Marriage is completing each other

The Lord Is My Chef Wedding Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Homily, Wedding of Dra. Arianna Julia Enriquez & Dr. Dexter Falcon
Santuario de San Jose Parish, Greenhills, Mandaluyong
28 February 2025
Photo by Deesha Chandra on Pexels.com

Congratulations, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter in choosing to get married in the Church. Many people these days disregard the Sacrament of Marriage, sadly seeing it more in human terms and most sad of all, many would rather follow superstitions than faith in getting married.

When I was still in a parish in Bulacan, a couple met with me due to a problem with the date they wanted to get married that fell on a Saturday. I offered to them a Friday but the mother of the bride said “araw po ng mga mangkukulam ang Biyernes!” Whoa! Did you know that?

Trying to hide my laughter, I told the couple how about on a Thursday which is my day off and would just cancel it to officiate their wedding. The mother again interjected, “nakupo Father… lalo na po ang Huwebes! Araw ng kasal ng mga tikbalang!” I could not contain myself anymore and I told the mother, “Katoliko pala mga tikbalang dito sa inyo!”

I mentioned this experience because in the provinces, very few couples get married in the month of February like you. Your Tita, Dra Mylene knows this very well… happy birthday po! When people find out you were born in February, they say “kaya ka pala ganyan, kulang-kulang.” And that’s how most people see February – kulang or incomplete – that is why even couples avoid it as a date for their wedding.

Of course that is not true. Every day is a perfect day for wedding for each day is blessed by God – most especially the days of February, the most perfect month in number of days. February was added to our calendar to complete the 365 days of revolution of Earth around the Sun to make it a year. It is February that completes the year as it fills the missing days following the miscalculations by the early Romans.

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And that’s marriage. A man and a woman get married to complete each other.

Remember God’s declaration in the first reading, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

See how in creating the woman, God cast a deep sleep on man and took his rib to form it into a woman. The man was totally unaware of what was going on when God created and gave him the woman as his “suitable partner.”

This is most true with you, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter: you were both totally unaware in the beginning of how God worked silently in the background that you would eventually complete each other as friends, as lovers and now as husband and wife.

You have realized after your long relationship from pre-med to med proper and now as full-pledged doctors that you both cannot be complete without each other that even if you were separated by time and distance, you still made efforts to be together because that is love. You have realized that you can only be complete and whole with each other. Ikaw lang, sapat na!

Nothing is so toxic and difficult, nothing is most joyous when you think of each other, when you love each other. And so, simply love, love, and love! Huwag kayong magbibilangan! No need to have the numbers “224” tattooed on your arms like Philmar and Andi Eigenman.

When you have an LQ, who must make the first move to reach out and make peace?

Some couples say the man should make the first move but what happened to the rule “ladies first”? Others say the first to reconcile and say sorry is the one who started the lover’s quarrel but, would anyone really admit that?

The answer is this: when couples have an LQ, the one who has the most love to give must be the first to make the move for peace and reconciliation. Yung higit na nagmamahal ang unang kikibo.

Love is not a competition and love cannot be really measured. The true measure of love is when you love without measure. Nobody is perfect; hence, human love is also imperfect. Only God can love us perfectly. That is why, just keep on loving each other, letting your love flow to each other by taking care of each other.

That is the beautiful imagery of the ribs – inside the rib cage, the most vital organs of the body are protected and kept safe like the heart, the lungs, the liver. Lalo na ikaw, Doc Dexter: you are lacking in one rib and that is Dra. Arianna. Alagaan mo siyang mabuti. Boss namin siya…

God willed in all eternity that the two of you get married today not tomorrow nor next year nor last year. It was God who set February 28 as your wedding date because on this day God completes you.

However, though the husband and the wife complete each other, it is Jesus Christ who cements their union in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Jesus is the “gold paint” in the Japanese kintsugi art of repairing broken pottery.

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of joining together the broken pieces of a jar or a vase with a glue and then pain with gold its cracks to make the broken piece more beautiful. Along this line of thought is St. Paul the Apostle who described us as “earthen vessels” – palayok in Tagalog: so delicate and easily broken yet God still fills us with Himself and His grace because He loves us so much.

