing with me with my long story. It is the first time I have shared it with anyone except with one good teacher I have kept as a friend. Since yesterday I have been telling you about the “hour” of Jesus Christ, his passion that started at the Last Supper, culminating at his crucifixion. We said the darkest hour of Jesus Christ is also his finest hour because of his immense love. In the end, it was his love that triumphed over sin and evil. And that is why we call this Friday as Good.
When I recall that episode in my life, I thank God. You know when I was being attacked then by that mystery texter, that was the same year God gifted me my first trip to the US when my Ninang’s daughter got married. Life has become harder for me since then but has become “betterer”.
Of course I was scared at that time, checking on everything I was doing. Everything in my life has to be planned and calculated; I hate surprises that is why I am not fond of gifts, that I do not readily open them. But, was I angry or mad? No. Even at that time. I even pitied our teacher for being fooled. There is still pain in my heart when I remember those people behind those things but overall, I have transcended the episode. And I feel I have been transformed by it. The incident made me more resolved to be good and better as a person, as a priest. Most of all, it had taught me that like Jesus Christ, we always have to make a stand for what is true, what is good, what is just. It is always painful, lonely and scary to be on the cross. But it is on the Cross of Christ where we shine and share in his glory. It is only at the Cross of Christ where we are truly transformed into better persons because of love. It is only on the Cross of Christ where we realize the value and beauty of this gift of life, of every person in our lives that we start living authentically. At the Cross of Christ, we are assured always of a bright new day to get better and stat anew in life. A blessed weekend to you!
The Crucifix by National Artist Napoleon Abueva at the Holy Sacrifice Parish at UP Diliman. Here we find Good Friday and Easter Sunday, Death and Glory of Christ always together, a hairline apart from each other. See also the long arms of Christ that seem to be disproportionate to his body. According to a story, the UP Chaplain who commissioned that crucifix, the Jesuit Fr. John Delaney asked Abueva to make the arms of Christ longer than usual to show Jesus welcomes everyone; there’s a room for everyone in the Lord’s Cross, especially those suffering. Photo from Google.
Crucifix at the Fatima Square in Portugal. Photo by Arch. Philip Santiago, October 2018.
The Evangelists tell us that Jesus died on the Cross on a Friday at about 3:00 PM. And they tell us too that our Lord died praying, exactly what most of the Seven Last Words have expressed. But from the gospel we have heard this afternoon written by the beloved disciple John, we discover something very beautiful: Jesus was very calm and peaceful in his prayer unto death.
After this, aware that everything was now finished, in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I thirst.” There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth. When Jesus had taken the wine, he said, “It is finished.” And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.
John 19:28-30
When we are deep in suffering, in severe pain like Jesus on the cross, what do we usually pray?
Most often, we pray that the terrible ordeal we are going through would finally end or be finished. And sometimes, due to desperation, we even pray for death, of how we wish God would finally end our life to be free from all the problems and pains we are going through. And we feel death is the solution.
One of the things I have realized about death came from the 1990’s movie “House of Spirits” when the mother played by Meryl Streep told her daughter played by Winona Ryder that “you do not pray for death because death surely comes.” I always tell that to patients I visit who are in deep pain and suffering. I know it is easier than done. But when we reflect on the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ, we discover how he had made death an offering, a gift of self in love. Clearly we find here that his darkest hour is also his finest hour because of love.
Chapel of the Holy Family, Sacred Heart Novitiate, Novaliches. Photo by author, 2016.
In the original Greek text of St. John, the word used to express Jesus Christ’s final prayer “It is finished” is “tetelestai” from the root word “telos” meaning the final end and direction. It is not just an ending but a direction too. At the start of this year’s Lenten season, we have reflected that life is more about direction than destination. Direction leads to growth and maturity because it is about persons. Destination is just about place and location.
From the very start, Jesus was clear with His mission, of how it would be accomplished. He has always been sure of himself, of who he is. Notice how St. John repeated many times in his account of the Last Supper how Jesus was “fully aware” of everything that was going to happen: he was so composed and serene that he even gave bread to his betrayer Judas Iscariot during their supper. Last night we heard how Jesus knew everything was coming to end that he washed the feet of his disciples.
