A wedding homily for Sir Vicente R. Santos III & Ms. Jillian Bianca Carpio
St. Michael the Archangel Parish, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig, 12 July 2024
Tobit 8:4b-8 >><}}}}*> + <*{{{{><< John 15:9-12
Congratulations, Sir Teng and Mam Jill on your wedding day. Your decision to get married in the Church is an expression of love itself because love is a decision, not just a feeling. Making a decision to get married is a choice to be small, to be broken into pieces to be united, to be one with the other person, your beloved.
Every time we make that decision to love, we renounce our very selves, our selfishness. The truest sign that we love is when we are able to love somebody more than our self; and to grow in love is to always choose the other person by a daily renunciation of one’s self which Ben&Ben sang so well, “Mahiwaga… pipiliin ka sa araw-araw…”
This we saw in our first reading in the beautiful prayer by Tobiah with Sarah on their honeymoon when he mentioned God’s original plan in Genesis in creating woman as a suitable partner of man.
The root word of “partner” is part. A part is always small that makes up the whole. Every whole is made up of small parts.
A part-ner means you are both a part of each other and you both have to be small in order to be whole as married couple.
In that beautiful story of Tobiah and Sarah, we find them choosing to become small in order to become part of the bigger whole, of each other, and of God.
Tobiah is the son of Tobit who lived in exile in Nineveh, the capital of Assyria that had conquered Israel in the Old Testament. Tobit used to be wealthy but had a reversal of fortunes later in life made worse with his going blind. He sent his son Tobiah to Media to collect a debt from a fellow Jew with hopes he could also find there a bride for himself among their kindred.
God then sent Archangel Raphael who disguised as a traveler to Tobiah who was so kind to welcome him as companion. On their way to Media, Tobiah was attacked by a large, strange fish while taking a bath at the Tigris River. Tobiah was able to subdue the creature while Raphael instructed him to take out its heart, liver and gall due to its medicinal properties. Tobiah obeyed Raphael and they proceeded to Media to collect the debt owed to his father. There he met and fell for a Jewish woman named Sarah.
But, there was a major problem with Sarah: she had been widowed seven times because the devil Asmodeus would always come and kill her husband just before their honeymoon!
Raphael pushed Tobiah to still marry Sarah, teaching how to drive away the devil Asmodeus on their honeymoon by burning the heart and liver of the strange fish he had killed. Tobiah followed Raphael’s instructions and Asmodeus was finally driven away that is why we have this scene of them praying in thanksgiving for their marriage. (This is the reason St. Raphael is portrayed with a fish and why arbularyos burn fish intestines to drive away evil spirits.)
Tobiah returned home to present his wife Sarah to his parents in Nineveh; Raphael again instructed Tobiah to apply the dried gall of the fish onto the eyes of his father Tobit to regain his sight. Amid their celebrations for Tobit’s healing and Tobiah’s marriage, Raphael revealed himself as God’s archangel sent to them to bring their healing which is the meaning of the name Raphael, “God has healed”.
See how Tobiah and Sarah, as well as Tobit even Archangel Raphael chose to be small and humble before God and everyone, to play mere parts in the grand plan of God in their lives. They were all willing to be humble and small.
Sir Teng and Mam Jill, you were sent for each other by God like St. Raphael to Tobiah and Sarah and Tobit. Handle your life with prayer. Always invite Jesus into your life as a married couple just like today you when you invited Him to bless your wedding. Do not forget to celebrate Mass every Sunday, to pray daily, as much as possible together as husband and wife.
True greatness is in becoming small like a little child as Jesus Christ repeatedly told His disciples. In this world where we compete on being the biggest and most powerful, God tells us the key to fulfillment is in being small, being humble, to become a part of the whole. The greatness of every person depends on the measure of his or her ability to share because it is only in participating in the whole does one becomes truly great.
Marriage is becoming small to become one. Husband and wife cannot be one unless they let go of themselves first. Marriage is not a competition of who has more love to give and share but simply of loving and loving, giving and giving.
When you reflected Sir Teng on what to do with your life and realized you will never be complete without Mam Jill, that is being small, that is truly loving because you are willing to let go of yourself to be a part of Jill.
Remember, there’s no perfect husband nor perfect wife but you can be the ideal husband, the ideal wife by forgetting yourself through daily conversion in Jesus Christ who gave His total self out of love for us. And you do not have to die on the cross literally, Sir Teng and Mam Jill.
Sir Teng, the ideal husband is someone who is deaf. Bingi. You know how women are. They talk a lot as they remember everything in detail even from long, long time ago. The moment Mam Jill starts talking, play deaf. So you don’t quarrel or debate.
Mam Jill, the idal wife is someone who is blind. Bulag. Problem with women is you see everything, kahit wala naman, may nakikita pa rin mga babae. When you see something with Sir Teng, play blind. Wala yun. Mabait siya talaga.
You two were brought together by your love for the French language. Every language is made up of small parts called letters used to form words put together in a sentence to express a thought or a feeling so we can communicate.
But, “communication is more than the expression of one’s thoughts and feelings; at its most profound level, it is the giving of self in love like Jesus Christ on the Cross” (Communio et Progressio #11)… just like every husband and wife too.
So, be small, Sir Teng and Mam Jill for you to remain in love, to grow in love, and be great in love. Amen.
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