The word “respect” is from the Latin terms “re” and “specere” that literally mean “to look again” from which came the words “spectacular” and“spectacles”. Hence, to respect a person, a place, and a thing means to look at them twice or thrice and see their dignity. On the other hand, disrespecting a person, a place, and a thing means refusing to recognize their worth because we only see ourselves and their differences. For us to be respectful, we need to look again and again at persons, things, and places so we could see and give them the respect they deserve, even when we are apart or when nobody is looking at us.
And here lies our “quiet storm”: respect is becoming rare with the coming of the ubiquitous camera phone. We no longer look at everyone and everything as persons and humans because all of our seeing and looking are now “mediated” by technology. We look at people not as subjects but objects caught on our camera screens, to be kept in memory cards than in our hearts to be cherished. We do not look at people anymore but simply “shoot” them to collect them into our “albums” or “folders” than engage them in conversations, exchanges that excite our souls and being. We no longer see each other eye to eye, person to person, but cellphone to cellphone or iPad to iPad.
Many people have become so accustomed these days to be consumed with their phones and other gadgets in the middle of meals, meetings, and conversations totally unmindful – and disrespectful – of the other persons they are with. We have become more fixed with machines that eventually we manipulate people as if they have buttons and touchscreens. See the folly of most weddings these days, of how phones and cameras shatter the solemnity and intimacy of the occasion, stealing the attention from the bride! Is it lack of common sense or respect, or both, that many guests seem to forget they were invited to personally witness and share in the joy of the new couple and not to take their pictures?
This loss of respect due to abuse of technology extends to our relationships with God, sadly fostered by many priests enslaved by gadgets. Remember how during the Mass presided by Pope Francis at the Manila Cathedral in 2015 when priests were seen on TV taking selfies and groufies from the start to the end of the solemn celebration! And it happens so often when clerics gather among themselves, unmindful (some ignorant) of the Pope’s repeated warning against priests taking pictures during the Mass. How can the people be expected to respect God especially during the Mass or respect sacred spaces like the church when the priests are preoccupied with mundane things like taking pictures or checking cellphones during liturgical celebrations? And so, respect is further lost right within the sphere of the sacred and holy, in the church when during celebration of the Sacraments, people are more concerned adjusting their gadgets than praying. Every celebration of the sacrament is a moment and experience of grace, of encountering God and His holiness among His people.
But the most disturbing area where there is massive erosion of respect due to abuse of digital technology is with how we regard the dying and the dead.
Recently I went to anoint a dying parishioner. His room was dimly lit and I could hardly read the prayers for the dying until a flood of white light in my direction came. Suddenly, it went off and when I looked back to request for the light again, it turned out to be coming from the camera phone of the dying patient’s only daughter who was “recording” my anointing of his dying father. It was a surreal experience that got me thinking after the rites if it was just a case of “generation gap” or a lack of respect and concern for persons? That experience held me for some time, especially when I recalled how I skipped breakfast to run to the side of the dying man, praying hard for his peaceful death with his neighbors while… his only daughter was busy filming his dying moments??? Every week I visit the sick in my parish, in the hospitals and in their homes where there is only one same scene: a deafening silence broken by intermittent cries or sobs of family members gathered around a dying loved one. Not until that sick call last Monday morning that was filmed and uploaded when the patient died later that evening.
And this situation gets worse during funerals where it seems to have become “normal” to have groufies – with all smiles – beside the dead. Are we not supposed to be mourning when we go to sympathize with the bereaved family? Where have all the respect, decency, and decorum or taste and common sense gone during funerals and wakes? TV news is more respectful in keeping its unwritten code to never show the deceased as a sign of respect. The only time this was skipped was during the wake of Ninoy Aquino in 1983 after his mother Dona Aurora allowed him shown on newspapers and television. And that was an extraordinary situation that eventually earned Ninoy tremendous respect.
There is a need to put technology in its proper use, especially in the Church and in our spiritual endeavors to keep our sense of respect, both for the living and the dead. The Book of Ecclesiastes reminds us that “there is a time for everything, a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.”(Eccl.3:1,4) Technology is a gift from God and Vatican II rightly noted in its document on social communications that “The Church recognizes that these media, if properly utilized, can be of great service to mankind, since they greatly contribute to men’s entertainment and instruction as well as to the spread and support of the Kingdom of God. The Church recognizes, too, that men can employ these media contrary to the plan of the Creator and to their own loss.” (Inter Mirifica #2) Let us limit technology in our interpersonal relationships so we can start looking into each other anew as persons to experience our humanity and rediscover our dignity and, along with it, the nobility of respect. (Photos from Google.)
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