When his “hour” had come, Jesus was “fully aware of everything” that he was never left to the whims and powers of his enemies when he went through his Passion, calmly and courageously facing his death on the Cross. He always had the upper hand that he was able to pray “It is finished” because he was so sure of his Resurrection on Easter. In praying “It is finished,” Jesus consecrated not only himself but also all humanity to the Father so that we are able to bear and face death squarely like him.
Mt. St. Paul Retreat House, Baguio. Photo by author, June 2017.
In the Mass after the consecration of the bread and wine into Christ’s Body and Blood, we proclaim “Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again.” We call it as “the mystery of our faith” because when we say “Christ has died,” we admit that truly, the Son of God went through all kinds of sufferings in life we all go through like betrayal, rejection, loneliness, sickness, hunger, thirst, and yes, even death. And His sufferings continue as we suffer more in this world marred by evil and sins, making us cry, asking when would these end and be finished. And there lies the mystery of our faith on the Cross that led to Easter: when we look at Jesus Christ on His Cross, we see our own pains and agony as God’s pains and agony too. Jesus joined us in our anguish and death so that we could experience all the more his immense love for us. Without Jesus and his Cross, we would never be able to bear or even face the many deaths we go through daily. May we recognize God’s immense love for us again this afternoon when we venerate the cross and see it as the merging point of human and Divine suffering. Keep praying with Jesus who has the final say with death at Easter. Amen.
*This is an updated version of my Good Friday reflection last year.
Lover’s Bridge in Tamsui Fisherman’s Wharf, New Taipei City, Taiwan opened on Feb. 14, 2003. Photo by author, 29 January 2019.
Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 15 February 2019
I thought last year’s Valentine’s Day was the most interesting in recent years because February 14 fell on an Ash Wednesday, a beautiful juxtaposition of the secular and the sacred that both remind us of love and death. It happened again to me yesterday very early morning when I drove with my brother down south to visit a beloved aunt who is our late father’s favorite sister sick with Parkinson’s for the last seven years. It was the closest experience I ever had with the realities of love and death intimately related.
Unlike my previous visits to her in the last two years, the latest last January 03, Tita Neneng has always looked so sad and depressed with her situation, choosing to be left alone than be seen in her plight. She used to be bursting with life, so busy with her career and family that upon retirement, she spent it going almost everywhere especially to visit her children in the US. Yesterday, Tita Neneng was so different, almost like back to her old self as she smiled and talked a lot. Her face was radiant, exuding with her beauty that had captivated so many men until her 50’s! She was bubbling with joy as we reminisced the good old days when my father was still alive along with her older siblings, our many family reunions, and of course, our Lola Queta. After anointing her with Holy Oil for the Sick and giving her the Viaticum, she told me something that made me cry so hard after: “Father, I am ready.”
Of course, I knew what she meant but I had to lean close to her to ask her again what she just said. “Father, handa na ako mamatay,” she told me with a smile on her lips while her eyes lovingly looked at me. I asked her if she had told it to her husband, Tito Terry and she replied, “hindi pa.” I told her she must tell it to Tito Terry so he would also be ready. She then looked down, then faced me again and told me, “yung mga anak ko umaasa pa sa milagro. Ayaw pa nila ako payagan.” I looked at her and asked permission to inform her children in the States of her feeling ready.
She just smiled. And I cried. Very hard.
I had to excuse myself to run for some tissue in her bathroom as I could not contain myself crying and sobbing beside her. Once in a while, a lesson from our pastoral psychology crossed my mind that as a pastor or minister, I should not cry in front of a patient, but, what can I do? She’s my dearest aunt who had made me feel so loved and special even before I ever thought of becoming a priest in high school?!
Deep inside me, I also felt some joy amidst the sadness because I felt my Tita Neneng is indeed ready to go anytime soon because she was so composed without any tear in her eyes and always with that sweet smile on her lips. Before, Tita Neneng would always cry to me, begging me to pray that God would take her as she could not endure her sufferings anymore. That was before when she begged for death out of desperation as a way out of her pains and sickness. But yesterday, she simply told me she was ready to die maybe because she must have found her direction in life already.