And that is my second final reflection for you dear Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter: love is not natural but supernatural – it is divine because it is rooted in God! Love is more than a feeling which is natural. Love is a decision, requiring your cooperation with God who pours out His blessings to you since you met despite your imperfections and flaws. That is the meaning of Marriage as a Sacrament – it is more than a human and natural bond but a supernatural, divine union of man and woman who become the signs of Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Heed the call of Jesus in our gospel today, “remain in me and make my joy complete.”

How lovely is your love story! Clearly of divine origin that you met in a theology class during your senior year in college. You did not meet in a party nor in any of those rows of restaurants across Ateneo or at the parking lot. You met in a theology class where you learned about God.

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And the more you discovered God, the more you discovered each other, realizing in the process that the more you need God to make you both complete which is the principle and foundation of St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises.

We are able to love because God loved us first as the beloved disciple wrote in his first letter. That is the mystery of love, of married love specifically that Ben & Ben said so well in their song, “Mahiwaga… Pipiliin ka sa araw-araw… Mahiwaga… and nadarama sa iyo ay malinaw.”

When I think of this mystery of divine love in married couples, the image that comes to my mind are the “praying hands”. Each hand represents the husband and the wife. They retain their individuality as they freely pursue growth and maturity and fulfillment in life and career. Both hands are flexible and can move freely.

But, look at these two praying hands: as you get closer with each other, you also create a sacred space between you for Jesus Christ. Like that glue painted gold in the Japanese art of kintsugi, it is Jesus who makes you one and complete, it is Jesus who joins you together in his love.

Hence, whatever you do to each other, you do it first to Jesus. When you are faithful and true to Dra . Arianna, you are first faithful and true Doc Dexter to Jesus. The same with you Dra. Arianna: when you bake pastries and cakes for Doc Dexter, it is Jesus whom you first make happy and delighted.

But the moment you Doc Dexter cheat and lie to Dra. Arianna, you first fool Jesus. When you make taray to Doc Dexter, you first make taray to Jesus, Dra. Arianna.

Handle your life always with prayer. Every day, invite Jesus into your married life, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter in the same manner you have both invited Him today on your wedding day. God bless you always, Dra. Arianna and Doc Dexter! May today be your least happiest day in your life as couple! Amen.

Photo by Emre Kuzu on Pexels.com

More than natural, love is supernatural & divine

The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II
Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle C, 23 February 2025
1 Samuel 26:2, 7-9, 12-13, 22-23 ><)))*> 1 Corinthians 15:45-49 ><)))*> Luke 6:27-38
Photo by author Santisima Trinidad Parish, Malolos City, 18 March 2023.

We continue this Sunday Jesus Christ’s Sermon on the Plain with his teachings getting more disturbing, twice telling us to love our enemies. Yes, you heard it right…

Jesus said to his disciples: “To you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse, pray for those who mistreat you… But rather, love your enemies and do good to them, and lend expecting nothing back; then your reward will be great and you will be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:27-28, 35-36).

See that after selecting Twelve from among his many disciples, Jesus will be asking more from his followers that includes us today. As we have reflected last Sunday with the four woes of Christ, there is no middle ground in being a Christian. We have to make a decision, to choose Jesus always.

This Sunday, Jesus shows us it is no simple choice we have to make because loving our enemies is easier said than done.

In this age of social media when everything is blown out of proportion with everyone dragged even into the quarrels and infidelities among celebrities, the more it is difficult to avoid making enemies with many of us easily taking sides in the petty issues that are trending.

It is the same thing with our way of loving these days with how easy it is to love people who love us too. Anyone can be so nice to people nice also to them as it comes naturally.

But real love is not really that natural.

True love as Jesus had shown us on the Cross is more than the natural flow of things. It is always supernatural, beyond the natural flow of emotions. Jesus is asking us that we go beyond what comes naturally especially with love because love is a decision, a fruit of the meeting of mind and of heart, a oneness within every person that is also a sure sign of one’s maturity, spirituality.

Loving our enemies, doing good on those who do bad against us is love of the highest order. It is not weakness but actually a strength for no weakling can muster the courage and clarity to be loving with one’s enemies.

Loving our enemies is knowing better than the rest on the repercussions, the intricacies and complexities of being adamant and insistent.