Yesterday was actually a déjà vu for me, having experienced it before with my bestest friend from high school seminary, Gil who was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in January 2013. He would always cry to me whenever I would visit him, asking “why me” with the Big C? Seven months after undergoing surgery and some chemo treatment, his doctors gave up. It was time to face the inevitable as his cancer cells were so strongly active; but, surprisingly, my friend Gil accepted it gallantly, even with joy on his face! I visited him thrice on his final week before he died. And there I was, breaking into tears before him, crying like a child. A reversal of roles had suddenly happened with Gil assuring me with everything, explaining things I should know more as a priest. The most remarkable thing I have discovered with Gil as he approached death was the inner peace he head when he told me how he had forgiven his wife who had abandoned them, telling me how much he still loved her, vowing to keep his marital vows until his end!
The beloved disciple of Christ wrote, “No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us” (1Jn.4:12).
Have you ever noticed how when our loved ones were diagnosed with serious illness, they always cried to us while we tried to assure them that everything would be fine? Then, as our loved ones slowly embraced their mortality and faced death, we in turn cried before them who also assured us that everything would be fine? There seems to be a reversal of roles when our loved ones embrace death because their love has been perfected that they no longer fear anything at all. They must be so assured of where they are going to in life, unlike us who are still uncertain of what awaits us and that is why we cry when they go. We not only cry for them but we cry more for ourselves because we have not seen the bigger picture yet that we still love imperfectly. The great love stories of literature like Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” and Charles Dickens’ “A Tale of Two Cities” show us that death and love always go together not only for a beautiful story but precisely because death shows the depth of one’s love. It is in suffering and death love is perfected. A heart willing to suffer and die for another is the heart that truly loves. Though love is symbolized by the heart as we have it on Valentine’s day, love is best expressed by the Cross of Jesus Christ who showed us the way of true love. Coming to terms with life is coming to terms with death and vice versa. So, let us have Valentine’s day every day!
Friday, 02 November 2018, Commemoration of All Souls
2 Maccabees 12:43-46//Romans 5:5-11//John 6:37-40
On this second day of November, O God, before praying for the souls of our dearly departed ones, let me praise and thank you for the gift of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI whose reflections on hope led us to the beauty of eternal life with you. For my prayer today, I have borrowed his reflection and teaching on Purgatory found in “Spe Salvi” (47-48):
Lord Jesus Christ, you are the fire which burns and saves us as our Judge and Savior. In the Purgatory, it is still that encounter with your love that our faithful departed are purified so they may enter heaven.
You have showed us how our lives are involved with one another, linked together through innumerable interactions. You have taught us and shown us while here on earth that no one lives alone, no one sins alone, and no one is saved alone. Indeed, no man is an island.
The lives of other people continually spill over mine, in what I think, say, do, and achieve. And conversely, my life spills over into that of others, for better and for worse.
Let me continue, O Lord, to pray for the poor souls in Purgatory even if my prayer can only play a small part in their purification. Let my prayer express my interconnectedness with God our Father and with one another, here on earth and in the hereafter. It is never too late to touch the heart of another, nor is it in vain. Let me continue praying for the departed, O Lord, like Judas had instructed his army in the second book of Maccabees for our hope is essentially also a hope for others too.
Remind me always that I shall never limit myself to asking how I shall be saved but also what can I do that others may be saved too so that in praying for all the souls in Purgatory, then I have done my utmost for my own personal salvation as well. AMEN. Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, Parokya ng San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista, Gov. F. Halili Ave., Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan 3022. *All images from Google.
Whether you choose to celebrate today’s Halloween in its truest, Christian sense that is sacred or in the more popular pagan manner that is scary, today’s feast that literally means All Hallowed (Holy) Eve reminds us of things that are not seen, always hidden. Hiddenness is a sacred presence where each one of us is all by one’s self focused on God who is the root of our being and existence no matter how one may call Him. In one of his writings which I could no longer recall despite the help of Google, St. John Paull II explained that God created man first to be alone with Him. And that is how it has always been even if people get married for eventually in the end, we die alone with God.
This gift of hiddenness within each one of us is manifested in our desire to once in a while be still, to go to the mountains or anywhere for a retreat or introspection, for “me” time to rediscover and “find” one’s self anew. Hiddenness is the passageway to the great gifts of silence and stillness that everyone needs to maintain balance in this highly competitive world filled with so much noise where everybody is talking, even cars, ATM’s, and elevators. How funny that we complain of not having enough time for ourselves but we never cease to stop talking and listening. And not only that: we have allowed everything about us not only heard but even seen on cameras. First came the Sony Walkman almost 40 years ago that became the ancestor of every gadget that have invaded our hiddenness; now, we have camera everywhere, shooting and recording everything that nothing is hidden anymore in us and from us. We have stripped ourselves of the innate mystery of being human, of the beauty and gift of personhood that some have tried to reveal using the camera but failed because we are beyond seeing and appreciation.
While it is true that cameras are essential in keeping our surroundings safe and secured that it is referred to as “big brother”, again we find here another case of abusing technology to the detriment of our humanity. As I have told you here last week (Respect In Digital Age), we need to put technology at its right place, particularly the camera that robs us of that essential thing we call respect. But the greatest threat and danger posed on us by the camera is how we have allowed it to invade our hiddenness with almost everybody wanting to be on camera without realizing it often backfires, sometimes painfully.
The camera is a projector, trying to show in a bigger picture deeper realities notably the plain truth. Here lies our quiet storm when we are so eager to project everything and everyone including our very selves on the camera when we do not realize nor examine what we are really showing. The great paradox is that the camera does not lie that always seem to show what is negative than what is positive in us. Keep in mind the TV is called “idiot box”because those inside the television presuppose everybody watching them is an idiot when in fact, they are more idiots. Watching television – news or entertainment – can reveal who are superficial and those with substance. Sometimes TV can be deceiving that we take some people and things appearing on the screen as good and credible without us realizing these are “presentations” that are manipulated to produce a desired effect called the hypodermic theory. This explains the popularity of YouTube as people prefer “raw footages” that show people and events “as it happened.” Even movie directors are adapting to this style to show action “as it is” to give the film a more realistic feel that contribute to the blurring of lines between reality and virtual reality.
We need to regain our hallowed hiddenness if we wish to grow and mature truly as persons – emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. With the camera always around us even in the church, sad to say, everybody and everything has become so ordinary and cheap. Even God has to keep His hiddenness simply because that is how He had created everything. See the beautiful speech of God before Job that can transport you to the sublime beauty of nature and creation. The beloved apostle also tells us of the hiddenness of Jesus Christ who “In the beginning was the word.” (Jn.1:1) All four evangelists likewise have no records of the “hidden years” of Jesus before the age of 30 except for Matthew and Luke who gave us little glimpses of the birth and childhood of the Lord. These are all meant to teach us of the value of hiddenness, of being rooted always in our being and with God. Appearances in life are very fleeting and for more impact, we have to spend more time in hiddenness as revealed to us by Christ, the saints, artists and other great men and women of the world who came to be known and popular only after upon death. So many times we have also experienced in the funeral of our relatives and friends that we discover their hidden goodness and kindness from stories of those condoling with us.
This November 1 and 2 as we remember all those who have left us in this world, let us keep its sacred origins: All Saints Day for those souls already in heaven and All Souls’ Day for those who have departed but still being purified or staying at the purgatory. Both dates invite us to hide also in some prayer, remembering God and our loved ones whom we shall surely follow someday without any camera at all. Like them in hiddenness from us, let us be focused more on God than on self and things that pass. Here is the late Fr. Henri Nouwen on hiddenness:
“In our society we are inclined to avoid hiddenness. We want to be seen and acknowledged. We want to be useful to others and influence the course of events. But as we become visible and popular, we quickly grow dependent on people and their responses and easily lose touch with God, the true source of our being. Hiddenness is the place of purification. In hiddenness we find our true selves.”
*Photo by Mr. Raffy Tima of GMA-7 News, sunset on a flight to Dubai, October 2018. Used with permission. Bible verse from Google.