This is the beautiful example shown by David in the first reading: instead of delivering into his hands King Saul he had found sleeping unguarded inside a cave while pursuing him and his men, David spared his life out of respect for God who anointed Saul as King of Israel.

See also the practicality of Jesus in teaching us to love our enemies and those who do us bad: if you only love or care or be kind with those who love and care and are kind to us, then it is not real love and caring and kindness at all you are giving. Jesus pointed out that even criminals and bad people do it. If that is the case, then, we are no different from them if we love only those who love us!

Fatima University students spent a Sunday afternoon of prayers and fun with kids with cerebral palsy and their families, 09 February 2025.

True love, real love is never transactional, never a deal nor an agreement in this age of many marriages punctuated with pre-nuptials. True love is freely given without any reservations, no ifs nor buts. As St. Mother Teresa used to say, the true measure of love is to love without measure.

Love is something we fully give away, never kept. You never scrimp on love. It is always given in full. Scrimp on your love, you lose because the love you keep and withdraw is never kept nor save. In fact, a love not shared and given becomes stale. Or expired. Napapanis.

Like the things we love eating or using, love comes without any expiration date that says “best consumed before February 23, 2025.”

Love is best when freely given and shared. Once “opened” or given, no need to keep and refrigerate it. Consume it right away! Everything. No love is ever wasted. Walang sayang na pagmamahal, lahat may pinatutunguhan at binubungang mabuti.

Photo by author, Hidden Springs Resort, Calauan, Laguna, 20 February 2025.

Love is like a natural spring water, or the waterfalls that keep flowing, watering and refreshing countless tributaries, people, plants and animals. Just keep loving! Love, love, love!

At his Sermon on the Plain, Jesus clarifies that true love like his love is first of all not of natural level and flow but of supernatural nature, divine like him. Jesus emphasized this at his Last Supper, describing it as a “new commandment of love” because it is a love rooted in God not just in man.

The following Good Friday on the Cross, Jesus proved his love as true and real. Most of all, free.

We today experience that true love of Jesus even to this day because of his rising three days after his crucifixion at Easter. This is what Paul meant in the second reading that in Jesus Christ, we have become heavenly and spiritual. The love of Christ have made us like him, divine and heavenly. What a great honor we now have! For being so loved by God in Jesus Christ, we too must love truly and freely like him!

Photo from vaticannews.va.

Last month, I strongly reacted to a statement by Rappler’s Ms. Maria Ressa in her interview before a speech at the Vatican Jubilee of Journalists.

I called her “heretic” when she told her interviewer that Filipinos should “stay away from dogmas and be good” (https://lordmychef.com/2025/01/27/on-being-good-as-a-catholic/)

That night in my prayer, I felt God “disturbed” me for being so harsh and judgmental of a journalist presumably totally unaware of the meaning of “dogma” in the Church.

The following day, I got a message from the reporter who posted that story and naturally, did not like what I wrote. As days went on, I felt “disturbed” and “uneasy” with my calling her “heretic”. After three days, I edited my blog and removed the harsh word as I realized calling others with names or labels would not help at all in clarifying things especially about our faith.

Most of all, it is not the Christian way of loving others, of putting others down just to uphold our faith and beliefs. It is not love. And I felt so afraid Jesus might personally get down from his Cross to take away that harsh word I have written.

Next month, I will be turning 60 years old, a senior sixty-cent so excited with my discount card. As I reflected these days on the immense love of Jesus for me in these 60 years, 27 as his priest, I have been praying, where in my life is God asking me to love more like Christ?

Loving our enemies is not merely the people we hate, or those who have hurt us or different from us, not like us. Loving our enemies includes those darkness within us, those weaknesses we hide and cover, sins we refuse to admit or continue to justify. Many times our worst enemies are those within us, our very selves.

It is difficult. And terrifying. Loving our enemies is easier said than done. It is also disturbing but at the same time, so liberating because the more we love, the more we feel free for Christ and for others. Amen. Have a blessed, loving week ahead.

Sharing with you a video I have taken last Thursday at the Hidden Springs Resort in Laguna; the sight and scene of a waterfalls reminded me so much of God’s love that never runs out.